Unity Week Updated

The Horace Mann Record JANUARY 19TH, 2018 || VOLUME 115, ISSUE 14

HORACE MANN’S WEEKLY NEWSPAPER SINCE 1903

RECORD.HORACEMANN.ORG

UNITY WEEK

Cover by Art Director Ariella Greenberg

TABLE OF CONTENTS 2

A LETTER FROM THE BOARD, TENZIN SHERPA’S STORY, SEIJI MURAKAMI’S STORY

4

WHEN STUDENTS REALIZED THEY WERE(N’T) WHITE

8

DIVERSE MATERIALS IN CLASSROOMS

10

SOCIAL MEDIA & MENTAL HEALTH, MODERN FAMILIES

WEEKEND STUDENT SPENDING

3

POLITICAL INCLUSIVITY

5

THE STORIES OF LGBTQ+ STUDENTS AND FACULTY RELIGION AT A SECULAR SCHOOL

6,7 9

MALE BODY IMAGE

11

VALUE OF PRONOUNS, CULTURAL NAMES

12

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THE RECORD UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

Explaining the Unity Week Issue

A step in a new direction: processing my own sexual harassment

Dear Horace Mann Community, Following the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, we embarked upon the third annual Unity Week, a time marked by student- and facultyled workshops, an assembly and renowned speaker, and school-wide reflections on unity and tolerance.

This year’s theme for Unity Week, “practicing the language of equity and justice,” guided our decision to print this first ever issue of The Record devoted entirely to sparking conversations about diversity and inclusion.

Equity, justice, inclusion, and diversity are all complicated topics that take more than a week to unpack. The first step in the right direction is taking a step down to listen. We hope that this issue will provide a way for everyone to reflect on the past week and hear even more new perspectives.

Although we didn’t have the chance to address every aspect of one’s identity, we hope the variety of articles in this issue will extend these important discussions beyond just this week.

Thank you to all of the students and members of the faculty that bravely and thoughtfully shared their stories for this issue and throughout the week. We encourage you to read these stories with an open mind.

Sincerely, The Record Volume 115 Editorial Board

Seiji Murakami (12) I have been keeping up with the recent news and have seen countless women come forward with histories of their sexual assault and harassment.

But is there a precedent for when men come forward with their experiences?

In a society that continues to uphold the idea of masculinity as one of stoicism, inexpressiveness, and strength, as a cis-gender male, I won’t support the stereotype by participating in it.

I have long filed away my own experience of being sexually harassed as a public elementary school student, joining those who remain in silence.

For as long as I could remember, it was always easier to keep quiet. I don’t, as many women have, suffer from this moment in my life or have to deal with its effects on a daily basis, but I wonder how or even if I can begin to participate in the larger movement of saying “me too.” I guess this is my first step.

As a first grade student, I broke my leg from an ice-skating accident. As a result, I had a cast on my left leg that spanned from my ankle all the way up to my upper thigh, “a precaution,” the doctor said. For six months I would be stuck in a wheelchair.

I needed assistance from an aid for all hours of my school-day in order to get around with my classmates. I was introduced to John, a 70-year old man at the time, who would be my companion. John was kind, funny, and paternal. He brought me where I needed to go but he naturally became more than an aid, a friend.

As a six-year-old, I knew it was strange when he put his hand up my shirt to feel my back, patting it, skinto-skin, subsequently whispering something in my ear that I don’t remember. He did it in the middle of class, at the back of the classroom while my teacher was looking away.

But being vulnerable, temporarily physically disabled, innocent, and unaware of the harm, I did not react immediately because I didn’t know how to. I remember telling myself, John is a friend, he knows what is right and wrong, my teachers know him, I know him, I should trust him.

When I told my mom and dad later that evening, as any caring parents would, they immediately called my principal despite the late hours of the night and barred me from going to school until the situation was handled.

When my school later discovered that he had a history of misconduct, a police record they happened to miss, my parents were infuriated. I won’t forget the anger I saw on my mother’s face but more deeply, the look of sorrow and guilt, the unending apologies she did not know how to deliver to me.

She knew it was something that could never be taken back and something her words could not change. And when I told her I was completely fine, it was only because I didn’t yet understand the implications of what John had done to me, I did not yet know what it meant to be violated.

Retroactively thinking back to this time, I understand that the lasting effects of being personally violated reverberate differently due to the experience and situation. And even today, I continue to tell myself that “I could have had it worse” and that what I experienced is singular, personal, and will never leave me. But I have put that aside and know that any unwanted touch is harassment and that no matter how big or small, the experience is nonetheless something that has longterm, even traumatic, impacts on a

person’s life. I have learned not to try to delegitimize my experience, because denouncing it or writing it off as “no big deal’ can be immeasurably harmful.

This experience doesn’t determine the person that I am today. It is only after I have given myself the necessary space and time to think through this interaction, in midst of the larger movement that is going on today, that I recognize trauma has affected me in a different light. 11 years later, it has become a lens through which I can empathize with and understand the innumerable voices of brave women and men that have come forward.

But, it has also become an experience that tests my ability to not only deal with the interaction within myself but push myself further to find a way in which to articulate the complexity and convolution that is this trauma.

I cannot begin to know if my life would have been different without this interaction and I do not know the extent to which it has unconsciously influenced the way that I live my life, but that is survivorship.

No matter how hard I try to let it become a part of the past, it will always be something that will remain a part of me. I now understand my mother’s reaction that night, her inability to make this all go away for me and for it to never have happened. And I am still fortunate enough to say that I am not haunted by my harasser, I don’t think about it on a daily basis, it doesn’t creep into my every thought, and it does not dictate my every decision. It does not leave me afraid for what is in my future.

My trauma is no longer something I have to hold on my own and nor should you, if you have experienced anything similar to what I have. I will not know how lightly or deeply my story has touched you. All I know is that each and every one of you now bear a part of my trauma, and I hope you decide to do with it what I have decided to do with mine.

This article is only available in the print version

What’s in a name? Unpacking the whole narrative

Tenzin Sherpa (11) My last name Sherpa is recognizable, but not always for the right reasons. The name Sherpa translates to “people of the east,” but in dictionaries, it is translated as a porter or guide. I recently came across an interview done with a Sherpa anthropologist at Penn State University, who explained that when people see the word Sherpa, they confuse the people with a job, taking attention away from an entire ethnic group. One definition of Sherpa I encountered defined it as type of servant. I immediately rejected that definition. How could I ever feel comfortable using my own name knowing that there are people who equate my name with servitude?

Often times, many people do not even

know who Sherpas are, and if they do know, people usually associate them with mountain climbing. Yes, Sherpas are most commonly known for being mountain guides for people looking to check a Himalayan ascent off their bucket list. Inevitably, the question soon follows: “Do you know anybody who has climbed Mount Everest?” Occasionally accompanied by the comment, “that’s so cool!”

Sure, it’s cool that you encountered the word sherpa in your biology class or possibly read about Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary. But the narrative is far from complete. You never learned how the Nepalese government exploits the skills of the Sherpas for tourism dollars. You never knew that many Sherpas do not climb by choice, but as the only source of income for their families: an income that is mostly stolen by the government. No one told you about the countless lives lost on the mountains due to avalanches and other natural disasters and the all-too-often disgusting treatment of Sherpas by western mountain climbers.

This is a narrative that hurts me to tell, and it disappoints me that there is not more coverage about the real truth of the Sherpas.

In 2015, an earthquake with the magnitude

of 7.8 rocked the cities and mountains of Nepal. Over 9,000 people died in the destruction, and the earthquake triggered multiple avalanches in the Himalayas, taking the lives of numerous Sherpas on the mountains. Unfortunately, many Nepalese today are still without homes and basic materials needed to live. I know families who lost their homes and their loved ones.

Maybe you have encountered the name Sherpa through fashion. I remember when I first saw the name Sherpa on a piece of clothing. I was ecstatic at first because my name was being represented somewhere.

When I took a closer look at the clothing, I realized that the Sherpa fur only perpetuated existing stereotypes. The fur alluded to clothing worn in a certain geographical region, but it was a clear example of cultural appropriation lacking any cultural appreciation. It reduced my name, a name that I say with pride, down to faux fur. To see my name exploited to benefit large companies with no connection to my people angered me.

So no, being a Sherpa today is not “cool.”

It’s a constant reminder of the harrowing reality that wives and children experience everyday watching their husbands and

fathers risk their lives to help their families survive. It’s reading your name and legacy on a cheap piece of clothing. It’s a reminder of a corrupt government that reaps all of the benefits from the lives of a group of suffering economically.

Of course I cannot speak for everybody, but I can share my experience and hope that others may learn from it. Maybe I can deepen your simplistic understanding of a word as simple and complex as Sherpa.

I did not tell you about myself because I desire pity for the hardships I faced coming to terms with my name, but because I knew I had to break my fear of being judged by my peers. I knew it would be unproductive to be angry without explaining why. I know others who still feel uncomfortable sharing their experiences. Classmates who fear that those experiences will be ignored or worse, invalidated, by uncaring peers. In the spirit of Unity Week, I hope that you will be able to take away that in order to cultivate a safe and inclusive community, you need to listen and try to empathize with the person sharing their experiences. Nobody should have to ever to be subject to invalidation or judgment when sharing their stories.

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HORACE MANN UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

$aturday night spending Megha Nelivigi Staff Writer The members of the school community spend their Saturday nights very differently. Some prefer to stay in and get work done, while others go out to clubs and restaurants. In an anonymous poll completed by 316 students, the money spent on Saturday nights ranged from $0 to $1,000+.

Because he tends to be busy during the school year, Allen Park (11) tries to get most of his work done on his Saturday nights in preparation for the week. On the nights that he does go out, he sees movies or gets dinner with friends. Park, who does not consider himself a big spender over the weekends, uses his money only on food or movie tickets, he said.

Gabby Fischberg (9) generally stays at home as well, especially because living in New Jersey makes it difficult for her to come to Manhattan where most of her friends live, she said.

Yasmin McLamb (11) spends her Saturday nights working on a creative project, such as editing a video or finishing an art piece, she said.

Other students frequently go out on Saturday nights, such as Bethany*. After meeting up with friends at 9 p.m., Bethany and her friends either go to bars or clubs or attend a party if a friend is hosting one. Although she would go to restaurants more regularly during freshman and sophomore years, Bethany and her friends visit clubs more often during senior year.

She and her friends usually frequent the same handful of bars and clubs, especially as they have gotten to know some of the bartenders. Some of the bars they attend even have activities, such as board games, Bethany said.

Depending on the activity, Bethany and her friends have a range of what they will spend in a night. When visiting a bar, they will each spend around $60, with around $30-40 spent on drinks and the rest on Ubers.

But when going to a club, spending increases.

Bethany has male friends that frequently spend money on tables. “I usually go with the same group of people, five girls and usually three guys,” Bethany said. The price of a table is typically $1,000 but can vary depending on the number of people attending and bottles purchased.

“Girls never pay when we go to clubs,” Bethany said.

Zeke* doesn’t go clubbing every weekend, but does go with friends sometimes, he said. He has one friend that pays for almost all of his Saturday night expenses. This same friend spends money

on tables routinely at whichever club they visit.

Even when he is not with that friend, Zeke rarely pays for anything on his own. “I’d say 90% of the time someone else pays for me,” he said.

“My friends always offer. All I pay for is a Metro Card-- sometimes not even that.”

When students do spend money on Saturday nights, the majority of expenses go towards food and transportation. The poll of 316 students found that 79.8% of Saturday night expenses go towards restaurants and 49.8% go towards transportation.

Jack Eagan (10) tends to spend more money

workload has consumed much of her free time, Warszawski still goes out with friends on many Saturday nights with the same group of friends.

“A lot of the time, we like to treat ourselves to nice dinners, which is what I spend a lot of my money on,” Warszawski said. Depending on the weekend, Warszawski will spend anywhere from $20 to $70 each weekend, she said.

The amount Lauren Port (11) spends on a Saturday night depends on the group of people she is hanging out with, she said.

“If I’m with school friends, I spend a lot more money on food than with camp friends; most of what I’m spending with them is on food.

With camp friends, we usually go to more casual places for dinner, but spend a lot more on transportation since many of them live in Westchester,” Port said.

Priyanka Vorgunanti (10) keeps her Saturday nights cost-efficient.

Some nights, she works at an art gallery, while other times she hangs out with a group of friends. She usually spends around $20 on average each weekend. When not using public transportation, Voruganti takes Vias and Uberpools, and she does not eat out often.

“I spent a lot of money on stuff when I was younger-- there was so much pressure to wear expensive things and have expensive dinners. I don’t even like that kind of stuff now-- there are a lot of events around the city that are free, and everything in the Lower East Side is cheap or under $5,” she said.

As for teachers, Music Department Chair Timothy Ho spends his Saturday nights with his family. Generally, Ho and his family cook dinner and watch TV. “As you get older, you tend to keep a specific schedule, and your weekends are about your kids,” Ho said.

Physical Education Teacher Matthew Russo leads a very similar routine with his family. After a day filled with activities for his kids-- visiting trampoline parks, going to the movies-- Russo likes to wind down with a family dinner, often cooked by himself and his daughter. Most of his Saturday spending occurs during the day; the only money spent in the evening is on groceries, he said.

“I spent a lot of money on stuff when I was younger-- there was so much pressure to wear expensive things and have expensive dinners. I don’t even like that kind of stuff now-- there are a lot of events around the city that are free, and everything in the Lower East Side is cheap or under $5,” - Priyanka Voruganti (10) on Ubers than he does on his food at restaurants, he said. He typically goes to a diner with friends and ends up at a party, which he finds through word of mouth or on social media. On other nights, he just goes to a friend’s house where they order in food, he said.

“I definitely spend a lot less money now than I did in middle school,” Eagan said. “We used to feel the need to spend more money going out to eat or going to places that take a while to get to, and we don’t bother doing that as much.”

This change may have occurred because he and his friends have less time, but also because the same routine “just doesn’t seem as fun” as they have gotten older, Eagan said.

Beatrix Bondor (12) has a similar routine of going out to dinner and then to a friend’s house or party.

“I think if I didn’t live in Manhattan, I wouldn’t go out to eat as much. Public transportation makes things a lot easier,” she said. “I used to be really uncomfortable with public transportation, which was very privileged, but after making friends who heavily used it, I began to use it more.”

Using public transportation is a way Bondor saves a lot of money, so most of the money she spends over the weekends is on food.

“I think my friend group is good at keeping a handle on spending,” Bondor said. “We don’t spend that much money, and when we do, we split everything.”

Nicole Warszawski (11) spends most of her money on food as well. Although the junior year

79.8%

spend money on restaurants

49.8%

spend money on transportation

32.9%

spend money on entertainment

*These students have been granted anonymity because they felt uncomfortable sharing their names in the context of this article.

How much do you typically spend on a Saturday night?

Based on 316 anonymous survey responses

Number of students

Of 316 people polled...

26%

spend money on drinks

4.3%

spend money on sports tickets Drawings by Spyri Potamopoulou/Staff Artist and Ariella Greenberg/Art Director

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THE RECORD UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

TAUSSIA BOADI (10) While I had known all my life that I had dark skin and was therefore different, an experience in middle school made me first think about my skin color and what it meant. At my old school, in my seventh grade history class, we had just learned about slavery in America. In order to deepen our understanding of the subject, we were going to take a class trip to a former slave plantation. Before we left for the trip, a few of my classmates and I were talking about what we expected to see once we arrived. One of my classmates mentioned that he brought money for the gift shop and hoped to buy little slave figurines. Another boy responded saying, “there’s no need to spend money on slave figurines, we already have Taussia.”

CHARLOTTE PINNEY (11) After the 2016 presidential election, I, along with the rest of liberal white America, thought all was lost. Like this was the end, the worst possible outcome. I spent most of the week in a haze of disbelief, but then came Saturday. That night, Dave Chappelle was hosting SNL. After he spoke, the first sketch of the night showed a group of white liberals descending into panic while the election results slowly seeped in.

Meanwhile, Dave Chappelle just sits there and watches, unsurprised to see yet another white man coming into power. It became clear to me that the reason this election felt so monumental is because liberal white people got a clear momentary glimpse at what systematic racism looks like for the first time, and we couldn’t handle it. And for the first time I realized that I held all the cards, that I was born with them and that people of color had been playing the exact same game, empty handed, this entire time.

AIDAN MCANDREW (9) For the last fourteen years, I have grown up in El Barrio, East Harlem, where primarily Dominicans and Puerto Ricans live. I was considerably wealthy, and just stepping outside my apartment building proved to be like night and day. I think children start comprehending race and skin color when they interact with people unlike themselves in school. However, before I attended Kindergarten, I realized I was surrounded by drastic racial diversity, by people that did not share my skin tone, lifestyle, culture, and language, so I asked my two mothers why I did not look like my neighbors. They told me that I was white, one of the many different races that congregate and live in New York from all over the world. That day, I was first taught to treat everyone with the same respect and that no one race is greater than another, no matter how they live or have lived in the past.

MADHAV MENON (9) Prior to my arrival at Horace Mann, I never admired the Indian and Hindu heritage that my family had embraced for years. My cultural appreciation governed only a small portion of my private life, while remaining completely absent from school. However, at the start of 8th grade,we studied Hinduism in history class. To my surprise, I was quickly singled out and labeled the “expert”, even though I had very little knowledge on Hinduism. But soon, the academic environment present awakened a hidden love for my once distant culture. To live up to expectations I began to explore Hinduism and Indian culture through independent research and discussions with my family.

I now embrace and love my once distant culture.

/

Sofia Gonzalez/Staff Artist

BINAH SCHATSKY (12)

REALIZATION

STORIES

In my white elementary school, my white friends and I from our white neighborhood would pass around the beige crayons we called “skin color.” This white world of white stories and white role models was crafted for our comfort. Later, we were sent to fancy private schools where we learned to talk about racism with our big vocabularies, but I didn’t recognize how much I profited from it until I stopped talking and started listening.

I’ve had a lifetime of seeing my skin on movie screens, in public office, on the stick figures with the yellow hair and blue eyes that we drew in kindergarten with those white skin crayons. I didn’t think twice about it, and nobody thought twice about me.

That is true privilege. My story is the least important, but it is my responsibility to use this privilege to make sure other peoples’ stories become the most.

JEREN WEI (11) Since Kindergarten, I would often be greeted in the halls with “ni hao,” squinty” eyes, or remarks about my flat nose by the other children attending my elementary school. I live in a small suburban town in Westchester with a very small Asian community. In fact, I was one of only two East Asian kids who attended my elementary school, which was primarily comprised of white students. Since early elementary school, I’ve realized that I was an isolated minority in a white community lacking cultural sensitivity and awareness.

My eyes were different. My face was different. My cultural identity was different.

Fortunately, after joining Horace Mann’s diverse and supportive community, I feel at home and wear my monolids with pride.

JACK EAGAN (10) Living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and attending predominantly Caucasian schools my whole life, I tended to always fall in the “majority” of the communities I’ve grown up in. It essentially took me over 15 years and a flight thousands of miles across the country to truly understand what it means to be white. When I attended the Student Diversity Leadership Conference earlier this year, I was expecting to see a bunch of students like me from around the country -- and I did; however, what no one told me was that I would be one of only 100 white kids in a sea of thousands. But I didn’t feel lonely or scared. Instead, I experienced a wave of acknowledgment and recognition of who I really am and what that means in the United States today. How could a set of privileges affecting my everyday life be unbeknownst to me for the past 15 years?

I’m lucky to not have to think about how others will judge my physical complexities or my socioeconomic status or be questioned about my actions based on solely my race.

Whatever this is to entail, I am now fully fledged into helping those who need help, providing a voice for the voiceless, and offering hope to those who need it most.

ZAHRA THIAM (12) When I attended day camp in elementary school, there was a girl in my cabin who never wanted to play with me and always ignored me when I tried to talk to her.

During free time, I noticed she would play with her American Girl dolls. Since I loved them too, I brought out my own doll the next day, figuring this would be a great way for us to finally become friends. But when I asked her if I could join the game, she looked me in the eye and told me my skin was too dark.

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HORACE MANN UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

Living in a Liberal Bubble Students hesitate to express unpopular beliefs Sadie Schwartz & Jude herwitz Staff Writers “It’s a bigger deal to come out as a Republican than it is to come out as gay, and both of these things are simply aspects of a person’s identity,” Isabel Mignone (10) said about expressing her political beliefs at the school.

“To be honest, the thought of having to say, ‘Yeah, I’m a Republican’ in the newspaper is kind of terrifying because a lot of my friends are going to say, ‘What’s wrong with you?”

Mignone said.

In an anonymous survey, out of the 287 students who responded, 32% of students reported feeling uncomfortable expressing their political beliefs to their peers and teachers.

Student responses revealed a wide the diversity of beliefs along the political spectrum, as students identified as republican, democratic, centrist, communist, independent, libertarian, and various other combinations of beliefs.

“People feel that they will be persecuted and accused of having a lesser moral compass for having these views. It’s not just that you’re wrong on this issue, but because you hold these views it makes you a bad person,” Oliver Chonoles (12), who holds conservative views, said.

Brody McGuinn (11), a centrist, has found himself

If it did you would hear plenty of conservative arguments. There are people who are not liberal at the school but they either don’t speak up or act liberal to fit in. They are “covering.”

hesitant to voice his political opinions out of the fear for how they might be perceived, he said.

“This fear has started ever since the political election, since I did support Trump as the presidential candidate,” McGuinn said. “I didn’t really feel that I should voice my opinion for worry of how teachers and fellow students would react to those opinions.”

Although he feels that the school community has been pretty accepting of what he believes in, Nyle Hutchinson (11) recounted his feelings after Donald Trump, whom he supported, won the 2016 Presidential Election.

“While I didn’t agree with all of Trump’s policies, he was the candidate I wanted to win,” he said. “When President Trump was elected, I felt ashamed and silenced when everyone at the assembly was saying how it was one of the worst moments in history.”

After the 2016 presidential election, Jake Shapiro (10) felt that a lot of faculty expressed very negative opinions of President Trump, and that made students with contrary viewpoints less inclined to participate in discussion, he said.

“After the election, I know someone who defended Trump and his view on certain topics.

Someone responded, saying that you can’t really say that because you’re being racist or misogynistic,” Chidi Nwankpa

(12) said. “They weren’t directly saying anything racist or misogynistic but the defense of Trump triggered that reaction.”

Even when not speaking about Trump, many people articulated anxiety voicing political opinions that differed from the majority’s.

When she was younger, Natalie Raum (12) felt uncomfortable speaking about her contrarian beliefs, especially since they were different from the majority, she said.

Josh Abbott (12), who identifies as fiscally conservative and socially liberal, said that oftentimes he chooses not to speak about his views to avoid starting conflicts.

one opinion more or less that’s the acceptable one, and the bad guys are the others, and they’re kind of villainized,” he said. “It’s not that they’re saying you can’t have another view, but nothing else is really promoted as much.”

Unlike other people with similar beliefs, Chonoles enjoys the dialogue with people but he is forced to stay on top of his sources since his beliefs are outside of the majority, he said.

However, Chonoles has experienced negative initial reactions when discussing his political views in a classroom setting.

“Last year, I argued that the gender wage gap doesn’t exist.

At first, members of the class looked alarmed, but the teacher eventually settled down the class and it turned into a really interesting discussion,” he said.

“One time, I said something negative about Hillary and people went nuts. They came up to me and asked questions about where I stand,” Schuyler RabbinBirnbaum (11), who identifies as a centrist, said. “It’s unfair that people were so judgmental about it.”

Alex Crotty (11) possesses some views that may be considered conservative due to personal connection to the issues.

She is pro-keystone pipeline because her family comes from

“To be honest, the thought of having to say, ‘Yeah, I’m a Republican’ in the newspaper is kind of terrifying because a lot of my friends are going to say, ‘What’s wrong with you?””

-Isabel Mignone (10) “I know that if I talk about what I believe in to certain people, I’ll just engage in an argument,” he said. “Why should I just start trouble?”

Jack Blackman (10) characterized political discourse at the school as, at times, an “us against them mentality,” with only one appropriate view rather than a range of beliefs.

“It’s like there’s supposed to be

I feel like our school is overwhelmingly democratic, and it makes others uncomfortable to express their views, especially in this current presidency.

Alberta, so she knows that they are dependent on the oil industry.

“We have to take into account that so many people’s lives depend on industries that we may see as harmful and that just because everyone’s lives are so interconnected with politics, what’s very personal to me might be very impersonal to someone else and vise versa,” Crotty said.

Amman Kejela (10) described

The school encourages all types of diversity, what makes political beliefs any different?

Do you think the school allows for diversity of political beliefs? Why or why not?

67% said NO

The eight surrounding anonymous quotes were from students in response to The Record poll.

what he sees as a component of the seeming homogeneity of the school’s political views.

“I think something that contributes to this outward uniformity of thought is a sort of strongman defense in which some completely mischaracterize peoples’ beliefs and ethics and basically attack them,” Kejela said.

Students who identify on the far left side of the political spectrum can also feel uncomfortable voicing their opinions in class. Josh Benson (11), a self-described socialist, has been in situations where he received very negative backlash from his classmates.

“It was very disheartening because it was on an issue that I and other students participating had very similar beliefs on but it eventually developed into a shouting match,” he said. “There are certain opinions that I, as a Horace Mann student, would feel uncomfortable sharing because it could hurt how that teacher sees me.”

Jamie Berg (11), who also identifies as a socialist, said that the biggest obstacle he has encountered is that people don’t know if he is serious or joking about his political beliefs. “It’s radical enough that it can come off as a joke,” he said.

“You get a lot of mainstream liberalism at Horace Mann but not a lot of more radical left-ism.

There isn’t a lot of diversity within the left-alluding community,” Berg said. “So it’s a bubble in that way too.”

While some students feel the need to censor their political beliefs in the classroom, many teachers attempt to mediate political discourse.

“There are moments where there are some ideologies or viewpoints that we, based on our core values as a school would go, ‘This is not appropriate, people do not feel safe,’ and I’m sure we could have a conversation about what those are,” John Gentile, a co-director of the Office for Identity, Culture and Institutional Equity, said.

Continue on page 8

I think that there’s enough political diversity for everyone to have at least someone that agrees with them.

People use “Republican” as an insult without even listening to the other person.

286 students were polled

I’d say yes and no. While the school is open to political diversity, there’s often backlash outside of the classroom that students face if they’re in the minority.

The school does, but the students don’t.

There exists an aggressive, powerful liberal influence that while fostering acceptance and diversity also creates discomfort and unease among students regarding their political views.

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THE RECORD UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

gender identity and RIVERS LIU (12) there are only two genders in the first place.

How can a black and white system meant to dictate one of the most key identifiers for all people attend to all of the nuances that are inherent in humans? Binary gender is an archaic idea that is only now being updated.

Ricky Pinnock (12) I was 14 when I first said it out loud to someone else, yet I knew I wasn’t heterosexual for about seven years before I summoned the courage to tell my friends and family. After two to three years of being in the closet, it was easier to lie or avoid conversations about sexuality altogether rather than face my reality. I openly admitted to crushing on people I had no interest in whatsoever just to preserve the facade I’d built. I wouldn’t say that I suppressed my sexuality, but rather I silenced myself. I was always concerned with someone else: how someone else would see me, how someone else’s opinion of my could change, the subconscious thoughts that someone else would have about me.

During middle school, I progressively became more unhappy with myself because I was essentially hiding myself. I never thought not being heterosexual was a problem, but I wasn’t comfortable living out in the open. Had it not been for my supportive friends, I probably would still be somewhat in the closet. I am particularly thankful for Tishiya Carey ’17, for being my biggest confidante on the day I actually decided to come out.

Friends like her are the reason my comin out process, aka my dive into the deep end, was pleasurable.

My coming out experience may not be worthy of a Lifetime movie, but the support I received from my friends made it easy.

The biggest pro to coming out is that I couldn’t care less about a negative opinion of me. I’ve been out of the closet for three years now, and I am finally reaching the point where I don’t think I’m obnoxious for saying that. I’m treating this article as my second coming out, and I haven’t explicitly named a sexuality because I don’t know. I am not certain about whether I’m gay or bi, but I am certain that I’m not in a rush to find out.

“I’m exactly on the cusp of gender that feels comfortable with myself.”

Writing for The Record about myself is weird. Speaking in front of the whole school is weird. But the thing is, it’s never scary. Not at Horace Mann; I feel welcome here. I can’t say the same for most other places. Especially places outside of NYC. Going into women’s bathrooms anywhere else is a persistently uncomfortable experience for me because I get stared at because people think I’m a guy.

In public, I get called “sir” all the time. And it’s hard to explain that I don’t identify as either a man or woman to younger kids. Being non-binary can even be hard to explain to people my age. But I embrace it. I think, after years of struggling with my personal image, I’ve finally nailed it. I’m exactly on the cusp of gender that feels comfortable with myself.

At the end of the day, I believe gender is absolutely a construct and simply a matter of surface labeling. I’m not saying that gender inequality is invalid and isn’t a major issue in our world. It absolutely is one of the most pressing issues that we have to resolve. What I’m saying is, the basic fact that there even is gender conflict comes out of the idea that

This was difficult for me to realize. A few years ago, I was uncomfortable when an alum presented to the school about non-binary genders and pronouns other than she and he. Looking back, this discomfort probably stemmed from that part of me that resonated with what they were saying, but at that time I didn’t identify that discomfort correctly. As a kid I was always extremely uncomfortable with my appearance partly because I felt uncomfortable being a person of color, and partly because I felt uncomfortable looking like a girl. I have felt this way since 5th grade I think, and I didn’t tell anyone until my sophomore year in high school. My experience coming out was first coming out as bi, which soon turned into full-on lesbian. My parents were surprisingly receptive and supportive.

And my friends were, of course, completely accepting. Later on, realizing I didn’t identify within the binary gender system was another big step for me. As I have learned, coming out is a continuous process; but once you get over that first time, full of that big gut-wrenching fear, it gets easier. It doesn’t end, but I really do think it gets easier, if you’re careful.

John gentile I.C.I.E. co-Director

I came out as gay to my best friend in high school at 16 years old on our walk to lunch at Chipotle. I came out to my mother on a college trip to New

York City outside of Bloomingdale’s at 59th and Lex. I came out to my younger brother at a pre-planned dinner. I came out to my older brother rather flippantly rushing out of the car to get food at Chipotle (I owe Chipotle a thank you). I came out to my father during a Saturday morning car ride. I came out to students, faculty and staff, parents and alumni, my senior year of high school in a one-person show I wrote for a final project. I came out to the Horace Mann community the day I began working here. Coming out is a lifelong process.

I come out everyday. At some point you stop saying the words “I am…” and start being the words. My coming out is my refusal to be invisible. To allow myself to

take up space. To know my identity adds value to any community.

Yet, I know I have the opportunity to be authentic. To tell my story. To limit my covering. My identity as a white gay cis man allows my voice, my story to be heard while others continue to be silenced in our world. Silenced for fear of safety, to stay connected to family, to maintain a career, to stay on a team. I must ask myself, what am I responsible for? Who I am accountable to?

I cannot separate myself from history. An LGBTQ+ history that was not given out of time and patience, but fought for, died for. By nameless, faceless people who knew our dignity was worth more than the shadows its

beauty was cultivated in. Coming out is an opportunity to recommit myself to resistance, to collective liberation, to love, to accountability. It is about justice.

It is about the radical act of defining oneself on one’s own terms. It is about shattering shame.

This is my responsibility. To create space for each person to be whole and real and free in however they choose to show up in this world. Out or not. Gay or not. Because others did that for me.

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HORACE MANN UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

sexual ORIENTATION ALLISON DEROSE (11) of the “model bisexual,” they think of someone who likes boys and girls equally. To many, being bisexual means that you like two genders equally. But what if I like girls a little more? Does that mean I’m not a “true bisexual?” This confusion was what kept me from coming into my own identity.

Every year National Coming Out day, October 11, rolls around and I push down my anxiety while practicing the words in the mirror: “I’m bisexual.”

No. “Hey I like boys and girls isn’t that fun?” No. “Hey I’m like kind of gay but also not really so I guess I’m half gay.” I can never bring myself to say anything.

It doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of who I am. It doesn’t mean I don’t want people knowing. I just never understood coming out. Why don’t straight people have to declare their sexuality?

I always felt the need to label myself. It seemed that everyone around me was so sure and secure in their identity. The word bisexual felt and still feels weird to me. I say it and I don’t feel anything. I’ve never felt that the word applies to me. When people think

“I don’t have to come out as anything; I don’t consider myself anything other than just a normal teenager.”

I didn’t even know that bisexuality existed until a friend of mine offhandedly mentioned it and I was immediately intrigued. However, I soon moved on to decide that the label just wasn’t right for me. Society was telling me that I needed to have a label, but I just couldn’t settle on one. I had always been told that coming out was a big deal, and that I would know and be secure in my identity. Personally, I couldn’t find the words to describe myself, and this frustration threw me into a long period of time in which I feared the idea of coming out and felt that I would never be

able to fit in. I grappled with different labels, debating whether I was gay or bi, or if I was just confused and I just liked to look at pretty girls. It wasn’t until I entered high school that I finally met many other people who shared similar experiences. With that, I was able to settle on rejecting labels altogether. I discovered that the label on my sexuality didn’t affect me. With or without it, I am still the same person.

At HM I’ve honestly never felt pressure to either stay in the closet or to come out. Despite this, I’ve found that once you announce your sexuality, people tend to think of you differently. You’re no longer just a normal student--you’re always “the student who came out.” For LGBT students, coming out means permanently tacking on a label onto your identity at the school. Though the perception of you isn’t tainted positively or negatively, it never allows a student to be known as anything other than their sexuality.

As I’ve come into my own and accepted my identity, I’ve decided I don’t have to come out as anything; I don’t consider myself anything other than just a normal teenager.

LGBTQ+ students and faculty discuss their experiences EVAN PENN BROWN (9) Whenever my mom and I would go through photo albums of my grandmother, an art teacher who had spent her whole life in New York, my grandfather was in none of the pictures. Instead, there was Aunt Jane.

My mother never gave any hint as to how Aunt Jane came into my grandmother’s life, though she made it perfectly clear that they weren’t relatives. My next door neighbors never had kids, just a dog, and they would let me come over and play with her when my parents needed a babysitter. Kate played the bass professionally, and Michelle was a copy editor. As a child I always understood that neither couple were just friends, but I didn’t have the vocabulary yet to understand that they were in love.

I don’t remember when I realized that you could be attracted to the same gender. I don’t remember the day I realized I was gay.

I never had an earth-shattering moment

where everything clicked and the world was at peace. There wasn’t someone who I was in love with at first sight or a concept that fit just right. There was no significant event in my life that made my say “Oh my god, I’m queer,” I just knew. Once I learned that there was a community, I learned as much as I could about it. I looked at lists of terms, posts about acceptance, and more. I thought about what I liked and though I tried to find the word that fit me, to this day I still can’t.

I started with bisexual, and then pansexual, and then polysexual. But I still don’t know if that’s right. For me, the closest word would be queer.

I found that everyone has their own reaction based on their understanding of the LGBTQ+ community. The first time I came out was in seventh grade in science class.

I had leaned over to my friend and asked what she would think if I told her I was bi.

She turned to me with wide eyes and asked “Wait, you are bi, right?”. When I came out to my mother she was making dinner. She looked over at me and smiled, “Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart.” The first time I came out as pan, my friend looked accusingly at me and said “But you said you were bi.” And the first time I came out to my dad he said “when you were younger I hoped you’d be gay so I didn’t have to deal with guys.”

Up until my discovery of the LGBTQ+ community, I’d been sure of my identity. I had known who I was and what I wanted, but I was losing grasp of that as I learned more about different sexual and gender orientations. I lost grasp of the concrete understanding I had of myself. I’d always enjoyed naming everything and was comfortable putting people in boxes to understand them. It was easier that way. But

learning about the fluidity of gender and sexuality helped my realize that, even though it was easy, it wasn’t true to anyone.

Even and especially myself. People are so complex and cannot be explained by a word or a phrase. My personal journey, which is not over yet, wasn’t about struggling through accepting myself for who I am, but instead accepting that I don’t need to be as simple as a word.

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THE RECORD UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

Diversifying the material in classrooms

and Western ideas that people had towards the Islamic world, as well as understand islamophobia in the The student body may be the current era, Ben Rosenbaum (11) most diverse community that many said. of us are a part of, co-Director of “[The Islamic world] is a whole Office for Identity, Culture, and side of the world that a lot of people Institutional Equity (ICIE) John don’t know about and it’s one that Gentile said. doesn’t get enough attention and Because of this, we as a school has such a rich history that has “have to do work in terms of influenced ours in many different creating curricular frameworks ways,” Rosenbaum said. in which everybody can see After having taken diverse history themselves reflected back, find electives, “hopefully students come opportunities away from their HM to learn history experience from others’ a greater “I’m hoping to get my class to use contemporary with experiences, understanding of and practice literary documents as a living mirror of our time the world, as well cross cultural the skills to and ask themselves, ‘what in this book do we see as competencies,” think about history he said. critically as they about our own world and time?’”

“Every year, transition to college - English Department Chair Vernon Wilson and adult life,” Link [the English Department] said. revisits what In English teacher we taught in the previous year and “I start and end my Atlantic Deborah Stanford’s Toni Morrison try to widen the number of voices World course with Africa, because senior elective, the class reads heard in the form of books or of its importance in Atlantic World Morrison’s Beloved and The Bluest poems, even by a text or two, to not History and because I don’t view Eye. The novels provoke discussion only ethnically and racially diverse Europe as a necessary frame for surrounding topics such as beauty texts, but also ones that speak to understanding our shared past,” standards for black women in different socioeconomic realities Milkes said.

America, Kayla Thomas (12) said. or different gender points of view,” “In the past decade, [the history One of the main takeaways English Department Chair Vernon department has] vastly expanded from the elective has been the Wilson said. the number of electives that opportunity to be exposed to Likewise, for a long time with we’re offering, and many of those literature from a variety of cultural the tenth grade U.S. History electives focus on geographic parts perspectives and backgrounds, course, teachers have worked hard of the world that haven’t gotten as while relating to and empathizing to incorporate a diverse range much historical focus in this school with diverse characters, Thomas of American experiences into and different voices that haven’t said. the curriculum, whether that’s been heard, whether that’s in the “Talking about and engaging by writing a paper or looking U.S. or global context,” Link said. in diverse issues that we don’t at primary sources and hearing In history teacher Robert Jacobs’ always talk about in difficult from different voices, History Islamic World History elective, the discussions does not only make me Department Chair Dr. Daniel Link class reads a variety of primary a better analytical reader, but it also said. sources to understand the stigmas broadens my perspective on such

Madison Li Staff Writer

In the past, Horace Mann’s Upper Division history course for ninth grade was European history, then World History, and most recently Atlantic World History, history teacher Dr. Elisa Milkes said.

“One reason why the course may appear Eurocentric, though we aim for it to be centered more broadly around the Atlantic Ocean basin, is that many of the social, economic, and political developments that we track begin in Europe and then continue elsewhere,” Milkes said.

BROADENING PERSPECTIVES Sophie Coste (11) reading Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye.”

topics,” Maggie Brill (12) said.

The conversation “opens anyone up to experiences that are so different from their own but are still really valuable to be heard, and it creates an environment within the classroom where other students are raising issues of identity that they might’ve not have felt comfortable talking about in another setting,” Brill said.

Another aspect of diversity is “not just the curriculum itself, but also the teaching style and assessment methods,” psychology teacher Kristen Zatarski said.

“It’s important to recognize each student as a different learner and change the lesson to recognize different learning styles.”

As traditional notetaking doesn’t work for everyone, Zatarski tries to limit lectures and note-taking, instead integrating more interactive elements such as ungraded selfreflection or writing, group work, watching films, reading articles, and research experiments, she said.

“A curriculum relevant to students and varied teaching techniques will enhance the student’s learning on a deeper level,” she said.

“I’m hoping to get my class to use contemporary literary documents as a living mirror of our time and ask themselves, ‘what in this book do we see about our own world and time?’ as well as view problems we’re trying to break down in our own society in a more modern piece,” Wilson said.

In addition to modern literature, it’s important to push conversation about our humanity in the classroom throughout works from different time periods, such as Shakespearean plays, The Great Gatsby, and Between the World and Me, and to be able to analyze the text from a 21st century perspective, he said.

While great classic literature tells us about our humanity, sometimes these classics are “skewed views of who we are as people and the stories we tell,” English teacher Rebecca Bahr said.

“If we read literature that is all by men and about male protagonists and white characters, it doesn’t reflect the world that we live in and we aren’t able to widen our perspective,” she said.

“Having a variety of voices can assist in that goal and allow students to find the common thread between characters and themselves,” Wilson said.

“The English Department is constantly aware of the need to reflect not just what the school looks like, but to also reflect the wider world- the wider country, the city of New York, and the voices that can be heard there as well,” Wilson said. *Additional reporting by Abigail Salzhauer, Staff Writer

Continued from page 3 Art History teacher Dr. Anna Hetherington said that she encourages her students to prioritize “remembering that your personal opinion is not always the most appropriate thing to raise in the classroom, but rather aim to have an intellectually engaged discussion and think about different viewpoints,” she said.

“No student should be shut down when expressing an opinion that can further a discussion and therefore support an intellectually vibrant environment, but I think there are subjects that can be raised which do not open up a discussion, but rather shut it down, and that are not appropriate within the school,” Hetherington said.

Chair of the English Department Vernon

Wilson attempts to make his classroom “a space where everyone’s voice is heard,” but through discussion, not debate, he said.

Some students who hold liberal political beliefs mentioned that they want more opportunities to discuss politics with those who have different opinions. Claire Yoo (11), for example, wishes she had more opportunities to have productive conversations with people who identify outside the liberal bubble, she said.

“Even if you don’t believe in a specific idea someone is saying, taking time to listen to someone else’s view and not being rude about it is important,” Eliza Bender (10) said. “If we all made an effort to listen to people in the community and tackle views

we’re uncomfortable with from an academic standpoint, it would be much more efficient and healthier.”

“When I hear a viewpoint that differs from my own, I realize I have the greatest opportunity to learn. It is important to embrace those conversations with an open mind and listen even harder than you would to someone with whom you agree,” Aurora Grutman (12) said.

Shapiro, Raum, and Blackman all mentioned bringing in speakers for assemblies who will offer a range of political views as a possible way to help make it easier for students in the political minority to share their beliefs.

“I think that would help diversify the

opinion of the school,” Shapiro said.

Nwankpa feels that the issue of silencing the conservative opinion should be addressed because “every viewpoint has some validity to it even if you think it’s wrong, and through discussions, we’re able to grow as a society and if you’re able to challenge other people’s ideas, you may often see things in new light,” he said.

During next week’s assembly, in response to these comments, conservative political commentator Margaret Hoover will be in conversation with Princeton professor of history Julian Zelizer.

HORACE MANN UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

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Ariella Greenberg/Art Director

Exploring religious diversity at a secular school Caroline Goldenberg Staff Writer Across the school, there exists a variety of religious and spiritual practices, connections, and identities. For many members of the community, religious identity does not influence their friendships or relationships, but each individual at the school has had a unique experience with their religious affiliation in the community and outside of it.

Taussia Boadi (10), who identifies as Catholic, feels that there is a “mutual understanding of other religions” at the school, she said.

“It’s not like religion is something that is so blatantly expressed at this school,” Meryeme Elalouani (10), a practicing Muslim, said.

Religious identity does not impact Elalouani’s friendships, which she finds “refreshing, considering the current political climate,” she said.

Ashley Dai (10), who is an atheist, has many friends who identify with various religions, a fact she does not consider to be an obstacle in her relationships with them, she said, “I don’t feel like I’ve been left out of any conversations.”

“I’ve always felt comfortable sharing every aspect of my religious identity with the Horace Mann community because of the accepting and welcoming nature that I’ve felt,” Rachel Okin (12), who is Jewish, said.

“I’ve never felt like I wasn’t accepted, but I just feel that, at times, I have been misunderstood,” Nishtha Sharma (10), who identifies as Hindu, said. “A lot of people have misconceptions about what Hinduism is.”

Often when Hinduism comes up in conversation, others tend to focus on the spiritual aspect, Sharma said, while there are still many more “underlying” beliefs.

Sharma felt the eighth grade course taught on the legacy of the ancient world did not teach Hinduism as accurately as it could have; for example, translations of Hindu stories used in the class were sometimes inaccurate, she said, and in her experience, the course ignored many of the philosophical aspects.

Elizabeth Chung (11), who identifies as agnostic while also following Buddhist values, found it interesting to learn about a different sector of Buddhism in the eighth grade course than the one whose beliefs she follows, she said. Chung noticed that the course has been one of the fewer times when she has

recalled her religious identity being spoken about at the school, she said.

Okin greatly enjoyed the eighth grade history course, as it gave her a different view on other identities by learning about other beliefs and spiritualities she had heard less about beforehand, she said.

The eighth grade course, focusing on the legacy of ancient world civilizations, has been taught for over fourteen years, Middle Division History Department Chair Eva Abbamonte said.

Students learn that “the past is not dead. It still very much affects us and…the very different way in which people answer the same questions is something that doesn’t divide us; it really unites us,” Abbamonte said; “I think the other big take-away is why these very ancient ideas still ring so true for so many people in the modern world – what is it about those answers that people find compelling, hopeful, comforting.”

Nshera Tutu (9), a practicing Christian, would find more discussions about religious diversity helpful, she said.

“

“We talk about diversity in terms of race and gender and socioeconomic satus, but if we could also talk about religious diversity... and acknowledge the different religions that the students and faculty at Horace Mann have, that could help a lot.”

- Nshera Tutu (9)

“A lot of the times we talk about diversity in terms of race and gender and socio-economic status, but if we could also talk about religious diversity, ways to foster conversations about that, and acknowledge the different religions that students and faculty at Horace Mann have, that could help a lot,” Tutu said.

A significant portion of the school’s student body is comprised of Jewish students, compared to the approximately 2.4% of American children overall who identify as Jewish, according to a study conducted by the Pew Research Center in 2013.

Adam Fife (11), who is Jewish, remembers meeting people outside of the school community who had, for example, never been to a bar mitzvah, he said. Although

Fife was “very surprised” by these experiences at first, he also gained a greater appreciation for the fact that he attends a school where others understand his religion, he said.

Tutu found conversations with classmates about bar and bat mitzvahs in middle school difficult to relate to, she said.

During the bar and bat mitzvah years in middle school, students began to view Judaism with a social connotation, as students would associate the religious identity with large celebrations and whether or not they would be invited, Natalie Baer (10), who is Jewish, said.

Boadi can often find it “hard to relate with people when talking about religious topics,” especially because she does not know many other Catholic students in the school, she said.

Zarina Iman (12), who identifies as Muslim, has noticed that, when her classes at the school, especially history ones, have had discussions about current events involving Muslim people and Islam, “some people just don’t really get it. And I understand that they don’t get it; they don’t really have experience with it, but that is a point of disconnect,” she said.

Dahlia Krutkovich ’17 experienced a very different religious atmosphere when she began attending Davidson College in North Carolina this year, where she is part of the 5% of the student body who is Jewish.

“Many cultural references that are part of our daily vocabulary at HM are lost with my peers,” Krutkovich said.

Krutkovich was surprised when she realized she would not have days off for major holidays, such as Yom Kippur, she said. Despite these changes, Krutkovich has realized “just how important” her religious identity is to her “at a school where it feels like we’re drastically underrepresented,” she said.

Similar to Krutkovich’s experience this year of attending class on Yom Kippur, Elalouani recalls missing school in the past for the Muslim holiday Eid, which shifts every year based on the Lunar Calendar, she said.

“Historically, religious holidays have been added to the Guild Calendar and New York City Board of Ed calendars based upon the number of students most likely to miss instruction because of a day of religious observance,” Head of School Dr. Tom Kelly said.

“When considering holidays, HM takes into account the flow of

the school year, and the need for continuous periods of instruction,” he said.

For Benjamin Heller (12), a Jewish student, missing school for Passover was something he began doing at the school, as he had received days off for the holiday at his previous, non-secular school, he said.

“

“I’ve never felt like I wasn’t accepted, but I just feel that I have been misunderstood.”

- Nishtha Sharma (10)

Benjamin Hu (11), who identifies as Buddhist, has also missed school to celebrate the Chinese New Year, he said.

Iman normally attends school on Eid. Public schools in New York now close school on the holiday, but for Iman, it has been challenging to celebrate a holiday that is centered on family when she only has time to do that in the evening, especially with homework, she said.

“As much as teachers want to make exceptions for you, there’s only so much they can do,” Iman said.

Sharma takes off from school for the holiday Diwali. Additionally, she fasts during the day twice a year and chooses not to attend school on those days.

According to the school’s Family Handbook, “Horace Mann School recognizes the diversity of religious traditions represented among the students of the school and the value such diversity adds to the educational program. As such, the School respects the religious practices of its students and is committed to providing reasonable accommodations for religious obligations.”

Teachers have generally been accommodating for these religious commitments, Sharma said; “I have had a few instances where teachers did not understand the reason I was taking off that day, and they still assigned homework for me due the next day.” Sharma has learned to deal with that challenge, she said, although it is “very rare,” she said.

“The School has very clear guidelines regarding school work and religious observance, whether the day or days in question are

observed by the School or not.

Adherence to this statement should give every student and every employee the opportunity to practice/observe the increasingly diverse number of religious characteristic of our community,” Kelly said.

Spencer Slagowitz ’16 became more conscious of his Jewish religious identity and the typical status of Jewish populations as a minority when he began attending Georgetown University, a Catholic Jesuit school in Washington D.C., he said.

However, Slagowitz still finds it an easy experience to be Jewish on campus due to Georgetown’s commitment to religious tolerance, he said.

Although two students or faculty members may identify with the same religion or spirituality, they also may have different levels of personal connection, hold varying beliefs, or may participate in different practices.

When Okin entered high school, attending the same number of religious events and observances that she had in middle school, such as Hebrew School twice a week and services at her synagogue, became more difficult for her, she said, as she began participating in more events related to school and sports.

In addition to wearing the hijab, Elalouani does her best to pray five times a day, she said.

Sharma feels the “philosophical aspect” of Hinduism is very important to her beliefs and daily life, she said. She has been attending Sunday School since kindergarten, where she has learned about the Hindu scriptures and how the spirituality of Hinduism applies to “character-building and being a better human in general,” she said.

Sharma also occasionally prays at home, she said.

Hu describes his connection to Buddhism as more of a “spiritual” connection, he said, “it is something that has provided some comfort to me in some sense.”

Although Dai is an atheist, because of her cultural background, she and her family also follow Buddhist and Confucian values, she said. Dai’s motto is “do no harm,” she said.

“For me, religion reflects on my morals and my values and just how I interact with people,” Elalouani said. Growing up, Elalouani was raised with a sense that religion is important and that it is there for her when she needs it, she said.

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THE RECORD UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

Like me: the effects of social media on mental health Amelia Feiner Staff Writer The lives of most 21st century students revolve around technology in school, at home, and everywhere in between.

Technology is helpful in many situations, but it also presents potentially harmful pressures. As many aspects of students’ lives now live on social media, students who use popular apps like Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat often feel obligated to appear “perfect.”

Additionally, some feel jealous, excluded, or even anxious when viewing others’ social lives.

Checking Snapchat stories and scrolling through Instagram feeds became a habit for Gibby Thomas (11), so she can see what her friends are doing, she said.

Although it is interesting to see

what activities others are doing, it is easy to feel excluded, Andrew Cassino (10) said.

“Especially since I don’t live in the city, it isn’t as easy for me to get out and hang out with friends,” Cassino said. “Some of my friends find it necessary to put their every move on social media.”

Counseling and Guidance psychologist Dr. Ian Pervil believes that while social media makes students more acutely aware of being excluded, it does not change the feelings that they have when they deal with exclusion.

In an anonymous Record poll through Google Forms that included a sample of 331 Upper Division students, 86.4% of the participants expressed they were either indifferent or negatively impacted when they saw their friends excluding them.

Spyri Potamopoulou/ Staff Artist

Based on 331 anonymous Based on 331 anonymous survey responses survey responses

“They’re just the latest incarnation of the same problems that we face in our day to day world,” Pervil said.

According to Freya Lindvall (12), who is conducting her independent study on social media’s effects on students’ mental health, seeing wealthier students post about their luxurious lives negatively affects students who are of lower socioeconomic status, especially at this school.

Wealthier students may come to a better understanding of their privilege after seeing posts of their friends who are of lower socioeconomic status than themselves, she said.

Whereas passively scrolling

through social media may be harmful, actively posting has ramifications as well. Other aspects of social media websites make them even more addictive, as the amount of “likes,” views, “friends,” and “followers” makes these platforms seem like a contest of capturing the attention, approval, and admiration of their peers, James Chang (12) said.

“There is a need to compare your own account to others,” Cassino said. People are often afraid of judgment if they have a less than perfect post, he said.

McCarthy feels alarmed by the amount of time she spends filtering photos to make her life seem more aesthetically pleasing, scrolling

through posts of people she has never talked to, and looking through photos to make sure she uses the one where her legs look the skinniest, she said.

Lindvall believes that social media is a method to disguise one’s problems by taking pictures of a split second in time when their lives appear happy, Lindvall said.

“I don’t think that is always such a bad thing,” Pervil said. Social media is simply an extension of people’s desire to present their best selves, he said.

Escape from social media is difficult, as it is inextricably intertwined with everything people do in the technological age, Lindvall said.

Modern family: Challenging the idea of a nuclear home Leonora Gogos Staff Writer According to Director of Institutional Research and Enrollment Management Lisa Moreira, of the 649 Upper Division families at Horace Mann, 86% of them self-reported themselves as stereotypical nuclear families. A nuclear family is the familial setup of having two parents and their biological children. This structure excludes people with divorced parents, single parents, same-sex parents, adoptive parents, stepparents, or any other variation which challenges the model of a “generic” family.

Jack Eagan’s (10) family differs from this social unit because he has two dads rather than parents of different sexes. His experiences between certain holidays and family get-togethers are definitely different, Eagan said.

His awareness of his different family structure faded with age, he said.

“I think it was very apparent in the beginning of my Horace Mann career – I stood out specifically for those reasons,” he said. “I definitely stood out on things like mother’s day and father’s day, or bring your parent to school day, when I saw all these nuclear families.”

Helena Kopans-Johnson’s (10) family structure also challenges what is considered nuclear. Her father remarried, so KopansJohnson has a stepmom and two younger half-siblings. Her mother has been in a serious relationship since Kopans-Johnson was three, so although she does not technically have a stepfather, she said he acts as a parental figure in her life. He has three children.

Similar to Eagan, KopansJohnson was far more aware of these differences in her younger years, she said.

“In kindergarten and first grade, there weren’t that many families at Horace Mann that were divorced, so I kind of felt like an outsider,” she said. Her family structure affects her daily life by making it more challenging for her to deal with extracurriculars while also seeing friends and navigating between two households, she said.

Jacob Chin (10) also has a unique family structure because his parents are divorced. He spends exactly half the week with his mom, stepdad, and sister, and exactly half the week with his dad.

Chin’s parents have been split up since he was two, and Chin considers his stepfather to be another father to him. He does not consider his family to be very

unconventional since divorce is not that uncommon. Since Chin only lives with his sister for half the week, he said that she misses him.

A challenge for children with divorced parents is growing accustomed to different sets of rules, Chin said. His mother is vegetarian, for example, while his father is not. His dog also lives at his father’s house, so Chin only sees her for half the week.

“I definitely feel more at home at

my mom’s house because my room is my own room,” Chin said. “But I don’t remember any other way.”

Amman Kejela (10) also has divorced parents. Kejela has one sister, and said his family is essentially the nuclear family structure except he and his sister only live with one of their parents.

He said he did not face any significant challenges due to his parents’ divorce.

“My dad would still be my dad, and the same for my mom,”

Kejela said. “They changed their relationships between each other, not me.” Kejela lives with his mother, but sees his father every day.

A biological family can be different than what you identify as your family, Chin said.

“Biological family is literally just people who are related to you,” he said, “But your family could simply be defined as people you’re close to, and more than just a friend.”

Jonathan Katz/ A&E Editor

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HORACE MANN UNITY WEEK JANUARY 19TH, 2018

BIGGER, faster, better, stronger: the truth about living up to male body image expectations Becca Siegel & Simon Yang Staff Writers At the school and within society, men are often expected to look like the celebrities that grace magazine covers. The social pressure that accompagnies these expectatations has caused many male students to work out and diet, Stephen Angelakos (12) said.

Although not all of the pressure can be attributed to external expectations, many guys are still internally motivated to exercise and eat healthy, Grant Kaufman (12) said.

At the assembly on December 9th, Chidi Nwankpa (12) spoke about his experience with societal and internal pressures regarding the way he views his body.

Nwankpa struggled with dieting and overexercise during his first few years of high school, he said.

The stigma of insecurity with the male body, however, is not talked about as much as it is with girls, Nwankpa said.

“A lot of us go through issues like this, being uncertain about our bodies, but if we do face body issues, we are told to just man it up and hold it inside, which is ultimately

Freya Lindvall/Photo Editor

#GAINZGAINZGAINZ Aidan McAndrew (9) (right) takes a break and takes notes from Colin Barile

really unhealthy,” Nwankpa said.

Male students will work out after school in either gyms near their homes or at the school’s fitness center. Many of them consume foods that are high in protein and low in carbohydrates, Josh Benson (11) said.

Benson originally began his regimen in an attempt to gain weight. He follows a strict diet of protein, dairy, and produce; he eats two burgers, a chicken burger, fruit, and drinks four cartons of milk everyday at lunch. Benson maintains this diet in order to nourish him for the weightlifting that he does five days a week.

“There is a lot of a pressure to look effortlessly good, which means having abs or being athletic. The pressure comes from people wanting to see other attractive people,” Benson said.

The stress of looking attractive and being compared to others, especially during the annual Paradise Island (PI) trip that many seniors take during spring break, has caused some senior boys to intensify their diet and exercise more rigorously in an attempt to match the bodies of their peers, Angelakos said.

Although he personally does not diet in anticipation of Paradise Island (PI) trip, Angelakos remarked that many of his friends talk about getting in shape to take pictures and look good on the trip, he said.

Many male students feel pressure to increase their physical appeal in advance of the trip, Yarden Hahn ’17, who went on the trip last year, said.

Even without the stresses of the PI trip, many male students still exercise every day, whether to improve at a sport or change their appearance.

David Shen (11), Philip Shen (11), Jamie Berg (11), George Loewenson (12), and Benson all regularly frequent the school’s fitness center.

The Shens prepare for the golf season by strengthening their arms, Berg trains for wrestling, which he does during the school season as well as two to three times outside of school every week, and Loewenson and Benson go to build muscle.

“I have always been skinny and the appeal of working out is that people are always surprised when they see I can lift so much because they have only known

“A lot of us go through issues like this, being uncertain about our bodies, ..., we are told to just man it up and hold it inside, which is ultimately really unhealthy.”

- Chidi Nwankpa (12)

“

“I work out mainly because I’m an athlete. But at the same time, social pressure does affect me implicitly. You want to be active, because being fit is just a part of our culture.”

- Suraj Khakee (10)

Freya Lindvall/Photo Editor

PUMPING IRON Chidi Nwankpa (12) combines weightlighting with cardio during track practice

me as that, ” Loewenson said.

Eddie Jin (10) and Masa Shiiki (10), both on the Cross Country and Outdoor Track teams, run together six times per week and work out afterwards on three of those days, Jin said.

“As a runner, I don’t need to have a bulky physique, so I don’t worry about other guys lifting heavier weights,” Jin said. “For me, it’s not really about peer pressure but the drive to become a faster runner,” he said.

Kelvin Smith (10), who has played basketball since he was three, began working out routinely even before learning about social pressure, he said.

“For me, working out was always about getting better at basketball,” Smith said.

“I personally don’t think it’s common for high school boys to work out because of peer pressure, but for adult males definitely, because I see them lifting all the time,” he said.

Suraj Khakee (10) began to work out

when he realized he had to become bigger and stronger to become a better baseball player, Khakee said.

However, Khakee still feels the slight element of social pressure as his motivation to work out, he said.

“I work out mainly because I’m an athlete. But at the same time, social pressure does affect me implicitly. You want to be active, because being fit is just a part of our culture,” Khakee said.

“I got more aware of the social pressure when I entered high school I guess,” Khakee said. “Guys are expected to work out and to be fit. And when others start working out, you feel like you should do so as well.”

“Social pressure definitely may play a role in guys working out in that guys want to look stronger to others, and because others expect guys to be strong,” Shiiki said.

PREVIEW: The female experience

FITNESS CENTER Students athletes work out after school

Freya Lindvall/Photo Editor

Factors such as social events, social media, appearance ideals, and the stigmas surrounding negative self-conceptions are all realities for students that can impact their body confidence and customs.

From parties to pictures on vacation, many students face the pressure to change their eating or exercise habits to fit an appearance ideal at social gatherings. With the annual paradise island trip spring break trip approaching, some adopt a “piet,” in which they alter their diets and workout routines to lose weight.

In order to destigmatize the conversation surrounding negative body image, recent initiatives such as the Body Project, implemented by Joanna Kuang ’17 and Marissa Parks ’17 in the 2016 – 2017 school year, aimed to open the dialogue surrounding body image and promote positive body talk amongst female students.

Read more about girl’s body image in next week’s issue.

Record Special Issue

UNITY WEEK

12

JANUARY 16TH, 2018

Pronouns, more than “he” and “she” Solomon Katz Staff Writer

On the first day of every school year, many teachers begin their classes with icebreakers, asking students to share their name and what they did over summer vacation; however, few teachers ask students to share their preferred gender pronouns.

“The gender binary is an easy system that has been around for a long time, but it shouldn’t be the status quo,” Rivers Liu (12) said.

Liu has gone up to teachers on several occasions to clarify their preferred gender pronouns, they said.

“Although I’ve found the Horace Mann community to be pretty accepting towards me, it gets annoying to have to keep clarifying my identity to every teacher and student,” Liu said.

Liu recently discussed their gender identity during an assembly, and they wish that everyone could have an outlet, such as icebreakers on the first day of school, to discuss their identity, they said.

“Horace Mann started as an all boys school, and even though it

Ariella Greenberg/Art Director

combined with an all girls school, by expanding the definition of gender, we attempt to deal with the legacy of the distinct binary that was formed,” co-Director of the Office for Identity, Culture, and Institutional Equity (ICIE) John Gentile said.

The ICIE occasionally runs a health class to discuss gender issues. ICIE associates also advise individual teachers how to best create an inclusive environment for students who identify outside of the

gender binary.

The ICIE wants to show teachers how language is an important tool when making people more comfortable via meetings with the Middle Division faculty and grade wide meetings, ICIE associate Sharina Gordon said.

“Gender, like someone’s name, is part of everyone’s identity, so classrooms shouldn’t pretend like it is not,” Gentile said.

“Students may joke about why

classrooms do this, but regardless, we need to look out for this marginalized group because the discrimination they face is no joke and is often violent,” Gordon said.

English teacher Wendy Steiner asks students to share their pronouns in classes and in the club she advises, the Feminist Students Association.

It was awkward at first when asking students for their pronouns, but the fact that it was the right thing to do outweighed any discomfort,

and everyone got used to it with time, Steiner said.

Some students have concerns about the necessity of sharing pronouns.

The school shows plenty of support for people outside the gender binary during history class, English class, assemblies, and the recently created Seminar on Identity (SOI) for juniors, so having students share their gender pronouns at the beginning of the year is excessive, Schuyler Rabbin-Birnbaum (11) said.

Rabbin-Birnbaum also raised possible ramifications of the structure.

“If a student really wanted to come out as outside of the gender binary, they have several outlets for which to do so in the school, but having students state their gender will make those that are closeted and not ready to come out extremely uncomfortable,” Rabbin-Birnbaum said.

Liu thinks that even if one more person felt more comfortable or felt able to come out due to teachers asking students their pronouns, it would be worth it, they said.

Aspects of identity: the impact of non-Western names Nishtha Sharma Staff Writer In fourth grade, JJ Ryu (10) made the personal choice to go by “JJ” rather than her legal name, Jih Su, after she noticed that her peers and teachers failed to make an effort to pronounce her legal name.

“My teachers would always call me totally skewed names that sounded like Jih Su, but weren’t. It really bothered me because I feel like people weren’t even trying to learn my name,” Ryu said.

Names are a large part of students’ identities in the school, and while some students who have nontraditional names choose to go by their given names, others choose to be called a Western name due to mispronunciation name by classmates and teachers.

Although her parents and family still use her Korean name, Ryu feels that she isn’t as immersed in her culture and background as she could be while she continues to identify

differently. “The more I think about it, there probably is a part of my interaction with my culture that I’ve lost because I don’t use my Korean name, but I find it much easier to go by [JJ] since I no longer have to deal with people getting my name wrong, so I think it’s worth it.”

Simon Yang (10) goes by Simon, a name chosen by his parents, to avoid mispronunciations of his Korean name, Hyunseo.

“I decided to go by ‘Simon’ because I knew it was going to be easier for people to pronounce here when I moved from Korea,” he said.

However, when Yang visits Korea, he primarily goes by Hyunseo within his family and older relatives, he said.

“Although there is a divide, having two different names doesn’t really feel that weird to me,” Yang said. “I don’t feel like I’ve lost any touch with my culture going by Simon since the only people who call me [Simon] are my friends, peers, and teachers.

Also, I’ve lived in Korea for most of my life, and I speak Korean at home, so my culture is still a big part of my

Damali O’Keefe/Staff Artist

life.”

However, he faces issues when using FirstClass or Google Drive, he said. When it comes to group projects, or during clubs fair Yang has to specify his real name along with “Simon,” he said. “It becomes a trivial, but problematic issue.”

On the other hand, students like Taussia Boadi (10), Chidimma Rachel Okpara (11), Euwan Kim (10), and Sajan Mehrotra (11), choose to go by their birth names.

Mehrotra finds himself dealing with mispronunciation on many occasions, especially from teachers, Mehrotra said.

Similarily, Boadi “appreciates having a unique name, but…it has come to a point where I’m hardly bothered by [mispronunciation] anymore,” she said. Although her name is recognizable to her and her family, Boadi understands that “in the school environment, people are unfamiliar with both the spelling and pronunciation, so I’ve learned to accept it,” she said.

“I don’t expect people to be immediately familiar with my name, but I think that the proper way to address the issue of mispronunciation is to just ask me how to say it,” Boadi said.

Kim is used to teachers’ mispronouncing her name, “usually for the whole school year. If they don’t get it in the first few weeks, after I try correcting them, and repeating my name, I give up. It doesn’t really annoy me anymore though,” she said.

Okpara often experiences a different reaction to her name from

teachers compared to her peers, she said. “Teachers try pronouncing it, and usually end up getting it wrong because they aren’t used to it, while my peers typically compliment it and ask how to pronounce it.”

However, teachers feel apologetic and ask for the proper pronunciation, Okpara said. “It doesn’t take too long for them to get my name right after the year starts, but it’s especially helpful when they just ask me for clarification.”

“

“I don’t expect people to be immediately familiar with my name, but I think that the proper way to address the issue of mispronunciation is to just ask me how to say it,” -Taussia Boadi (10)

On the first day of school, English teacher Andrew Fippinger asks all of his students how to pronounce their names, Fippinger said. “If it’s a name I haven’t heard before or don’t know how to pronounce, I write it down phonetically.”

“I try to encourage students to tell me if I’ve been mispronouncing their name because it’s not intentional,” Fippinger said. During his first year teaching at the school, he had been pronouncing a student’s name incorrectly for about a month before the student’s friend told him,

Fippinger said. “It was a revelation to me that a student might not feel comfortable telling me themselves.”

If there is a student whose name he doesn’t feel confident pronouncing or if he missed the pronunciation on the first day of school, Fippinger asks them to clarify the pronunciation as soon as possible, he said.

Despite coping with mispronunciation, Boadi never considered using a more Western name because she was unable to find an alternative that “worked for her.”

“Sometimes I’ll let people call me ‘T,’ if that works, but for the most part, I like to go by Taussia,” she said.

“I’m considering going by a more Western name in the future, because I think it will make career opportunities more accessible,” Kim said.

While Okpara prefers to go by her first name, she occasionally allows people to use her middle name, Rachel, although she never considered using any other names aside from those two.

“There definitely is a large part of my cultural identity that’s linked with my name,” Okpara said. “I’m Nigerian, and my name means ‘God is good,’ so it definitely feels nice to show my background through my name. Although it’s not something I think about every day, my name holds a large part of who I am.”

Kim feels that her name is one of the few ways she connects with her culture. “Though I consider myself more American, I’m proud of my relationship with my Korean culture, no matter how inconvenient my name may be.”