Work-Life Balance. A Journey by the Rogue Male

by Fred McMurray

This is me at about 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 1, 2018. Yes, I know I look like crap; you probably would too if three hours earlier, one of the best cardiologists in the U.S. had yanked you back from an eyeball-to-eyeball meeting with the Grim Reaper. How does this relate to work-life balance? Well, as the title says, it’s a journey.

My journey toward work-life balance started on my last day in corporate America, which was Jan. 16, 2005. It was 13 months to the day after I had kissed my wife goodbye, disconnected her from life support and held her in my arms as she died. The next day, after waking up and not knowing how I got into bed the night before, I started on my path toward work-life balance after I determined that life was too short to live on someone else’s time clock . This was my first step on the journey to work-life balance.

Over the next 10+ years I enjoyed being a partner in Westvyne, a marketing firm with roots in Chicago and an office in Shell Beach, CA, working with companies large and small and helping professionals find their marketing path. On the family side of things, I remarried and was also blessed with my first grandchild, Addison. The first time my granddaughter smiled and threw her arms around me time stopped. I knew I would turn my financial interest in Westvyne to my granddaughter in about 25 years. Life was balanced, or so I thought.

I remember being at a Franchise Referral Network meeting in early 2018 and mentioning “work-life balance,” a phrase that a recent Pillars of Franchising guest, Molly Maid owner Kristin Selmeczy, had used during her appearance. There was dead silence from the other attendees, and after about 60 seconds, Ron Silbertstein, co-founder and Principal at Bud’s Place Franchising, LLC, spoke up and said “Fred, the reason for the silence is that none of us understand the phrase ‘work-life balance.’” I chuckled and said “that means working anything under 80 hours a week.” Yes, I had adopted the workaholic mentality that had made me successful in corporate settings and applied it to the projects in my entrepreneurial life - and I was still loving it. I was working on projects, making money, developing new relationships, and even the Pillars of Franchising show had started to grow beyond any expectations. I felt balanced, albeit tired.

The second step for me was understanding that work-life balance is a journey. The last quarter of 2018 would prove, viciously, that even during the best journeys the unthinkable can happen. The loss of my friend, partner and mentor Mike Boehler to depression in late September of 2018 was devastating. I had my airline tickets and car booked for the Dec. 8, 2018 memorial service, where the family was planning to include various videocast and internet radio shows Mike and I had done over the years. I would be able to say goodbye to my friend.

Hmm, you say what about the picture above. Yes, that Saturday in December should have been the end of my life’s journey. After being in the office all day I headed home, but I never made it home. Instead I blacked out at a stop light, rolled the intersection and hit a street sign. God smiled upon me as someone saw me crash and called the paramedics who got me to the hospital in time for my cardiologist’s heroics. The day after the photo was taken, I took the step in my work-life balance journey by realizing that I hadn’t been listening to my tiredness. If I had, I would have understood that I wasn’t in balance physically.

Tuesday, December 4th, before my cardiologist sent me home, he told me to go home, rest, relax and recuperate. I said, “Doc, I’ve got the Pillars of Franchising show on Thursday.” He said, “I recommend you go home and relax.” So, I did... after the show. Was I relapsing into the workaholic mode? In this case, the answer for me was “no.” For me, it was the step in my journey in which I determined would not live life in fear of death. I had accepted that I could die when I first became conscious in the cardiac operating center. Rejecting the fear of death made me grateful for every day. Being grateful for each day has made it far easier to change my diet, which has allowed me to lose 40+ pounds, decrease my bad cholesterol to 57 and lead my cardiologist to say, “I don’t expect to see you again until next year.” I found gratitude. Without gratitude, we can never truly have work-life balance.

On December 3, 2020, I will celebrate my 2nd re-birthday with a cookout on Avila Beach in Avila Beach, CA. It’s my way of celebrating the rebalancing of my work and life. Stop in and say hello if you are nearby anytime from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. and we can talk about work-life balance, or anything else! Spending time on a beach definitely helps balance your work-life.

Fred McMurray is a champion of social media for B2B companies, Co-host and Executive Producer of Pillars of Franchising, CEO of Linked Local Network – a source for content to help professionals achieve work-life balance and CEO of Westvyne, a marketing company in Shell Beach, California with a global clientele. In 2013, Inc magazine listed him one of 54 social influencers. Fred’s mission is to provide a digital platform for online communities to connect via social media networks to the local offline community – leading to new relationships, increased support systems and shared resources. Inc Magazine listed Fred McMurray as a Twitter Social Media Influencer for 2013-2019. Pillars of Franchising is now a live multi-channel virtual event broadcast every Thursday at 4p Central time. Listeners can chat live at the Pillars of Franchising website or call 323-580-5755 to listen and ask questions. For more information visit https://www.pillarsoffranchising.com/