W I N T E R
2 0 2 0
The
Tipping Point The biggest barrier to being our best selves? Stress. While we’ve all been given advice on how best to manage it, the real way to properly address stress might actually be to change our perspective... WORDS SARAH RAPHAEL
‘S
tressed’ and ‘stressful’ is all too often the answer when friends ask how we are and how our work is. It’s a word that has no place in the polished versions of ourselves that we project online. We post our awards, public-speaking engagements, thriving social life and holiday snaps, but the physical and emotional burden that comes with maintaining this ‘best self’ is kept out of shot. ‘Stressed’ has a negative visual, rarely said with a smile by someone who feels they are thriving at work and that everything is going well. Those people are undoubtedly also experiencing stress - just the positive effects of it. So how do we transition from a negatively stressed person to a positively stressed one, without undergoing a personality transplant or some sort of transcendental therapy at a retreat in Peru?
Stress is the body’s natural response to stimulus requiring our attention or action. Positive stress is sometimes referred to as ‘eustress’ from the Greek ‘eu’, meaning good. When it’s working for us, stress helps us rise to the challenge, makes us feel excited and focused, leading to a sense of satisfaction when the task is completed. When it’s working against us, we feel exhausted, overwhelmed, irritable, perhaps a bit ill from sleeping problems, headaches or feeling our stomach is tied in knots. To counter these symptoms, we might drink more, go out for a cigarette, and cancel exercise classes or social plans because they seem like a waste of precious time. In psychology, negative stress is sometimes referred to as ‘distress’ - “when a person faces continuous challenges without relief or relaxation” (Cleveland Clinic). This is when the red flags go up and burnout can occur. “Stressed” was my usual response to “how are you?” and “how is work?”. “It feels like I’m running on a treadmill and someone keeps putting the speed up”, was another. As the editorial director of the fastest growing digital media company for women - with a feisty team of journalists, art directors and creatives reporting to me, and a ‘sky is the limit’ C-suite above me - overwhelmed became my default state. My growth target was 20% month on month. Until when? I thought to myself, suspecting the answer was: until I crashed. Have you ever taken a big job knowing in the back of your mind that you’ll probably be able to handle it for two years, but that’s ok, because by then you’ll have figured out your next move? Only to become so caught up in achieving company targets you forget to plan your next
34
BEST SELF KW.indd 34
22/12/2019 17:24
