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from previous page identity cops out there with the power to make arrests or issue fines. There are only people who might find your shit annoying.
In the case of your specific shit, ALLI, some lesbians are gonna find it annoying— extremely annoying—but annoyed lesbians can’t prevent you from self-identifying as a lesbian any more than annoyed Slate writers can prevent Louis C.K. from selling out stadiums. No one can cancel him; no one can gatekeep you.
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b I’VE BEEN FLIRTING with this guy from my class. He’s four years older and seems very into drugs and certain subcultures, but he also maintains an active social media persona. We’re planning on going out, but I already know that he would fit into an unhealthy pattern of mine: guys who aren’t sure what they want and are reluctant to make commitments.
Do I just enjoy the sex that could occur? Or do I steer clear to protect myself? requests, explicit or otherwise.
From here on out, WTFWT, make demands. Unambiguous, unequivocal demands. And go get tested.
b CIS, MARRIED, STRAIGHT man here. You’re
- Should I Fuck This Intriguing New Guy? Depends. After identifying this unhealthy pattern—your propensity for getting attached to guys who aren’t sure what they want and/ or can’t commit—have you been able to enjoy sex without allowing yourself to get attached to guys with commitment issues? If the answer is yes, SIFTING, if you can trust yourself not to catch feelings for someone, then go ahead and fuck this guy. But if the answer is no—if you can’t fuck a guy without catching feelings— then don’t fuck this guy. b I’M A THIRTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD cis woman living in the South. Dating here is a nightmare. It feels like everyone got married at 22 and is super into Jesus. I just broke up with someone and got back on the apps, and the first date I went on was amazing. Really cool liberal, age-appropriate dude with a similar sense of humor. I had so much fun, and we exchanged numbers. And then… nothing. I bit the bullet and followed up and still haven’t heard anything.
At what point do I write this guy off as a ghost? And how do I deal with the utter disappointment of being ghosted by a dude I really connected with? - Ghosts Are Horrible I took a call on the Savage Lovecast last week from a woman who was angry about being ghosted by a man—a neighbour whose front door she had to walk past every day—and then she saw the coroner wheeling the guy’s dead body out of his apartment on a gurney. Like the meme says, “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
As for your battle, GAH, look on the bright side. The first date you went on after getting back on the apps went pretty well! There was no second date, and that’s too bad, and assuming he isn’t dead, it was rude of him to ghost on you like that. But if there was one guy in your area you could have an amazing first date with (even if it went nowhere), GAH, it’s not unreasonable to assume there are other guys in your area you could have equally amazing first dates with (dates that might go somewhere). b I DATED SOMEONE recently for a few weeks and had sex. It was unprotected, and I found out immediately after that he had herpes. I was annoyed because I had condoms next to the bed. But I also felt partly responsible since we didn’t have a discussion first. He wound up having a breakout a few days later.
We continued dating and used condoms after that until one night when I was high on edibles and he didn’t use a condom. This was after he asked me earlier if I felt comfy going without condoms again and I explicitly requested condoms. We aren’t together now, but it feels really fucked up. He seemed like the nicest person. - What The Fuck Was That What that was, WTFWT, was fucked up. And that guy wasn’t nice. There’s not a lot you can do about it now besides learning from the experience. First, don’t drop hints. Don’t put condoms on the nightstand and hope the other person takes the hint and uses a condom. Tell the other person the condoms are there to be used and that if there isn’t one on his dick, his dick isn’t getting anywhere near your hole/holes—and if his dick gets near your hole without a condom on it, or if the condom should magically disappear after his dick is in your hole, you’ll be filing a police report. And, second, don’t make
my gay crush. Given the chance, how would you seduce me? I’ve never had man sex before, because I really like pussy and the way women feel, but I think I could do it for you. You’ve always been my celeb “man-pass”. How can we get this started? I’m just a straight guy writing to a gay guy, asking him to fuck him. IBD Virtual Support Group - Lusting After Dan Suffer from Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis?
Living with inflammatory bowel disease can be overwhelming, but you're not alone! Straight guys who make passes at gay men asThe Gastrointestinal Society holds a free IBD support group via Zoom on the 3rd Wed of each sume we’re all going to think, “OMG, this is month at 7:00 pm. Patients,families, and caregiversare welcome. For more information, my one chance to sleep with a real man!” In email info@badgut.org. Is your life affected by someone else's drug use? Nar-Anon Family Group Meeting. Call the Volunteer 24hr Information line at Dan advises an AMAB reader who identifies as nonbinary and leans “toward femininity” that they can self-identify as a lesbian because there are no identity cops out there. Photo by Paul Bradbury/Getty . reality, LAD, what most gay men are thinking when a straight guy hits on us is, “Jesus Christ, this dude is gonna shit all over my dick.” Now, 604-878-8844 for a list of meeting locations and that thought doesn’t stop some gay men from times. (This number is not monitored) www.naranonbc.com Nar-Anon 604-878-8844 sleeping with straight-identified guys who are bi or gay and closeted, LAD, nor does it stop some gay men from sleeping with the rare straight-but-situationally-heteroflexible guy with a very specific crush on one of us. But it’s always annoying when a straight guy assumes his straightness is an aphrodisiac that drives gay men wild and asks questions like, “Given the chance, how would you seduce me?” That
AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS Does someone else's drinking bother you? framing assumes I would try, or would want
Al-Anon can help. We are a support group for those who have been affected by another's drinking problem. to try, if I had the chance. So you could say I’m just a gay guy re-
For more information please call: 604-688-1716 sponding to a straight guy, asking him to get over himself. * A shout-out to all the asexual lesbians, who are attracted to other women romantically but not sexually, and to all the aromantic lesbians, who are attracted to other women sexually but not romantically. I see you and your pride flags; I am familiar with your anime avatars; and I affirm the validity of your lesbianism. g Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. Get Dan’s podcast at www.savage.love. Email: questions@ savagelove.org.
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Sex Addicts Anonymous 12-step fellowship of men & women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from their sexual addiction.Membership is open to all who desire to stop addictive sexual behaviour. For a meeting list as well as email & phone contacts go to our website. www.saavancouver.org
IBD Virtual Support Group
Suffer from Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis? Living with inflammatory bowel disease can be overwhelming, but you're not alone! The Gastrointestinal Society holds a free IBD support group via Zoom on the 3rd Wed of each month at 7:00 pm. Patients,families, and caregiversare welcome. For more information,
email info@badgut.org. Is your life affected by someone else's drug use?
Nar-Anon Family Group Meeting. Call the Volunteer 24hr Information line at 604-878-8844 for a list of meeting locations and times. (This number is not monitored)
www.naranonbc.com Nar-Anon 604-878-8844
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For those desiring their own sexual sobriety, please go to www.sa.org for meetings times and places. AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS We are here to help you from being overwhelmed.
Does someone else's drinking bother you? Newcomers are gratefully welcomed. Al-Anon can help. Call toll free 866-424-8777
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Join a FREEYWCA Single Mothers support group in your local community. Share information, experiences and resources. Child care is provided for a nominal fee. For information call 604-895-5789 or Email: smacdonald@ywcavan.org Join Our Support, Education & Action Group Women who experienced any form of male violence. CALL Vancouver Rape Relief & Women's Shelter 604-872-8212 RECOVERY International FEAR? DEPRESSION? PANIC ATTACKS? Feelings that keep you from really living your life? A way out is where we come in. Weekly meetings. Call for info: 9am -5pm Kathy 778-554-1026
Sex Addicts Anonymous
12-step fellowship of men & women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from their sexual addiction.Membership is open to all who desire to stop addictive sexual behaviour. For a meeting list as well as email & phone contacts go to our website. www.saavancouver.org Bodywork
SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS -Vancouver, BC
For those desiring their own sexual sobriety, please go to www.sa.org for meetings times and places. We are here to help you from being overwhelmed. Newcomers are gratefully welcomed.
Call toll free 866-424-8777
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Beatles Tribute Band
Drummer with lots of experience in tribute bands (Stones, Zeppelin, Beatles) seeks to form Beatles Tribute Band. Ability to sing and harmonize a must, as is vaccination. Call or text 778-628-6240 for more information, including a set list for first rehearsals.
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PUBLIC NOTICE October 31, 2021 TAKE NOTICE THAT; PUBLIC NOTICE October 31, 2021 TAKE NOTICE THAT; anyone with an equal, prior or superior equitable anyone with an equal, prior or superior equitable or legal right or interest in/to/for/of the Title: or legal right or interest in/to/for/of the Title:DECLE, JESSE HY RATNER in any style variation DECLE, JESSE HY RATNER in any style variation thereof capable to confuse, suspend or clog said thereof capable to confuse, suspend or clog said Title, right or interest in/to/for Title is HEREBY Title, right or interest in/to/for Title is HEREBY REQUESTED to present their claim to witness:
REQUESTED to present their claim to witness: Jesse Hy Ratner-Decle, c/o 1159, Queen Street
Jesse Hy Ratner-Decle, c/o 1159, Queen Street West, Toronto, Ontario, before expiration of West, Toronto, Ontario, before expiration of thirty days of this publication. thirty days of this publication. EMPLOYMENT Personal Services EMPLOYMENT Personal Services
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