FLAMMABLE ‘FORNIA’: A REVELATION When Californication Goes a Little Too Hard

Social media is hard. Every single millennial—aging and married in the image of boomers before them— struggles to compete in a Gen Z game. However, with a bun in the oven, couples can put out their own fire content: a gender reveal party. In a festive and smokefilled revelation five months before the stork’s arrival, one couple’s party was the hottest event on the West Coast, as they celebrated their child’s assigned-atbirth gender this past September 6 at El Dorado Ranch Park in Yucaipa. This gender reveal fire, while clear in its verdict, did not leave southern California with theintended message. It wasn’t a boy. It wasn’t a girl. It was a climate catastrophe.

Just two weeks later, the expecting couple’s “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device” has lit over 22,000 acres ablaze, with only 59% of the wildfire’s

perimeter under control. What should have been just another pink or blue firework explosion instead recalled a similarly destructive Arizona gender reveal fire in 2017.

The orange skies seen up and down the California coast quickly hit national news, as if to call fire and brimstone down upon the earth. Day after day, the fires roar on, no matter how many firefighters are brought to the scene. After firefighter-trained inmates were released early to ease prison density during the pandemic, the El Dorado fire prompted CA Governor Gavin Newsom to sign legislation extending prisoner -firefighters’ employment after their release—the one silver lining in an otherwise smoky sky. And as the expecting couple scorched southern California for a 🔥 react—exchanging a moment of parental pride

When Californication Goes a Little Too Hard

for one of planetary purgatory—their spectacle forces us to reflect on the necessity of such practices at all.

These gender reveal stunts began with one cake. In 2008, blogger Jenna Karvunidis ushered in an era of performative reveals with one cut into a cake, revealing a slice food-colored to “match” the presumed gender of her unborn child—pink for a girl, blue for a boy, and a brilliant orange if the end is nigh. In a moment of awe, the world of “It’s a boy/girl!” banners shattered, and a host of viral stunts ensued, from alligator fights to plane jumps. Anything short of a Gender Reveal Tsunami now pales in comparison to this month's events.

While quite effective at garnering internet fame, this arbitrary ritual reinforces normative gender values. Caught at the crux of a so-called culture war, the gender reveal becomes a technicolored declaration of a child's assigned-at-birth gender. We at the Indy ask that for future socially-distant festivities, you opt for more gender fluid and less lighter fluid. If you must impose a preferred pastel color upon your child, at least leave them some undamaged land to get away from you on. Beyond West Coast tragedies, this past year marks mass fires in the Arctic, Australia, Indonesia, and Argentina, and as the North American fire season ends, the Southern Hemisphere braces itself for its own wintery inferno.

Next time, try a safer outdoor activity for your quarantine gender reveal party: Break out a pinata. If 100 pennies fall out, you’ve got a boy. If you’re 28 cents short of a dollar, tell the fetus sorry, but that’s all they can find for her—there’s a national coin shortage.