Love

LOVE

STRONGER TOGETHER

Resolutions couples should make

This time of year, it’s natural to focus inward, thinking about healthy new habits, self-improvement and professional advancement. Consider channeling part of that New Year’s spirit into your bond with your partner, resolving to not just spend more time together—but to do it all better, with these easy tips for improving a relationship at any age or stage.

Ask more questions

And pay attention to the answers. Resolving to be more inquisitive helps both of you: You become more engaged (“Why was that meeting so stressful?” “How could you make that project a little more fun?”), and the give-and-take pushes you to be thoughtful about your own day.

Turn complaints into questions

Before you blurt out exactly what’s on your mind—“You golf so much, I never see you!”—think about your intent. What are you trying to say? In this case, say you want to spend more down time with your partner. Then put yourself in his shoes. Rather than hearing a complaint, wouldn’t you rather hear, “I miss you! I’ve been feeling lonely.” He may not immediately solve the problem of golfing too much, but asking him more about the situation starts a conversation.

Talk a little less, and touch more

Sound counterintuitive? The thing is, for couples that have a hard time communicating their emotions, a big hug can go a long way. Resolve to hold hands every time you watch TV or hug each other every morning or evening—or both.

Take a break mid-fight to say “I Love You”

It might be the last thing on your mind, but when things get heated, try to get those words out. Instead of ratcheting up emotion, you can diffuse it. Those words remind you both of the big picture. And in the cool-down period afterward, you know everything’s going to be good.

Compliment more than you nag

Try to keep feedback of all sorts balanced. Better yet, keep things more heavily weighted in the positive. It’s easy, especially as the years go by, to forget to thank your partner for the little things he’s always done. If you catch yourself doling out criticism, remind yourself to verbalize compliments and appreciation as well.

Let it go

In every committed relationship, there are things one party might like—no, love—to change. Maybe it makes you crazy that your husband leaves his water glass on the table or leaves the lights on. Let it go. To gain a little perspective, imagine what your life would be like if the water glass wasn’t there (and neither is he). When you think of it like that, those annoying little things aren’t that hard to let go.