Spectrum by GEN-ZiNE by GEN-ZiNE

cover

fix spectrum of selfhood title fix by rachel bernstein on piece (font) fix gradient on crisis (Leyla’s piece) belly button thing on balance shefalis piece reposition lily’s piece make look better via gradient new order afterwork & intro table of contents cover

TABLE

The Power Of I Don’t Know

The Silent Introduction: Style and What You Say Without Speaking

Written by Rebecca Aisenberg, Designed by Kathryn Aurelio

Written by Tamanna Sood, Designed by Kathryn Aurelio

The Struggles of Living in an (Assumed) Hyphen

Navigating the Political Spectrum In a Culture That Forces You to Pick a Side

Written by Shefali Murti, Designed by Ari Silverman

Written by Ariana Wafer, Designed by Daisy Bell

Political Frenemies

The Strange and Beautiful Ways We Connect Back on Campus

Written by Alana MacMahon, Designed by Albie Camara

Written by Rachel Bernstein, Designed by Charan Ravikumar

What is Normal?

Comfort in the Unknowing: Navigating the Racial Spectrum

Written by Bailey Harris, Designed by Albie Camara

Written by Cecilia Pou, Designed by Albie Camara

I Documented my Media Consumption for the Day

The National Identity Crisis

Written by Tamilore Odunsi, Designed by Rileigh Sullivan

Written by Anoushka Khemka, Designed by Charan Ravikumar

CONTENTS 38

Mental Health or Milking It: the Generational Spectrum of Wellness Written by Lauren Faust, Designed by Daisy Bell

Fall: A Cultural Oxymoron

New Money Versus No Money: the South LA Financial Divide

Written by T’aa’aanii Tate, Designed by Kathryn Aurelio

Written by Kelsey Goldbach, Designed by Rileigh Sullivan

The Spectrum of Selfhood

Finding a Balance: An Identity Crisis Brought About by a Jolt Back Into Civilizing

Written by Grace Waichler, Designed by Charan Ravikumar

Written by Leyla Winston, Designed by Ari Silverman

The Blueprints to a Healthy Self-Definition

Meeting Yourself for the First Time

How to Live a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

Criticizing Double Standards Because it Creates a Divide

Want Me: the Paradox of Female Sexuality

Written by Joshua Ryu, Designed by Daisy Bell

Written by Cristina Barco, Designed by Alaina Vivian

Written by Andriana Thomopoulou, Designed by Ari Silverman

Written by Sydney Fiorentino, Designed by Daisy Bell

Written by Lily Muscarella, Designed by Alaina Vivian

CONTRIBUTORS Leadership

Contributors

Editor-in-Chief - Cecilia Pou Creative Director - Daisy Bell Gen Editor - Himani Pangal

Alana MacMahon Bailey Harris Kelsey Goldbach Sydney Fiorentino Leyla Winston Rachel Bernstein Lily Muscarella Anoushka Khemka Ariana Wafer Tamanna Sood Andriana Thomopoulou Grace Waichler Cecilia Pou Joshua Ryu Rebecca Aisenberg Cristina Barco Tamilore Odunsi Shefali Murti T’aa’aanii Tate Lauren Faust

Editors Aimee Pham Margot May Kendra Kalish Olivia Novato Lauren Faust

contributors

Designers Albie Camara Rileigh Sullivan Ari Silverman Kathryn Aurelio Charan Ravikumar Alaina Vivian Daisy Bell

LETTER FROM THE E D I T O R Dear GEN-ZiNE readers, This issue of GEN-ZiNE marks an important transition: the first time a Zine has been produced without the leadership of the founding members. As our founders graduated from the University of Southern California last spring, members of GEN-ZiNE found ourselves stepping into a newfound sense of responsibility. We had to learn to continue the legacy of GEN-ZiNE at USC, sticking to the original vision of our founders, while simultaneously making the organization our own. Personally, I have not found this to be an easy transition. With limited experience serving in an editorial or leadership role, I needed to grow a lot. Thank you to all of the members of the USC GEN-ZiNE community for being patient and allowing me to make mistakes and learn from them. Looking forward, I truly cannot wait to go onto the spring semester and further the reach and impact of GEN-ZiNE.

letter from the editor

Now, onto more important things. We chose the theme of this Zine, ‘Spectrum,’ as an organization. The dictionary definition of spectrum is as follows: used to classify something in terms of its position on a scale between two extreme or opposite points. We live in a society that relies on binaries. We use binaries to categorize identity: straight or gay, male or female, introvert or extrovert. We also use binaries to label ideas: liberal or conservative, right or wrong. We find these rigid labels to be comforting. They organize the world for us in easily understandable terms and reduce any uncertainty or confusion. But in relying on these binaries, we shove both individuals and ideas into narrowly defined categories— failing to encapsulate their multifaceted nature. Both identities and ideas are made up of contradictions, confusion, and uncertainty. By eliminating grey area for the sake of comfort, we eliminate space for rumination, exploration, and growth. In reading this Zine, you will hear the voices of individuals attempting to uncover their beliefs and identities in a world which exists in black and white. You will hear the voices of individuals who struggle to fully accept the rigid labels which are placed on them. You will hear the voices of individuals who refuse to identify ideas as strictly “right” or “wrong.” You will hear the voices of individuals who wish to exist within a spectrum, rather than be defined by binaries. I hope you enjoy it. Best, Cecilia Pou

THE POWER OF

I DON‘T K NOW WRITTEN BY REBECCA AISENBERG

I’m going to say it. We’re all a bunch of know-it-alls. We open our phones and lying in front of us are the answers to any and every question, unlimited access to any tidbit of information. Now, don’t get defensive. I know all too well that feeling you get when you hear someone use that same old generalization about us young people: we are entirely dependent on technology, we are addicted to our phones, et cetera, et cetera. There is pressure (and annoyance) that stems from this assumption about us and our relationship with information and technology. But I’d like to look at the other side: the part we don’t always think about. It’s the idea that not only are we perceived as a generation of “know-it-alls,” but we are expected to be. Because we have constant access to news and social media, there is an immense pressure to not only know what we believe and where we stand on issues, but also how we identify — who we are. There is much freedom to be found in this, but there is also a downfall to it. Combined with the increasing polarization of our society, a mentality of having to know and be in the know is dangerous and risks putting us into boxes, confining us to extremes of belief, and positioning us at the far ends of spectrums. “I don’t know.” A simple phrase of three

words that, to me, is so important. I say, “I don’t know” all the time. I use it casually in day-to-day conversation: making plans, answering text messages, talking with friends. “I don’t know” is bigger than just that; it can serve a more important purpose. It can bridge the gap between the opposite ends of a spectrum. It can allow us to listen, to learn, and to change our minds. It can lead to a curiosity, a seeking out of information, rather than a stubborn loyalty to one’s own views. We are all expected to fall under a political category: liberal, conservative, Democrat, Republican, left or right. More and more, these labels unite us with people that share our beliefs and alienate us from those that don’t. More and more, we can see how harmful this is for political progress. Picture two ends of a spectrum moving farther and farther away from each other. With less and less common ground between leftleaning and right-leaning policymakers, for example, we face further stand-still and gridlock over policies. On top of that, we see increased violence, anger, and hatred between members of opposite sides of the spectrum. Each side thinks that they are right, that they know best. But what if we all admitted that we don’t know everything? What would happen to that spectrum?

? ???

enough. And no matter how much I cared, it wasn’t enough. All that mattered was what I showed to my Instagram followers, almost all of whom shared my exact same beliefs. I felt guilty for not being aware of every single thing happening everywhere in the world.

That’s when I realized that the issue with social media activism is that it rejects “I When applied to political polarization, “I don’t know.” It says to the person that don’t know” could very well be a saving doesn’t know, “you must not care enough” grace. It could cause those ends of the or “you must not be trying hard enough.” spectrum to stop drifting farther apart And to that, I reply: all we can do is our best. and maybe even start coming together. If We can care without performativity. We can each side of the political spectrum decided be experts on some things and not know to admit a fallacy, it would humanize and a single thing about others. We are all just legitimize everyone involved, opening a figuring it out. previously closed forum for discussion and negotiation for bipartisanship and progress. “I don’t know” is hard. “I don’t know” is vulnerable. “I don’t know” can be the answer “I don’t know” can serve a purpose on a to a really tough question. “I don’t know” more individual level as well. I had to step can be temporary. “I don’t know” can be away from social media activism. Too much powerful, encouraging self-discovery and of the energy surrounding it made me feel further inquiry. “I don’t know” means, “I’m as if no matter what I was doing, it wasn’t not perfect, but I’m figuring it out.” I think enough. No matter how hard I tried, it we could all say “I don’t know” just a little more. wasn’t

I come from a background of fabric. The paternal side of my family created a livelihood by selling muhl muhl, a specific soft muslin created by mulberry, in Hoshiarpur, Punjab, India. My maternal side was experienced in zardosi embroidery and established themselves as artisans dedicated to the craft. It was destiny for me to become a paramour of fashion. Clothing, for me, has always been about expressing things about myself I could never voice with my words. Fashion has allowed me to uncover parts of myself I never knew existed. It has allowed me to explore who I am and reaffirm the way I present myself to the world.

Fashion and identity are concepts that have been intrinsically linked since the beginning of time. From women in the Victorian era designing custom corsets to contemporary upcyclers adding their own personal flair to the clothing they buy, self-representation through fashion is not a new concept, but one that is always evolving and growing. An individual’s personality and identity influence what they wear, causing every being on this planet to have a style that is completely their own. What one wears and how they carry their clothing is often one of the first things we notice about a person. It’s a silent introduction. Fashion introduces you to the world without ever saying a word. It’s the most visible and literal way one can express themselves. Self expression through fashion allows you to subvert what is normal and create something that is entirely unique and personal to you. The spectrum of gender, especially in fashion, is constantly being broken down and reinvented. Not only does this subversion of normal break down canons; it also breaks down stereotypes and opens doors for consumers to explore themselves more and feel comfortable in trying something new.

“

THROUGH

ALLOWS YOU TO WHAT IS

”

Fashion, which is so often associated with the concept of vanity, is actually so much more than that. In some ways, fashion is a revolution and a battle. Some individuals, in their rejection of wearing what is “normal and correct,” fight a battle that is much more than clothing. It is one dedicated to owning their own power and autonomy. In the current digital age, social media is the number one influencer of trends and fashion. Social media, in some ways, has made fashion and knowledge about fashion much more accessible to a larger group of people. Social media exposes large audiences to different styles of fashion, and as a result allows them to explore different facets of their own style. .

The journey one goes through to find their own style tells them not only about what suits their visual appearance, but also what gives them the most happiness and satisfaction. Personal style, in this way, acts not only as a way of self-expression but also as an outlet for sharing emotion. Fashion allows us to use our body as a canvas to paint on through different styles of clothing, hair, and accessories. This self-expression allows us to be comfortable in our own skin and as a result gives security and a sense of power. Our style not only is something that we use to communicate to the world, but also something that we use to communicate with ourselves.

u r t g S g e le h T f Living in

o an (assumed) Hyphen My dad likes to joke with my siblings and me, saying “you are not Indian or Hindu, you are American. Being Indian/ Hindu is your heritage, your origin, but not at all your present culture! You’re American!” Although he says it in a laughing manner, it rings true all the same. I did not grow up completely immersed in Indian culture or Hindu practices; the life I live is truly “American.” Despite my personal acceptance and agreement with this — that I am American — society seems to want to push back against this. And this is not a unique experience; there always seems to be dissonance between peoples’ personal identities and the public’s perception of peoples’ identities. From the get-go it was hard for me to grapple with the fact 14

that I’m simply American because of something as widely used and simple as standardized tests. Those general background questions at the beginning of the test were always my demise. There was never any “Asian American” or “American” option; the options were more single identity related, like “Black,” “Asian,” or “European/White.” Though it seems obvious that I should just choose Asian, my younger self couldn’t understand this, and to this day I wouldn’t feel comfortable only filling in the Asian bubble. I didn’t find it fair at all for standardized tests to single out race and ethnicity (along with other identities such as gender). They were not accounting for the fact that identity is a spectrum!

By Shefali Murti

Though I am, like my Dad says, simply “American,” I suppose the technical term for my racial/ethnic identity is Asian American. I am an American of Asian descent, so this is exactly fitting. For a long time, Asian American was spelled with a hyphen combining the two words. This was controversial for the very reasons that I felt uncomfortable: that attaching a hyphen takes away from either part of an individual’s identity. No matter whether the person identifies more as Asian or more as American (or even right in the middle), the hyphen detracts from that.

“For a long time, Asian American was spelled with a hyphen combining the two words. This was controversial for the very reasons that I felt uncomfortable: that attach ing a hyphen takes away from either part of an individual’s identity.” With the realization that identity is an individually determined experience, that identity is a spectrum and that individuals

should be able to define that for themselves, the hyhen was officially dropped as being grammatically correct. But despite this hyphen drop, I still feel pressures of not being Asian enough, but also not being American enough. It always felt (and still feels) like, because of the color of my skin, I am often assumed to be fully immersed into the Indian culture that I look like I am a part of. It’s because of my skin color that I don’t feel accepted as just being “American.” Obviously I think it is important for people to feel connected to their heritage and roots, but since I did not grow up in a way that connected me to these roots, I don’t currently feel a need to portray and fully identify with that part of myself. As I said before, being Asian American is a spectrum. I may present as South Asian, but I primarily identify with an American lifestyle. I know this about myself, but when will the world be able to recognize and accept that too?

ing the pectrum In a Culture that Forces You to Pick a Side

WRITTEN 16

ARIANA

WAFER

You turn 18. You move out. You start col-

lege and slowly start to notice that your conversations, social media feeds, and maybe even the beliefs you grew up with start to change. It’s no longer prom pics, graduation photos, talks about the football game Friday night or where you’re going to school next year. You have entered a new chapter in your life. This chapter seems to be filled with a range of emotions that you may have never felt before because you’re now being exposed to information you once assumed did not pertain to or interest you. You haven’t begun watching the news every evening or listening to political radio hosts in the morning. Yet, you’ve discovered an urge to participate in tough conversations that may be unfamiliar to you. Welcome, you have stumbled upon the world of politics. But, I do have to warn you: from this exact moment of realization, you have approximately 72 hours to pick a side. Left or right? Red or blue? While the hour constraint may have been an exaggeration, the fact that once you pick a side you’re forced to buy all in is not. You may not even realize that you have just indoctrinated yourself into an echochamber where the “other side” is plagued with inept, incompassionate neo-Nazis that have undergone heart transplants with some of the most ungodly figures in our world’s history. This “party” that you have joined is in fact no fiesta, but a cult that you must fully and whole-heartedly buy into. There is no room for disagreement and the unspoken rule is that you must, at all costs, attempt to ostracize anyone who dares to disagree with your party’s beliefs. Exciting, right? What you believed to have been an awakening milestone in your development into adulthood, now seems a lot less welcoming — almost frightening, in a sense. We as a culture have abandoned the possibility of politics being ambiguous.

There is only left or right, red or blue, evil or good. But why such extreme polarization? We have segregated our communities and have been conditioned to be intolerant of those who do not share the same ideologies as ourselves. We have become closed-minded and neglect hearing the perspective of the “other side.” We no longer engage in healthy disagreements about how to solve public policy problems. We now refuse to exist harmoniously with a neighbor who doesn’t share our politics. We have become an antagonistic group of parties that see compromise and negotiation as treachery. So, how does one navigate the political spectrum when you are forced to choose? Yes, I said political spectrum because it is just that: a spectrum. While we may identify with a certain party, in no way does that require us to alter our beliefs and morals to directly align with that one party. As Americans, we know a little something about freedom. Yet, this freedom seems to be absent in politics. If you are a Republican, you breathe and bleed Trump and if you are a Democrat, you believe socialism will be America’s Lord and Savior. While there may be a few from each side of the aisle that agree with these terms, it is unrealistic to mold each and every individual into that cookie cutter. Most beliefs, legislation, political parties, and media sources cannot even be easily labeled as left or right wing since they most likely include some level of overlap. People, even those who identify as left-wing or right-wing, often favor one or two concepts from the opposing side of the spectrum, whether they want to admit it or not. We must learn to once again accept this and recognize how positive it is that we are able to find at least a few commonalities between the two parties. It allows us to somewhat abandon the rigid labels that we have dubbed our political identities and

maintain an open-minded society. Doing ou turn You move out. You colthis helps us 18. steer clear of having anstart overly lege, and slowly to start notice your simplistic approach theto issues ourthat nation conversations, social media feeds, and mayfaces and instead analyze political parties bepolicies even the youmerits. grew up with, start and onbeliefs their own to change. It’s no longer prom pics and talksinto about football To graduation help ease aphotos, newcomer thethe world of game Friday night, or where you’re going politics, you must learn to be comfortable to school year. You have entered new with being next uncomfortable. You must abechapter yourhaving life. This chapter seems to come okayinwith difficult conversabe filled with a range of emotions you tions with people you may not see eye that to eye may have because you’re with. But, younever can’tfelt justbefore be open to having now being exposed to learn information you the conversation. You must to be emonce assumed did not pertain to or interest pathetic towards a perspective that’s differyou. You haven’t watching news ent from your own. begun You cannot write the off the every evening or listening to political radio other side as being incompetent or evil, but in common the morning. Yet, you’ve discovered tryhosts to find ground. You cannot be an urge to participate in tough conversaafraid to speak your mind and must be certions thatbeliefs, may be unfamiliar to you. Weltain in your even if they differ from come, stumbled the world the partyyou youhave associate with.upon Our country of politics. is a melting pot of different cultures, races, But, Iand do have to warn you: from this and religions that plays a crucial role in exact moment of realization, you have determining the political ideologies a per-approximately 72 hours to pick a side. Left or son follows. We must be cognizant of this. right? Red or blue? While the hour constraint may have been an exaggeration, Our world, which is inevitably terrifying,the fact that once you pick more a sidescary you’re has become increasingly asforced we to buy all in is not. You may not even realwatch our nation fall victim to political poize that you have just indoctrinated yourlarization. Be the change the country may an echochamber “other beself toointo scared to see. Do not where cave tothe confirside” is plagued with inept, incompassiomation bias. Do not demonize people of the sionate, that haveLearn undergone “rival” party,neo-Nazis but befriend them. from heart transplants with some of the and partake in uncomfortable dialogue. most Be ungodly our world’s history. This firm in yourfigures beliefs.inDo your research. And that voice you have joined regardless is in fact no do“party” not let your be silenced, fiesta, but a cult that you must fully, and of your views. whole-heartedly buy into. There is no room for disagreement, and the unspoken rule that you must, at all costs, attempt to ostracize anyone who dares to disagree with your party’s beliefs has to be closely followed. Exciting, right? What you believed to have been an awakening milestone in your development into adulthood, now seems a lot less welcoming — almost frightening, in a sense. We as a culture have abandoned the possibility of politics being ambiguous. There is only left or right, red or blue,

While combing through social media, do you see rants on the political news of the day? Do you unfollow the friends who you disagree with politically? Scrolling through social media can at times confound tensions and even enrage us. Unlike any previous generation, we post our opinions online in real time while concurrently developing a perspective beyond our upbringing. I flashback to the giant T**** display in one neighbor’s yard, complete with a huge blowup image, an even huger flag and the hugest colorful standing light display in the neighborhood spelling out their idol’s name. This one neighbor was not alone in his enthusiasm. I remember MAGA signs blending into Christmas decorations well after the 2020 election and far into the new year. I watched the January 6th attack on the United States Capital in Washington, D.C. unfold on my TV and thought, “how the f*** am I supposed to empathize with anyone who aligns with this ideology?” Back when I was mourning the results of the 2016 election along with my more liberal leaning friends, other good friends skipped school to go to a T**** rally. I felt a sense of sadness at the divide but knew that our friendships were strong enough to survive. Since then, seeing content on social media is a constant reminder of the grave impact politicians have on our democracy and our future. Many of my college friends were “surprised” by the swing in voting trends among Latino voters in South Florida. Geographic proximity, combined with shared experiences and ideology, can be very influential in their limitations. How do we break through physical and perceived isolation? Is social media the answer? In-per-

son communication? How do we break down barriers and find common ground? This may be an age-old question, but new challenges and opportunities are now in play. Even before social media, political disputes between family members ended what should have been happy reunions prematurely. Once, after driving two hours to a family dinner in Miami, my father and his brother got in an argument and we turned around and drove home within 10 minutes of arriving--well before the meal. At this time, political parties were an affiliation or ideological umbrella under which a mix of beliefs and emotions could be loosely organized. Now, politics is not just an affiliation, but a polarizing identity. Arguments over tax codes are overshadowed by issues of morality, freedom, gender, and race. The flames are further fanned by our chosen media and social circles. For better or worse, you can’t pick your family or neighbors. At family gatherings, I learned early that not even grown adults like to admit they might be wrong or accept further education. Sometimes it will be necessary to call people “out” on their views. However, when you have a personal relationship with someone, calling them “in” can help to lower defenses. The lines of communication only remain open when you respect views different from your own. Family, friends, and neighbors share common experiences. I bond with neighbors regarding our dogs, school, and community events. Friends are there for one another

to vent over perceived wrongs or cry over lost loves. And family will always be family. As political divides have become even more extreme, political affiliations sometimes make me question whether my values are still aligned with those of my friends. This is especially true online when I may be sent a short Tik Tok and take that as my friend’s opinion. If I relied on this quick content alone, I would have a lot of unfollowing and unfriending to do. I, myself, send content about the latest environmental or social crisis and some friends are probably sick of those too. However, if I unfriend everyone I disagreed with on any given day, the opportunity is lost to connect and my world becomes smaller. By listening -- or viewing with an open mind -- I am hopefully met with that same respect. With such a diverse student population, the University of Southern California and universities in general, provide the perfect opportunity for enlightening conversations. As students enrolled in learning for a finite period, we should not limit ourselves to groups with similar opinions. I, myself, am guilty of enjoying and relying on the “friends for life” I have made who share similar interests. Yet, for all the current talk at universities and in the corporate world about diverse perspectives, the student body tends to naturally gravitate to like-minded groups. While we champion diversity and it makes a great talking point for interviews, it’s easier said than done. Politics are imbedded with ideology that can divide us. It is mentally taxing to have conversations that provoke your fight or flight response. Sometimes it is necessary to pass on a conversation or an individual

to maintain your sanity and focus. If someone disrespects you or resorts to name calling, bullying or violence it is time to cut the cord and save your energy for more worthy pursuits. But, when the energy is there and it is possible to be a friend first and a political advocate second, you allow opposing viewpoints room to breathe. It creates the space for new ideas and friendships to take off and flourish in different directions. We are more than our politics. I may be shouting that the planet is on fire while some friends couldn’t care less, but for the sake of a friendship we can agree to disagree for now. As long as we both like dogs.

BY RACHEL BERNSTEIN

BY: RACHEL BERNSTEIN

The other day I was talking with a friend, as The other day I was talking with a friend as we walked outside, masks hanging lazily we walked outside, masks hanging lazily IURP RXU ŦQJHUV ń,łP LQWULJXHG Ņ , VDLG ńWR from our fingers. “I’m intrigued,” I said, “to hear what studies are going to say about hear what studies are going to say about how the pandemic has impacted us for how the pandemic has impacted us for WKH UHVW RI RXU OLYHV 'HŦQLWHO\ LQ RWKHU ZD\V the rest of our lives. It definitely has in OLNH HPRWLRQDOO\ %XW , WKLQN VRFLDOO\ ZH other ways, like emotionally. Also, socially I PLJKW EH D ELW VFUHZHG Ņ think we might be a bit screwed.” ń2K QR Ņ 6KH VDLG ń:HłUH GHŦQLWHO\ D OLWWOH “Oh no,” She said. “We’re definitely a little

ELW VRFLDOO\ VWXQWHG Ņ bit socially stunted.” I was half-kidding and she was too, beI was half-kidding and she was too, beFDXVH WKDWłV RQH RI WKH PDLQ ZD\V ZH KDYH cause that’s one of the main ways we have learned to cope throughout the pandemlearned to cope throughout the pandemLF EXW ZH ZHUH DOVR EHLQJ VHULRXV ic, but we were also being 100% serious. In fact, she is one of the few friends that I In fact, she is one of the few friends that managed to keep a relationship going with I managed to keep a relationship goWKURXJKRXW WKH GDUNHVW GD\V RI &29,' ing with throughout the darkest days of :H VFKHGXOHG RXU YLGHR FKDWV EHWZHHQ COVID-19. We scheduled our video chats

binge-watching sessions and doom-scrolling and crying because of the state of the world. . . and homework. This might be why it was quite so jarring to arrive back on campus. I didn’t do a lot of socializing throughout the pandemic (for obvious reasons), so I was in for a shock when we returned. I think I realized on maybe my fifth day back that the way we socialize had changed-- even in the smallest of ways. First of all, there is now a massive divide between people (and not only of the political kind). Some are far more comfortable than others in social settings, some are avoiding them for health reasons, and others because they are too scared to insert themselves back into the social scene. It’s not easy to do that right now. There’s an uncertainty as we do that awkward little side-shuffle when we meet someone. We have a script running inside our heads that we’ve been forced to rewrite. Do we give that weird elbow bump, a handshake, a hug when we meet someone? It’s awkward and it’s uncomfortable and it’s a physical manifestation of our anxiety about this past year and a half. I was on an office hours Zoom with a professor the other day and the immediate comment we both had was that we could finally see the bottom half of each other’s face. This brought the startling realization that I don’t really know what my classmates’ or my professors’ faces look like. I know what their mask of choice is, but I don’t know about that distinctive birthmark on their left cheek. How weird it is to know that they color coordinate their mask to their shoes, but to only be able to identify them based on their eyes and forehead. I was unsure of how this semester was going to look and frankly, I’m still learning.

It’s difficult to meet new people and we’re all still learning how to do that. We’re saying: “can you repeat that?” as we navigate listening to people through the mask in class and we’re learning to have more patience with our professors, as they navigate hybrid learning. Maybe that’s the silver lining in all of this -I think that most of us are kinder now than we were before. It’s no secret that there is a sort of emotional whiplash that students in particular are experiencing. In March of 2020, we were ripped from the world we knew and thrust into a new world with Zoom and “unprecedented times.” And now suddenly, we’re back in that previous world -- with its tweaks. Students are just as aware of that as we were when one of us was having Internet issues during the darkest months of COVID. It’s not easy being back and remembering that it takes ten minutes to walk from one class to the next, instead of being a Zoom link away. We’re finding new ways to make connections and transcend the necessary masks, despite it being difficult. As students, so many of us have missed out on the formative months of socializing and networking that were expected when we first arrived on campus. It isn’t what any of us expected, but looking past the difficulties of relearning to socialize, there lies a certain beauty in the grace that we must give one another now.

by Bailey Harris

What is “Normal”?

I don’t shave my legs. The swirling tendrils of brown hair that decorate my calves and run up my thighs are nearly two years old and still growing. I have no plans on shaving them any time soon and I revel in the freedom to display my body in a way I choose. I actually like having leg hair and I came to this conclusion during the pandemic after embarking on a personal journey to discover my identity. And as I came to find out, displaying my legs with all their beautiful freckles, hair, and scars to the world makes me happy.

It is quite peculiar that we have forced ourselves into an existence where everything we do is filtered into the binary labels of “normal” or “abnormal,” “right” or “wrong.” It is so limiting and emotionally taxing and it seems as though there is a “correct” way to do just about everything.

But, I am aware that this is not “normal.”

You have to follow the herd and join the most popular social media sites. You always have to be conscious of your actions in relation to how they are perceived by the world around you.

If you are assigned female at birth, female-identifying, or fem perceived, you are expected to shave your legs. And your armpits. And your private areas and your unibrow and your mustache and every other part of your body that dares to grow hair outside of the confines of your head until you are as hairless as a new born baby. This expectation, this rule, has come to be understood as “normal” and any deviation from this ruling is declared “wrong” rather than simply “abnormal.”

You have to be in the know and watch the right shows. You have to abide by current trends and wear the right clothes.

And it is tiring. It is tiring trying to convince yourself that you enjoy things simply because others do. It is tiring to find the time to take part in personal hobbies as well as those we feel compelled to take part in. It is tiring to deviate from the masses and find your own opinion and voice. It is simply tiring to live for the world instead of for yourself.

And how did we get here? How have we arrived at a way of thinking in which everything is normal or simply wrong? Do we crave the acceptance of others to such an extent that we sacrifice personal satisfaction for a false sense of belonging? Take a look at nerds. Merriam Webster Dictionary defines a nerd as “a person devoted to intellectual, academic, or technical pursuits or interests.” Nerds are simply a group of passionate individuals who show an interest in a specific topic and we have the audacity to mockingly call them “nerdy.” We have twisted the word into an insult as though it is deserving of shame to be fascinated by things that make us happy. Why do we find the nature of those who have unique inhibitions so unsettling? And in direct opposition to this, we have the idea of being “basic.” We criticize people, predominantly young women, for liking things that too many other people enjoy. Starbucks is “basic.” Leggings are “basic.” Drinking from a Hydroflask is “basic.” But why? Starbucks is tasty, leggings are comfortable, and Hydroflasks are high-utility water bottles. It is no surprise that these things are widely beloved, so why do we demonize one another for finding joy in them? It is a hypocritical conundrum that we have found ourselves in. To be unique, to stand out from the crowd, to be “abnormal” is looked down upon. And yet, to blend in with the masses, to be too “normal,” to simply try to fit in is somehow also wrong.

So now, we have arrived at the thesis of this article which is that: there is no such thing as normal.

that has been created, is simply one version of life rather than the only or best version of life.

Normal is limiting. Normal is boring. Normal does not exist.

So how do we defy it? How do we defy such overpowering societal norms that have been put in place and feel so overwhelming? Well, we start small. We start with what we can control. We do what makes us happy. A simple idea, I know, possibly a naive one, but truly the best course of action. We simply begin by choosing personal happiness.

There is only a false perception of normality and it has been masterfully created throughout history. However, I feel that it is most commonly communicated through our media today, specifically in movies and TV. According to the movies, the “perfect woman” is blonde, thin, commonly white, and perfectly content to spend their life as a stay-at-home parent. And while none of these characteristics are inherently harmful on their own, they are traits that are not applicable to the masses and therefore creates feelings of wrongness in those who can’t meet these impossible standards. It is this emotional impact of the perceived idea of “correctness” that is most heartbreaking. I know that we have all done it. We have all looked in the mirror and compared ourselves to those we’ve seen on TV. Or we have found ourselves in situations where we have acted in ways that are in direct contrast to how the movies portray said scenario and judged ourselves for it. We have all told ourselves at one point in time, in some way shape or form, that we are not enough. That we are not normal. That we are wrong.

And this can be anything. Buy a piece of clothing for no reason other than the fact that it brings you joy. Sign up for that niche club you have been eyeballing and maybe have been embarrassed to go out for. Listen to show tunes while you work out instead of the rap music like those around you. Splash around in big puddles on rainy days. Eat waffles for dinner. Outfit repeat. Sing out loud in public. Wear what you want. Do as you please. Live as you like. And unapologetically be you.

And it is simply not true.

Living in the binary reality of right and wrong is not sustainable. We should instead be judging our decisions based on a spectrum of personal fulfillment, with happiness on one end and sorrow on the other. We should always ask ourselves, “does this course of action make me happy?” If the answer is “yes,” then go for it.

Every one of us is gorgeous, special, intelligent, and deserving of all the love in the world. This idea of perfection, of normalcy

We should never strive for an “impossible normal.” We should instead live for ourselves.

“Normal does not exist”

navigating the racial spectrum

by Cecilia Pou

“I’m half Puerto Rican and half Korean” is a sentence I have uttered more times than I can count to a confused acquaintance at a party, to a chatty Uber driver, and to a curious teacher. To answer a question prompted by my “ambiguous” appearance-- with light olive skin and rounded brown eyes, I have been told more than once that I am hard to place.

Being half Puerto Rican and half Korean is a digestible concept. The curious inquisitor will be satisfied, nodding their head with understanding. They will divert the conversation in a new direction, feeling no need to dwell on a question that has seemingly already been answered.

This phrase, while perhaps true in the most The real answer is much more complex and literal sense, does not feel true. not necessarily one to which I have the answer. It is surely not something that would But when faced with the questions: “where fit in the context of a passing interaction. is your family from?” “What race are you?” Or — my least favorite of all — “where are For how could I explain the connection I you really from?” I feel compelled to re- feel to a little island in the Caribbean in a spond in a way that presents myself and brief conversation? my racial identity in a nice, tidy box.

How could I communicate the comfort I feel to the sound of the coquís chirping outside of my window as I drift off to sleep? How can I express the relief I feel exiting the artificially cooled airport and being welcomed by a humid hug of Puerto Rican air? And how can I articulate the distance I feel from Korea? A country which has a language that I cannot remotely understand. A country which celebrates holidays that I don’t even know the name of. A country which has bustling streets, filled with unfamiliar noises and symbols, which overwhelms my senses. A country which, despite my familial ties, remains impenetrable and foreign. Search as I may, I am unsure where this feeling comes from. The answer is most likely the geographic proximity of the United States to Puerto Rico, along with my experience traveling there as a child. Familiarity breeds comfort and with comfort inevitability comes love. But I can’t help feeling like there is something deeper: another explanation that I am less eager to admit. It’s one that lies with the anti-Asian rhetoric I have absorbed growing up in the United States; the one-dimensional Asian characters in films, the inflammatory language spewed across social media during the COVID-19 pandemic, the whispering jokes I heard in a middle school classroom. Absorbed both unconsciously and consciously, I can’t help but feel that there is a darker reason I feel disconnected from Asian culture.

Existing somewhere within this racial spectrum is uncomfortable. I feel constant pressure to simply wear the racial identity I was assigned, to feel confident and comfortable in the neat, tidy answer which I so often dole out. Not only would it be easier for those I interact with, but it would also be a lot easier for me. But fitting into this box feels like lying and I don’t want to do it anymore. I need to find a way to exist on the racial spectrum and to embrace the discomfort that arises from losing a label or an easy answer. To find comfort in the unknowing.

I Documented my Media Consumption for the Day by Tamilore Od u

nsi

esitation

For one of my classes, my professor assigned my classmates and I to spend a whole day creating a log to document our media usage. We were assigned to not only log what online platforms we were using, but the amount of time we spent on each, what we were doing, and what we were feeling. You can imagine my hesitation with this as I knew that my log would consist of several hours of scrolling on Tik Tok and Instagram and not much time spent being productive. I cringed and jokingly warned my teacher about how embarrassing this would be for me.

nticipation

I woke up grudgingly the next morning, and immediately turned off my alarm to go back to sleep. I woke up again several minutes later and browsed through all of the notifications on my socials. Instagram first, Snapchat second, and Tik Tok last . I joke that I don’t eat breakfast but I always remember to consume my daily dose of content before doing anything else in the morning. What a “healthy” routine! I remember that I need to log everything I just did in my Media Consumption Spreadsheet and immediately do so. I think to myself, this is going to be fun, tracking my every minute.

isconnect

The process of logging my media consumption made me much more aware of the specific factors that led to my decisions regarding what media to consume. With everything readily available at the touch of a button, decisions tend to feel automatic and often not much thought goes into how one ends up where they are. I’m sad to see how disconnected I can be with what is happening around me outside of these social platforms. I went on social media any time I was not doing anything related to class, homework, and spending time with friends. I often feel like whenever I am bored I must go on socials, because I’m not used to sitting in any sort of pause or silence. I feel like I must be constantly updated on what is going on within the social world more so than the

real world around me. The F.O.M.O is real! I use Tik Tok more than other social platforms because it incorporates everything that the others do, such as: video, photo, direct messaging, comments, and likes. On Tik Tok the content can be very random and unexpected and this draws me to the app because I know that I’ll be entertained.

nxiety

I noticed my use of Spotify whenever I’m walking from place to place on campus. I use Spotify to fill that empty space similarly with how I utilize Tik Tok and other social platforms. I realized that listening to music when walking amongst a big crowd of people at a large school has helped a lot with my anxiety. The songs I listen to throughout the day tend to be upbeat and vibrant, helping me escape from the anxiety I may be feeling and instilling some confidence in my walk. Something that I drew from this is that I use social platforms and music as sort of a crutch in balancing the time where nothing is really happening. I worry that I haven’t allowed myself to live and embrace some of the uncomfortable moments that could really help me find peace in taking a pause. As someone who struggles with anxiety, I tend to look for anything to distract me.

eﬂection

Maybe I will find true peace in embracing the discomfort and allowing myself to take a pause and not always be logged on. I found it satisfactory to use my devices in a more purposeful and genuine way like when I was talking on the phone with my mom or connecting with friends-- rather than using it as a distraction. I will challenge myself to embrace the discomfort in being much more purposeful as a consumer and will take more pauses throughout the day.

THE NATIONAL IDENTITY By Anouska Khemka

As spring reappears, the fog of seasonal depression lifts and metaphors about love, dreams, and youth begin to once more bleed into the mainstream. In March of last year, however, hopes for a rosy spring were crushed under the unrelenting boot of the pandemic. At this rare and singular moment in time, all humanity was irrevocably linked - but early risings of empathy and tolerance soon gave way to unprecedented rates of violence by virtue of racism and xenophobia. In newspapers and on screens, nationalists were split into two groups: the positives and the negatives. While positive nationalists find value in using their shared national identity to improve the conditions of those outside the group, the negatives use a heady mix of fear and uncertainty to target those who are struggling economically and socially. Why, then, does this ugly variant of nationalism thrive? In the past, under the guise of protecting tradition, culture, and national sovereignty, dictators and demagogues have been swift to identify an often vulnerable (and defenceless) scapegoat with racial and sexual minorities, immigrants, and foreign countries at the forefront of the damnatory list.

Negative nationalists prey on the fact of human nature to dichotomise all things resulting in the dangerous distinction of “us” and “them.” Often, in arguments for preserving the sanctity of nationalism, the union of citizens under an overarching identity is cited. While this is not without merit, we must question the practical dangers. Behind a smokescreen of superficial unity, nationalism is priming the public for militarism, fascism, genocide - and with the advent of Covid-19, a startling and violent wave of racism and xenophobia is on the rise. This idea of finding unity in national identity is, as a consequence, threatened by stirrings of rabid nationalism. When citizens begin to regard their countries as emblems of their own values, they lose their grip on unprejudiced and non-partisan analyses of their culture and country. In 1994, a study was conducted on the potency of national identity, using film of the exalted “Rocky IV”, re-edited by researchers to show American defeat. The study revealed that the American subjects suffered a loss of self-esteem when it appeared that Rocky had lost to a Russian opponent - a foreigner, an outsider. When the researchers began to discredit and vilify the Russian victory, the self-esteem of the subjects recovered. In the real world, this force moves beyond the individual; national identity, entire societies, and countries can be driven by this force into war. In the modern world, the stifling crush of national identity imposes a sense of cultural homogeneity in an attempt to assimilate various aspects of our identity (sexual, religious, political) under the agency of homage to our nations. In physics, diverse wavelengths are perceived as one because there’s no way of physically dividing them. The same can be said for our multifaceted, intersectional personal identities.

Attempts to assimilate these sundry aspects of our characters under the umbrella of allegiance to the nation is to homogenise humankind. Shouldn’t we regard these differences not as a source of weakness that needs to be erased but something to be respected? However, we must concede that assimilation works on a physical level - both with wavelengths of light and as a nation. Even as we celebrate our differences, we need systems of organization and order. While all opinions and perspectives have value and add to the diversity of the social fabric, we need to arrive at a general consensus to move forward, as in cases of elections and responsive policy. While being a citizen of a nation-state allows us to forge connections through the basis of this identity, it also demands our humanity. The need to belong to a group and the responsibility of this membership can sometimes be overshadowed by shame. For in the name of this very membership, people can commit all kinds of heinous crimes. It’s like modern Germans who are in no way ashamed of their German identity but ashamed that the name is soiled by the likes of an authoritarian dictator. Like the mixing of voices into a roar at the prospect of victory, we face the challenge of combing through diverse and discrete identities in a spectrum as broad as national identity. It is, however, a sign of our times; for all its faults, it allows an unprecedented unity at a time where LGBTQ+ rights are being dealt with on a federal level, where feminism is a global movement, and where we demand respect and acceptance for all the various aspects of our identities.

MENTAL

HEALTH

THE SPECTRUM

GENERATIONAL OF WELLNESS

Milking It

written by 38

Lauren Faust

that my participation grade depended on. don’t think I could have been older than I did not find out until much later that it is nine or ten when I realized that my brain incredibly common for girls, and especially did not operate like everyone else’s. I grew those who are academically successful, to up being praised for my above average not be diagnosed with ADHD until much reading skills, something that my parents later in life. took credit for, having read chapter books with me at night. But despite doing well Besides the stigma that surrounds the utin school, there was a certain feeling that ward perception of mental illness, there is I couldn’t place. I remember being young little conversation surrounding the self-perand telling my dad whenever I had a “ner- ception of neurodivergence. I still find it difvous stomach,” something that I didn’t re- ficult to this day to validate my own struggles that come with navigating life -and alize was a symptom of anxiety. especially college- with anxiety and ADHD. I was lucky enough to receive a diagnosis The only thing that has allowed me to be when I started going to therapy during conscious of my own identity and its inmy parents’ divorce when I was entering tersection with mental illness has been middle school. I still feel privileged to have our generation’s normalization of mental been able to access mental health resourc- health struggles. The growing effect of soes throughout my adolescence, as I don’t cial media platforms and “influencers” on think I would have reached my full poten- the culture of our society has benefited us tial had I not been given the tools to live in its normalization of talking about mental health. with my anxiety. Therapy and mental health are surrounded by an enormous stigma, which is largely due to the cultural and generational spectrums on which they are deliberated. My parents, while supportive, lacked the ability to truly understand what it was like to grow up neurodivergent in an educational setting created for those with regular cognitive behavior and functioning. Even further, it is even more invalidating to have your struggles questioned due to your perceived academic success. Like many people I know, my behavior was never questioned since I thrived academically. Upon arriving at college, I quickly found that I could not afford to keep pushing myself academically without any consequences. I was so burnt out that I had trouble finding the motivation to do basic tasks and continuously turned in assignments late. I could not focus on anything — whether it was a conversation I was genuinely interested in with my closest friends or a class discussion

The way that mental illness is perceived also drastically differs between cultures and generations. My friends, who have been raised by parents born in eastern European countries, faced shame and guilt in expressing their struggles with their mental health. It is not something to be spoken about or even believed. This mentality is slowly evolving, but can only continue to do so through open discussion and awareness of the impact of mental health on an individual’s overall wellness. Generational discussion about mental health must continue to develop past the outdated perception that younger generations are exaggerating their experiences. Beyond public and self stigmas lies institutional stigma towards mental illness — something that is deeply ingrained into our culture, but is more apparent in older generations. A lack of funding and dramatically fewer mental health services in comparison to other spheres of health care demon-

strate how much institutional stigma harms our society. The invalidation and lack of resources that younger generations are faced with when they seek help for their mental health are not just insensitive it’s dangerous. The institutional biases that affect the perception of those of different sexualities, races, or genders also affect those who struggle with mental illness. Those who are fighting to rid our communities of the institutions that inhibit the success of minorities are too often part of younger generations and specifically that of college students: Gen Z. Unless we can find a way to motivate those outside of our generation to care about the stigmas surrounding mental health, we will not be able to eliminate the institutional obstacles that stand between our communities and the health of all that inhabit them. When I think about mental health, I look at it as a spectrum. I also consider it to be a part of the spectrum that makes up my identity as a whole — not a small or large part of what makes up me, but a part. To be able to do this is a privilege and one that we will not be able to extend to every member of our community unless we spur institutional change. These efforts must be intercultural and intergenerational and while they start at an interpersonal level, they must extend to the institutionalized barriers that perpetuate these mentalities.

EVEN

INVALIDATING TO HAVE YOUR STRUGGLES DUE

ACADEMIC

QUESTIONED YOUR

PERCEIVED SUCCESS

Fa

:A CULTURAL oxymoron

Written by T’aa’aanii Tate The fall season is famous for its culture built around seasonal activities, fashion, and holidays. The essence of fall has always felt colonial and patriotic. When I think of a classic American fall I think of the fictional town Stars Hollow in the drama TV series Gilmore Girls. Similar to the Stars Hollow town there is a societal nostalgia created around the romantic image of the small New England town, something that has roots to the original thirteen colonies and the founding fathers. As much as the fall season is famous and nostalgic, it is also notorious for embodying another inherently American tradition: culture appropriation and the commemoration of colonization and settler conquest. This is all carried out through Columbus Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Accompanying these October and November holidays is Indigenous Peoples’ Day and Native American Heritage Month. Indigeneous Peoples’ Day was first recognized in South Dakota in 1989 and since has been recognized by Alaska, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Nevada, North Carolina, Oregon, Vermont, and Wisconsin. Native American Heritage Month was first established in the early 1990s. Comparatively, Thanksgiving and Columbus have been celebrated since

“

...notorious for embodying another inherently American tradition:

culture appropriation

and the commemoration of

colonization

and settler conquest.

”

the 1940s. It appears that Native American Heritage Month and Indigenous Peoples Day serve as an edit in an effort to be politically correct. However, how can these holidays exist in the same space?

As a Native person, there is a dual reality present during fall. On October 12th, the same day as Columbus Day, is Indigenous Peoples’ Day. November is Native American Heritage month, but also, there’s Thanksgiving. We go from battling our communities, schools and other institutions to recognize Indigenous Peoples’ Day over Columbus Day to Halloween where we often must confront serial acts of cultural appropriation and racist characterization. The next day is the first day of Native American Heritage Month, which is then ended by Thanksgiving, which commemorates the Pequot massacre. We are given space to celebrate our culture. Yet, the following week, we are confronted with holidays that represent the American agenda to eradicate Indigenous people. These tumultuous months often leave me not knowing what to feel and force me to compartmentalize between celebrating and grieving. In the past, I have often spent October and November trying to educate people on the origins of Thanksgiving, the true history of Christopher Columbus, and why cultures are not costumes, in the hopes that people will finally abandon these traditions. In the midst of it all, I rarely have time to enjoy celebrating my culture, heritage, and community. During these months, it can feel like as soon as we are given time to enjoy our culture, we must quickly armor ourselves to combat the imposing holidays that are monuments to our decline. For the years to come, I want to dedicate my time during this season to learning about my culture detached from trauma and American traditions.

ery. You turn to glance at the red figure; a young woman, a student about your age, dressed head-to-toe in designer prêt-àporter. She’s sporting ﬂashy, perfectly tailored pants and a Prada bag to cap off the decadent look. You grit your teeth, turning back to the now taunting red of the self-checkout warning. For many students who attend the University of Southern California, instances like this are all too common. To the children of our card just got declined. both the new and old money elites of the United States and beyond, such an occurTwenty dollars worth of produce, just rence would seem foreign. After all, USC is enough to tide you over until your next a school tailor-made to prep the offspring direct deposit hits. You frown at the “CARD of CEOs, high-profile lawyers, government INVALID” message marked in a ﬂourish officials, and celebrities alike to follow in of bright red across the self-checkout their parents’ footsteps. What business touchscreen. You’re not ashamed, such would they have scraping and saving to an occurrence isn’t rare enough for you to pay for trivial things such as a weekly grofeel the warmth of shame at the back of cery store run? your neck that others might have in such a predicament. It’s not a system error; you That is the public perception, but far from knew that the balance was low prior to reality for many students. your grocery store run, but held onto the hope that you could pick up these few ne- South Los Angeles is a cultural hotspot in a cessities without issue. Yet, the few cents sprawling city already teeming with diverthat you went over budget have pushed sity and history. The University of Southern you to reluctantly pull out your credit card California is nestled within, close to the ininstead-- the card that you use sparingly. visible border between South Los Angeles The card that you pay the bill for yourself. and the downtown area. Because of USC’s The card that you have relegated to “for proximity to average to lower income comemergencies only.” munities, it is not uncommon to hear USC students refer to the area surrounding the As you reach down to pull the secondary main campus and University Park as dancard out, still mulling over whether or not gerous and dirty. Condescending sneers to just ask an attendant to remove the are extended to L.A. natives by students as item responsible for your overcharge, you they walk by, disrespecting the “common catch another splash of red in your periph- folk” and the community.

The gentrification of South Los Angeles is indispensable in a discussion of financial disparity at USC and within South L.A. as a whole. Students who regard the community outside of the gentrified USC Village and main UPC campus as inherently threatening or filthy because of their financial status then regard their lower income peers in the same manner. These behaviors, learned from a life of privilege and condescension, are easy to identify. Even microaggressions like refusing to make way for others on sidewalks and grocery store aisles or ignoring peers during group assignments show that they see you as “other.” While many of the privileged behaviors that these students practice are consistent with whiteness or their proximity to it, one cannot deny that the wide financial spectrum of South L.A. and USC is a major factor in determining why these behaviors are perpetrated.

USC, or the “University of Spoiled Children” as the institution is often referred to colloquially, is associated closely with privilege. The large percentage of high income students who attend the university and how they interact with the South Los Angeles community, leads many to believe that all USC students are wealthy. This preconception allows for the gap in quality between the lives of lower to middle income students and higher income students to exist and proliferate. It’s not uncommon to hear students talk about flying to family vacation homes for a weekend or when to meet up at the Grove for brunch alongside students who can’t afford to eat outside of the dining halls; even something as ‘simple’ as Uberring to a friend’s house downtown is a luxury to some. The disparity is glaring. By assuming that all USC students come

from wealth, one is actively dismissing and invalidating the experiences of lower and middle income students who are just as deserving of an education. Respect must be shown to both the longtime residents of South L.A. and all students, regardless of their standing on the financial spectrum. Until then, the community will continue to be fractured and students without privilege, shunned.

I first defined myself as bisexual on a hazy, blue night in a foreign country. A confused confession prompted by tequila-soaked, overseas tongues. As swiftly as the word spilled into tepid pool water and my friend’s patient ears, I was met with its bitter aftertaste.

to “find yourself.” To try on and shake off labels and preferences, and in turn, sculpt a perspective. However, the eternity of this plight seems singularly perverted by the endless stream of information, of lives, of friends, strangers, and acquaintances, as they all bleed together.

It felt true, but incomplete. Inherently binary. It was in the very prefix. Through years of clawing at any identity onto which I could project a future, better version of myself, I found each alternative and every microlabel ill-fitting and all together too

Modern life is lived with newfound immediacy and connection, unimpeded by geography. Our generation has grown up in a world of our own creation, with information and media tailored around our own consumption. One where anyone can become

THE SPECTRUM

OF SELF

permanent. Ages of sliding back and forth the Kinsey scale, reduced to one word, branded in checked boxes… affections and desires dwindled down to a few letters.

rich and famous from a single post. Long gone is the myth of brilliance being discovered. Influence can be self-made. The new American Dream, naturally, rooted in profit.

My twenty-first century adolescence, cocooned in binaries and liked photos, made divvying myself up for bite-sized consumption all but inevitable. The great, nauseating promise of youth lives in the potential

To turn a person into a product requires meticulous branding. A complex inner life pared down to marketable labels. This, too, is not entirely new. White picket fences have always shielded strict societal binaries (man, woman; gay, straight; Republican, Democrat; the American Dream, the other).

Their refusal, in subsets and extensions, is not new either. Generations have pushed and molded the binaries of their oppressors to sculpt oppositional space. Queer activists have formed rich realities accross the line of sexuality and gender; leftists have shoved mightly against the performative promises of a two-party system that ends at neoliberalism.

has yielded an onslaught of hyper-specific identities that exist more in their positioning to one another than for their own, true substance. Can one be pretty if another is prettier? Smart if another is smarter? Have enough if another has more? By what measure?

The desperate, stumbling need of the young to find themselves among these These strifes and communities are aged, structures, to find one’s place in the world, but the immediacy of their consumption is is externalized as never before. There are innot. No longer does any one belief or iden- exhaustible options and infinite eyes…with tity live only amongst radical enclaves or each precarious sample and misstep gleedusty libraries. What once could be cher- fully immortalized.

BY GRACE WAICHLER

FHOOD

ished between the few or lost in a fit of Certainly, there is comfort in an identity. In flames has adopted a sense of mass acces- a sense of self and perspective. I felt clossibility and permanence. er to whom I strived to be at that closed, kitschy swim-up bar. A more honest, open Yet, its increasing availability is parceled version of myself. A souvenir to pack up and out in repetitive morsels to those who have take with me, to tailor at will. To tuck away already established their taste for them. the needles and thread would be to live a The cost of accessibility is a world of one’s half life. Finding space within a binary canown design, feeding back overly-simplified, not eradicate it, but it is worth surviving it pre-established preferences and views. All all the same. It is worth carving out one’s for sale. What once promised an egalitar- own piece of the world, even as it crumbles ian escape from archaic binaries has only and comes back together. Particularly as it sought to extend them for profit. crumbles and comes back together. The unbridled promise of connection has given way to a new sort of individualism. It

d i ng n i F

B a A l

ty Crisis Bro i t n ug e

ht Ab o

A by Jolt Back I n t

g ilizin

Civ

Leyla Winston

Roaming the halls of my apart-

ment complex last year never failed to disappoint. Unable to spot a soul, I found myself in a ghost town. It was not as though the silence of the halls offered a pleasant contrast to chatter in other areas of my life. Rather, there was no chatter. My social calendar was bleak to say the least and rather than FaceTiming old friends, I fruitlessly spent time on Instagram, desperately trying to make new ones. Now, less than a year later, I find myself running into people at the most unexpected times and unable to escape an incessant roar of chatter. Whether I am in the USC Village, the library, my apartment complex, or out at night, chatter surrounds me. In fact, there is always a roar in my ears. I find myself balancing two dinner plans rather than lamenting over none. Rather than staring at a loading Zoom page in the silence of my apartment, I chit-chat with friends about the weekend’s events. In less than nine months, I went from barely knowing a soul to maintaining somewhat of a social agenda.

When I compare my freshman year to the present day, I feel as though I live in a different universe. While odd, my experience is not unique. In the incessant chatter, I discovered that so many others feel they have been transplanted into a new life. As the world opens up following the pandemic, many of us feel thrown into situations whereby the immediate reaction is to compensate. To compensate for lost plans, lost firsts, and lost time. We find ourselves at a crossroads. On one hand, a global pandemic places rigid boundaries on the extent to which one can socialize. On the other, the options feel endless; in quarantine, little could be done. But now, as students and faculty repopulate campus, our only option is to hold on tight as life regains speed. We are at a point where people are settling into a routine and workloads are picking up. With these welcome changes, I can

In betw

losing

new and ol n e dr e w t e b

life

o h o c l s a n h dr g i h e

w t e e en b

ti o n s h ela i

ening

c nd

“We are in an in between

op n ee

In the ever changing nature of this in between let us embrace that our identities are also ever changing”

feel the pre-pandemic burnout ourselves. However, as evsetting in. er-changing beings, we cannot accurately situate ourselves The quick return to “normalcy” on extreme spectrums. Rather is a call to sit down and reevalu-than inquiring which adjective ate the age-old question: “whobest fits our behaviors or newam I?” Now that my identity isly reclaimed personality, we no longer restricted by circum-should spend time pondering stance, where do I stand? Nowwhat we would like to achieve. that I have choices, who do IFrom this point on, we should want to be? As we grapple withseek to optimize our choices to these questions, we tend to fallattain our goals, all while thinkinto very strict binaries. We pushing about the world around ourselves to an extreme; now,us and embracing our evfeeling tired on a Thursday orer-changing identities. Let’s retaking a minute between class-place our reliance on selflimites seems antisocial, while justing adjectives with productive a few months ago, we consid-goal-setting. Chasing the latter ered ourselves a social butterflyis a pointless exercise given the when we spoke up in a break-complexities that lie in the nuout room. We see our exhaus-anced identities that each one tion as laziness. When I catchof us humans has. up on sleep, I feel like I am falling behind. As I desperately tryWe are in an in-between. In beto reclaim a lost year of socialtween opening and closing. In interaction, my brain ridiculedbetween new and old relationme for being a lazy, antisocialships. In between high-school straggler — the antithesis ofand real life. In the ever-changwhat anyone trying to compen-ing nature of this in between, sate for a lost year of college islet us embrace that our identishooting for. ties are also ever-changing. As we push ourselves to our social limits, we struggle to navigate our identities and redefine

THE BLUEPRINTS TO A HEALTHY SELF-DEFINITION by Joshua Ryu

ome time ago, a friend of mine was struggling with working on a task. She told me that she felt anxious and said: “it’s kind of like having all the blueprints and tools but no one there to build the building.” I was stunned.

thought was harmless enough in its own right. I mean, it’s a stale phrase you hear all the time. A superhero is losing the greatest battle of his life? “You can do it!” Your favorite sports team is down by several points? “You can do it!” You get the idea.

Really all I had told her was something along the lines of “you can do it” which I

In all honesty, “you can do it” is a phrase that’s so overused, we sort of forget its ac-

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gest dreams, live up to our greatest expectations, and become the best that we can be while simultaneously minimizing error as much as possible. We are taught to believe that being incapable of staying at our maximums all the time is a failure in In my own thoughts I’ve come to realize its own right. As such, in this world of exagthat we, as a society, love to define things geration, it seems as if mediocrity is by far by their maximums or minimums. From the greatest sin of all. an evolutionary perspective, it’s an advantage for humans to be able to judge the I think my friend must have felt the same extremes of an environment rather than way. For her, being told “you can do it” the averages since it lets them optimize probably only served to intensify the disthe world around them. It’s the reason why sonance she felt as someone who, like any there’s even a science dedicated to the other human being, could not always stay study of maximums and minimums: cal- at her maximum. culus. So how do we get around this? Within our societal expectations, this is no less true. We are told to achieve our big-

FIN

tual meaning. In the simplest sense, it’s an implication that “you” (whoever this might refer to) has the capability to complete a certain task. Now let me tell you why that’s not reassuring at all.

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For starters, we need to reconsider the spectrum of self-definition. We should not be defined by our best. I repeat. We should not be defined by our best. Just because we have the capability to perform a task to a certain degree does not mean that we should be expected to perform to the same degree at every moment. As humans, we are inherently imperfect and thus we shouldn’t hold ourselves to a standard of the maximum. At the same time, we should also not be defined by our worst. We fall, we fail, we make mistakes, but we also get up. It’s all a part of being alive. Binding our own self-image to our lowest extremes is a disservice to not only ourselves, but also to the quintissential human experience of learning from failure. Instead, we need to recognize that sometimes, our lives lie at a middle ground. We’re always learning and growing and as such, the way we think about ourselves should reflect this. So give yourself a break. What we can do right now, in the current moment, might not always align with our maximums or minimums. At times, life gets in the way or we just aren’t in the right headspace and that’s okay! These aren’t excuses, but rather a living representation of the dynamic nature of who we are. So pick up your tools and take another look at that blueprint. It’s time to rebuild the way we think about ourselves.

MEETING YOURSELF FOR THE

FIRST TIME Written by Cristina Barco

“I hate the sound of my voice on video.” I’ve said it, you’ve said it. The phrase has been familiarized in our relatability repertoires — sort of like hating Mondays, having a coffee obsession, or all the other universally accepted normalities we’ve long stopped questioning but consistently repeat for social neutrality. Hating it isn’t strange. Hating anything is normal as long as it withholds the appearance of having self-confidence from those who don’t. But isn’t it strange that we mention our own voices as if we’ve never heard them before? The other day, while coercing us to rewatch recordings of our presentations in front of the whole class, my professor said, “I know you probably hate the sound of your voice, but it’s helpful to note the things you might not have known you were doing.” I was struck by how casually she generalized us as an insecure and anx ious-ridden group of students, but then noted the dull sensation of hatred I felt for

myself after the exercise. Two things, in particular, struck me: 1. why was I, the person I am, know, and control, a complete stranger to behold? 2. How could I hate a stranger? In retrospect, the art of recording is no novelty brought forth by the digital era, media age or whatever apocalyptic term we refer to this time as. Photo, self portrait, cave drawings, or whatever form of immortalizing existence, has piqued humanity’s interest for as long as we’ve been able to drool at our own reflections on shiny rocks. But in a predominantly digitized world, reflections of ourselves trail us perhaps even against our will. As we interact on Zoom with other video boxes, our own little video boxes trail our every action, recorded and infinitely re-watchable. Others may not have experienced this same fixation on their filtered video self, but I did not share this restraint. Even within this restraint there remains an untapped power within its limitless availability, a disruption in the way we perceive reality.

As I watched myself, I recalled my heart racing as I recited the haphazardly memorized lines of my amateur presentation. Insecurity and fear pulsed through my veins and consumed my consciousness, tricking me into seeing that moment as a determinant of my worth forever. After watching as many times as my fixation entailed, my eyeline expanded from what I felt in that moment to what I was. The crippling emotions that once melted and morphed all thought matter into themselves, lost strength when coupled with perspective and left space for something else. As if dealing with another friend, or anyone free of my stringent expectations of linear growth, I considered the notion of having empathy. I expected perfection-- in my performance, my thoughts, my reactions, and every move I made the moment I clicked play. Yet so far, we’ve only been “perfected” by evolution. Unsystematic collisions and combinations of unfortunate circumstances have led us to what we believe to be the best versions of ourselves. The equation, then, must be: the more failure, the closer to perfection. Instead

of resenting the overwhelming fear and anxiety pulsing through my veins, I finally felt in awe to be an element within the chaos. To be alive enough to feel collisions, a strain, a beginning, and an end-- movement-- that was growth. Although technology has triggered a rise of dissociation and disconnection within our culture, this separation from ourselves may be precisely what we need to meet ourselves for the first time.

How to Live a Quiet Life in a Noisy World By Andriana Thomopoulou If I were to describe our generation with one word, I would use “overconnected.” Although this might sound grim, it is our reality or perhaps, the reality of the virtual world we have created. Downloading TikTok was good. The app taught me about other people and our generation at large. The quick snippets on my F.Y.P. taught me about spirituality, helped me manifest my dreams and even instructed me on how to hide a rose quartz in my crush’s back pocket (which I pulled off successfully). TikTok is the epitome of our generation and I love it. But, right now, I want to focus on energy (don’t worry though, I won’t be elaborating on how to light up your sage leaves without the potent smell 60

of last night’s shenanigans sneaking through). Over the past year, I’ve learned that we are all energy and that only through keeping “positive vibes” and “protecting our energy” can we attract what we want. My energy is far from untouched. Rather, my day’s energy is a mix of quite literally every piece of information I consumed that day. Some days, the good outweighs the bad, but other times I end my day tearfully contemplating my life’s hopes and dreams. I like to mix it up and keep it sexy. No matter the end, however, I always start my days the same way: I wake up and I make my way to my trusted little apps. I allow User209371 to suck me in as he explains

all the “cheugy” (uncool) things he saw that day. Next up is Laney, who explains what she eats in a day. As I scroll, I notice the comments are kinda mean. Then there’s Vicky, and she tells me to take on the day as a “bad bitch,” whatever that means. On my last wakeup scroll was a video telling me it was “meant to land on my F.Y.P.” explaining how to get a guy to like me. During my morning scrolls, I realize I don’t have much choice over what I see. That’s the unfortunate thing about our digital world; although the internet allows us to share our thoughts and problems, it does not allow us to filter the content we consume. The next video is of this girl. There’s a Meghan Thee Stallion song playing in the background and some pictures showing a weight loss transformation. “I bet my ex misses me now.” I make an annoyed face and don’t scroll again. Although

I’ve turned off my phone, I’m still irritated. I try to distance myself from this energy but I can’t. The energy in each of these videos is a part of me for now. As the sun sets in my window, I tune into a video of a girl crying because she can’t eat followed by another of a girl who eats too much. I feel sad for both of them, but I acknowledge the power in their stories. I notice a bit of anger as well as I think about how

““I repeat this cycle again and again, flling myself to the brim each day with information from random users on the internet““

these videos wilI soon trigger someone if they have not already. I stop for a moment, thinking about these girls until I scroll myself to sleep. I repeat this cycle again and again, filling myself to the brim each day with information from random users on the internet. We thrive on transparency and we like to share. We normalize sharing our thoughts-- to an extreme. We are the first generation to navigate digital editing, the first to hear influencers talk about the pressure of social media, and the first to see everyone’s struggles out on display. We deserve a round of applause. The problem though is not with you, me, or anyone who posts; after all, the whole point of TikTok is to help people share their stories. The problem is that we have

no control over what we see, and therefore we never know if our next flick will trigger us. It is all-too-easy to become overly-engaged in our virtual world. We become so enraptured in other peoples’ lives that we forget to think about what we want to do. We fill ourselves up with other peoples’ emotions and live with them through their struggles. I still wonder how we will deal with our own struggles, without taking a step back to focus on ourselves.

CRITIZING DOUBLE STANDARDS BECAUSE IT CREATES A DIVIDE by Sydney Fiorentino

“When a boy attracts a bunch of girls, he is popular, but when a girl attracts a bunch of guys, she is a flirt.” “When a guy speaks up, he is being a leader, but when a girl speaks up about an issue, she is being a bitch.” “If a woman gets sexually assaulted, people will listen to her, but if a man gets sexually assaulted no one listens.” A double standard is on a “spectrum,” meaning that there are two sides to contradictions. A double standard is where a group or person judges or holds a set of beliefs or principles on another person or group over another. This can be related to anything, including gender, culture or societal standards. There are many double standards amongst men and women which cause there to be a spectrum. To start, workplace etiquette or how women are in the workforce is a common double standard. For instance, if a woman leads a group meeting and tells the people who she is presenting to what to do, she is sometimes labelled or perceived as “bossy.” However, if a man does this, it is normal and what a leader should do. Women can be leaders and assertive, but they should not be perceived as bossy or controlling. This spectrum basically compares those who identify as female and male. It sets okay actions and etiquette for males but creates a double standard saying women cannot act this way as well. Another double standard gender wise is when it comes to sexual activity. There have been studies where it is shown that

men who are involved in more heterosexual sexual activity are congratulated by their peers, whereas girls who have many sexual partners are stigmatized and are sometimes looked down upon from others. The study is called “The Sexual Double Standard and Adolescent Peer Acceptance,” and is published in Social Psychology Quarterly by Derek A. Kreager, and Jeremy Staff. In general, when a male sleeps around with multiple women, their friends support them, but if a woman acknowledges she sleeps with multiple men, she is labelled as a “slut” or “whore” by her fellow peers. This again lies on the spectrum where men and women are on opposite sides. So, when it comes to the topic of sex, men are on one end where it is okay to talk about all their sexual partners, whereas, women are on the other end as they get judged for doing or talking about it. Societal standards create this criticism. It should be equal for both men and women to talk about their sexual lives. It is acceptable for a man to be shirtless in public, but a woman cannot do that. When it is a hot day out and you want to take a walk, you will see men walking around shirtless, but a woman cannot take off her shirt and walk around in a bathing suit top or a sports bra without strangers giving her weird looks or a judgmental face. Again, a spectrum is created as men are on one end where society accepts that men can be shirtless and women are on the other where it is not acceptable. A woman can get into a fraternity party easily, but a man cannot get in or must pay extra to get in. Especially with college life, it is harder for men to get into parties than women, whether that be because of the “ratio” or for other reasons. Also, for some

but if she is showing too much skin, she is “asking for it.” A woman should be able to wear whatever she wants without criticism and that is something that society needs to accept as clothing is a way to express That women are able to show feelings in yourself. public but men cannot is another societal double standard. Many guys are taught at There are always going to be double stana young age that to show feelings or emo- dards where it is okay for one party to do tions is being weak and vulnerable; howev- something, but the other one to not and er, that toxic masculinity is not always true. this is incredibly problematic. It creates Meanwhile, for women, if a woman shows this “spectrum” where there are two sides emotions in public or cries, she will get to different topics, when in reality, everysupport and comfort from those around one should be looked at equally and fairher asking if she is okay. There should not ly. However, society in general is flawed be this difference of how the opposite gen- and double standards contribute to this. der is perceived. Just because a man opens As time has progressed, viewpoints are up, it does not make him weak. It shows he changing and developing, but still not has feelings and that is something societal everyone agrees. There are still prejudiced people that agree with double standards. standards does not recognize. It’s important to recognize when a double Another case is body image. For instance, standard is in place and when to break men who have a dad body will sometimes that two sided spectrum. criticize women who are heavier. They will often say “you can’t wear that” or “don’t eat that,” implying that they should not look like that. This contradiction from men like that is completely not okay. Some more traditional views about body image are still set into people’s mind; however, regardless of your body image or size, you can wear or do whatever you want. Everyone is beautiful and just because a double standard that separates what you should and should not do is embedded into some people’s minds, you do not have to listen to it. parties, men have to pay more than women do to get in. This creates another spectrum where there are two sides based off your gender.

Double standards are also not strictly between just males and females, but it can also be between genders. For instance, clothing standards for women are ridiculous. If a woman covers up too much, she is looked at as a “prude” or “conservative,”

WANT ME THE PARADOX OF FEMALE SEXUALITY

Written by

Lily Muscarella 68

I recently sat down and read Tracy-Clark Flory’s memoir Want Me, which documents Clark-Flory’s life work as a sex writer, her sexual experiences as a heterosexual woman living in the 21st century, and her mother’s battle with cancer. In the end, the novel proved not to be the ode to women’s sexual freedom which I thought it would be but instead an introspective analysis on the paradoxical nature of female sexuality in the 21st century. She thoughtfully deconstructed the dichotomy which exists within desire: wishing to feel desired and wanted while maintaining power and bodily autonomy. And if I gathered one lesson from this novel it was that, sadly, desire and power are rarely present within the female sexual experience in heterosexual relationships. As women, we are conditioned to be docile, submissive, and amenable. We are taught that our attractiveness and the way that men respond to it is not only of utmost importance, but our responsibility. This is conditioned at early ages with dress codes in schools where young girls’ bodies are policed for the benefit of their male teachers and male peers, making a woman’s body and men’s perceptions and reactions, our responsibility. This is the same rhetoric which upholds rape culture, protects rapists, and even extends into blaming sexual assault victims.

enforcing existing gender norms. In this, bodily autonomy and power is stripped from women and desire is replaced with shame. Which leads me, as did Clark-Flory, to question how are we supposed to teach safe sex, consent, healthy relationships and even attack the issue of gender inequality if women are constantly being taught their wants and needs, even outside of sexual experience, are not only less than but shameful?

... bodily autonomy and power is stripped from women, and de sire is replaced with shame.

Clark-Flory, while 17 years my senior, beautifully, and at times devastatingly, summarized the fine line which we walk as sexually active women in the 21st century. This fine line consists of two extremes, the first of which is being a prude; a term which was formerly reserved for women who abstained from sex as a whole, but now is more often used to describe sexually selective women or is reserved as an insult for a Desire is shaped as something a man has woman who turns down a man. The other for a woman but fails to be mentioned in extreme of this spectrum is slut, a term any discussions of female attraction and sex- and all women are most likely familiar with uality. In this, women are taught to be and have been at the receiving end of. ashamed of desire with this shame extending beyond sexuality and into everyday life. As Clark-Flory writes, we grew up sandAs women, we grow up in a world where wiched between the rhetoric of “girl powour passion in relationships, our career, or er” and “girls gone wild,” the early aughts interests is interpreted as aggressive or “too poised as a time of great exploration of femuch” while male passion is “healthy” and male sexuality and promiscuity despite the reality that this “female sexual empower“masculine,” ment”

was less about the women and more about the benefit men receive from a culture which stokes hypersexuality in women at a young age. We see this in who our early 2000s society deemed as sex symbols, such as Britney Spears and Megan Fox, who today, are quite vocal about the largely negative effects which resulted from this hypersexualition when they were only teenagers. This hypersexualization of women is poised in the light of and is complemented by sex positive feminsim which lauds casual sex, hookup culture, and porn (as is deeply discussed in Clark-Flory’s novel) as empowering and vital to this new wave of feminism. As discussed in philosopher Amia Srinivasan’s new book “The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century,” young women are abandoning sex positive feminism in favor of more standard feminist theory. Sex positive feminism posits porn and hookup culture as empowering and vital to attacking existing notions of gender and power. However, many young women have come to see porn and hook-up culture as not only disempowering but dehumanizing, enforcing existing gender stereotypes. These institutions not only solidify men in the power positions they already inhibit, but also create some very harmful connotations between sex and violence. Hook-up culture and the mysogynstic foundation which upholds it, thrives among young adults-- especially in college. I have seen this in my peers and my own experiences. You are expected to have sex, yet do so with no emotional attachment, mimicing that of the stereotype of toxic, emotionless masculinity. This is harmful to both men and women in that it places stereotypical gender constructs on both genders and completely excludes those who identify outside the binary of male or female.

While casual sex and hookup culture can be empowering, it is too often still framed in the light of pleasing men and continuing to deny inherent female wants and desires. We feel that by having casual sex we, as women, are living “as men always have,” and yet we are still stuck walking the fine line of not being a prude but not having too much sex to be considered a slut. These are conversations I have overheard and even had with my male friends, the madonna-whore complex running as rampant as ever. This leaves women, as disempowered as we are, still conducting ourselves sexually and modifying our desires to fit into the wants and needs of men. In reading Want Me and reevaluating the sexual experiences of myself and my friends, I have come to the conclusion that internalized misogyny lies at the root problem of sex positive feminism. Hookup culture and casual sex can be empowering when it addresses the wants of needs of female sexuality, yet more often than not, we see hookup culture and assumptions of casual sex emulating those of heteronormative experiences within porn, which largely posit violence, dominance, masculinity, and female docility as important to “good sex.” Women, myself included, even find ourselves unknowingly tapping into internalized misogyny when discussing sex or evaluting the relationships of our friends and peers. This has largely forced me to contend with my own internalized misogyny. Leading me to ponder how my friends and I conduct ourselves sexually (considering how internalized misogyny skews expectations of sex)? And lastly, what are the benefits of a hookup culture which lauds male desire over female desire enforcing existing misogynistic sexual norms under a different title?

. . . THE MADONNA WHORE COMPLEX RUNNING AS RAMPANT AS EVER.

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A F T E RWO R D Throughout this Zine, you have heard many unique voices, all with a differing story, but all united by a shared experience: struggling to navigate a world defined by binaries, as a multifaceted individual. In reading, I hope you felt comforted by the pieces which you could relate to. I hope those pieces helped you understand that your experience is not entirely solitary. I also hope you stumbled on pieces which you could not relate to at all. Pieces which made you pause. Pieces which opened the door to a completely unique experience, one which had never crossed your mind. Pieces which made you question a decision you made, or an opinion you hold.

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For me, that is the purpose of GEN-ZiNE: to exist in between comfort and discomfort. To offer you a hand to hold in times of struggle and to serve as a push in times where growth is necessary. Where do we go from here? I hesitate to end this Zine with a clear takeaway. Given the breadth and range of the pieces in this Zine, I don’t think that would even be possible. Furthermore, I do believe that each reader will have their own unique takeaway, depending on what pieces they resonated with and who they are. But I will say this, whatever takeaway you have, whatever piece struck a cord with you, explore it more. Explore that feeling of discomfort, curiosity or excitement. It likely means that there is something there for you to discover. - Cecilia

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