How Do You HOME?

Home is WHEREVER WE ARE

BY AUTUMN KINSEY | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANNIE GROVES

We have a sign in our house that says “Home is Where the Coast Guard Sends Us” with a list of all the places we’ve been stationed since my husband and I were married. While that sign is partially true (and getting pretty long!), our family knows that our definition of home is just slightly different than most. Even for a military family, our 6 moves in 9 years is on the high end. Thankfully, our three children, ages 7, 4, and almost 2 embrace this life and have actually been begging to move this year, even though it’s not time yet!

Throughout our many moves, I’ve become an expert at setting up our house. I have a system that starts with packing all of the kids special items in our luggage and includes setting up our household goods as close to the last house as possible. It’s always a challenge, but it makes settling in and finding things just a little bit easier each time. We do this as quickly as possible and immediately start finding the fun in our new locale. In each place we’ve lived, we have had a “go to” spot. Whether that is the baby tide pools on Oahu, Mudd Key offshore Key West, beginners in New Orleans, or the trail head in Clear water, we always find somewhere to be together and enjoy our new environment.

Home is not a place for us. It's just what we are, together or apart. Sometimes it’s a feeling that may not show up for a couple months because daddy had to deploy before we moved in. Or one that shows up in a hotel room or furnished townhome before we get our household goods. It may just be the feeling we have as we explore in the car before we are settled in a new area. It’s hard to explain, but as much as having a specific geographic place that is home is typical for most people, knowing how to move our family and still be home is exactly what we strive to do.

Sometimes I worry that my children won't have a good answer to the question “where are you from?” or “where do you call home?” Even as an adult, I identify as being an Iowan. What will my kids say when people ask them where their home is?

To be honest, this isn't a question I want to attempt to answer for them. Because I know all three of my kids will have vastly different answers and I can't wait to see how each of them perceives their childhood and this crazy home we’ve made of our life. I'm sure at least one of them will say something that breaks my heart, but I also anticipate that they will have garnered more positive experiences from our home than I could possibly imagine.

Our life ultimately revolves around our home and while it's a bit different than most, it's perfect for us.

Autumn Kinsey is a stay at home mom of 3, a proud Coast Gaurd wife, a passionate budget guru, and an MVP Contributor to Parental Guidance. You can follow her and her crazy life on Instagram at @autumnmkinsey

Home is a FEELING NOT A PLACE

BY AMBER MAMIAN | PHOTOGRAPHY BY NATALIE IN SAN DIEGO FOR @FLYTOGRAPHER

Eight years ago I boarded a plane headed to Addis Ababa Ethiopia to meet my 4 year old son for the very first time. The goal was to bring him home. When I think about it I was ignorant in my understanding of what the meaning of home really should be.

I will never forget the feeling walking through the rain into a dark, cold, cement-lined room in the orphanage (the power had gone out due to the rain) and laying my eyes on the most beautiful chocolate skinned little boy. He looked smaller and darker than his photo but his gorgeous eyes and infectious smile assured me I was looking at the right kid.

Forming a relationship with a child whom you have never met and whom has just undergone extreme trauma is no walk in the park. However, what he has taught me about unconditional love the past 8 years has changed me forever.

As a mother of three biological children, I took for granted the bonds we shared. I hadn’t realized that by attending to my children’s needs as infants, they learned to trust me and the world around them. Adopted children don’t always have that luxury. Growing up in an orphanage teaches them that resources are scarce and people (especially parents/caregivers) can’t be trusted.

Thankfully, children are resilient. Though the odds were against him, my son worked incredibly hard to be able to let down his guard and learn to love (and trust) again. It is why in our home being considered part of someone’s family is an earned honor. It requires a commitment, unwavering support and unconditional love. And, it is not something we just talk about, it is something we show through our actions on a daily basis.

My son has also taught me that home is more of a feeling than a place. One of the biggest struggles for my son when he came home was feeling out of place. Growing up in Ethiopia life was very different than in the states. He had grown accustomed to different scenes, tastes and sounds. Trying to manage his way in a brand new culture was extremely difficult and it certainly didn’t feel like home.

We’ve had quite a few discussions about his experience and I remember one very vividly. We had returned to Ethiopia to visit some of his relatives and on the car ride back to our hotel, he broke down in tears. I asked him what was the matter and he said he felt like he belonged in two different places. Home was Ethiopia but, now that he had lived with us for years, home was also in California.

To connect with Amber Mamian and hear more about her story, you can visit her site WWW.GLOBALMUNCHKINS.COM or https://globalmunchkins.com/adoption/our-first-adoptionstory-grab-some-tissues/ and be sure to follow her on Instagram at @global_munchkins

Home is WHAT YOU MAKE IT

BY TABITHA BLUE | PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRIONY SKERJANCE

“It’ll be an adventure,” I promised. It was a move that transformed the shape of our home, literally.

Just a month after the birth of my fourth, we moved into our downtown loft. It was a space that we’d converted for our studio... a space where we could shoot and film recipes I’d create with the brands I was working with. It was a place to host workshops and events. It was a space for brand styling and photo shoots... and now? It was becoming a space my family of SIX would live until we found our home.

We’d been house-hunting for months. Maybe it was the hormones from pregnancy or just the desire to plant some deeper roots, but I was craving a place to settle into, a place to call home (and that little desire became the tag-line on our renovation series on YouTube, called House to Home).

What I didn’t realize, the path to our home was taking quite a turn and with this move into our loft, I’d see “home” through a whole different lens.

In the previous homes we rented, we had room to spread out a little, and even rented out a room or two at times to others that needed it. So, after putting in a kitchen to the loft for filming (when there wasn’t one previously) and updating the bathroom of our studio to a working space, there wasn’t much else needed when the time came for us to move in. In a turn of events, the home we had put an offer on fell through and we needed a place to go.

The small extra room in the back (that was supposed to be for storage) became a shared kids room and the loft upstairs held a crib next to our bed for the master bedroom. We built clothing racks because there weren’t any closets, a much different terrain than we’d grown used to with extra bedrooms.

Something that year taught me, is that home truly is what you make it. We grew close as a family. There wasn’t a yard to send the kids out to play or bedrooms to retreat to, because for the most part, it was a wide-open living space. But, there was a library across the street and shops on Main Street that we’d load up the stroller and walk to, together. There was no garage, but we did add hooks on the walls to hang our kayak and bicycles (a definite downtown-loft type of decor!). There was plenty of furniture rearranging to make it feel cozy, a Christmas spent there and lots of memories and stories we laugh about now.

After moving from rental to rental (four moves in just five years), during the first few years of my kids' lives, I can definitely attest to the fact that home is what you make it.

Through it all, we’ve learned that we can live in just about any landscape, and sometimes what may seem the most terrifying can actually deliver some of the most beautiful bonding moments.