G WINTER 2018 • FREE
Z
Q SUPPLEMENT TO THE INLANDER
GEAR
Hot gadgets for the dark days of winter
STRAINS
The ones that keep you coming back for more
GAMES
Video games that play well with weed
CINDER
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OPEN DAILY 8AM - 11PM
SPOKANE VALLEY | 1421 N. Mullan Road (509) 241-3726
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This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the innuence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of the reach of children.
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WINTER 2018 COVER ARTIST Chrysta Kay ART DIRECTOR Derek Harrison
W
hile mixed messages have been coming out of the other Washington, leaders in the Evergreen State have made their loyalties clear: They will defend the will of the people, who voted in 2012 to legalize marijuana. And so, for the most part, it’s business as usual, with those in the industry confident that history, and momentum, are on their side. Meanwhile, enjoy this latest of GZQ. Don’t miss our story on cold-weather gear (page 4), bacon-banana muffins that will warm your soul (page 6), strains that caught our attention in 2017 (page 10) and video games that play well with weed (page 14). Plus, Meet Your Budtender (page 8) and see how state lawmakers have cracked down on the ways retailers can advertise their products (page 12).
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PAGE 4
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PAGE 14
INLANDER
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BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 Initiative 502 and Senate Bill 5052). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington state, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects; there may be health risks associated with its consumption, and it may be habit-forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Keep out of reach of children. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.
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GREENLIGHTSPOKANE.COM 509.309.3193 HOURS: OPEN 8AM TO 11PM EVERYDAY
WARNING: This product has intoxicating affects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For USE only by adults 21 and older. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.
WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
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GEAR
Into the Wild Hot gear and gadgets for the cold BY TUCK CLARRY 1. BLACK ROCK ORIGINALS SAFETY CASE 2.0 With Black Rock’s Safety Case, you can say with confidence that you came prepared. The complete pack offers nearly every accoutrement a smoker may desire when they’re out in the wild. Ditch the weighted grinder for the case’s credit-card-style grinder. Fret not about finding a suitable clutch with a 25-count supply of rolling tips. And you can load up two pebble cases for loose flower. It’s also smell-proof if you’re a little too self-aware. Add the non-stick silicone mat for extracts and the rolling papers, and you’ll never be in a pinch. 2. DOPEST HOODIE EVER MADE When you’re out in the cold, layering is key. And as you bundle up, why not go the utilitarian route with Rolla Wear’s Dopest Hoodie Ever Made pullover? The sweatshirt boasts a stash pocket inside the hood, and a built-in rolling tray inside the central front pocket. Which means less gear to worry about. Oh yeah, and save your burnt ends with the drawstrings that double as roach clips. 3. IOLITE WISPR 2 You may be like many skiers and snowboarders who prefer a vaporizer as a means to stay fueled out on the mountain. One of the problems of using vaporizers is that their lithium batteries just don’t hold up in colder weather. Ditch the juice with the WISPR 2, which utilizes butane as its form of heat. The flower vaporizer also benefits from a larger chamber, which means longer windows for you to relax. The mouthpiece is also detachable, making the vape easily stored in a chest pocket. 4. VERTLY CBD INFUSED LIP AND SKIN BALM Cold winds sink unprotected lips — or something like that. But chapped and cracked lips are no joke, especially when further dried out by smoking and cottonmouth. Vertly’s 25 mg CBD-infused lip balm is a great option to protect yourself when dealing with the wind and sun. The balm is made of natural and organic ingredients, and doubles as a skin balm if you’re feeling a headache coming on. 5. COFFEE MUG PIPE Save space by utilizing this dual-purpose stainless steel travel mug. Start your day with a necessary 12 ounces of coffee to be lively and caffeinated and then extend the piece into a two-and-a-halffoot-long water pipe. You can get a massive rip in and then be on your way, a definite perk for those outdoors folks who don’t want to stop once they get out there. n
4 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
MUNCHIE MONDAY 20% OFF EDIBLES
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1305 S Hayford Rd, Airway Heights, WA 99224 509.474.1050 “At the corner of Hayford Rd and HWY 2, attached to the Exxon Station.” This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of reach of children.
WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
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EDIBLES
GET BAKED:
Bacon Banana Muffins
Weed-infused coconut oil meets bananas and candied bacon for these mini muffin edibles BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL
YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
6 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
W
hat this recipe has going for it — bacon, banana, Blueberry Blast — could and probably should be emphasized with all the intensity of Jim from The Office pretending to be Dwight Schrute, coining the phrase, “Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” Not only is there bacon atop these mighty mini muffins, but that bacon is candied. And instead of melted butter or vegetable oil, this recipe subs in coconut oil infused with weed. You can make your own by heating ground-up bud and coconut oil in a slow cooker for 5-plus hours on low, then straining and saving it in the fridge or freezer for later. If all goes well, the marriage of tropical fruits helps dampen the grassy flavor of the weed, while the salty-sweet combo of the candied bacon delights the taste buds. This recipe should net you about 24 to 30 mini muffins, which you can freeze in an airtight container and reheat later as wanted. As always, until you know how strong your oil or edibles turn out, start with a very small portion and wait up to a few hours for the full effects to hit you before trying more. Better to go under-board than over.
BAKED BACON BANANA MUFFINS 1 cup all-purpose flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp salt ½ cup weed-infused coconut oil ½ cup sugar ¼ cup sour cream 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 large eggs 2 large, ripe bananas, mashed
FOR THE CANDIED BACON
½ lb bacon, baked until crispy and cut into generous bits 3 tbsp of butter cup of brown sugar
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, stir together weed-infused coconut oil with sugar, then add the vanilla extract and sour cream, stirring until smooth and uniform. Add the eggs and combine. Sprinkle baking powder, baking soda and salt over mixture, and stir to combine. Then add half a cup of flour at a time, stirring until just combined. Add in the bananas until mixed, and set aside for a moment. For the candied bacon, put 3 tbsp of butter in a large nonstick skillet on medium low, and just after the butter is melted and starting to bubble, add in the brown sugar. Turn the heat up to medium and stir the mixture constantly with a heat-proof spatula or wooden spoon until it starts to bubble up and change color. Add the bacon bits, turn off the heat, and stir quickly to coat the pieces of bacon in the mixture before it starts to cool, then spread pieces on a baking sheet so they’re separated. Pour the muffin mix into a well-greased mini-muffin tin and top each with a piece or two of the candied bacon, then pop the tray into the oven for about 10 to 14 minutes, until golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean. n
MUNCHIE MONDAY 20% OFF EDIBLES TANKER TUESDAY $15 CARTRIDGES (SOME RESTRICTIONS MAY APPLY)
WAXY WEDNESDAY 20% OFF CONCENTRATES THIRSTY THURSDAY 20% OFF ALL DRINKS FIRE FRIDAY 20% OFF BUDTENDER PICK SUN 10A-11P • MON - SAT 8:30A-12A TOKERFRIENDLYSPOKANE.COM (509) 244-8728 1515 S. LYONS RD AIRWAY HEIGHTS Warning: This product has intoxicating affects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For USE only by adults 21 and older. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.
WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
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PEEPS
Meet Your Budtender Q&A with Derek Nunez, a budtender at Lucky Leaf Co. BY JASON STILL INLANDER: How long have you been a budtender? NUNEZ: Probably about 5 months now, not long really.
tomer — that’s how I got this job here. Are there any products you are especially excited about? I really like Lilac City bud — it’s my favorite and I really like Blue Root dab stuff. I dab a lot, but it’s all preference. Honey crystals, oleum and sugar waxes are what I like but it’s all a preference.
What did you do before becoming a budtender? I did construction. I lived in South Carolina, you know, all over really. I ended up over here and got into budtending, which was way cooler. I was a project manager, but they wanted me to move to Boise and I didn’t want to move.
What kind of customers are your favorites? Being downtown you get all different types all the time and I work a lot, like split shifts and stuff, so mornings are way different than night time. My least favorite is probably drunk people, but other than that I am good with most people.
Where does your passion for cannabis come from? I’ve always smoked. I’ve always been around it and I was here all the time as a cus-
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the gets for Hot gad of winter s dark day
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you s that keep e mor The one back for coming
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THE REGIONʼS LEGAL CANNABIS MARKETPLACE
8 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING? Advertising@Inlander.com • 509.325.0634 ext. 215
What kind of questions are you asked by your customers? I’m good at asking my questions right away, so I know how to narrow it down with people. Price might be a huge deal to people. You know, does taste matter a whole lot? If you smoke blunts you are probably cool with outdoor weed. It’s just little questions I ask them to see what they are looking for.
Welcome to the Top! 163 Strains: Variety Counts!
When do you predict the rest of the country will follow through with legalization? I think it’s going to happen everywhere for sure. I think the huge tax benefits pay for lots of roads. There’s just a ton of benefits in having it be legal versus illegal. Like even down in New Orleans it’s become decriminalized. I think what happens is it just needs to become the norm in places first before people jump on it. Everyone wants to say no first. What surprised you most about this job? I guess just how fast you catch onto it. Everyone’s surprised how you know all this stuff [about marijuana], but it’s because you work all the time. Think about the people who work at Home Depot who work in the hardware that remember about all those screws — that’s crazy — but they’re there everyday so that makes it easy. You learn a lot being in this environment everyday. n
Spokane County Location 3 Miles from WA / ID border I-90 Liberty Lake Exit #276
Grant County Location 955 W Broadway Moses Lake I-90 Moses Lake Exit #176
Warning: This product has intoxicating effects & may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, & judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 years & older. Keep out of reach of children.
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3310 AUBURN WAY N. • 253-249-7730 “Warning: This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of reach of children. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.”
WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
9
SPOKANE’S NEWEST EDIBLE
LOOKS LIKE A BUD BUT IT’S SERIOUS CHOCOLATE
STRAINS
The Sampler Platter Strains that caught — and kept — our attention in 2017
FIND THEM AT: SATIVA SISTERS THE TOP SHELF SPOKANE SPOKANE VALLEY AIRWAY HEIGHTS GREEN LEAF NORTH SPOKANE
FOR ADDITIONAL LOCATIONS, CALL US AT
Henderson Distribution, Inc. | 509.535.3204 WARNING: This product has intoxicating affects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For USE only by adults 21 and older. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.
SPOKANE CANNABIS LEADER! Day one
Something for everyone, and at every price!
Proud to be One of Spokane’s Original Cannabis Retailers! See why Green Star Cannabis is a respected star in the industry. Specializing in indoor, hand-trimmed products. Exceptional Budtenders!
(509) 919-3398 GreenStarCan.com Mon–Sat 9–10 | Sun 10–8 1403 N. Division St., Ste. A Spokane, WA 99202 +21 and over. This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults twentyone and older. Keep out of the reach of children.
10 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
BY TUCK CLARRY
GG4
Formerly named after the adhesive you’d find at hardware stories, GG4 is a weighty sedative strain that will get you glued down wherever you spark up. The hybrid’s earthy flavor also carries a piney and pungent scent. A great option to help you unwind or at the very least relax.
ALASKAN THUNDER F---
With a name like this, you know what you’re getting yourself into. The heavy sativa is a great and mindful high while packing a punch at normally 20 percent THC. It’ll leave you relaxed while also euphoric and jazzed. The perfect one-hitter.
GSC
If you’re looking for the best bang for your buck in terms of staying medicated, look no further. The high THC indicadominant hybrid provides a body-melting high that will leave you cozily plotted on the couch. The strain also benefits from the sativa side’s euphoria and mood-enhancing elements. A definite aid in dealing with anxiety and stress.
BLUE DREAM
This sativa-dominant hybrid is a perfect option for personal and social use. Blue Dream benefits by its parents’ painrelief indica (Blueberry) and energetic sativa (Haze). The sweet smell ushers in a mellow pick-me-up that can be carried on throughout the day. A great option for those needing pain relief and wanting to still be mindful and taskorientated.
DURBAN POISON
Few things enhance the Pacific Northwest quite like a toke and hike. The sativa strain Durban Poison seems like the ideal match as the euphoric stimulator will leave you want-
ing to explore like no other. The strain offers an uplifting high without any of the fogginess.
DUTCH TREAT
Sometimes all you’re asking for is something to look forward to at the end of the day. This hybrid originated in Dutch coffee shops and is a rewarding high for those looking to calm down after a stressful day. Lighting it up offers a pleasant pine and fruit mixture that ushers in a quick, heady high that leaves an uplifting and relaxing high behind it.
Angel’s
CINEX
Bail Bonds
Another stimulating sativa, this strain is a great option for those who spark up prior to entering creative exercises. This strain is known as a euphoric and energetic high that can get your day off on the right foot. Incredibly popular in Washington, Cinex is a great option for those with social anxiety who want a way to relax without feeling sluggish. For those who enjoy exercising while medicated, this is a strain to absolutely consider.
SOUR DIESEL
It’s hard to imagine a time where Sour Diesel will not be the de facto strain of choice for the outdoors. The strain is going on over 20 years now and shows no signs of losing favor. Known for its pungent diesel smell, the sativa gives a heavy high without any of the couch-lock. The heady high is perfect for adventurers seeking detours and excursions that take up the day. It offers long-lasting pain relief with it’s dreamy haze that its users thrive in. n
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815 N MONROE ST • SPOKANE, WA 99201 WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
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NEWS
You Can’t Use Kitties To Sell Weed State advertising rules ban pot leaves on billboards — and plenty of other advertising techniques BY DANIEL WALTERS
P
lenty of pot shops went the easy route: Slap a pot leaf on a billboard, add some psychedelic colors and call it good. But the billboard for one Tacoma shop was a little more clever, featuring an adorable kitty cat, with a “Thug Life” tag around its neck, smirking beside a big, glowing phrase, “I’M SO HIGH RIGHT MEOW.” State Rep. Joyce McDonald, R-Puyallup, had no doubt about it: These sorts of ads were trying to sell drugs to kids. “That’s immoral, unconscionable. … For children who are learning to read and focusing on reading skills, they read every billboard they see around them,” McDonald says. “The message they’re getting is that it’s OK for them to ingest and smoke marijuana.” So last legislative session, she pushed an amendment that would have banned every single marijuana billboard in the state. “We’re not allowed to advertise cigarettes on billboards,” McDonald says. “Why are we allowed to advertise marijuana on billboards?” The amendment passed Washington’s House, but never made it through the Senate. Nevertheless, state Rep. David Sawyer, the Democrats’ lead on most marijuana legislation in the House, says a bill that did pass added “pretty extreme restrictions on advertising.” There were already restrictions on marketing to children. But the new rules, which took effect last July, got more specific, banning advertising with toys, movie or cartoon characters. They ban exterior signs — like billboards — from featuring any pot leaves at all. No joints, bongs or other marijuana products either. Weed shops also can’t legally intentionally advertise to out-of-state residents. Sign spinners can’t stand outside weed shops. And those shops can’t use commercial mas-
n Too cute for its own good? JOYCE McDONALD PHOTO cots, animals or mechanical devices to catch the attention of drivers passing by. The days of 15-foot-high inflatable pot leaves are over. Only two signs, limited to just over 11 square feet, are allowed — and they can’t be within a thousand feet of schools, arcades, parks, playgrounds, public transit centers, or any publicly owned or operated property. “It’s pretty draconian,” Sawyer says about the sweep of the bill. Though he says he supports restrictions against advertising to kids, he says he opposed a full-scale billboard ban. “During negotiations, all I asked was, give the industry a chance,” Sawyer says. “These are legal businesses that are generally trying to do the right thing.” The new rules, however, still force the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board to make judgment calls. “Our enforcement officers spent an inordinate
12 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
amount of time last year, dealing with advertising complaints,” says Liquor and Cannabis Board spokesman Brian Smith. And most of the time? It’s friendly fire. “It’s usually one [marijuana] business telling on another business,” Smith says. “There’s a lot of finger pointing.” Some pot shops welcome the new rules. Sothy Hul, owner of Smokane, says she understands why parents get upset about certain weed billboards. “A parent has to answer questions from their children,” Hul says. “What is that? Why is that there?” Smokane always sought to project a professional image, she says, so the new rules don’t affect her. “As a business owner I like that these rules are really stringent,” Hul says. “There are people who don’t play by the rules and take advantage.” n
Pot farmers Crystal and Kevin Oliver worry about new fees from the regional Clean Air Agency. HECTOR AIZON PHOTO
Something Smells The Spokane Regional Clean Air Agency approved new fees for marijuana growers BY WILSON CRISCIONE
A
aron Juhl says he’s invested his life savings into a small indoor marijuana grow called FunkY Farms, in Deer Park. His profit margin is thin. And if he had to pay hundreds, or thousands, of dollars to the Spokane Clean Air agency, he doesn’t think he could have started the business at all. “I don’t think I would have been able to do this,” Juhls says. Juhls tried to explain that story to the Spokane Regional Clean Air Agency on Jan. 4. Other farmers had similar complaints. But the agency still decided to start charg-
ing fees in 2018 that could cost marijuana producers and processors in the county up to $1,250. And next year? Some farms could pay as much as $5,000. “It’s another fee and another regulation for the farmers who are already struggling under the weight of overtaxation and overregulation,” says Crystal Oliver, owner of a pot farm north of Spokane. The clean air agency is charging the fees to pay for its response to complaints of odor emitting from certain farms. The agency proposed the rules in the fall, after they said it received more than 300 marijuana odor complaints from July 2014 until August 2017. A majority of those complaints, however, came from neighbors around only a couple of farms. Julie Oliver, executive director of the clean air agency, says the volume of complaints put a strain on the five agency inspectors. It also cost the agency hundreds of thousands of dollars during that period. As part of the new rules adopted by the agency’s four-member board of directors, people growing and packaging cannabis
must register with the agency and pay an initial registration fee ranging from $750 to $1,250. Those rules go into effect this year. The board also approved an annual registration fee starting next year that, depending on what kind of farm it is, ranges from a fee of $528 to nearly $5,000. But that annual registration fee, the board decided, will be suspended until the agency can further study its impact on local businesses. The members of the board who unanimously passed the resolution included Spokane County Commissioner Al French, Spokane Valley Mayor Rod Higgins, Millwood Mayor Kevin Freeman and citizen Tom Brattebo. In addition to the fees, the farmers object to having to offer harvest schedules to the clean air agency, feeling it could put the security of the farm in danger. But the clean air agency maintains that information is necessary for enforcement. “I understand the concern of having to report the harvest schedule,” French told farmers on Thursday. “It’s important because if you’re not in a harvest, then there’s no reason for us to go out and inspect.” The clean air board insisted that the agency will keep examining how the fees should be charged. French noted that the industry is “still in flux,” referencing the decision Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced recently to roll back the Obamaera policy guiding marijuana enforcement in states where it has been legalized. Crystal Oliver, the marijuana farmer, is not optimistic that the more time the clean air agency devotes to determining fees will result in lower costs to local farms. “I don’t know many regulatory agencies who lower fees,” she says. n
WINTER 2018 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY
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CULTURE of a 3-year-old, is, incidentally, quite well suited for inebriated adults. The premise of Prop Hunt, a PC game, is pretty simple. You disguise yourself as a simple household object (say, a potted plant). The rest of your pals scurry around and try to find you (hence, the hunting of props). This devolves into a rollercoaster of emotion. Your friends are smacking filing cabinets and kicking over chairs while you snicker in a corner as a ficus. You can get up and move around too. For high people, a potted plant shuffling around a corner is the epitome of hilarity.
MINECRAFT Overcooked
High Scores Video games that play well with weed BY SARAH MUNDS OVERCOOKED
Do you like hamburgers? Does the high version of you like hamburgers? Do you like cute little animal avatars running around and cooking things in a quirky game of “assemble the hamburger?” Of course you do. Sounds suspiciously too simple? You’re right. I have played Overcooked stoned. I have played it drunk. I have played it sober, depressed, manic, distracted, in Las Vegas, at home on the couch, with boyfriends, with friends, with girlfriends, with parents, and with children. Overcooked scales pretty well with your mental state — great for when you want to play something with your 7-year-old niece and also great to play when you’re Mary Jane-ed in another dimension.
THE SIMS 3
I spent a not-insignificant amount of time in college crafting a futuristic, propaganda-enlaced nightmare universe whilst under the influence of marijuana. But I am dark and brooding, so a modern hellscape from which no Sim can escape just really fit my vibe. You, on the other hand, could take The Sims a number of happier, less creepy directions. You can raise a
family! You can craft a loving and happy community! This game is loosely centered around Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which implies your Sims can inevitably reach full personal enlightenment. Coincidental, because you’ll be reaching a danker, greener version of enlightenment of your own.
[INSERT TYPE HERE] SIMULATORS Farming Simulator, Goat Simulator, longhaul-trucking simulators, Rollercoaster Tycoon… the list is infinite. If you want a simulator for something, a simulator probably exists, just like porn and the variety of deep-fried foods at a county fair. After you’ve set down the bong and have ascended to I-can’t-feel-my-tootsies levels of blazed, simulators step in as that charming little helper to transcend consciousness. Your sense of self-awareness can get dangerously close to “I am a rollercoaster builder in an oddly ’90s dystopia of OSHA regulations!” “I am a goat!” “I am a farmer, minus all of the manual labor and having to go outside!”
PROP HUNT
Hide-and-seek, with dangerously simple rules that requires the cognitive abilities
14 GREEN ZONE QUARTERLY WINTER 2018
Roll your eyes at the blunt obviousness of this choice, but Minecraft is the pinnacle of man’s achievements in gaming. Feeling artsy? Get in creative mode and build the fairy princess tower of your dreams. Feeling antsy? Go explore new areas of the map. Feeling farmy (and you didn’t already install Farm Simulator 17 like I told you to)? Go wrangle chickens. Tame a horse. Set up a farm. Feeling extra, superduper creative? Install a mod pack or jump on a modded server (when you’re sober-ish), and get lost in the extended, beautiful creativity of a lovingly crafted mod pack created by the most innocent of souls. Or suffer in the pure, uncut Machiavellian horror on someone else’s fighting arena survival server. It’s all there, my dankrupted friends.
GALAGA
Who hasn’t spent hours and hours on end shooting little space shippies out of the 2D, endless eternity of space? Galaga and weed are an obvious pairing. Luckily, Galaga usually comes as a bundle with other classic arcade games — as if you’d need anything else but Galaga. But whatever, plebes.
YE OLDE FIGHTING GAME
There are two thousand and one fighting games that harken from the dawn of gaming to the present hour. Everyone has That One Fighting Game that they’ve mastered. You know all the controls. You have calculated the precise strengths and weaknesses of every character in the roster. You dressed up as one of those characters last year at Comic Con. You argue whether Character X pairs best when pitted against Character Y or Z. Pop that disc in and get high, baby. Pick friends who don’t know the game well and feel like the God you are as you smash their avatars and self-esteems into oblivion. n
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This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of the reach of children.