I SAW YOU

TO THE SKY GOD I saw you smokin’ your cocoa baton stogies from the old year into the new. We sent 2020 packing with a giant octopus, a shark, and a dancing skeleton, and welcomed 2021 with a game of Peek-a-boo in a downpour. You are my greatest adventure. And all I can think to say? “Hi. I like you.” We’ll make it through this, count on it. Know that you are loved.

DOUG FUNNIE AT THE TARGET It was brief, but I passed you at Target and I hope I didn’t make you feel self-conscious when I giggled. You were humming/whistling the theme song to the cartoon show Doug, and I couldn’t help my smile as nostalgia overtook me. Thank you for giving a stranger a smile without even realizing it. You’ve got good taste, friend!S A FRIEND YOU WANTED NOT THE LOVER I DID.

CHEERS

MASK SMILE I apologize to the woman in My Fresh Basket last Tuesday. You were getting something cooked at the deli counter, and I made a snarky remark. Though I made it as a joke, I realized after I walked away that you couldn’t see my smile. So looking forward to the future where we can share comments/jokes/ snarks, ... and smiles again. Peace. NICE WORK, REPRESENTATIVE Good for you, Representative. You didn’t object to certification of the Electoral College results. It probably feels good to demonstrate you have a backbone along with some moral authority over the 120 representatives that support a right-wing fascist government.

CHEERS TO ------- Cheers to whoever it was that decided NOT to have an armed force waiting at the Capitol for the Pretend Patriots. If there had been soldiers, if there had been SWAT, if they had started shooting, even with legitimate reason, it would have been like 9/11 and Kent State had a baby. I cannot imagine the gut-wrenching imagery of Americans killing Americans on the steps of the Capitol!

PLANT FARM POINSETTIAS There I was, frosting Christmas cookies on Christmas Eve when I heard a knock on my door and saw a white van in front of my house. After wiping the remnants of colorful sugar of my hands, I hurried to the door where, through the half opened blinds, I saw a silhouette of a person holding some type of object. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a woman holding a bouquet of fully matured, white leaved poinsettias. It was enormous! The plant was full, healthy and so beautiful. Imagine my surprise when the woman said, “Merry Christmas from the greenhouse.” After a few seconds of shock, I replied, “really, for me?” and before I knew it, I was holding the poinsettias, and she was off in her van to the next house. The greenhouse she was referring to was the Plant Farm, which is a few blocks from where I live. In these days where it seems like nothing is free and people can’t seem to catch a break, what a refreshing surprise to have a local business travel around their neighborhood delivering a gift like this to brighten people’s spirits. Thank you to the Plant Farm. The plant is still the centerpiece on my table, full as the day it was delivered.

INTERNET HEROS Cheers to the people who sleuthed around the internet and helped authorities identify many of the Capitol insurgents last week. That right there is people being awesome and using their internet powers for good! Some of us rible outcomes. What — if anything — can again by mail in ballots tenth year in don’t have internet powers. Thank you for be done to slow this dizzying descent into a row. Must be fixed. You have added helping us all! national chaos? Should we ask ourselves $8,000,000,000,000 to the debt but whether jeering at the other side, even if it today you do not to give any more then JEERS feels good in the moment, even if it’s just about a trivial matter, is going to change $600 to people who have lost everything. It has been 127 days since Malden and anything or anyone? Pine City have burned. I hope they don’t DIRTY Little secret. To the married spend this largesse from you foolishly. “dudes” putting up your hotties in cutesie-condos. Your wives know. To the involved guys claiming you’re single on UNITED MY ASS Been a heck of a week huh? Covid continues to spread like wildfire. We, the people of the United States DUMPING THE AMERICAN FLAG The Cult Leader called TDUMP and his antipatriotic, violent, racist, sexist, cult fol“ What — if anything — can be done to slow this dizzying descent into national chaos? ” “sites.” Your S.O.s are chatting with your of America, are number one, numero uno, lowers have trashed the American Flag. hookies!. Not so secret...at all. Dirty yes, top dog, in cases and deaths around the I have never seen so many atrocious flag but very clearly seen. World. Way to do. We are sooo smart crimes in all of my life as I have seen in and pompous. Oh yeah...then there’s the last 4 years. Never!...do you Ever!... CMR: TOO LITTLE TOO LATE Plenty of us the domestic terrorists who call them- fly any other flag with the American flag! knew from the 2015 presidential cam- selves Law and Order people, among Ever! Flying Dump flags anywhere close paign that Donald Trump was a sick and other things, who stormed the Capitol to the American flag is unacceptable dangerous man. So don’t expect a pat on and caused the deaths of five people. and a pathetic, horrible irony. If you do the back for accepting that while you’re Egged on by a president who thinks grab- this you are un-American and should be sheltering in the tunnels of the Capitol bing a woman’s genitals is okay, gave- fined and go to jail. You are a criminal. Building at the 11th hour. Cathy McMorris up on the pandemic, and fomented a These DUMP F#%KS arrived at Our White Rodgers has been a Trump sycophant riot. Apparently Republican pimp CMR House did this and worse. Confederate for the last four years. It is time for her to believes that Twitter’s decision to block flags! American Flag Upside Down! Flags go! The citizens of the 5th Congressional Trump for live is censorship. You cannot on the ground! American flags replaced District deserve someone with a spine and shout FIRE in a theatre because (Supreme with DUMP flags! American flags with a conscience. Court, Oliver Wendell Holmes, 1918) “The snakes on them! Even altered flags with question in every case is whether the a blue line is absolutely not right in any JEERS ... TO “JEERS”? The very first thing words used are used in such circum- way! OMG! All my Veteran Friends are I read in the Inlander is “Jeers” — I’ve stances and are of such a nature as to Appalled! This is a massive trashing of even had a few published on this page create a clear and present danger that our Symbol of Freedom, Democracy and — but I am beginning to think the self they will bring about the substantive evils Country. n righteous pleasure it evokes in me when that Congress has a right to prevent.” By I read something I like (and the anger I feel when it’s something I don’t) is, to the way CMR, where were you when your Republican Brothers and Sisters stormed THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS quote The Godfather, “a little dangerous.” the House? These United States. Beacon B A W L D E A L T S K I M I am no Pollyanna about human nature and our capacity for violence and willful ignorance. Free speech is central to our to the world. Being torn-apart by politics led by a maniacal president. United we stand, divided we fall. United? My ass. O N E S B O U T O R D I E M O N A R T I N A M B L G A T E A T K A Y S O N S N P A R U W A I R O N M E L I S democracy, but we have seen this week U T E U S E L U T E S how unbridled and incendiary speech, $600??? Dear Cathy Must Retire, You P O R R A V I S H G I N A when lies are repeated until they become make $174,000 a year. Corporate gave R O G E R A I L S plausible to the gullible, can lead to ter- you $3,303,000 to get re-elected F B R O I F A F O S E R G A E S I L B R L E O V I S A A C H A Y S J D A T E F A T T E R A D O O V E R I L A Y L E B R O N J A M S L Y L E L A B E L O D I E E N L S O S A G E S O N E

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