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HELP ? Are you and your spouse on the same page?

If you and a partner are experiencing difficulties, it may be time to consider bringing in a professional marriage counselor to help you resolve issues and find some common ground to stand on once more. The goal of marriage counseling is to give you and your partner the tools needed for better communication, improved negotiation, and the ability to argue and problem-solve more healthily. Here are some common reasons you may want to seek counseling:

YOUR PARTNER IS NOT LISTENING In the heat of an argument, it can be easy to focus on what you need to say next, rather than validating your partner’s thoughts and feelings. A marriage counselor can act as a mediator when there are breakdowns in communication, and help both of you develop better listening skills to make sure concerns are heard, aired, and dealt with. 1

YOU KEEP GOING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN Couples have fundamental differences about life, love, and relationships. You and your partner might be going around and around the same mountain, stuck on an issue that you can’t resolve. Every time you revisit it, it seems to get more heated and more hopeless in terms of resolution. 2

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YOU START TO SEEK SUPPORT FROM OTHERS For better, for worse. We take vows in relationships to lean on each other and to see each other through tough times. When you don’t feel that your partner is supportive of you anymore, it can be difficult to turn to them in times of need. If you find yourself seeking outside or different sources of support, or become emotionally attached to others as a means of desiring that connection once more, it’s time to take a good hard look at your relationship. YOU ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING If you can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything, and the smallest things become big issues as the two of you lock horns, it’s time to seek professional help. YOU NEVER, EVER FIGHT On the other hand, not being invested in your relationship means that you don’t care enough to fight. This lack of conflict can be more problematic than constant fighting, for it’s an indicator that you have lost interest in the relationship. Apathy is a true enemy of passion, and your marriage will not survive unless the two of you are a little invested. YOU FACE INTIMACY ISSUES Intimacy is more important than most couples think. Indeed, it can be the glue that holds the two of you together during tough times. Sure, all couples go through occasional dry spells, but if you are sleeping alone for extended periods, this is a signal that some attention needs to be placed on your relationship. 6 5 4 3

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