BALANCING ACT

Caregiving can cause wear and tear on a marriage, especially when it’s a live-in situation. Marital strains, conflicts, tensions, and disagreements can stem from finances, less time together, stress, frustration, fatigue, and resentment. It’s hard to get along when you’re emotionally and physically exhausted from trying to balance everyone’s needs.

Maintaining your marriage while providing the best care possible for your loved one, and not losing your sanity in the process is difficult, but not impossible. The solution to protecting and nurturing your marriage while caregiving lies in patience, understanding, emotional support, and a commitment to working together. Hopefully these ideas will help you achieve a stronger, more intimate relationship than ever.

Remember, your spouse is your number one priority

Presumably, you’ll be spending the rest of your life with your spouse, long after your loved ones are gone. When your relationship is under stress, it’s important for both parties to make your marriage a priority.

Communicate

Honest communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Staying connected helps prevent misunderstandings. Talk with your spouse about how this new role is affecting your relationship and how they can support you.

Adjust your expectations

Unrealistic expectations not only set you up for disappointment, but they also set you up for guilt, bitterness, frustration, and resentment. Set reasonable and realistic expectations for both yourself and your spouse. Remember, they’re doing their best, just like you. Be kind–don’t beat yourself up. When fatigue, anxiety, or aggravation sets in, let yourself feel it. Take a nap, scream into a pillow, write it down in a journal–whatever it takes to let that feeling be felt–then let it go and move on.

Foster “we” time

Fun and romance are often the first things to fly out the window in a marriage, especially under the added stress of family caregiving. Three’s a crowd. Make sure you get some one-on-one, unchaperoned time together to reconnect. Otherwise, your partner will inevitably start to feel neglected.

Seek support

Your partner is your live-in sounding board, but constantly venting your frustrations to them isn’t fair. Connect with others in similar situations online or in-person.

Say “thank you”

Oftentimes, you as the caregiver do not receive a “thank you,” so why would your partner? Make sure your spouse knows how much you appreciate their support by expressing your gratitude.

1. Is the book of James in the Old or New Testament? Or neither?

2. From 2 Samuel 18:18, who erected a memorial to himself because he did not have a son? Was it Onesimus, Absalom, Spartacus or Isaiah?

3. Where is Satan called “the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience”? Is it Galatians 1, Ephesians 2, Colossians 3 or Titus 4?

4. What widowed prophetess was 84 years old on seeing the young Jesus in the temple? Was it Anna, Jezebel, Hagar or Abigail?

5. Which book foretold of the Messiah being born in Bethlehem? Was it Ezra, 1 Kings, Amos or Micah?