Ask Madam Starflash

Do YOU have burning questions for our resident Seer and fairy, Madam Starflash? Got yourself in a relationship with a Vampire and don’t know if it’s going to work out? Debating on using a love potion on your biggest crush? Have a bully you’d love to get rid of?

Don’t hesitate to ask! Madam Starflash ALWAYS has the right answer for you! Contact her in Divination Tower at /r/TheQuibbler now with your desperate questions!

Dear Madman Starfish,

Yesterday I found a galleon under my couch so I decided to treat myself to a lolly from Honeydukes. However, the rude cashier refused to accept my money! She accused me of trying to pay with counterfeit money.

To prove her point she peeled the gold off and ate my coin! The audacity of this witch! Now I'm out one galleon and I still don't have a lolly.

Anyway, what's the best way to clean a baking pan with caked-on grease?

Sincerely, Baking-Soda-Doesn't-Work

Dearest Baking, Not you again…I have warned you about calling me “Madman Starfish”...Anyway, your answer is USE MAGIC! I have taken my own advice and will be sending you a curse by return owl.

May Fortune smile upon you!

Dear Madman Starfish, I recently went on a date with the Bloody Baron. I thought we had a great time, but it's been weeks and I haven't heard from him. Do you think he ghosted me?

Sincerely, Lonely in Scotland

Dearest Lonely, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOUR CURSE IS ON THE WAY. Being ghosted is the least of your worries now.

May Fortune smile upon you!

Dear Madam Starflash, My sister told me you could become a Seer by cooking all your food with something called “clairvoyant butter.” I've searched everywhere, but I can’t find a market that sells it. Do you have any idea where I could purchase some???

Sincerely, Ghee This Butter is Hard To Find

Dearest Ghee, …Your sister is having a laugh. There is no such thing as “clairvoyant butter.” Cooking all of your food in any kind of butter will not make you a Seer. It will just make you uncomfortably regular. Becoming a Seer requires the Gift. The Gift is not something that can actually be developed. You’re either born with it or you’re not.

Try giving your sister a gift of cookies baked with extra regular butter. Even you will be able to See the outcome.

May Fortune smile upon you!

Dear Madam Starflash, I was told that the life of my dreams would come to me someday and that I'd have many magical powers. But when we asked about my baby sister's future, the Seer up and disappeared without another word! I'm scared - should I believe this Seer?

Sincerely, Imperfect Princess Dearest Princess, The only Seer you should be listening to is Madam Starflash. Your sister is a Squib.

May Fortune smile upon you!

Dear Madam Starflash, I had something strange come over me similar to writer's block, except it was computer related. I can't seem to find a solution to my coding problems! Do you See anything that might help?

Sincerely, Much Confuzzled

Dearest Confuzzled, There is a newfangled Muggle invention called the “Web.” Interestingly enough, there are no spiders involved, but the answer you seek lies there. You have been working with it all along. There is a force whose knowledge of all things is ALMOST as all-powerful as Madam Starflash. It is called “Google,” and you can ask it any question. I don’t normally recommend such a thing, as it costs me business, but just this once, try asking Google rather than me.

May Fortune smile upon you!