DEAR INDY

Dear Indy Presents...

INDIE MIX

If music be the food of love, play on! I don’t really know what that means, but this week’s questions are all about music. Even the most harmonious of relationships have their moments of discord, so it’s a good thing I’m here to prevent any tone-deaf decisions.

Dear Indie,

My boyfriend is in a band, and he’s really invested in it. Unfortunately, the band is terrible. I want to support his passions and aspirations, but I don’t know how to encourage something that I find legitimately awful. On top of that, I’m embarrassed to be seen at his “concerts” and in his ugly homemade merch. What do I do?

Love, Time to Pretend

Dear Time to Pretend,

As a general rule, lying is kind of bad. One lie leads to another lie, and then another, and then you’ve got yourself a whole web of deception, and webs of deception are a big mess to deal with. In your situation, however, I think telling the whole truth—that you think your boyfriend’s band is terrible—would be kind of bad, too.

Is it possible to focus not on the music of the band itself, but rather on your boyfriend’s passion for it? Can you find a way to believe in how much he cares, and maybe not necessarily his bass-playing* skills?

If not, then it’s time to tell the kind-of truth! Tell him you love the energy of his concerts, but the strobe lights are a little too much for you; can you meet him afterward to celebrate? You’d love to sit in on the next rehearsal, but wouldn’t having a significant other in the room throw off the Radiohead incel vibe he’s been aiming for in his music? You think the band t-shirt has a cool design, and even though mustard yellow isn’t your color, you will wear it as pajamas! If full-blown lying is like Spotify Premium, this is like lying with ads. It’s not the real thing, and it’s a little less costly.

*He plays the bass, doesn’t he?

Dear Indie,

Is it possible to catch feelings for someone based on their music taste? I’m currently hooking up with someone I was sure I had zero emotional attachment to—no interest in dating them at all. Then I stalked their Spotify playlists, and now I see them in a totally different light. Am I in love or insane?

Love, First Day of My Life

Dear First Day of My Life,

You know that part of every high school romcom where the nerdy girl takes off her glasses and the doofus-jock love-interest guy realizes she was beautiful the whole time, because prior to this point, for one reason or another, he couldn’t conceptualize what her face looked like without glasses on?

This isn’t like that. I know it must feel like you’re seeing them in a new light (or seeing “New Light” by John Mayer on a playlist entitled “Summer 19 Vibes ”). Is it possible that having better music taste than expected reveals some kind of emotional depth that wasn’t there before? Sure. Well, actually, no, not if they’re listening to John Mayer.

But maybe there is a little more to them than you thought. Does that mean you’re in love, that you’re compatible and meant to be together? Probably not! Is “The Less I Know The Better” by Tame Impala a banger? Yes! Does that mean I’m gonna go kiss every guy who asks me if I’ve ever heard of “The Less I Know The Better”? Actually, maybe, but I really shouldn’t!

The nerdy-girl-taking-off-her-glasses trope works because the doofus-jock already likes her for her quirky, dorky self. The glasses removal moment brings to the surface what he already knew was buried deep down. Unless you already had some deep-down hidden feelings, this new information isn’t enough of a basis for real ones. What you’re feeling isn’t love—it’s just Summer 19 Vibes.

Dear Indie,

How do you make a good playlist?

Love, Hot & Heavy

Dear Hot & Heavy,

The College Hill Independent takes a strong stance against sex playlists. Why do you want to hear someone else’s disembodied voice while you’re having sex? Why do you want to interrupt the moment while you wait to hear the JBL speaker-turning-on noise? Why do you want to risk getting thrown off rhythm because the beat of the music is the wrong speed? Or risk having it shuffle in a bad order? Why do you want to think about your ill-advised first-semester friends with benefits arrangement every time you hear a certain song on the radio? Don’t do it.

But if you really must do it, use a Spotify-generated one. Then you can’t be blamed for any wreckage that occurs. Don’t say Indie didn’t warn you.