The HUB - 052 - The Good Book Company

HUB

To Be a Man Means... What, Exactly?

If you had to grab a pen now, how would you finish this sentence?

“To be a man means...”

Don’t feel awkward if you’re uncertain what to say—most people struggle. It’s actually pretty difficult, isn’t it?

One journalist recently spent a few weeks asking 16-year-old boys in the UK that question. The responses varied:

“You mean Yorkie bars and steel factories, that sort of thing?”

Joel

“Doing what you believe to be right.”

Jesiah

“You stand up for yourself, but you also stand up for others.”

Sonny

“It’s mainly about fitness and strength.”

Matt

“The stereotype’s been put in our heads that we’re supposed to be strong, not meant to allow any emotions, but I don’t agree with that.”

Corrin

“The feeling of a lot of people my age is that to be a man, you have to be able to fight.”

Ty

Sort of Stranded

That’s a shrewd comment from 16-year-old Joel! A lot of young men are indeed “sort of stranded”. In a recent survey, only 2% of men aged 18-24 said they felt completely masculine. Among those over 65 it was 56%. Yes, it’s only a survey, in which “masculinity” was not defined, and so it was a highly subjective self-evaluation. But clearly there are a lot of young men who, like Clement, are “stuck, unsure” about what it means to be a man.

That’s quite a change in a few generations.

No wonder so many men are stuck and unsure about what masculinity should look like. Are we meant to strive for masculinity at all?

“I think many boys my age are stuck, unsure.”

Clement

“I think a lot of mainstream politicians are afraid to really touch on masculinity, in case of maybe saying the wrong thing. And I can understand that. It’s a very difficult thing to talk on. But I think there does need to be a place to be able to say that masculinity’s a good thing. That masculinity can be admirable. Otherwise, we’re just, sort of, just stranded.”

Joel

In the last decade, the cultural mood music of the West has increasingly argued that masculinity is basically bad. A lot of people—men and women—have been hurt by or are angry about their own experience of masculinity. Enter “toxic masculinity” into the search box on Amazon and over 1,000 books will come up with that as a title or theme. In researching for Reclaiming Masculinity, I’ve read a few of these books, and they often contain a sad story of an abusive or absent father and a distant or unemotional or violent form of masculinity. Often there’s anger at the model of masculinity that has been presented to the author. It is clear that something has gone wrong, and a lot of men have abused their strength, leaving a lot of emotionally wounded wives and children, colleagues and friends. It’s in that context that the American Psychological Association has also

now declared that “traditional masculinity”— defined as stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—can be “psychologically harmful”.

I’m sure that a “traditional masculinity” can sometimes be harmful, and I am certainly not here to defend the abuses of the past. And I also want to argue that there’s a difference between that definition of “traditional masculinity” and what we could call “biblical masculinity”. But the type of masculinity the APA defines as traditional and harmful deserves defending for a moment. To say that some traits can be harmful if indulged excessively is not the same as saying that they always are. As I write this, we’re approaching November 11th: Remembrance Day. In the UK, the majority of the population are wearing poppies to commemorate the sacrifice of those people who gave their lives to defend our country and its values. Chiefly, those people were men, and we honour and give thanks for their stoicism and aggression during armed conflict. Clearly, then, these traits are not always bad. Competitiveness can be useful in driving innovation. If I’m in a building that’s on fire, I’d like the firefighter to assert some dominance and order me around. So-called “masculine traits” can surely be good or bad, beneficial or abused, depending upon the context and how they are used.

#Shame

Nevertheless, there have without doubt been exposed in recent years some ugly expressions of masculinity that we should recoil from. There are indeed many men who should be ashamed

“It’s mainly about fitness and strength.”

Matt

TO BE A MAN MEANS... WHAT, EXACTLY?

of their behaviour. Perhaps we need to be slow to assume that we should not be included among them in some way and to some extent.

In the West, the #metoo movement has shone a spotlight on utterly unacceptable and disgraceful forms of sexual assault and harassment by dominant males. Many of the stories that have emerged have been appalling. In the UK, the Everyone’s Invited website presents a vast collection of stories about teenage girls being sexually assaulted and abused by teenage boys. It led to many parents wondering how on earth “their boys” could have behaved in such a way. Understandably, a vast amount was written about what men should not be like, and the cry went up, “We need to educate men how to behave”. The problem was, I didn’t read much by way of positive curriculum.

I was struck by the humorous honesty of one middle-aged male journalist, who wrote:

“What does it mean, then, to say we should educate men? ... With my daughters I know what the positive message is. ‘You can do whatever boys can do and more.’ With boys though? I’d be lost. And I’ve been one for a while now. You’d have thought I’d have figured it out.”

How would you advise him? Should we be telling our sons, and ourselves:

1.“Be more like girls”.

2. “There is no difference between boys and girls”.

My argument is that it’s not enough to say to young men, “Stop acting like that”. We need a positive vision of masculinity. The Bible offers us such a vision. In my book, I outline seven principles that describe a biblical, healthy, confident, helpful masculinity so that you can answer the only question that really matters: what kind of man does God want me to be?

This is an extract adapted from Reclaiming Masculinity by Matt Fuller.

FULL/PART-TIME

FULL/PARTTIMEADMINISTRATOR FORSTPETER

St Peter’s is a welcoming and growing church family of all ages, that aspires to be a gospel-centred community for the heart of Fulham and beyond. Part of the Church of England and Co-Mission planting network.

StPeter’sisawelcomingandgrowingchurchfamilyofallages,thataspirestobeagospel-centredcommunity fortheheartofFulhamandbeyond.PartoftheChurchofEnglandandCo-Missionplantingnetwork.

We are looking for a Church Administrator to provide high quality, proactive, effective and godly administration. The role involves working in close cooperation with the Operations Manager & the rest of the staff team as well as the church family - thus supporting the ministry of St Peter’s.

WearelookingforaChurchAdministratortoprovidehighquality,proactive,effectiveandgodly administration.TheroleinvolvesworkinginclosecooperationwiththeOperationsManager&therestofthe staffteamaswellasthechurchfamily-thussupportingtheministryofStPeter’s.

Theappointmentisideallyafulltimerolethoughthereisflexibilityforapart-timerole.

Salaryrangeforfulltimecandidate:£24-£30kdependingonexperience.

The appointment is ideally a full-time role though there is flexibility for a part-time role. Salary range for full-time candidate: £24-£30k depending on experience.

Thecandidatewillhaveexperienceinsomeofthefollowing:

-Calendarmanagement -Facilitiesmanagement

Matt Fuller puts stereotypes aside to explore what the Bible says is distinctive about being a man and outlines a positive vision of masculinity. Readers will be given confidence and direction to be the men God wants them to be.

Matt Fuller |

The candidate will have experience in some of the following:

• Administration

• Calendar management

• Data entry

• Facilities management

ThecandidatewillbeacommittedChristian,aselfstarter,withgoodorganisationalskillsandbeableto

Forajobdescriptionandanapplicationform,pleasecontact:HannahFolan(OperationsManager)

The candidate will be a committed Christian, a self-starter, with good organisational skills and be able to communicate effectively. For a job description and an application form, please contact: Hannah Folan (Operations Manager) info@stpetersfulham.co.uk

ClosingDateforapplications:Friday28thJuly2023

Closing date for applications: Friday 28th July 2023

AllappointmentsaremadefollowingthesaferrecruitmentprocessrecommendedbytheDioceseofLondon. Successfulcandidateswillbeaskedtosignourstatementoffaith.

All appointments are made following the safer recruitment process recommended by the Diocese of London. Successful candidates will be asked to sign our statement of faith.

Assistant Pastor, Emmanuel Bishopston, Bristol

We are a Church of England church, planted 11 years ago, with around 150 adults and 90 children and young people and belong to the Emmanuel Bristol family of churches.

We’re seeking to appoint someone who loves Jesus and loves pastoring His people. We need help to develop leaders, encourage evangelism and further ministry initiatives.

The role also includes overseeing the joint youth work we run with our sister congregation, Emmanuel Westbury.   This is a significant responsibility and requires a combination of strategic thinking, team management and leadership training for everyone involved.

The closing date for applications is 11th July.  We are flexible on start date.

To find out more about Emmanuel – and details about the role - visit emmanuelbristol.org.uk/jobs

ADMINISTRATOR FOR ST PETER’S FULHAM

£8.99 £7.64

Blenheim House, 1 Blenheim Road

Epsom, Surrey KT19 9AP

What's on this month: Regular sermons from our new church partner, St. David's Forestville in Sydney, Australia!

Ministry Training Course

Primary and Secondary teachers

Part/Full-time

Melville-Knox Christian School, Glasgow is an independent Reformed Christian school serving families in the Glasgow area. We are looking for full and part-time primary and secondary teachers for our growing school.

The successful candidates will need to be committed Christians, members of a church and registered with the GTCS. The school benefits from small class sizes and an excellent teaching and learning environment.

https://glasgow.melville-knox.org.uk/job-vacancy/

Email glasgow@melville-knox.org.uk

HR Manager (part-time)

The Good Book Company is seeking an experienced and proactive HR Manager. The successful applicant will have worked in an HRrelated field for at least 5 years and will help us nurture a positive and supportive working environment and maintain compliance and best practice with our HR policies. They will also understand and respect an evangelical theological perspective.

The position is part-time (2 days per week) and based in our Epsom office. You can find more details at thegoodbook.co.uk/careers, and if you think you’re the person we’re looking for, please send your CV to Kathy Thornborough at kathy@thegoodbook.co.uk

A one-day-a-week course for those who want to understand the Bible better and be equipped to teach it to others.

For more information contact Jane Clark, the Course Administrator: St Bartholomew’s Church, 1 King Edward Road, Oldfield Park, Bath BA2 3PB, 01225 427428, jane@swgp.org.uk www.swgp.org.uk/train

Includes Bible overview, study of different Biblical genres, practical ministry skills, and workshops. Ideal for ministry apprentices, preachers, youth workers, home group leaders, student workers or any Christian who has a desire to grow in their faith. Runs on a Thursday in Bath for 3 ten week terms, costing £225 per term. An optional 2nd year. The next course begins 21st September 2023.

for the Bath, Bristol, Chippenham & Taunton area