D i c k s k i' s April Fool' s Day Stag do The Poor Childs
to be
Info Hotel Address
The Groom Flight Details (Meet in hotel Lobby for 8am) Return: Flight FR2433 Depart: Krakow Airport Depart : 10:15am Arrive : 11.25am
AAE Krakow Hostel, ul. Basztowa 15 , Krakow, 31143.
B est Man ’s
Welcome Note Let’s start this Stag weekend with a bang! There is no “I” in this weekend! Do whatever you want to do, but let’s do it all as a group. Don’t be a fucking diplomatic twat. Dickski should know by now where we’re going so let’s make the whole weekend a weekend for him never to forget. Although the alcohol will have some influence on that! If Dickski says no, ignore him. If Dickski says yes, listen to him, and if he doesn’t answer, just fucking do it anyway. Protect your trousers from soiling by Dickski at all costs! I hope you midgets enjoy this weekend as much as Dickski does! Remember what goes on in Krakow stays in Krakow
DickSki Dougherty Aka Sir pISS-A_lot Right little Hitler plumber. Likes to be unique and stand out. Cannot hold his drink, gets bladdered and doesn’t bother going to the loo. Instead whips his cock out right on the spot and pisses on someone! You better pray that it’s not your lucky night!! Dickski’s dirty secret At school, in class - a girl asked people if they wiped their arse after a shit until completely clean. Robert replied “ I wipe ‘til it’s NEARLY clean.” So in effect he must have had brown skidmarks on his pants! Did you know.... Dickski supported Liverpool FC before converting to Tottenham Hotspurs FC, the traitor.
The Krakow Stags
The Krakow Stags
Daniel Webster Aka Van Wilder
Neil Fox Aka Mr Squiggles
Bassim Baz Aka Dollface
John Docker Aka Knob Jockey
Matthew Hearn Aka Willy Foo Foo
James Cann Aka Etonian
Chris Kenwood Aka Porkchop
Andrew Mcgee Aka Tits McGee
Matt Beedie Aka He Hate Me
Troy Carter Aka Spunky
Has the dubious honour of being the best man, despite being so unreliable and lazy. He is a demon on wheels, & he’s confident of trouncing everyone at the circuit & promised to eat his hat if he does not place first.
A real casanova, has a budding bromance with Robert, Sophie better watch out!! He is famous for giving Robert several black eyes, and has vowed to go one better in Krakow.
A nice guy, when it is not his turn to get the rounds in. An artful dodger, and never admits when he is wrong. Everyone, flick his ears when he is not watching!
Arrogant git. Gives one back better than what you gives. Dangerous person to be around after a few let alone none! A real orang-utan look-alike, which is why he shaved his head.
An Irish twat who loves his Guinness. Poor kidneys! Considers himself a historian scholar and we hope he won’t get himself beat up. Best of all, he is not even Irish!
Mr Know-it-all, stuck up, grammatically perfect private schoolboy wannabe. Plump and uglier version of Prince William if you like. Let’s see how he handles his drinks!
A decent footballer, but an even better badminton player. You are right, its an euphemism for a massive pussy. He loves staring at you-know-what in the showers. Be very afraid!
Fulham DFC call him Mr Consistency, we call him Mr Inconsistency for he is famous at wetting himself. A blonde South African, you wouldn’t want to mess with him...
He can psychologically fuck you up, with his witty remarks and comebacks. Fuck that, he’s a pussy, wet and tight!
Has a plush and perky job where he can pick up a magnum for next to nothing. You better hope he doesn’t shoot from the hip or drag you to the dentist chair.
Itinerary
Dickski’s Dares
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Pub Crawl
3 Races of Go-Karting
75 rounds of Shooting Guns
Do whatever the fuck we want.
(Pick up - 3.00pm)
(Pick up - 12 noon)
The to-do-list which must be fulfilled before departure to the homeland Failure to fulfil this will result in Punishments decided by the Weights and measures Committee. ( Tick off accordingly)
20 AK47 Kalashnikov,
To-do-Dares
Likelihood we’ll bar crawl all over Krakow.
10 Glock,
Saturday Eve
10 CZS75,
Stag Deluxe Pub Crawl (Pick up - 8.00pm)
25 Polish Uzi,
Dip foot in the vistula river
Get a black bra from a woman
Crawl from hotel to nearest pub
Get a pair of boxers from a bloke
Strip dance on table
Wear an Arsenal shirt
Blow a condom up over your head
Lick a bloke’s armpit
Cross the road doing a caterpillar
Hold a vibrator all night
10 Shotgun
Skidmark Dickski
(names drawn out of a hat on daily basis) Sunday Eve
1 Judge • 1 Weights & measures Committee • 1 Court -martial Committee
Feast 4 the Eyes Dinner
(Pick up - 7.00pm) Did you know.... that Dickski used to play rugby semi-professionally as a boy until he crocked his shoulder.
Did you know.... that Dickski has never beaten Dollface at squash for 10 years and counting....
Drinking Games Drinks are restricted to beer, straight shots or two-part cocktails. Drinking commences at 12 noon Saturday and Sunday. Drink at your own peril on Monday. Punishments are decided by the weights and measures Committee. 1) Yellow peril - if you get a yellow golf ball in any vessel you are holding, you must down the contents (3 mins max) 2) Drink with the clock - depending which half of the clock the minute hand is in, you must drink with the corresponding hand. 01 to 30 mins - right, 31 to 00 mins - left. (General to pick which half of the hour) 3) Thumbmaster - last person to see the thumb on the table must down the drink 4) Pub Golf (rules overleaf) 5) Trump Cards 6) Stags on Parade - Assemble in front of the Groom and show your must-haves
Did you know.... that Dickski’s favourite drink is South African’s Savanna Dry Cider... What a wuss!
Drinking Game Rules Stags on Parade At any time during exercises, the Groom can call for ‘Stags on Parades’ to inspect his troops. Each member is expected to assemble in front of the Groom and produce their Booklet and their must-haves. Failure and/or last person to do so will incur a punishment as decided by the weight and Measures committee, with input from the Groom (The Groom cannot participate if related to Dares) Pub Golf This is an exercise to be undertaken by you all. We will play a nine hole golf course. Each ‘hole’ will be a beverage as agreed beforehand. A couple of holes will have a designated hazard - either a water hazard or sand hazard. Water hazard - you cannot go to the toilet for the duration we’re in the pub playing that hole. Sand Hazard - you must drink a shot of your choice in addition to the drink you already have at that hole. The number of times it takes for you to finish your drink is your score for the hole. Scorecard provided. Did you know.... that Dickski used to have a Red VW Polo, how girlie of him.
Must Haves
Emergency contacts
Stags of Krakow are expected to bring along your ‘Must-haves’ that will identify their participation on the Stag You were told beforehand to bring these items. There’s no excuse. These items are as follows:
just to be on the safe side...
sk i Ch ilddo's Ro beil Rt Fool' s day stag Apr
The Poor Childs
to be
Booklet Rose
Polish Mini Flag Rugby ball
Failure to produce any of the above items when the Groom calls for ‘Stags on Parade’ will incur a penalty where you must drink 25% of your drink for each item not shown. Did you know.... that Dickski owned a Siamese Cat named Gizmo!
If you losE your mobile Van Wilder
+(44) 7815 890290
Knob Jockey
+(44) 7834 979425
Etonian
+(44) 7980 757620
Dollface
+(44) 7779 362477
The Krakow Police advice: Ensure you have a photocopy of your passport and other important documents. Deposit the originals in a secure place like the hotel safe.Take extra care when visiting the main tourist attractions (like Krakow Old Town Market square), at the main railway station and on public transport as there is a risk of pickpockets.
If you lose your passport Contact Honorary Consul in Krakow Mr Kaz Karasiński British Honorary Consul Address: ul. Św Anny 9, 31-008 Kraków Tel: +48)(12) 4217030 Fax: (+48)(12) 422 42 64
emergency services Police Station Rynek Główny 29 tel. (+48) (12) 6157317 accessible 24h /7
Try not to get yourself too fEcked up and lose your passport or mobile phones!!
We hope you have as much fun as possible but...
Please Drink Responsibly
“what goes on in Krakow stays in Krakow....�
thehang va com .
thehangova 2011