BALANCING ACT

Caregiving can cause wear and tear on a marriage, especially when it’s a live-in situation. Marital strains, conflicts, tensions, and disagreements can stem from finances, less time together, stress, frustration, fatigue, and resentment. It’s hard to get along when you’re emotionally and physically exhausted from trying to balance everyone’s needs.

Maintaining your marriage while providing the best care possible for your loved one, and not losing your sanity in the process is difficult, but not impossible. The solution to protecting and nurturing your marriage while caregiving lies in patience, understanding, emotional support, and a commitment to working together. Hopefully these ideas will help you achieve a stronger, more intimate relationship than ever.

Remember, your spouse is your number one priority

Presumably, you’ll be spending the rest of your life with your spouse, long after your loved ones are gone. When your relationship is under stress, it’s important for both parties to make your marriage a priority.

Communicate

Honest communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Staying connected helps prevent misunderstandings. Talk with your spouse about how this new role is affecting your relationship and how they can support you.

Adjust your expectations

Unrealistic expectations not only set you up for disappointment, but they also set you up for guilt, bitterness, frustration, and resentment. Set reasonable and realistic expectations for both yourself and your spouse. Remember, they’re doing their best, just like you. Be kind–don’t beat yourself up. When fatigue, anxiety, or aggravation sets in, let yourself feel it. Take a nap, scream into a pillow, write it down in a journal–whatever it takes to let that feeling be felt–then let it go and move on.

Foster “we” time

Fun and romance are often the first things to fly out the window in a marriage, especially under the added stress of family caregiving. Three’s a crowd. Make sure you get some one-on-one, unchaperoned time together to reconnect. Otherwise, your partner will inevitably start to feel neglected.

Seek support

Your partner is your live-in sounding board, but constantly venting your frustrations to them isn’t fair. Connect with others in similar situations online or in-person.

Say “thank you”

Oftentimes, you as the caregiver do not receive a “thank you,” so why would your partner? Make sure your spouse knows how much you appreciate their support by expressing your gratitude.

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Beverage Club

Honey Deuce

Ingredients

Crushed ice

3 oz. lemonade

1 1/4 oz. vodka

1/2 oz. raspberry liqueur

Honeydew, for garnish

Directions

Fill a Collins glass with crushed ice. Top with lemonade, vodka, and raspberry liqueur and gently stir to combine. Using a melon baller, scoop 3 balls of honeydew and slide them onto a skewer.

Top drink with skewered melon balls.

Summer Shandy

Ingredients

2 lemons, thinly sliced

2 limes, thinly sliced (save a few slices for garnish)

1 apple, sliced

1 c. blueberries

1 (12-oz.) can ginger beer

2 (12-oz.) bottles wheat beer (like Hoegaarden)

1 c. lemonade

1/2 c. seltzer

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a large pitcher (or a large bowl) and stir. Chill for 2 hours, or until cold. Serve with lime slices for garnish.

Crossword Solution

FROM PAGE 28

BLUEBERRY GINN & TONIC

Ingredients

1 c. fresh or frozen blueberries

2 tbsp. granulated sugar

1 tbsp. water

Ice

3 oz. gin

12 oz. tonic water

Lime wedges, for serving

Directions

In a small saucepan over medium heat, bring blueberries, granulated sugar, and water to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook, stirring often, until most blueberries have burst, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a small bowl and refrigerate until chilled. Divide 4 tbsp. blueberry syrup between 2 ice-filled glasses. Add gin and top with tonic water. Add more blueberry syrup or tonic water to taste. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Onions are the only commodity banned from futures trading in America.

Some New York City taxis are actually undercover cop cars.

When George Washington died, Napoleon Bonaparte gave a personal eulogy and ordered a 10-day mourning period for France.

Persian King Agha Mohammad Khan ordered the execution of two servants for being too loud. Since it was a holy day, he postponed the event for 24 hours and made the servants return to their duties. It turned out to be an unfortunate decision, as they murdered the ruler in his sleep that very night.

People are 30 times more likely to laugh at something if they’re with someone else.

Platypuses may be cute, but are also so odd-looking that when scientists first discovered them, they thought the animal was a hoax.

The man for whom Mount Everest was named, George Everest, didn’t want the honor, pointing out that his name was difficult to write or pronounce in Hindi and that all previous Himalayan peaks were officially given indigenous names.

Clint Eastwood, who turned 93 on May 31, is set to direct his 41st feature film. Eastwood’s directorial debut was “Play Misty for Me,” 52 years ago, in 1971. His next film, “Juror #2,” has Gabriel Basso (of Netflix’s “Night Agent”) as the title juror, along with Nicholas Hoult, Toni Collette, Kiefer Sutherland and Zoey Deutch. “Juror #2” has a serious moral dilemma, in that he could sway the jury’s verdict either way.

Robert De Niro must be crazy about fatherhood. In 1976, he had a son with his wife, Diahnne Abbott, and adopted her daughter, Drena. He was in a relationship with Toukie Smith from 1988 to 1996, which produced twin sons. In 1997, he married Grace Hightower, and they had a son and a daughter via surrogate. He has four grandchildren, and this year, he revealed he recently had a seventh child. He must need to work nonstop to be able to pay the bills and alimonies for all those wives, partners and children!