FRANK M A G A Z I N E
Issue 11 Dec - Jan 2020 2021
FRANK by name FRANK by nature
FRANK M A G A Z I N E
Issue 11 Dec - Jan 2020 2021
FRANK by name FRANK in nature
Fine Fragrances
we adore
An elegant olfactory palette to reflect New York's trendy neighborhood.
A scent that captures the real meaning of precious.
East meets West with English rose notes enveloped in Arabic-inspired accords for this fragrance.
This scent is inspired by the designer’s private rose garden.
BOND NO. 9 TriBeCa Eau de Parfum (100ml) £350 JO MALONE LONDON Rose & White Musk Cologne £200
THAMEEN Sparkling Opal Perfume Extract (50ml) £195 TOM FORD Rose Prick Eau de Parfum (50ml) £218
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G I V E A W A Y
RELAX REVIVE ENERGISE AGNI Giveaway Win one of these WIN!.. beautiful candles An AGNI candle. Watch out for our Instagram posts in December to enter.
AGNI Manchester CIC is a not-for-profit social enterprise based in Manchester, founded by husband and wife duo Jess and Matt Cronshaw. Their mission is to improve mental wellbeing through yoga and mindful craft. They create handmade ceramics to enhance your yoga practice and use the profits to fund candle making workshops and traineeships for people experiencing mental health problems.
agni.org.uk www.thefrankmagazine.com
Editor's note
''Frank is for women who want to be informed, inspired, amused, look good and be healthy.''
Well hello everyone, I hope this letter finds you well. This month we have not one, but two fabulous covers. One celebrating art with the wonderful ‘Girl with Stripped hair’ painted by Margot McDaid. I love Margot's strong images and am inspired by her work ethic. Her story inside. Our second cover star is the beautiful and hilarious Louise Boyle or as many of you may know her on instagram @mamastillgotit and yes she certainly has!
We also talk to the award winning news reader and journalist Gillian Jospeh, the brilliant food writer Russell Norman, whose knowledge of Venice would challenge a local’s, Andrea McLean talks to life coach Kate Tilston about her important book ‘Girl on Fire’ and we hear from the powerhouse that is Emma Sayle, the founder of the world’s most popular adult parties…
We also have gift ideas galore, fashion for home celebrations, beauty news and tips for a sparkly holiday season.
And so much more, so enjoy….
Indulge in some incredible winter recipes created especially for Frank by Francesca Klottrup, delve into some book ideas for those long dark nights and take a breath with our wellbeing pages.
Over the festive period I will be... READING
As we draw closer to the end of an extremely challenging year, I wanted to share this quote from my latest read ‘I am an Island’ by Tamsin Calidas, “There is always a time of darkness in life, but it makes the light all the brighter when it comes.” I believe this to be true and I wish you much joy and peace during the holidays and a very Happy and safe New Year. Much love as always Melanie X
No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality by Michael J Fox
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Contents December January 2020-21
p14 FRANK’s Ultimate Gift Guide
GIFT GUIDE
p42 Wyse London Giveaway
p36 Fashion Checks p9 Product of the Month p10 Cover Model Interview Louise Boyce p14 PFRANK’s Ultimate Gift Guide
p59 Amanda Harrington
FASHION p22
BEAUTY p47
p24 Baby it’s Cold Outside p26 IT’S MY PARTY FASHION SHOOT p36 Fashion Checks P38 Fashion Interview - Marielle Wyse p42 Wyse London Giveaway p44 Fox & Taylor Giveaway
p48 Sparkle at Christmas Fiona Eustace p50 Festive Hair Fiona Eustace P52 Beauty Interview - Sanela Lazic p59 Amanda Harrington Tan Giveaway p60 Beauty from Within
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INTERVIEWS p63 p64 Cover Artist Margo in Margate p70 Russell Norman Passion for Venice p77 Russell Norman Four Seasons of Home Cooking p86 Tis the Season Recipes from Francesca Klottrup p94 Author David Nicholls p98 Emma Sayle Celebrating 15 years in business p106 Gillian Joseph Award winning journalist
p70 Russell Norman Passion for Venice
GIVEAWAYS... Check out pages 4, 42, 44, and 144 for exciting prizes
HEALTH & WELLNESS p110 p112 Andrea McLean Live, Learn & Thrive p120 Ayurvedic Sleep Jo Webber p124 Owen O’Kane Ten to Zen p128 Health & Healing Chillout Retreats P132 Gillian McKieth Seasonal Affective Disorder p136 Collagen 101 Dr Naomi Newman-Beinart p142 The Power of Yet vs the Curse of Enough Rachel Ann Cullen p146 Not Giving Up, Not Giving In Jenny Glenton p148 Diet Confusion Sandie Fredriksson p152 Setting Goals 2021 Style Kate Tilston
The Reading List...
WHAT TO… p161 FRANK LOVES... L'ABU SKIN
p162 Home Scents p164 Why Not Try? Sam Baines p166 The READING List - Eleanor Tattersfield p170 Elspeth Beard Lara Platman
AND MUCH MUCH MORE.........
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T E A M
MELANIE
Photo by Alan Strutt
MILLIE
Photo by Alan Strutt
F R A N K
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF - Melanie Sykes
''Melanie Sykes was a fashion model before moving into hosting TV and Radio shows. Alongside her presenting work, she is now Editor in chief of FRANK magazine. As a woman over forty, she felt there was a gap in the magazine market for women her age and wanted to rectify that. “I believe it is never too late to try something new and creating and editing FRANK is the perfect project at this stage in my life and something I am relishing." ''After 15 years in the tech world, Millie now has successful businesses in publishing and social media, delivering original content and design. She says she is excited about helping FRANK to be the magazine of choice for women over 40.''
DESIGN DIRECTOR - Millie Cooper BEAUTY EDITOR - Fiona Eustace FASHION EDITOR - Annabel Kerman CONTRIBUTORS Dr Louise Wiseman Michelle Adams Sandie Fredriksson Charlotte Dorman Dr Jenna Macciochi Kate Tilson Michelle Langer Charisse Glenn Gillian McKeith Rhiannon Lambert Katie Pande Eleanor Tattersfield Lisa Dawson Lara Platman CONTACT US hello@thefrankmagazine.com International Distribution | FRANK Magazine FREE Subscriptions Worldwide | www.thefrankmagazine.com
Copyright Š 2020 The Frank Magazine. Nothing from this or any other publications of The FRANK Magazine may be reproduced by letterpress, photo-offset, photocopying, microfilm or any other method whatsoever without the express written consent of the publisher or of the holders of the copyright of the author in question.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF + THE PLANET
This publication has been compiled with the greatest care. However, the publishers do not in any way hold themselves liable for any errors that may have arisen. www.thefrankmagazine.com
@thefrank_mag
COVER
COVER
Artist Margo Mcdaid Girl with Stripped Hair
PhotographyAdrianGreen FashionEditorAnnabelKerman Hair and Makeup Helen Banon at Mandy Coakley using Nars and Paul Mitchell Model Louise Boyce at Milk Management Fashion Assistant Saskia Purr Photography assistant Jenny Green Hair and Makeup assistant Sijia Axford
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Product of the Month
L'ABU SKIN OAT MILK FACE CLEANSER Infused with Frangipani Rich Cream based cleanser removes makeup and daily grime, without irritating the skin, for a luminous finish. Suitable for all skin types
This is a rich cream-based cleanser, it contains the Japanese favourites of rice and oat milk, known for clarifying the skin. The carrier oils are rich, so that the skin retains its PH balance, promoting clear and toned results. Gently removes excess makeup and daily grime. Infuses for a deep luxurious cleanse leaving the skin soft and hydrated. Works to clarify for a luminous finish. Gently work into the skin with circular motion, wipe away or wash off with a walm flannel. Repeat this process if you wish to double cleanse.
www.labuskin.com www.thefrankmagazine.com
MOMONI at Fenwick Dress HAYLEY MENZIES at Edit Second Hand Cardigan SHOES ASOS
Cover Model Louise Boyce Mother of three, and model for over twenty years. Louise believes we must get better with age (otherwise what's the point). Beauty, fashion and confidence are all things she love's to talk about. Her kids are her world. How did you get into modelling?
I love being transformed into a better version of my usual self! But mainly I love the creative vision on a shoot and I’ve met some incredible people that I can call friends for life.
My mum’s friend planted the seed that I should give it a go when I was 14. She was a model in the 60s and saw potential in me. So one day I walked into an agency in London but sadly I was rejected Tell us about your instagram account, it is immediately. I was mortified. My mum took me to brilliant, how has it evolved from the start? a local cafe to talk it through and drown our sorrows over a Diet Coke - when a scout from Thank you so much! It all started in 2016 whilst on another agency spotted me and signed me up. It maternity leave with my middle child. At the time was a roller coaster ride of a day! my Instagram account was private - I think I had 65 followers who were all my own friends. I Whats have been your career highs? realised quite quickly that I needed to up my social media game simply to be booked as a model Travelling around the world shooting in some of on jobs. I was losing clients because I didn’t have the best hotels and beaches and experiencing these an Instagram account. So I made my private locations as a local and not a tourist (due to a account public and jumped headfirst into the great production team) will always be a huge world of social media in the hope it would help highlight for me. I loved the travelling which with my modelling work. My husband told me I doesn’t happen that much anymore. Client wise, I should start a blog, writing as a mother and a would have to say highlights are shooting with model. He knows I love to write and also my love Charlotte Tilbury, Max Faxtor and John Freida. for fashion and beauty would shine through - and Also now that I’m a mother, sometimes i shoot ‘Mama Still Got It’ was born. 4 years on I’m happy with my kids and I love this too. We just did the to say my plan so far has worked... I’ve managed Tesco Christmas campaign - Christmas card to secure modelling contracts that I didn’t think sorted! was possible. I’ve also met some incredible women, worked with brands I love and managed to help women with their makeup/beauty regimes/fashion What do you enjoy most about the choices as well as make people laugh. Laughter industry? was very much needed this year for us all... www.thefrankmagazine.com
“There are many brands using and healthy, it would be a dream to be a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing. I love to influencers with a ton of followers dance and would love to be taught how to dance the Tango wearing sequins. The show gives me but without any modelling goosebumps every week. I love it! experience - yet professional models without a following are at How do you unwind? home waiting for the phone to ring. About 2 nights a week I’ll have a long candle lit Hence my decision to get involved bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book. My knows not to disturb me and I really feel with social media... if you can’t husband I have some ‘me’ time. beat them join them!” How much time and thought goes into it? Honestly not much at all! When I think of an idea I usually shoot it there and then so I don’t forget it... they don’t take long to do.
Instagram followers are currency now for models, do you sometimes wish for the days when your face was just right for the job?
Did you enjoy the Frank shoot? Cocktail dress and wellies for you this Christmas? I LOVED the shoot with Frank. Thank you so much for having me! The clothes have been incredible. That pink ruffle dress was a dream to shoot... I sent a BTS shot to my husband and he replied saying ‘wow you must be loving this’. Yes indeed!
Yes and no. Admittedly having this ‘currency’ has opened more doors than I had anticipated but I also don’t like to be valued on the amount of people who follow you. It shouldn’t be about that. It should be about how well you model the clothes, how much product you sell and how you represent the brand. There are many brands using influencers with a ton of followers but without any modelling experience - yet professional models without a following are at home waiting for the phone to ring. Hence my decision to get involved with social media... if you can’t beat them join them.
Your lip-synch stuff is amazing. Have you done any acting? If no any desire to? Ha! Thank you. I’ve never done any acting - but I guess modelling is silent acting in a way...? I’d love to get into acting but maybe only if I can lip sync!
Have you any ambitions you would like to achieve? Apart from the obvious - my family being happy www.thefrankmagazine.com
“ It would be a dream to be a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing. I love to dance and would love to be taught how to dance the Tango wearing sequins.” @mamasstillgotit_
NEVER MISS AN ISSUE
Frank is for women who want to be informed, inspired, amused, look good and be healthy. thefrankmagazine www.thefrankmagazine.com
Whether a wish list for a partner, a treat for a loved one, or frankly if you just need some self indulgence to celebrate reaching the end of 2020, our lux gifts are bijoux enough to pop in a stocking or in the post, be it a budget, blow out, or a something in between kind of yule.
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Image Aspinal of London
FRANK’S Ultimate Stocking Filler GIFT GUIDE www.thefrankmagazine.com
Fashion Gifts By Annabel Kerman
JESSICA RUSSELL FLINT Silk eye mask £36. The British Designer creates only limited edition pieces, all hand illustrated, across home, fashion and sleepwear.
AGNELLE at Farfetch Chloe leopard print gloves £125. Family owned Agnelle have been making gloves since 1937. This leopard print pair are silk lined, in calf skin: A forever purchase.
M&S Autograph Cashmere beanie hat £35 A luxury knit for pocket money prices. Grab this while you can.
OLIVER BONAS Check scarf £35. An on point slim check scarf in seasonal colours is an easy throw on.
SOPHIE BILLE BRAHE at Matches jewellery case £75. The Copenhagen based jewellery designer has created luxurious jewellery cases in eye candy colours. www.thefrankmagazine.com
MICHAEL KORS ‘LaLa’ faux fur slide sandal £65. Now that loungewear has moved to ‘essential’ on all our wish lists these fluffy slides are a no brainer.
ALIGHIERI ‘L’Aura Chapter ii’ choker £700. The East London sustainable brand created by Rosh Mahtani is set for world domination with its exquisite modern heirloom pieces inspired by Dante Alighieri’s ‘Divine Comedy’.
HOTLIPS BY SOLANGE Glitter gold hot lips ring £185. This limited edition colourway of the iconic lips ring in sterling silver and lacquer lands mid December.
GUCCI at Net-aporter ‘G Timeless’ watch £850. Made from stainless steel and PVD plated metal, and powered by a Swiss made quartz movement, this comes in a presentation box for extra special gifting.
ASPINAL OF LONDON Micro ‘Hat Box’ bag in evergreen patent croc £276.50. A statement making miniature in Italian calf leather from the modern heritage luxury lifestyle brand. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Beauty Gifts By Fiona Eustace
SUQQU at Selfridges Holiday eyeshadow compact £65. The newest addition to the SUQQU family is this gorgeous eyeshadow palette. 8 sumptuous colours which will suit all eye colours. VIEVE Highlighter Riches £27. This new high performing makeup brand has been created by Makeup Pro Jamie Genevieve, 100% vegan and cruelty free. Versatile and beautifully bendable, You can wear it your way.
ROUGE G DE GURLAIN at Selfridges gem mirror case £25.50. Covered in gems and with a handy fold out mirror for touch ups on the go this gorgeous lipstick case will brighten up anyones day.
LOELLA COSMETICS Femme Fatale professional brush Collection £65. Created by a professional MUA this collection has everything you need to create any look. Loella brushes are vegan and cruelty free.
SOAK SUNDAY Rose Utopia Botanical Bath Soak £14. With lavender and red rose petals to help relaxation and sage to clarify the mind, your whole bathroom will smell divine. So many to choose from you will find it hard to find a favourite. www.thefrankmagazine.com
ClE DE PEAU BEAUTE at Harrods The Foundation £250. Luxury with a capital L. This beautiful foundation is exquisite in texture and finish and comes in the most sensational diamond container.
TRINNY LONDON T-Tones on Tour Gift Set £79 Perfect for anyone who likes to do makeup quickly and know that you can trust it to stay in place. Trinny London products are incredible for a more mature skin.
DERMAFLASH LUXE at Feel Unique £103.95. A fantastic device that helps remove dead skin cells and is also fantastic for removing unwanted peach fuzz.
CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN at Cult Beauty £39.50 Inspired by the “Ballerina Ultima” , the tallest heel ever created. Comes in 5 gorgeous matte shades of red.
YOGHANDA Aromatherapy oils set £106.99. This glorious set means you can start the day with any one of their gorgeous shower oils or roller balls to use on the go, depending on your need, calm, energise or balance.
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Homeware Gifts By Lisa Dawson
LOLA ROSE Treasure box set £54. These beautiful malachite boxes are perfect for storing special things.
POODLE & BLONDE Money tree cushion. £105. Fringing and curves - what more is there to love?
POPPIE SNOW Leopard Jug, £55. This leopard jug looks just a good on the shelf as it does on your dining table. www.thefrankmagazine.com
HOMEPLACE Ceramic leopard print coasters £23. These ceramic coasters are a subtle nod to the ever present leopard print trend.
WA GREEN Poodle candle holder £150. A quirky candle holder will create a statement centre piece for your Christmas table.
MARGAUX HOME Maison Dupre Match Strike £26. Light your candles in style with this French retro bar match strike.
ERDEM throw £980 This gorgeous wool and cashmere blend throw is perfect for cosy nights around the fire.
DAVID SHRIGLEY at Jealous Gallery. A David Shrigley print is an excellent gift for an art lover and easy to pop in the post.
POLKRA x KATIE SCOTT candle £40 These candles not only have a beautiful scent but the gorgeous jar can be reused.
HUH STORE Hay candle £25 Twisted candles in pastel tones add seasonal colour to your table.
STOCKISTS alighieri.co.uk anissakermiche.com aspinaloflondon.com cultbeauty.co.uk farfetch.com feelunique.com harrods.com homeplace.co.uk huhstore.com hotlipsbysolange.co.uk jealousgallery.com jessicarussellflint.co.uk loellacosmetics.com lolarose.co.uk marksandspencer.com matchesfashion.com margauxhome.co.uk michaelkors.co.uk erdem.com net-a-porter.comoliverbonas.com polkra.com poodleandblonde.com poppiesnow.com soaksunday.com trinnylondon. com vieve.co.uk wagreen.co.uk yogandha.com
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FRANK FASHION In this month’s fashion we dance like no-one’s watching in our celebratory ‘It’s My Party’ story. Plus we lust after luxe knitwear to snuggle in during the festive season in ‘baby it’s cold outside,’ and classic checks that will see us through winter and beyond in ‘Check out’.
W I N T E R
F A S H I O N
BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE Choose luxe autumn hued knitwear for country walks and beyond this holiday
Fendi 2020 Ready-to-wear Photographer: Alessandro Lucioni Model: Valeria Buldini
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By Saskia Purr
FROM TOP LEFT 1. CONNOLLY at Matches Fashion block-colour rib £730 (matchesfashion. com) 2. BALLANTYNE at Farfetch argyle turtleneck £256 (farfetch.com) 3. M&S hound tooth print £25 (marksandspencer.com) 4. MADELEINE THOMPSON puff shoulder £340 (madeleine-thompson. com)
5. VICTORIA BECKHAM at Zalando geometric crewneck £369.99 (zalando. com) 6. ZARA ream cable knit £29.99 (zara.com) 7. GUCCI at net a porter burgundy mohair £1,050 (net-a-porter.com) 8. TOPSHOP crochet collar £39.99 (topshop.com) 9. CHLOE at Net-a-porter cashmere blend turtleneck £1,130 ( net-a-porter. com)
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IT'S MY PARTY
DRESSING UP DOESN'T NEED A CROWD Photography Adrian Green Fashion Editor Annabel Kerman
MILLIA LONDON Dress NILI LOTAN at Matchesfashion Jumper
MOMONI at Fenwick Dress HAYLEY MENZIES at Edit Second Hand Cardigan SHOES ASOS
MM6 MARTIN MARGIELA at Fenwick Blouse RACHEL ZOE Trousers VICTORIA PERCIVAL Earrings
NEEDLE AND THREAD at Zalando Dress AMANDA WAKELEY Cape GRENSON Boots SOCK SHOP Socks VINTAGE Headdress
ANNA MASON Dress GIANVITO ROSSI at Edit Second Hand Shoes
MILLIA Dress MAJE at Edit Second Hand Coat HUNTER Boots LOEL&CO Earrings
Previous page RESUME COPENHAGEN at Studio B Blouse and Trousers AMANDA WAKELEY Cardigan GIANVITO ROSSI at Edit Secondhand Shoes VICTORIA PERCIVAL Headband
Hair and Makeup Helen Banon at Mandy Coakley using Nars and Paul Mitchell Model Louise Boyce at Milk Management Fashion Assistant Saskia Purr Photography assistant Jenny Green Hair and Makeup assistant Sijia Axford
STOCKISTS amandawakeley.com annamasonlondon.co.uk editsecondhand.com fenwick.co.uk grenson.com hunterboots.com loel.co.uk matchesfashion.com millialondon.com shoprachelzoe.com studiobfashion.com victoriapercival.com zalando.co.uk
W I N T E R
F A S H I O N
Check Out Checks being a relatively easy print to wear makes them a perfect candidate for fall dressing. Fall 2020 runways showed checks in a variety of enlarged prints and matching checked suits.
WEEKEND MAX MARA Large Tartan Pasticcino Clutch Bag £410
HERNO Fox Fur-Trim Quilted Layer Coat £880.20
CLAUDIE PIERLOT Fringed Tartan Scarf £120
DKNY Fierce Chills checked fleece pajama set £48
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BRUNELLO CUCINELLI Silk Check Skirt £1,690
VICTORIA BECKHAM Check Funnel-Neck Sweater £295
Miu Miu
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F R A N K
I N T E R V I E W
Time to Wyse Up! From a handful of cashmere sweaters to a collection which includes sequin skirts, denim and of course an array of joy-giving knitwear, the celeb’s favourite label Wyse London is ever-growing and expanding. Here we chat to creator and founder of the luxury fashion brand Marielle Wyse: Interview by Melanie Sykes
You talk of the duality of your identity being We worked on a style segment for a TV show called 'Afternoon Live' many many moons ago, French and English and how this influences your designs, tell us more about that? you as a producer and me as a presenter. You have always had that ability to put an outfit My mum is French .. she is from Angers which in the Loire together which was very much part of what we Valley. She made all her own clothes and knitted like were doing. When and why did did you leave the crazy. She encouraged me to sew. From a young age I started making my own clothes and loved nothing more television world behind? I remember it well .. it was fun. I went on to make Natural History documentaries which was the most fab job. I had to stop when I had my second child as there was too much travelling and I couldn’t be away with two young children. That was in 2006. I was sad to stop but decisions had to be made.
Love your style! When and how did Wyse London begin? After about 8 years of being a full time Mum, I helped a friend out with her accessories business. She kept saying to me you’ve got great ideas why don’t you do your own thing? What do you want to do? I said I can never find the perfect cashmere jumper with the right details at the right price. Thats when I decided to design my own!
What was your first design? We are just doing it again. It’s very simple. It’s called the Juliet star. A simple piece with a metallic leather star patch, in cool colour combos. It's such an easy wear. Still going five years on!
than going to a fabric shop, followed by a haberdashery and then attacking the sewing machine. I think she taught me true style is not about money or age. It's about how you put things together. Fashions come and go, style remains. A sort of less is more with a twist approach. She always looked incredibly stylish…
“I like to think I have a feeling for what is good for the business... but actually I make loads of mistakes. The important thing is not to make the same mistake twice.”
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“Fashions come and go.. style remains.�
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Are you from a creative background? I can’t draw very well but apparently I take comfort that other designers are like that. But I can visualise. I think in shapes and colours.I often wake up in the middle of the night and think ‘wow that would be great with a stripe.. or a scallop .. or a lurex thread’…I love detail!
How is it wearing the two hats of being creative and handling a growing business? A very very good question. My dad ran his own business and my mum was creative. I like to think I have a feeling for what is good for the business.. but actually I make loads of mistakes. The important thing is not to make the same mistake twice. It would also be true to say you get more experience at running a business. You get to understand, by your mistakes, that a good sound structure is vital especially if you intend to grow.
Who are your team? We are a team of just under 20 people and are growing .. which is so fantastic. A very hardworking, fashion led, smart bunch of women.. but we do have an honorary male commercial director!
“The one thing I do prioritise is exercise. I have a personal trainer by zoom three times a week. It’s one indulgence and she makes me do strength training. Being physically strong makes me mentally strong.” www.thefrankmagazine.com
How do you structure your days ? Instagram takes up a lot of my time.. I am constantly speaking to the customer which has been crucial for getting to know the customer better. Answering questions and responding to feedback.. Then designing and working with my design team. Lots of zoom calls about launches and future plans. I can’t tell you how important the ‘lives’ have been. They are a game changer. I hold things up and ask if the customer likes them. They say yes or no. it’s as simple as that. Sometimes it turns into a debate.. or we talk about a tv programme where they wore that style. It’s a combination of a design collaboration and a bit of a laugh. It's such fun but it's also brilliant for understanding what the customer wants and responding to that. To be honest most days are pretty full on. We are not walking we are running!
Which other brands are you a fan of? I don’t really need to buy from anyone else. I buy very little in fact. Actually I have just bought a Barbour for walking the dog! I like nice footwear. I buy trainers mainly from Veja or Nike. I also like the brand BA&SH as they understand women’s shapes well.
The scolloped dungarees are genius and so simple.When did that come to you? I have some scallop pillowcases and one day I was looking at them and wondering what garment they could work on. I was planning on doing dungarees and then wondered what would they look at on them, then hey presto!
How do you manage your commitments and make time for yourself ? To be honest not much. It’s very very full on but growing a brand was always going to be but I love it.The one thing I do prioritise is exercise. I have a personal trainer by zoom three times a week. It’s one indulgence and she makes me do strength training. Being physically strong makes me mentally strong. Without it I would find the whole thing impossible.
www.wyselondon.co.uk www.thefrankmagazine.com
F A S H I O N
G I V E A W A Y
Wyse London Giveaway
WIN!.. Meile Chunky Cardigan in navy. Watch out for our Instagram posts in December to enter.
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F A S H I O N
G I V E A W A Y
Eco-Luxury LOUNGEWEAR Established in 2017, Fox & Taylor is an eco-luxury loungewear label founded by Michelle Buttery. Since 2000 Michelle has designed and led design teams in London, Paris, Sydney, Melbourne, Hong Kong, Vietnam and Indonesia, designing for some of the world’s leading lingerie brands. Throughout her career Michelle has delivered successful lingerie, lounge and sportswear products - all characterised by her balance of fabric knowledge; garment fit and function; her understanding of the feminine form and her attention to finer details.
FOX & TAYLOR ’s mission is to be as eco conscious as possible throughout all of its processes, and to constantly adapt seasonal collections to mirror the ever-changing environment we are living in. The collections will always offer multi-functionality and can be worn to sleep, lounge or socialise depending on the wearer's mood and occasion. All pieces are flattering with a premium look and ultra-soft hand feel, in styles that can be worn season after season. A pound of each sale will be donated to the UK-based mental health charity MIND ORGANIC COTTON MORNING MANTRA SLEEP-T The ultra-soft organic cotton sleep-t is cut at the most flattering part of your hip, and the sleeves cut just above the elbow offering warmth for those winter months. The sleep-t can be worn tucked in or out and the sleeves left down or rolled up depending on the look you aim to achieve. The sleep-t has our morning mantra “TRUST. BREATH. BELIEVE.RECEIVE” on the front,repeat this to yourself whilst in the shower or sipping on your morning coffee, and we hope it will help to set you up for a positive day. THE PRINTEDVEGAN SILKWIDE LEG SERENITY PJ PANT This high waisted PJ pant has a flat paneled front waist and elasticated back, making it one of the most elegant yet comfortable pieces. The wide cut long leg in silky soft luxurious vegan silk will make you feel fantastic.We chose the sumptuous toffee and treacle large scale animal print with all skin tones in mind.
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WIN!.. The cosy lounge set "Will I see your face again'' Watch out for our Instagram posts in December to enter. The cosy lounge pant has pockets, are flattering around the The cosy lounge jumper with ultra-deep raglan sleeves waist and a great shape on the leg. The hem is elasticated kisses your hips and elegantly bags over the rib hem when with the right amount of gather that allows the style to be worn.The fabric is a luxurious blend of 47% organic cotton, easily dressed up or down depending on the occasion and 47% LENZING modal and 6% elastin, providing the wearer's mood. wearer with a super soft premium hand feel,while the inside is beautifully brushed and extra cosy against your skin. The front waistband has decorative dusk bronze eyelets and LENZING fibers are derived from certified renewable wood the gross grain drawstring is tipped with the same.The pant sources using an eco-responsible production process looks great with trainers,vintage style heels,sliders or flats. meeting high environmental standards which goes hand in Comfortable, flattering and versatile. The jumper and hand with our ethos. lounge pant are sold separately and come in a matching The lounge jumper has a fun and super stylish placement printed bag as a gift to you, to be reused again and again. print on the front, and as well as looking stunning worn as the lounge set can pair back perfectly with some of your favorite wardrobe staples.
foxandtaylor.co
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F R A N K
L O V E S
Pink Drink Firming Resurfacing Essence Peptides help firm the skin, while fermented honey and botanical extracts balance the skin’s natural microbiome and resurface the skin. A power drink for your skin, this peptide-infused essence resurfaces, balances, and firms the look of your skin (while drenching it in advanced green tea, antioxidant support). Fermented honey, pink yeast filtrate, chlorella, and kelp act as prebiotics to support and balance the skin’s natural microbiome. Two skinfirming peptides, Acetyl Tetrapeptide-9 and Acetyl Tetrapeptide-11 work synergistically to create a firmer-looking, younger-looking skin surface. Vitamin-rich apricot and cucumber extracts refresh the skin, while EGCG (a super-powered antioxidant from green tea) fights future signs of skin aging. Finally, ceramides nurture the natural moisture barrier, so your skin is left renewed and soft. Cruelty-Free, Sulfate-Free, Paraben-Free, GlutenFree, Soy-Free, Phthalate-Free, Fragrance-Free.
sundayriley.com As a first step in your treatment routine, apply to dry skin, after cleansing. Can be misted directly on the face or sprayed into the palm of the hand and patted onto skin. Can be used morning and night, before serums, oils, and moisturizer.
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FRANK BEAUTY
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E D I T
Sparkle at Christmas By Beauty Editor Fiona Eustace @fionaeustace
Add some sparkle and glitter to your makeup this Christmas. I know it won’t be the same. We won’t be able to celebrate with friends and as many family members as we would like BUT we can still feel amazing. Simply and quickly add some of that extra Christmas cheer with my favourite products. Have fun and sparkle. 1. Trinny London Eyetallics £22 www.trinnylondon.com These wonderful cream based shadows are so simple to use. Use your fingertips to sweep the colour over your eyelid creating a beautiful base colour. They come in four delicious colours. 2. Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner Trio £25.20 www.urbandecay.co.uk Simple to use and you won’t get any glitter dropping down onto your face. 3. Hourglass Ambient metallic strobe lighting palette £61 www.hourglasscosmetics.co.uk I am a massive fan of using a cream highlighter but Hourglass have the only powder highlighter that I love to use. This cult favourite returns. Use one or layer them up to create a customisable glow. 4. Charlotte Tilbury Jewel Lips £22 www.charlottetilbury.com If you don’t have the time to add some pizzazz to your eyes or face this Christmas then why not pucker up and use this glorious Jewel lip gloss from Charlotte Tilbury. Subtle shades with a high shine that will bring some serious light to your lips. Pass me the mistletoe baby. 5. 111Skin Celestial Black Diamond Eye Mask £75 www.111skin.co.uk If glitter and sparkle really isn’t your thing then what about these gorgeous Black Diamond eye patches. Pop them in the fridge and place them under your eye the morning after. The cooling gel will make you feel and look refreshed.
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E D I T
Festive Hair
By Beauty Editor Fiona Eustace @fionaeustace
Let's gets festive with hair. It need not be a time consuming to look spectacular. Just add some curls, a soft bend or even just add a headband to make a statement. Here are some beautiful styles that you can create in the morning before tackling that mountain of veg! 1. What better way to step up the glamour than to add a gorgeous hair piece. My favourite are by Victoria Percival. Victoria Percival www.victoriapercival.com The easiest way to add some sparkle is to add a hairband or some gorgeous slides. Style your hair as normal and pop on a statement piece of hair jewellery and you will feel a million dollars. 2. To style your hair and for adding some waves use the GHD curve (www.ghdhair.com £109). Spray some heat protector onto dry hair. I love using the Bumble and Bumble invisible oil heat protective primer (www.bumbleandbumble.co.uk £24) I don’t spend time sectioning my hair properly. You can literally grab the front section of your hair and tong. Don’t pull your fingers through your hair whilst it is hot, leave it to cool. Whilst this section is cooling, go to the other side and repeat. Continue doing this by grabbing sections and placing the tong into the middle of each section and twist
hair around the wand once and leave for a few seconds.This will give you a soft bend.Once hair is cool run fingers through to break up the sections. 3. I always add volume at the sides with a Living Proof Volume blast. www.livingproof.co.uk 4.I have very fine hair and this gives me instant va va voom. Just lift the hair and spray at the roots.Add some serum to the ends if you feel it needs some shine or leave it looking matt. I love Champo weightless hair oil for this. www. champohaircare.com £22 5.If you’re looking for something a little more and want to make a bigger impact then this is the look for you. I love big curly hair and this style does take a bit more time but it’s easy to do and the best tool to do this is the Chopstick styler. chopstick cheeky styler £37.49 fantastic.com The thin barrel gives soft bouncy yet tight curls that last for days. Start with dry hair parted in a middle and use the heat protector. Curl in sections. The smaller the sections, the more curls you will have which means more bounce. Once cool, take your fingers or a wide tooth comb and break up all the curls. Flip the hair into a side parting which adds extra volume on top. On the other side put in some sparkly slides and you are ready to rock.
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B E A U T Y
I N T E R V I E W
INSPIRED BY ADRIATIC BLISS Sanela Lazic
For luxury brand guru , Saint Iris is a dream fulfilled. Saint Iris is a tribute to Sanela’s Croatian heritage and the blissful spirit of wellbeing that comes naturally from the region’s thermal spas, snow-capped mountains and wild spaces. It's a brand for timestressed bodies who share her passion for self care rituals, wholesome and active lifestyle.
Sanela Lazic
Sanela has taken the most potent, clinically proven natural ingredients from the traditional folk remedies she grew up with to power formulas that strengthen body and mind against city stress. The soul of each product is fjaka, the essential ingredient to a balanced Adriatic way of life. Call it mindfulness in action or simply a state of bliss, fjaka comes naturally from living in the now and loving the feeling. With its sensual textures and uplifting, natural scent, Saint Iris delivers the bliss whenever and wherever you need it. Follow your fjaka with Saint Iris. www.thefrankmagazine.com
How did you get your start in the skincare industry? I worked as a creative force behind many well-known brands and retailers and dedicated all my time to clients, and travelling relentlessly with my work. Worn out by it, I decided to take the reins and go back to my roots. The Balkan term “fjaka” is unique to the Adriatic coast and describes a blissful state of feeling relaxed, yet energised and powerfully alive - and skin rituals play a big part in that.
What was the motivation for you to cultivate a brand that reflected the values of “clean, ethical, and inclusive beauty”?
It’s the Croatian way, so to a point it felt instinctive. The merger of apothecary and natural remedies, seasonal Mediterranean food and thermal spa rituals - these have always existed in the Adriatic region. Also I’m inspired how they support a smaller and kinder society - my mother knows who makes the honey she buys, when mushrooms are ready to be picked, and how to reduce I knew I wanted to create a brand focused on modern body inflammations with plant dressings. It’s wholesome and lifestyle stressors. I reflected on the importance of mind and soulful, perhaps it seems escapist -however the innovation we body balance, the years spent researching what brings people poured into Saint Iris is about recognising what suits all skin joy, confidence and empowerment. types, ages and lifestyles -and then do that well, naturally. But also and how my own skin is a ‘mirror’ of my wellness prognosis. So in September 2018 I launched SAINT IRIS smart whole-body skincare for people who crave pure skin wellness.
What are the areas of concern most prominent in the beauty industry?
I believe more could be done to recognise age disconnect in some areas of beauty, it’s somewhat behind the recent Why did you want to work with skincare positive headways made in other sectors. I think beauty products? industry could and should be an authority in an ageless mindset, and I appreciate everything Frank magazine is Self care and skin care are two most personal ways to connect doing to make it a level playfield. After all, feeling healthy - in with self - in Adriatic region we have a saying that once you mind, body and skin - is timeless and most beautiful. take care of (your)self, you can give back to the world and take care of others. This is particularly true when it comes to Secondly, the green washing and overuse of term ‘clean’ body - it’s our powerhouse, and skin is our largest organ - it’s initially the term was used in a positive way, however as the all connected, so it made sense to start there. movement gained momentum, and many capitalised on ‘clean’ in their marketing, naturally the questions are being From an innovation point of view, skincare - and even more asked. so green beauty - is incredibly dynamic and it’s an area where a high concentration of green technology development is On a positive, green beauty has had a massive impact on happening – and that is a great place to be. beauty and it’s changing the industry – for example unethical practices are being phased out, the beauty industry is looking How did Saint Iris come about? to smarter and greener ingredients, the sustainability innovation in packaging and operational running of larger I’ve always been fascinated how personal transformations corporations is improving exponentially – but also global inspire and build confidence, and bring people together. circumstances are impacting on the beauty industry. There are not many sectors that are as personal as skin / personal care, and I felt that often The pandemic has put clean (in the antibacterial context) “care” was missing from that relationship. under the spotlight so it is my view that we are headed to more of a lab-based green beauty which is actually where Beauty is exceptionally emotional, so Saint Iris had to be Saint Iris sits. about the narrative and people’s lives - I shaped the brand through focus groups and talking to people, they are a Our actives are extracted from natural ingredients and then critical part of this story. Saint Iris may have started in the improved in laboratories to increase consistency (from batch to batch) and formula efficacy – without putting a strain on Adriatic region - the cradle of natural apothecary - but its destination is in our innate desire to help each other.
our precious nature reserves.
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''On a positive, green beauty has had a massive impact on beauty and it’s changing the industry – for example unethical practices are being phased out, the beauty industry is looking to smarter and greener ingredients, the sustainability innovation in packaging and operational running of larger corporations is improving exponentially – but also global circumstances are impacting on the beauty industry''
What the Saint Iris journey has taught me is to be brave and just start. Not one person has all the answers, and by being passionate about what you do, you can find the way. It may take longer, as every discovery is a story of Saint Iris is about ‘empowering beauty with a sunshine soul’, and this permeates everything we do. It all connects failures and adventures - but that’s the point. If it were easy, there would be little innovation in this world. back to fjaka, as once we take care of ourselves (by practicing what brings us joy and using products that I have to acknowledge many honours received from the focus on body as our powerhouse), then we’re ready to beauty experts, winning numerous awards including the give back to the world and take care of others too. Best New Product of the Year 2019 to running many events where we pampered our guests. Also, when beauty I think it’s a unique place we sit as a brand, our queens Trinny Woodall and Lisa Eldridge take notice of multitasking range is designed for modern life and your product and it sells out then you know you have betterment of skin wellness - yet Saint Iris is more than skin deep, our goal is to help people feel powerfully alive. created something special.
What sets Saint Iris apart from the other skincare brands?
FRANK's Favorites What do you feel are your greatest achievements? Like many business owners I’m constantly striving forward, and yet there have been so many high moments that put a smile on my face. Firstly, starting a skincare brand meant I was diving head first into an unknown, a new venture just as I stepped into my 40s - and at a time of my life when I already had an established career. The most rewarding part has been in developing and verifying my ideas with customers, but also by utilising every learning my previous career gave me - we ought to value more the knowledge we acquire throughout our lives, and not let imposter syndrome fuel our doubts. www.thefrankmagazine.com
''Sustainability runs through everything we stand for and do. Saint Iris is a multi-tasking ‘slower-beauty’ brand - our capsule collection is effective skincare for body and face with a feel good - meaning self care should be about fewer but better quality products and less waste. ''
also it helps me visualise my goals and aspirations. The work then tends to consume my day, running an independent brand means being very hands on - from operational to marketing to creative tasks and new ideas generation, it’s intense yet invigorating. The lockdown has provided an unexpected respite moment however, I’ve enjoyed stopping for a cooked lunch break with my partner - one positive from working from home is a chance to enjoy good food.
How important is sustainability for Saint Iris and what kind of sustainable business strategies are you implementing?
At around 7/8pm I tend to wind down with last few emails to collaborators and suppliers, acknowledge an achievement or learning, before taking a walk by the river or curling up on sofa with a mandatory few scrolls on Instagram.
Sustainability runs through everything we stand for and do. Saint Iris is a multi-tasking ‘slower-beauty’ brand our capsule collection is effective skincare for body and face with a feel good - meaning self care should be about fewer but better quality products and less waste.
Normally, I would be spending much of my time visiting our stockists, planning and running customer events, which I deeply miss and look forward to restarting as soon as possible.
Our products are consciously crafted in small batches locally in the UK, we are cruelty-free accredited and we use ingredients sourced from responsible European suppliers with Eco certifications and high sustainability and socially responsible employment standards. A number of our ingredients are by-products of the food industry in the UK, Italy and Croatia, with key suppliers providing wildlife habitats for local and migrating species. Our product packaging is part of our sustainable pledge: easily recyclable, locally sourced components and outer packaging that is from traceable FSC stock and is biodegradable. We also support the Healthy Seas organisation in their cleaning of the Adriatic Sea (the source of some of our ingredients) and removal of fishnets which are repurposed into clothing and other manufactured goods.
What is in store for the future? This year has demanded us to rethink everything we planned for 2020 - as has everyone. After the initial shock of our stockists closing their stores, we experienced a huge online interest in our brand and products as people stayed at home and devoted their free time to pampering. I’ve often said that bathroom is a wonderful place to self distance, and as we lost physical contact with loved ones I am delighted that many retreated to bathrooms to reconnect with themselves, read or listen podcasts and enjoy products that bring them respite from the stressful situation. Nonetheless, recent events have inspired me to consider a holistic Saint Iris experience, and we will be exploring new concepts and products that will give our customers an opportunity to immerse themselves in Adriatic bliss.
Finally, happiness is… Describe a typical day for you?
Loved ones, delicious food, laughter - all preferably with Adriatic Coast landscape as the backdrop!
My routine has changed dramatically since Covid pandemic started earlier this year. I kick off my day with a grounding pause, whilst overlooking the Thames from my window - being close to water gives me the energy, it’s down to the Blue Mind science as it induces a meditative state that makes us happier, healthier, and calmer - but
To learn more about Saint Iris, click the link below….
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B E A U T Y
C A R E
SUSTAINABLE BEAUTY ODACITE 552M ARGAN & COCONUT SOAP FREE SHAMPOO BAR
552 MILLION plastic shampoo bottles end up in landfills every year. Formulated to care for both hair and environment, 552M delivers professional-quality results, sans le plastic bottle. The rich restorative lather is derived from Coconut Oil, and has the ability to improve hair texture whether thin, straight, curly, frizzy, thick, or color-treated. Cupuaรงu Butter nourishes the hair with the perfect amount of moisture. Argan & Castor Oil wrap each strand to seal in moisture. Soap-free formula for comfort and purity of the scalp. 552M will leave your hair restored and manageable, full of volume and silky-soft. ONE 552M SHAMPOO BAR = 3 PLASTIC BOTTLES ONE 552M SHAMPOO BAR = 60-80 WASHES ONE 552M SHAMPOO BAR = HOPE FOR OUR PLANET Purpose: All the perks of your high-quality shampoo - sans le plastic pollution. Results: Deeply restored and manageable, full of volume, silky-soft hair. Hair Types: Thin, Straight, Curly, Frizzy, Thick, or Color-treated www.odacite.com
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R E A D E R
O F F E R
Exclusive FRANK Reader Offer
use our code NEWA028 www.newabeauty.co.uk www.thefrankmagazine.com
B E A U T Y
S C R U B
MONPURE Clarifying Scalp Scrub ''When was the last time you gave your scalp a good going-over? While you might exfoliate other areas with gusto, your scalp tends to be the one left on the sidelines. But it’s probably the area that needs it the most. As with the skin on your face, your scalp has its fair share of dirt and debris. But with your hair covering it, it can easily build up causing irritation and inhibiting hair growth.Imbued with the relaxing scent of sweet orange and rosemary, our Clarifying Scalp Scrub exfoliates away dead skin and debris that cause irritation with biodegradable jojoba beads. It also improves the environment for hair growth with moisturising and healing shea butter as well as nourishing argan oil extract.The beads are non-abrasive, but sweep away debris with aplomb. For best results, apply it as part of a relaxing scalp massage (or get a willing partner to oblige). Free from parabens, sulphates and silicones.'' - MONPURE
www.monpure.com
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B E A U T Y
G I V E A W A Y
Ultimate Gradual Tan AMANDA HARRINGTON has been the key to hundreds of high-profile sunless tans over the past ten years.
Amanda Harrington
The brand is thrilled to be teaming up with editor-in-chief Melanie Sykes and Frank Magazine to offer one lucky reader the ultimate in sunless tanning at home – including the brand’s infamous glycolic skincare collection, to effortlessly prep, perfect and maintain glowing skin health. Amanda’s talents have become famous among those looking for a flawless sunless tan with an elevated finish. Jennifer Aniston, Gigi Hadid, Dua Lipa, Sienna Miller and Poppy Delevingne - to name but a few – have all come calling.She’s been at the beck and call of a long list of the A-List to ensure they’re red-carpet-ready and tanned to perfection.Whether it’s the Oscars, the Baftas or the Brits – Amanda has been an essential part of many legendary celebrity red carpet looks. With her brand – available online and across the UK at Harvey Nichols,Harrods and Space NK -Amanda has quite simply elevated tanning to an art form. Starting her career as a body artist, sculpting and transforming bodies by painting and contouring skin on film sets and editorial photo shoots,she’s stepped out of the shadows with this epic brand. When experimenting with airbrush tans, she found she couldn’t get the level of control and precision she could with a brush; the tool she was most comfortable with, and so Amanda began mixing her own blend of tints and creams (very much like custom-blend foundations) for clients and used brushes to apply them. Why brushes? Because she preferred how they can be used to brush and buff colour directly onto the skin, allowing her to enhance the bone structure for a sculpted, natural and seamless finish. Her expert eye knows where to paint the colour so that it lifts,awakens and defines the physical form. It soon became apparent that her unique technique,artistry background and expertise was the perfect combination to develop a completely customisable method of bronzing the body, with a colour that is personalised to your skin tone and applied with luxurious brushes to achieve a flawless tan and a defined physique.The result of this labour of love is her now-trademarked Bespoke Body Contouring Technique™ a natural, sculpting and long-lasting finish to the skin,
Perfect Body, £28 Perfect Face, £23
that transforms the face and body to its most beautiful. It is everything modern tanning should be. “Once described by my client as a real-life invisible veil, I love the boost in confidence that a tan gives someone,” explains Amanda.“By enhancing the body’s natural form, I can give the client a wonderful air of confidence and boost their inner self-belief. I call it the ‘Peacock Effect’. Self-tan really is a powerful tool.” Included in this prize are the Amanda Harrington London 3Step Face and Body sets, Glycolic Face Pads and Body Scrub. This special prize includes all the brand’s “award winners” and makes for the ultimate treat straight out of lockdown – after all, being at home doesn’t mean we need to let our winter glow slide. For more information log onto www.amandaharrington. com or follow AHL at @amandaharringtonlondon on Instagram.
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R E C O M M E N D A T I O N S
Beauty From Within Supplements to help you from the inside out Boosting skin, hair and nails with supplements are now considered a beauty must have now days, from powders, gummies to vitaminpacked capsules to help give you a lift from within, here are FRANK's favourites.
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Both Mangosteen and Hibiscus have been used since ancient times within the rainforest as a staple superfood amongst indigenous people.
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Designed to support gut health, collagen synthesis and beautiful skin, hair and nails from the inside out.
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True Collagen provides easily digestible, highly absorbable and clinically researched Type 1 hydrolysed collagen peptides. A real hero supplement for active lifestyles, fasting protocols and beauty rituals to effortlessly nourish the body and skin from within.
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True outer health and beauty stem from strong inner nutrition. Lumity Morning and Night Female is a comprehensive healthy ageing and immune support supplement that works from within to restore youthful efficiency at a cellular level.
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THE SUPER ELIXIR™ is a daily health supplement formulated using a combination of 40+ naturally derived ingredients, including wholefoods, herbal extracts, vitamins, minerals and probiotics. 1. Mangosteen and Hibiscus - Anima Mundi animamundiherbals.com 2. GLOW Inner Beauty Essential -The Beauty Chef thebeautychef.com 3. True Collagen Powder - Ancient & Brave ancientandbrave. earth
Formulated combining science and nature, each gummy contains less than 1% sugar and the highest quality beauty boosting ingredients including Biotin, Vitamin C, Aloe Vera extract & many more. 4. Morning & Night Female Supplements - Lumity lumitylife. co.uk 5. SUPER ELIXIR Greens - WelleCo www.welleco.co.uk 6. Hair, Skin & Nails Vitamin Gummies - Starpowa starpowa. com
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FRANK INTERVIEWS
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C O V E R
A R T I S T
Margo in Margate MARGO MCDAID loves to draw. She started a project in 2010, to draw a picture a day and to upload to her instagram account. Now 9 years later Margot works as a full time artist, here she speaks to FRANK about her beautiful work that we have fallen in love with. Hello Margo, we love your work. How did it all start and how did you arrive at such a signature style? I found myself aged 41 with two small children and wondering why I had never fulfilled my dream of being an artist. I went to art school from the age of 23-28. After art college I trained as a teacher with the intention of ‘getting back to my art’ once I was back on my feet. That took the best part of 20 years. I was painting with my son one day and decided to do at least one picture everyday to see where it would lead. I bought sketch books and started. I drew probably ten or twenty images a day. I then started posting on instagram and from that I developed a strong and bolder style. I met a large community of supportive people and it just grew from there.
Does creativity run in the family? My family have an incredible work ethic and just inspire me to work for my dreams. My sons are both really creative and their drawings are just amazingly funny and accurate. My husband also has a degree in fine art - he can always be relied upon for a random observation or quote from some obscure artist that I have never heard of.
“ I think art has become more important to humankind. We can surround ourselves with beautiful things that brings contentment and makes us feel good.” www.thefrankmagazine.com
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Where do you paint? What is your routine around painting if any? I was painting from home until very recently. I had a spare bedroom in our house so it was always convenient to find time to paint. This summer I found a large studio at the end of my street. I go there three or four times a week and usually do two very long days. Having the floor space to lay out my work is just so important as I can see relationships form between the colours and scale of my work.
What inspires you?
Tell us when you realised that you needed/ wanted to open the shop?
I absolutely love looking at vintage books especially children books, Judith Kerr is an absolute heroine of mine. I want to be sitting drawing at my desk a the age of 83. I love looking at the colours of the fashion section of the Sunday papers. I love the sea and walking along the coast in winter time and finding a washed up piece of sea plastic that might be the brightest pink or blue or yellow. I love the dull greyness of the winter here in Thanet as it makes you really appreciate colour so much more. The light by the coast is extraordinary. I love the sea and could not live anywhere else.
I have worked from home for the last 10 years and the business of making, painting and selling seeped into every corner of my home. I wanted to meet people and to showcase my work. It was not uncommon for people to visit me at home and I was literally pulling paintings out form underneath my bed and in the bottom of wardrobes. It was definitely time to get some proper workspace! I love putting the shop together and putting all my work on the walls. The shop is in Ramsgate and I have met so many amazing people who have come to visit Margate and Ramsgate and I feel so incredibly lucky to have this opportunity. It is a total dream!
“I create spaces in my home where there is always pencils, ink and watercolours. I have a sketch book in every bag or room and will always be doodling.� www.thefrankmagazine.com
How easy is painting something everyday? Making time to paint or draw everyday has become such a ritual.It is surprisingly easy now as I work full time as an artist. I will always make time to paint and to draw everyday even if it is just a 30 min sketch before I go to bed. I create spaces in my home where there is always pencils, ink and watercolours. I have a sketch book in every bag or room and will always be doodling. I have been working on some new watercolours recently and when I start a new series I find it really hard to stop. I will be sitting on the sofa just sketching. I realise now that the obsession and determination is probably not that normal - I can be obsessive.
Are all your pieces for sale? Do you ever keep anything back for you? I was very aware that when I started painting that I would have to sell them. I saw it as a way of making progress. The more I sold, the more I could make and the more I made then the more I would progress. I do however make pieces that I would never sell and I will keep those for my own creative pleasure - not because I feel they are my most accomplished pieces but because I have learnt something from them. I have a couple of very early paintings that remind me of a time of beginning and they feel very special. I have a little painting that reminds me of my niece and I love that. Some paintings become like a window to a different time or place and they are pieces I will always keep.
Who are the women in the paintings? At the very beginning I think most of them were me or people I knew. We tend to create what we know. I also think that we are obsessed with youth culture and I was subconsciously trying to capture a piece of my youthfulness. Now I think I see lots of different people. I love seeing someone in yellow flares and think oh that will make a great painting. I absolute love Margate for its vintage shops and I really love a vintage shirt!
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“I love that art becomes someones else’s memory and it begins a new journey.”
Your paintings hold so much grace, serenity and strength are these qualities you see in yourself?
Why do you think these images have ignited so much love? That is such a hard question and I wish I knew the answer! I think on many levels my paintings are so simple and colourful and relatable. I really love painting and drawing - it just makes me feel so connected to the world. I think sometimes that joy can be felt by others who look at my work. When I get messages from people who say that my work makes them smile everyday - that is just the best feeling. I think art has become more important to humankind. We can surround ourselves with beautiful things that brings contentment and makes us feel good.
No way - I don’t feel like that ! I wish I did - I feel more nervous, neurotic and anxious everyday. I would love to feel calm. I do however feel strong and there is definitely something powerful about reaching 50 and thinking what the hell ! I am going to go for it and just live my very best life. The whole fear of being ridiculous is largely controlled by a desire to get on with it and get stuff done. The ageing process for women can be an amazing realisation that you don’t have to hold yourself back and that you can be successful and be happy. I aspire to the grace and serenity in my paintings but I am just trying to do my best - all red faced and flustered.
“It was not uncommon for people to visit me at home and I was literally pulling paintings out form underneath my bed and in the bottom of wardrobes. It was definitely time to get some proper workspace!” www.thefrankmagazine.com
“The ageing process for women can be an amazing realisation that you don’t have to hold yourself back and that you can be successful and be happy.”
How does success feel to you? Are you bought around the world? Oh wow! This is a massive thing for me! My success has been unbelievable and I try not to think about it at all as it can be really overwhelming. I love what I do so much - it completely blows my mind that I can do this full time! I am always really busy and that keeps me from overthinking about what I am doing. I sell worldwide and that is just incredible - Japan, Argentina, Chile, Denmark, Sweden, France, Germany, Kuwait - so amazing. I love the addresses and add little notes to my customers when I send work around the world! “Hello Kentucky!” “Hello World"
Do you remember your first sale? How did it feel ? I remember my first show in Margate 4 years ago and Gorrilaz were playing their only European show in Dreamland. Margate was heaving - people were walking in the streets as the pavements were full. There was such an incredible amount of people in the town and everyone was in a party mood. I had a really young couple who had travelled to England from Argentina. They had travelled just to see the gig. They wanted to take a souvenir back with them and they bought a little framed collage. I felt really proud to be representing the town/country. I love that art becomes someones else’s memory and it begins a new journey. It made me really humble to think that it would have a whole new life!
What is your most exciting sale since then? I recently had a wonderful lady who messaged to say that she absolutely loved a large painting but would need to save up for it. I put the painting aside and at the end of six months, I posted it out. The lovely lady sent me the photo and it was just perfect! I love the connection I have with the people who buy my art.
@margoinmargate www.thefrankmagazine.com
F R A N K
I N T E R V I E W
Russell Norman
Interview by Melanie Sykes
Russell is a writer and broadcaster. His book POLPO - A Venetian Cookbook (of Sorts) is published by Bloomsbury and won Waterstones Book of the Year 2012. His second book SPUNTINO Comfort Food (New York Style) won the 2016 Guild of Food Writers Award for best food and travel book. Here he talks to Melanie about his passion for Venice ……
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Congratulations on another stunning book. Thank you! I’m so pleased you like it. It was a pleasure to research and write, a labour of love, and the realisation of an ambition I’ve had for a very long time: to live in Venice over the course of a full year and see the city like a resident rather than a tourist. I wanted to go to the markets every morning, buy ingredients that came from the local area and the islands of the lagoon, stick to the seasons, and to learn how to cook like a 90 year-old Venetian Nonna!
the 1990s and then a lot more when I was researching and running my Venetian restaurant chain Polpo. Ironically, for someone who has made his career in food, it was only around 2005 that I started to get interested in Venetian cooking, restaurants and wine bars.
How does its food differ from mainland Italy ? What is special about Venetian food?
Venice is an island, surrounded by the brackish waters of the Venetian lagoon, and the municipality includes the other islands of the lagoon too. It has a formidable history as the most dominant seafaring republic on the planet for Tell us about your passion for Venice, when was approximately twelve centuries leading up to its fall in it ignited and what pulls you back time and time 1797. So it’s no surprise that Venetian cooking centres around fish, seafood, crustacea and bivalves. Over the again? years, the practical demands of feeding sailors on long sea Well, my first trip to Venice was an accident. It was 1985 journeys, preserving food in the hot summer months, and following the seasons have all come together to create a and I was a student at Sunderland Polytechnic. Still a unique cuisine, unlike any of the other 19 Italian regions. teenager! I’d gone to France in the summer holidays to stay with my French girlfriend Katia in the Loire Valley. Venice had a reputation for aggressively taking whatever it wanted on its travels around the world, and it has stolen I screwed things up with her and was contemplating liberally when it comes to cooking too. Its most famous returning to the UK when I got a postcard from a friend dish - baccala mantecato - is actually Norwegian. There is who said “Come to Venice!” He was staying with his a lot of Austrian influence, too, after the long period of girlfriend in a tiny flat in the Giardini area of Castello. I occupation in the nineteenth century. Now, while I love got on a train in Paris and 12 hours later I was walking all of the traditional dishes like sarde in saor (sardines in down the steps of Santa Lucia train station in Venice looking for the bus stop. I’d received instructions to “get sweet and sour onions with pinenuts and raisins), fritto misto (fried squid, prawns and zucchini), bigoli in salsa the number one to Lido and get off at the Giardini”. I didn’t realise the buses were water buses. I was so clueless (fat spaghetti with anchovy and melted onion sauce), I didn’t even know that Venice was a city built in a lagoon spaghetti sepie (pasta with black ink) and fegato alla with no roads, no cars... What an idiot! My tiny mind was veneziana (calf’s liver with sautéd white onions), what I'm particularly fond of is cicheti. These are the Venetian blown and I spent the next hour on the vaporetto chugging along the Grand Canal with my jaw on the floor version of bar snacks (spelled cicchetti in the rest of Italy), and my eyes on stalks. So I ended up spending a month in served at the city’s wine bars (called bacari in Venetian) with a spritz or a small glass of wine, nearly always while Venice but it was so hot and so full of tourists that most standing. They can be thrilling flavours from the lagoon, days I went to Lido and sunbathed on the beaches and fresh from Rialto Market, or deeply tasty braised bitter swam in the Adriatic. When the days cooled, I’d vegetables from the island of Sant’Erasmo, or deep-fried occasionally stroll into the historic centre and stand soft-shell crabs, or creamed salt cod on toasted polenta. dumbstruck at the impossible beauty that surrounded me. One of the great things about Venice is that you don’t These little titbits are what get me really excited about need to do anything or go anywhere to get a total sense of Venetian food. the place. Venice is a work of art in itself. Walking around the six districts - all very different from each other - is so “I’ve never cooked professionally and rewarding and enriching that going inside the churches, I’ve never put on a chef’s jacket in a galleries, museums and palaces is like an optional extra. When I left that summer, I knew there was a lot of restaurant, but I cook constantly at home unfinished business between me and Venice and I vowed and test all my recipes on family, friends to return off-season to get a truer account of the place. Venice had completely gotten under my skin. Since that and anyone who passes through the first trip, I calculate I’ve been back around 150 times, door.” averaging 5 times a year at the height of my obsession in www.thefrankmagazine.com
Your books are so beautiful, how involved are you in the designs ?
recipes and the photography were the best that they could be. I was fortunate enough to have great collaborators, too. Jenny Zarins is a superlative photographer who was able to I love architecture and interior design and it was important capture Venice’s unique light. David Tanguy at Praline when I opened my first restaurant that I captured the Design Agency understood me when I said I wanted the essence of Venice in the raw brickwork, crumbling plaster, Polpo cookbook to look like a neglected Venetian building exposed structural beams and softer feature such as fabric - almost collapsing. He found a stunning ancient Venetian lighting and antique furniture. For my books I wanted typeface for the text, too.And for my most recent book, the exactly the same feeling of glorious decrepitude. So, yes, I late John Hamilton found some beautiful maps, endpapers was quite particular about how they looked and felt, as well and worked with me to create a softer look for a book that was essential about home cooking. as making sure the writing, the
“I love architecture and interior design and it was important when I opened my first restaurant that I captured the essence of Venice in the raw brickwork, crumbling plaster, exposed structural beams and softer feature such as fabric lighting and antique furniture.”
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“I’ve noticed a lot of tired old rural pubs are being taken over by ambitious ex-city dwellers who want a better standard of living, open spaces, clean air and are sick of (and unable to afford) the crippling rents that urban landlords demand.” Did the success of ‘Polpo' surprise you? How long was that in the making? Polpo was an idea I had on a trip to Venice in 2002. I was working at a Japanese restaurant in London called Zuma and I needed a break. I was stressed out and the restaurant was relentlessly busy so I took a flight on a whim for a four-day holiday. While I was relaxing at my favourite scruffy bar, Caffè Rosso on Campo Santa Margarita, the idea for a bar/bacaro/restaurant started to form, and I spend the next 36 hours madly collecting menus, artefacts, napkins, taking photos, filling up notebooks, sketching interiors. Over the next few years I added elements from my favourite New York places, too, and even started to compile playlists. The moment to launch
came just after the financial crash of 2008 when I quit my job as Operations Director of a large corporate restaurant group, stopped shaving, found a site in Soho and opened Polpo with my friend Richard - the guy I had stayed with on my first trip to Venice! I was 42 years old.
When did you first get into the food world? Once again, my introduction to the world of food was accidental. I got a bar job after college just to pay the rent. I was a “flare" bartender - you know, throwing bottles up in the air and flipping cocktail shakers behind my back. I was terrible. I broke so many glasses I was convinced they would fire me, but they were obviously desperate. From there, I got a job waiting tables at Joe Allen, which was the hottest restaurant in town throughout the 1990s. I tried to leave restaurants in ’95 when I went to UCL to do a post-graduate teaching qualification and became a teacher. I was Head of Drama at a girls’ school in Harrow for three years! But I was sucked back into the restaurant world. I’d like to say my interest in food started as a child, but I was one of six boys and we were banned from the kitchen by our germaphobe step-father, so I only started to cook (badly) as a student.
How do you feel the British food scene fares compared to other countries? I love the British food scene and have been completely wowed by the innovation, creativity and talent that has sprung up in recent years in every region I have had the good fortune to visit. The scene in Bristol is just wonderful. I love Brighton. The bigger cities like Manchester, Birmingham, Edinburgh and Leeds are full of exciting operators. Even smaller northern towns have innovators like Gary Usher who knock it out the park with every new opening. London was a hothouse for talent pre-Covid and I hope it recovers its mojo, but I’m worried that it may have been permanently affected. I live in Pluckley in Kent so I’m very interested in the food scene in my home county. The coastal town of Deal, Margate and Ramsgate are particularly interesting and I think we will see many more great places opening as artists and creatives migrate out of London.
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“I love the British food scene and have been completely wowed by the innovation, creativity and talent that has sprung up in recent years in every region I have had the good fortune to visit.”
Do you the think when we venture out of the cities of the UK it is more difficult to get a decent meal ? I think that was definitely the case ten years ago, but if you do your homework, it is now easier to find great places in every corner of the UK. They may be fewer and further between, but they are there. I’ve noticed a lot of tired old rural pubs are being taken over by ambitious ex-city dwellers who want a better standard of living, open spaces, clean air and are sick of (and unable to afford) the crippling rents that urban landlords demand. They have created local gems that are also destination restaurants loved by neighbours, critics, food tourists and travellers alike. But for every provincial beacon of good food, with charming service and a friendly welcome, there are twenty places that are stuck in the past and offer dire versions of the same old clichés.
How did your ‘Restaurant Man show’ come about? The Restaurant Man was commissioned very fast off the back of a chance meeting with the BBC’s Alison Kirkham. I met her at Polpo on a particularly busy night and she had an idea for a factual entertainment show about restaurants from a front-of-house and business perspective rather than from the chef’s viewpoint - an area already very well covered by Gordon Ramsay. I had a few brainstorms with the production company Twenty Twenty and we presented The Restaurant Man to Alison who loved it and commissioned it. It all happened in the space of two weeks. We filmed over the course of ten months and followed six first-timers who wanted to turn their dinner party dreams into restaurant realities. We were insistent that it didn’t become a “fix it” show where I was parachuted into a disaster zone two thirds through and then make everything right in the last 20 minutes. So in each episode the jeopardy was real, the stakes were incredibly high, and if the participants didn’t get it right, they could lose all their money. Of the six contributors, two failed and one lost her entire life savings. She ignored all of my advice and kept insisting that she didn’t need a business plan because she had faith in God. When I suggested that it is possible to have faith in God and have a business plan, she told me that if she failed, it was God’s will. So, I enjoyed making the show and I was very happy with the episodes as they were broadcast. We got great viewing figures, too. But I wish I’d been a bit more interventionist with some of them... www.thefrankmagazine.com
both innovators with astonishingly successful track records. But my biggest influence is Keith McNally, the restaurateur behind Balthazar, Pastis, Minetta Tavern and Schiller’s (RIP). Keith is a Londoner by birth but effectively created the downtown Manhattan restaurant scene through the 1980s and 90s. His places I found presenting second nature. I loved being in always have that magic je-ne-sais-quoi element that is front of the camera. Don’t forget, I was a drama impossible to identify or define but that coats teacher and I spent most of the 90s as maitre d’ at a everything with fairy dust and makes his restaurants theatreland restaurant in central London. I was used the only place to be, right at the moment that you’re to appearing in control, being authoritative and there. The designer who has influenced me the most is charming and making people look at me and listen to John McCormick, the genius behind Maison Premiere, me. I think it helps when you know your subject, and Moto, St Mazie and Smith & Mills, all in NYC. by the time I made the TV show I had opened a dozen restaurants, mostly for other people, so I knew what I was doing and I knew how to communicate You’ve said many times that you’re not a that skill set to others. It’s funny you mention the introvert/extrovert thing; I’ve had to work very hard chef, but you write recipes and cookbooks and you open restaurants. What do you like to at being a show-off!
What do you think of the filming dynamic? You have been front of house, so confidence cannot be an issue or is it, Introverted extravert maybe?
cook and what do you like to eat? What inspires you to write and create? What other foodie people do you admire and who has been your biggest influence?
You’re right, I’ve never cooked professionally and I’ve never put on a chef’s jacket in a restaurant, but I cook constantly at home and test all my recipes on family, friends and anyone who passes through the door. I Writing and creating come from within. Of course I love cooking and get a real kick out of the whole thing: get inspired by outside sources - cities, art, music, shopping for ingredients (or growing them), architecture, business, food - but when it comes to sharpening knives, chopping onions, peeling writing, I have a real need to express myself and the potatoes... There is nothing about the process that I best way I do that is through words. I have don’t enjoy, even the mundane stuff. My favourite thoroughly enjoyed writing the three cookbooks I’ve dish to make is risotto, without question. It’s like published over the last seven years and I’m incredibly meditation. There is a ritual that I have to go through proud of them and of their success. Creating a to start with - making the stock, finely dicing the business presented a different set of challenges, but soffritto, toasting the rice gently in butter or olive oil because I have always been the creative force behind (always vialone nano or carnaroli, never arborio), the restaurants, conceiving of them, designing them, adding the vermouth to get that amazing cloud of writing menus, buying the antiques, collecting the boozy steam. And then the 25 minutes of gentle care, details, importing entire ceilings from the States, love and affection that all risotto needs. It’s very sometimes building parts of them too, they still feel therapeutic, for me and the rice. When it comes to like part of me, and the result of a creative endeavour what I like to eat, I do have some guilty secrets, I’m as well as a commercial one. During the eleven years afraid. Ham, egg and chips from a country pub, a that I was involved in Polpo, we built and opened 15 thick bacon sandwich from a greasy spoon, Star Bars, restaurants in total, and I feel like there is an aspect salt & vinegar Discos... all betraying my working-class of me in all of them. In terms of people I admire, roots growing up in Hounslow. Having said that, when Jeremy King and Chris Corbin are peerless in the I’m in Venice I eat very well indeed. I’ve made some London restaurant world. I have never worked with wonderful friends among the food community of the them but admire their vision, their ground-breaking city, and if I’m lucky enough to eat at Alle Testiere, restaurants and their unwavering commitment. I’m Antiche Caramapane, Al Covo or Locanda Montin, lucky enough to count them as friends. I’m a big then I’ll be a very happy boy indeed. And for admirer of Nick Jones of Soho House and Robin breakfast & snacks I will always head to All’Arco near Hutson of the Pig Hotel Group, the Rialto fish market.
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“I wanted to go to the markets every morning, buy ingredients that came from the local area and the islands of the lagoon, stick to the seasons, and to learn how to cook like a 90 year-old Venetian Nonna!”
What brings you to Venice this trip? I’m writing two books about Venice back-to-back. The second will be an exploration of the islands of the lagoon, but the first, which is much more immediate for me, is about the snack culture of the city and the bars, cafes and sandwich shops that serve the residents as they go about their work and their day-to-day business. These snacks are well-known to any tourist who has done even a little research and are known as cicchetti. There are some famous cicchetti bars such as All’Arco and Cantinone gia Schiavi and some less well-known places off the beaten track. But I’m also here to research and catalogue the even humbler sandwich bars where local workers will get a tiny but delicious crusty porchetta panino with a small glass of wine for less than two Euros. I was at Bacaretto da Lele next to Piazzale Roma this morning, for example, and there was a queue of twenty people waiting patiently for their bargain snack. Being here allows me to follow tips from residents and find places I wouldn’t normally find, like the wooden-panelled wine bar near the train station specialising in very traditional Venetian snacks of tripe, cartilage and spleen. Delicious!
You also mentioned the Feast of Maria della Salute on Saturday. Yes, this is a beautiful and solemn annual thanksgiving to the Madonna who Venetians believe delivered the city from a terrible plague in 1630. The whole of Venice, and pilgrims from further afield, congregate on the church of Salute at the end of the Grand Canal, light a candle and say a prayer. But I’m particularly interested in the traditional dish of castradina which is served on the day of the festival and then never again for another year, until the following November 21st. It’s a very slowly cooked stew consisting of smoked and air-cured castrated lamb onions, celery, carrots,
potato and served with stewed green cabbage. I’ll be filming the process and delivering bowls of castradina to some friends and then discussing the tradition.
What do the Venetians think of you? As we have walked around today you seems to know so many of them and they all come to say hello to you... I’ve been coming to Venice for three and a half decades and I’ve made Venetian food my focus for the last 15, so they know why I’m here and they like the fact that I’m promoting the unique culinary heritage and flavours of Venice in an intelligent and meaningful way. So many of the day-trippers and unenlightened tourists who visit Venice have a slice of bad pizza and an ice cream and then go on their way. It’s a poor experience for them, gives Venice a bad reputation when it comes to food, and it’s terrible for the city, too. I promote sustainable tourism and my Venetian friends and colleagues know that I am striving for the same purpose as them. One of the greatest compliments I have ever received here was a couple of years ago, walking through the residential district of Castello, close to Arsenale. A stranger came up to me, introduced himself and told me that he was a professor of tourism at the Foscari University in Venice. He also told me he had been in the audience when I had given a lecture at The Royal Geographic Society in London that spring, entitled "The Food of Venice and its Lagoon.” He then mentioned that he taught sections of my lecture to his students. Compliments don’t come bigger than that. I suppose the main reason that I have such an easy and friendly relationship with Venice and Venetians is that they know I’m one of them. The original settlers were migrants, nomads, foreigners and travellers, all drawn to the magic of the lagoon, and I’m no different.
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Here are four winter dishes from Russell's book... www.thefrankmagazine.com
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Caicio E Pepe
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CACIO E PEPE For 4 This Roman impostor is very popular in Venice and has had something of a revival in London and New York of late, too. I can understand why – it’s the perfect dish. There are two principal ingredients and they work together to create something that is greater than the sum of their parts. In Cannaregio, near the Ghetto, there is a restaurant called Paradiso Perduto. It’s a loud and brash place, always packed with students, artists, bohemians, poets, musicians and (ahem) philosophers. The proprietor, Maurizio, is a charming eccentric with a scant regard for authority. He usually only closes his restaurant at night when the police come and tell him to. But the homemade pasta is excellent and the cacio e pepe is an event. An entire wheel of Pecorino is brought to the table on a trolley and the hot pasta turned within it. If you get a chance to visit, I highly recommend it. This recipe does take a bit of practice and if you are not fast enough or your pasta not hot enough, the cheese may clump. Don’t despair, try it again and once you have the hang of it, you won’t look back. It is such a comforting classic that it really is worth the effort.
a handful of black peppercorns 400g tonnarelli or spaghetti
a large knob of good butter 300g finely grated Pecorino Romano
First, put the black peppercorns into a small frying pan over a high heat. Dry-fry them for 2 minutes, shaking the pan frequently. Set aside until they are cool, then put into a mortar and pound with the pestle until roughly ground. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil and cook the pasta according to the packet’s instructions. When the pasta is al dente, drain, but retain the cooking water and leave it on a medium heat. Set the drained pasta aside. Now, speed is of the essence. In a separate large heavy-bottomed pan, melt the butter over a medium heat and scatter in most of the grated Pecorino, stirring quickly with a wooden spoon. Still stirring, use a ladle to add a little of the cooking water to the pan. Keep the spoon going, adding more cooking water if necessary to create a smooth, glossy sauce. Add the drained pasta and continue to stir until every strand is coated, adding a little more cooking water if the sauce looks too stiff (but be careful not to make it too watery). Serve immediately on four warmed plates and scatter a generous amount of the toasted ground peppercorns and the rest of the Pecorino on to the mounds of steaming cheesy pasta.
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Chicken Liver Tagliatelle
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C H I C K E N L I V E R TA G L I AT E L L E For 4 Choices are often influenced by budget and it is the economy cuts and bargains that naturally appeal to the person in charge of the household purse. Additionally, there is often an inverse relationship between expense and flavour. The more costly options at the butcher – fillet steaks and chicken breasts – are not nearly as flavoursome as their cheaper counterparts – beef rib and chicken thighs. This is certainly true of chicken livers, too: in the bargain basement of offal but in the penthouse for flavour. When I bought chicken livers at my local butcher on Seco Marina this morning, incidentally, two things made me smile: the weight of the meat was (as is always the case) slightly more than I had asked for but for the same price, and the livers were wrapped in newspaper. Old school.
300g chicken livers flaky sea salt freshly ground black pepper 400g dried tagliatelle a scant ½ chicken stock cube
extra virgin olive oil 75g butter a small handful of sage leaves 75g Parmesan, grated
Clean the chicken livers in cold running water, removing the blood clots and fatty membranes. Lay on kitchen paper and pat dry. Roughly chop the livers and season with a few pinches of salt and a twist of black pepper. Set aside. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil and cook the tagliatelle according to the packet’s instructions. Reserve a cupful of the pasta cooking water and dissolve the crumbled stock cube into it. Drain the tagliatelle when it is just al dente. Meanwhile, heat a good glug of olive oil with half the butter in a large, heavy-bottomed frying pan and, over a medium heat, sauté the livers and sage leaves until browned. Add the drained tagliatelle to the frying pan and mix the livers and sage to incorporate with the strands of pasta. Turn the heat up a little higher and add the cup of reserved chicken stock/ pasta water. Stir well for 1 minute more, then remove from the heat. Add the remaining butter and most of the grated Parmesan, turn over a few times in the pan to make sure the butter is melted, and serve on warmed plates. Sprinkle the remaining Parmesan as a final flourish at the table.
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Tomato Risotto
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T O M AT O R I S O T T O For 4 I have deliberately included this bright and delicious risotto in the winter chapter because there are times you need a little bit of sunshine on the plate when there is so little coming through the window.
1.5 litres vegetable stock (see page 304) 75g butter 1 large white onion, very finely chopped flaky sea salt 350g Carnaroli rice a small glass of dry vermouth 10 medium oven-dried tomatoes 120g Parmesan, finely grated freshly ground black pepper Prepare your tomatoes in the summer by halving them, laying them on a baking sheet, cutside up, sprinkle with natural caster sugar and flaky sea salt, and roast for 3 hours at 120˚C. Freeze and use them when you fancy some summer flavour and colour in the winter. If you haven’t done that, simply prepare the previous day using the same method. Even mediocre supermarket tomatoes are improved this way. Heat the stock in a large pan and keep it simmering with a ladle to hand. Melt half the butter in a large, heavy-bottomed pan over a medium heat and sautÊ the onion, with a good pinch of salt, until glossy and translucent, turning frequently with a wooden spoon. Add the rice and ensure each grain is coated. Pour in the vermouth, and when the liquid has almost all evaporated, reduce the heat to low, add 1 ladle of stock and stir. Repeat this process for about 10 minutes, carefully adding a small ladle of stock at a time, never allowing the rice to fully dry out but not flooding it either. Gently introduce the tomatoes to the pan and incorporate carefully with a wooden spoon. Continue to add a little stock at a time while stirring for another 5 minutes. When the rice is almost done, but still has a bit of bite (test a grain between your front teeth), add a final splash of stock, the remaining butter, and turn up the heat. Stir for 30 seconds (but try not to bash the tomatoes too much) and remove from the stove. Add most of the Parmesan, stir once or twice, and taste. Adjust the seasoning if necessary. Serve on warm plates, scatter over the remaining Parmesan and finally garnish with a twist of black pepper.
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Pork in Milk
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PORK IN MILK For 6 Most Italian main course dishes come complete and do not require accompanying bowls of vegetables, rice or French fries. This has something to do with the classic meal structure in Italy: Antipasti (starters), Primi (pasta course), Secondi (main course), Dolci (desserts). When you are eating four courses, you don’t need to bulk out the main dish. In fact, you will almost certainly feel over-full if you do. This delicate, tender dish, then, should be enjoyed simply and preferably on its own. Just a couple of medium thick slices with a fairly generous amount of the milky sauce always does the trick.
50g butter 1 clove of garlic, peeled and bashed 1kg lean, boneless pork, trussed 1 bay leaf 1 sprig of rosemary
a small handful of sage ground cinnamon flaky sea salt freshly ground black pepper 1 litre whole milk, plus more for topping up
Take a heavy, lidded casserole dish and melt the butter over a medium heat. Add the garlic, then put in the pork and brown each side. Throw in the bay leaf, rosemary, sage, a small pinch of cinnamon, a good pinch of salt and a twist of black pepper. Meanwhile, heat the milk in a separate saucepan and, when it starts to foam, pour it over the pork. Reduce the heat to low, and place the lid obliquely on the casserole dish. Simmer for 1½ to 2 hours, basting occasionally and adding more milk a little at a time if it dries out. Remove the pork and place it on a chopping board. Cover loosely with a sheet of foil and rest it for 15 minutes. The milk, meanwhile, will appear thick, dark golden brown and textured. This is normal. Turn the heat up to medium under the casserole dish and, using a wooden spoon, scrape all the sticky bits from the bottom of the pan and stir vigorously. If the liquid is too stiff or scant, add a splash or two of water. Strain through a sieve into a small saucepan, test the seasoning and adjust if necessary, bring to the boil for a minute, then remove from the heat. The pork will be nicely tender by now. Remove the string and, using a very sharp knife, slice thinly, laying the meat on warmed plates. Spoon over a generous amount of the sauce and pour the rest into a small jug, to place on the table.
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Tis the Season Francesca Klottrup Chef - Nutritional Therapist
Seasonal food; it tastes better, it is more affordable, sustainable and nutritionally superior. However, it is easy to be less enthusiastic about winter’s starchy tubers and fibrous root vegetables compared to summer’s sweet English strawberries or heady tomatoes. Winter food is often associated with hearty casseroles and satisfying soups, which are a handy way to incorporate lots of vegetables, but unless you are confident with spices and seasonings they can all start to taste a bit the same. The low-slow cooking of wintery stews makes them wonderfully hydrating and deeply nourishing, but they can lack bite. Which, granted, you can rely on a tray of roasted vegetables to provide that crispy forkful, but the generous amounts of oil used in their creation can also add to your waistline. We know adding more plant-based foods to our diet is a good idea. However, it is eating a wide variety of diverse fruit and vegetables, regularly, that seems key in achieving sustained long-term health. So, if you often find yourself getting into a culinary rut at this time of year, here are some ideas to spark some seasonal culinary imagination and inject vitality into your winter plates and bodies.
Learning Points Leeks, shallots, chicory and Jerusalem artichokes are prebiotic. They help support the balance of good bacteria in a gut improving digestive discomfort such as bloating and gas, symptoms often experienced after a day of over doing it. Root vegetables are high in fibre, which also feeds your good gut bacteria, but helps keep your digestive system moving, supporting cholesterol and satiety levels. Cruciferous vegetables (cabbage, sprouts and cauliflower) contain compounds that help to regulate hormones which are easily de-railed after a steady increase in alcohol and festive confectionary consumption. Clementine’s, pomegranates and passionfruit are as abundant in immune supporting antioxidant and antiinflammatory compounds as summer berries, helping to fight off those winter colds. Chestnuts, walnuts and almonds are rich in essential fatty acids, key in supporting healthy skin, which after cold walks, central heated homes and dehydrating hangovers can become dry, dull and loose radiance.
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Citrus Parsnip & Walnut Loaf Including vegetables in baked goods is a great way of increase the fibre which can buffer the sugar hit of a sweet treat. Not dissimilar to carrot cake, parsnips add a natural sweetness allowing for the use of less sugar. This recipe is quite forgiving, already dairy free, it can be made successfully using gluten free flour too and would take extra nuts or dried fruits. Makes 1 loaf Ingredients 120ml Walnut oil 170g Set honey 3 Medium eggs 2 tsp Vanilla 225g Parsnip, grated (approx. 2 large) 220g Wholewheat plain flour
½ tsp Baking powder ½ tsp Bicarbonate soda ½ Sea salt 2 tsp Ground cinnamon 2 tsp Ground ginger 2 tsp Nutmeg 60g Walnuts, roughly chopped 75g Coconut oil 1 Large orange, juice & zest
90ml Set Honey 1 tsp Nutmeg 65g Chopped walnuts Pre-heat the oven 170C/Gas 3/325F Line a loaf tin with baking parchment. Whisk the honey, oil, eggs and vanilla together for 5-10 minutes until it starts to increase in volume and turn a pale yellow. Weigh out the flour, add the baking powder, bicarb, spice and fold into the egg mixture. Fold in the parsnips and walnuts and spoon into the loaf tin. Bake for 40-45 minutes. Make the syrup by adding the coconut oil, honey and orange zest and juice into a small saucepan and gently heat to a boil then reduce to a simmer until it turns syrupy (about 5 minutes). Then stir in the nutmeg. Once the cake is ready, gently skewer the cake to create mini wholes then pour over the warm syrup and top with walnuts. Leave the cake to soak the syrup for half an hour and serve. Notes: The cake will last in an airtight container for 3 days. Pecans make a great alternative to walnuts. Pumpkin seeds can be use to make this nut free. Candied citrus peal was added to garnish this cake for a more festive look. Allergens: nuts, eggs
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Orange Fruit Salad
Serves 4 Ingredients 4 Navel Oranges 4 Clementine 4 Satsumas 4 Tangerines 1 Lime, zest & juice 3 Passionfruit 15g Mint, picked leaves 100g Flaked almonds, toasted 1 Pomegranate 300ml Crème fraiche/coconut yoghurt Allergens: nuts
For a colourful, light, zesty dessert try this orange based salad for a refreshing, vitamin rich way to finish a meal. METHOD
Prepare the oranges cut off the top and bottom to create a flat edge. Then, carefully using a knife, remove the outer peel following the curve of the oranges removing as much of the white pith as possible – save any juices created and put into a small bowl. Turn each orange on their side and finely slice into rounds. Cut the passionfruit in half and scoup out the seeds and add them to a small bowl (add any orange juice you saved). Add the lime juice and zest to the passionfruit. Cut the pomegranate in half and remove the seeds by bashing the back of pomegranate with a large spoon over a bowl. To arrange the salad, have a large platter and layer the orange slices, scattering the pomegranate seeds, mint leaves and almonds between the layers. Pour over the lime and passionfruit juice and serve with crème fraiche. Notes: This can be prepared a couple hours ahead of time but save the mint until serving otherwise it will go brown. Any left overs make a breakfast option.
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Chicory Filo Tart with Yoghurt Sauce The filo base makes this tart a much lighter alternative to a quiche or deep filled pastry. The yoghurt sauce makes it a lower fat option and the bitter chicory stimulates your gall bladder supporting your liver and digestive health. Makes 6 slices Ingredients 1 pack of Filo pastry 6-8 Chicory, depending on size 2 large Brown onions, finely sliced 400g Greek yoghurt, full fat 2 Egg yolks, medium ½ tsp Ground cumin 1 ½ tsp Cornflour 50g Pine nuts 15g Flat leaf parsley, finely chopped Few sprigs of fresh thyme 6 tbsp Olive oil 2 tbsp Honey
Pre-heat the oven to 180C/Gas 4/350F. Sauté the onions in a small frying pan with 2 tbsp of olive oil. Place in a small bowl to cool. Mix the egg yolks, yoghurt, cumin and cornflour together to create a smooth paste. Cut the chicory in half (then quarters for any larger ones) and season with salt and pepper. Line a large baking tray with baking parchment and put one layer of filo on top. Using a pastry brush add a layer the remaining olive oil over the filo and add a second layer on top. Brush the top of the next layer of filo with olive oil and top with another sheet of filo. Continue layering all the filo sheets on top. Then spread the yoghurt sauce over the top layer of filo, leaving a small boarder around the edge. Layer the onions on top of the yoghurt sauce, sprinkle over the parsley, lay the chicory cut side up, lay a few sprigs of thyme over the top of the tart. Bake for 25 minutes until the filo is crisp, golden and chicory soften. To serve sprinkle with pine nuts and a drizzle of honey. Notes: Chicory can be swapped for finely sliced fennel or top with tenderstem broccoli or asparagus for something green. Allergens: Gluten, dairy, eggs, pines
Roasted Garlic Butterbean Puree with Char-grilled Veg Garlic has an endless list of health benefitting properties, but many people are put off from it’s lingering taste. Roasting garlic mellows the flavour making the cloves almost buttery making this butterbean puree a great dairy free alternative to mash potato and lighter side to any winter roast. Serves 2 Ingredients 3 Tins of butterbeans 20g Anchovies 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tbsp White wine vinegar 2 tbsp Water Salt & black pepper 2 tbsp Rapeseed oil 1 Garlic bulb 1 tbsp Cumin seeds 20g Flat leaf parsley, finely chopped 50g Hazelnuts, roughly chopped 8 Baby leeks 8 Small carrots
Put the garlic bulb into a small oven-proof ramekin and add the rapeseed oil. Cover the ramekin and bake for 15 minutes until the garlic cloves are soft and buttery. To make the puree put the butterbeans, anchovies (including any oil), dijon, roasted garlic cloves (and the rapeseed cooking oil) and the white wine vinegar in a blender and puree until smooth. Season with salt and pepper and add more vinegar or dijon to suit your taste. Put the puree into a dish, cover and keep to one side. Put the griddle pan on the hob and let it get hot. Cut any of the large leeks and carrots in half then lightly dress in oil and place the vegetables on the griddle and leave for a few minutes then turn over (try not to turn the veg too soon otherwise they won’t like the attractive grill lines). If the vegetables haven’t softened enough cook them for a further 5-10 minutes in a moderately warm oven. To serve, spread the puree on the plate, lay the vegetables on top. Mix the cumin seeds, parsley and hazelnuts in a bowl and spoon generously over the plate and drizzle over a little oil. Notes: the butterbean puree can be kept chilled in an airtight container for 5 days. The puree can also be served warm by heating it in an oven proof dish in a moderately hot oven for 10 minutes. Vegan? Swap the anchovies for truffle oil. Allergens: mustard, nuts, fish
Pre-heat the oven to 190C/Gas 5/375F.
Brussel Sprout Slaw Cruciferous vegetables, like sprouts, are rich in compounds called glucosinolates, which when consumed regularly, play a key role in health promotion and disease prevention in human health. The tahini dressing and apples add a creamy nutty sweetness to this slaw that is guaranteed to have you reaching for more. Serves 4 Ingredients ½ large White cabbage 2 Jazz apples 500g Brussel sprouts 30g White sesame seeds, toasted 2 Lemons zest & juice 1 tbsp White wine vinegar 1 Garlic clove 1 tsp Honey 45ml Rapeseed oil 75ml Toasted sesame oil 60g Tahini 2 tbsp Water 15g Mint 15g Coriander 30g Toasted sesame seeds 30g Nigella Seeds 1 Red chilli, finely chopped 2 Red onions, finely sliced 45ml White wine vinegar 1 tsp salt
Pre-heat the oven to 190C/Gas 5/375F. Slice half the brussel sprouts in half, season and lightly oil a baking tray and roast the sprouts for 15 minutes to soften the centres but crisp the outsides. Start with lightly pickling the onions by placing the in a small bowl, salt and pour over the vinegar and leave to one side for at least 15 minutes. Make the dressing by blending all the ingredients together until smooth and creamy. Add an additional splash of water if you want to loosen it further – you want it coating consistency. Finely slice the cabbage and the remaining brussels (if you feel confident enough use a mandolin for the best results). on top then continue to layer Then finely slice the apples and add them to the cabbage-sprout mix, pour over the dressing and mix it thoroughly through the vegetables. To serve, layer the cabbage-sprout mix into a large bowl adding handfuls of the garnish ingredients and pickled onions as you go finishing with the roasted sprouts. Notes: the dressing can be made a couple of days in advance and stored, chilled, in an airtight container. The cabbage and sprouts can be sliced the night before and the pickled onions can be stored in the pickling mix in an jar, chilled, for a week. Allergens: sesame seeds
Francesca Klottrup Chef - Nutritional Therapist
www.francescaklottrup.com @francescaklottrup Photos byFrancesca Klottrup
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David Nicholls David trained as an actor before making the switch to writing. He is an award-winning screenwriter, with TV credits including the third series of Cold Feet, a much-praised modern version of Much Ado About Nothing, The 7.39 and an adaptation of Tess of the D’Urbervilles. David wrote the screenplays for Great Expectations (2012) and Far from the Madding Crowd (2015, starring Carey Mulligan). He has twice been BAFTA nominated and his recent adaptation of Patrick Melrose from the novels by Edward St Aubyn won him an Emmy nomination.
there’s that extra layer of judgement - have you screwed up the book? Thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the case, and I’ve been thrilled by the response. It seems to have struck a chord, about family, parenthood and marriage and mid-life.I’ve lost some sleep but have also had some lovely feedback.So -‘phew' is the most succinct response.
Do you have full approval on casting? Tom, how bloody brilliant! Not full approval - it’s the director who spends the shoot with the actors, so I tend to defer. But I do have a voice and strong opinions and now, as a producer too, I get to express them.. But I’m delighted with the casting and yes, that’s an extraordinary performance from Tom.
How has 2020 been for you? Strange, sad and anxious. I’m acutely aware of my relative good fortune and feel terrible for friends and colleagues who’ve lost work and income.It has also been tough watching my kids - the disappointment and uncertainty.They don’t speak about their anxiety but I know it’s there.We’ve got through it okay so far but like everyone, I’m longing for some good news.
The TV show‘Us’was released this year. How has it been received ? Having something on television is both a great privilege and a source of huge anxiety and with an adaptation,
What does your role as a writer on set, involve? I’m mainly responsible for eating biscuits and worrying. For this reason, I tend not to go on set. It tends to worry the actors and director who feel, quite rightly, that you’re checking up on them. Also by that stage it’s too late to change things and whenever I’ve tried something new on set, I’ve always caused chaos. The ‘Us’ production clashed with the ’Sweet Sorrow’ book tour, so I was absent for nearly all the shoot, even Barcelona and Paris. Perhaps it’s just as well - filming on location is both stressful and boring with no time for sightseeing,
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When did the story come into fruition? It’s actually quite old! I started writing it ten years ago, in the aftermath of One Day. I was on a seemingly endless book tour, spending two days in Madrid, a night in Stockholm, an afternoon in Milan. It was wonderful - I’d never really travelled much in Europe - but exhausting too, and so the idea of a road trip seemed to make sense.Also, One Day was very much about dating and friendship and I didn’t want to repeat myself, so marriage, family, parenthood seemed the logical next step a kind of emotional sequel to One Day. Combine those themes of travel and family life and you get ‘Us'
The character Doug really landed with people, how did you come to him?
Why do you think you have the ability to give characters such reality and soul?Where does your emotional intelligence stem from? Nature or nature? Well,thank you - that’s very kind.It’s a dull answer but I’m afraid I’ve no idea,except perhaps that I’ve spent a lifetime reading and watching, reading and watching, and perhaps that helps you into other people’s mindsets.
Who do you read ? A lot of American fiction - I love Elizabeth Strout, Anne Tyler, Lorrie Moore and, from further back, Richard Yates, John Cheever, JD Salinger, Philip Roth. British authors - I love Penelope Fitzgerald, Muriel Spark, EM Forster and my first great loves as a reader were Dickens and Scott Fitzgerald, Hardy and Orwell. I could go on, and often do.
It was kind of a reaction against One Day. Dexter in that novel is pure-GQ magazine - vain and selfassured,to begin with at least,so wouldn’t it be fun to write the opposite? Devoted rather than Writing scripts I presume is a different promiscuous, a scientist rather that a sensualist. process. Although books are in scenes but They’ve nothing in common - they’d really hate how much fun is to indulge in dialogue? each other in real life - and yet they both fall deeply in love. I can write dialogue all day - I love the bounce and energy of it,the gap between what’s said and what’s What is it you need when it comes to putting meant. I was a lousy actor but loved to improvise, pen to paper as it were ? Atmosphere? Time and so that’s one of the pleasures of screenwriting - minimal description, lots of talk. But of day? screenwriting is much more technical than fiction. It’s writing within limits - limits of budget,running If it’s fiction, I can only write in the mornings and time, of the tools you have available (ie. no ‘he it helps if I’m completely alone. 9 to 1 is the best thought’, no ’she felt’, no similes or metaphors) time - the afternoon is for editing or writing screenplays, which tend to be more collaborative, more technical.That aside, I need an internet“I can write dialogue all day - I blocker and coffee and that’s it.
Who reads your work first? My agent, Jonny. Then, as long as its not embarrassing, my editor Nick. Only after some polishing does it go to my partner, Hannah. She’s a brilliant critic but harsh too and I don’t want to give her something I’m unsure about.I have pride! Then I take notes from all three, plus one or two trusted readers, all of whom I listen to - I’m not at all proud about criticism, though it’s sometimes agony. You have to listen to the problems, then find your own solutions.
love the bounce and energy of it, the gap between what’s said and what’s meant. I was a lousy actor but loved to improvise, and so that’s one of the pleasures of screenwriting - minimal description, lots of talk.”
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“One Day was very much about dating and friendship and I didn’t want to repeat myself, so marriage, family, parenthood seemed the logical next step - a kind of emotional sequel to One Day. Combine those themes of travel and family life and you get ‘Us’” One of my favourite books of yours is the ‘Understudy” , so so funny. This was pre ‘One Day’ , do you feel there is a line between what came before and after. I’m fond of The Understudy and Starter for Ten but do think of them as the early, funny ones. I was quite scared of certain things - any kind of lyricism or sincerity, darker subject matter, complicated structures - and definitely finding my way. The three that came after - One Day, Us and Sweet Sorrow - are the books I’m most proud of (which isn’t to say that I wouldn’t rewrite them in a flash). It wasn’t part of the plan but in retrospect they’re a kind of trilogy about how time changes us, about how we experience love and friendship from sixteen to fiftysex. They’re more competent, more experimental, both sadder and funnier than the first two (though I couldn’t have written them without those early attempts)
Will we be seeing your latest ‘Sweet Sorrow’ on screen anytime soon? I’m writing the screenplay now, and loving it. But the whole business of screen production is in crisis at present, so it won’t be onscreen any time soon.
What will you being doing over the Christmas period? We used to celebrate with families then skip of to a wintery European city, like a more harmonious version of the Petersen’s in Us; Vienna or Milan or Paris. Sadly, that’s on hold so it will be a quiet one this time. Food, eating, maybe a walk round the park.
Whats on your Christmas list? It’s the dullest list in the world and has stayed unchanged for years now - new socks, pyjamas, a book or two. I’m very happy with that.
What inspires you to write? The work of other writers - it’s important to have something to aspire to. The responses of readers are important too, but if I’m ever really stuck I think of my teenage self. I wouldn’t have dared say that I wanted to be a writer - such things didn’t happen - so I’m amazed that I’m here. Writing for an audience is a privilege and so it’s important to sit up straight, take the notes and do the work.
Do you enjoy the process? I find it almost unbearably stressful at times, and the process of sending it out into the world - the hard-nosed business of reviews and sales figures and feedback - is awful; one mean remark on social media can send me into a spin for days (which is my problem, not the critical voice - I need thicker skin). At the same time, when things are going well - when actors are clearly enjoying themselves, when a joke lands, when the words of a novel are flowing - then it’s pure bliss.
What are your plans for 2021? To travel, see friends, eat food that’s been made by someone other than me. But mainly to write again.
“ I wouldn’t have dared say that I wanted to be a writer - such things didn’t happen - so I’m amazed that I’m here. Writing for an audience is a privilege and so it’s important to sit up straight, take the notes and do the work.”
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FRANK Life Hack Get up and do something It’s easy to become a little more relaxed whilst the evenings and mornings are darker. So many excuses - too tired, too busy, too everything. However, keeping up with an existing exercise routine or making a start is key. Getting up and moving is so good for you. There are so many exercise choices available these days. Online yoga, or a fitness programme, a walk in the park, just something to get you up and moving. It doesn’t have to be hardcore, just something you enjoy and will keep up.
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Killing Kittens founder Emma Sayle CEO & Founder of the worlds famous adult parties. Emma celebrates 15 years in business and shares a few of her new and empowering photos with us.
“I’ve always said it how it is. I’ve always been opinionated and unapologetic for it , maybe 10 years in an all girl boarding school helped that, but I’ve always owned my ideas. I was a maths and science geek at school and very analytical which is how my mind works so I don’t take a lot personally.” www.thefrankmagazine.com
Tell us about your amazing new photoshoot?
My personal journey over the 15 years of going from an Alex who owns FYEO studio messaged me asking if she insecure 25 year old who hated her body and a person that could take my photos . My automatic reply would have beat myself up on a daily basis to my body aged 42 being been ‘definitely not’but it was just after lockdown and I my absolute hero. I’m totally in awe of what its achieved was bored at home crawling walls so thought fuck it why from climbing mountains, running across deserts, swimming oceans to growing and giving birth to 3 babies. not. I didn’t even tell my hubby. I did it for me and only me but then once done with our wedding anniversary My body needs to be celebrated and given the high five it coming up decided to get some blown up for a present, deserves. then I showed our community manager and KK 15th birthday was coming up too and we wanted to know about What triggered the idea for the parties? member’s stories of finding their confidence etc. It just felt right and something that i’d never really thought It wasn’t a sudden idea. It was one that had grown from about. a burning fire inside me, that I had from when I could walk. I never just accepted the status quo of anything, questioned everything and never understood why girls were treated differently from boys. As a a kid, it was everything from climbing trees,being allowed to be bossy, to playing sports.As I got older this attitude moved into sexuality .Through uni to working in London, the rage in me grew with the double standards when it came to sex. I was surrounded by it daily.Guys could just shag around and be seen as legends, girls only had to think about a one night stand and the slut shaming starts. It was not just from other people but the voice in my head. As women we are programmed by the messaging we grow up with ...be more ladylike, keep your knickers on, don’t havesex unless you’re in love, don’t be bossy, don’t be opinionated , compromise etc. In 2004 ‘Sex and the City’ was out,Ann Summers hit the high street, Lelo toys went into Selfridges and I was helping with the PR for the Erotica show. I was reading about this female sexual revolution and seeing women being more open about sex toys and their sex lives but yet everything in the adult world was still owned by men, run by men, designed by men. I was at a very hedonistic wedding in Ibiza, with well known female celebs who just owned their sexuality without giving a f*** and there was me as this insecure 25 year old who hated my body and never got naked in bright lights, watching in awe. That’s when I said right that’s it, I want to create a world online and offline for women to explore their sexuality, to feel safe , a world without judgement and where women could feel totally in control . It was their world and still is.What started as monthly parties with a basic online community forum has grown into a community of over 180k members around the world and over 20 events a month across 12 cities and 3 continents and the worlds first adult safe for work social network platform. All photography www.fyeoboudoirphotography.com
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movement. I was prepared to face abuse over it ( ultimately a principle is not a principle unless your prepared to lose I had been working in entertainment PR and knew venue something over it) I was totally consumed by it and as my owners. One of them offered me one of his small late night mum said at our wedding ‘motivated to the point of bars, for my first event. I had met lots of people through the exhaustion of anyone near me’ erotica show and also out and about in London, so I knew people who would want to attend . The first event had 40 Are you business minded? people and the rest is history, but I’m an endurance athlete and I always knew it was a slow and steady business. Social I don’t know if I’m business minded, as I don’t know what media didn’t really exist back then, women’s sexuality was business minded would look like.Am I the ultimate optimist, still frowned upon, not really spoken about and judged, so with unwavering grit and determination,who will keep going it was an underground community that slowly grew, but regardless of the voices around her telling her to give up, yes every bone in my body knew it was right and knew the absolutely. I’m a total big picture, look ahead at the explosion in sexuality, particularly the freedom for women checkmate, person, rather than getting caught up in the was coming.It was a question of watching and waiting,then small stuff person but I hate money. #metoo happened and that was it for me, go big or go home! I hate details and I have a 15min attention span with meetings or working on anything so I don’t know, I just do How do you go about putting the events together? what I do.
How did you go about putting the business together?
Venues are key, the layout and member journey is crucial so we always walk through a venue and imagine how an event will work, where the bar is, DJ, entertainment, what will work best for the ‘play rooms’. From day one to me, sex is the byproduct.We focus on the experience as a whole.Sex to women is the touch, feel, smell and ambience, without that ,without our biggest sex organ, the brain, being turned on, those legs ain’t gonna open for anyone!
How did you lasso in a team ? To start with is was only one event a month. It was just me and I’d use venue staff for the events but after a year I met Cleo who started as our door girl and is now our events director. She’s been the Robin to my Batman and together we found some great events staff, many we still use now for events from security, bar staff, entertainment. Me and my husband got an au pair 6 years ago when our first child was born and she’s now an event manager. To me loyalty is everything and I know its also my blindspot but I’ll never change that.In this world,doing what we do,taking the shit we take and having to deal with the endless doors being shut in our faces or never open to start with, I’ve needed a team of gladiators around me and that’s what we’ve got now . Theres 10 of us full time now and they’ve all been involved from 4 to 14 years.
Did it feel like brave venture? At the time it didn’t feel brave. I never got the,‘this is going to punch you in the face’ daily memo when I started it, I just knew it was right. It was never and still isn’t about me. It was always about a much bigger purpose, a much bigger
One would presume that others people judgement does not matter to you but is this a muscle that you have had to develop? Definitely a muscle I’ve had to develop. In my early 20s I definitely cared too much about what people thought and starting Killing Kittens was hard but when you have that belief in the bigger picture then I developed a thick skin very quickly. Once I realised that you cant control what people you’ve never met think or say about you, you realise there is no point worrying about it. When you challenge the status quo,when you’re trying to change the world,then abuse will be there as people don’t like change especially misogynists. I’m not just talking male misogynists, female misogynists are as bad, if not worse a lot of the time.
“ I just love people and when we get daily messages from people telling us that we’ve changed their lives and how we’ve made them feel empowered, that is when it all makes sense and that is when I know that whatever abuse I get, the purpose is far greater than me and I love that.”
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What sort of people enjoy these events? All sorts. There is no one type of person, we get all sorts of people across all races, nationalities, religion, culture, ages, gender and industries.The one common thread is they are hedonists, people who want to experience the world, people who know they have one life and that life needs to be lived and explored and people with open minds without judgement ...humanists. We get a total mix of single younger women wanting to explore their sexuality to older women coming out of divorce, wanting to reclaim their sexuality and power.Women from strict religious backgrounds and women who have suffered abuse wanting to get their power back and also couples who are exploring their relationship together.
What is the best thing about your job and what you do? Being part of something. That sense of belonging and constantly meeting amazing people with inspiring stories and backgrounds. I just love people and when we get daily messages from people telling us that we’ve changed their lives and how we’ve made them feel empowered, that is when it all makes sense and that is when I know that whatever abuse I get, the purpose is far greater than me and I love that.
How have you been brave enough to be out there, being authentic and owning your ideas? I’ve always said it how it is. I’ve always been opinionated and unapologetic for it , maybe 10 years in an all girl boarding school helped that, but I’ve always owned my ideas. I was a maths and science geek at school and very analytical which is how my mind works so I don’t take a lot personally. My faith has always been strong, I’ve always gone to church and what started as praying every night when at school is now more having a chat with whatever is out there and saying thank you, apologising and just chatting, which I think has made me accountable to a bigger entity and keeps me grounded.
Have you read Brene Brown‘Braving the Wilderness’ the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone? You seem to naturally do this! No I haven’t, I only found Brene last year and I bloody love her. It was weird finding her and watching her talks and thinking yeah I do that and yeah that’s how my mind works. I don’t know where it comes from. I just think growing up moving every 2 years and seeing so much of the world and so many different cultures and having friends across all social groups, religions , genders has always made me question true belonging. It’s made me feel a lot of the time alone despite being surrounded by so many people. It’s an outsiders mindset of feeling like you’re constantly looking in on other peoples worlds while never really belonging to one of your own. I’ve always felt in that wilderness, on my own and so having the courage to stand alone is just my default setting!
“It was an underground community that slowly grew, but every bone in my body knew it was right and knew the explosion in sexuality, particularly the freedom for women was coming. It was a question of watching and waiting, then 'me too’ happened and that was it for me, go big or go home!”
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"My personal journey over the 15 years of going from an insecure 25 year old who hated her body and a person that beat myself up on a daily basis, to my body aged 42 being my absolute hero. I’m totally in awe of what its achieved from climbing mountains, running across deserts, swimming oceans to growing and giving birth to 3 babies. My body needs to be celebrated and given the high five it deserves.�
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Tell us about other work that you do for women? When I launched Killing Kittens,I also founded‘The Sisterhood’which is a group of women who do loads of crazy sporting challenges in aid of different women’s and children’s charities.We have raised nearly 1million to date and these women are my tribe.When lockdown happened the first thing I thought about was those women trapped in homes with abusive partners and how it was only going to get worse in lockdown. Having been in those relationships, I can strongly feel the fear in those women and it really upset me knowing they were out there and I couldn’t help them. Me and two friends launched ‘Hitt against Hit’ a social media campaign to do 5minutes of physical HIIT workout, upload a picture tag 5 friends and pay a fiver to the cause ,which went to Refuge and Women’s Aid.We ran it throughout the first lockdown and raised 10k which I know is a drop in the domestic abuse ocean but it was something.
Has the perception and narrative about you shifted at all in the last 15 years? Has being married shielded you from judgement? Yes, it has shifted and I think getting married and having kids has definitely ‘normalised’me in the eyes of some others and it makes me less of a threat to the patriarchy, when actually the opposite is true. I happen to have married a total feminist, who gives me even more strength to get out there and do what I do.The image is more of a trojan horse allowing me to continue to advance unnoticed!
What keeps you happy and emotionally buoyant away form the family dynamic? I had kids late at aged 36/38/40 and by that point I was selfish in what makes me happy, my self care and what I need for me. I’m really disciplined with myself to make sure I stay selfish to a point. I have my sisterhood girls who I try and see regularly. I like going away on my own for weekends with friends or mid week spa nights with girlfriends. I love walking outside and do it daily just me and the dogs. I don’t want anyone else with me. I love exercise, it has always been my outlet . I’ve done pilates for 15years now and its my go to, along with open water swimming and Chloe Madeley got me into heavy weights in the last year which definitely realises the feel good vibes, properly hooked now. I love Dolly Parton and her music has been my ‘go to’since I was little and I just whack that on. She’s got a song with a story for everything and is my proper happy place listening to her!
www.killingkittens.com @killingkittens_
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F R A N K Issue 11 Dec - Jan 2020/21
''Frank is for women who want to be informed, inspired, amused, look good and be healthy.'
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Gillian Joseph
Sky news anchor and journalist Gillian talks about her work, family and travel.
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What a crazy news year this has been! How have you coped with it professionally? My Husband had Covid quite badly back at the beginning in March so I had to self isolate with him and the children for two weeks and just as I was about to return to work I had a temperature of over 38C and some mild symptoms so wasn’t allowed in the building for another two weeks. When I did finally return to work it was a relief. I was so glad to get back to a bit of normality although in reality it was anything but.The studios were like a ghost town and everything had changed. On Sky News Breakfast Stephen was presenting from home and I was in the studio. We had to very quickly get used to a whole new way of working. In those first few weeks back at work the scale of the effect of the pandemic on our lives really hit me. I was reading out the names and back stories of the people that had died. We used to put up a wall of the faces of the people that had died from Covid. I felt like crying on most days and never more so than when I knew one of the faces. My friend’s sister had died at just 39 leaving behind a husband, five children and extended family members. Each one of those faces that we showed was somebody’s Mum, somebody’s Dad, uncle, brother. The rising statistics were horrific but when you were confronted with the real stories it was almost too much to bear. Looking back I don’t know how I got through some of those programmes.
Did you know from a young age that you wanted to be a journalist ? I know it’s really boring to admit this but yes. There was a brief moment when I wanted to be a naturalist but then realised that my pathological fear of birds wouldn’t serve me well. I used to watch the news as a child and was always fascinated to know what went on at the end of the bulletin when they shuffled their papers and spoke to each other when the microphones were off. I
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wanted to know what they were saying. I wanted to be a part of what I perceived to be that secret world. Who inspired you ? Who inspires you now? Ooh, that’s easy. Sir Trevor Macdonald, Moira Stuart and Alan Whicker. Sheer class all of them. Sir Trevor is the reason that I do what I do. Seeing him reporting out in the field and presenting in the studio filled me with joy and pride as a child and made me realise that it was perfectly possible to follow in his footsteps. Our paths have crossed several times over the years and each time has been a delight. The most memorable encounter was at Buckingham Palace when the Queen held a reception for broadcasters. I was talking to Sir Trevor over a glass of something bubbly and he was complimenting me on my broadcasting and told me how they were fans in his house. I was on cloud nine and giddy with excitement that the great Trevor Macdonald even knew who I was when all of a sudden the Queen came up to him and he said “May I present Gillian Joseph Ma’am” I thought I was dreaming, but it actually happened.
“There was a brief moment when I wanted to be a naturalist but then realised that my pathological fear of birds wouldn’t serve me well.”
I love you and Stephen together. How long have you been working with him ? I text him to check the dates and he thinks it will be our 10 year anniversary in January. It’s amazing I can’t quite believe it has been that long. It has been a joy working with Stephen and we know each other so well now that it’s second nature when we’re on air together. We have little codes and signs that have evolved over the years where we can communicate without actually speaking. It really is just so natural. I spend most of my time telling him off during the breaks for making me laugh. He has a very wicked sense of humour. AND I’ll tell him things in confidence when we’re off air and he’ll blurt it out to the audience as soon as the cameras start rolling again.
Do you enjoy the adrenaline rush of live TV? I suppose I must do but I don’t feel like I’m enjoying it at the time. When your heart is pounding and there’s an imminent deadline its hard to describe it as fun but perhaps I do enjoy it as I do it over and over again. I will say the sense of achievement when it all goes well is phenomenal. I do love my job, I consider it a privilege to be able to meet people from all walks of life, to share people’s stories and to hold politicians to account. I also love the fact that there is a loyal audience out there that supports you but isn’t frightened to pull you up if they disagree with you.
Because ‘news’ by definition isn’t something you can really rehearse, how do you prepare for a broadcast? You got that right. THERE IS NO REHEARSAL! There is a lot of reading that you have to do and news that you have to watch. Basically you have to keep half an eye across everything all the time. With preparation for specific interviews you try to read up as much as you can about the individual beforehand and the issue they will be speaking on. With political interviews it’s more straightforward but with others you really have to try and delve into the personality to be able to draw out the interesting lines.
What has been your scariest moment on a live broadcast? The Most tense moment was when we interviewed a Tourette’s sufferer. You could see her straining every sinew in her body not to blurt out an expletive. It was quite a risky strategy by the producer to put her on live but he thought it would be ground breaking. In the end, I think we did a revealing and sensitive interview about the condition, but just as we were going off air she shouted “F —- Santa”
How do you switch off? Can you switch off?
I don’t think I really do switch off 100% but when I’m exercising I do feel a release. I love boxing and doing HIIT classes but haven’t been able to do those consistently recently. I started running during lockdown I have no difficulty with this whatsoever. This is the very and that has been a real life saver. It’s just provided me essence of my role as a journalist. The story is never about with the mental space I needed and gave me a sense of me or what I think. I’m there to ask the questions and try achievement totting up the miles. I’m going crazy in to get to some sort of truth. I may play devils advocate to quarantine at the moment because I can’t run outdoors. put the other side but it is never my view. Sometimes people aren’t able to appreciate when I’m doing this and believe I have exposed my personal thoughts but this is never the case.
How difficult is it to stay neutral when discussing news events?
“The rising [covid] statistics were horrific but when you were confronted with the real stories it was almost too much to bear. Looking back I don’t know how I got through some of those programmes.” www.thefrankmagazine.com
“I started running during lockdown and that has been a real life saver. It’s just provided me with the mental space I needed and gave me a sense of achievement totting up the miles.” Outside of work what brings you the greatest joy? My family. They stress me out as well but I can’t imagine life without any of them. I include members of my extended family as well. Life would be so empty without them. They keep me grounded. They are my sounding board and the people that I share everything with.
Your instagram profile pic is you in front of the Taj Mahal, tells about that. That Taj Mahal picture was taken in February last year. I was there cycling 250 miles across India for charity and to mark my 50th Birthday. I wanted to do something memorable. It’s not everyday that you hit that half century. It terrified me before and during but I’m so glad that I did it. When I look back now I can’t quite believe that I cycled every single last mile and never gave up and got on the support bus. It feels like a different person accomplished that but I have the photos to prove that it was in fact me.
“We saw your Mum on the Telly” Her reply would be “Stop going on about it” As for my son he very early on was able to differentiate between my roles. If I ever picked him up from school in my studio make up and clothes he would say with a knowing smile on his face “Oh, you’ve been Gillian Joseph today haven’t you?” as opposed to plain old Mummy.
Do you have any ambitions that you would like to fulfil personally and professionally ? Personally, I just want to see my children happy and settled. I feel that I’ve lived my life and it’s all about them now. I hope that we’ve equipped them with the necessary tools to enjoy their lives fully.
I’m on the Board of Directors of an exciting new project called “The World Reimagined” It’s a ground breaking mass participation art education My eldest daughter writes really well and works for a project to transform how UK society understands Communications House at the moment but a I think the Transatlantic Slave Trade and its impact. I she might eventually work in journalism. I’ve never really want society as a whole to understand this encouraged her in this direction but I have seen the history and its implications. We have some big signs for some time. I never wanted to suggest it names involved and have secured some fantastic though. I let her come to her own realisation. I don’t partnerships. Watch this space. think the other two have any interest in that area. In fact my middle daughter was quite embarrassed @gillianjoseph101 by what I did when she was younger and used to get upset if she went to school and people said to her
What do your children make of your career?
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We do a lot of damage by repeating old, irrelevant stories. We allow a story from a long time ago – a story which is no longer relevant - define us and become our story. And it’s a load to carry. An unnecessary one. This can be used in reverse, too. This is the reason that affirmations are so powerful, you repeat a wonderful truth about yourself until it becomes fact, something unmistakably true. You repeat it until it flows through your veins, becomes as real as the bones in you. Be intentional with this story you are crafting. It is your life’s work. @yrsadaleyward
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“Live, Learn and Thrive in a Life You Love”
ANDREA MCLEAN Interview by Kate Tilston
As a Life Coach I have read my fair share of “self -help” books and often get asked by my clients if there are any I would recommend? Having read several of Andrea’s books I was intrigued to read her latest book “THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE” which aims to help women live, learn & thrive in a life they love! Having read the book, I was lucky enough to chat to Andrea and find out a bit more about this next chapter in her life.
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Firstly, can I congratulate you on your book reaching The Sunday Times bestseller list? That’s an amazing achievement in itself! How did you feel when you heard the news?
people react to your very honest and sometimes raw account of what happened?
It's strange… although I obviously knew that people would read my book and therefore find out about what I had been through, I hadn’t calculated what it would Thank you so much! I have a vision board on my laptop, feel like to have people come back to talk to me about where I put all my hopes and dreams - the house by the sea their thoughts on it.When journalists started asking me I want to live in, the woman I aspire to be and the bestquestions about it, and then all the wonderful readers selling books I want to write.So,every day I’ve seen “Sunday began contacting me,it was a little overwhelming.I cried Times Best Seller”on there and I’ve hoped and hoped for it to during the first few interviews I did because all the raw come true withThis Girl Is On Fire because the book is so emotions came rushing back to the surface.But the more precious to me. On the Sunday morning after it was I’ve spoken about things, the stronger I’ve felt.And the released it was the first thing I thought of when I woke feedback I have had has been absolutely incredible. I up. Nick, my husband, was about to head to the corner have had women contacting me to tell me that my book shop to buy the paper when a text came through to say has changed their life, because they have actually taken I’d done it! I was so happy I cried. We danced round the the steps they knew they needed to take but were too kitchen,then I wrote it down on a post it note and put it in afraid to. Some have been brave; they have started up our Good News Jar that we keep in the kitchen.This is my businesses they have dreamed of but never dared to. second Sunday Times Best Seller and I’m so proud of that. Others have left relationships that they’ve known deep down weren’t working and were damaging. And in one Writing a book is never easy, writing a book instance,it literally saved a woman’s life.She had booked where you expose so much of your vulnerability into a hotel planning to take her life and I happened to come on theTV to talk about my book and my experience. is very brave especially for someone so much in She stopped, listened, and in that moment rang for help. the public eye – what made you decide to do this She contacted me privately to thank me, and I am still now? in touch with her now, helping her. I will never underestimate the power of being open about my I’ve always been the kind of person who passes on vulnerabilities and showing women that I have been in information that can help someone.Whether that’s to a that darkest of places and somehow pulled back. And I friend if I hear about a job I know they’d be great for, or am grateful every day that I am still here, to show them some good advice to someone who is struggling. Just as that there can be light again. with my last book Confessions of a Menopausal Woman, I felt that going through a traumatic experience and There were times I felt really emotional reading coming out the other side meant I could help people who your book, how did it feel writing it and how did may be feeling as I did. It was important to me to be totally honest about my experience, because otherwise it you get past any“wobbles”you might have had? would be yet another book of instructions, just TELLING you how to live,rather than a book filled with I got emotional too! But it has also been powerful, shared stories and experiences as well as providing knowing that by telling my truth there was nothing to guidance. It was difficult at times writing about some of the hide, or feel ashamed about. It’s actually been really more painful parts of my life that I had until then kept uplifting. private, but I really felt that I needed to show women that whatever it is they are feeling, I have felt it too and here are the things that I have found to overcome my “I wanted every woman reading the obstacles.
I guess many people were shock ed when they read about your breakdown as I suspect most of us see you as this glamourous lady who appears to have it all together all of the time. How did
book to feel that I was talking to them and have that gasp of recognition of “This is how I feel too! This is me!”
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“My whole point of writing the book was to say, as I do in the very first lines of it, “Shit happens” and give people a mixture of a friendly kick up the backside to stop whining and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, and a supporting arm to let them know that they are doing great.” In a world filled with self-help books, I loved the fact that yours is so real, so relatable. What do you want your readers to take away from the book? Thank you! Those exact words - real and relatable.The advice I give comes from a place of experience, and from experts, not just myself.When I write I feel as if I am speaking to one person, as if we are sitting having a chat over a coffee or a glass of wine, being really, really open with each other. It feels very intimate and personal to me, and I wanted every woman reading the book to feel that I was talking to them and have that gasp of recognition of “This is how I feel too! This is me!”
As someone who has coached many women over the years and watched them present themselves as incredibly capable whilst falling apart, what was that light bulb moment for you when you said,“no more” and decided to do things differently? I think that so many women do this, because that’s how being successful is presented to us - as keeping it together and smiling brightly when everything is falling apart, not bothering anyone, keeping going. While these are all admirable qualities in the short term, they aren’t great for us in the long term, as I discovered after literally YEARS of doing this! For me, that moment was a friend standing in front of me, much like a superhero in front of a runaway train, holding her hand up and saying,“Stop”.The relief of being called out, of having someone say to me,“I don’t know what’s going on, but you aren’t right, and you need to stop whatever it is you think you’re doing right now”. I fell apart right there and then. It was an awful, but also incredibly powerful moment, because it marked the beginning of things getting better.
Something I work on a lot with my clients is changing patterns of behaviour and you talk about this in the book, about the need to not just change but to keep on doing it! How did you go about making those changes and then not fall into the trap of beating yourself up if you reverted to the old patterns which we all do? I’m a very visual person, so I need to visualise things rather than just right a list and tick things off.That’s very dry and corporate to me, I need to imagine it in my head! So I imagined my patterns of behaviour as being like grooves in my brain, much like how Professor Steve Peters describes in his brilliant book The Chimp Paradox. I imagined them being like the paths you see on hillsides where sheep have walked the same way over and over and eventually the grass has worn thin and a path is formed. I just needed to form new paths, and eventually the old ones would grow over. I reminded myself WHY I was doing things - to feel better, and to stay feeling good - every time I felt temped to stop. I worked out what things made me feel good and started incorporating them into my routine. I think if we come at habit change from a place of finding pleasure rather than punishing ourselves for‘getting it wrong’then we are much more likely to stick at it. There is a bit in the book about figuring out what makes you happy, and it’s so ridiculously simple - just write down 5 things that make you happy, then ask yourself why you’re not doing them. If they are excuses, then you don’t really want them enough, and if they are reasons, then figure out a way to overcome them.And that’s it. So, for me, I know then when I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed, it means I haven’t been doing the things I should, my habits have slipped, so I go back to them again. My things are: spending some time outside at least once a day, moving my body, meditating, and putting some kind of structure into my day.The hardest part for me is structure! I keep my lists in my head and get round to them when I feel like it, but I know that writing them down and ticking them off is more practical and saves time. www.thefrankmagazine.com
I loved the chapter about shifting your line of vision – I’m a very practical coach and focus with my clients on finding solutions, you so obviously made a conscious decision to change your way of thinking about certain things and it’s resulted in your amazingly positive outlook, what do you do for yourself on those days where your vision is clouded, you feel less positive? Go for a walk. It’s about changing your state; so if you stay exactly where you are, sitting at your desk, or in your home feeling anxious, overwhelmed, angry or whatever, you will stay that way mentally unless you change something physically.If you can’t get out the house,put on some music and jump about - anything to move your body and distract your brain away from what it has become fixated on. Once your mind is receptive to this change of state, write down everything that’s bothering you, then write down everything that you could possibly do to change it. Dig into it - ask yourself“Then what? Then what? Then what?”and you will have come up with a solution.Then start focusing on the SOLUTION not the PROBLEM. I guarantee you will feel better. Even though the problem is still there, and technically nothing has changed, you have shifted your perspective, and that changes everything.
“ It was important to me to be totally honest about my experience, because otherwise it would be yet another book of instructions, just TELLING you how to live, rather than a book filled with shared stories and experiences as well as providing guidance.”
I have to mention SAS Who Dares Wins – just reading about your experience brought me out in a cold sweat,looking back on it now,are you glad you did it? Ha ha, it was pretty brutal! I am thankful every day that I did that show, it literally changed my life. It forced all the demons that I had pushed down, put into a box and vowed never to look at, to come rushing out of me with a bang. It brought back memories and emotions that I had hoped I would never revisit.But,whilst that in itself was truly awful, it made me see that I had not dealt with my past trauma at all, and ignoring it did not mean it had gone, it just meant it was sitting inside me,still affecting my behaviour in insidious ways.I still lived in fear,of speaking up,of annoying anyone. Getting the help I needed has changed all that,and I am now back to my good old self, before all of those things changed me. So yes, I’m very glad I did it.
You’ve been very open about recognising you needed help and the actions you took to get it, you also talk about both you and Nick getting counselling as a team,supporting each other – what would you say to someone reading this who feels its weak or that they’ve failed if they can’t manage and are thinking that they might need some outside In coaching we often talk about the language we use help? and how it affects our mindset. Having gone Don’t! It is an absolute fallacy that there is weakness in through what you have and done so much self- work, seeking help,and if there was one thing I could change about our British way of thinking it would be to change our attitude would you say you are much more aware of how you talk about yourself, describe yourself? What towards therapy.We all know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a difference has it made to those around you, hearing different result.And yet this is exactly what we do with our you talk in a more positive empowering way? relationships and even our own behaviour.Therapy is about learning why you behave in the way you do and helping you think of alternatives by shifting your perspective.In couples it is about learning to communicate in a way that is helpful to you both,which is hugely important.Never think of going to therapy as failing or being the last resort! It is healthy and helpful.
Yes, yes yes! Very much so. I realised that all my self-talk was negative. I looked at my body and instantly saw what was wrong with it. At my worst during the build-up to my breakdown, my whole outlook was negative, afraid and angry with the world.
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I couldn’t see any good in anything.Working on that side of myself was really difficult because we don’t realise what a habit we fall into when it comes to the language we use every day. I had to consciously reverse it, until now it feels natural - but it was a struggle at first and I raged internally every time I forced myself to feel grateful and positive. For anyone reading this and feeling the same,I can tell you - it works and it’s worth it.Seeing the world through kind eyes again has been a reset, and it had helped me be more patient again,and not rise to things that would have completely pissed me off!
You have a daughter and stepdaughters, if you had to pick a significant piece of learning to share with them that you know would help them on their journey into womanhood, what would it be and why? “ Living a life you love doesn’t mean that all problems magically disappear, things will still go wrong, but hopefully after reading the book you’ll have the right mindset to deal with them, overcome them, and simply keep going.”
I am very aware of the language that is used around girls and women - the constant comparison to the physicality of others, the dimming of your light so you don’t annoy anyone. Our house is filled with teenage girls and I encourage them to feel good about themselves and their individuality, to not just follow the crowd because everyone else is. Be brave. Be a unicorn in a field of cows. And if people don’t like it, fuck ‘em.
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Your book aims to teach people how to live, learn and thrive but what I love is that none of it is perfect, it’s real, your outlook is so refreshing and at no point do you patronise the reader.This seems an obvious thing to say but as a coach,I constantly see people making claims to “help you live the life you love” without explaining that it takes hard work and determination to do so.What would you say has been the hardest part of this journey for you? I think for me, like everyone, it’s the effort it takes to stay consistent.We all start out with great intentions, all fired up with enthusiasm, but it’s the effort of keeping going that leaves most people by the wayside. My whole point of writing the book was to say, as I do in the very first lines of it,“Shit happens”and give people a mixture of a friendly kick up the backside to stop whining and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, and a supporting arm to let them know that they are doing great.Stop thinking that it’s‘OK for other people’,that they clearly have an advantage that you don’t have - even if you’re absolutely right and they do.That doesn’t matter - we are talking about you and what you are going to do. Living a life you love doesn’t mean that all problems magically disappear, there will still be shit, things will still go wrong, but hopefully after reading the book you’ll have the right mindset to deal with them, overcome them, and simply keep going. That’s the consistency part, and it’s hard, but it’s worth it! And if you’re wondering whether you have what it takes to do this, ask yourself what it’s costing you not to do it.What’s it costing you in how you feel about yourself, your relationship, your job, your life? If you’d rather stay unhappy, frustrated, disillusioned and fed up, then carry on doing nothing, because that’s how your life and all those feelings you’ve got about it will stay. But make some changes and commit to them? Wow.The rewards are contentment, enthusiasm and love of life. I’ve been in both places - and I know which one I prefer.
Going right back to the beginning of your book, you talk about harnessing the fire inside of us, allowing it to“warm you from the inside, filling you with energy and strength” you are so obviously on fire right now, what’s next for you. What will you be using that energy for in your life? I am working flat out right now to bring my book to life!The feedback I’ve had has been incredible, and I want to help women take that fired-up enthusiasm and build on it even further. I want to give them even greater tools of self-belief to chase their dreams and support them while they do so. I’m bringing together the experts I refer to in the book, plus many others to bring master classes of their expertise that can be seen, heard and felt not just read. I am super excited about this as I know it will take my mission to empower women to feel on fire to a whole new level I can’t wait! This Girl Is on Fire: How to Live, Learn and Thrive in a Life You Love
Buy Andrea's book HERE @andreamclean1 @officialtgiof
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FRANK Breath Break Create the quiet Find a comfortable place where you can sit without distractions for at least 15 minutes. Sit or lay down comfortably. Close your eyes and focus within. Focus your attention on your breath. Breathe in and out.Feel the movement of your in and out breaths. Or say an affirmation (a positive statement about yourself and life). Focus on your heartbeat. Or use any other method with which helps you feel relaxed. If you notice your mind thinking,that’s okay,just bring your focus back to your technique. When you have finished meditating, give yourself a few moments to slowly get back into the activities of your day.
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How understanding your Ayurvedic dosha can greatly improve your sleep By Jo Webber - Ayurvedic practitioner and Head of Herbal Education at Pukka Herbs
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ith around 1 in 3 people have problems with sleep (UK Mental Health Foundation), there is growing interest in how we can help ourselves to sleep better.In the last 50 years the average number of sleeping hours an individual gets has reduced from 8 to 7 hours: this is a full month of sleep each year (National Sleep Foundation). There are different types of insomnia such as ‘type 1’- difficulty falling asleep and ‘type 2’- waking during the night with difficulty falling back to sleep. Sleep can also be affected by common health issues such as anxiety, depression, pain, restless leg syndrome and nocturia (needing to urinate at night). Many effects of a lack of sleep, such as feeling grumpy and not working at your best, are well known. However, not getting enough sleep has been linked to a range of mental and physical health issues including obesity, heart disease and diabetes – and shortens your life expectancy. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Ayurveda offers deep insights into the nature of sleep problems and what we can do about it. Vata, pitta and kapha are the mind body types that help us to understand why our body functions in certain ways, but also how we can best help ourselves. Ayurveda views sleep issues as a disturbance of the nervous system, which is mainly regulated by vata dosha. This dosha has natural qualities such as being cold, light, subtle, and erratic and is easily disturbed by too much sensory stimulation, too much food, too much time pressure and too much to do. An understanding of your dosha mind body type can clarify what sleep problems you might be prone too, and how to bring yourself back to a more balanced state through diet and lifestyle suggestions. Herbs can also be a great source of support. Sleep is named as one of the three supports of life in Ayurveda and it is stated that if sleep happens at the right times then you remain free from disease, cheerful, strong, endowed with good complexion and sexual potency and can live to 100 years! Sleep offers time for the body to repair and recharge itself. If we did not sleep we could not live. Interestingly, between the hours of 10pm-2am is where physical repair processes happen. Between 2am-6am is where psychological repair processes get going- essentially the brain gets cleaned. But how much do we need? There is no simple answer to this, as we are all different. So we can bust the sleep myths that you must get 8 hours a night. What a person needs is very individual and may be anything from 4-10 hours. There is also a myth that you need less sleep as you get older. However, most older people need the same sleep as they did when they were younger. They may just take it at different times - like napping - and thus have shorter nights for that reason. There is also a perception that napping is bad for you night’s sleep. Most animals nap throughout the day and night – cat naps- and it is likely to be a biological pattern that we could use if we needed to. The most effective naps may be in the early mid-afternoon when energies commonly dip. A short nap at this time - a siesta or 'power nap' - can be very helpful. However napping is not for everyone, as we will see.
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Improve Sleep When trying to improve sleep, it’s helpful to develop good sleep habits. 'Sleep hygiene' works on the idea that many sleep problems are due to bad habits built up over time. Here are some top tips for all: * Maintain some regularity so go to bed and get up at the same time each day. * Get up if you cannot stay asleep and read for a little, or have a warm herbal tea before trying to go back to sleep again. * Only using your bedroom only for sleep and sex (not as an office or media centre!). * Try massaging the soles of the feet with coconut or sesame oil just before bed. The connection between the feet and sleep isn’t intuitively obvious but it really helps in calming a buzzing mind. * You can also massage your head, with or without oil, which is very relaxing. * Breathing techniques as you lie in bed are really helpful, such as inhaling for a count or 3 or 4 and exhaling to a count of 6 or 8. This helps relax the nervous system. It’s clear everyone has different sleep needs. However there are many reasons why we may not be getting what we need. Ayurveda, the traditional Indian science of wellness, offers a unique insight into why some people are vulnerable to disturbed sleep, whilst others can have an expresso just before bed and still sleep like a baby. An understanding of your Ayurvedic dosha (or unique mind body type) can offer a unique understanding into what sort of issues may be affecting your sleep. Knowing your dosha can also provide some simple diet and lifestyle changes that can help. If you don’t know your dosha you can do our dosha quiz by joining the Pukka Collective at www.pukkaherbs.com
Herbal Support Paradoxically, sleep is a busy time for the body. External activities are definitely switched off, but the body uses the time to get on with important housekeeping. So, you need your 'batteries' charged up to run a decent sleep. Many insomnia problems may be due to having 'low batteries'. The job then is to break the vicious cycle that prevents sleep recharging your batteries by recharging them in other ways- by getting sleep when you can (napping), gentle regular exercise, relaxation techniques, nourishing diet and using traditional tonic herbal medicines. Ashwagandha is a key herb for helping calm anxious nerves, whilst also being a powerful tonic. Valerian is another traditional sleeping tonic and natural sedative, traditionally used to support rest during convalescence. Both herbs are key ingredients in Pukka’s Night time supplement- a relaxing formula to support an undisturbed and refreshing night’s sleep. Pukka’s Night Time tea is a sweet and soothing blend to encourage a blissfully restful sleep. It also contains valerian, as well as lavender flower, oatstraw, chamomile flower and limeflower to soothe, calm and ground your body and mind.
Vata sleep tips Vata types (or those with a vata imbalance) are generally more alert and wakeful, with this dosha being linked with nervous expression and movement. Though aggravated vata can cause problems falling asleep, it is much more likely to cause waking and being unable to get back to sleep between 2 and 6am. Vata types are generally light sleepers, often relying on black out blinds, earplugs and eye masks and preferring a soft, cosy bed. Vata is also behind issues such as teeth grinding, sleep walking and sleep talking. This type also dreams a lot, with active, busy dreams.
Ayurveda offers some tips tailored to your dosha type. For high energy Vata types, getting a regular routine is really important. Sleep by 9.30pm if you can, latest by 10pm. These types are also encouraged to get plenty of rest, or cat-naps, at any time of the day. Practices such as Yoga savasana (final relaxation) and yoga nidra are also great. Diet wise, cutting out caffeine can really help- this type may not be able to tolerate a coffee even after breakfast. Vata reducing, grounding teas containing herbs such as Pukka’s Three Licorice, Pukka Three fennel, or Pukka Tulsi Clarity taken throughout the day and especially in the evening will allow the mind to calm a lot quicker come bed time. Eating warming, cooked foods is also best for this dosha. Winding down early evening with a warm bath and some gentle yoga stretches is helpful, avoiding anything too stimulating
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Pitta sleep tips Pitta types (or those with a pitta imbalance) tend to sleep for a medium duration, somewhere between vata and kapha types. Difficulty falling asleep is the classic pitta-type sleep disorder as high pitta can be mentally stimulating, overwhelming any desire to sleep. This type can become ‘night owls’ between 10pm and 2am, when pitta dominates. They may also be more restless in the night, preferring fewer covers with their tendency to overheat and have fiery dreams.
Ayurveda offers some tips tailored to your dosha type. Determined and driven Pitta types can get more restful sleep by generally aiming for more moderation and balance, in both work and play. Its key to limit distractions and stimuli in the evening, such as screens, in order to be able to get to sleep around 10pm. Keeping your bedroom cool with plenty of ventilation is also helpful. A simple evening meal with less spice and limiting coffee and alcohol will also help. Teas containing chamomile, rose, mint or licorice will cool and soothe pitta throughout the day, and are especially useful in the evening.
Kapha sleep tips Kapha types (or those with a kapha imbalance) tend to be heavy sleepers, not easily disturbed or awakened. However, they are more likely to have sleep apnoea (breathing difficulties) and wake up needing to urinate at night. They love being a in a soft bed, with lots of warm covers, and enjoy calm dreams. This type needs less sleep but has a tendency to get more than is physiologically necessary. This can lead to feelings of heaviness and difficulties in waking up.
Ayurveda offers some tips tailored to your dosha type. Relaxed, laid back Kapha types mostly sleep very well, but if not aim for more stimulation, exercise and activity in the day to balance this dosha. It’s also important to avoid heavy, sweet foods in the evening such as wheat, cheese and yoghurt. Like exercise, eating a light dinner such as a bowl of soup, encourages more lightness throughout the sleep cycle and will generally improve the quality of sleep as well. It is best to finish dinner at least three hours prior to bedtime. Invigorating teas such as those with ginger, clove, pepper, turmeric or cinnamon will stimulate and revitalise this dosha. This type should never nap in the day, as this is very aggravating for this dosha. Its also best for them not to have a lie-in but to get up as close to 6 am as they feel able. For more information on herbs to help you sleep and support your dosha type visit
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F R A N K
I N T E R V I E W
OWEN O’KANE
a psychotherapist and author of the globally acclaimed and Sunday Times best seller book, Ten To Zen talks to us about mental health, therapy, tips to help with anxiety and his latest book Ten Times Happier. Owen has over 25 years’ experience in physical and mental health and is a former NHS Mental Health Clinical lead. He now runs a successful private practice in London.
“As we navigate our way through uncertain times, many people are turning to therapy, meditation, self-help or podcast as a way of finding comfort and seeking guidance.” www.thefrankmagazine.com
How did you first decide that being a therapist was example, that with anxiety issues, this can be unhelpful. for you? Prior to training as a therapist, I worked as a clinical nurse specialist with people who were terminally ill. During this period, I realised that the majority of suffering was linked to psychological pain. I didn’t feel adequately equipped to deal with acute psychological distress which in turn motivated me to re-train as a psychotherapist. I’ve never looked back.I love my job and it’s hugely satisfying to work alongside people as they transform their lives.
Had you ever been in therapy yourself? Yes. Most therapists have their own therapist and a supervisor to discuss cases. It’s like a chain of support that is incredibly useful. I believe a therapist can’t effectively support other people unless they know what their own struggles are. I first went to therapy when I was ‘coming out’ as gay in my early 20’s. I grew up in Catholic Ireland and at that time there was a lot of shame attached to sexuality.Therapy helped me deal with that shame and work towards selfacceptance.This in turn helps me in my work, particularly when I identify shamed based patterns. I know there is a way forward.
What does it take to be a good therapist? This is a great question as I think there are many misconceptions what‘good therapy’is. Ultimately,I think it’s probably better to consider what contributes to being an effective therapist. Here are my top 5 tips for identifying a ‘good (effective) therapist.’
1. Someone who isn’t afraid to challenge and bring you
5.
Someone with real life experience who, apart from professional training, understands human struggle.
When and how did your book 'Ten to Zen’ manifest? I was teaching workshops for corporate organisation on how they could practically use mindfulness and other techniques to quieten the mind, but in just ten minutes a day! Most people don’t have time for lengthier programmes. One afternoon, I finished teaching a workshop and someone approached me suggesting I write a book. It immediately felt right. They suggested I contact a publisher and from that Ten to Zen emerged. Within a year I had a book deal and by the end of 2018 the book was launched,
Tell us about its success. Why do you think it ignited in the way that it did? Ten to Zen went to No 3 in the charts beaten only by Joe Wicks and Michelle Obama, becoming a Sunday Times Best Seller and translating into 15 languages. It was my first book, so as you can imagine it was an enormous shock that it exploded the way it did. I think there were a few factors that contributed to this. I was offering something time based and clinically evidenced. At the time I was an NHS Clinical Lead with 25 years’ experience in physical and mental health. I was also telling some of my own story which I think resonated with many people. Ultimately it is a very practical, down to earth book on how to quieten the mind quickly and think in ways that are more helpful. It’s a book for everyone and very much of our time.
to places of discomfort that will ultimately lead to freedom.
How much has the demand for guidance escalated in these uncertain times?
2. Someone who has a humane, non-judgemental
I have never been busier in my entire career and I think this is true for many of my colleagues. As we navigate our way through uncertain times, many people are turning to therapy, meditation, self-help or podcast as a way of finding comfort and seeking guidance. I suspect this is one of the hopeful aspects of recent times. People are turning inwards more, and re-evaluating what’s
approach.
3.Someone with solid professional training,experience and accreditation.
4.Someone who will use sessions wisely with an agenda, structure and a collaborative approach. It’s never terribly helpful if it’s just a conversation or providing endless reassurance. We know from the research, for
important.
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“As we navigate our way through uncertain times, many people are turning to therapy, meditation, self-help or podcast as a way of finding comfort and seeking guidance.” Diagnosis of the problem is absolutely key obviously. Why do you think things can go undetected with mental health issues? I think diagnosis can be important, particularly with more complex psychiatric conditions. Often with the correct treatment and medication, people improve significantly. However, I also think there is a danger of over pathologising mental health. Every one of us will experience variations in our mood, anxiety levels and how we cope with life. This is part of human experience and normalising this has never been more important. 100% of people have mental health, just as they have physical health. Sometimes it’s just about knowing when to ask for help. My advice to anyone reading this is, if managing independently is becoming a struggle, talk so someone. There is always a way forward. One of the symptoms of menopause is anxiety, once identified it can be a relief to sufferers. It’s something to pin it on. Bringing rational to a troubled mind seems to be a huge key. Would you agree? This is an important question as there are many hormonal changes during menopause that can influence levels of anxiety. I’ve treated many patients who have improved drastically with hormone regulation, hence the importance of talking to your doctor. Living with anxiety is hugely uncomfortable and it is difficult to access rational thinking when highly anxious. The key priority is to identify the underlying cause and then seek the appropriate treatments. It’s often psychological but there can be underlying physical issues.
What is an average day like for you? My days can vary considerably both personally and professionally. Personally, my constants are walking the dog, going for a run/ gym, meditation and trying to see a friend socially at some point in the day. Professionally I have a private clinic in London, but I also divide my time up writing books, contributing to press/media on mental health issues, delivering talks and getting involved in projects to promote better mental wellness. I’m busy most of the time but I believe passionately in what I do which fires me up.
Tell us about the latest book? My latest book came out in May 2020 and it’s called ‘Ten Times Happier’. It was released during the first lock down but thankfully it’s had a great response and is helping many people. In this book I identify the 10 areas I observe most people get ‘stuck’ around personal happiness. The book helps people not only recognise the problem areas but also how to become unstuck. This book is not a fluffy, magical thinking book on happiness, but it challenges people to take responsibility for their happiness and let go of what’s holding them back. I’m really excited and proud of this book.
“This book (Ten Times Happier) is not a fluffy, magical thinking book on happiness, but it challenges people to take responsibility for their happiness.”
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What are your personal tricks for taking the edge off anxiety?
Here are my top tips for taking the edge off anxiety. 1. Don’t run from anxiety, it’s trying to bring you back to a point of balance, let if guide you. Lean in more 2. Self-care is everything, exercise, diet, time out, balanced living, asking for help. This will help keep anxiety under control 3. Remember you are not your anxious thoughts. The research tells us 90% of what you worry about will never to come to anything 4. Anxiety is a normal response, sometimes it just becomes exaggerated 5. Anxiety is an intolerance of uncertainty. The more you can tolerate not knowing, the more comfortable your life will become. Owen O’Kane Psychotherapist, Former NHS lead and Sunday times Best-selling author. New book, Ten Times Happier (HQ-Harper Collins) out now. Instagram and Twitter @owenokaneten
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F R A N K
I N T E R V I E W
Health & Healing Natalie Smit-Ash Founder of Chillout Retreats
H
Interview by Kate Tilston
aving been lucky enough to work many needed the healing and nurturing with the Ash sisters at Chillout Retreats, I was experience that Chillout Retreats offers. really keen to interview the founder, Natalie to find out a bit more about the Chillout I know that you are the founder of Experience and what makes it different from Chillout but at what point did your other retreats. I was also intrigued to know how sisters join you and what made you all they would adapt post lockdown.
decide to work together?
What made you decide to set up Chillout Retreats? Health & healing is in my blood, I come from a healing and spiritual family with our grandparents living alongside the native American Indians, learning their crafts and medicinal ways. At a young age I realised the importance of taking time out to reconnect, unwind and relax from the pressures of daily life. Having reached crossroads in my own life, I went on many retreats myself before starting Chillout Retreats and so wanted to help others in the same way that retreats have helped me.
How long have you been established now? We celebrated our tenth anniversary last year on a retreat in Thailand‌ I started up in the recession back in 2009, many people thought it crazy but it was at this time of great stress that
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When I set the retreats up initially both my sisters were living and abroad, but as they returned the growth of the team became very organic and natural, my sister Lucie has always loved healthy cooking and so it made sense for her to join in. later on my other siter Mel, also a yoga teacher, got involved. Often, we have our mum helping out and even our daughters have been involved with welcoming and looking after guests‌.it really is a family affair!
One of the things that I love about working at Chillout Retreats is that it really allows people to actually chill out. Seeing people walk away at the end of a weekend looking re-energised and ready to face the world is such a great feeling. What is it you do to make sure their experience is so relaxing but energising? We have a very laid-back approach on retreat, hence the name ‘chillout’. You can do as much or as little as you like. Although we offer a full retreat schedule with classes, workshops and more, there is never any expectation or pressure to do anything. The whole ethos of the retreats is to listen to yourself and to switch off from the pressure of ‘to do lists’ and deadlines. Though it’s funny that everyone generally loves what we offer so much that they want to do all of it anyway, even if it does involve getting up for a detox shot first thing on a Sunday morning!
Knowing you all as I do, you are all very different and bring something unique to the table, is it tricky to manage sometimes? What are the benefits of working together as a family? Each of us have our own talents and strengths and when we combine them together, we all shine and can radiate knowing that we complement one another. We are not always on retreat together, but when we are it is truly magical, the energy is powerful, and our guests often comment on it and love this unique aspect of the Chillout experience. We have each other’s backs and there is a lot of love and respect amongst the team which makes managing retreats so much easier.
I know lots of people worry about going to things like retreats on their own for the first time, what would you say to them to reassure them? I have always had a great respect and admiration for those who step out of their comfort zone and who prioritise their own self-care. Coming on retreat by yourself is a very brave thing to do, but you will not be alone as we attract so many like-minded and friendly people, many of whom are on their own too. It is a wonderful opportunity to make new friends and connect with others who are probably feeling the same as you. Our family atmosphere is always a welcoming one which helps everyone to feel relaxed and at ease at the outset.
I’m interested to know how you look after your own mental wellbeing when a lot of your time is If you were describing the Chillout Experience to spent invested in others? our readers, how would you describe it? I think our guests describe it so well ‘A little piece of heaven’ and a ‘unique and rejuvenating moment in time’. We aim to provide our guests with the tools to help themselves, whether they find inner peace on a guided walk or meditation class or feel serenity and insight through yoga. The Chillout experience is about giving yourself the opportunity and time to reconnect with yourself again in comfort and unique surroundings that will make your soul smile.
Ah I have a wonderful friend and life coach who has taught me so much about the importance of my own selfcare and setting healthy boundaries. I realise now that I cannot pour from an empty tea pot, so I keep myself topped up with daily walks in nature, runs and bike rides with my dog Marley, my go to when I feel a little frazzled is to indulge in the spa when we are running Chillout retreats at Champneys and spending quality time with positive and uplifting friends and family always helps me to get my sparkle back.
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Obviously, the pandemic must have affected your business hugely, how do you move forward from here and when you do return, what will be different? Yes, like so many, the pandemic has sent shock waves and is a game changer. Luckily the team and I have been very dynamic and quick to adapt to the online world by offering yoga classes and day retreats online, which have been a joy to do. These have enabled us to provide a continued sense of community, connection and support to others throughout this era of great change. My mantra is always ‘quality v’s quantity’ and so moving forward we are focusing mainly on our UK based retreats, the guest numbers on retreat will be smaller, we will naturally be covid conscious, adhering to all the procedures to keep our guests and team safe and secure. Less is often more and so with smaller group sizes comes a lovely intimacy and an improved focus on teaching too.
I know from personal experience how rewarding retreats can be, what is it you love most about running them because I know they can be quite exhausting for the organisers? There is such a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes for all of our retreats. Though with years of experience, we have developed an ease and flow, things run much smoother knowing what works and what does not. For me, the best part of any retreat is meeting and spending time with our guests…we attract such a wonderful array of interesting, friendly people and its lovely to hear stories and find out about everyone’s reason for coming on retreat, then watching people as they grow and develop throughout their Chillout experience. When our guests leave, they are positively glowing and that is the greatest feeling for us as a team, knowing that we have helped make a positive impact and difference in their lives.
I started up the retreat business as a mother of two small children, which certainly presents its own challenges. I have always put 'family first' and design my workload around them.
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helping our guests to become the very best version of themselves too.
Why would you say the majority of your client’s book to go on retreat? I would say that people are looking for a moment of calm and serenity in an otherwise crazy and face paced world, to hit the pause button on the daily stress and demands of daily life. We all need to take a rest, to reconnect our mind, body and soul, to rejuvenate our batteries and booking onto a Chillout Retreat is a great way to start.
You have some retreats in some wonderful places both here in the UK and abroad, do you have a dream destination where you’d like to run a retreat?
The food is always spectacular on a Chillout Retreat, with your sister Lucie providing both nourishing and delicious meals, how important is that side of the business and why?
I have this theory that the reason why our returning guest rate is consistently high has a lot to do with the tastiness of Lucie’s food! Initially inspired by our Italian mum and grandmother, she is now a qualified nutritionist she Without a doubt…COSTA RICA. I think the beauty and ensures that each dish is designed with health and abundance of nature is what attracts me the most. Being nutritional optimisation in mind and is always happy to share her knowledge to help others to help themselves. immersed in the tropical wildlife, forests and beautiful Her recent trip around the world with her young family beaches would be so energising, healing and good for the has inspired a wealth of new flavours and culinary soul. I hear the surf is pretty awesome there too! It’s creations that help everyone to feel amazing and boost definitely up there on my retreat buckets list…so watch immunity levels at the same time which is so crucial in this space! todays ‘new normal’.
Tell me a bit more about you, who is Natalie Smit-Ash? I started up the retreat business as a mother of two small children, which certainly presents its own challenges. I have always put 'family first' and design my workload around them. Often retreats happen at weekends and involve a couple of weeks away each year, which leaves the majority of my time fully immersed in the joys of raising a family. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband who appreciates that I love what I do and therefore I become a better version of myself. I feel a great sense of fulfilment, satisfaction and happiness knowing that I am following all of my dreams and creating a positive role model for my children. As a wife & mother, I naturally feel a great sense of nurturing & healing towards others and that is what I believe also makes Chillout so special, the whole team come from a place of love, determination and vision
What are the 3 things you’d like to hear your clients say as they leave the retreat and perhaps chat with their friends about their experience? We often have our guests leave telling us that… ‘They feel amazing and truly inspired’, and ‘They felt instantly at ease, included and comfortable’ and finally that they ‘cannot wait to come back, next time with family & friends’. This is the greatest gift and is why we love what we do. Email Nat@chilloutretreats.com Web: chilloutretreats.com Tel: 0800 078 7944 Instagram & FB: chillout retreats
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W E L L B E I N G
Seasonal
Affective
Disorder
Gillian McKeith,
Nutritionist and Dietetic specialist is known the world over for her ability to turn around even the worst eaters and set dieters on the path of living healthier and happier lives. Gillian is the author of nine internationally best-selling books and is also the star of several hit television shows including ‘You Are What You Eat ‘and ‘Eat Yourself Sexy’. Join the Gillian McKeith WeightLoss and Wellness Club at www.gillianmckeith.com
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a condition in which sufferers become depressed and lethargic during the winter months. Symptoms include fatigue, apathy, weight gain, craving comfort foods, overeating and anxiety.
Causes The production of melatonin by the pineal gland in the brain is triggered by daylight. Melatonin helps to set the daily rhythm and impacts on mood. Serotonin, known as a feel-good chemical, is a precursor to melatonin. During the winter the pineal may not be exposed to enough daylight for it to have the full effect. Serotonin and melatonin levels are likely to be reduced due to shorter days, increased cloud cover and little time spent outside with subsequent effects on mood and energy.
Mind and Mood Your brain is like a complex chemistry kit, and if the balance isn’t quite right, mind and mood problems can result. You may have heard of neurotransmitters, chemicals which the brain uses to communicate with the rest of the body. The main ones are called dopamine, adrenalin, noradrenalin and serotonin and they’re made entirely
from molecules derived from food, air and water. Poor nutrition and lifestyle can easily upset your brainchemical balance. The brain requires a steady supply of glucose to function properly. In particular, steer clear of caffeine and alcohol. You can argue as much as you like that they perk you up, but in the long term they will mess up your mood – believe me! Swap your cuppa for a thirst-quenching glass of water instead, as good hydration is the best brain booster. And a cup of nettle tea (packed with nutrients) as a mid-day ‘pick-me-up’ which can work wonders.
"Your brain is like a complex chemistry kit, and if the balance isn’t quite right, mind and mood problems can result."
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"Get outside in daylight every morning. This is important for setting the body’s rhythms and moods." www.thefrankmagazine.com
Action plan There are many nutritional ways to help with SAD through supporting your energy levels and mood. EAT Whole grains. Complex carbohydrates, such as those found in wholegrain brown rice, quinoa, millet, oats and rye, improve the transport of tryptophan into the brain. Here, tryptophan is converted to serotonin, the feel-good chemical. Other tryptophan-rich foods include bananas, chicken, salmon, turkey, oats, brown rice and products such as tempeh and tofu. Brewer’s yeast flakes. These are high in the B vitamins, which are needed for normal brain chemistry. Avoid these if you are intolerant to yeast. Pumpkin, hemp, sunflower and flax seeds. These contain zinc and essential fats, both vital for brain function and hormonal balance.
effective as anti- depressant medications but with fewer side effects. Do not take this if you are on other medications. Drink lemon balm, peppermint and camomile teas. These all have anti- depressive and calming properties. Supplement with fish oils. These are important for normalizing brain chemistry and are often deficient in those with depressive disorders. Consider supplementing with Vitamin D 3. Vitamin D receptors are distributed in the brain and play a vital role in the development of neurotransmitters in our brain. Vitamin D levels in the UK general population are at epidemic levels of deficiency due to the lack of exposure to sunlight.
AVOID /Limit Wheat, as overconsumption of wheat is occasionally linked to depression and lack of energy. Many wheat products today are more glutenous in their makeup. Non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS), linked to depressive disorders is a syndrome characterised by intestinal symptoms related to the ingestion of gluten-containing food in those who are not suffering from celiac disease or exhibiting wheat allergies. Symptoms in addition to depression may manifest as abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhoea or constipation. Foods that cause slumps in energy and mood. Added Sugars, alcohol, caffeine, refined carbohydrates and processed foods all cause highs followed by lows. You may crave these comfort foods but they just might perpetuate feelings of sluggishness and depression in the long term.
"Low levels of Vitamin D have been linked to SAD and depression in general."
HERBS AND SUPPLEMENTS Supplement with St John’s wort. This can keep levels of serotonin up and has been found to be as www.thefrankmagazine.com
BLOOD SUGAR/ENERGY BALANCE It can be helpful to do all that can to keep blood sugar levels stable. If you do not balance your blood-sugar levels, then every day you are potentially sending your body and mind on a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. And you will probably be a bit of a moody so and so to boot, regardless of sunlight access. There are many health problems, big and small, that can be traced to a blood-sugar imbalance caused by food choices.
A quick Gillian McKeith masterclass: Through the day, your body requires a steady supply of glucose in the bloodstream for mental and physical energy.When we eat complex carbohydrates such as fruits and vegetables, beans, pulses and whole-grains, they release glucose into the bloodstream at a nice steady rate. But refined and sugary foods (such as chocolate, biscuits, cakes, fizzy drinks, sweets or white pasta/rice/bread) break down very quickly and cause an unwanted, rapid rise in blood sugar. This prompts a surge of insulin followed by a dramatic drop in blood sugar (hypoglycaemia).That’s when you can get the afternoon energy slumps, feel shaky, tired, confused and, surprise surprise, crave more sugar.This yo-yoing causes a host of everyday symptoms and can lead to significant health problems including heart disease and type 2 diabetes. It sounds complicated, but fortunately the solution is worth the effort. Eat regular meals and healthy snacks, never skip breakfast (even if you just eat a little bit… just something to break the fast) and avoid refined or sugary foods, caffeine and alcohol. No one who has made this change has ever said to me, ‘You know what, Gillian, I think I prefer how I felt before’!
EXTRA ‘SAD’ TIPS Get outside in daylight every morning. This is important for setting the body’s rhythms and moods. Exercise every day, preferably outside. Aim for at least 20 minutes daily. Do anything you enjoy: cycling, walking, jogging, rollerblading, skipping and re- bounding are all good for getting the heart rate up and triggering the release of endorphins in the brain. These are feel- good chemicals released during exercise. Use full-spectrum light bulbs. Light is measured in lux; a normal light bulb will light a room to up to about 800 lux. A room lit with full spectrum lighting will have about 10,000 lux. You can also help to maximize your light intake by keeping curtains and blinds open as well as working near a window. Investigate light boxes and light therapy. Light therapy is also known as Heliotherapy. Light therapy boxes shine a bright light that will mimic natural outdoor light. Light therapy requires the individual to be exposed to specific wavelengths of light from polychromatic polarised light. The aim is to restore the body’s reaction to light, increase melatonin and support the body’s natural circadian system. Mood and sleep tend to improve after treatment. Consult with your Medical Physician before taking supplements or making any Lifestyle changes. Extract from Gillian McKeith’s Food bible A-Z Guide to a Healthy Life
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H E A L T H
&
W E L L
B E I N G
Collagen 101: Have we finally found the Holy Grail of Anti-Aging? For decades, women have been looking for the answer to aging gracefully. Since the 1950’s, when stars like Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn graced our screens in colour, women have been inspired to take care of their appearance. Pears soap and Pond’s cold cream became household names, and now, 70 years later, we are still on the lookout for the holy grail of anti-
Dr. Naomi Newman-Beinart is a Nutritionist (BSc) and a Specialist in Health Psychology (PhD).
One issue that comes up time and time again, is knowing what products really work for everyone. It is impractical and expensive to experiment with numerous skin creams, gels, treatments and supplements. So, how can we decide what is most likely to work? Research is the answer. Over the past 10 years or so, thousands of people have participated in high quality research studies to find out the effects of taking oral collagen peptides. But why has collagen become the focus of such research? Because we know that in our early to mid-30s, we notice the first telltale signs of wrinkles around our eyes. We may also notice aches in our joints for the first time, which we now know coincides with the slowing down of our body’s natural collagen production.
whilst increasing elasticity and firmness, improving skin hydration and moisture, and strengthening the dermal matrix to reduce the appearance of cellulite and stretch marks. The great news is that this is just the tip of the iceberg - collagen not only improves skin health, but can also strengthen your bones and joints. Studies show the positive effects of collagen peptides on postmenopausal women with low bone mineral density. So not only will you look and feel younger on the outside, your body will be defying age on the inside.
More great news about collagen peptides is that they generally have no flavour, and so can be mixed in with your smoothie, herbal tea or even coffee. Collagen powder can be taken morning or night, on an empty stomach or after a meal. Science tells us that we need to take up to 10g This abundance of research has almost exclusively found of collagen peptides per day to gain maximum benefits, which equates to roughly two heaped tablespoons. It’s that healthy collagen levels are essential as they play an tasteless and really easy to use on a daily basis. Nearly all important role in the strength and resilience of our skin, of the research studies examining the effectiveness of and are responsible for skin elasticity, smoothness and taking oral collagen peptides, recommend taking collagen hydration. Numerous studies show that collagen synthesis can be promoted with the oral intake of collagen on a daily basis so it’s best to find whatever works for you peptides and can reduce lines, wrinkles and sagging skin, and create a healthy habit. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Here is my collagen 101 on everything you need to know about this anti-ageing, beauty and health enhancing super food. What is collagen and where is it found? Collagen is the most abundant protein in your body. There are over 20 types, but type 1 consists of over 90% of all collagen. Collagen is made up of amino acids, they differ in the amount of amino acid present in the particular type of collagen. When collagen is hydrolysed, it’s broken down into its constituent amino acids, which are the essential building material to renew cells throughout the body including skin, hair, nails, eyes, teeth, cartilage, ligaments, tendons, muscles, joints, bones, internal organs, blood vessels, and the immune system.
How does collagen powder benefit women over 40? We need a collagen supplement to replace what we lose with age. Did you know that after the age of 18 our collagen levels start to drop, and this accelerates by 1.5% per year from the age of 30? This drop further accelerates for women with the onset of menopause. Since ancient times humans have consumed more collagen than we do now, and it’s been an important source of nutrition. But modern food processing has removed collagen from our diets, and supplementing with collagen is important to regenerate our bodies for a fuller, active life.
What are the top benefits of taking collagen supplements? There has been an abundance of research investigating the benefits of taking collagen, and here is a summary of the findings:
Taking oral collagen Improves skin elasticity, skin hydration and reduces the visibility of aging In 2018 a double-blind, placebo- controlled study was carried out to investigate the effects of oral collagen peptides on skin. This study is considered the “gold standard” for this type of research, as neither the
participants or researchers know which people are taking collagen and which are taking a placebo supplement. The researchers gave 40-60 year old women daily oral collagen and found significant improvements in skin hydration, wrinkling and elasticity (i.e. tightening of the skin) after only 12 weeks when compared to women who took a placebo supplement. Similar results were found in other “gold standard” studies by Proksch and colleagues in 2013 and Asserin and colleagues in 2015. These two studies included women aged 35 to 59 years of age who were given daily oral collagen or a placebo supplement. These researchers found statistically significant improvements in skin elasticity after both 4 and 8 weeks (Proksch et al.) and skin hydration after 8 weeks (Asserin et al.). The above research suggests that taking oral collagen can improve skin hydration, elasticity and wrinkling in women aged between 35-60. So, what are you waiting for?
Encourages strong bones in women after menopause Numerous studies have investigated the role of oral collagen peptides and its effects of bone mineral density in post-menopausal women with either osteopenia or osteoporosis (aged approx. 55 to 70). König and colleagues (2018) found that taking 5g of collagen daily for 12 months improved bone mineral density in the neck and lumbar spine, whereas women taking a placebo supplement showed no significant improvements.
''Collagen powder can be taken morning or night, on an empty stomach or after a meal. Science tells us that we need to take up to 10g of collagen peptides per day to gain maximum benefits, which equates to roughly two heaped tablespoons''
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Researchers Argyrou and colleagues (2020) gave 5g of daily collagen to post-menopausal women with osteopenia, together with calcium (500mg elemental calcium) and vitamin D3 (400iu). They measured blood levels of two “bone formation markers” called P1NP and CTX. Bone markers measure bone turnover, which is the process of bone tissue breaking down and new bone tissue growing in its place. As we get older, our rate of bone turnover increases and often, old bone tissue breaks down faster than our body is able to replace it. This process leads to bone density loss and eventually, osteopenia and osteoporosis. Argyrou and colleagues found that women who took daily oral collagen together with calcium and vitamin D for 3 months, showed decreased P1NP and CTX levels, which means that their bone turnover had slowed down. Interestingly, women who took only calcium and vitamin D for the same 3 month period showed no changes in bone marker levels. Both of the studies discussed here provide excellent evidence that oral collagen peptide supplementation can improve both bone density and bone markers in postmenopausal women. This suggests that collagen supplementation may be useful to help reduce the risk of bone density disorders and delay the onset of osteoporosis.
Encourages healthy joints & repair There have been more than 60 scientific studies displaying the positive effects of taking oral collagen peptides for degenerative joint diseases such as osteoarthritis. But how do the collagen peptides do this? Clinical research has shown that the peptides stimulate regeneration of collagenic tissues by increasing the production of collagen, thus providing the body with what it needs to increase collagen levels as they naturally decline with age. Researchers, Juher and Pérez (2015), collated all of the available 60 studies and found strong evidence that taking 10g of collagen peptides daily reduced collagen damage, reduced joint pain and reduced erosion of joints (osteoarthritis). They also recorded feedback from thousands of participants in these studies and found that collagen peptides were tolerated well (i.e. were free from negative side-effects) and had excellent digestibility and bioavailability, making collagen an attractive supplement to take for long-term use.
It can help weight management Some people have asked if they can gain weight from taking collagen supplements. Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that collagen supplementation has actually been found to support weight loss and weight management in
men and women who are overweight. There are many claims that certain supplements may help you to lose weight, but rarely is there any scientific research to back-up these types of claims. A few studies have investigated whether oral ingestion of collagen peptides may support weight loss, and these studies have shown promising results. For example, Zdzieblik and colleagues (2015) measured fat mass using DEXA x-rays in men aged 68 – 77 years of age who took 15g of collagen peptides after resistance exercise training (3 x a week) for 12 weeks. Compared to men who took a placebo supplement, the researchers found that fat mass decreased, and muscle strength increased, significantly more in those who took collagen after exercise. These results suggest that oral collagen may increase the fat reducing effects of exercise, alongside the benefits of joint and bone support mentioned in research above. Another recent “gold standard” study investigated the effects of daily ingestion of oral marine collagen peptides in overweight men and women aged 30 – 50. After 12 weeks, Tak and colleagues (2019) found that percentage of body fat and body fat mass (kg) (measured using DEXA) were significantly improved in those who took daily collagen compared to those who took a placebo supplement. These results suggest that there is potential for the use of collagen peptides in the reduction of body fat in overweight adults.
It promotes healthy hair and hair growth Another great reason to add collagen to your daily routine is because collagen is made up of amino acids, which are then used to make different proteins, such as keratin which makes up your hair, skin and nails. Age and stress are a couple of factors that can cause your rate of hair growth to change. Most people will experience some hair loss as they age, as production of new hairs can slow over time. Collagen can help to protect your follicles against damage and help your hair grow long and healthy to the best of its ability.
''There have been more than 60 scientific studies displaying the positive effects of taking oral collagen peptides for degenerative joint diseases such as osteoarthritis''
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Try Correxiko’s Collagen Powder Correxiko is manufactured in Canada and packed in GMP Certified facilities in the UK and USA. It’s gut friendly, Paleo, keto, kosher, non-GMO, gluten-free and with a Medical Doctor as its founder, Correxiko specializes in effective, results-led products and we achieve this using only clean effective bioavailable natural ingredients
How much collagen should you take? Science tells us that we need to take up to 10g of collagen peptides per day to gain maximum benefits. Collagen researchers have used between 2.5g and 10g of daily collagen in their investigations and have found positive effects at these levels. Positive effects on skin elasticity were found at 2.5 and 5g daily (e.g. Proksch et al., 2013). However, research investigating reduced joint pain and reduced erosion of joints (osteoarthritis), found positive effects for those taking 10g of daily collagen (e.g. Benito-Ruiz, 2009; Juher and Pérez, 2015). Studies showing improved bone density and bone markers in post-menopausal women used 5g of daily collagen (e.g. Argyrou et al., 2020; König et al., 2018). However, many of the women participating in this research also took calcium and vitamin D, so it is difficult to know if only 5g per day of collagen would provide the same positive effects on bone health.
How should I use the collagen powder? Collagen powder can be taken morning or night, on an empty stomach or after a meal. Mix 2 - 4 rounded tablespoons in water, juice, coconut water, smoothies or in a warm or cooled herbal tea. -led products and we achieve this by using only clean and effective ingredients.
Are there any side effects? Great news – when research studies evaluate the positive effects of collagen, they also find out how well the product is tolerated and if there are any side-effects. Researchers, Juher and Pérez (2015), collated information from approximately 60 studies where people took daily oral collagen peptides. They recorded feedback from thousands of participants who took part in these studies and found that collagen peptides were tolerated very well (i.e. were free from negative side-effects) and had excellent digestibility and bioavailability, making them an attractive supplement to take for long-term use. However, do note that it is important to use a high- quality product that has been tested for toxins and are deemed safe. This is important because marine collagen is sourced from fish and fish products can contain heavy metals. Collagen brands such as Correxiko, only source deep sea fish (cod, haddock, pollock) from pristine Canadian waters. All our batches are independently tested for heavy metals and other contaminants. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Collagen powder or pills, which is better? Hydrolysed collagen powder is immediately ready to be absorbed and utilised by your body, whereas taking the same product in pill form means that it may take a little longer for the capsule to break down and release the collagen into your body. Essentially, it is personal preference which you prefer to take. Some people like to have collagen powder to use at home and collagen pills to use at work or on a weekend away – it’s 100% your choice.
''The foundation of all good health and skin care, Correxiko’s Marine Collagen powder is amazing for Skin, Hair, Nails, Joints, Bones and Digestive health. Supports skin tone and elasticity, giving skin a radiant youthful appearance. Nourishes the hair follicle for new growth. Repairs and replenishes the collagen in cartilage, tendons and bones for superior joint flexibility and bone strength'' Does bone broth give you collagen? Yes, but ……. there is no scientific evidence to back up any claims that collagen from bone broth may provide the benefits you get from hydrolysed collagen powder. There will be some collagen in bone broth, but this will likely vary a great deal from broth to broth. Also, the collagen in bone broth will not be hydrolysed and therefore will be much harder work for your body to break down into its constituent amino acids for use by the body. So, if you are looking to use collagen to support a healthy body, you are best off following the results of the research and using a hydrolysed collagen powder at the recommended daily dose. Our grass-fed bovine collagen powder provides a standardised dosage of bovine collagen so you can be sure that you are getting an adequate amount of collagen to support your body’s needs each day.
What are the top 5 foods high in collagen? Fish is a great source of dietary collagen - but don’t forget the skin which contains a high concentration of Type 1 collagen! Collagen is also found in the connective tissues of animal foods, such as, chicken, beef and pork. Bone broth may be useful to provide some additional collagen to your diet. And lastly, don’t forget that a healthy diet should contain many items to help boost your collagen levels. Foods such as beans (amino acids), garlic (sulphur), berries (vitamin C), leafy green vegetables (chlorophyll), tomatoes (vitamin C) and eggs (proline) all contain nutrients that your body can use to support collagen growth.
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W E L L B E I N G
A R T I C L E
The power of YET vs the curse of ENOUGH By Rachel Ann Cullen
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‘We’ve been learning about something called ‘The Power of Yet’ today, Mum,’ she says, tucking into half a sausage roll on our walk home from school. It’s one of the perks of living near a farm shop.
It’s a big and generous concept. It stops kids quitting before they’ve really battled with their own internal belief system and reminds them that sometimes the answer isn’t always easy; it doesn’t always jump out from the page; the qualifying standard might take many, many attempts, and that giving up isn’t the right option: Word on the street is ‘it ain’t cool to quit, kids!’*
Hallelujah! Amen to that. Don’t quit folks! Keep going. Tally-ho! Crack on! Onwards and upwards, and all that. But then it got me thinking. When is enough ever enough? When does 'The Power of Yet’ turn on us and become some big old shitty stick with which we can beat ourselves? ‘Really? And what exactly is ‘the power of yet’ then, Tills? What if the right thing to do IS to quit? Move on. Leave it ’ I genuinely didn’t know. there. Accept our limitations. What happens to ‘The Power of Yet’ then? And furthermore, when ‘Well, if you can’t do something, then you put a ‘YET’ at are we enough? When are our accomplishments, the end of it,’ she explains, sounding like a teacher in a achievements, feathers in caps and certificates on walls, child’s body whilst processing her pork and pastry combo, enough? Are we forever doomed to kneel and worship at ‘… and it means that you just can’t do it – YET - but you the altar of The Power of Yet, deeming ourselves – and WILL be able to do it at some time in the future.’ any/all of our achievements - to be (offensively scrawled in red pen) ‘could do betters’ and ‘must try harders?’ What if ‘Wow! That’s a great way of looking at things, Tills,’ I we have tried our best? What if that is as close as we can reply, genuinely impressed with the whole notion of this possibly come to hitting the bulls’ eye? ‘turning obstacles into challenges’ and ‘stamping out defeatism’ vibe. What then? She continues, ‘So, I cried when I couldn’t work out why number 9 was the odd one out in maths today, out of 9, 12, You see, I’ve spent years in a silent, daily battle with The 20, 36 and 45, when Delilah could.’ I temporarily switch Curse of Enough. I’ve spent decades chasing, wrangling, off from her verbatim and drift into some dusty old and head-locking a little bastard chimp inside my head mental arithmetic corner of my mind where I divide and which told me that I simply wasn’t good enough… yet. I subtract, and race through my basic knowledge of prime numbers, before finally coming to the conclusion that this wasn’t fast enough… yet. Not thin enough… yet. Not is a test designed for very young children. How hard can it pretty enough… yet. Not successful enough… yet. Not GOOD enough… yet. That some illusory, unidentifiable be?? moment in time would occur in my future when I would She continues, ‘But then I thought that I just didn’t understand it YET [she emphasises the ‘yet’, delivering it reach this pinnacle; this mecca of contentment, but that time wasn’t here, and now. slowly and deliberately, as though talking to someone of significantly inferior intellect] and that Well, let me tell you, The Power of Yet has been a doubleI would understand it some time.’ edged sword for me. It has motivated me time after time to try harder. Want to knock an hour and a quarter off your Shit. What is the answer to a small child’s mental marathon time in the space of 2 years? Use the Power of arithmetic / spot-the-odd-number-out maths quandary? Yet. It works. ‘Right, right. I see,’ I reply, still racing through chapters Want to write so badly that you spend eighteen months reof Algebra for Amoebas in my head, as she continues writing 80,000 of THE SAME WORDS because you telling me about her day. The power of yet. Not making the grade… yet. Not quite believe in the story? The Power of Yet will help you to get a publishing deal, and a literary agent. Believe me. This hitting the mark… yet. Not understanding the how’s or the whys… yet. Not reaching the ‘qualifying standard’ … shit works. yet. Not getting there - wherever that might be… yet. Yet, yet, yet. And yet… www.thefrankmagazine.com
The medals, the certificates, the contracts, the achievements. The Power of Yet doesn’t know when to stop. What about enjoying the journey? What about luxuriating in the momentary glimpses of joy? What about putting a lid on an endless fascination for desired outcome? Years of being bounced between The Power of Yet and The Curse of Enough like some stunned Wimbledon tennis ball being strewn around Court 1 has taught me to TREAT WITH CAUTION. This comes in the week when my Good for Age entry for Virgin London Marathon 2018 has been accepted, from a time I ran at last year’s Yorkshire Marathon which was 10 minutes off my marathon PB. At the time, I was devastated, seeing it as a huge personal failure, and a regression away from that elusive moment at some point in my future when it all makes sense: when I am enough. But I see now that was all wrong. I ran as hard and as fast as I could, on that day. I battled with every cell of my being for the last fourteen miles, and I crawled over the finish line in 3 hrs and 27 minutes. Only a few years ago, this would have been a huge mini victory. Fucking hell! I’ve run a sub- 3:30 marathon! But the Power of Yet combined with the Curse of Enough stole my moment. It won’t get the opportunity to do it again. ‘So, did you work out the answer then, Tills?’ ‘To what?’ She was temporarily distracted by the realisation that her sausage roll was done. ‘Your maths puzzle. The random numbers and why 9 was the odd one out.’ ‘Oh yeah. It was only because it’s a single digit. The others are double digits. How easy is that?’ ‘Of course it was! I was just about to say that!’ I lied. FFS! Algebra for Amoebas back in its box. There I was involving multiplication, subtraction and square roots. No doubt my six-year old daughter (or clone) was doing the same with her similarly overthinking mind. But the answer was so simple we could barely see it. I’m hoping that one week she’ll come home and tell me all about 'The Power of Enough’. Because sometimes – just like the number 9 brainteaser – the answer is very simple: Trying your best is good enough. RACHEL ANN CULLEN is an author, a runner and - more recently - a keen cyclist. She is also a reformed excommercial litigation solicitor and a business owner. Passionate about physical and mental health, she was recently awarded an honorary degree from The University of Hull for her 'significant personal achievement and contribution to the discussion around mental health,' She has completed the London Marathon five times and in 2017 cycled 480km across Costa Rica on a mountain bike. You can follow Rachel on Twitter @writtenbyrach and Instagram Rachel_running_for_my_life and via her website www.rachelcullenwrites.co.uk – she would love to hear from you. A Midlife Cyclist: My two-wheel journey to heal a broken mind and find joy.
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F R A N K Issue 10 Oct - Nov 2020
FRANK by name FRANK by nature FOLLOW FRANK HERE www.issuu.com/thefrankmagazine
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Not Giving Up, Not Giving In By Jenny Glenton
T
here’s a blue stain on the floor of the room in which I’m writing this – cobalt blue to be exact – and when I look at it, I smile. This may seem an odd reaction to you, and it certainly wouldn’t be my response if it was on the floor of any other room in my newly topto-bottom refurbished house. Anywhere else I’d be down on my hands and knees, Marigold-ed up to the elbows, with every known cleaning product to hand, scrubbing at the new carpet (orange, to match the radiators) or wood flooring, berating myself for being so clumsy. My smile holds the key to my resolution not giving up and certainly not, or rather never, giving in. ‘Giving up and giving in to what?’ you may ask.
snacks. I’m not averse to doing either – for a day at most but not as a lifestyle choice. I can now pick and choose what I do, so my choice is to continue what I’m good at and has given me the greatest satisfaction for the last 25 years: career and personal development coaching, with a select few pro bono clients - why give up skills that have taken years to hone just because of age?
I also choose to spend time with my many friends of long standing, to whom I never have to explain a backstory as I am at the higher end of the Frank magazine’s demographic they’ve lived through it all with me and I with them. of ‘women over 40’ – add on nearly 30 years and you’d be However, moving out of this cosy world of the known, I have right. My daughter is 45, so by some unaccountable not given up on meeting new and different people. In the last mathematical equation my age is way higher. So what are few years I’ve made close friendships with people much and the benefits of (almost) reaching a milestone birthday (apart not-so-much younger than me, who have brought vitality from no longer having to wax my legs and other body parts, and new experiences to my life. as after 50-ish years of depilation, the hair has finally got the message: not wanted)? Next: I am never giving in to grey hair! I even have a pact Top of the list: I no longer have to go to work. But the word with my best (younger) girlfriends that if I have dementia, ‘retired’ smacks of full-on giving up – a scene in which I’m they are to book a hairdresser to do my roots and highlights either reclining on a chaise longue reading a worthy book or every five weeks. There’s only one thing worse than being ga-ga and that’s being ga-ga and grey. sitting in my pyjamas watching daytime TV eating www.thefrankmagazine.com
Neither am I succumbing to the colour ‘greige’. It seems that there is an eleventh commandment that says that, on reaching [insert number] years old, ‘Thou shalt wear grey or beige’. No wonder so many women complain that as they get older they become ‘invisible’! Not me. I cannot be like the protagonist in Jenny Joseph’s poem ‘Warning’: ‘When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / with a red hat that doesn’t go...’ because I’ve been wearing purple with red for most of my life – and clashing yellow with orange and shocking pink and cobalt blue (that colour, again!).
My younger daughter’s bedroom had been untouched since May 2001 when she left for a backpacking trip to Australia and the Far East with her friends. She died at the age of 23 on a remote island off the coast of Malaysia from a combination of cataclysmic factors.
By far the most significant demonstration of my resolution not to give up or in is a promise I made to myself many years ago: when I’ve finished working I’m going back to art school. My first career was as a secondary school art teacher, and to qualify, I went to a teacher training college where I studied art and education simultaneously. Did I appreciate or make the most of those three years of learning? As if! All that was wasted on an 18 to 21 year-old hell-bent on improving her social life rather than slaving over a hot canvas. However, I did very well and taught for a number of years, but by the time I was 30, I was divorced with two small daughters and working full time in fashion sales and training. So the only artistic activities were with my girls and their friends, or drawing the ballet dancer/donkey/witch/ reindeer (depending on the occasion) on which excited blindfolded children would pin the rose/tail/wand/tail.
I had ‘managed’ my bereaved life well for 18 years – building a successful business, having a good and busy social life. I had bouts of therapy and counselling, and the support of my truly loving and remarkable elder daughter and set of friends. However, two years ago I knew something wasn’t right, or at least more wrong than usual. The vocabulary to describe the death of a child hasn’t been invented: ‘traumatic’, ‘visceral’, ‘horrific’, ‘lifechanging’ don’t even touch the sides. I was very lucky to find and work with an extraordinary therapist. He was the first person to diagnose that I was suffering from PTSD.
Then, two years ago, I did a week’s Introduction to Drawing and Painting summer-school course at The Heatherley, the oldest independent fine art school in London, and I was hooked. Since then I have done various other courses and spend one day a week in The Heatherley’s studios under the guidance of the most amazing tutors. It’s totally immersive, frustrating, rewarding, addictive and requires an awful lot of looking and squinting, for which I’ve had to increase the application of serums night and morning to avoid crow’s feet and ‘laughter lines’ (nobody could laugh that much). To feed my new addiction, I had to have a place to paint at home. No longer needing my office (situated in the smallest bedroom), I decided that, if I ripped out all the cupboards, desk etc there would be just about enough room for an easel and shelves on which to put all the artist’s paraphernalia (there’s a lot of it). Ta-dah – my very own studio! I’ve lived in my house for 34-ish years, the first 15 of which with my daughters. My elder daughter’s bedroom was transformed into a guest room about 18 years ago.
For 18 years her room was as she left it – even the calendar on her cupboard door was open at the page May 2001. I’d cleaned the room and used it for drying the washing, putting up guests and storing bits of junk that didn’t belong anywhere in the house.
With his expert help, when the house was being done, I went from thinking about my younger daughter’s room as ‘not to be touched, I’ll just install a new radiator’ to ‘well, maybe I’ll paint it and hang her artwork on the walls’ to ‘I’m going to transform her room into my art studio’. The result of six months of hard labour at weekly therapy sessions – and it was savage at times – was that I was able to sort through all her previously untouched clothes keeping some for sentimental reasons. My elder daughter and I spent a very dusty Sunday excavating and sorting out her belongings and a very full loft - laughing and reminiscing about all the things from their junior to secondary school to university and first job stages along with the ancient relics of old stereo systems, LPs, a kitchen table and a hat stand. If ever there was a manifestation of my resolve of ‘not giving up, not giving in’ it’s that the previously untouched younger daughter’s bedroom is now my studio. When we were wading through her things, I found the sign that used to be on the door that said ‘My Room’. In my heart and mind it will always be her room but now I spend many contented and fulfilling days painting, drawing and generally making mess. Hence the cobalt blue paint stain on the floor - no wonder it makes me smile!
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H E A L T H
C O A C H
Diet Confusion: Ten Popular Myths Examined By Sandie Fredriksson
SANDIE FREDRIKSSON is the creator of Healthy Habits for Life. She teaches busy women over 40 how to lose weight, have more energy and put their health on autopilot.
PUT DOWN THE DETOX TEA AND FILL UP THE FRUIT BOWL - SANDIE FREDRIKSSON DEBUNKS Labelling foods as inherently ‘good or bad’ or ‘allowed or SOME COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS AROUND off-limits’ is not just intellectually lazy, but could mean WHAT AND HOW TO EAT TO LOSE WEIGHT. the post-dinner chocolate fudge cake comes with a side order of guilt and a dollop of shame. The truth is you don’t It’s no surprise that diet myths spread like wildfire. We so have to write off having a dessert in order to lose weight, desperately want to believe that a simple change like but you do need to understand the fundamental principle cutting out sugar or drinking ‘tummy-flattening’ tea is of energy balance. the secret to easy weight loss. But can it really be that simple? Despite what you see on Instagram or hear from a wellintentioned friend, the only way to lose fat is to be in a Traditionally, the word ‘diet’ refers to ‘the type of food a calorie deficit. The principle is simple - consume fewer person or community habitually eats’. For many of us calories than you burn - but working out how to forty-somethings, however, the word ‘diet’ has never implement a calorie deficit in a way that you can stick to meant anything but a prescribed way of eating with the may not be so straightforward. Meeting all your body’s goal of losing weight. The relentless pressure of ‘eat this, nutritional needs whilst still including foods you love does not that’ rules and the prospect of a lifetime of restrictions require some planning, but taking the time to do this will adding an extra layer of complexity to our already busy also empower you to see diet misconceptions and hearsay lives. for what they really are. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Here are the ten most common weight-loss myths I get asked about, how to better understand them and how to rethink them. 1 Avoid fruit because it is high in sugar It’s true, fruit is relatively higher in naturally occurring sugar (fructose) compared to vegetables, which is possibly where this dieting myth takes root. But as with vegetables, the calories in fruit primarily come from carbohydrates, and it’s the calories that count for fat loss, not sugar. Fresh whole fruits are an excellent source of vitamins, minerals and fibre, and gram for gram, they are likely to be lower in calories compared to other foods that satisfy sweet cravings. Making a 400g punnet of strawberries (120 calories) or half a kilo of watermelon (150 calories) a filling and low-calorie choice. One caveat to this diet myth is avocado. Thanks to its (healthy) monounsaturated fat content a medium avocado racks up a hefty 250 calories, which is why I usually recommend that eating half a day is plenty. If you’re aiming for fat loss, whatever fruits you consume need to be in the context of your overall calorie target.
2 Juice fasts are a speedy fat loss hack Çleverly-marketed juice plans and retreats have become increasingly popular, thanks to the impressive amount of 'weight loss’ they produce on the scales, but sadly it’s unlikely to translate into dropping a dress size. That’s because the majority of the weight you are so excited about shedding is water and precious muscle, and less so body fat. We gradually lose muscle mass as we age (sarcopenia) so if having a toned body is something you strive for, I recommend staying away from any type of dieting strategy devoid of protein. What a quick-fix juice fast also fails to do is set you up with a sustainable plan going forward. You’re likely to feel ravenous once the juice fast is over as your body compels you to replenish all the nutrients it’s been deprived of. Yes, restricting yourself to as little as 1000 calories a day of juice does create a significant calorie deficit, but it’s important to remember that you need a minimum of 1200 calories a day to avoid nutrient deficiencies and other negative effects on your body. Wouldn’t you rather adopt a strategy that feels freeing and joyful, while keeping your body toned and boosting your metabolism?
3 Replace lunch with a juice, shake or smoothie Unless it’s water, whatever you drink still counts towards your daily calorie intake and a glass of juice will contain the same amount of calories as the whole vegetables or fruits you used to make it. Juicing also means removing the plant fibre which you need to slow down the absorption of sugar into your bloodstream. Experiencing the highs and lows of the blood sugar rollercoaster can very quickly leave you hungrier than you were before. Another often overlooked benefit of plant fibre is its prebiotic role of feeding the good bacteria in your gut, which is why we should take every opportunity to consume it. Fibre-filled smoothies are a better option if you occasionally prefer to drink your calories rather than eat them, but be sure to throw in some nuts and seeds and perhaps some protein powder to keep you feeling fuller for longer.
4 Low carb is the best diet strategy to go for The weight-loss industry does an impressive job of dressing up the calorie deficit principle with a variety of different methods, low carb being one of the most popular. If you are limiting an entire macronutrient food group that includes pasta, bread and potatoes, of course you will make a hefty dent in the calories that you are consuming! The weight you lose on a low carb diet isn’t down to the lack of carbs; it’s down to the calorie deficit. The amount of calories you consume is what matters, not which macronutrients those calories come from.
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5 Eliminate sugar if you want to lose weight Unless you are someone who likes to eat sugar cubes, demonising sugar is a misleading and simplistic statement. It's not sugar that makes you fat, it's the over-consumption of highly palatable, high-calorie foods that contain it. Whether it’s cheesecake, biscuits or ice cream, these foods are not only calorific but are also cleverly constructed to make you want more of them. Most of us need a ‘food hug’ from time to time (me included!) but anything more regular makes these treats an obvious culprit for excessive calories and gradual weight gain.
6 The treats you love are completely off-limits Dieting should never feel overly restrictive so forget the idea you need to suffer and feel miserable. Fat loss requires being in a calorie deficit over a sustainable period of time, so you're better off finding a strategy that feels permissive rather than prohibitive. Don’t turn down your friend’s party invitation or decline a slice of birthday cake, even though you want it. Instead, consider the calories in the treats you're going to be enjoying and look to adjust your calories earlier in the day, or even earlier in the week. Alternatively, enjoy the celebrations without any guilt whatsoever and hop right back to your calorie deficit strategy at the next opportunity. Unless you prioritise your mental health, you won’t be able to experience the positive feelings you’re hoping will come from losing the weight. Focus on maximising nutrient-dense foods and minimising feelings of deprivation whilst doing your best to keep to your calorie target. Even if it means you need to be a little more patient.
7 Skinny teas are a fat-burning miracle Despite what some influencers have proclaimed on social media, there are no magic potions or powders that will burn fat from your body. Evidence suggests that a coffee before a gym session might increase your effort, and that a shot of apple cider vinegar can suppress your appetite. But these are just ways to support a calorie deficit strategy, not a solution by themselves. One liquid habit I do recommend building is staying properly hydrated. Dehydration can fool you into thinking you’re hungry, when in fact it’s water your body is craving.
8 Eating ‘clean’ ensures you get slimmer Shifting your focus from dieting to healthy eating can be a helpful strategy for fat loss, but that doesn’t mean that simply eating ‘clean’ correlates to weight loss. It's important to recognise that you can still expand your waistline eating nothing but nutrient-dense foods if you're consistently eating in a calorie surplus. A nutritious diet is important for your health, but it’s energy balance that matters when it comes to managing your weight. You need to pay attention to both. Dried fruits are a good example. Stripped of its water content, 100g of banana chips contains 500 calories compared to the 90 calories in 100g of fresh banana, making it a calorific snack, though not an unhealthy one. Nuts and seeds are also high in calories, so consume these nutrition-packed powerhouses in moderation if fat loss is your goal.
9 Intermittent fasting guarantees weight loss There are many diets based around cycles of eating and fasting; 16:8, 5:2, alternate day, the warrior diet. Mounting research links fasting to improved health and living longer, primarily through triggering a process called autophagy (the body’s way of clearing out damaged cells and replacing them new ones) but that doesn’t automatically equate to weight loss. The reason fasting aids weight loss is simply because it shortens your eating window, and most people will consume fewer calories if they have less hours within which they can eat. Personally, I don’t like to eat before noon and I have a ‘dinner and done’ rule that means I don’t eat past 8pm. But that plan won’t appeal to you if you can't start your day without breakfast. www.thefrankmagazine.com
10 Quit alcohol if fat loss is your goal Tracking the calories you eat while turning a blind eye to the calories in your evening pinot is an easy mistake to make, but you don’t have to cut out alcohol entirely. If one glass of wine with friends at the weekend is something you look forward to then enjoy it guilt-free and know that it won’t have a substantial impact. But having a glass of wine every night will. And it’s not just the calories in the alcohol that can derail you if a couple of glasses of wine makes it harder to resist the Doritos.
The success of any fat loss strategy relies on long-term adherence, so don’t make things harder for yourself by following an arbitrary set of rules with no scientific clout. There is no such thing as a bad food when it comes to fat loss, only an overconsumption of calories over time. Arm yourself with this simple and practical perspective so you can make more informed choices and still enjoy the foods you love. Five weight loss truths Here are some rules you can trust and that will work for everyone. Calculate your calorie deficit but keep it modest and add a side of patience. This creates space for the treats you enjoy, which will improve your chances of long term success. Prioritise protein aiming for a minimum of 1g per Kg of body weight per day. Digesting protein burns around 30% of its calories, plus dietary protein keeps you feeling full for longer and helps preserve precious muscle mass. Choose resistance training over cardio for fat loss. This will not only tone your body but it will also raise your metabolism. Run, walk and cycle for health, fitness and fun rather than relying on it as a weight-loss strategy. Value progress, consistency and above all resilience. Build sustainable habits and remember that failure is part of the process. Recognise the importance of managing stress and quality sleep for fat loss. Learning techniques to improve both will increase your chances of sticking to your weight loss plan.
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L I F E
C O A C H
Setting goals 2021 style…….
By Kate Tilston
As we head towards the end of 2020, I’m sure one thing we can all agree on is that it has been a year like no other? This time last year there were whispers about a virus but it seemed so far away from us.
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A
s you can imagine, as a Life Coach, the new year usually heralds a host of people wishing to make resolutions or set goals for the year ahead. It’s not something I necessarily partake in as I find it more productive to set my intentions and goals later in the year. However, the world of the media is determined to make us question what we wish to change for the forthcoming year. We are bombarded with headlines such as “It’s your time to sparkle!” or “Your year is waiting, go get it.” A personal favourite of mine is “New Year new you” as if something is wrong with the old you? What’s that all about? Anyway, this all got me thinking as to what would happen on the dawn of 2021? How would we set goals for the year ahead? Would we even want to? Does that seem to be any point in setting goals when I guess most of us haven’t actually achieved a lot of what we wanted to in 2020 through no fault of our own? I started talking to my clients about how they felt regarding setting goals and moving forward in 2021? What would be helpful for them to keep putting one foot in front of another? Interestingly, some clients have decided to ditch the resolutions for the first time and perhaps reframe the action by calling it something else that doesn’t feel quite so challenging midst a global pandemic. We’ve discussed goal setting – is that an option that feels doable? Goal setting is very much part of the traditional life coaching approach and at some point, during the coaching journey most of my clients set goals to keep them focused and progressive. Setting intentions has always worked better for me, I love this quote – to me it explains very clearly why intentions work;
“The secret to changing your life is in your intentions. Wishing, hoping and goal setting cannot accomplish change without intention. What is needed is a shift from the inert energy of wanting to the active energy of doing and intention.” Wayne Dyer. So, what’s the difference between a goal and an intention? Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are focused on the present moment. Goals are a destination or specific achievement. Intentions are lived each day, independent of achieving the goal or destination. With this in mind, 2021 seems to me, to be the year of the intention. We need to be focusing on the here and now, really living in the moment, especially if we are still in a similar situation Covid wise after Christmas and into the New Year. Setting goals that potentially could be unachievable due to other influences and situations outside our control, is plain daft! Why set yourself up to fail? Why add to the anxiety you may already be feeling due to our current situation?
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For me, I think we need to be looking at how we live in the moment, at the things we can affect. They might not be big lifechanging things, they might seem less challenging than the goals you would usually set your- self but ask yourself this – is it better for your mental health to achieve smaller things more regularly than to set yourself goals that might not be able to be achieved at all due to the nature of the virus and all that goes with it? So we’ve decided to set intentions this year, now we need to decide what those intentions are going to be and how we motivate ourselves to do them? Based on the fact that an intention is in the here and now and something we do every day, a good start could be;
“I will get outside at least once every day and walk/run/hop (all of the above)” Much more manageable than deciding to join the gym which might or might not be open and often starts so well and then fizzles out fairly quickly. Another one could be;
“I will cut down on the number of glasses of wine I drink per week.” For some, cutting out alcohol completely is something they can manage, personally I think any type of the usual new year challenges like dry January are in my opinion, best left to another year. Find things in your life that you can make small but significant changes to. It might be getting up half an hour earlier, making time for breakfast each day, adding more breaks into your routine whilst working from home – a walk around the block, a quick dance in the kitchen? These things WILL make a difference. They WON’T feel overwhelming.
“Find things in your life that you can make small but significant changes to. It might be getting up half an hour earlier, making time for breakfast each day, adding more breaks into your routine whilst working from home – a walk around the block, a quick dance in the kitchen.”
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In order for us to action our intentions, it is important that once you’ve decided what they are going to be, you then record them. Now this can be in the form of a list of intentions (we all love a list) or you can create something more visual like a mood board or vision board?
To create a vision board 1. Collect pictures, colours, words that relate to your intentions. They can come from old magazines or photos that you’re happy to cut up. They don’t need to be exact images but something that is a strong enough image to remind you what the intention is e.g a picture of a sumptuous bed that looks ready to jump into to remind you to go to bed earlier.
“Goal setting is very much part of the traditional life coaching approach and at some point, during the coaching journey most of my clients set goals to keep them focused and progressive.”
2. Use a large sheet of paper, A3 is a good size and stick all the images onto the paper. 3. You can organise the images by intention OR just place them on the paper so that they look enticing and interesting. This is NOT an art class and no one will judge you for the way that it looks, this is purely a visual reminder of your intentions. 4. If it helps, cut out words that add to your intention, again, anything that prompts you to fulfil the intention. You might find a word like “restful’ to go with your bed picture? 5. Once completed, do not over analyse – place it somewhere that you will see it on a daily basis. It doesn’t have to be public, it can be the inside door of your wardrobe, just somewhere that will remind you of what you have set out to achieve.
Whatever you decide to do at the beginning of 2021, do it with kindness. You have lived through a hugely emotional and challenging year and I’m sure 2021 will also have challenges regardless of covid and to what extent it’s still around. Create achievable intentions that make you feel good about yourself, that encourage you, that help you to make the changes that will move you forward. Who knows what the media will make of new year but my advice would be, avoid the articles about “New Year, New You” just concentrate on you and yours, living authentically and with kindness with the emphasis on kindness towards YOU!
Other people journal their intentions, they start the year with a new diary or journal and set out what they want to change with a short paragraph as to how they’re going to do it. Whichever method you choose, it needs to be right for you, it needs to be a prompt for you. Kate Tilston Practical Life Coaching www.katetilston.co.uk kate@katetilston.co.uk www.thefrankmagazine.com
S U R V I V I N G
A B U S E
Very much a survivor
Photo by Yoann Boyer
Interview by Millie Cooper in association with Women's Aid
W
hen I first spoke with Amelie (not her real name), she did not strike me as unusual. She was friendly, articulate and kind. There was certainly nothing about her to suggest that she had been through any kind of trauma. She was just like any other woman, and fittingly so; horrific things can happen to anybody. Amelie was not normal, I later found out – she was remarkable, not because she was an abuse victim, but because she had gone through hell and come out of it fighting, very much a survivor. Now, although free from the physical grips of her abuser, she suffers from [ flashbacks, anxiety and depression.]. It is very much a nightmare, but one that she refuses to be broken by. What Amelie wants vehemently is a debate, a voice, a chance to tell her side of the story. The importance of speaking out, and speaking FRANKLY, about abuse is something that many victims long for. In this exclusive interview with The FRANK Magazine, Amelie finally, and bravely, speaks out as a survivor; one of the many human lives buried beneath the shocking statistic Key statistics. www.thefrankmagazine.com
Abuse is an evil act, but it is far from simple. What were your feelings then? What are your feelings now? My feelings have not changed. Abuse is evil. And it is also complex because it is behind closed doors. Abusers work hard to make everyone else believe they could never do an evil thing. Abusers try to make you feel sorry for them, and question your own sanity. He would be nice to me for a couple of weeks – with simple acts of kindness I had been craving – then two weeks later he was back to the abuse – your emotions are all over the place. It makes you doubt your reality. This is a way of controlling you and breaking you down. I left with Poppy (7) five years ago. It was the best decision I ever made but I am still enduring his abuse through his behaviour in the family courts. Although I am the one who cared every minute of the day for our daughter, he is trying to persuade the courts that I am the crazy one, and he is the only who can look after her because he has material wealth. Currently I can only see her in the holidays although I am fighting this. He told Poppy that I did not want to see her. What a terrible thing to tell a child. When we are reunited in the holidays, she keeps asking me why I did not want to see her. It took us a long time to get back on track. The evil he has done to Poppy will always be there and is unforgivable. Before I left, I would lie in bed in tears. I am very independent but he was controlling my finances and where we lived – I did not have a voice. I knew it was wrong. One day, after the last serious assault, I knew could not stay. I left with £100 and rebuilt our lives and got a job. Luckily a friend said I could stay with her so I saved for a deposit and rented a flat. Every day the elastic band inside me loosened a bit more. It does get easier. I am free. It is a struggle but not like the struggle of living with him, and the terror of what the day will bring. It is like breathing fresh air, a blessing. Life is precious. He can’t take it away from me. It took you, as it takes many victims, quite some time before you were able to tell anyone what had happened to you. What made you decide to tell someone? What advice would you give to a victim of abuse who has not told anyone? You have to be safe environment to tell someone. I felt so ashamed – it is hard to open up and tell anyone.
Women feel it is their fault, as if they deserve abuse and control. I was also scared he would hear I had told someone. Abusers make out they are amazing but once you start uncovering them, they start abusing you more. So, you become robotic and pretend everything is fine. After physically abusing me, he would disappear for days. Three years before I left, I finally told my best friend. She believed me and then she disclosed she had gone through the same thing in the past. It was such a relief. She said: “If you leave, one day you will wake up, and you will breathe a sigh of relief.” Talking to her was a catalyst. It made it more real, and this had a domino effect. I started thinking “I have to get out”. You pretend to yourself it is alright but deep down, you know it is not. This conversation opened me to a new idea: I am strong and I can leave. I did not want to be 80 and still regret not having left. I did not believe what my friend said but it is true: One day you will wake up and breathe freely again. I can still remember that exact moment my friend had described. It was about a year after I had left. It was an ordinary day but it felt like a spiritual moment, an awakening. I thought to myself, I can actually breathe. After that, I was no longer afraid to talk. Have you received counselling following the abuse. if so, what happens in these counselling sessions and how frequent are they? Are they helpful? Would you recommend counselling to other survivors of sexual abuse? I was resistant at first about going for therapy. I thought: “I don't need it, I can sort myself out - I am the one who gives advice!”. Then a friend recommended someone. She was so gentle and a such good listener –she let me talk. After so many years of silencing myself was so good to talk. I felt a connection with her immediately. She has helped reinforce that it was not me, it was him. She helped me see what is a healthy relationship, and to break the toxic pattern. I would definitely recommend counselling with someone qualified who understands abuse. Choose your therapist wisely. Take time to choose and see if you have a connection. I saw her for weekly two-hour sessions for several years. Therapy has helped me take a step back, and not to react to his provocations. She has given more coping mechanisms when I get abusive texts – otherwise your knee jerk reactions of wanting truth and justice are used against you in court.
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Britain has a drinking culture, and alcohol is seen as an excuse for abuse.There are not enough deterrents to stop perpetrators and they think they can get away with it. Abusers are from abusive families, and the cycle never gets broken. We need more education from an early age.
You were in court. How did you feel throughout the legal proceedings? Was it worth it? I found it a completely flawed process. All the authorities including the judge, my then-lawyers (I have changed them now), Cafcass and the social worker were completely uneducated in abuse and perpetrator manipulation. I was let down by every single person. Abuse is textbook – the way he behaved is exactly like every other abuser, regardless of country and culture and class, so I am surprised it is not more recognisable to the courts. All our stories as survivors are the same. The court case was biased towards him because he has money and power. The family court system should be like a criminal system with a jury.
worse. I will keep fighting for my daughter. I will never give up. My advice: don’t get mixed up with their manipulations – if you blink, they will use that against you. Don’t text back – be careful what you put on email and text – they try to make out you are the unbalanced one. You must not show emotion even while you are sitting next to your perpetrator listening to their allegations. You have to be robotic. You are judged in court. Do you think that Britain has an “abuse culture”? What does this mean? How can it be changed? Britain has a drinking culture, and alcohol is seen as an excuse for abuse. There are not enough deterrents to stop perpetrators and they think they can get away with it. Abusers are from abusive families, and the cycle never gets broken. We need more education from an early age. The statistic that 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 20 men, will be victims of rape or attempted rape at some point during their lifetime is often quoted. Do you believe it? Does it shock you? I am sadly not shocked. It is down to education again: some men do not realise what is rape, or that rape can happen within an abusive marriage. And deterrents need to be used. Abusers think they are above the law. Finally, do you have any general advice or words for other survivors of abuse?
Like many survivors, I felt very let down. He perpetuated the abuse through his allegations but I did not have a voice, and there was not enough investigation. You are very exposed and intimidated, sitting in same room with the perpetrator.
The hardest thing is making the decision to leave but, once you leave, it gets easier. Talk to someone in a safe environment, talk to an expert, and read about abuse. Once I left and starting to feel more safe, I started educating myself about abuse. (I had not dared to when I It is very one-sided what the court wants to was with him, I was worried he would find books in the hear, and the judge was due to retire – he just wanted to house and I would be in danger). Be careful how you get on to the next case. I felt insignificant. respond to the perpetrator because every text or email can get used against you. Do not be ashamed: Vital information did not get into court. I did not have legal aid and had to pay legal fees. It is very expensive. it is not you – it is them. You can find that strength to leave abuse. A life without abuse is better than life with It does feel that men and women are treated differently in abuse. You can always get yourself back – and you win by always being you. They can never take that away from the courts. We were supposed to get shared custody but you. I have survived to tell the story. he broke court orders by taking Poppy out the country without telling me but all he got was a mild telling off. Lot of women lose custody because of the court system – that is why they stay in the relationship. I am now going back to court. I feel in a better position – I feel it will be worth it – my lawyers are better. The first ones did not listen and gave wrong advice which made my outcome
www.womensaid.org.uk Credit: Engine and Women's Aid
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W H A T
T O
What Buy to Read
And be Inspired by
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H O M E
E D I T
Home Scents
Dreamy room fragrances for your pad BYREDO Tree House Room Spray by Byredo
JACOB COHEN Scented Room Spray The ideal present for those who love Jacob Cohen’s scented jeans, this room spray carries the same woody fragrance as the iconic denim, bringing a unique atmosphere to your home. The aroma is full of warming spices, fruits and florals that melt into vanilla and patchouli – spray in the hallway as well as on your clothes to recreate the authentic ambience of the label’s stores.
Rediscover childhood adventures and the scent of grass-stained knees with Byredo Tree House Room Spray, a fragrance inspired by imagination, woodland walks and nostalgia. Spritzed liberally, it is comforting and evocative, filling homes with the recognisable scent of the great outdoors. Byredo Tree House Room Spray has top notes of pimento, bamboo and hay, with middle notes of labdanum, myrrh and blond cedar wood. Its base notes are guaiac wood, sandalwood and leather, which combine to create a scent that is warm, wonderful and utterly enchanting. This is a fragrance for spring mornings and summer afternoons. The Tree House Room Spray is reminiscent of tree houses and a not-so-misspent youth. Spicy, woody and fresh, the fragrance perfectly captures favourite moments from a snapshot of time.
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DIPTYQUE Sapin de Nuit Room Spray by Diptyque Scent the home with the invigorating fragrance of the Diptyque Room Spray Sapin De Nuit, a limited edition spray that captures the essence of fir trees in the winter. The scent of the Diptyque Room Spray Sapin De Nuit is emblematic of the holidays, blending the aromas of fir trees with the notes of eucalyptus, peppermint and rosemary to evoke the magnificent forests of Siberia and Canada. The glass bottle is worthy of a display of its own. Designed by artist Ugo Gattoni, it is part of Diptyque's Marvellous Beasts collection. Sapin De Nuit is dedicated to a majestic stag exploring Paris on a snowy evening, bringing with it the rich scents of the forest.
CIRE TRUDON Ernesto Room Spray
AESOP Istros Aromatique Room Spray by Aesop
Stimulate mind, body and soul with the Aesop Istros Aromatique Room Spray, a unique union of enlivening florals and earthy tobacco in a home fragrance that will transform every room. Described as a scent of the things that have been left behind, the Istros Room Spray is reminiscent of warm days, cool evenings and the commotion of the carnival.
Distinctly rich with a spicy warmth, hearty tones of oak wood and patchouli burn though this Ernesto room Spray by Cire Trudon, laced with a burst of sweet bergamot and grapefruit. Top notesbergamot, grapefruit, rhum/ middleclose, labdanum, oak wood, patchouli/ base amber, leather, moss, tobacco
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This room spray’s aroma is vibrant, floral and spicy, harnessing the scents of pink pepper, lavender and tobacco. It perfectly captures the atmosphere of a smoky bazaar and will help transform the home into a mysterious and sensual palace in no time at all. Just two to three pumps of this spray will last for several hours, filling the immediate area with sweet scent.
S H O P P I N G
Why Not Try...?
By Sam Baines
Roll on chill Bash have just launched a new range of organic and holistic therapy oil roll-ons that are pure, powerful and plant-based, which sounds good to us. Just roll this natural oil on your wrists and temples for a soothing scent and to promote skin health. Bash blend by hand in small batches to ensure optimum freshness and quality while minimising waste. These roll-ons even come in the perfect size to pop in your handbag or pocket.
www.bashoskin.com
Sleep Siren Founded by home counties girl Lily in 2019, Sleep Siren is a well being brand that offers lots of goodies to help you get a good night's sleep. When Lily discovered she had a chronic illness she turned her focus towards health and packed in her high-stress, lack of sleep job to try and help all of us sleep better. From delicious smelling bath salts, comfy bed socks and silk pillows, Sleep Siren will be sure to help you drift off peacefully.
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Face masks (the nutrient kind) We are wearing protective face masks out and about but what about at home? We need to keep our skin healthy too and Freyaluna are here for your nourishing needs. Their all natural face masks come as a dry powder which you mix with water yourself so you get several uses from each packet. Freyaluna's award winning skincare is 100% natural, cruelty free and sustainably sourced and they do gift sets too.
www.freyaluna.co.uk
Shining a light UK based brand Live in the Light is shining a light on awesome natural, organic and chemical free products. From vegan handbags, pet products to these brilliant wet bags from Marley Monsters, you can shop organically this winter.
www.liveinthelight.co.uk
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B O O K S
The READING List The redhead by the side of the road by Ann Tyler This is yet another example of her beautiful quiet prose which draws the reader in to the life of ordinary people in a way that is both reassuring, comforting and familiar. Like most of Tyler’s novels, this is not about extraordinary people and events, but more an examination of the nuances of a simple life and relationships. This one is about Micah, a single man approaching middle age working for himself as a roving IT man, his struggles with his girlfriend, his pernickety habits and his self reflection . Tyler’s exploration of this character is so forensic and yet calming as to lull you into an ring side side on his front porch. She is one of my favourite writers of all time and this book stands up amongst her pantheon of brilliance.
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By Eleanor Tattersfield
This Too Shall Pass by Julia Samuels Julia Samuels is a leading British psychotherapist, famously to the late Princess Diana. Following her first book Grief Works, this her second book focuses on the four main aspects of life; family, love, work and death. The challenges we all face in life are unpicked, explained and made bearable. It is a book for anyone experiencing the pain from divorce to debilitating illness or change of circumstance. Each topic is explored using case studies from her couch. They are written up so well as to almost read like fiction and yet she adds her personal flaws and fears which makes you also understand more the full picture of psychotherapy from all angles. I recommend listening to the audiobook version, as her wonderful dulcet tones are as intoxicating as her writing. This Too Shall Pass is an incredibly useful tool for unpicking all the things that we have to deal with in a single lifetime : it is a reference book to go back and back to.
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Parallel Lives by Phyllis Rose This is a much more interesting book that at first it may appear! Although written in 1983 this new edition comes with forward by Sheila Haiti and a whopping endorsement by Nora Ephron. Rose explores the courtships, companionships and marriages of five famous Victorian couples; Jane Welsh and Thomas Carlyle, Effie Gray and John Ruskin, Harriet Taylor and John Stuart Mill, Catherine Hogarth and Charles Dickens, George Eliot (Marian Evans) and George Henry Lewes, these are essentially mini biographies of their lives and loves. She writes in a lively and engaging way that draws you straight in. Their lives from the view point of their romantic attachments is a fascinating more intimate and domestic angle. The stories are steeped in historical fact and interleaved with many wonderful contemporaneous letters. The narratives of their romances give them a very modern appeal although these relationships are from a different era, the universal truths of human love and behaviour transcend time and place.
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In Praise of Shadows by Junichiro Tanizaki This beautiful gem of a book was written in 1933, and yet speaks to us now so strongly, especially in these times of lockdown and need for mindfulness. In his delightful essay on Japanese taste Junichiro Tanizaki selects for praise all things delicate and nuanced, everything softened by shadows and the patina of age, anything understated and natural - as for example the patterns of grain in old wood, the sound of rain dripping from eaves and leaves, or washing over the footing of a stone lantern in a garden, and refreshing the moss that grows about it and by doing so he suggests an attitude of appreciation and mindfulness, especially mindfulness of beauty, as central to life lived well. To give an example of his poetic prose; Tanizaki said that when yokan ( a type of jelly made from red bean paste ) is served in a lacquer dish, inside the dark recesses of which its colour is scarcely distinguishable, it assumes the status of a votary object. "You take its cool, smooth substance into your mouth," he wrote, "and it is as if the very darkness of the room were melting on your tongue.� It is a wonderful read on a rainy night by candlelight in lockdown or just on a Sunday ; you can drift off reflecting on the beauty in the smallest things.
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F R A N K
M O T O R I N G
Elspeth Beard The Lone Rider
by Photojournalist Lara Platman
We are sitting in the kitchen of the award winning and architecturally acclaimed Water Tower in Munstead, Surrey, where Elspeth now lives with a full restoration on it after purchasing in 1989. The ceilings are really high, and our talk is echoing around the hexagonal structure, Elspeth reminisces about how her extraordinary journey around the world has come into the public eye after almost 35 years.
There is a gap from 2009 until 2017 when you published the book what happened there. Slowly as the story started to sort of spread around, there was one image of me on my motorbike in London when I got back from the trip – there was something about that picture that captured peoples imagination, taken in 1984, the photograph had been hanging on my toilet wall for 35 years and nobody apart from my friends and I had ever seen it. This image, plus others were on the internet now, and in 2014, caught the eye of an agent in Hollywood who, had found my story from some blog or something, contacted me Elspeth until quite recently, did not know that they wanted to buy my life rights to make a film about my story. So this was all really bizarre, I was whisked off to she was the first British woman to ride around Hollywood, put in a five star hotel, met script writers and the world solo on a motorcycle. producers and they were all mad keen to buy my story. It It wasn’t something I was of aware of. I got back in 1984 had been years since I even looked at my diaries, I couldn’t even remember all the details, they seemed to have their own and when I returned, nobody was interested and I basically put all my photos and diaries away and they sat idea of what story they were going to tell, which wasn’t in a box for 30 odd years and got on with my life. It was as really what I wanted, so I sort of said thank you but no thank you and I went back home. only in 2008 when a friend contacted me about my Photo by Bernard Ziega
journey, for the BMW website, then in 2009 I discovered I was the first British woman who motorcycled around the But it was that, that really made me start to write the book. It made me realise that my story had something in it. world. www.thefrankmagazine.com
That’s really exciting though to be able to say thank you but no thank you Yes I wanted to make an accurate account of my journey which took 2 years to write and luckily I had all my diaries and accounts.
Exactly, the book is so intense with so many details, I love all the listed petrol items, where you filled up and how many litres and how much it cost, along with the details of tools and equipment. But what I want to ask is, so you came back in 1984, and you started writing it in 2015 – luckily you wrote contemporaneous journals, so did you manage to get yourself back into the moment?
You talk in the book about meeting all sorts of people, have you kept in contact with many of them from your initial travels. I have and that is one of the great things. I am still in contact with quite a few people, I met these chaps just before I had my first big accident in the Outback, and they were luckily behind me, so they basically saved my life and hadn’t been in contact with them for about 30 years but writing this book we met up in London, and they were really useful, apart from saving my life, I had no recollection of what happened during my accident so meeting up with them again they were able to tell me and I could write it in the book.
You travelled on the BMW R60 tell us a little bit about this bike.
The bike has a 600cc engine. In the early 1980’s, a 600cc Yes I kind of did, and in a very strange way I kept was actually considered quite a big bike, today everyone everything. I have no idea why, but I kept everything: journals, letters and photographs. Literally when I came to seems to think you need to travel on a 1250cc. the end of a country, I would parcel everything up, all the negatives, receipts, shopping and insurance documents, and keep sakes, even admission things to museums in the middle of Texas, and sent it all back home. The thing that was really good was that I made voice recordings for my father on micro cassette tapes and he would send his voice recordings back to me, so I have all these as well. And I had never listened the tapes or looked at all the parcels, so for writing the book these tapes were all so fundamental, they very much took me back to sitting at the side of the road when the bike had broken down, and were a lot more emotive than my written diaries.
Did you think when you were writing in 2015 what it would be like travelling round to these places now – as the world has changed politically, boundaries, attitudes, wars have eroded areas, people have changed. Well I have never stopped travelling and I have been back to Australia, got my pilots license and flew around, then travelled to Tibet and Africa & went around the world again in 2003. And have actually visited many places since. I have already seen massive changes within tourism.
''I was whisked off to Hollywood, put in a five star hotel, met script writers and producers and they were all mad keen to buy my story.'' www.thefrankmagazine.com
Yes, the travel bikes you see today are huge bikes with paniers and support frames… I don’t believe you need all that cc. You can’t do 100 miles an hour you can’t even do 50 miles an hour in some places. Even my bike at 600cc there was some days I wouldn’t even get in to third gear and I think 1250cc? I think a lot of it is trying to look cool with a big bike.
Apart from the fact of speed limits, some of the rural places the road surfaces don’t warrant riding super-fast – especially if you want to really see the country and go off into the villages, off-piste. Yes and to be fair you can ride those big bikes off road but you have to be quite skilled and know what you are doing, but most of the people that buy those big bikes don’t necessarily have all those skills.
When did you start riding I got my first bike when I was 17 which was a little Yamaha 100cc, simply to get around, I lived in Central London and went to Art College in Chelsea. It was quick easy transport. I never saw myself as a biker – or that motorbikes were going to feature in my life, I bought a Honda 250 about a year later and I suppose then I could travel a bit further and I quite liked that and in those days very few women rode motorbikes.
That was going to be my next question, so what other women did you know who rode bikes I had absolutely no female friends who rode, but it didn’t bother me, I knew I enjoyed it so that was all that mattered. I didn’t think about it.
''It’s always good to get your confidence up to ride and to travel on your own -take it in small steps and make sure you have a bike that suits your build, not just what the sales person says in the shop, it can put a lot of women off if you get a bike that is totally wrong for you. Start off small and what you feel comfortable with. Don’t listen to other people. Listen to your own instincts. Do your own thing and you will work it out.''
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''This photograph had been hanging on my toilet wall for 35 years and nobody apart from my friends and I had ever seen it.''
Then what made you set off around the world During my Architecture degree I met and fell in love with this guy, who finished our relationship just before my finals so I was desperately unhappy. I did really badly in my finals, I was just at those crossroads and decided I needed to escape. I had been riding motorbikes for a good 6 years. I had also bought my BMW R60, which opened up possibilities of making bigger journeys, I had already made some UK and European trips, and I thought you know what, I will see if I can ride my bike around the world.
What advice would you give someone now, to ride around the world? It’s always good to get your confidence up to ride and to travel on your own - take it in small steps and make sure you have a bike that suits your build, not just what the sales person says in the shop, it can put a lot of women off if you get a bike that is totally wrong for you. Start off small and what you feel comfortable with. Don’t listen to other people. Listen to your own instincts. Do your own thing and you will work it out.
Oh Elspeth I have one more question - What is your biggest accomplishment ? For me doing the trip was just total belief in myself and whatever people said I still kept on. And that has been brought forward to creating this water tower and today I take on such problematic architectural commissions, that other architects don’t want to touch. It taught me to believe in myself and it totally changed me as a person. That’s the other fantastic thing about writing the book after all these years, I was able to see what the incredible impact my journey had had on the rest of my life.
To find out about how Elspeth got on riding around the world solo, you can purchase her book, which she will sign for you, from her website: https://www.elspethbeard.com You can find Lara on Twitter at @photofeature www.thefrankmagazine.com
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