The Georgia Straight - Tribute to Taran - March 31, 2022 by The Georgia Straight

FREE | MARCH 31 – APRIL 7 / 2022

Volume 56 | Number 2824

SHARED OWNERSHIP Housing’s cheaper alternative

OUT OF HIDING

Alan Twigg creates Holocaust collage

TRIBUTE TO TARAN The Firehall Arts Centre and Savage Society will present White Noise to honour Indigenous playwright and actor Taran Kootenhayoo, whose tragic death left the community reeling MISCHA MAISKY • GARDENING • BOCA DEL LUPO • CHEF BRUNO

HEALTH

CONTENTS

End of B.C. mask mandates raises human rights concern

By Charlie Smith Cover photo by Melanie Orr

By Carlito Pablo

ARTS

Mischa Maisky takes time off from performing benefits for Ukrainian refugees to play what he calls a “perfect” cello concerto with the VSO. By Steve Newton

Human Rights Commissioner Kasari Govender says mask mandates protect the marginalized.

to protect one another from transmission of the virus”. Govender also stated that some are more vulnerable than others to the SARS-CoV-2 virus—and “public health policy must consider these disproportionate impacts”. “In the case of the pandemic, marginalized groups include immuno-compromised people, older people, Indigenous and racialized peoples, people with disabilities, and low-income communities,” Govender wrote. And without an assurance that those they encounter will be masked in public spaces, Govender contended that “many seniors and people with disabilities will feel they must isolate themselves from society or risk their health”. The letter was copied to Health Minister Adrian Dix and deputy provincial health officers Dr. Brian Emerson and Dr. Daniele Benh Smith. Under Section 47.15 of the Human Rights Code, Govender has authority to launch a public inquiry into a matter that would promote or protect human rights. She chose not to do this now. g

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HOUSING

With rising home prices, more people might turn to co-ownership, but lawyer Ron Usher warns buyers to get everything in writing.

ARE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE SUFFERING WITH OPIOD USE DISORDER?

COVER

Playwright and actor Taran Kootenhayoo passed away far too soon, but his play, White Noise, will live on at the Firehall Arts Centre as a tribute to his talent.

by Charlie Smith

.C. Human Rights Commissioner Kasari Govender’s March 16 letter to Dr. Bonnie Henry opens with a positive salutation. “Thank you as always for your thoughtful leadership throughout the pandemic,” Govender wrote. In the third paragraph, however, Govender expresses concern that “the hasty end to the provincial mask mandate will have profoundly unequal effects across society”. “While many of us have the good fortune to simply move on with life, thousands of British Columbians will be left behind because of their age, disability, or other protected characteristic under B.C.’s Human Rights Code.” Govender also wrote: “Given the benefits of the mask mandate for thousands of marginalized people and the minimal impact on those being asked to wear one, the balance at this time favours continuing the mask mandate.” To reinforce that point, Govender declared that people disliking wearing masks “is not a compelling argument when weighed against the rights of others to life, security of the person, and equal participation in social and economic life”. The human rights commissioner did not explicitly tell Henry that the dropping of mask mandates is illegal under human rights law. Nor did she use the legal phrase “adverse-effects discrimination”. Govender also did not raise the issues of COVID-19 being a vascular disease or the effects of Long COVID on children in the letter. The letter is not binding on Henry, who is the provincial health officer. In her letter, the human rights commissioner pointed out that, as Henry has noted, “mask wearing is a simple and effective means for members of our society

March 31 – April 7 / 2022

MARCH 31 – APRIL 7 / 2022

e Start Here 10 ARTS 14 BOOKS 18 CLASSIFIED ADS 15 CONFESSIONS 9 FOOD 2 HEALTH 6 I SAW YOU 15 MOVIES 17 MUSIC 4 REAL ESTATE 17 SAVAGE LOVE 8 WINE e Listings 12 ARTS

Vancouver’s News and Entertainment Weekly Volume 56 | Number 2824 #300 - 1375 West 6th Avenue, Vancouver, B.C. V6H 0B1 T: 604.730.7000 E: gs.info@straight.com straight.com DISPLAY ADVERTISING: T: 604.730.7020 E: sales@straight.com

CLASSIFIEDS: T: 604.730.7000 E: classads@straight.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: 604.730.7000 DISTRIBUTION: 604.730.7032

EDITOR Charlie Smith GENERAL MANAGER Sandra Oswald SECTION EDITORS Mike Usinger (ESports/Liquor/Music) Steve Newton SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy STAFF WRITERS Carlito Pablo (Real Estate) SOLUTIONS ARCHITECT Jeff Li ART DEPARTMENT MANAGER Janet McDonald

e Online TOP 5

Here’s what people are reading this week on Straight.com.

1 2 3 4 5

Boarded-up Chilliwack rancher likened to winning real-estate lottery. Scotiabank Economics predicts falling purchasing power due to inflation. Second-degree murder charge laid in killing of Tatlow Park caretaker. Will Smith apologizes to Chris Rock for Oscars broadcast bitchslap. Doctor’s Twitter feed shows why some wellness folks are attracted to the far right. @GeorgiaStraight

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Miguel Hernandez PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR Mike Correia ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Glenn Cohen, Luci Richards, Catherine Tickle, Robyn Marsh, David Pearlman (On-Leave) MANAGER, BRANDED CONTENT AND MARKETING LEAD Rachel Moore SALES & MARKETING ASSISTANT/BRANDED CONTENT WRITER Rayssa Cordeiro CREDIT MANAGER Shannon Li ACCOUNTING SUPERVISOR Tamara Robinson

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

REAL ESTATE

Surrey animal sanctuary a victim of land values

by Carlito Pablo

nonprofit that offers a healing place for humans and animals is at risk of losing its home, again. This comes as Kindred Community Farm Sanctuary’s lease at its temporary location in Surrey runs out by the end of summer. Moreover, the 1144 184 Street ranch has been put up for sale. The landowner is asking $7.5 million for the property. This will be the second time in less than a year that Kindred may have to move. In September 2021, the nonprofit formerly known as the Semiahmoo Animal League departed its old Surrey spot at 1965 176 Street. Kindred had to leave its previous home as it could not meet demands for higher rent and to pay the owner’s property tax. The group, founded by Keryn Denroche, provides a “forever home” for unwanted animals. The nonprofit uses its rescue animals to deliver therapy programs for children, teens, and adults who have witnessed violence or experienced trauma. Its therapy animals include horses, cows, sheep, turkeys, chickens, ducks, rabbits, cats, guinea pigs, and others. Kindred has been raising funds to buy

Kindred Community Farm Sanctuary is looking for a permanent home for its menagerie of rescue horses, dogs, rabbits, cats, and other animals that it uses to deliver therapy programs.

what it calls online a “fur-ever home” of about four hectares (10 acres). “Something more permanent is what the goal is, and owning property is the ultimate goal,” board president Karen Conyers told the Straight in a phone interview. Conyers and her husband, Winston, are agents with Sotheby’s International Realty. She has been on the Kindred board since 2012 and has been president of the organization since 2015.

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Conyers learned about Kindred when then–White Rock mayor Catherine Ferguson introduced her to Denroche in 2009. The realtor has a soft spot for animals, and she has been involved with the nonprofit ever since. “I have always been a firm believer that animals enhance our lives,” Conyers said. She said that belief has to do with the way animals relate to people. “They love unconditionally, and you can trust them because they don’t go blabbing your secrets,” she said. Conyers also explained the Kindred approach of using animal-assisted therapies. “Children, adults—everybody in between, people in general, it doesn’t matter the age—often respond well to an animal much more so than a person because they’ve been hurt by people,” she said. “They’ve learned not to trust people at all. “So in order to rebuild their sense of well-being, their sense of self-esteem, their sense of worth, animals come a long way to establish that initial contact, and they start to break through the barriers,” Conyers continued. “And once you start to break through the barriers, then it’s easier for people who have good intentions to help those who need it and get them on a different path.” Kindred started working with children,

especially kids on the run with their mothers from abusive husbands and fathers. The group later expanded its scope to include teens and adults. “Even the volunteers, they say they get way more out of it more than it gives,” Conyers said about the experience that Kindred brings. The nonprofit stayed at its former 176 Street location for six and a half years. Conyers said that the property was acquired by its owner in 2011 for $1.8 million. The value of the property has increased to more than $12 million in 10 years. Kindred was asked to pay a higher rent as well as shoulder the property taxes of about $48,000 a year, according to Conyers. When the group indicated that it was unable to come up with more money, it was told to leave. “We’re a nonprofit, but they didn’t care,” Conyers said. Kindred had to look for a temporary home, and it found its current location on 184 Street. Conyers said the owner had told the organization that he had no intention of selling the property for at least several years as it was going to be an investment for his kids. But she noted that all that changed in January 2022 when the property was listed for $8.3 million. A new listing on March 10 reduced the price to $7.5 million. Kindred is leasing about four hectares of the more than 17-hectare property. The organization will have its annual general meeting in June this year, and Conyers will be retiring as president during that time. Conyers said she hopes that by that time, Kindred will have raised enough funds to get a mortgage for a property that will serve as its permanent home. It wants to build a community farm, where it can expand its programs and bring in more animals. Kindred needs $1 million, an amount that is less than the typical price of a detached home in Metro Vancouver. g

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

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HOUSING

Interested in buying half a condo? Get a lawyer

by Carlito Pablo

woman and her son own a Vancouver condo downtown. It’s only the mother who lives in the apartment, but she now has other plans. “She just wants to go back to Hong Kong,” the woman’s realtor, Cass Lao, told the Straight in a phone interview. On March 7, Lao listed the woman’s share in the two-bedroom and two-bath condo on the market. Her client is asking $280,000 for what Lao described as half of the property. This piece of Vancouver real estate at 1608–63 Keefer Place is part of Europa, the high-rise and townhouse complex that represents the residential component of the International Village mall. Lao’s listing is straightforward. It states that the “seller sells her share which is 50% of the interest”. The listing urges potential buyers to “please ask for independent legal advice for the purchase”. On the phone, Lao said that a buyer would need to enter into “some sort of agreement” with the woman’s son. It’s what lawyer Ron Usher calls a coownership agreement. Usher is the general counsel of the Society of Notaries Public

On the 16th floor of the Europa complex is a twobedroom condo with one bedroom for sale.

of B.C. He explained that a co-ownership agreement lays down the obligations of all parties in the agreement. “You really got to get clear on things,” Usher told the Straight in a phone interview. He pointed out that these responsibilities include, among other things, share in the mortgage, maintenance of the property,

S tudio SELLS FOR HALF-MILLION

d IT ISN’T BIG, so there’s “no wasted space” at this West End condo in Vancouver. The listing stated that the 405-squarefoot studio is actually “spacious”. “Stylish living area features cozy gas fireplace and Juliette [sic] balcony from which you’ll be able to soak in the vibrant downtown views,” the listing said about 1205-1003 Burnaby Street. (A Juliet balcony is a very narrow strip designed to give the appearance of a full balcony.) The property forms part of the Milano, an 18-storey strata development by the Cressey Development Group. It was listed on February 22 by Engel & Völkers Vancouver as a “perfect first

home or investment”. The asking price was $498,000, and the studio unit sold this month for $514,000. That’s equivalent to $1,269 per square foot. The 405-square-foot piece of Vancouver real estate has a 2022 assessment of $470,000 For perspective about sizes, a City of Vancouver staff report on a rental development in East Vancouver referred to the units as “relatively small”. The units referenced included two-bedroom rentals with area measurements ranging from 532 square feet to 733 square feet. g

by Carlito Pablo

and an understanding about what happens when one or all of the parties want to end the agreement. These things are “not just good ideas but legal obligations”. “It just becomes much more important to get it in writing,” Usher said. Usher noted that one advantage of entering into a co-ownership agreement is that it provides a way to get into the real estate market. Pooling resources make it more affordable for different households to own a home. Usher said that the provincial government of Ontario has prepared a good guide about co-ownership agreements. In addition to affordability, the document notes that this type of ownership arrangement also makes more efficient use of the housing stock. This means that “smaller households can maximize the space available in larger houses and heritage properties by co-owning them with others”. Co-ownership also “enables groups of people to voluntarily create a community environment with facilities, indoor and outdoor common spaces and services that meet their needs”. In the interview, Usher recalled an example involving two households that bought

a detached home with separate entrances at 539 West 14th Street in North Vancouver. The families lived in the same property for eight years, and during that time, their relationship deteriorated to a point that in 2016 one party asked the courts to dissolve their co-ownership agreement. The property, which they purchased in 2008 at a price of $1,028,000, was eventually sold. The North Vancouver home has a 2022 assessment of $2,030,000. “The market went up during the time they owned it, and even though it didn’t work out for them living together, in the end it was probably financially good,” Usher said. Meanwhile, Lao—an agent for Sutton Group-West Coast Realty—said that she has received a number of inquiries regarding the half-condo at 1608–63 Keefer Place. “It is a very good price,” Lao said about the $280,000 price tag. Plus, Lao noted that a buyer can move into the property. But interested parties first have to consult a lawyer to “create an agreement that might work”. As of February 2022, a typical condo on the East Side of Vancouver costs $678,900. On the West Side of the city, the benchmark price of a condo is $871,300. g

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

CYCLING

Cycle highways seen as future solution to gridlock

by Charlie Smith

ry to imagine what it would be like to go all the way from the North Shore to the Tsawwassen ferry terminal on a bicycle. Sure, there are some very fit cycling keeners who can make this trip under current circumstances. But they are few and far between. But what if there were a separated pathway where there would be no interactions with pedestrians or motor vehicles? And what if people were able to make this journey on an ebike? That’s one of the possibilities outlined in a Hub Cycling report that will soon be released. It makes a case for “cycle highways” in Metro Vancouver.

Navdeep Chhina, director of campaigns and inclusion with HUB Cycling, told the Straight by phone that cycle highways have potential to offer tremendous benefits for improving the community’s health. Not only that, but they could also promote more tourism. “What the study is looking at is what are the corridors between different municipalities?” Chhina told the Straight by phone. HUB Cycling mapped segments across the region, stretching deep into the northeast sector and South Surrey. Chhina said that it’s conceivable that within Vancouver, a cycling highway could include the Arbutus Greenway, which could be part of the segment going toward the ferry terminal.

> Go on-line to read hundreds of I Saw You posts or to respond to a message < PINK HAIRED GIRL AT CHURCHES

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 26, 2022 WHERE: Churches on Nanaimo// Hastings We made small talk about the wait times on orders and buying bus passes. Very intricate stuff. I wish I could have thought of something more interesting to say at the time, but there it was-my poor attempt at flirting. Here’s hoping you see this and I get a second chance.

IKEA ORDER PICK UP

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 12, 2022 WHERE: Ikea Pick Up Warehouse Coquitlam You said your name was Daniel. I can’t believe I just let you drive away. I wished I talked with you more. I was frazzled from my day, lol. You shook my hand when I asked your name and again when we parted. Your thoughtfulness to help me won’t be forgotten. It made my whole day. I couldn’t imagine a more handsome man with a beautiful smile to have helped me, and now I can’t stop thinking about you. Who are you?

SEAWALL - YOU STOPPED ME TO ASK IF WE HAD WORKED TOGETHER

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 12, 2022 WHERE: Vancouver Seawall You stopped me on the Seawall today (Saturday March 12) to ask if we had worked together in the past. I said no, waved bye and then we went in opposite directions. You caught me off guard and as I was walking away I regretted not taking the time to talk some more. If you feel the same, write me back and let me know any detail of our brief interaction so I know it’s you :)

AT PARADISE MARCH 19

SEXY MARRIED GUY

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 19, 2022 WHERE: Paradise

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 4, 2022 WHERE: West Vancouver

We danced for a while and tried to talk over the loud music. We agreed it was so nice to finally be out again and how much we'd missed it. You are Piedro from Brazil, you told me my hair was intense and you liked it. I regret that we didn't exchange phone numbers. Want to get together and talk some more?

You were at the Squarerigger Pub in West Vancouver. You were wearing all black and were with one buddy. I kept finding myself looking over at you because I thought you were really adorable and had a very sexy vibe about you... Cute voice and gestures. However I didn’t go over and talk to you because I saw you had a wedding ring. I’m posting this on the off chance you read this and can revel in the compliment. I am brunette and was wearing black jeans and a tan cardigan, having a beer with a guy friend.

IN THE LINE AT WINNERS BUYING A TOY DINOSAUR NOT FOT MY KIDS

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 18, 2022 WHERE: Winners

I saw you in the lineup at Winners. You knew that toy dinosaur wasn't for either of my two boys. I am drawn by your personality. I'm usually not shy but I knew my face was red and I was super instant crush shy. I wanted to ask you your name, and for coffee. I was still embarrassed about the dinosaur. But at least you know I have good taste in candles.

PETRO CAN NEW WEST 12TH AND STEWARDSON

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 11, 2022 WHERE: Petro Can New West 12th and Stewardson I missed what I believe may have been a wonderful opportunity. I was filling my car and you pulled up the pump behind me with a beautiful smile. Once you got out I commented about getting through a global pandemic to segue to getting gouged at the pumps. You laughed and said but now we can see each other's grimace. A bit more conversation and I said have a great day. I pulled away... then I came back but you had already gone. Contact me?

IT’S A STRETCH

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: MARCH 2, 2022 WHERE: Gastown

Tattooed East Van yogi with a silver bike at One Yoga for the People last fall. Come back & share that peaceful warrior energy!

CUTE LADY @ CARIBOU EARLY SHOW

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: FEBRUARY 19, 2022 WHERE: Commodore Ballroom Saw you with your friends dancing beside me in front of the railing during the Caribou show on Saturday, the early performance. Me: 5”11 ish, black hoodie, green hat. You: Cute, green dress, light shoulder length hair and pretty earrings hanging out with I believe 2 female friends and 1 male friend wearing a MOOG merchandise. We were facing the Strobe Lights off to the left of the stage with a bouncer looking towards us. I should have asked you to dance with me or at least asked to exchange numbers. Maybe we will meet again someday! Hopefully another show is in the cards.

Visit straight.com to post your FREE I Saw You _ 6

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

MARCH 31 – APRIL 7 / 2022

Copenhagen has highways reserved for cyclists who commute longer distances, and HUB Cycling thinks they’re a good idea for the region’s residents who ride ebikes. Photo by Koldo Studios/Getty.

“A cycle highway would be a route where people don’t have to stop and they can go on a hard speed without having to worry about conflicts with people walking or people driving,” Chhina explained. “This is something that has been very successfully done in Copenhagen.” Moreover, he noted, Copenhagen shares something in common with Vancouver: both cities are in regions that are comprised of many municipalities. The lure of cycle highways increases with the rise of ebikes and other electric forms of active transportation. Chhina said that there are also more cargo bikes being sold to people who need transportation that can carry goods but who don’t want to buy a car. And Chhina believes that if municipalities provide more cycling infrastructure, it will encourage even more utilization of sustainable transportation that will not only keep the air cleaner but also cut down on traffic congestion. “It becomes even more important with electric-assist bikes because they can go faster than the regular bikes,” he said. “It’s a lot more dangerous if they are on the roads with cars. So we need to move faster in reallocating our road space, especially when it comes to neighbourhood streets. We need to reallocate to walking and cycling.” A 2020 UBC research project gives credence to what Chhina is saying if policymakers want to encourage more people to use ebikes. Jimin Park, a transportation planner at Watt Consulting Group, was part of a team that studied barriers to ebike use when she was a master’s student in the UBC School of Community and Regional Planning. The university asked nearly 400 staff and faculty to try an ebike for 24 hours. The study found that 43 of them ultimately rented an ebike for 24 hours and 17 ended up purchasing

discounted ebikes. This was not an impressive number if the goal is to get more faculty and staff to commute via ebike. “In our focus group, we found that lack of separated bike paths was the greatest barrier,” Park told the Straight by phone. The next biggest barrier was the lack of infrastructure on campus, whether that was high-quality parking or charging capabilities. The third biggest barrier was cost— ebikes can sell for $2,000 and there’s not a deep secondary market of used products. The group of researchers had four recommendations. The first was to increase the quantity and quality of bike parking infrastructure on the UBC campus. Secondly, they urged the university to provide “high-quality, integrated end-of-trip facilities on campus”. The third recommendation was for financial incentives for faculty and staff to buy ebikes. And, finally, the researchers encouraged an education and awareness campaign on campus. Park believes that the barriers to ebike use on campus likely mirror those in much of the region. Then there’s the issue of faster electric-assist bikes operating in the same separated cycling lanes as old-fashioned pedalpower bikes. Park said that she’s noticing more vehicles of varying speeds when she’s out on her bike in places like Stanley Park. “The biggest thing as a transportation planner I would recommend is wider separated facilities,” she said. Chhina also pointed out another glaring public-policy issue related to ebikes. And that’s the lack of financial incentives from senior levels of government. “There is no rebate to buy electric-assist bikes but you get rebates to buy expensive electric cars,” Chhina said. “That is not equitable. If you’re giving rebates on cars, give rebates on bikes.” g

OUTSIDE

Great gardeners make good customers at Hunters

by Carlito Pablo

ardening has taught Miles Hunter an important virtue: patience. “Planting and growing anything takes patience,” the owner of Hunters Garden Centre told the Straight in a phone interview. “When you’re growing something from seed,” the avid gardener said, “you put a seed in the ground and it can be two weeks before that seed might show itself and pop up. And so you have to learn to wait and be patient. “When you’re growing something that’s going to produce food—like, say, you’re going to grow a fruit tree, an apple tree or cherry tree—you’re probably waiting two to three years before you’re going to get your first reasonable crop out of it,” he continued. “So you have to learn to wait.” Flowers are another example. “You can plant a small plant in the early spring, like right now—you can plant some geraniums and petunias and things like that—but you’re not really going to see a big show until June or July, when those plants are going to produce their big show of flowers.” Hunters Garden Centre has been in business for almost 69 years. It was started in the

Third-generation gardening retailer Mike Hunter suggests that rookies start small.

autumn of 1953 by Hunter’s grandparents David and Margaret, who had their first store in Vancouver on Kingsway and Rupert Street.

Hunter’s parents, Ron and Deni, eventually took over. Hunter is the third generation in the family to run the business. Asked how young he was when he first got involved in the company, Hunter said, laughing, “As soon as I could walk.” “Officially, I didn’t get put in the payroll until I was 14, but I certainly worked at the stores before then,” he said. “We used to have a nursery, and I worked at the nursery probably since I was eight years old.” He has been the general manager since 2010 and became the owner in 2015. Hunters Garden Centre has two locations: at 2560 West Broadway in Vancouver, and 15175 72nd Avenue in Surrey. “The people of Vancouver and Greater Vancouver definitely love their gardens,” Hunter said about how the family business has thrived through the years. “They’ve always had a really great gardening community, and they’ve always supported us very well,” he added. “From the early days of the business, we’ve had lots of great gardeners as customers.” On March 22 this year, the Canadian Garden Council announced that it has proclaimed 2022 as the country’s Year of

the Garden. The CGC was founded as a nonprofit in 2014 in collaboration with the Canadian Nursery Landscape Association. Hunter’s grandfather David was active for many years in the CNLA, which is marking its 100-year anniversary in 2022. Hunter said that the Year of the Garden 2022 is a great way to celebrate the beauty and bounty that nature provides. “I would like to see people continue to enjoy spending time outdoors in their garden, making the world a more colourful place,” Hunter said. “I would like to see people growing their own fresh herbs and vegetables on their patio or in their backyard, so they can experience the taste of fresh produce.” For people wanting to get into gardening, Hunter suggests starting small. “For indoor plants, I would start with two to three plants. For outdoors, just three to five,” he said. For a beginner’s vegetable garden, Hunter recommended a small plot of just four feet by eight feet. When you can manage that, it’s time to expand. In other words—as Hunter said he has learned from his long years of gardening— be patient. g

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

WINE

Chilled glass of bubbly makes rain more tolerable

by Rachel Moore

he bad news is that we’re stuck in the middle of a dark and rainy spring season that has compelled you to triple your daily dosage of vitamin D. But the good news is that there’s a sparkling wine for that. Although most folks think of sparkling wine—like rosé or sangria—as a summer beverage, the truth is, it hits the same all year round. So if you’ve been skipping on the bubbly from September to June, you have been making a grave mistake. Luckily, the damage that results from failing to view sparkling wine as a versatile beverage can be reversed. We’re positive that a chilled glass of bubbly will stop you from impulse buying a plane ticket out of this godforsaken, damp city. These following three B.C. sparkling wines will, undoubtedly, make the gloomy weather a little more tolerable. ROAD 13 2017 SPARKLING CHENIN BLANC

You might be thinking that this $45 bottle of sparkling wine is too nice to drink by yourself. But you’ve been working hard and haven’t had a full-blown emotional meltdown for about a week—the dogs you follow

Road 13 2017 Sparkling Chenin Blanc, CedarCreek 2020 Jagged Rock Sparkling Rosé, and Mission Hill Reserve Brut all help beat back the blues.

on Instagram have been alive and well. Now is the perfect time to indulge in a bottle of Road 13’s Sparkling Chenin Blanc, produced in Oliver, B.C. The effervescent wine encompasses scents of green apple, brioche, and Bosc pear, while each sip brings tasting notes of f laky pastry, pear, and Granny Smith apple to your palate.

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When it comes to pairing sparkling wine with food, we strongly believe that it goes with everything—don’t knock bubbly and French fries until you try it. But if you prefer to play it safe with accompaniments, we suggest brie-style cheeses with crackers, pasta with creamy sauces, shrimp, salami, and mushroom dishes.

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CEDARCREEK 2020 JAGGED ROCK SPARKLING ROSÉ

This light-pink sparkling wine, produced in Kelowna, B.C., is worthy of a spot at any and all festivities—think birthday parties, bridal showers, graduation events, and bachelorette celebrations. The Jagged Rock Sparkling Rosé is from CedarCreek Estate Winery’s Platinum Collection, which means you can expect incredible flavour intensity and balance from the Pinot Noir blend. It has fruity notes of strawberry and pink grapefruit, and if you really pay attention to each sip, you’ll notice a lingering taste of savoury cream. CedarCreek is committed to organic vineyard farming, making it a popular B.C. wine producer among health-conscious vino enthusiasts. Sparkling rosé varieties can be enjoyed alongside vegetarian grub like hummus and pita bread, pesto flatbread, veggie pizzas, and cheeses. A 12-bottle case of the Jagged Rock Sparkling Rosé can be ordered from the winery’s website for $420. MISSION HILL RESERVE BRUT

The Mission Hill Reserve Brut is a limited release, which means you’ll have to promptly stock up on several bottles. For a modest $27, this sparkling wine will help you drown out the sounds of rain aggressively pelting against your living room’s window—silence as you watch Succession is not too much to ask for. The blend consists of 90 percent Chardonnay and 10 percent Pinot Noir grape varietals, which were grown in two of the estate’s vineyards in Oliver, B.C. Those with a mature, developed palate will taste notes of green apple, white peach, Anjou pear, and citrus. But even if you’re far from a sommelier, your Reserve Brut flavour journey will extend beyond experiencing hints of grape. g

FOOD

Chef Bruno Feldeisen calls on community to give by Charlie Smith

It’s a city where lots of people struggle – Chef Bruno Feldeisen

quipped. “It’s a great way to give back. I’ve been very fortunate in my career.” On a more serious note, the chef emphasized that people living on the streets are not criminals. And it’s a “fact” that some kids don’t have homes in Vancouver. These are some of the people that Family Services of Greater Vancouver helps. “You know, we should never forget about that,” Feldeisen said. “When I read Vancouver rated always as the best city in the world—and people screaming about it—it makes me angry, almost. “There is no need to glorify Vancouver in this way because it’s not a great city for

a lot of people,” he continued. “It’s a city where lots of people struggle.” Feldeisen is a big promoter of food banks, noting that even a small donation can go a long way. He often tells people that a $10 gift can feed somebody for two days. When he speaks to students, he encourages them to spend an hour or two a month at their local food bank because that helps them better understand the issue of hunger. “There is no shame to go to the food bank,” Feldeisen insisted. He’s acutely aware of the rising cost of food. Even less expensive items, like red beets, have shot up in price, he noted. “I think it’s squeezing a lot of people out of what they can eat,” Feldeisen said. When asked for any cooking tips for Straight readers, he recommended buying a roasted chicken, which costs about $10 in grocery stores. “We have a small family,” he said. “We can eat the breast or the legs the same night. We can do chicken salad. We can do chicken soup.” He also makes chicken broth from the bones. “So with one chicken, I can make four meals,” Feldeisen said. g

Vancouver’s judge on the Great Canadian Baking Show, Bruno Feldeisen, is not only a top pastry chef but he is also a vocal advocate for the poor, saying there is no shame in going to the food bank.

hef Bruno Feldeisen is best known as one of the judges on the Great Canadian Baking Show. He has also gained fame for his skills in the kitchen, with Chocolatier Magazine twice naming him as one of the top 10 pastry chefs in North America. But here in Vancouver, where he’s been living for 13 years, the French-born baking expert has made a name for himself as a humanitarian. “I can relate to a lot of people in need,” Feldeisen recently told the Straight by phone. “You know, I had myself a very difficult childhood—borderline traumatic.” He said that he donates about 15 dinners a year in B.C. to different charities, including the B.C. Cancer Society and the Kidney Foundation of B.C. The charities will sometimes offer a package dinner for several people in a home as part of a fundraiser. At times, he has prepared five-course

meals with wine that were purchased for between $2,000 to $4,000. On these occasions, Feldeisen said that he paid for everything, so the entire donation went to the charity. “I think, on my own, I probably raise in Vancouver around $100,000 a year,” the chef said. “It’s good for my ego.” His next fundraiser is the Fam Jam Kitchen virtual cooking class on April 9 to benefit Family Services of Greater Vancouver. The organization provides more than 50 programs and workshops across the region to help families facing food insecurity, financial instability, and other challenges. Each family ticket will include access to the virtual event and a meal kit for three adults or two adults with two children. Fresh Prep will provide the starter and a main course, with Feldeisen creating a handcrafted dessert. “I don’t know how to say ‘no’,” Feldeisen

Check out the Georgia Straight’s upcoming issue on MAY 26, 2022 and discover our readers favourite places to eat, drink and hang out.

Ballot has now closed for the Golden Plates contest Thank you to all our participating sponsors this year: Terra Breads, Rocky Mountain Flatbread, L a Belle Patate Vancouver, Water St. Cafe, West Coast Poké, España, Pacific Poke, Car tems Donuts, Pallet Coffee Roasters, Marquis Wines, Bella Gelateria, Memphis Blues BBQ House, Bonta Italian Restaurante, Havana, Baan L ao Fine Thai Cuisine.

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he famous “Copa” scene in the movie Goodfellas became legendary in film circles because it was a single continuous take that lasted almost three minutes. The multidisciplinary Vancouver company Boca del Lupo will beat that milestone by almost 13 minutes when it presents its latest LivePerformance360 event. The Goodfellas sequence served its auteur’s artistic vision, but that journey through the bowels of a famed nightclub also celebrated the technical innovations brought by the introduction of the Steadicam to the movie industry in 1975. Similarly, the two immersive virtual-reality experiences being offered by LivePerformance360 (LP360) in the latest of its spring series are also a result of a relatively recent tech wrinkle: the 360-degree digital camera. Because the camera can fi lm in all directions simultaneously, some usage will require it to be stationary. That was the case with Boca del Lupo’s LP360 production of “Pochsy at the Airport Hotel”, which utilizes the ultimate wide-angle lens to record a short (16 minute) VR experience that will alternate showings with “The Magic Hour 360”, an Electric Club and The Only Animal remounting of a 2021 production. “The Magic Hour” was originally presented as a 40-minute, pandemic-friendly walk-through theatrical experience conceived by director Kim Collier. It is now a more constrained and immersive VR adventure that it describes as a “multi-layer mixed-media feast for the senses”. Its LP360 companion, “Pochsy at the Airport Hotel”, sprang from the brain of Calgary-based writer, actor, and director Karen Hines. Hines runs Keep Frozen: Pochsy Productions, which produces and manages the plays and fi lms that come from her prolific imagination, including a trilogy of plays starring her character Pochsy (pronounced “POX-see”) that have been published in paperback as The Pochsy Plays (2004). “It was quite a production,” Hines told the Straight by phone from Calgary about “Pochsy at the Airport Hotel”. “We shot it in a hotel room because at the time there were no rehearsal spaces available. “My director was actually in the bathroom of the room I was in. We were in an actual hotel room.” Hines said the production, presented in VR at Granville Island’s appropriately named Fishbowl from March 30 to April 3, isn’t actually “live”, as the series title suggests. “They’re being a bit provocative there,” Hines said with a laugh. “They’re calling it a ‘live’ performance, and we

Karen Hines as an earlier incarnation of her Pochsy character, from Pochsy’s Lips.

performed it without a cut…but it’s not live; I’m not there.” As for that single take? “You rarely see a 16-minute shot on film or TV….It’s surreal,” she said before trying to explain what “Pochsy” viewers’ experiences will be like. (Those unfamiliar with Hines’s Pochsy character can reference the Amazon blurb for The Pochsy Plays: “Beckett meets Betty Boop in this trilogy of monologues by Canadian cult heroine Pochsy, a really vapid, utterly charming vixen.”) Hines says her audiences—who will be allowed in six at a time, with VR headsets— won’t really be watching a movie or a play. “It’s like a cross between a one-act play and a short film…It’s a very powerful medium. “It’s like you’re in the room,” she explains. “It feels more like a [live] performance in that there is no escape from this room.” She watched it, she says, and “it was like I was sitting in a room with myself”. Hines says she had a couple of friends watch in her presence and one was so clearly discomfited that he “was just crawling around on his chair while watching it”. Hines won’t reveal much of what to expect from Pochsy in this latest incarnation other than to say that the trademark-monologue material will be “50-50, old and new”. “I decided to use some material that was tried-and-true….There is also some stuff in there that was written specifically for that location, the hotel.” Boca del Lupo commissioned the piece in 2021, Hines said: “It came out of that early wave of digital programming that swept the country [early in the pandemic]. “Boca has used this time to investigate what theatre really is,” Hines added. g

ARTS

Taran Kootenhayoo’s words will be heard at Firehall

by Charlie Smith

here’s a sadness that still lingers over Vancouver’s arts and Indigenous communities dating back to the start of 2021. That year opened with news of a terrible loss. Taran Kootenhayoo, a brilliant 27-year-old playwright and actor, had died on New Year’s Eve. Kootenhayoo, a member of the Alexis Nakota Sioux Nation from Cold Lake, Alberta, was mourned as a “generous spirit”, a “beacon”, a “beloved friend”, and “such a bright, wise soul”. But because his death occurred in the midst of the pandemic, it was hard for those who loved him in Vancouver to gather in large numbers to pay their respects. So from April 16 to May 1, the Firehall Arts Centre and Savage Society will honour Kootenhayoo’s memory by presenting his play, White Noise, which was shown as a workshop production at the Talking Stick Festival in 2019. “It’s heartbreaking, but this is probably the best way we can celebrate his life that I can think of,” Savage Society artistic director Kevin Loring tells the Straight by phone. “Many of us are still sort of reeling from that tragedy, but this work will live on.” The Savage Society works with many young Indigenous artists. Loring, also director of Indigenous theatre at the National Arts Centre, remembers the day when Kootenhayoo told him that he would like to write a play. “I said okay,” Loring says. “We supported him in writing the grants and getting ready to do a workshop of a first draft. We walked him through the process of what he needed to do.” Loring, who’s of Nlaka’pamux heritage and from the Lytton First Nation, initially didn’t know what to expect. But right out of the gate, in the first reading, the feedback was entirely positive. Loring recalls hearing peers say, “We’ve got a writer on our hands; he’s really clever and has a lot to say.” “We just went from there, and [the play] just kept building its own momentum,” Loring says. White Noise is a biting comedy about two families—Indigenous and white— who have dinner together during Truth and Reconciliation Week. It’s directed by Renae Morriseau, a veteran Cree and Saulteaux actor, writer, director, and producer originally from the Treaty 1 Territory of Manitoba. For Morriseau, this project is very personal. When she played the character of Ellen Kenidi on the CBC show North of 60 in the 1990s, Kootenhayoo’s mother was on the production team and brought her kids onto the set. Kootenhayoo’s sister Cheyanna, a.k.a. DJ Kookum, is the associate director and sound designer on White Noise.

Braiden Houle and Sam Bob will reprise their roles as the Indigenous father and son in White Noise after playing the parts in a workshopped version at the 2019 Talking Stick Festival.

Morriseau describes the loss of Kootenhayoo as devastating for the community, describing him as a “very endearing young man”. “White Noise is Taran’s first kick at the can in terms of theatre,” she tells the Straight by phone. Morriseau is reluctant to share too many details about the plot. That prompts the Straight to ask if the white family is ignorant about the true history of Canada. “I’m not going to tell you,” she replies with a laugh. “Keep guessing.” She’s more forthcoming in discussing the dynamics of the production, which features performances by Sam Bob, Columpa Bobb, Braiden Houle, Mike Wasko, Anita Wittenberg, and Anais West. Experienced Indigenous actors Bob and Bobb (the daughter of author and poet Lee Maracle) play the parents to Houle’s character. Wasko and Wittenberg play the white parents of West’s character. Bob, Houle, and Wittenberg performed in the 2019 workshopped production. Morriseau appreciates how Kootenhayoo’s play offers an opportunity for the cast to unpack undercurrents of racism and racial stereotypes. “In what way do we speak about the history of Canada and its impact on Indigenous communities and their health and their education?” Morriseau asks. “I think for the First Nations actors that are all on [stage] here, they’re talking about their experiences. And the Canadian actors are having to look at their own place in society and what that represents for them in the conversations that are happening on the page.” According to Morriseau, this is done in the context of Kootenhayoo’s “cringey, curious comedy about the grey area” where humour intersects with culture.

“One of the greatest things is to laugh about ourselves and our human condition,” she says. As the director, Morriseau infused Indigenous perspectives into the play. One example is in the set, which features

words on geometric shapes in the Stoney language of Kootenhayoo’s Alexis Nakota Sioux Nation. “Much of the cast and pretty much all of the crew are Indigenous, so it’s pretty emotional in that way,” she says. Morriseau has a great deal of experience working in Indigenous communities, most recently in Northern Manitoba. There, she was running workshops stimulating observations of reality in what’s known as “theatre of the oppressed”, which was developed by Brazilian playwright Augusto Boal. Morriseau was helping women who had suffered as a result of their experience with addiction and prostitution gain an understanding of legislative changes to the sex industry in Canada. Morriseau concedes that this work is emotionally gruelling and can lead to nightmares. So returning to Vancouver to direct a comedy offers welcome relief. “I’m just so honoured that I can bring Taran Kootenhayoo’s work to the Firehall theatre,” she says. g The Firehall Arts Centre and Savage Society will present the world premiere of White Noise at the Firehall Arts Centre on April 20. Previews begin on April 16 and the show will continue until May 1.

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DANCEHOUSE PRESENTS KIDD PIVOT’S “REVISOR” Playwright Jonathon Young’s work, choreographed and directed by Kidd Pivot artistic director Crystal Pite, which takes inspiration from Nikolai Gogol’s scabrous pantomime of power and politics. To Apr 2, Vancouver Playhouse. MADE IN ITALY The Arts Club Theatre Company presents a play about a second-generation Italian teen struggling to find his place in Jasper, Alberta. To Apr 17, Granville Island Stage. Note: postponed from original dates of Jan 13 to Feb 13. Tix from $35. MEN EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS Zee Zee Theatre presents a provocative comedy challenging assumptions about masculinity and gender norms. To Apr 3, 7:30 pm, Firehall Arts Centre. SHO ESQUIRO: DOCTRINE OF DISCOVERY Solo exhibition by designer, artist, and activist showcases meticulously crafted couture gowns, textiles, paintings, and photographs. To Jun 5, Bill Reid Gallery of Northwest Coast Art. CLOUD ALBUM Exhibition features more than 250 historically and culturally significant works drawn from the collection of the London-based Archive of Modern Conflict. To May 1, Polygon Gallery. SPRING 2022: COLLECTED WORKS Group exhibition on the potency of photography featuring the work of Larry Clark, Katy Grannan, and Andres Serrano. To May 28, Rennie Museum. Free.

VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL BURLESQUE FESTIVAL Showcase of local and national burlesque talent features two evenings of performances and workshops. Apr 6-9, Vancouver Playhouse. COLLECTED STORIES, A PLAY BY DONALD MARGULIES Pulitzer Prize-winner Donald Margulies' searching look at the lives of a pair of writers, focusing on their friendship and ambition. Apr 6-22, The Red Gate Revue Stage. $30.

THURSDAY, MARCH 31 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS The story of a nine-year-old who comes out as a boy to his family and how they learn to accept his gender identity. Mar 31–Apr 23, Waterfront Theatre. $24. THE 39 STEPS Royal City Theatre Company presents a fast-paced, espionage-filled comedy, directed by Mark Carter. Mar 31, 7:30 pm; Apr 1, 7:30 pm; Apr 2, 3:30 pm; Apr 2, 7:30 pm, Anvil Centre.

FRIDAY, APRIL 1 CAPTURE 2022 FESTIVAL LAUNCH View the Capture 2022 Festival exhibition Family Album, with works by Rydel Cerezo, Anique Jordan, Anna Kasko, Meryl McMaster, Cheryl Mukherji, Dainesha NugentPalache, Birthe Piontek and Silvia Rosi. Apr 1, 7-9 pm, Pendulum Gallery.. THE ANCIENT LAW (1923) Klezmer violinist Alicia Svigals and pianist Donald Sosin perform the live score to a screening of The Ancient Law. Apr 1, 3-5:45 pm, Chan Centre for the Performing Arts. Free. MISCHA MAISKY & THE VSO Cellist Mischa Maisky performs Antonin Dvořák’s Cello Concerto with the Vancouver Symphony. Apr 1 & 3, Orpheum Theatre. CASTILLE TO SAMARKAND Early Music Vancouver presents music of the Spanish Renaissance. Apr 1, 7:30 pm, Kay Meek Arts Centre. $45. FESTIVAL DU BOIS Family-oriented celebration of francophone music and culture features performances and workshops. Apr 1-3, Mackin Park, Coquitlam.

SATURDAY, APRIL 2 MISCHA MAISKY CELLO MASTERCLASS Cellist Mischa Maisky passes on his teachings to advanced students of the VSO School of Music. Apr 2, 5-7 pm, VSO School of Music. $15.

SUNDAY, APRIL 3 OPEN STAGE #2 Short works by Anya Saugstad and Artists, Lamondance, Linda Hayes, and Rachel Maddock. Apr 3, 7 pm, Scotiabank Dance Centre.

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JINJOO CHO Vancouver Chamber Music Society presents acclaimed violinist. Apr 4, Anvil Centre..

TUESDAY, APRIL 5 JCC JEWISH BOOK FESTIVAL EPILOGUE EVENT Double book-launch featuring authors Robert Krell and Alan Twigg. Apr 5, 7 pm, Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver. Free.

SATURDAY, APRIL 9 1 NIGHT STAND Fundraiser for Ukraine relief features standup comedy by Charlie Demers, Jane Stanton, Yumi Nagashima, Peter Kelamis, and Sam Tonning. Apr 9, 6 pm, York Theatre. $25-$100. CONNECTION PLEASE! WITH LIZZIE ALLAN Lizzie Allan performs a standup comedy show that aims to raise awareness about the reality of recovery from addiction. Apr 9, 7 pm, Anvil Centre. $30. TOWARDS THE LIGHT Musica intima shares the stage with the Vancouver Youth Choir for the world premiere of a new piece by Vancouver composer Emily Millard. Apr 9, 7:30 pm, Christ Church Cathedral.

SUNDAY, APRIL 10 DEVIL'S VIOLIN The Vancouver Chamber Music Society presents violinist JinJoo Cho performing with pianist Hyun Soo Kim. Apr 10, 3 pm, Anvil Centre. $20-$38.

MONDAY, APRIL 11 DONNELL RAWLINGS Comedy Here Often presents a standup-comedy show by American comic, actor, and radio host. Apr 11, 8 pm, Hollywood Theatre. $45.

TUESDAY, APRIL 12 SAPPHIRE HAZE Music on Main presents duo composed of Cindy Kao (violin) and Aysha Dulong (electronics). Apr 12, 7:30 pm, Fox Cabaret. $15-32.

THURSDAY, APRIL 14 ’DA KINK IN MY HAIR A musical celebration of women of colour. Apr 14–May 15, Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage. From $35.

SATURDAY, APRIL 16 WHITE NOISE A comedy about internalized racism in which two families have dinner together for the first time during Truth and Reconciliation week. Apr 16–May 1, Firehall Arts Centre. From $15.

THURSDAY, APRIL 21 BAD PARENT Parents of a toddler try to figure out who they are in relation to their son, to each other, and to the audience. Apr 21–May 1, Historic Theatre.

MONDAY, APRIL 25 BACH'S BRANDENBERG CONCERTOS The VSO School of Music’s Sinfonietta joins forces with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra for performances of all six Brandenburg Concertos. Apr 25, 7:30 pm, Chan Centre for the Performing Arts. $10/$19. HMS PINAFORE Vancouver Opera presents Gilbert and Sullivan’s comedic tale of forbidden love across class divides. Apr 30, 7:30 pm; May 5, 7:30 pm; May 7, 7:30 pm; May 8, 2 pm, Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 JUST FOR LAUGHS VANCOUVER Comedy festival features performances by Nicole Byer, Andrew Santino, Marc Maron, Maria Bamford, Natasha Leggero, Moshe Kasher, Jimmy O. Yang, and Chris Redd. May 25-29, various Vancouver venues. ARTS LISTINGS are a public service provided free of charge, based on available space and editorial discretion. Submit events online using the eventsubmission form at straight.com/AddEvent. Events that don't make it into the paper due to space constraints will appear on the website.

ARTS

Mischa Maisky believes that all you need is love

by Steve Newton

t’s difficult to imagine the suffering that the people of Ukraine have been going through at the hands of the invading Russian Army for the past month. How does someone live with the possibility that their home and loves ones could be blown to bits at any time? Famed Soviet-born Israeli cellist Mischa Maisky has never had his house demolished by a Russian bomb, but he has experienced firsthand what it’s like to be targeted by that country’s powers that be. In 1970, while studying with cello master Mstislav Rostropovich for his diploma at the Moscow Conservatory, Maisky was arrested, ostensibly because he had bought a tape recorder on the black market. (He wanted to record his lessons with Rostropovich, who is widely regarded as one of the greatest cellists of all time). As Maisky explains on the phone from a San Francisco hotel, the real reason he drew the ire of the Russian authorities was because a year earlier his older sister had immigrated to Israel, and they suspected he would follow suit once his studies were done. He spent four months in jail and 14 months in a labour camp, and he never got the certificate he was so close to earning. “I know this may sound strange,” he says, “but in a very peculiar, somewhat perverse way, I can sincerely say that I not only don’t regret that rather complicated and difficult situation but, in a way, I’m kind of grateful for my destiny to the Soviet authorities. Even though I never received a diploma from Moscow Conservatory, I think I received a much more complete life education, which helped me to mature as a human being and as a musician as well.” Maisky’s journey to becoming an international touring musician and successful recording artist started very early. In fact, the 74-year-old—who performs with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra this Friday and Sunday (April 1 and 3)—claims that he first discovered his love of music before he was born. “I was born into a very musical family,” he says, “and I sincerely believe that babies, before they are born, can hear music and feel music. Even though both of my parents didn’t get a chance to become musicians, they loved music passionately, so there was music at home continuously. I was the last, third, child, and my sister—who was almost 10 years older—was a pianist. And my brother, who was six years older, started with the violin but eventually switched to organ, harpsichord, and musicology because of his passion for Bach.” Once he started playing cello, at age

Soviet-born cellist Mischa Maisky spent 14 months in a Russian work camp for angering the authorities there. Now he performs concerts to support the victims of Putin’s war on Ukraine.

I find it just so unbelievable how, in the 21st century, we’re going through this kind of situation in Europe. – Mischa Maisky

eight, the Latvian-born Maisky followed in his brother’s footsteps, developing his own love of Johann Sebastian Bach. He wouldn’t call the legendary German composer his all-time favourite, though. “I don’t have a favourite composer,” he explains, “I have many favourite composers. But, of course, when I play Bach—which, actually, I’m going to do in a couple of days in Toronto, and then in Quebec, before coming to Vancouver—definitely I can’t imagine any music of greater space. However, when I play Shostakovich, I feel the same, or when I play Schubert, or when I play Richard Strauss, or whatever it might be. “I never play music which I don’t like enough to be in love with the moment that I play,” he adds. “I think it’s very important, because you cannot fake it. If you want to reach not just people’s ears through sounds or their minds with musical ideas but if you want to go to the

highest level, in my opinion, to reach people’s hearts, then it has to originate from your heart. Because as corny as it might sound, even the Beatles knew that all one needs is love.” For his local appearance with the VSO, Maisky will open his heart in a performance of Czech composer Antonín Dvořák’s Cello Concerto. “It’s arguably the most famous and most popular cello concerto,” he says, “and for a very good reason. It’s definitely the piece which I play more than any other piece, and probably every cellist can say the same. It’s very challenging, of course, but at the same time, it’s one of the most beautiful and perfect concertos ever written for any instrument. Maybe violinists and pianists are even envious of cellists because of this concerto, because it has so much incredible fervour.” The night before talking to the Straight, Maisky had appeared at San

Francisco’s Herbst Theatre with the eldest of his six children, pianist daughter Lily and violinist son Sascha. He said they performed works by Johannes Brahms, Franz Schubert, Felix Mendelssohn, and Clara Schumann and dedicated a piece to those caught up in the Russia-Ukraine conf lict. Maisky had actually played in Kyiv last year, at an event marking the 80th anniversary of the Babyn Yar massacre, when almost 34,000 Ukrainian Jews were slaughtered by the Nazis within two days in 1941. On March 1 of this year, there were reports that a Russian missile had damaged an area near the Babyn Yar Holocaust Memorial Center, leading Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelenskyy to tweet: “To the world: what is the point of saying «never again» for 80 years, if the world stays silent when a bomb drops on the same site of Babyn Yar? At least 5 killed. History repeating…” Maisky, whose parents were both from Ukraine, feels particularly close to the tragedy unfolding there. “Just last week, before coming to San Francisco, we arranged and played— with my children and some other musicians—four different charity concerts in support of refugees and children. And at each concert, I had to say something, so I said that, you know, there are very few situations in my life which made me speechless, but this is definitely one of them. Because I find it just so unbelievable how, in the 21st century, we’re going through this kind of situation in Europe. It’s just virtually unbelievable. “But then I always thought that, as a great poet once said, ‘Music begins where words fail.’ Last night, for example, I played with my children an encore, which we dedicated to all the innocent victims of this terrible war—on both sides. Because it’s not only Ukrainians but in the long term Russia, the country, and Russian people who will suffer more than anyone else. Putin tries to destroy Ukraine, but in reality, what he’s doing is destroying his own country. “In Russia, we had many different expressions, but one of them was, ‘Don’t dig the grave for someone else, because you might fall in it yourself.’ And that’s very much the case. I am afraid—or I actually hope, to be honest—that Putin miscalculated to such an extent that it will be the end of him one way or the other. We’ll see.” g Mischa Maisky performs with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra on April 1 and 3 at the Orpheum Theatre and leads a public master class for advanced cellists and chamber ensembles on April 2 at Pyatt Hall.

MARCH 31 – APRIL 7 / 2022

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BOOKS

Twigg writes collage of perspectives on Holocaust

by Charlie Smith

ancouver author Alan Twigg wants future generations to never forget how the Holocaust stands out in history as the ultimate crime against humanity and a genocide unlike any other. In his new book, Out of Hiding: Holocaust Literature of British Columbia, he points out that never before has a modern industrial state been organized around the systematic murder of six million people over an eight-year period. “No other regime has so thoroughly and consistently degraded its victims,” Twigg writes. “Estimates vary but the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum claims Germans created 980 concentration camps, 30,000 slave-labour camps, 1,150 Jewish

ghettos, 1,000 prisoner-of-war camps and 500 brothels where women were sex slaves.” But he worries that the world is gradually forgetting about this uniquely obscene event with each new horror that arises, whether that’s genocide in Rwanda, massacres in Kosovo, or the current destruction of Ukraine being perpetrated by Russia. He likens the history of atrocities to a midden with different layers. There were events throughout the ages. “Now we’ve got another layer on top so it’s harder to get down to where the Holocaust is,” Twigg told the Straight by phone. He added that if there are now school courses in which genocide is taught, he expects that the Holocaust is considered as

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one of many genocides. “And that, to me, is incorrect,” Twigg said. This and his desire to educate future generations are two of his motivations to write Out of Hiding. It includes stories about 60 B.C. authors of books about the Holocaust, as well as shorter entries about many other books by B.C. authors that mention it. Plus, there are stories by Rabbi Meir Lau and Rabbi Yosef Wosk, as well as eyewitness reporting and photographs by Dr. Tom Perry (father of former NDP MLA Dr. Tom Perry) following the liberation of Buchenwald, which Twigg found in the Vancouver Holocaust Education Centre. He believes that the collage of different perspectives in his book provides a truer and deeper sense of the Holocaust than just reading one memoir. “I think it might be more effective in having it stick,” he added. The first book that he highlights by a B.C. author is I Escaped From Auschwitz by Rudolf Vrba, who died in 2006 after a long career as a medical researcher and pharmacology professor at UBC. Twigg declared that it’s “absolutely appalling and weird” that Vrba—described as the greatest whistleblower of the 20th century by Holocaust historian Martin Gilbert—is barely known in Vancouver, where he lived for 31 years. “He can be credited with saving at least 110,000 lives,” Twigg said. That’s because after he and fellow inmate Alfréd Wetzler snuck away from the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1944, they dictated what was happening there to Jewish officials in Slovakia. The Vrba-Wetzler report led American and British forces to bomb Budapest, causing the country’s ruler, Miklós Horthy, to end mass deportations of Hungarian Jews to their deaths. For this, Twigg describes Vrba as the most important B.C. author in history. After the war, Vrba criticized some Jews for not doing enough to tell people not to get on the trains. According to Twigg, this made him a figure of controversy, which is why he’s not memorialized in Yad Vashem, the World Holocaust Remembrance Center in Jerusalem. “Vrba said these things and they don’t want to hear that,” Twigg said. “He’s a very interesting character.” Two other B.C. authors who are given significant play in Out of Hiding are Robbie Waisman and Robert Krell, both former presidents of the Vancouver Holocaust Education Centre. Waisman was one of the youngest survivors of Buchenwald and he shared his story in Boy From Buchenwald. Krell, to whom Twigg’s book is dedicated, wrote an autobiography in 2021 called Sounds From Silence: Reflections of a Child Holocaust Survivor, Psychiatrist, and Teacher. Twigg described Krell as “an amazing person” and a “fantastic human

Alan Twigg says Auschwitz survivor and B.C. author Rudolf Vrba saved at least 110,000 lives.

No other regime has so thoroughly… degraded its victims. – Alan Twigg

being” who’s been educating people about the Holocaust for about 50 years. “If I have a grandson or a granddaughter and they go to high school in British Columbia, I want them to be told about the Holocaust—and not in some kind of nicey-nicey way,” Twig said. “I don’t want any ‘niceification’. I want to reassert the importance of that. My ideal reader is not somebody who is going to go to the book launch at the Jewish Community Centre because they already know about it. My ideal reader is people who don’t—who, like me, were not given one minute of instruction in the Holocaust when I went to the B.C. school system.” g Yosef Wosk will moderate a discussion with Alan Twigg and Robert Krell about their books at the epilogue event of the 2022 Cherie Smith JCC Jewish Book Festival. It’s being held at 7 p.m. on Tuesday (April 5) at the Jewish Community Centre and is also available online.

MOVIES

R2R films tackle tough problems with sensitivity by Charlie Smith

Director Engeli Broberg filmed a nonbinary youth for five years for the documentary Gabi, Between Ages 8 and 13, which will have its Canadian premiere at the Reel 2 Real International Film Festival.

t’s very unusual to come across films focusing on how families help their nonbinary children come to terms over a sustained period of time with their gender expression or gender identification. Last year’s DOXA Documentary Film Festival featured one such example, the National Film Board–produced “Into Light”. Director Sheona McDonald filmed a single mother raising a young transgender girl over several years in Canada’s North. This year, the Reel 2 Real International Film Festival for Youth includes another, Gabi, Between Ages 8 and 13. The Swedish-Norwegian documentary, directed by Engeli Broberg, explores the gender evolution of a youth named Gabi. Reel 2 Real’s director of festival programming, T. Bannister, is someone who uses the pronouns they and them. In a phone interview with the Straight, Bannister expressed a great deal of enthusiasm over Gabi, Between Ages 8 and 13, noting that it will have its Canadian premiere at the festival. “It’s a sensitive documentary that follows the journey of a young person who’s trying to understand their own gender identity from a very young age and is becoming acutely aware of how boys and girls are treated differently,” Bannister said. The film, according to Bannister,”is very much a fly-on-the-wall situation”. Viewers can follow Gabi through formative moments when a nonbinary person develops their sense of gender. “It’s really this kind of moment in Gabi’s life where we get to see them with no sort of filters—and the filmmaker is quite sensitive to this,” Bannister continued. “It’s very thoughtful in how they portray this inner conflict. It’s just, in my opinion, a beautiful documentary on the evolution of Gabi’s process informing their gender.” Fortunately, Gabi’s family is “super supportive”, according to Bannister. Yet the youth still has a difficult path to navigate. It’s not the only film focusing on LGBT+

issues at Reel 2 Real. In the program of shorts in the Love, Laugh, Sex category for people from grades 8 to 12, there’s ”Girls Shouldn’t Walk Alone at Night (Les filles ne marchent pas seules la nuit)”, which features two French Canadians, Chantal and Delphine, walking home alone at night and getting lost in a forest. Two other films in the Love, Laugh, Sex program with LGBT+ themes are the Australian short “Beautiful They” and the Swedish short “The Night Train (Nattåget)”. “Beautiful They”, directed by Cloudy Rhodes, is described on the Reel 2 Real website as “a queer surf-romance…inviting reflection on the nuance of gender and the refuge found in being truly seen”. Jerry Carlsson’s “The Night Train (Nattåget)” features two youths, Oskar and Ahmad, who are riding a night train and exchange glances. “It’s typically not the case that different sexualities are reflected with such nuance and sensitivity,” Bannister said. “So I wanted to build a program that was able to address that quite directly.” There’s also a Russian film in the program, “First-Time Sex Rules (Правила первого секса)”, directed by Polina Kondrateva, about high schoolers who sneak into a hotel room. Bannister felt it was “imperative to continue supporting Russian artists” with whom Reel 2 Real had made a commitment. “It would not be aligned to our festival values to remove the Russian film,” Bannister said. There’s another Russian film in the Move and Connect program, which is also recommended for people from grades 8 to 12. “We Will Become Better”, directed by Andzej Gavriss, features two male lovers who dance, separated by distance, in a country that outlaws homosexuality. “Because their love is queer, they obviously can’t experience that in public in Russia,” Bannister said. There’s also the Canadian premiere of a Ukrainian feature, Stop-Zemlia, directed by

Kyiv-based Kateryna Gornostai. It includes a range of gender-diverse characters dealing with relatable issues that youth were facing in Ukraine before the Russian invasion. “What I think I like most about the film is it doesn’t shy away from tackling something as difficult as suicide and self-harm, which, I think, in this moment of history, is something that’s on the minds of a lot of young people,” Bannister said. “It’s a difficult thing, growing up in a world like we’re growing up in. I think this film really addresses that with sensitivity and care.” This year, the Reel 2 Real festival is encouraging viewers to donate to the Red Cross’s Ukrainian Relief, the Ukrainian Canadian Congress, and Maple Hope Foundation.

Scan to conffess

The fest opens with Stephen Campanelli’s Drinkwater, which is a coming-ofage comedy set in Penticton and starring Eric McCormack, Daniel Doheny, and Louriza Tronco as the girl next door. “I think what I found most interesting about this film is it plays on the tropes of the ’80s and the toxic masculinity that revolved around that era,” Bannister said. “It recalibrates how we can talk about masculinity because these characters are really emotional.” g The Reel 2 Real International Film Festival for Youth runs from April 3 to 13 with in-person screenings at the Roundhouse and Vancity Theatre, as well as virtual screenings.

The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

Lizard People I’ve written the only confession using the word ‘kimchi’. I’ve also written the only confession using the word ‘enchilada’. Now, how the hell with over a decade of confessions has the rest of Vancouver not ever thought about these two essential things??? Sometimes I think my life is the Truman show.

Am I making mistakes? I am back at the job I have once grown tired of and been done with, and moving to somewhere I or any of my friends have never lived. The job will make my life easier although it is a tough job with more responsibilities, and the place I found got a warm homey feeling to it which was the reason I wanted it although some people ask me why when it adds more time to commute. I am not sure if I am or will be happy with these decisions anymore. I doubt every decision I make these days.

Typo I recently got back in touch with a colleague and found out I’ve been sending text messages to the wrong number (off by one digit) for 2 years... The person that actually owns that number probably blocked me after the first text / maybe thought I was a scammer and never told me I had the wrong number. Damn.

The Last of the Phone-less I’m the last one alive. The last person on earth that doesn’t have a cell phone. 10 years ago it was kind of novel to be phone-less. But now it’s mostly inconvenient. Certain banking options are unavailable to me. Some restaurants won’t serve me without a phone for their digital menus. But I’m not giving up!

Visit

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CHILL.

Enjoy stress-free reading without the noise on CreatorNews.

ARTS | CULTURE | LIFESTYLE ,QWURGXFLQJ WKH ŦUVW QHZV DJJUHJDWRU GHGLFDWHG WR WKH DUWV JOREDO FXOWXUH OLIHVW\OH DQG FUHDWLYH QHZV /HDYH GLYLVLYH SROLWLFV FULPH DQG IDNH QHZV EHKLQG ZLWK H[SHUWO\ FXUDWHG UHOD[LQJ UHDGV

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MUSIC / SAVAGE LOVE

Years after Pluto, John Ounpuu returns as EFTM

by Mike Usinger

music for the first time. Watching Radiohead play that album in its entirety. It was just jawdropping. So inspiring. But also it kind of made me want to give up entirely.

hat’s In Your Fridge is where the Straight asks interesting Vancouverites about their life-changing concerts, favourite albums, and, most importantly, what’s sitting beside the Heinz ketchup in their custom-made Big Chill Retropolitan 20.6-cubic-foot refrigerators.

TOP THREE RECORDS

The Beatles, Revolver It all goes back to the Beatles for me. I’ve been obsessed since I was a kid. There are things I love about all of their records, but to me Revolver is just a perfect thing. The peak of their mid period. Fantastic songwriting. Hooks for days. Great energy. Great playing. Hints of psychedelia creeping in around the edges. It’s got it all. It’s the template.

ON THE GRILL

John Ounpuu

WHO ARE YOU

Back in the ’90s I was in a Vancouverbased band called Pluto. We had songs on the radio and drove around in a van a lot. When the brand broke up I mostly stepped away from doing music. And stayed that way for the last 20 years or so. But that’s changing now and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m releasing a new EP as Earth From The Moon on the 3rd of June. It’s called Momentum. I hope you like it. FIRST CONCERT

I saw Robert Plant at the Pacific Coliseum when I was 14 years old. This was in October of 1983. He would have been supporting his second solo album, Principle of Moments. There are a couple of songs on the record that I still love. “Big Log” is great. At that point I had been a huge Zeppelin head for a few years, so it was a real thrill to see him in the flesh. My friend Ron and I woke up early and lined up at the Ticketmaster in the mall to buy tickets. We got seats right up front on the floor—which we ended up standing on top of all night as we craned our wee necks for a glimpse of those famous curly locks. Phil Collins played drums on that

The Beatles, Amarena cherries, and Led Zep are a few of John Ounpuu’s favourite things.

tour and I remember him coming out from behind his kit to play the vibes part on “Big Log”. They sold printed programs and I know I bought one. I wonder what happened to it. LIFE-CHANGING CONCERT

When Pluto was signed to Virgin we got invited to this industry showcase event in Vancouver. This was 1997. It was in this weird club in the Plaza of Nations. The 86 Street Music Hall. It was put on by EMI to showcase two upcoming releases. One was the first Foo Fighters record. Dave and the boys did a solid job. And the other was OK Computer. This was a couple of months before it came out. All of the jaded music-business types hung back and played it cool so I ended up right in front of this small stage hearing this

New Order, Power, Corruption & Lies I played this tape in my Walkman until it wore out. As an angsty teenager trudging through the Vancouver rain and waiting for a bus back to the burbs, there was no better soundtrack (though the Smiths came very close). It’s dark and moody music in places, but there’s a lot more to it than that. You can dance to it. “Your Silent Face” might be my favourite song ever. It’s the reason I own a melodica (which appears on the EP). Teenage Fanclub, Bandwagonesque When this came out in 1991, I was listening to a lot of noisy guitar music. Dinosaur Jr. and things like that. I heard this album and suddenly I could see a clear line between modern music and the Beatles. The band felt like kindred spirits to me. They made me want to write my own music. They made it seem possible and exciting. Pound for pound, their album Songs From Northern Britain may be stronger. But this is one where I fell in love.

ALL-TIME FAVOURITE VIDEO

Dijon, “Big Mike’s” I have been obsessed with this video lately. It’s not a typical music vid in that it’s a live performance that’s been staged and captured. Dijon is such a talented artist and he’s really just getting started. The version of this song on the record is great. But there is something really magic about this video. It captures, better than almost anything I’ve seen, the sheer joy of creating music. That joy is what drew me back to music after 20 years. It’s a powerful thing. If you want to understand that power, watch this video. WHAT’S IN YOUR FRIDGE?

Too many avocados. I love guacamole deeply and I am not afraid to admit it. There’s actually a balloon on the cover of my EP that’s kind of shaped like an avocado. I just realized that while writing this. Frozen salmon poke from Costco. It’s not the most amazing poke you’ll ever have but damn is it convenient. Pull an individual portion out of the freezer to defrost and you’ve got a bowl of happy to look forward to. The avocados come in handy here as well. Amarena cherries in syrup. Some of your finer cocktail bars will put these in an Old Fashioned. So you get to enjoy the tasty cocktail and then you get to enjoy the tasty cherry after. A double win. You fish it out of the ice cubes and it’s like a prize you just won. Eventually I started asking bartenders to plop a few on a side plate for me to nibble on. I was hooked. The texture of these things is amazing. Firm but also tender. I once tried an amarena cherry gelato at Bella Gelateria. It was tremendous. g

Lukewarm lover cools off lust of trauma survivor by Dan Savage

Dan advises a reader who has spent four years healing from sexual assault that she should lower her standards for sex partners to begin her reentry to dating. Photo by Getty/Fizkes.

b I’M A 28-YEAR-OLD queer woman. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, as it was impossible for me to make a physical or emotional connection with anyone after I was raped four years ago. I finally found a very, very, very nice fella. He’s 36 years old, and pretty basic. He’s a cis white man who isn’t into anal, which is good, not too good at oral, which is bad, with a medium-to-low sex drive and an average-to-good cock. Here’s the problem: I like the warm feelings of love and lust I’m finally experiencing after a long time, but I am nevertheless unsatisfied with him. There are so many things that I feel he is lacking. We don’t share fantasies; he doesn’t take the initiative; there’s no sense of seductiveness; and the cunnilingus is underwhelming.

I’ve talked to him about it, and he listens; he says he hears me, but he does not implement any of my suggestions. Instead, he tells me to focus on the things that are wonderful about our relationship rather than what’s lacking. Maybe I’m being too critical and should try to focus on the positive. Or should I leave him and go find an idealized sex god who may or may not be out there? - Idealized Dick Katharsis

PS My question requires a thoughtful response, not a savage answer. So maybe I should talk to my psychologist and not to you? importantly, I’m so sorry you were raped. I’m glad you sought professional help, IDK, and I’m happy to hear

First and most

MARCH 31 – APRIL 7 / 2022

see next page

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

from previous page years ago and haven’t dated anyone since. you feel ready to start making connections Easing back into sex, dating, and relationagain after taking four years off to heal. And ships with a nice fella who isn’t great but I’m gonna go out on a limb here to say you isn’t awful… Yeah, that might be just what don’t have to choose between talking with you need. Not forever, IDK, but for now. So, don’t move in with this guy, don’t me about this and talking to your psycholomake any promises, and don’t stay in gist. You can talk to both of us. Zooming out for a second, I’ve always this relationship one minute longer than thought of this column (and my podcast) you want to. When you’re ready to end as a conversation I’m having with Heart friends of Richmond it—when - AIDS Society you’re ready to go searching for a confidential support group for persons an idealized sex god—then you BCcan and about our love and/or sex livesoperates after we’d or persons Parkinson Society with HIV/AIDS, affected offers over 50 volunteer-led support groups friends an or care givers) by the disease. should end it. You’re not going have had a few drinks. (Or, these days,(family, shared throughout BC. These provideto people with a For info - 604-277-5137 Parkinson's, their carepartners & families an relationship with edible.) Friends are there to listen, towww.heartofrichmond.com chal- successful long-term opportunity to meet in a friendly, supportive setting this guy, IDK, with butothers you have a difficulsuclenge us, and to call us on our bullshit.IBDAnd who could are experiencing similar Virtual Support Group ties. Some groups may offer exercise support. from chalCrohn's diseasecessful or ulcerativeshort-term colitis? relationship with him. friends are there to be heard, Suffer to be For information on locating a support group Living with inflammatory bowel disease can be you, please PSBC at take not alone! back tonearsex andcontact dating, lenged, and to be called on their overwhelming, bullshit. but you'reWelcome 604 662 3240 or toll free 1 800 668 3330. Gastrointestinal Society holds a free IBD of yourself, and feel free to write me But friends aren’t pros. When support itThecomes group viato Zoom oncare the 3rd Wed of each RECOVERY International month at 7:00we pm. Patients, families, and anytime. the kind of trauma experienced,caregivers ideally, FEAR? DEPRESSION? PANIC ATTACKS? are welcome. For more information, Feelings that keep you from really living your life? email info@badgut.org. would seek help from a pro and—when we A way out is where we come in. AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS Weekly meetings. Call for in info: Canwere for drinking it—advice from our friends. b I’M A 32-YEAR-OLD poly woman Doesready someone else's bother you? Is your life affected by someone else's drug use? 9am - 5pm Kathy 778-554-1026 help. Nar-Anonas Family Group Meeting. And asAl-Anon yourcansupportive friend, IDK, ada. Last spring and summer, I worked a We are a support group for those who have Call the Volunteer 24hr Information line at Addicts been affected by another's drinking problem. your thoughtful friend, I would604-878-8844 advise you contract hours awayAnonymous from where for a list of meeting locationsjob and a few Sex 12-step fellowship of men & women who share For more information please call: 604-688-1716 times. (This number is not monitored) to stop thinking forever and instead con- I live, and I wastheirhooking up with of experience, strength and hope one with each www.naranonbc.com Anorexics & Bulimics Anonymous other, that they may solve their common problem centrate onpeernow. my coworkers, who is a 40-year-old poly 12 Step based support program which and help others recover from their sexual Nar-Anon 604-878-8844 addresses the mental, addiction.Membership is open togreat all who desire Basically, IDK,emotional, you’re& looking at this guy man. He’s great, and we had sex.to spiritual aspects of disordered eating stop addictive sexual behaviour. For a meeting list Join a FREE YWCA Single Mothers and asking yourself, “Is he the right guy When I started asto have romantic Tuesdays @ 7 pm @ Avalon Women's Centre well as email & more phone contacts go to our support group in your local community. 5957 West Blvd - 604-263-7177 www.saavancouver.org Sharequestion information, experiences and resources. forever?” And the answer to that feelings for him, hewebsite. made it clear that he Child care is provided for a nominal fee. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS - Vancouver, BC Battered Women'sno. Support Services is, obviously, If you were with this guy was polysaturated and didn’t want to be in For information call 604-895-5789 For those desiring their own sexual sobriety, please provides free daytime & evening support groups or Email: smacdonald@ywcavan.org go to www.sa.org (Drop-ins & 10 week you groups)married for women abused by forever—if a guy who wasn’t a relationship with me. for meetings times and places. We are here to help you from being overwhelmed. their intimate partner. Groups provide emotional Join Our Support, Education that great bed &and refused to listen to Now that winterNewcomers is ending, I’mwelcomed. about to are gratefully support, legalin information advocacy, Call toll free 866-424-8777 & Action Group safety and planning, and referrals. feedback make changes—you would be go back and start working near him again. Women who experienced any For more information please call: 604-687-1867 formto of male violence. unhappy in the long run. You’d never get I talked to him recently, and he is eager to CALL Vancouver Rape Relief & Women's Shelter act on those fantasies; you’d never get sekeep hooking up, but he made it clear— 604-872-8212 duced the way want; you’ll neverTheget eaten Friends again—that he doesn’t want more than Compassionate (TCF) Burnaby TCF is a grief support group for parents who have the way you want. But if instead of asking feel experienced the loss of athat. child, atIany age. conf licted because while I really Meet the last Wednesday the monthto at 7:00 p.m. having sex with this guy, I’m yourself, “Is he the right guy forever?” you of want keep For location call Grace: 778-222-0446 were to ask yourself, “Is he right guy for Not Walk scared "We Need Alone" of getting hurt. Even if I go in with compassionatecircle@hotmail.com now?”, the answer might be different. the intention of having casual sex, there’s a Burnaby@TCFCanada.net www.tcfcanada.net You had a traumatic experience four chance I might fall in love with him, and he

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has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be with me. Do you have any suggestions for how I can enjoy this guy and the great sex without getting too attached? - Constantly Amazing Sex, Unwilling About Love

Nope.

Catching feelings for someone isn’t a conscious choice we make, CASUAL, and, typically, by the time we start worrying that we might be catching feelings for someone, it’s too late—feelings have already been caught. The only thing we can do if we’re worried that we might catch feelings for someone or have already caught feelings for someone is to stop seeing that person, CASUAL, in the hopes that their absence (or someone else’s presence) will make those feelings go away. But if the sex is great and the risk of heartbreak is worth it, no one would blame you for continuing to fuck this polysaturated guy. (Funny he can find the time to fuck you on the regular but doesn’t have the bandwidth to date you, not even a little bit.) But go in with your eyes open: if you keep fucking this guy, CASUAL, you’re gonna get more and more attached to him. You’re gonna catch more and more feelings, and then wind up getting hurt in the end.

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They can’t all be winners. So, to you and everyone else who wrote to tell me my advice for TITE was off the mark, CHAT, Massage I wanna say: you guys were right; I was wrong. Thanks for calling me on my bullshit, friends. g

b I ENJOY YOUR column and I think your advice is usually spot-on; however, your advice to TITE last week—the man who wanted to end things with his FWB—was Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage! Email: Massage not good. You encouraged TITE to lie to questions@savagelove.net. Listen to Dan on the their fuck buddy by saying that their part- Savage Lovecast! Columns, podcasts, books, ner wants to close things up. merch, and more at www.savage.love!

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That’s terrible advice. Not the lying, Dan, but the blaming it on the partner. First of all, that lie makes the partner the villain even though they had no part in this, so TITE is lying to one person and lying about another! Second, it’s just setting everyone up to get bitten in the ass— and not in the good way. Suppose TITE is out some time with someone other than his partner and his former fuck buddy happens to see him? I get wanting to spare someone’s feelings, but at some point we have to take responsibility for our relationship, including the ending of them. Using, “Oh, my partner wants to close things up,” is the ENM version of a woman saying, “I have a boyfriend,” to get some guy to stop harassing her (except that in that case it is sometimes necessary for safety). Now, if TITE wants to get their partner’s permission to use them as an excuse, at least then they’re not lying to two people. But, really, isn’t a better solution to have clear and honest communication and treat everyone as an adult?

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