3 minute read
Love
LOVE GET BACK ON TRACK
Marriage isn’t always easy. Whether you are in a long-term marriage, or newly married later in life, many couples struggle with communication or get distracted by stress, social media or busy days. Even if a couple has a strong foundation of love and respect, repairing conflict can feel difficult.
It’s helpful to recognize danger signs that might indicate when a couple is becoming distant, and even better to have accessible tools for how to fix this when it happens.
Here are a few signs your relationship needs attention:
1. Sleeping in separate bedrooms
When couples have given up on one another, one partner often moves to a different bedroom. Sometimes this looks innocuous — a partner attributes moving to snoring or restless leg syndrome. Once people get used to sleeping apart, it’s harder to come back together. Sexual contact becomes scarcer and the connection inevitably starts to fade.
What to do: Get back in the same bedroom. If you loathe each other too much to share a bedroom, then it’s time for a therapist. Our bodies crave contact as we sleep to solidify our partner bond. If you really must sleep separately for medical reasons, then at least do daily cuddle dates in one person’s bed.
2. Significant drop in sexual contact
When couples stop having sexual contact, their energy is typically pointed somewhere else. This can be toward themselves, toward juggling stress and fatigue, or toward someone outside of the marriage. Restarting a sex life is difficult because, we tend to avoid it because breaking the ice can feel awkward.
What to do: Break
the ice anyway. Start by coming together in a relaxed way with no agenda for actual sex. Take a bath together. Cuddle in bed. Give a few pecks on the lips and focus on hugging. It may take weeks or even months for contact to build toward more intimacy, but there’s no rush.
3. Preferring quality time by yourself
A subtle but risky sign of a problem is when couples stop spending quality time together — from going on dates, to taking walks, to having sex — and prefer to spend time alone. It essentially signifies a parallel living experience where couples are coexisting without the companionship of a strong marriage.
What to do: Find new, fun outlets together to create shared experiences. Couples will shed a layer of their previous existence as they grow and change through the years. If you’ve grown more apart than together, be intentional about finding new hobbies and activities to create togetherness.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT ANSWERS
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