Life Inspiration

Gratitude

I’ve found that so much gratefulness comes in perspective

Gratitude is a funny thing. We all already know how good it is. We want it in our lives. We welcome it with open arms... and then life.

Life happens. We get into the so called nitty-gritty and the day to day, and many times our lofty goals fall to the wayside.

I think that’s exactly where the misstep happens, we view gratitude as a lofty thing, a grand goal. When we think of thankfulness, our minds wander the path and stop at the BIG things... our family, a home, breath. And yes, we all can truly be so grateful... but what happens when the busyness of life takes over? Breath happens without us thinking about it. That house that we’re so grateful for is a mess. And our family is reduced to little people having a tired fit over bath time.

I’ve found that so much gratefulness comes in perspective. The chores that used to be the most daunting, that I’d procrastinate over or have my own little tired fit about have actually become moments of gratefulness.

As I pick up socks off the floor or wash another load of laundry (with four kids, there is never a shortage of it), I’m grateful that I have a houseful of littles when there are so many that dream about it. After our own struggles through multiple pregnancies, what a gift to have so many to care for. To wash up and wash after. To follow around with a vacuum and laundry basket (speaking of, robot vacuums are my jam lately!).

As I teach my kids how to clean up the table after dinner, to wash dishes (my least favorite chore), and to put their laundry away, we play music and dance our way through the routine. Why? Because it takes our minds off of the burden and frees us to a new perspective… to be grateful for all that we have.

The next few months are a time where consumerism is at it highest, and also where generosity reigns. A crazy juxtaposition. We are encouraged to make a list of stuff that we want (yep, I do it!) and yet we can find so many opportunities to serve others and give of what we have (yep, we do that too).

So this season, as we find ways to blend the two, as your schedules get full and your homes feel the changes, allow yourself some breathing room to be grateful, in both the big and the small things.

IT’S ALL ABOUT

MARGIN

By Christopher Blue | Photography by Briony Skerjance

We are ingrained in a culture that says, “It’s ok,” and often encourages us to live life on the edge. Even though it is an invigorating feeling to be close to the edge, sometimes, we were not designed to live our entire life... ON THE EDGE!

It is much better to live with margin for error built in or breathing room if you will. Our journey of life is much more productive and enjoyable with margin along the way.

So what do I mean in practical terms? Let’s focus on three main themes that will cover most our life’s journey. Time, talent, and treasure. We all have been given the same amount of time. 24 hours per day. No less. No more. So what we choose to do with those hours is up to each of us. Life is short. Breathe in the moments.

Science has proven that sleep is a key player in good health and overall well being. Sleep is the time when our bodies restore, revive, and maintain healthy brain function. It is important to be able to say no to some good things in order to rest and put yourself at your best for the great things you are passionate about.

Your body needs time off!

So build in some ME time to make sure you get good amounts of sleep or cat naps. I know for you new moms, this is tough. I see how much (or how little) my wife sleeps most nights. But be a little selfish and enlist friends and family to assist in this when possible.

But margin for time isn’t just about sleep. Schedule margin into your daily life. We live in a such a fast-paced world that it’s so easy to not allow for any time between events. I remember a recent weekend, we had something Friday evening right after we finished up work on a project. Then Saturday morning was grocery shopping and errands for our house, followed by two different birthday parties. Time was needed to mow the lawn and clean the house, and our kids were begging for some quality family time. Can somebody say “too much”? It can suck the fun right out of the weekend that is meant to be a time to reflect, regroup, and reenergize.

The best way to begin building some margin in your time is to learn to say NO, even when it’s good, to allow time for great!

NEXT UP: TALENT

Each of us has something to offer this world. Our lives are always going to have someone either enlisting you to help build their dream or minimize your gifts by placing more value on their own. Allowing margin to explore and empower your gifting and talent is important to a fulfilled life. We all need to know we are valued and important. Our gift or talent showcases those attributes.

It’s ok to build in margin to allow your passions and pursuits to have first chair and to place your limited time toward your gifts and talents that cause you to thrive! These gifts often invigorate us with more passion and energy toward other endeavors.

But this works two ways as well. Margin should be given to allow your gifts and talent to help others and make this world a better place. So be sure to use your gifts and talent to bless others as well as yourself and see how good that makes you feel.

LASTLY: TREASURE

What do I mean? Money...money...money! Money makes our world go round. We only have so much to do so much. Unfortunately, many in our society are willing to sell our future to have it all now. There is a lack of patience.

Margin in your finances will help you and your family with patience. The good book says to be content with the place you are in. Such sage advice. Our culture has lost contentment. To learn to be ok and happy with what we have means we’ll actually enjoy the present. One of the best ways to build margin in your finances is to form a budget. Don’t let your money tell you where to go. Be honest about where you are currently and then make a goal and do your best to hit the mark. You tell your money where to go. A budget is also a great way to manage expectations of the family, especially children.

Too often we believe the lie, “standard of living=quality of life.” This is not true. Realize you can discipline yourself to enjoy a better quality of life without spending beyond your standard of living. When you begin with a budget, you’re able to stop living on the edge financially, and that’s a good feeling. It all takes time. Don’t worry or hurry but enjoy the journey. It’s better to want than to owe!

It all starts with a decision to change.

Then take one step at a time. Pick one area to begin building margin and then watch the momentum take over into other areas as well. Baby steps with baby goals.

You can do it. I believe in you.

WECAN DO HARD THINGS

Story by Tabitha Blue | Snapshots by Christopher Blue

I’m scared. I don’t know how

His whispers came through as he leaned back on my chest. He’d been playing, the lingering scent of sweat and dirt still in his hair, those soft, whispy locks from his still-baby years. A baby to me anyway.

“I know.” I whispered back. “You want to know what else I know? We can do hard things.” Arms in an envelope, I knew this moment was something to pay attention to. It was a big day, a day of firsts for us all, as a family. We drove a UTV (an ATV large enough to hold our clan) though the bumpy trails of the mountainside. We rode horses over similar mountainside trails. We spent a day under the sun taking in the sights, the fresh air, the random horse stops for a restroom break.

And as I thought about it, my little four year old’s fear and insecurity of riding such a large animal for the first time, I realized that I can tend to walk through life much the same way. Apply a bold lipstick? Yeah I’ve got this (even so, the first time intimidated me). Change a diaper? I can do it with almost one hand (and yet at this too, the first time scared me). Write a sentence or two? Okay I can do that. Cook a meal? I can throw something together. But give me something new, different, a big opportunity…. I’m scared. I don’t know how. For a long time I let those words be my red flag, my stop sign. Fear was a big halt on my life and for embracing new things.

heading towards the mountains on horse back

the whole crew ready for an adventure!

Even this magazine? It has been a dream of mine for a long time… but the fear. What if no one wants it? What if no one downloads or reads these pages we worked so hard to put together? I had to let the dream rise higher than the doubt.

As the calendar ticks down and the days of the year are numbered, it’s so natural to take stock of life; of where we’re at, where we want to go and what we want to do. We look over the goals from the past and many times feel defeated by time… I was supposed to do that. We shrug and move our goals over to the next year’s list.

I remember when a studio for my business was just a dream. Until it wasn’t. We found a place, a space I liked. We toured it, worked out the details and then came the words, “I’m scared. I don’t know how.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” My husband asked. “It doesn’t work? We don’t renew the lease? We move in?” That last one was a bit of a laugh… until it wasn’t. The lease was signed, we began the remodel and then when a home purchase fell through, we moved in. A family of six in a loft with a back room converted to a bedroom. And guess what? It was amazing! We grew closer, we enjoyed living downtown for a season and while there we found our new home that launched our House to Home series.

The lesson? Things don’t always turn out just how we’d expect them to be, but that doesn’t mean they always turn out bad. Sometimes the unexpected ends up becoming the biggest blessing, and even when it’s not, I’ve learned it’s not something to be afraid of. With each change and each season, I’ve grown.

Just call it the school of life.

Here’s the takeaway, dreams can be scary. Big goals? Downright chilling. The effort in starting something new or trying again? Hard. But do you want to know what else I know? WE can do hard things.

As you take stock of your goals, I hope you look at them with renewed vigor. I hope you jump when you get the chance and ride when it’s scary. I hope you just start. Start something, somewhere. From the little steps to the big ones, keep putting one foot in front of the other towards your objective. You won’t end up anywhere you want to be if you’re not moving. And sometimes we won’t know how amazing something is until we try it.

At the end of our horse ride, after an hour of Skylar waxing on about how amazing it was, he concluded that he wanted to have his own ranch full of the very thing that used to scare him; horses.

WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T

story by Tabitha Blue | photography by Briony Skerjance

I’m sitting in a coffee shop writing today. Sometimes I just need to get away… away from the chores like laundry peeking out from the corner, away from the constant “mommy” requests which can be beautiful at times and distracting at other times, away from the house remodel that is so exciting, draining, dream-making (like literally I’ll day dream of the next thing to add to the list!). Today, I wanted to get away because I wanted to focus on this, a note to you. A bit of a journal entry as I’m going to sit undistracted by the swimming of cappuccinos and people I don’t know (white noise if you will), to pour out here, to you.

Maybe I’m writing this because my heart for this magazine is to inspire you to say, I CAN! Life isn’t perfect for anyone and even great photos and glossy pages can’t make it that way. Instead of comparing (because we’ll all find the good when we look and the imperfections when we want to see them), let’s inspire each other toward greatness. If there’s anything I want you to know today it’s this, you’re not alone. If you’re in the thick of the waves and fighting to keep your head up I want you to know, I’ve been there, and goodness, many days I still am. We’ve all done it at some point, hit the proverbial wall of “I can’t” and some days it’s a few times over. Can’t can come in so many forms. It can come in fatigue when you’re just done and don’t want to continue. It can come in sadness, in fear, in pain, and even in joy.

I know the feelings of wanting to hide when creditors are calling, or the agony of starting over when you just don’t want to. I remember the gut punch after losing our baby and seeing the beautiful bouncing babes of others and I just didn’t want to start again, feeling pain and anger that I had to. I recognize those feelings of being used and abused and wondering what kind of life I had left in me… and friend I want to tell you this today – If you’ve got a pulse, there’s still purpose and passion brewing in you. We’ve just got to find the right place to pour it out! But, friend, your story isn’t finished! If you’re going through hell… don’t stop! Keep moving forward.

The article my husband wrote about margin (page 16) can so apply here too, because I’ve also hit the wall of “I can’t” when I’ve had higher expectations on myself than what I could manage. I’m a natural list maker, and sometimes when I get going, the list is longer than there are hours in the day. There are times when a plan doesn’t come together as I’d hoped and then I’m left with, “there isn’t enough time for something to happen, to start over, to change… I can’t.”

This photo is one that was snapped during a photoshoot when things weren’t cooperating with my intentions. This was an “I can’t” moment. A moment I had a choice; to give up and leave everything on the table or to press on and create something beautiful. We have that choice daily. I keep this photo on my computer desktop to remind me that life happens (and also because I haven’t cleaned off my desktop in ages, it’s a mess!), and it’s my choice to allow circumstances to stop me or I can embrace the opportunity rising before me.

Ready for a couple of practical solutions? Something we’ve started in our home lately is asking ourselves this question, “What is the one important thing today?” Sometimes it’s a project, sometimes it’s writing, sometimes it’s a big goal, and other times it’s a small one. Sometimes it’s family time. While I still have my list, I’ll choose the most important or the most urgent and learn to celebrate when it’s crossed off. Then, I can move on from there knowing my one big thing is done and everything else is cake.

So this might not be something new, but stepping away from what seems overwhelming is one of the best ways to clear my head and get a fresh perspective. I know when I give myself some time off, I come back prepared and ready to take on whatever tasks are in front of me, and the work I put out is so much more productive and enjoyable. It’s amazing how a break can bring you a completely new mindset.

In a world of more, take the opposite ideal and stop multi-tasking. Even though I know better, I still do it! Focus is such a integral element of creativity. So together, let’s do less (at a time, remember that one big goal), but do it better!

To wrap up this coffee-house rant, a letter to you, I hope you keep going. Keep doing, keep being, keep growing and I can’t wait to see the amazing things that are poured out from you!