Inlander 09/04/2014 by The Inlander

SEPTEMBER 4-10, 2014 | FOUNDED IN ’93

INSIDE

SPOKANE’S COSTLY PORN FIGHT

| UNCLE LeROY’S BBQ

| DIE HARD

| RANTLAND: TV TRADE SEASON

2 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

INSIDE

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SEPTEMBER 4-10, 2014 | VOL. 21, NO. 46

COMMENT NEWS COVER STORY CULTURE FOOD FILM MUSIC

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ON THE COVER | CHRIS BOVEY ILLUSTRATION

COMMENT

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Culture is identity. And identity fuels cities. So, what’s fueling us?

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A look at the most anticipated movies for the rest of 2014 PAGE 42

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DO YOU BELIEVE THAT SASQUATCH EXISTS? SAMANTHA MUSGROVE

Absolutely not. I’m a very practical person and all of those creatures are just made up.

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COREY SHOVER Yeah, I like to believe that Sasquatch exists. It’s a fun, mysterious subject. But it would be sad if people had dedicated their lives to searching for a Bigfoot and he didn’t even exist. I’ll stay optimistic for them.

Caleb Walsh

ILLUSTRATOR

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GEMMA PAECH I don’t think so. It’s just a mythical thing, like the Loch Ness Monster. What would it take to change your mind? Nothing, really. There are supposed pictures and fur, but I don’t buy it. Maybe if it were in a zoo in front of me I would change my mind.

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CAROLYN WOODMANSEE No, I don’t believe in Bigfoot. What would it take to change your mind? I would need to see him live and in person; photographs can be doctored.

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There are still a lot of animals and species that we haven’t discovered yet, so Sasquatch could still exist out there. Maybe they are really nice! I could keep it as a pet and make it move heavy things for me.

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PRODUCTION Wayne Hunt (x232) PRODUCTION MANAGER Alissia Blackwood Mead (x228), Derrick King (x238), Jessie Spaccia (x205), Tom Stover (x265) GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

INTERVIEWS BY MOLLY SMITH AND JENNA MULLIGAN 08/28/14, PIG OUT IN THE PARK

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 5

COMMENT | POLITICS

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According to Newt

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ewt Gingrich’s visit to Cathy McMorris Rodgers’ Aug. 13 fundraiser was quite timely. Twenty years ago this November, the 5th District voted Tom Foley out of office, thus ending our 15 minutes of fame — and influence. Marching into the nation’s Capitol was Newt Gingrich; wrapped in the Confederate Stars and Bars, he opposed “those federals” and declared victory for the “moral majority” and right-thinking people everywhere. Gingrich channeled Ronald Reagan, who said, “Government is not the solution. Government is the problem.” Once in office, however, Reagan went on a defense-spending binge the likes of which America hadn’t seen since World War II. Coupled with his huge tax cuts, the national debt doubled. Amazingly, Reagan pulled this off during peacetime — an American first. Enter Gingrich and his “Contract With America.” His major accomplishment as Speaker of the House? He shut down the government. Gingrich used the South, and the South became the Republican Party. The South put Gingrich into office and has kept his agenda chugging along ever since. Check the numbers: Absent the South, Democrats today would control the Senate by upwards of perhaps 25 votes instead of the uneasy eight-vote margin they now have. And over in the House? Democrats would be looking at perhaps a 30-vote majority. Thus, our present political reality: Newt = the South = the Republican Party = Cathy McMorris Rodgers.

t’s no secret that ever since the Civil War, Newt Gingrich’s South has enjoyed national political influence way beyond its population base. Gingrich took full advantage. His tactic? Phony scandal-mongering: “Whitewater,” “Who killed Vince Foster,” “Travelgate” and “Monicagate.” In the end President Clinton was exonerated, but so what? Anything to avoid the real business of governing while feeding the trolls along the way. Polarization ensued. It was Gingrich, not Reagan, who shoved America’s politics away from “come let us reason together,” “let’s make a deal” and “we can find some common ground.” Out with the world of Reagan and Foley, in with the world according to Newt. Fronting for the antifederal government South, Gingrich didn’t just disagree with Tom Foley; his strategy called for attacking the institutions that defined Tom Foley. The beat got louder when Barack Obama was elected in 2008. Now the South was really riled up. As one observer put it, it isn’t “racism” so much as “place-ism.” Obama didn’t know his place, therefore he was “uppity” — even worse. So the South, aka the Republican Party, treats America to another round of phony scandals. Think of the time and money wasted on “birthers” and “Benghazigate.” That “scandal” having gone nowhere, they’re now planning to

sue the president. Some are actually talking about impeachment. More wasted time and money. In the meantime, they do nothing about immigration, nothing to improve health care (except to pass meaningless “repeal Obamacare” resolutions), nothing about infrastructure, nothing about climate change (and why bother, since 65 percent of white evangelicals believe in “end days”). Equal pay for women? Women’s reproductive rights? Forget it. Growing inequality? God’s will, apparently. Influenced as they are by Southern fatalism, Republicans reject the very idea of commonweal. Call it the politics of the New Right. Whatever it is, it turns Tip O’Neill on his head. O’Neill famously remarked that “All politics is local.” The New Right heads in a different direction: All politics is ideological, packaged in Orwellian doublespeak. Loyal spear-carrier Cathy McMorris Rodgers often leads with “I’m back there fighting Washington.” In fact, she is Washington.

odgers’ district looks much like Newt’s South: low income, high poverty, lots of labor exploitation in between, with hatred of the federal government except when it’s dressed in military garb. Spokane, the most “affluent” county in the 5th District, ranks 14th out of 39 counties statewide in per capita income, and lower than that in average family income. The six most sparsely populated counties are among the poorest: Ferry is second to last, with Pend Oreille, Asotin, Columbia, Garfield and Lincoln not much better. And how does McMorris Rodgers deal with these dismal demographics and lack of economic opportunity? On cue, she votes to cut food stamps, cut the community block grant program, votes against equal pay for women, votes to make it more costly for women to obtain contraception (which has the greatest impact on the poor) and ducks out completely on immigration reform. She didn’t bother to vote on the Dream Act at all. Oh, and the irony of all this? That damnable Washington has actually thrived, with much of the credit owed to Reagan and Gingrich. It’s not by some accident that the D.C. suburbs have become the highest-income counties in America, with four out of the top five. Since 2007, Loudoun County, Virginia, has had the highest average family income in America — almost $26,000 a year higher than Santa Clara County in California. Yes, that Santa Clara County — as in Silicon Valley and firms like Apple and Google. Never before has hating the government been such a booming business. n

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Sculpted By Poverty BY TED S. MCGREGOR JR.

he American sculptor James Earle Fraser grew up on the Western frontier in the 1880s. His father worked for the railroad, punching a connection to the West Coast. Young James watched as Native Americans were shoved aside; in his memoir, he recalls an old trapper telling him, “The Indians will someday be pushed into the Pacific Ocean.” That chilling image stuck with him, and in his teens Fraser started playing with a design that became his iconic sculpture End of the Trail. With its exhausted Indian slumped over his horse, looking over what could be the edge of the continent, it was Fraser’s comment on a grave injustice. Like all great art, it has meant different things to different people. Many Indians have hated its depiction of a defeated race. But it has also become a symbol of resilience — shorthand for the story of all the tribes that have survived despite being systematically annihilated, assimilated and relocated from their lands. End of the Trail is on the signet ring that Joe Pakootas wears on his right hand. It reminds him of his older brother, George, who died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 17. “But it also makes me think of the battles we have been through,” he says, “the turmoils we have been through.” Pakootas’ great-great-grandmother was escorted by the U.S. Army from her family’s homeland near present-day Wenatchee to the Colville Reservation. Growing up, his own family was relocated to California for work. Later, he and five of his siblings were taken from his parents to foster care in Chewelah. “I remember looking out on the [Colville] river,” Pakootas, now 57, says, “thinking if it wasn’t so wide I’d swim across it and go home.” Pakootas overcame all that was thrown at him and did make it home to Inchelium, where he became a leader, serving 16 years on the tribal council. Today he owns a small business with Cheryl, his wife of 36 years, and serves as CEO of the Colville Tribe’s business ventures. Now he’s running for Congress — in fact, to become (as far as my research shows) the first Native American ever to represent Washington state. For Pakootas, the Native American story is about systematically creating haves and have-nots, and it’s happening again. Poverty — something Pakootas knows all too well — is impacting all Americans today, he says, especially in rural places, but also in Spokane, where he lived for four years. “It’s just a sad situation,” Pakootas says. “The 5th District is rural America, and if we don’t fix things now, our young people won’t have much of a future.”  JEN SORENSON CARTOON

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COMMENT | DEVELOPMENT

Culture is Identity

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

And identity fuels cities. So, what’s fueling us? BY LUKE BAUMGARTEN

geneticist, a health care CEO and a tech entrepreneur all complain about how hard it is to retain talented people. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Almost weekly, I hear some business dude or lady bemoan fighting brain drain. And don’t even get them started on attracting talent from out of town! Bloodied but unbroken, our business dudes and ladies are trying to crack that problem, working tirelessly to incubate sectors here that, once they reach a certain mass, will begin drawing talent to them like neutron stars, becoming hubs of self-reinforc-

ing industry. Greater Spokane Incorporated is working on attracting big business. WSU is working to bring a medical school here. Start-up people are wooing venture capitalists to our expansive vistas and low cost of living. We have a health tech incubator. We have an aerospace sector. No one’s claiming we’ll become Silicon Scablands, but we could certainly overtake Boise, right? Maybe one day rub shoulders with places like Madison, Wisconsin, and Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina, those midsized dynamos of innovation. It’s a grand vision with one massive blind spot: culture. Every great innovation center in our country was first a great cultural center. San Francisco, Seattle, Boston, New York. In Austin, SXSW is a massive tech gathering to rival almost any other in

the world. It began life as a music festival. Among cities our size, look at the biggest winners: Boulder, Colorado, and Madison. Now look at a place like Boise, which, after attracting big companies like Hewlett-Packard in the early part of the century, realized that business and Boise State University alone weren’t enough. In 2008, they reimagined their arts commission into the City Department of Arts & History and have since doled out, by a newspaper-editor friend’s estimation, about a million dollars in public support for the arts. Boise’s job creation jumped 35 spots in 2013, to No. 18 among mid-sized cities. (Spokane also jumped 35 spots, to No. 45.) Similarly, Tacoma has financed, with public and private money, a ton of art and cultural initiatives in the past decade that have transformed Seattle’s scary little brother into an attractive and affordable alternative. In the exodus to mid-sized cities, New Yorkers are moving to Durham. Seattleites are moving to Tacoma. The director of development at one of our bigger local tech companies once told me: 1) how easy it is hiring kids right out of college around here, and 2) how damn difficult it is to find a computer engineer with five years of experience. When you can’t get a young professional to spend her 20s in your city, you’ve got a big culture problem. But even though the problem is big, the solution is relatively simple: Do and give to the things you love. Find out what your employees are into, and give to those as well. Ask that hard-sell recruit what she’s into and give to an organization working to grow that thing here. Your $10,000 of corporate giving helps my arts organization(s) do the cool shit that make our town a more attractive place to recruit to. And the truly unique thing about spending on the art, music, food, dance and nightlife of our amazing city is that we all share the return on investment.  Luke Baumgarten is the interim co-executive director of Spokane Arts, a cofounder of Terrain, the founder of Fellow Coworking and former culture editor of the Inlander.

ON INLANDER.COM

“Steve Gleason has shown grace and grit under the toughest circumstances — that Spokane spirit in him is inspiring people coast to coast.” — TED S. MCGREGOR JR.

“Idaho politicians’ addiction to the Tea Party’s nasty medicine has seriously undermined Idaho’s basic institutions.” — MARY LOU REED

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

Readers respond to a blog (8/29/14) about a Pierce County judge ruling that state law doesn’t prevent cities from banning local pot businesses.

DAVID TREMBLAY: Good. That means all cities can ignore state law! GRACE RUSTEN SKAGGS: That’s fine but then they shouldn’t get any of the tax revenue that the state is making off of pot. JESSE ACOSTA: Banning marijuana after a clear public vote to the contrary undermines and weakens our democratic processes and our form of government. KENNETH TOON: Dangerous precedent. SAM WEBER: Jesse, most of the votes came from the west side. Trust me, there are a lot of counties in our state that did not pass this law. King, Pierce and Snohomish counties control everything by sheer numbers. Don’t try to fool all of us by saying it was a statewide mandate. FRANK RIGNEY: Hopefully they’re totally excluded from seeing any of the millions of dollars of tax revenue this is bringing the state too. 

Readers respond to a TV blog (8/28/14) titled, “In defense of Steven Moffat, Doctor Who’s controversial showrunner.”

CLAIRE ABRAHAM: For what it’s worth, I think Moffat’s been listening to some of the criticisms and taking them to heart. He’s wildly inventive [but] he sometimes relied on very one-dimensional character development, and his plots didn’t always make sense. This year, he’s closing the circuit on his plots much more cleanly. … I am very eager to see what comes next. DAWN SCHRAM: I agree with everything except the part about all Moffat’s women being the same (of course it is a man with that opinion). However, I am still waiting for a woman to write an episode. The show has had female producers and directors but no writers yet that I am aware of. PILAR QUEZZAIRE: Hello, writers go through periods of significant creativity, then often become selfreferent. That is where Moffat is. He is running out of ideas and moving to tropes. Self-indulgent, sexist tropes, what’s worse. I think it’s great to admire him for what he did, and oust him for what he does now. Give him a lifetime achievement award and let him leave gracefully. CELIA MOORE: In my opinion he doesn’t need defending. He brought back the beauty of the puzzle at last. 

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Winners and Losers How Sandpoint kept a growing company in its city — by evicting small businesses BY DANIEL WALTERS

ver since Chris Tate got the letter from the city of Sandpoint two weeks ago, he’s been on the phone with his brother, trying to save the company they founded. For the past six years, the Tates have run a premium cereal company called Lifestyle Granolas out of the Bonner Business Center. For 22 years, the Center had been an “incubator,” intended to serve as an inexpensive startup location allowing businesses to share resources as they grew. Run by the city of Sandpoint, the center was equipped with a commercial kitchen for food manufacturers and multiple loading bays for distribution. But the letter, signed by Jeremy Grimm, Sandpoint’s planning and community development director, informed him that he would be evicted in 45 days. With one exception, every tenant in the Center, including more than a dozen commercial kitchen users, is being kicked out. The six tenants and kitchen users have until Sept.

30 to leave. Before then, the Tates need to find a new commercial kitchen, deal with $8,000 worth of raw inventory, find a way to ship their product and decide whether their business can continue, or whether they’ll have to lay off their two employees Chris Tate of Lifestyle Granolas and shut down. “We’re basically at a standstill,” Tate says. “We might have to close our doors.” But to Grimm, the planning director, there was a very good reason for the city’s decision. “It’s a story of how, in the fiercely competitive national market, a small community was able to scrimp and fight and keep [a major] company here,” Grimm says.

ead-Lok, an international manufacturer of medical devices like electrocardiogram electrodes, was one of the original tenants in the Center, and perhaps the most successful. Earlier this year, it was purchased by the much larger, New York-based Graphic Controls. “Graphic Controls was for us the best choice because they’re committed to leaving the company here in Sandpoint,” Lead-Lok CEO Chris Healy told the Bonner County Daily Bee in April. In fact, that commitment was anything but guaranteed. The only way Sandpoint could stop Graphic Controls from moving Lead-Lok was to evict the rest of the Center’s tenants, Grimm says, giving Lead-Lok room to expand. Increasingly, states and cities find themselves locked in bidding wars, not just to attract new businesses, but to stop existing businesses from being seduced away. As businesses demand special incentives, even small cities like Sandpoint are asked to choose which businesses succeed, at the cost of others. For Sandpoint, the stakes have been particularly high: “Fear and despair for the future hang heavy over the community with every sector of our local economy bracing for the eventual fallout,” Grimm wrote in his eviction letter to the tenants. He was referring to the bankruptcy in April of clothing retailer Coldwater Creek, the area’s largest private employer. It cost the region more than 600 direct and indirect jobs, and threatened to cost a lot more. ...continued on next page

The Bonner Business Center is ending its run as a smallbusiness incubator.

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 13

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NEWS | IDAHO “WINNERS AND LOSERS,” CONTINUED... “The week after Coldwater closed, I had more than one company coming to me saying, ‘Boy, we’ve got to look at Tennessee and New York and Texas,’” Grimm says. Sandpoint and the state of Idaho threw every incentive they had at keeping Lead-Lok. “This was dozens of sleepless nights for me,” Grimm says. “Literally three months of highly tense negotiations.” The state used its new Tax Reimbursement Incentive program, enabling Lead-Lok to get back 15 percent of payroll, sales and income taxes for seven years. Grimm obtained a grant paying for $50,000 of improvements to LeadLok’s facilities, and worked out a deal, worth $225,000 over three years, allowing Lead-Lok to funnel part of their lease payments into certain building improvements. Still, for Graphic Controls, expanding their facility was non-negotiable. Some displaced tenants look on the bright side: Tracy Gibson, owner of Ruby’s Lube, sees the challenge as an opportunity — just the push she needs for her business’ next phase. But most are frustrated. Coeur d’Alene Dressing owner Peggy Alderman, who has used the Center’s kitchen for 19 years, says none of the tenants were informed about the possibility of eviction until after Sandpoint had already signed the paperwork. “It’s interesting they’re calling themselves an incubator, to try to promote small business, and then are doing the opposite,” Tate says. Schoolteacher Mike Turnlund’s family had

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invested around $10,000 to launch Joy Jams and Jellies. He’d only been using the Bonner Business Center kitchen for about a month and a half before he was informed it was closing. “I’m surprised about how obnoxious they’re being, just leaning on the city,” Turnlund says of Graphic Controls. “These guys have no sense of community.”

ealy, now vice-president of the Sandpoint division of Graphic Controls, has been with Lead-Lok for 23 years. His father had started the company. And if Lead-Lok moved — he wasn’t up for relocating to Buffalo, New York — he says he would would have been out of a job. So would have 62 full-time workers, and 15 temps. Those job losses would have rippled outward, resulting in other job losses. “It would have been catastrophic,” Healy says. “It would have been a lot of lives that would have been affected.” Instead, Lead-Lok plans to add an entirely new shift with 20 more jobs. The temps will become full-time workers. Graphic Controls’ infrastructure will let LeadLok take bigger orders than ever before, resulting in a big economic boon for Sandpoint. “I don’t want to paint the picture of being some cold-hearted New York company that doesn’t care about anybody,” Healy says. “We’re very sympathetic.” He says he’s personally been using his network to try to help the displaced businesses transition. Grimm hopes to donate the Center’s existing equipment to another regional

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THE PAVILION PRESENTS Lead-Lok promises to add at least 20 new local jobs to Sandpoint. site in order to accommodate many of the small businesses. Mary Miller, co-owner of Gem Berry Products, has found one possibility: She invited the other evicted commercial kitchen users to meet with the Bonner County Fair Board to discuss upgrading the fairgrounds’ commercial kitchen and leasing it to the displaced tenants. Yet that doesn’t solve her immediate needs. The timing couldn’t have been worse. “I have to get our Christmas orders done in a month,” Miller says. “We’re panicked now.” But to Grimm, the choice was between win/lose or lose/lose. Lead-Lok’s rent was subsidizing the smaller businesses; the commercial kitchen alone was costing the city about $20,000 annually. “If I lost that anchor tenant in the facility, I don’t know if the city’s general fund could have run the incubator,” he says. If LeadLok left, the incubator might have been shut down anyway. Instead, Grimm says that Lead-Lok will generate enough revenue for the city that if the company does leave someday, Sandpoint would have enough money to turn the facility back into a startup incubator, and start the whole cycle over again. “We are writing a new chapter, post-Coldwater Creek,” Grimm says.  danielw@inlander.com

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 15

NEWS | DIGEST

NEED TO KNOW

The Big News of the Past Week

PHOTO EYE FAST ZOMBIES

A new health clinic opening at Washington State UniversitySpokane will not have to comply with Providence’s Catholic directives, officials confirmed last week following a letter of concern from the ACLU of Washington.

After a lengthy property rights dispute, nearly all of the 60 owners of cabins along Priest Lake successfully won purchase of their lots at auction last Thursday.

A federal judge threw out a discrimination lawsuit filed by former Spokane Police officer Bradley Thoma, who was fired in 2009 for hit-and-run and driving under the influence.

4. 5.

A Spokane County sheriff’s deputy shot and killed a dog last week after suffering multiple bites at a home in Greenacres. For the second time in two weeks, the Islamic State has reportedly beheaded an American journalist, posting footage of the killing of Steven Sotloff online Tuesday.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

To raise money for at-risk youth, Spokane’s Apocalypse Corps raised up a zombie army. Corps founder Adin Haines, left, shoots zombie Dillon Kummer while giving a welcome speech to participants during last Saturday’s Zombie Run at Comstock Park. In a zombie run, competitors attempt to run from checkpoint to checkpoint, while a horde caked in zombie makeup chases them. Nerf guns, Nerf bullets and “extra lives” could be purchased to help runners escape with brains intact.

DIGITS

690

Length in miles of an oil pipeline running from Billings, Montana, to Moses Lake. Work begins this week to reroute about nine miles of the pipeline, so it no longer runs under the Coeur d’Alene River.

2.5

billion

People worldwide without access to toilet facilities, increasing risks of disease and poor water quality, according to a recent UN assessment.

ON INLANDER.com What’s Creating Buzz

CATS: Cats on Kickstarter, cats in art, cat video games. We’ve got it all every other Friday. Inlander.com/catfriday FALL ARTS: If you’re involved in the arts and have an event coming up, make sure we hear about it by Sept. 4 for our massive fall arts calendar. Visit inlander.com/getlisted or email details to getlisted@inlander.com

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BLUESTAR EXTINGUISHED

Time to Speak Up Three opportunities to comment on Mayor Condon’s proposed budget; plus, recognition for the Inlander’s “State of Mind” series YOUR TWO CENTS

Mayor David Condon’s preliminary 2015 budget promises to avoid layoffs and fund major public safety efforts, like a hire-ahead program for the Spokane Police Department. The city council has been meeting weekly to prepare their feedback before the mayor’s more detailed line-item budget is released later this fall. Now is your chance to do the same. The mayor will host three TOWN HALL MEETINGS to discuss the budget: Sept. 9 at the Northeast Community Center; Sept. 16 at the Corbin Senior Center; Sept. 17 at the Southside Senior and Community Center. Each meeting will begin at 6 pm. Read the budget and send feedback by email at MySpokaneBudget.org. — HEIDI GROOVER

HONORING ‘STATE OF MIND’

Inlander reporter Jacob Jones has won the 2014 WASHINGTON MENTAL HEALTH REPORTING AWARD for two of his stories in our ongoing “State of Mind” series. The yearlong series looks at challenges facing the regional mental health care system. Jones’ piece “Locked Away” told the story of Aman-

da Cook, who took her own life in the Spokane County Jail while awaiting a mental health evaluation. The second story, “Changing of the Guard,” followed local law enforcement’s efforts to implement Crisis Intervention Team training, which was mandated as part of the city’s settlement with the family of Otto Zehm. Zehm was a 36-year-old schizophrenic Jacob Jones janitor who died in police custody in 2006, leading to ongoing calls for reform in the department. “Jones’ vivid storytelling helps readers understand the impact that mental illnesses can have on the family and friends of those in need of treatment, many of whom are also at high risk for suicide,” wrote the judges, who included media and mental health professionals. Find the more two dozen stories in the “State of Mind” series at Inlander.com/StateOfMind. — HEIDI GROOVER

Last November, BLUESTAR DIGITAL TECHNOLOGIES, self-proclaimed innovator Erick Hansen’s muchhyped Blu-ray company, was raided by the FBI. For a time, the company — long dogged by lawsuits, mounting debt and fraud accusations — continued to operate, producing small quantities of Blu-ray disks. But now BlueStar has been evicted from the Commercial Building, and NAI Black is looking for new tenants to fill the vacancy on the troubled West First block. In an email, former BlueStar engineer Allen Pabst says that BlueStar hasn’t existed as a Blu-ray manufacturer in Spokane since March. “All equipment is now being sold,” Pabst says. “Some already sold and shipped out.” The Nevada Secretary of State, however, still lists the company as officially “active,” showing Hansen filed his annual list of officers on July 15. BlueStar’s exit has left a big vacancy. NAI Black agent Chris Bell has listed the now-vacant Commercial Building for $2.29 million. He says he’s had interest from developers, investors and a nonprofit involved in community services, transitional housing and job training. Back in 2007, while city leaders praised the company’s promise to bring hundreds of jobs and a sizable economic development, BlueStar kicked out low-income tenants residing in the Commercial Building. Now, Bell says, the building could become lowincome housing once again. “It’s a perfect building for a nonprofit to acquire, occupy the office space on the first floor, then run a commercial kitchen or restaurant,” Bell says. Tenants, he suggests, could stay in the apartments upstairs, and then work at the commercial kitchen downstairs. “It’s amazing how everything comes around full circle,” Bell says. — DANIEL WALTERS

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 17

NEWS | PORN

Hollywood Erotic Boutique on North Division continues to operate, despite being closer to a residential neighborhood than city law allows.

Happy Ending?

MEGHAN KIRK PHOTO

How does a decade-long legal battle with a law-flouting porn shop end in a bill to the taxpayers? BY HEIDI GROOVER

ilt Rowland has been fighting porn stores for 13 years and it’s still not over. After years of battling the parent company of Hollywood Erotic Boutique, the city of Spokane is now poised to give the one remaining store within city

limits $50,000 and three more years to shut down for good. It all started in 2001, when the city passed a law preventing adult businesses from operating within 750 feet of residential areas and other locations, like parks and

NEWS | LAWSUIT

‘Don’t Shoot Me’ A new lawsuit alleges Spokane County sheriff’s deputies used excessive force and ignored a man’s medical condition

schools. The company that owned multiple stores, then called World Wide Video, sued the city for what they argued was a violation of their First Amendment rights. In a series of courtroom back-and-forths over the past decade, the city has repeatedly won its argument that it had the right to zone such businesses. A 2006 court order mandated they change their businesses. They didn’t, but a court refused to forcibly shut them down because the terms of the order had been too vague, so they remained open. Last year, with no end in sight, the city council changed its adult businesses law with hopes of mounting an even stronger case. Yet in response to nearly every decision, the company has filed some sort of appeal, dragging the case out and bleeding the city with every billable hour. Rowland first worked on the case as an assistant city attorney, where it was part of his salaried work. He estimates the city spent about $300,000 on outside counsel before he took over the case and another $100,000 since he left the city and began contracting the work as a private attorney in 2007. So this year, when the store owner’s lawyer finally agreed to stop his First Amendment arguments as part of a settlement, Rowland says it was a compromise that is “a significant savings to the taxpayers.” The city council amended city code last week to give the stores the threeyear extension to close. Rowland says both sides have agreed to the settlement, but it has yet to be signed.

pokane isn’t the only city to take on porn with zoning. New York City and Los Angeles spent the ’90s cracking down on similar stores, but Spokane and some other cities have been reluctant to take code enforcement action to physically shut the stores down — despite their continual refusal to follow city law. That’s because city leaders here have feared that if they closed a

your nerves, messes with everything. … You just have to try to manage it.” The day of the incident Kinerson had an argument with his family and drove off to cool down. After he left, his sister called 911 to report he might be distraught. She reportedly mentioned he sometimes carries a gun, for which he has a concealed pistol license. Kinerson says a dispatcher soon called his cellphone. He gave her his location and assured her he was fine. When he saw sheriff’s patrol vehicles pull into the parking lot, he explained his medical limitations to the

BY JACOB JONES

n his knees in the parking lot of his Spokane Valley church, Matt Kinerson believes he is about to die. He watches a laser sight trained on his chest as several Spokane County sheriff’s deputies scream at him, weapons drawn. He had tried to warn them he has a medical condition, but now he cannot hold his weakened right arm above his head any longer. It starts to fall toward his waist. “I can’t stop it,” he explains. “I’m scared for my life.” With his good left arm, he desperately reaches down and pulls up his shirt to try to show he does not have any weapon. As he pulls his shirt up over his face, a deputy fires a Taser, crumpling Kinerson to the ground. “I thought I had been shot,” he says later. “I have a neurological disease, so I feel things differently.” Kinerson, 44, suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, a disorder of the nervous system that causes chronic pain, hypersensitivity and mobility issues. In particular, Kinerson struggles to use his right arm, which hangs stiff along his stomach and shakes involuntarily.

18 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

His eyes grow wide and his voice turns sharp as he recalls the encounter from May 23, 2013. He explains deputies Tasered him twice, before wrenching his immobilized arm behind his back and berating him. He recently filed a federal lawsuit against the county and Tim Jones, the Spokane Valley deputy who fired the Taser, alleging excessive force and negligence. County officials deny any wrongdoing, saying deputies believed Kinerson to be potentially suicidal and armed with a gun. A legal response filed last week says the deputy “used reasonable force to control the situation.”

inerson used to be a ski instructor. He says he enjoyed camping or shooting pool with friends. But throughout the past several years, RSD syndrome has increasingly limited his ability to function normally. Some days he struggles to get his shoes on. He lives with his parents, so they can help with daily tasks. “It is very painful,” he says of RSD. “It messes with

Matt Kinerson alleges deputies used excessive force during a 2013 welfare check — despite warnings about his medical issues. JACOB JONES PHOTO dispatcher so she could relay the information to the deputies. Kinerson’s father, George, says he also told 911 dispatchers about his son’s condition prior to the incident. “I already know it makes police uneasy,” Kinerson says of his shaky right arm. “I can understand their

store and then a later court decision found the law banning these businesses did, in fact, violate the store owner’s rights, the city could be on the hook for any lost profits during the time the business was shut down. In theory, this argument could keep the city from enforcing any of its laws; there’s always the risk of a court challenge. Assistant City Attorney Tim Szambelan says there’s a key distinction. Enforcing, say, a fire code comes with the urgency of public safety, which makes it worth the risk of a theoretical lawsuit. Closing a porn store is different. “Adult entertainment is a unique area of the law in the sense that there’s litigation all over the U.S. and it’s specific, and there are First Amendment rights associated with it,” Szambelan says. “With building and fire, it’s truly a health and safety issue at that moment. It could jeopardize the public. … [Hollywood Erotic Boutique] wasn’t an immediate risk to people’s health or safety.” Today, one Hollywood Erotic Boutique remains in business here. The owner of the store did not return a call to his California-based corporation, and both his attorney and the manager at Hollywood Erotic Boutique on North Division declined to comment. The city’s fight against the business has been driven largely by vocal residents from nearby neighborhoods, who say the activity at the stores and the pornographic litter that comes with them are eroding their quality of life. In testimony to the city council last year, one neighbor called it a “festering scab” that’s “changed the way we live.” To some in City Hall, relief for them is worth the cost. “Yes, as a taxpayer it really makes me angry that we had to extend it out as long as it has,” says Councilman Mike Fagan, who represents Northeast Spokane. “But if I put myself in the shoes of those folks who’ve had to suffer that long, I could definitely reconcile the money and reconcile the time it has taken to get here.” n heidig@inlander.com

position, [but] they didn’t try to communicate with me. … They didn’t do anything but scream at me the entire time.” Despite the warnings, Kinerson was Tasered and wrestled into custody by force. He says he never offered any resistance, but deputies later reported he had yelled, “Shoot me!” Kinerson contends he was begging, “Don’t shoot me.”

eorge Kinerson says he and his wife have raised eight children to respect the church and the law, including one who served as a military police officer. But they say they now believe authorities misrepresented the facts of their son’s encounter, undermining the family’s longstanding trust in law enforcement. Matt Kinerson never faced any charge. He later passed a psychological evaluation at the hospital. Even if he had been suffering mental distress, he says deputies made no effort to “talk him down” or reason with him. They defaulted to aggression, he says, treating an innocent citizen like a dangerous criminal. “They didn’t act like police officers,” he says. “They acted like soldiers. … They’re not looking to protect and serve the popuSend comments to editor@inlander.com. lace. They’re looking to protect and serve themselves.” His attorney Richard Wall says Spokane has seen a number of lawsuits in recent years based on overzealous police actions. Too many law enforcement encounters result in unnecessary force against a citizen. Training should be improved, Kinerson says, but more than that or money, he would like to see the deputies fired. He says the community has become too complacent, giving law enforcement a free pass while citizens pay the price. “I’m scared of them now,” he says. “I really am. That’s a bad thing. I shouldn’t be scared of the people I’m supposed to call when I’m in need.” n jacobj@inlander.com

LETTERS

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 19 CdaCasino_090414_12V_GG.tif

n O s ’ t o o f g i B l i a r T n i e v e i l e b u o y o d o How t — t a h t g n i h t — d l r some o w e h t f o the rest ist? x e t ’ n s doe A BY DEANN

20 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

PAN

ou’ve probably seen her before. Captured in grainy 16mm Kodachrome color film, she walks upstream along a sandbar on the opposite edge of a creek. It’s an easy gait, brisk yet casual. Her knees are bent; her elongated arms swing freely at her sides. In a moment suspended in time, she glances back. Large eyes. Flat nose. Well-muscled back, buttocks and thighs. A large pair of conspicuous breasts dangle from her chest like sandbags. She’s big — 7 feet and 3 inches tall, some say, and 700 or more pounds. She’s also almost entirely covered in dark brown hair. To skeptics, she’s just a hoax, an imposter in an ape suit. But to any Bigfoot investigator worth his salt, she’s “Patty.” This iconic footage, known as the Patterson-Gimlin film, is widely considered the gold standard by which every other piece of Bigfoot evidence is weighed. Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman, who runs the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine, likens the footage to the Zapruder film of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. It’s the best and and most controversial proof there is that large and elusive apelike hominoids roam the North American backwoods, and have been since antiquity. For Bigfoot believers, the comparison couldn’t be more apt. No one appreciates this more than Bob Gimlin, an 82-year-old horse handler from Yakima, Washington — the surviving half of the film’s namesake. When we meet at a diner in Union Gap, he says he’s got “a little gift” for me out in his truck. After rummaging through his black Escalade pickup, he hands me a batteries-not-included “Sasqwatch” that he personally autographed the night before. “That’s a signed Bob Gimlin case right there!” he says, smiling. Gimlin’s a small, wiry old cowboy with an elfin grin tucked under a sparse handlebar mustache. He rolls into Shari’s Cafe and Pies, his favorite local spot, in a cream-colored cowboy hat, mahogany leather boots and an Ellensburg blue agate stone on his left-hand ring finger. He orders peach ice tea and when I ask him how he is, he points to his left shoulder. He got bucked off a mule a few weeks back, and now his left arm is about as strong and useful as silly putty. The course of Gimlin’s life changed dramatically on Oct. 20, 1967: He and his old friend Roger Patterson spotted Patty (named after Roger’s wife) lumbering along Bluff Creek in Northern California. They’d come to California from Yakima with two saddle horses, a pack horse and a rented Kodak K-100 hand-held camera after Patterson, a longtime Bigfoot enthusiast, caught wind of some giant footprints in the mountains 35 miles from the town of Willow Creek. ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 21

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“ON BIGFOOT’S TRAIL,” CONTINUED... Gimlin didn’t expect the ensuing hubbub, or that nearly half a century later, the film would still be a subject of intense study and debate in certain circles. Scientists from as far as Russia and London have examined the film and verified its authenticity. Yet his own neighbor down the street has gone on the record claiming that he was the man in the ape suit. For Bigfoot believers like Gimlin, the enigmatic ape is just another rare and endangered species that hasn’t officially been “discovered.” And while almost every corner of land on Earth has been explored, they’ll often point out that the mountain gorilla was considered a myth until it was shot and killed on an expedition through Central Africa’s Verunga Mountains in 1902. Even Jane Goodall has admitted her fascination with the humanoid cryptid, telling a public radio reporter 12 years ago, “I’m sure that they exist.” Forty-seven years since the Patterson-Gimlin film’s debut, the search for Sasquatch is as intense as ever. Jeff Meldrum, an anatomy and anthropology professor at Idaho State University — and one of the few academics publicly convinced by the body of Bigfoot evidence — is currently conducting his own DNA study of supposed Sasquatch hair samples. He’s also involved with the Falcon Project, a $500,000 initiative to send an unmanned aircraft system, equipped with thermal imaging and highdefinition video cameras, to search for Bigfoot above the treetops. The mission, he says, will likely launch within a year.

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But any “Bigfooter” will tell you that this relentless quest for the creature demands a heavy price. For years, Gimlin wouldn’t tell his story. The public scrutiny was too much; the ridicule was unbearable. His wife threatened to leave him many, many times. And he was bitter. Patterson cheated Gimlin out of the rights to the film, traveled around the country with it and made a whole bunch of money through movie ticket sales of BIGFOOT: America’s Abominable Snowman! Gimlin never saw a cent. Now, within the passionate Bigfooter community, Gimlin has become a celebrity in his own right. “I don’t hold no regrets now,” he says. “We’ve got the evidence now, the sightings. Thousands of people can’t be wrong when they say they’ve seen ’em.”

B T

he legend of Sasquatch dates back to Native oral traditions. The name “Sasquatch,” in fact, is derived from the Halkomelem Indian word sásq’ets. Even before 19th century newspaper reporters described sightings of “wild men” in the woods — Teddy Roosevelt once wrote about a bipedal “beast creature” who killed a trapper in the Bitterroot Mountains — Native people passed down their own stories of hairy giants wandering the wilderness. The Spokanes called Bigfoot s’cwene’y’ti (“Tall, hairy, smells like burnt hair”). The

Wenatchi called them choanito (“night people”). The Sasquatch is skanicum — “stick Indian” — on Colville lands and oh-mah — “boss of the woods” — among the Huppa in Northern California. To the Yakama, he’s qah-lin-me — one of his “hairy brothers.” He’s the yeti in the Himalaya, the yowie in Australia and the yeren in the Hubei province in China. Idaho State’s Meldrum hypothesizes that Bigfoot is a relative of the genus Gigantopithecus, a 10-foot-tall prehistoric ape that roamed modern-day China, Vietnam and India more than one million years ago. Ever since the release of the Patterson-Gimlin film, Bigfoot has catapulted into popular culture. His hulking visage has appeared in dozens of movies, television shows, documentaries, ad campaigns and even porny Kindle e-books. (Virginia Wade’s Moan for Bigfoot has been downloaded more than 100,000 times on Amazon.) Coleman, the cryptozoologist, credits the 1972 Bigfoot horror docudrama The Legend of Boggy Creek with inspiring today’s generation of Bigfoot hunters. In 1987, John Lithgow starred alongside Sasquatch in the box office hit Harry and the Hendersons. In 2011, Animal Planet’s documentary series Finding Bigfoot aired. Its second season premiere drew 1.6 million viewers. Back at the diner, when I ask Gimlin who the top Bigfoot researcher in Washington is, he says one name without missing a beat: “Mel Skahan is, as far as I’m concerned, the best there is.”

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A forestry technician for the Yakama Nation, Skahan’s 47 and stocky with a shaved head and, on his calf, a recently acquired tattoo of a Sasquatch peeking behind a pine tree. When we meet on the reservation on a hot Friday morning at the end of July, he’s got his 12-yearold stepdaughter, Fayedawn, in tow and a jam-packed schedule planned for the day: a five-hour tour of his past Bigfoot encounters around the 1.2 million-acre Yakama

third set of footprints: one was 18 inches long, the other between 8 and 9 inches. “It was mind-boggling,” he says. It made the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Nine years ago, he had his first — and last — sighting, again on the job, when he says he spotted a Bigfoot beyond a slash pile 170 feet away. It was large, black and glistening, running with its arms straight along its sides, faster than anything he’d ever seen before. He’s also heard Bigfoot vocalizations — screams, howls and growls. He’s had rocks thrown at him. He says he once came close enough to smell their putrid body odor. We stop the car in the forest where Skahan had his sighting and he mimics a Bigfoot location call for me. “I need my water because this one hurts,” he says. He cups his hands around his mouth and makes three high-pitched calls. Whooop! Whooop! Whooooooop! We wait for a moment in silence when, suddenly, we hear a loud bellowing in the distance. Fayedawn stops pecking on her cellphone, and the two of us exchange looks, mouths agape. Skahan smiles. “That’s a cow,” he whispers. And sure enough, five cattle emerge from the woods. There was a time five or six years ago when Skahan would get calls from his neighbors and coworkers, asking him to look into strange sounds they’d heard or things they’d seen, and he’d chase every report of a possible Bigfoot encounter on every corner of the reservation, hoping for a photograph or a video. He appeared on

“I was out being a rock star and just living the outdoor Sasquatch-research lifestyle. Then it dawned on me: What’s going to happen [to them]?” reservation and a visit to his semi-regular radio show, Beast Mode, where he and two other Bigfoot enthusiasts talk Sasquatch lore and take questions from listeners. “They’re people just like us, humans just like us,” Skahan explains from behind the wheel of his Honda Pilot as we drive along Signal Peak Highway. “They just choose not to be part of this.” Skahan wasn’t always a believer. But then, in the winter of 1999, he saw his first set of tracks while out on the job, measuring timber plots of Douglas and grand firs near the Toppenish Creek drainage. The footprints were 22 inches in length, longer than his own snowshoes, and the strides at least 5 feet. The toe prints were as big as a deck of cards. He and one of his coworkers followed the tracks for three hours. They came upon a second and a

TV shows and national radio programs. He did talks at schools, museums and summer camps. He invested $25,000 of his own money into tracking equipment, like his thermal camera, and research expeditions. He auditioned for Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot. Skahan spent so many weekends in the woods with other big-name Bigfoot investigators, he grew distant from his kids. His wife eventually left him. Skahan remembered something a former reservation Sasquatch researcher had warned him about: “You’re not going to like where it’s going to take you.” He didn’t know what that meant at the time. “I was out being a rock star and just living the outdoor Sasquatch-research lifestyle. Then it dawned on me: What’s going to happen [to them]?” he says. If the rest of the world got their hands on his research, knew what he knew about Bigfoot, would they drive these creatures off the reservation, or worse, into extinction?

kahan invites me to go on an overnight Bigfoot expedition with him and some of his Bigfooter friends on the Olympic Peninsula the following weekend — as long as I promise not to reveal the location of the campsite in this story. Late Saturday afternoon, he texts me cryptic directions as I drive down a winding, two-lane highway. They go something like this: Pass mile marker __ and turn right at the next dirt road into the woods. Make a left at the tree with the number “__” painted on its trunk and go past a __-colored ribbon tethered to a branch. The opening to the campground is a quarter mile away on the right. ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 23

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By the time I arrive, a dozen other people have already pitched their tents in the wooded area around a gravel lot and are reclining in lawn chairs beneath an open-sided tent, swapping stories over a Tupperware box of cookies. They’re mostly white, middle-aged outdoorsy types with kids — and day jobs. For that reason, they ask me not to include their full names. Among them, there are two engineers, one high school vice principal, an archaeologist, an IT analyst, a construction subcontractor and a Department of Natural Resources forest enforcer. About half are current or former members of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO) — the self-described “only scientific research organization exploring the bigfoot/ sasquatch mystery.” The group has gained some celebrity in recent years thanks to Finding Bigfoot, which stars BFRO founder Matt Moneymaker and his quirky team of field researchers, investigating sightings of the hairy cryptid. One of the campers, Scott Taylor, a Boeing engineer from Spanaway in a camouflage hat and “WATCH FOR SQUATCH” T-shirt, says the BFRO has collected more than 45,000 reports

from people who either saw something, heard something or think they did. The BFRO’s online database includes reported sightings from every state but Hawaii, every Canadian province and a handful of Eastern Hemisphere nations. Washington is the undisputed hub of Bigfoot activity with 585 listings on the database. In his eight years as a volunteer investigator for the BFRO, Taylor says he’s personally looked into 136 of them. Many of the campers here say that like Skahan, their fascination with Bigfoot began with an otherwise inexplicable encounter. A woman named Laura tells me she had her first sighting in 2004, while she and her husband were caving at Mount Adams. She remembers walking all alone down an abandoned forest road when she heard something scampering behind her. She turned around and there it was, in the distance, crossing the road. She says she realized it wasn’t human when she noticed its hands hanging all the way down to its knees. “It upset my whole worldview,” she says. “I tried to go to sleep that night and the world wasn’t the same place. I thought, ‘If this exists,

Mel Skahan, left, and Bob Gimlin greet each other outside Shari’s restaurant in Union Gap. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot with a captured image above.

then what else exists?’ My God.” She kept quiet about it for six years — she didn’t even tell her husband because she was worried he would have her “locked up” — until she couldn’t keep ignoring what she had seen any longer. That’s how she met Taylor, when she filed a report with the BFRO. They talked on the phone for an hour. “It was an incredible relief,” she says, “for him to say, ‘You’re not crazy.’”

they might leave you a gift in its place — a pile of stones or feathers or 10 dead field mice wrapped in leaves of grass. The females secrete a pleasant, cinnamony odor. The males, according to Taylor, reek of “dead dog, B.O., urine and garbage — mixed together and set on fire.” They migrate with their food supply. Like cats, their eyes glow in the dark. They even have their own spoken language. Taylor fetches his laptop to show us some audio of the “Sierra Sounds,” alleged Bigfoot “chatter” recorded in California’s Sierra Nevada mountains in the 1970s. “They sound like Oriental samurai,” a woman in bright pink lipstick and track pants leans over and tells me. Taylor plays the recording. For the next 10 minutes, we listen to a series of low-pitched snorts, grunts, wails and rapid-fire gibberish. They’re also creatures of tremendous contradictions. Despite their enormous mass, they can weave through the tree line undetected. Despite their super-powered strength, they’re quickly scared off by bright lights. Despite their apparent interest in humans, it seems they’d rather not be ...continued on next page

B H

ere’s what I learn from these Bigfooters in the next 24 hours: Never hold a staring contest with a Sasquatch. Keep any white lights turned off and stowed away. They’re preternaturally strong, fast and clever. They have a penchant for chucking giant rocks at people when they’re feeling threatened. They can swim 100 yards without coming up for air. They prey on deer. They fish for salmon. They like peanut butter sandwiches. If you set out a snack for them on a picnic table or back porch, like a bag of apples or watermelon rind,

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 25

cover

story

Paul Graves poses at his home in Wenatchee with an infrared camera and his collection of Sasquatch footprint casts. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“ON BIGFOOT’S TRAIL,” CONTINUED...

Graves says this patch of fur may have come from a Bigfoot. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

found out. “They have a real aversion to video cameras,” one woman tells me. “I don’t know how,” she says. “As soon as you have a video camera on, they’re gone. It’s really interesting. How do they know that it’s there?” And despite countless eyewitness accounts, no Bigfoot body has ever been discovered. A Bigfoot has never been hit by a semi or shot by a hunter’s wayward bullet. There are no bones, no carrion, no fossil record, let alone any Bigfoot-sized scat. “It really comes down to a very simple principle. In science and in biology, if you want to name a new species, you have to have a ‘type specimen,’” says science historian Michael Shermer, founder of the Skeptics Society, an organization dedicated to rooting out fringe and pseudoscientific beliefs. “Not footprints, not grainy videos and definitely not stories of things that go bump in the night. You have to have an actual body. That’s how it works. … Without an actual specimen, it just doesn’t count.” This dilemma isn’t lost on Bigfoot researchers, and there’s debate on this point among the community, separating the Sasquatch “hunters” from the “seekers.” The late Grover Krantz, an anthropology professor at Washington State

26 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

University and the first academic to seriously study the Bigfoot question, advocated killing a specimen — an idea that doesn’t sit well with any of the Bigfooters I’ve met. In fact, in 1969, Skamania County, in Western Washington, became the first in the country to pass an ordinance prohibiting “any willful, wanton slaying of such creatures” — a felony punishable by five years in prison. The law was amended in 1984, making Skamania County an official “Sasquatch Refuge” and the crime of killing a Bigfoot a one-year, jail-time offense. (The law even forbids an accused Sasquatch killer from claiming insanity in his defense.) Taylor says the BFRO is looking for “irrefutable video or photographs” to prove Bigfoot’s existence, but in the age of Photoshop and digital editing, he admits that’s an almost impossible undertaking.

B S

till, Bigfoot investigators argue that the evidence weighs heavily on their side. Paul Graves, an investigator in Wenatchee, certainly thinks so, and he’s eager to show me his findings when I visit his house on a Thursday afternoon in

mid-August. Graves is a concrete contractor, local musician and Eastern Washington investigator for a Bigfoot research group called the Olympic Project. (It’s funded in part by a Nevada multimillionaire named Wally Hersom, who outfitted members with more See more pictures than 100 top-of-the-line at Inlander.com infrared game cameras.) Graves, who is 53, lanky, blond and pale with soft blue eyes, calls himself a “citizen scientist,” and he’s been collecting Bigfoot stories all over the region, from Quilcene to Blewett Pass, for the past 25 years. He’s amassed some 360 reports, which he’s handwritten and filed in composition notebooks and manila folders. His notes include observations like, “Saw Sasquatch near German Creek outside Longview Washington ... The one he saw had rounder head.” Graves learned how to interview people from his mother, a former Wenatchee World newspaper reporter. Whenever he’d go out to grocery stores, restaurants, gas stations, he’d go up to folks and ask, “Have you ever seen a Bigfoot or heard of one?” “I sometimes equate it to cancer research,”

SLIDESHOW

he says of his work. “You see, we’re working on a problem just like cancer; Bigfoot research. We put a lot into it, but we still don’t have the answer. Just because we don’t have the answer doesn’t mean that it’s not real.” His basement office is a shrine to both of his passions — Sasquatch and music. On one side of the room he’s got guitars and camping gear; on the other side, he has his own personal museum of Bigfoot memorabilia and artifacts: dozens of plaster casts, books, photographs, posters and knickknacks. He has two of the same autographed pictures of Bob Gimlin posing in his trademark cowboy hat against a Bluff Creek National Forest sign. He gives me one of his CDs, an eight-track album of original “Sasquatch Songs.” His acoustic guitar ballad “Bigfoot and Butterflies” includes lyrics like “One’s so big, he’s the king of the hill. / The other’s so fragile, she’s

the trailhead and into the inky darkness. We’ve split off into two groups — Taylor leads mine — and we tromp along the hiking path, guided only by shadows, starlight and Taylor’s red-light headlamp, stopping briefly a few times to listen for rustling in the underbrush. About 40 minutes in, we reach the end of the trail. “Let’s stop the lights and stand here about 10 or 15 minutes,” Taylor says. Laura adjusts her “Super Ear” sound enhancer and Taylor sneaks off to take a whiz. I ask Skahan if he’ll do a howl. “I’ll call in more cows!” he says. But he takes a deep breath anyway and Taylor radios the other group. Woahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Skahan’s got a reputation for being the best howler in Washington state (“I’m not even ObiWan to Mel’s Yoda,” one camper tells me), and it’s obvious why. His howl is a long, deep, sonorous baritone, his pitch perfectly steady. It echoes throughout the forest. Skahan howls again and we wait in total silence. Beyond the woods, you can hear the whooshing waves of the Pacific Ocean and the soft trickling of a nearby culvert. A foghorn blows in the distance. A twig snaps. Six minutes go by. Nothing. “Well, I’m gonna call it,” Laura whispers. “They’re not much for knocking out here — are they, Scott?” “No, not really.” “How about rock clacking?” “Hmm,” he pauses. “No, not really that much either.” “Maybe they all went down to get some seafood.” Taylor chuckles. “Maybe they’re back terrorizing base camp.” We wait another three minutes before heading back down the trail to turn in for the night. And no, there’s no Bigfoot at base camp either. The guys get a crackling fire going and I stumble off to my tent. One camper loans me an air mattress and another leaves me with a heap of blankets because, despite having borrowed a tent and sleeping bag for the occasion, I’m still hopelessly unprepared. One woman slips me a roll of toilet paper and a plastic baggie and when I ask, teaches me how to pee outside. The next morning, there’s no Bigfoot activity to report, and the overwhelming consensus is that one weekend in the woods is far too short to expect anything. “They can’t stay in one place permanently,” Taylor explains. “They could be just up the road at West Twin or the Lyre River,” another says. “Especially if there’s salmon coming in.” “Can we come back in two weeks?” After breakfast, we say our goodbyes and I make the long, six-and-a-half-hour drive home. We didn’t find Bigfoot last night, but I think I stumbled on something else. And more than I ever would have imagined, I want to come back, too.  deannap@inlander.com

NOT JUST NEWS.

insight

“Like a ghost, like a ninja. It’s moving so fast you can’t even see it hardly in the film.” the queen of the mill. / Together they’re like the keepers of the land. / Watching over everything with a soft hand.” In his fridge, he’s got what he says may be a tuft of Bigfoot fur. He pulls it out of an envelope lying next to a big box of Northwest ground beef. It’s a matted lump of straight brown hair, curiously square-shaped and reeking of fish food. In 2010, Graves captured what he says is one of his most compelling, “blow your mind” pieces of evidence. He was hired by Finding Bigfoot for an episode recreating the Patterson-Gimlin film. While he was hiking in the woods near the Bluff Creek drainage, he says he recorded a video, with a small contour camera on his back, showing a Bigfoot running at extraordinary speed between a set of trees. “They just glide, just like this,” he says, moving his hand back and forth. “Like a ghost, like a ninja. It’s moving so fast you can’t even see it hardly in the film. When you slow it down, oh my gosh, there it is.” We gather around his computer and he presses play. About four minutes in, a dark, unidentifiable blur shivers between the trees. “Weird, huh?” he says. “That something could move that fast.”

B “N

ow watch this,” says Dave, the archaeologist, handing me his night-vision monocular back at the Bigfooters’ campsite. “It’s infrared light. So if you look at it with your naked eye, you can’t see anything, right?” No, you can’t. But through the scope of his night vision, the world is green and radiant, surrounded on all sides by coniferous trees scraping the sky. It’s 10 ’til 10 and we’ve just set off from

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Artful Soles

How local teens turned sneakers into pieces of art BY JENNA MULLIGAN

he paintings sitting on the table of Odyssey Youth Center feature swirling shades of color, text and patterns, and they’re all on canvas. The canvas, however, just happens to be a Converse sneaker. What were once blank, white shoes have become manifestations of unique interests and expressions. One pair of high-tops is plastered with painted replicas of famous Van Gogh pieces; another shoe has become a collage of quotes and images from a novel by John Green. To the group of teenagers who created this unique collection, creativity is expression. And because of Art Matters Spokane, they now have the opportunity to produce and display their shoes in an exhibit at Luxe Ballroom during September’s First

Friday event. Art Matters works collaboratively with nonprofit organizations in Spokane that already are serving youth and families. Their aim is to build empowerment and action through art. Susana Soth is one of several individuals who volunteer their time to make these workshops happen. She refers to the program as a movement of passion in people who are dedicated to this form of community outreach. For Soth, the art is just a bridge connecting volunteers and participants. She sees the lasting influence of giving the kids an opportunity to create something unique. “We use art as a medium to build relationships, a medium to start conversations,” says Soth. Their youngest volunteer is 13-year-old Dylan Soth, Susana’s son. Both mother and son decided ...continued on next page

Painted shoes from Art Matters Spokane’s youth project are to be exhibited this weekend at Luxe Ballroom. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 29

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2ND

CULTURE | VISUAL ARTS

4:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Volunteer Dylan Soth puts his creativity to work on a pair of Converse.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“ARTFUL SOLES,” CONTINUED...

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to get involved in Art Matters after Dylan donated art supplies to underprivileged youth as a community service project earlier this year. It was Dylan who thought that the forum of shoe art would be a unique way to turn something ordinary, such as shoes, into more unique pieces. Susana took this idea and ran with it, reaching out to the community for support. Odyssey Youth Center, Operation Healthy Family, and Youth for Christ are three nonprofits that picked up the idea and recruited interested local youth from their programs. Some of these teenagers have experienced personal and family-driven struggles; nearly all are under-resourced. “Art takes your mind off it all,” Dylan says. “You don’t concentrate on your other problems or all your emotions. I thought that giving them the supplies and the time to paint would help them if they were feeling sad.” Stacks of Converse shoe boxes and art supplies purchased with a donation from Numerica Credit Union were delivered to the organizations several weeks ago. Two local artists, Beverly Hill-Kleinstein and Garric Simonsen, volunteered and led the projects. Simonsen, a Spokane Falls Community College art professor, was interested in working with Odyssey, which is a support program for LGBTQ youth. Beyond the occasional suggestion or technical advice, Simonson spent the time encouraging and talking with the teenagers as they painted. Many of the participants, who opted to only give their first names, had come to the workshop at Odyssey with a clear idea of what they wanted to create on their shoes. Alex, 17, designed a Van Gogh-inspired pair, recreating intricate scenes of Starry Night on the right foot and one of the Sunflowers paintings on the left. “To be able to take part and put things on display and see if I like that — it’s helpful to know if this is what I want to do,” Alex says. He has aspirations to attend art school, but can’t often get ahold of art supplies to practice with. Similarly, one 14-year-old artist who goes by the moniker SRHH(Dean) says that art is his favorite form of expression. He holds up a shoe that has been covered in lyrics and logos of various musicians, including Avenged Sevenfold and Paramore. “Their songs are what I connect to,” he says. “These lyrics have helped me through a lot.” This week, 15 of these youths will be the stars of their own First Friday exhibit when their canvas sneaker creations go on display at the Luxe Ballroom. The owners donated their space to share the work of the teenagers in their first art show. Some will try to sell their shoes, while others are choosing to keep them. Collectively, it’s the night that the volunteers, artists and organizations have all been working toward. “This is putting activities into the system,” Simonsen says. “It takes vulnerable young groups and gives them something positive and meaningful to do.” n Convo Art: Shoe Art by Local Youth • Fri, Sept. 5, 5-9 pm • Free • Luxe Ballroom • 1017 W. First • artmattersspokane.com

CULTURE | DIGEST

ART GALLERY ON THE GO V

acant buildings downtown are an eyesore and a hindrance to economic development — it seems we’ve all become hyper-aware of this. The idea to fill those unused spaces with temporary art isn’t new to city leaders and creatives — other downtown projects include Laboratory on West Main, and Window Dressing on West First. But local artist Jessica Earle thinks Spokane could definitely use more of a good thing. So earlier this year, Earle, a 28-year-old Bachelor of Fine Arts student at Eastern Washington University, launched Lacuna, a new pop-up art gallery. Its first show was hosted in June at the former White Room event space on West Pacific. The endeavor’s second show is going up in time for this month’s First Friday arts showcase on the evening of Sept. 5. Lacuna will remain in place through the month in a recently vacated space in a busy pocket of downtown — the former T-Mobile store on the corner of Main and Wall. Earle says she actually was approached by River Park Square to organize a show there, in hopes that art would detract from the vacancy and potentially attract a new tenant to the prominent retail area. Artwork is being hung in the space’s large, streetfacing windows — it won’t actually be open to walk through — and includes photography by Kevin Spencer alongside some mixed media and digital work by Earle.

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Art shows: They can happen anywhere. The gallery’s name, Lacuna, is a word that references a void, and Earle says that’s exactly what the project seeks to do. “I think this is something that can benefit Spokane, and help take care of some of these raw space issues,” Earle says. “I want it to be as big as it can get.” — CHEY SCOTT

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Personal Parties | Corporate Events | Weddings… BOOK | There are a couple of things about this graphic novel that immediately had me hooked — a female journalist protagonist and a talking cat — but there’s plenty a non-cat-lady-journalist can appreciate, too. Written by Eisner Awardwinning author Paul Tobin and illustrated by Ben Dewey, both hailing from Portland, I WAS THE CAT is a silly yet riveting tale about a talking cat whose past eight lives have run the course of several notable eras of history, not limited to ancient Egypt, medieval England and World War I. In each of these “lives,” Burma the cat has tried to take over the world, but he hasn’t been successful until now. So during his ninth and final life, Burma hires an up-and-coming journalist to ghostwrite his memoir.

GAME | There are three things a mobile game should aim to do well. It should have an appealing and original art style; offer thoughtful gameplay to both entertain and challenge the user; and should have some kind of limitation on time, so as not to consume the player’s entire life (ahem, Candy Crush). These elements are all achieved in MONUMENT VALLEY, an elegantly designed, linear puzzle game by indie studio Ustwo that’s available for iOS and Android. Through 10 levels of gradually increasing difficulty, players guide Ida the princess through stunning, pastel-hued geometric levels reminiscent of M.C. Escher drawings. To do so, players must identify and work around optical illusions by rotating or manipulating movable pieces of the levels’ worlds, successfully guiding Ida to the exit of each level. With just 10 levels, most should finish the game within a couple of hours, feeling satisfied when they do.

JOURNALISM | Brooks County, a rural swath of southern Texas, has become a literal graveyard for hundreds of Central American migrants. By now, we’ve all heard about the tens of thousands of migrants fleeing extreme gang violence in Guatemala, El Salvador and elsewhere, with much of the media’s recent focus on Arizona’s outcry. In BEYOND THE BORDER, a four-part, multimedia investigative series by the Texas Observer, in partnership with The Guardian, it’s revealed that the deadliest part of the U.S. border crisis centers around the Texas town of Falfurrias, 70 miles north of the border. There, longtime Texas ranchers, U.S. Border Patrol, humanitarian workers and a broke sheriff’s department are struggling not only to solve the issue, but to cope and simply humanize the thousands of men, women and children passing through. Read it at texasobserver. org/beyond-border.

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www.TheHanleyCollection.com Nich Witham (left) plays Eugene Jerome in Broadway Bound, alongside Jerry Sciarrio (center) and Dalin Tipton. SARAH WURTZ PHOTO

17 27 E S P R AG U E AV E | 5 0 9 . 5 3 5 .1 1 1 1

Closing the Cycle Broadway Bound concludes Neil Simon’s ‘Eugene’ trilogy and marks the end of Michael Weaver’s time at Interplayers BY E.J. IANNELLI

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32 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

at the door

y kicking off its current season with Broadway Bound from Neil Simon’s semi-autobiographical “Eugene” cycle, Interplayers is drawing overt parallels to the way the theater opened its previous season. Broadway Bound is the third and final play of Simon’s dramatic trilogy, and will revisit the exact same apartment set — albeit more than a decade on — that audiences saw last year in Brighton Beach Memoirs. Nich Witham, who played Eugene in Brighton Beach, will reprise his more mature character in Broadway Bound. So will Samantha Camp, who plays his long-suffering mother Kate. Director Michael Weaver says it’s “not unusual” for theaters to skip Biloxi Blues, the second play in the series, as Interplayers has. “Biloxi Blues is about Eugene in the army and his run-ins with bigotry, and it really is parenthetical to the story of the family,” says Weaver. “In a sense, Broadway Bound is the reverse of Brighton Beach. Brighton Beach is about opportunity and the bright future, and things that are out there that you can embrace and grab hold of and ride to a conclusion. Broadway Bound is about opportunities not grabbed, and it’s about regret.” Although Broadway Bound’s missed opportunities and “unraveling” of the Jerome family might not sound like the stuff of comedy, Weaver emphasizes that it’s “hilariously funny” in a way that seems to elude more contemporary plays.

“The best comedies are always about something important and something serious,” he says. “No, this isn’t a door-slamming farce where people drop their pants and fall down, although doors get slammed and people do fall down. But if you look at the comedies of Alan Ayckbourn or Noël Coward and certainly Neil Simon, they’re always about really serious, important issues, and their humor comes out of people either masking that pain or delving into it.” For Weaver, this play has special significance. Having worked at Interplayers in ever-expanding capacities from 1986 until 2003, he’s recently resigned from the full-time position as associate artistic director that he took up in 2013. This makes Broadway Bound the last work he’ll direct before leaving. “Eugene has a line at the end of the show,” says Weaver. “He and Stanley finally move out at the end of the play — that’s not giving anything away — [and] Eugene walks around the house in silence as he’s leaving. He looks around and he says, ‘I knew this would never be my home again.’ That has a lot of resonance for me.”  Broadway Bound • Through Sept. 20: Wed-Sat, 7:30 pm; Sat-Sun, 2 pm • $28-$30 ($22 senior/ military, $12 student) • Interplayers • 174 S. Howard • 455-7529 • interplayerstheatre.org

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3 Minute Mic: An Open Mic Poetry Event with “Remember the Word” guest Leah Sottile. 7-9pm.

621 W MALLON AVE.

Julia Gandy & Krystn Parmley. Live Music: Michael Gandy and Beau Cricchio Chocolate Apothecary will be showing a variety of mixed media pieces that were inspired by nature and finding your true self. 5-8pm.

EXPRESS EMPLOYMENT PROFESSIONALS 331 W MAIN ST.

Jeff rey Lloyd Driven by passion for deep, rich, true colors, Jeffrey Loyd’s painting style developed into an array of shapes and layers. Faith, friendship and the occasional life experience are evident giving a realistic interpretation to his work. 5-8pm.

GRANDE RONDE CELLARS 906 W 2ND AVE.

Hara Allison And Patrice Webb Acrylic Paintings and Folk songs.

INTERPLAYERS RESIDENT PROFESSIONAL THEATRE 174 S HOWARD ST.

BARILI CELLARS 608 W 2ND AVE.

Brendan Genther For September, Barili is featuring the works of Brendan Genther. Brendan’s paintings are all about color and texture and emotion, and his September show will deliver! 4-9pm.

Don Hamilton Don Hamilton will exhibit some of his historic Interplayers photos in the Gellhorn, and some of his personal/ commercial shots in the Street Level Gallery. 4:30-7:30pm.

BARRISTER WINERY

1213 W RAILROAD AVE.

Ned Fox and Katrina Brennan The photographic art of Ned Fox and the paintings of Katrina Brennan join in “Beyond Sight.” 5-10pm.

BOZZI GALLERY

221 N WALL ST. (ABOVE THE OLIVE GARDEN)

Ginger Oakes; Sticks, Stones and Sea Ginger is a ceramic artist who creates sculpture with a voice, each piece tells a story. Ginger’s inspiration comes from nature which is expressed in each magical form she creates. Ginger will be presenting an exciting new collection. 5-8pm.

LIBERTY CIDERWORKS

164 S WASHINGTON ST., SUITE 300

David Wang Enjoy award-winning craft cider along with oil pastel and pen and ink drawings by Mr. David Wang, a professor of architecture at Washington State University. 4-9pm.

LUXE

1017 W 1ST AVE.

15 youth Spokane artists in collaboration with Beverly Hill-Kleinstein & Garric Simonsen Convo Art Youth Exhibit - Converse

808 W MAIN ST.

Pint Size Picasso’s - Painting Class First Night Spokane & Polka Dot Pottery. Join in the fun! Two Sessions only, $10.00 fee. Register online. Ages 10 & older. 5:30pm & 6:30pm.

2316 W 1ST AVE.

Felisa Carranza, Ildikó Kalapács and Mike Ross Experience the MAC exhibits, 100 Stories - A Centennial Exhibition. Music by Mike Ross - Bluesy Rock and Spanish guitar solos. Artist demonstrations by Felisa Carranza and Ildikó Kalapács. Café MAC Specials.

MARKETPLACE WINERY 39 W PACIFIC AVE.

Maxie Ray Mills Great wine, great music, great people! With artist Maxie Ray Mills. 6-9pm.

MI CASA

14 N POST ST.

Flamenco Music by Matt.

NECTAR TASTING ROOM 120 N STEVENS ST.

N M Oneill & Darin Hilderbrand Nectar welcomes contemporary artist N. M. O’Neill, musician Darin Hilderbrand and a winery visit from Skylite Cellars. Come for the art, stay for the food, wine and music. Call to reserve a spot 509.869.1572. 5-10pm. 822 W SPRAGUE AVE.

108 N POST ST.

POLKA DOT POTTERY

MAC, NORTHWEST MUSEUM OF ARTS AND CULTURE

PATIT CREEK CELLARS

BISTANGO

Chris Lucas Chris Lucas is back at Bistango. Always a pleasure and a treat for guests! 6-9pm.

shoe art by talented local youth. Art Matters Spokane & Operation Healthy Family present original Converse shoe art created by Spokane youth. We will celebrate the “Art Convo” event with music by DJ Twin Towers, Paper Cutout Crew break dancers, and cupcakes. The break dancers start at 6pm. You won’t want to miss this event! 5-9pm.

Steven Scroggins, Angela Marie Project Enjoy Steven Scroggins debut into the world of encaustic wax paintings with upbeat music from Angela Marie Project. Experience our newest wine and Spokane’s best selection of artisan cheeses to taste and take home.

PINOT’S PALETTE 32 W 2ND AVE.

Pinot’s Palette Artists: Ali Blackwood, Heather Hofstetter, Ashley Moss Come check out our artists amazing work, and paint your own masterpiece for $10! Pinot’s Palette Artists: Ali Blackwood, Heather Hofstetter, and Ashley Moss. 4-7pm.

downtownspokane.org | spokanearts.org | Brought to you by Downtown Spokane and Spokane Arts

POTTERY PLACE PLUS

203 N WASHINGTON ST. (ADJACENT TO AUNTIE’S BOOKSTORE)

Kris Howell & Debbie Soldnickovich TEXTURE is the theme! Silk painted with dye, salt and water. Jewelry textured with rollers, hammers, and keum boo. 5-9pm.

RAMBLIN’ ROAD CRAFT BREWERY 730 N COLUMBUS ST.

Nathan McKenzie-O’Neill Born and raised in Spokane, Nathan is a visual installation artist as well as a sculptor and potter. In his youth, Nathan traveled the world as part of a performing arts show, which was when his passion for the arts in its many expressions began. Nathan strives for his art to be a true testament of his authentic expression. 4-9pm.

RIVER CITY BREWING 121 S CEDAR ST.

Liquid Art Series From the Mind of Moose “Liquid Art” is a one-time beer we make for each First Friday. Using a special style of keg, a Firkin, we cask-condition and ferment a special beer that we pour that day only. 3-9pm.

RIVER PARK SQUARE - FIRST NIGHT RISING STARS - KRESS GALLEY 808 W MAIN ST.

Christina Duebel Christina Deubel describes her work as an expression of color, emotion and feeling that brings the viewer in and entices them to learn the story behind each piece. Her style varies from still life paintings, fly fishing artwork and surreal expressionism. 5:30-7:30pm.

www.downtownspokane.org/ first-friday-map.php

5th!

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JAM SESSION IPA G STRING BLONDE inlander.com

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 43

MOVIE TIMES on

FILM | SHORTS

NOW PLAYING

side of the screen informs the priest that he’s going to be killed. The priest then goes out looking for his eventual killer, trying to figure out why he’s a target. Also stars Chris O’Dowd and Kelly Reilly. (MB) Rated R

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

It’s been a few years since James Franco’s ape Caesar took smart pills and then led every other ape in the greater Bay Area on a rampage of epic proportions. Those smart pills ended up causing a worldwide epidemic, killing off much of the human race. War took care of many others. Now, the surviving humans are bristling up against the apes, led by Caesar and the two species are on the brink of war. (MB) Rated PG-13

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

Back to School Fair Trad e Style Fair Trade • Earth Friendly • Local

Searchable by Movie, by Theater, or Time

35 W. Main, Spokane

The girl has cancer, the boy is in remission from cancer; this story can only end badly. As far as teenage cancer love stories go, John Green’s recent young adult novel of the same name isn’t half bad — not nearly as sappy as A Walk to Remember. With Shailene Woodley (The Descendants, Divergent) as the lead for this film adaption, many lovesick teenage girls and their boyfriends will show up for this one. (LJ) Rated PG-13

THE GIVER

www.kizurispokane.com

We’re More Than Vanilla

Based on the classic young adult novel of the same name, The Giver is set in a utopian society with almost no struggle or pain. When a young man (Brenton Thwaites) is selected to learn the history of his surroundings, the truth of how things came to be so perfect comes into view. Starring Jeff Bridges as the Giver and Meryl Streep as the Chief Elder. (MB) Rated PG-13

GHOSTBUSTERS

The 1984 blockbuster is celebrating its 30th anniversary, which is why it’s back in theaters. You should know what it’s about by now, but if you don’t, just go see it. You’ll thank us. (MB) Rated PG

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

The titular Guardians are a ragtag, fivepronged crew of interstellar outcasts tasked with stopping Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace), a rogue zealot bent on planetary destruction. The Guardians are led by Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), a cocky, wisecracking treasure hunter from Earth who likes to go by Star-Lord. (SS) Rated PG-13

HUNDRED- FOOT JOURNEY

o too! hes & espress

sandwic

After relocating from their home country, India, the Kadam family decides to open an Indian restaurant, Maison Mumbai, in their new home in the south of France. After seeing Maison Mumbai, Madame Mallory, the harsh restaurant owner across the street, senses competition and treats her new competitors with vengeance. (MAB) Rated PG

IF I STAY

IN KENDALL YARDS 1238 W. Summit Parkway • 321-7569 44 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

Mia Hall (Chloë Grace Moretz) is a cello prodigy awaiting news of whether she’s been accepted to Juilliard. But then she’s on a family car trip with her parents (Mireille Enos and Joshua Leonard)

and younger brother (Jakob Davies) that turns tragic. Mia awakens from the wreckage of an accident on an icy road to find that she hasn’t actually awakened: Her body is in critical condition, and her out-of-body experience allows her to see the life to which she’ll return if she chooses to fight for that life. (SR) Rated PG-13

LET’S BE COPS

Best friends Ryan (Jake Johnson from New Girl) and Justin (Damon Wayans Jr.) dress up as cops for a costume party, only to realize they like the attention the uniform gains them. Things quickly escalate however, when they get involved with some real mobsters. Soon their pretend badges aren’t nearly as fun as they used to be. Meanwhile, many ridiculous gags keep the audience laughing (many involving comedians Rob Riggle and Keegan-Michael Key) until the plot has to kick in at the end. (LJ) Rated R

LUCY

Scarlett Johansson continues her scifi streak playing the titular character working as a drug mule in Taiwan when a drug accidentally leaks into her system, giving her access to 100 percent of her brain. Now in possession of otherworldly powers, Lucy goes on a rampage to take vengeance against those who’ve wronged her. (MB) Rated R

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

Stanley (Colin Firth) is a touring stage illusionist who also delights in acting as a debunker of fraudulent mediums and diviners of all kinds. So when he’s informed by an old friend that a young woman named Sophie (Emma Stone) is enjoying the patronage of a wealthy family in France while claiming to make contact with the dead husband of the matriarch (Jacki Weaver), Stanley is more than happy to take on the job of exposing her. (SR) Rated PG-13

A MOST WANTED MAN

It’s tough to see these posthumously released Phillip Seymour Hoffman films and realize the talent that was lost, but here we go again with A Most Wanted Man. Hoffman plays a German intelligence officer who is trying to ferret out terrorists in Hamburg, the city where the Sept. 11 attacks were planned and where paranoia runs high. (MB) Rated R

THE NOVEMBER MAN

Pierce Brosnan stars as a fierce exCIA member who winds up back in the game and chasing after a killer he trained himself. He’s formerly known as November Man because “after he’s through, nothing lives.” Even in the age of retirement, the November Man is equally matched with the young man he now calls enemy, but may not be prepared for the involvement of highprofile CIA and Russian government members. (MS) Rated R

SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

A follow up to 2005’s Sin City, this installment, directed by Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez, consists of little more than vignettes on vengeance and cruel parades of sociopathic power performed as gleefully ultraviolent shadow plays. A movie where disjointed parts never connect into a cohesive whole and instead merely bounce around in a random, nasty game of pinball. Is it paradoxical to suggest that even nihilistic stories need a reason to be told? (MJ) Rated R

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Your favorite post-pubescent crimefighting amphibians are back on the big screen after a couple decades away and they have a bit of a different look, but still love to kick butt and eat pizza. This doesn’t stray far from the established TMNT storyline as the four ninjas go after a crime lord who is trying to destroy New York City. Megan Fox stars as television reporter April O’Neil. (MB) Rated PG-13

WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL

It remains one of the most incredible winning streaks of all time. Between 1992 and 2003, De La Salle High school in Concord, California, won 151 consecutive games. This film is based on a 2003 book about the team and details the sometimes turbulent experiences of the players and coaches who played for the school during and after the record streak. Stars Jim “dude who played Jesus” Caviezel as legendary head coach Bob Ladouceur. (MB) Rated PG 

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

100

Boyhood Planet of the Apes

Frank

Guardians/Galaxy

The One I Love

Sin City 2

Ninja Turtles

DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

FILM | EVENT

GEAR

only

Visit our lobby at 1227 W Summit Pkwy or e-mail deniseb@inlander.com

FRI, SEPTEMBER 5TH TO THURS, SEPTEMBER 11TH

Transformers: Age of Extinction FRI-THURS 9:10PM

Yippie-ki-yay...

Die Laughing

AS ABOVE/SO BELOW

R Daily (3:15) (5:15) 7:20 9:25 Sat-Sun (11:15) (1:15)

How to Train Your Dragon 2 FRI 5:00, SAT-SUN 12:30 5:00 MON-THURS 5:00

WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL

PG Daily (4:30) 7:00 9:30 Sat-Sun (11:15) (1:50)

IF I STAY

PG-13 Daily (4:25) 6:45 9:00 Sat-Sun (11:40) (2:00) PG-13 Daily (4:00) 6:40 9:20 Sat-Sun (10:50) (1:15)

THE GIVER

Maleficent FRI 7:10, SAT-SUN 2:45 7:10 MON-THURS 7:10

BY MIKE BOOKEY

NOVEMBER MAN

R Daily (5:00) 7:25 9:45 Sat-Sun (12:15) (2:40)

THE EXPENDABLES 3

Why Die Hard and other dated action films provide more laughs than gasps as the years pass he Inlander’s Suds and Cinema series has thus relied wholly on comedies, mostly because we figured people would want to laugh while they drank their locally made beer. But what if, we thought, you could laugh at something that wasn’t a comedy? What if you could yell out lines like “What kind of terrorists are you?” and “Yippie-ki-yay mother------!” with a bunch of other people also shouting out those lines? And what if we were allowed to collectively remember that the dad from Family Matters was supposed to be taken seriously? Those possibilities were more than intriguing, and that’s why we’re showing Die Hard on Sept. 10 at the Bing Crosby Theater. Die Hard was not a joke when it came out. It was the action movie of the late 1980s, even if the technology-assisted blockbusters of the early ’90s made us forget its status. Bruce Willis, already a TV star thanks to his role opposite Cybill Shepherd in Moonlighting, became a certified action god thanks to his role as John McClane, which he’d go on to reprise for four sequels, each more disappointing than the previous one. The original Die Hard, though? That was about as badass as you could get in 1988. You can’t blame the fact that Die Hard is silly when viewed 26 years after it was filmed,

Airway Heights 10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444

PG-13 Daily (5:00) 7:10 9:25 Sat-Sun (12:30) (2:45)

LET’S BE COPS

R Daily (3:00) (5:15) 7:20 9:50 Sat-Sun (12:45)

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

PG-13 Daily (4:30) 6:45 9:00 Sat-Sun (11:50) (2:15)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

PG-13 Daily (4:20) 7:00 9:40 Sat-Sun (10:40) (1:40)

because that’s how action movies were made in those days, and for a few years to follow. Bad guys were always written just a sliver less evil than Satan, and good guys flirted with invincibility and were seemingly required to provide at least a dozen puns by film’s end. Laws of physics were abused and the plot holes, wow, they could swallow you whole (like why did the bad guys have to pretend to be terrorists in Die Hard? Just to cut the power? Why not just cut the power?). Action movies, with a few exceptions, remain ridiculous even today, and I think you can attribute at least some of that to Die Hard, its sequels and its imitators. That grandiose, explosionfueled ethos of the 1980s action film never fully died, even if they’ve found ways to cut down on the cheesiness. But hey, if they put a shoeless, bleeding, offduty cop in a ventilation shaft to fight off terrorist bank robbers for the next big holiday blockbuster, people would still lap that stuff up. And they wouldn’t laugh a bit. n mikeb@inlander.com Suds and Cinema: Die Hard • Wed, Sept. 10 • 6:30 pm doors and beer sales, 7:30 pm movie • $4 entry, $4 pints from 12 String Brewing Co. • Bing Crosby Theatre • 901 W. Sprague

LUCY

The Rocky Horror Picture Show SAT MIDNIGHT

R Daily (3:00) (5:15) 7:30 9:30 Sat-Sun (11:00) (1:00)

Wandermere

12622 N Division • 509-232-7727

50 TO 1

PG-13 Daily (2:10) (4:30) 6:50 9:15 Fri-Sun (11:50)

THE IDENTICAL

PG Daily (12:10) (2:30) (4:50) 7:10 9:25

AS ABOVE/SO BELOW

R Daily (1:15) (3:15) (5:15) 7:20 9:25 Fri-Sun (11:15)

NOVEMBER MAN

R Daily (12:15) (2:40) (5:00) 7:25 9:45

WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL

PG Daily (1:50) (4:30) 7:00 9:30 Fri-Sun (11:15)

THE MAGIC LANTERN

PG-13 Daily (2:00) (4:25) 6:45 9:00 Fri-Sun (11:40)

FRI SEPT 5TH - THUR SEPT 11TH

PG-13 Daily (1:15) (4:00) 6:40 9:20 Fri-Sun (10:50)

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT (95 MIN PG13)

PG-13 Daily (12:30) (2:45) (5:00) 7:10 9:25

Fri/Sat: 6:45 Sun: 4:45 Tue-Thur: 6:45

BELLE (100 MIN PG) *last weekend!

Fri/Sat: 4:45 Sun: 2:45

SNOWPIERCER (120 MIN R) *last week Fri/Sat: 8:30 Sun: 6:30 Tue-Thur: 8:30

IDA (80 MIN) *last week

Fri/Sat: 4:15 Sun: 2:15 Tue-Thur: 5:15

ALIVE INSIDE (73 MIN PG)

Fri/Sat: 5:45 Sun: 3:45 Tue-Thur: 5:45

THE ONE I LOVE (91 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 7:15 Sun: 5:15 Tue-Thur: 7:15 FRANK (90 MIN R) *last week Fri/Sat: 9:00 Sun: 7:00 Tue-Thur: 9:00

25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $8 www.magiclanternspokane.com

IF I STAY

THE EXPENDABLES 3 THE GIVER

LET’S BE COPS

R Daily (12:45) (3:00) (5:15) 7:20 9:50

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

PG-13 Daily (2:00) (4:20) 7:15 9:30 Fri-Sun (11:45)

INTO THE STORM

PG-13 Daily (1:00) (5:00)

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

PG-13 Daily (4:20) 9:40 Fri-Sun (10:40) In 2D Daily (1:00) (1:40) (3:40) 6:20 7:00 9:00

THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY

PG Daily (1:40) (4:10) 6:50 9:30 Fri-Sun (11:00)

LUCY

R Daily (3:00) 7:10 9:20

PLANES: FIRE & RESCUE PG Fri-Sun (11:00)

Showtimes in ( ) are at bargain price. Special Attraction — No Passes Showtimes Effective 9/5/14-9/11/14

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 45

Thurs-Sat • 7pm-2am

412 W. Sprague Ave. 509.747.2302

INSIDE

THURS -- SAT

FRI

THUR

$3 WELLS ALL WEEKEND! THIRSTY THURSDAY

MICROBREWS $

4 Per Pint!

3 FIREBALL FRIDAY

$3 COVER

POWER HOUR

10:30-12AM

Any drink - $6!

Like us on Facebook for upcoming events & specials! 46 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

The Right Fit

L.A.-based No Age plays Bartfest Friday.

Bartfest is billing itself as the festival for those who don’t really like festivals BY LAURA JOHNSON

ith Bartfest, the new three-day music festival hitting this weekend, everything from the meticulously curated lineup to the ticket price is intentional. “I’d say this is the festival for people who don’t like the huge crowds and rowdy atmosphere other festivals offer,” says Bartlett co-owner Karli Ingersoll, sitting in her establishment’s café last week. “We’re bringing in a lot of pop indie acts; the lineup is more focused than other festivals. It’ll just be a different vibe.” She says Bartfest is more of a block party than a festival, as it’s happening at the Bartlett and nYne, side by side. And even though there’s been an onslaught of music festivals in Spokane, as well as the nation, as of

late, she says the successful ones fill some sort of niche. That’s what she and her business partner/husband Caleb Ingersoll have tried to achieve with Bartfest. Over at nYne, owner Kitty Kane says she’s thrilled to be a part of the event. “I haven’t seen it yet that people are over festivals,” Kane says. “People continue to come out, and with Bartfest, you don’t know until you try.” While the event is all-ages, nYne becomes 21 and over after 9 pm. There will be an entire music-free hour leading up to that, for easy transition. Yes, the $90 weekend pass ticket price may seem steep, but Ingersoll explains that the money essentially all goes to the bands. “We want bands to want to stop in Spokane,” Inger-

soll explains. And with that, she wants people who live here to come out and support. As for this weekend, Ingersoll doesn’t know what to expect, but says there’s been a positive response to the lineup. “With this festival you can see nearly every band on the lineup because of how we spaced it out,” she says. “Music festivals are about discovering new bands you may not have heard of. Bartfest will be perfect for that.”  Bartfest • Fri-Sun, Sept. 5-7, various times • $25-$90 • All-ages unless noted • The Bartlett and nYne • 228 and 232 W. Sprague • bartfest.com • 747-2174 ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 47

MUSIC | FESTIVALS “THE RIGHT FIT,” CONTINUED... W I T H

S P E C I A L

G U E S T

The Courtneys

No Age

Normal Babies

WHAT TO HEAR BY BEN SALMON

The Bartfest lineup features a variety of regional and local indie acts. Here are the ones to which you should especially pay attention. See the full lineup at bartfest.com.

FRIDAY

The Courtneys 7:20 pm at nYne The leap from The Courtneys’ self-titled 2013 album to this year’s “Lost Boys” single is stunning. Gone are the thin guitars and unsteady melodies, replaced with a confident, catchy one-chord swagger befitting the band’s Flying Nun/‘90s indierock influences. Telekinesis, 9 pm at nYne After two albums of some of the sharpest, snappiest pop rock around, Michael Lerner loosened his grip on

Telekinesis slightly for 2013’s Dormarion, incorporating more synths and moods. The result: Hooks that not only burst, but bloom. No Age, 9:45 pm at the Bartlett Randy Randall and Dean Spunt long ago established No Age as a paragon of serrated art-punk, which is why their fourth album, An Object — more conventional, subdued — is confounding. Still … I trust them, and I’ll follow.

SATURDAY

Normal Babies, 3 pm at the Bartlett Great guitar tone is like pornography: You know it when you experience it. Even through their lo-fi recordings, you can hear that the 2014 Inlander Band to Watch Normal Babies know how to squeeze perfectly scruffy slack-rock sound out of their sixstrings. Young Magic, 8:15 pm at the Bartlett Young Magic’s debut album Melt was one of 2012’s more intrigu-

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PURCHASE TICKETS AT ANY TICKETSWEST OUTLET, TICKETSWEST.COM OR CHARGE BY PHONE AT 800.325.SEAT Patio is still open! Enjoy the last days of summer with us!

Inlander.com/GetListed

N I W O T R E T N E A Pair of VIP Tickets to

Toby Keith

Friday, September 22nd

Enter at Inlander.com/freestuff 21 West Main Ave 509-473-9455

SaranacPublicHouse.com

48 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

• Music • Sports • Theater

Like Inlander, Win Tickets!

/TheInlander

• Visual Arts • Words • Etc.

an evening of stand up comedy with

Anjelah Johnson saturday september 13 martin Woldson theater at the Fox 1001 w. sprague ave · spokane, wa 7:30pm show · all ages tickets at ticketswest charge By phone 800-325-seat

Robert DeLong

ing releases, a beat-driven blend of dream-pop, electro-thump and global sounds. This year’s Breathing Statues follows suit but doubles down on the dreaminess. Robert DeLong, midnight at nYne Robert DeLong makes electronic music, but not the kind that has taken over the world in recent years. Instead, he incorporates his interest in singing, drums and indie rock and turns out something oddly danceable and a bit melancholy.

Pillar Point

SUNDAY

Shelby Earl, 4:40 pm at nYne In 2009, Seattle’s Shelby Earl quit a corporate job to pursue music full time. Her cubicle’s loss is our gain, as Earl’s two albums reveal a skilled baroque-pop songwriter with a massive voice and an old soul. Pillar Point, 5:45 pm at nYne Throw Me The Statue’s 2007 album Moonbeams is a modern classic of hand-clappy, heart-on-sleeve indie-pop. Now, the band’s main

dave rawlings machine

Glasser

man Scott Reitherman is crafting earworms out of synths and sadness with new project Pillar Point. Don’t worry: The hooks still hit you at every turn. Glasser, 9:45 pm at the Bartlett Few musicians have chosen a performance name as apt as Cameron Mesirow, whose work as Glasser is smooth and seamless, a shimmering mix of soulful pop and ethereal electronica. This is music for an otherworldly afterparty. 

featuring: gillian welch · John paul Jones · willie watson · paul kowert

tuesday sept 23 bing Crosby theater

901 west sprague ave · spokane, wa · 7:30pm show · all ages tickets at ticketswest · charge By phone 800-325-seat tickets also at Bing crosBy theatre Box office, the spokane arena Box office & the inB performing arts center Box office

AND RAINING JANE Wednesday oCtober 22 inb perForming arts Center

334 w. spokane falls Blvd spokane, wa 8:00pm show · all ages tickets at ticketswest charge By phone 800-325-seat

IgnIte the nIght tour

& old dominion monday oCtober 27 martin Woldson theater at the Fox 1001 w. sprague ave · spokane, wa 8:00pm show · all ages tickets at ticketswest · charge By phone hone 800-325-seat

& greyhounds

saturday november 8 inb perForming arts Center 334 w. spokane falls Blvd · spokane, wa 8:00pm show · all ages tickets at ticketswest charge By phone 800-325-seat

InlandImaging_090414_6H_EW.pdf

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 49

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

ROCK BLACKWATER PROPHET

fter a year in the making, local threepiece Blackwater Prophet finally releases their first album this weekend. Recorded in a friend’s basement, the new work features everything you’ve come to expect from their loud and sometimes spacy shows — eight tracks of powerful, fuzzed-out psychedelic rock, likely to make you want to listen over and over again. After two and a half years of playing around the Spokane area, this show is also the kickoff for Blackwater Prophet’s first regional tour. The album sells for $8. — LAURA JOHNSON Blackwater Prophet CD release with the Static Tones and Spokane Dan and the Blues Blazers • Fri, Sept. 5, at 7:30 pm • Free • All-ages • The Big Dipper • 171 S. Washington • bigdipperevents.com • 624-4319

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 09/04

ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Performers on the Patio feat. Doghouse Boyz BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen BUCKHORN INN, Spokane River Band CHECKERBOARD BAR, Quiet Morning and the Calamity COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, PJ Destiny CURLEY’S, The Usual Suspects THE DAM BAR & GRILL (326-8000), Chris Rieser & Jay Rawley THE FLAME (534-9121), DJ WesOne J THE HOP!, Jake Anthony, Dark Oz, Stevie Lynne, Matthew Sonntag, Justin Brache JONES RADIATOR, Los Chingadores J KNITTING FACTORY, MGK & Friends J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Just Plain Darin J LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Particlehead MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE (208-265-9382), Open mic with Scott Reid O’SHAY’S, Open mic RED ROOM LOUNGE, Poncho’s Soul Experience ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Emeris J SPOKANE ARENA, Boston with Night Ranger THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, One Drop, Facedrop WEBSTER’S RANCH HOUSE SALOON, Pacific Suns ZOLA, Phil Lamb

Friday, 09/05

J THE BARTLETT, Bartfest (See story on page 47) feat. Mirror Mirror, La Luz, Blouse, No Age BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn J THE BIG DIPPER, Blackwater Prophet CD Release (see story above) with Static Tones

50 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

FESTIVAL HILLYARD HIPPIE HAPPENING I

f there’s one thing hippies do really well, it’s peacefully gathering to jam out and celebrate being hippies. The “happening” begins and ends with Jimi Hendrix’s version of “The Star Spangled Banner” performed by various artists, and in between features local artists, including Tommy G, Six-Strings n’ Pearls and a jam session that might even include you. This party wouldn’t be complete without a nod to marijuana, appropriately included in the 420 Wheel, a game that gives prizes for every spin. Other games include a Best Dancer Contest, Name that Tune and Best Hippie Garb. Go ahead: break out your old radical tie-dye and everything flowy. — MOLLY SMITH Hillyard Hippie Happening feat. Kozmik DreamZz and more • Sat, Sept. 6, 10 am-6 pm • Free • All-ages • Market Street and Queen Avenue

BIG SKY’S TAVERN (489-2073), Red Eye Logic BOLO’S, Untyed BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR & GRILL, Dragonfly J BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE, The Oracle’s Kitchen J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, The Lacks, Martay, As Fire Falls COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kicho, Shiner CURLEY’S, Nova THE DAM BAR & GRILL, Dan Conrad FEDORA PUB, Bill Bozly FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Karma’s Circle THE FLAME, DJ Big Mike GRANDE RONDE CELLARS, Patrice Webb J THE HOP!, Aghori, Burn thy Crow, Element A440, Helldorado, Toy Called God, Amnija, Aardvark IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY (208-2902280), Charley Packard IRON GOAT BREWING CO. (474-

0722), Carey Brazil IRON HORSE BAR, JamShack JOHN’S ALLEY, Proper Knocks Tour: Northwest Hip-hop JONES RADIATOR, La Fin Absolute du Monde MARKET PLACE WINERY (838-7815), Maxie Ray Mills MAX AT MIRABEAU, Cary Fly Band THE MEMBERS LOUNGE (703-7115), Fabulous Fridays ft. DJ Wesone MI CASA (443-3420), Solo Flamenco Guitar feat. Mateo Deran MOOSE LOUNGE (208-664-7901), Slightly Committed NECTAR (869-1572), Just Plain Darin J NEWPORT CITY PARK, Newport Music Fest feat. Wild Coyotes, Westen Reunion, Bluestreak, Heartbreak Pass and more J NORTHWEST MUSEUM OF ARTS & CULTURE, Mike Ross J NYNE, Bartfest feat. Wild Ones, The Courtneys, Telekinesis, Hundred Waters and more

THE PALOMINO CLUB (443-5213), Commander Cody, Cary Fly PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Bare Grass PEND OREILLE PLAYHOUSE (4479900), Open Mic RED ROOM LOUNGE, Cody Beebe & The Crooks, Undercard REPUBLIC BREWING CO., Forum Walters ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Last Chance Band ROCKER ROOM, Riverboat Dave & the Furtraders SPOKANE TRANSIT PLAZA, In-Transit UNDERGROUND 15, Unconfined, El Pelican, The Colourflies USHER’S CORNER (482-0700), Armed & Dangerous J THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Eyes Like Time Machines, Flannel Math Animal, Griffey ZOLA, Sammy Eubanks

Saturday, 09/06 J THE BARTLETT, Bartfest feat.

Normal babies, Summer Canibals, Water Monster, Dead Serious Lovers, Young Magic, Bear in Heaven BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn J THE BIG DIPPER, BBBBandits, Bad Motivators BOLO’S, Untyed BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR & GRILL, Dragonfly J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Absent Minded, Silversyde, David Speaks COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kicho, Shiner COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS (208-6642336), Eric Neuhausser CURLEY’S, Nova FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Karma’s Circle J THE HOP!, Jimny Crickett, Power Van Atum, Bronny, Mikoto Chan, Hapi, Stay Stong and Vumen-X IRON HORSE BAR, JamShack JOHN’S ALLEY, Ayo.O J KNITTING FACTORY, Madlife, Thiron X, Invasive, Black Tooth Grin,

Project Kings THE LARIAT (466-9918), Route 66 MAX AT MIRABEAU, Cary Fly Band MOOSE LOUNGE, Slightly Committed  NEWPORT CITY PARK, Newport Music Fest feat. Blackberry Bushes, Wild Coyotes, Bridges Home, Big Red Barn, Howling Gales and more  NYNE, Bartfest feat. Scott Ryan, Blackwater Prophet, Bearcubbin, Miles Cooper Seaton (of Akron/ Famity), Modern Kin, Desert Noises, Beat Connection, Robert Delong PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Erin and the Project Live ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Last Chance Band ROCKER ROOM, Riverboat Dave & the Furtraders ROCKET MARKET, Mark Ward TRINITY AT CITY BEACH, Truck Mills, Bright Moments UNDERGROUND 15, Odyssey, Flannel Math Animal  USHER’S CORNER (BLOCKPARTY), Hillyard Hippie Happening (See story on facing page) feat. Kozmik DreamZz, Tommy G., Endangered Species, Brother Moonshine & Sister Sunshine, Six-Strings & Pearls, Geezer Pimps, Strawberry Fields USHER’S CORNER, Armed & Dangerous  THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Lavoy, Sea Giant, Stone Cold Slumber Party WILLOW SPRINGS (235-4420), The Usual Suspects ZOLA, Sammy Eubanks

Sunday, 09/07

ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Concerts on the Cliff feat. Devon Wade Band  THE BARTLETT, Bartfest feat. Sea Giant, Crystalline, Joseph, Marshall McLean Band, Glasser BIG BARN BREWING CO. (238-2489), Just in Time  THE BIG DIPPER, Colony House with Knox Hamilton, Adventure Galley THE CELLAR, Pat Coast COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh CURLEY’S, Paul Layton Band DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church  INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER (279-7000), Jennifer Nettles with Brandy Clark  KELLY’S IRISH PUB, Songwriter Sundays with the Flying Mammals  NEWPORT CITY PARK, Newport Music Fest feat. Afterthoughts, Panhandle Polecats, Jackie Fox & the Hounds and more  NYNE, Bartfest feat. Pine League, Shelby Earl, Pillar Point, Wampire, Nite Jewel, Pickwick PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Ron Criscoine  SPOKANE COUNTY FAIR & EXPO CENTER (477-1766), Doo Wah Riders, Earl Wear and Haywire ZOLA, Bill Bozly

Monday, 09/08  CALYPSOS, Open Mic

EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills  THE HOP!, Doyle of Misfits, No Bragging Rights, To The Wind, Knuckle Puck, Ashylus, The Persevering Promise JOHN’S ALLEY, Mark Sexton Band  RICO’S (332-6566), Open Mic  SPOKANE COUNTY FAIR & EXPO CENTER, Big & Rich with Cowboy Troy, Old Dominion ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

MUSIC | VENUES You’re Invited to Lunch! Now Open at 1 1 am THURSDAY SEPT 4TH from Nashville, TN

Tuesday, 09/09

315 MARTINIS AND TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Anais Mitchell BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn  THE BIG DIPPER, Stone Foxes THE CIDER HOUSE (339-6102), Mark Holt CRAFTED TAP HOUSE + KITCHEN (208-292-4813), Kicho FEDORA PUB, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills JOHN’S ALLEY, Mark Sexton Band JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness ROCKET MARKET, Darin Hilderbrand  SPOKANE COUNTY FAIR & EXPO CENTER, Creedence Clearwater Revisited THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, 100 Watt Mind ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 09/10 BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BOWL’Z BITEZ AND SPIRITZ, Likes Girls EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Kicho GENO’S (368-9087), Open Mic with T&T JJ’S GRILL AND BREWHOUSE (4674267), Nate Ostrander JOHN’S ALLEY, The Stone Foxes JONES RADIATOR, Sally Bop Jazz  KNITTING FACTORY, GA’s Too Broke to Rock feat. Nothing More, Sleepwave, Drone Epidemic, Seven Cycles LA ROSA CLUB, Robert Beadling and Friends THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE (3159531), Open Turntables Night with DJ Lydell LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 SOULFUL SOUPS AND SPIRITS, Open mic  SPOKANE COUNTY FAIR & EXPO CENTER, Jars of Clay, Kutless THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Banish the Echo ZOLA, The Bossame

We’re excited to announce the beginning of a new chapter for Andy’s, we’ve surprised you with BRUNCH, filled you up with DINNER, and now we’re gonna tackle LUNCH!

ANNALISE EMERICK

“Emerick’s music is relatable and undeniably good.” – Performer Magazine

annaliseemerick.com

FRIDAY SEPT 5TH

La Fin Absolute Du’Monde w/Spokane’s own Hannah Reader

SATURDAY SEPT 6TH

Carey Brazil SUNDAY SEPT 7TH

The Nehemiah Show

Happy Time Prices All Day!

MONDAY SEPT 8TH

Trivia at 7

Game night until close

The Gateway Bar Between Downtown & Browne’s Addition

TUESDAY SEPT 9TH

FUNK TREK

Stone Cold Funk from Omaha, NE

WEDNESDAY SEPT 10TH

Sally Bop Jazz at 7:30

509.747.0304 1401 W. 1ST AVE

& Whiskey Wednesday Specials

120 E. Sprague Ave.

tickets available online at spokaneriverkeeper.org Tickets include heavy appetizers, two drink tickets, live music and a sensational silent auction! All proceeds benefit Spokane Riverkeeper

$45 in

advance

$50 at the

door

9.12.14

6:00 PM riverside place 1108 W Riverside AVe

Coming Up ...

SPOKANE COUNTY FAIR & EXPO CENTER, REO Speedwagon, Sep. 11 MOOTSY’S, Down North, Cure for the Common, Tone Collaborative, Sep. 11 THE BARTLETT, Zeus, Sep. 12 THE BIG DIPPER, KYRS Benefit Concert feat. The Bettys, Gorilla & Rabbit, Sep. 12 SOUTH PERRY PIZZA, Perry Street Shakedown feat. Five Alarm Funk, Blind Willies and more, Sep. 12 -13

usic Live m

thank you to our generous sponsors!

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEVERLY’S • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 THE BLIND BUCK • 204 N. Division • 290-6229 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BOWL’Z BITEZ & SPIRITZ• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CARLIN BAY RESORT • 14691 Idaho 97, Harrison, • 208-689-3295 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR • 20 W. Jerry Ln., Worley • 208-263-6971 CONKLING MARINA • 20 W. Jerry Ln, Worley • 208-686-1151 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRV’S BAR • 415 W. Sprague Ave. • 624-4450 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LATAH BISTRO • 4241 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 838-8338 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LIBRARY LOUNGE • 110 E. 4th Ave. •747-3371 LION’S LAIR • 205 W. Riverside Ave. • 456-5678 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR • 2718 E. 57th • 863-9313 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP • 121 E. Fifth St. • 208882-8537 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne • 443-4103 PJ’S BAR & GRILL • 1717 N. Monroe St. • 328-2153 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 THE ROCK BAR • 13921 E. Trent Ave. • 43-3796 ROCKER ROOM • 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave. • 208-676-2582 ROCKET MARKET • 726 E. 43rd Ave. • 343-2253 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SPLASH • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE SWAMP • 1904 W. Fifth Ave. • 458-2337 UNDERGROUND 15 • 15 S. Howard St. • 290-2122 THE VAULT • 120 N. Wall St. • 863-9597 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 WEBSTER’S RANCH HOUSE SALOON • 1914 N. Monroe St. • 474-9040 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 51

Blackberry Bushes String Band

MUSIC BLUEGRASS AND CAMPING

Stay a day, stay the weekend. Either way, at the Newport Music Festival you’ll hear the glorious sounds of acoustic Americana wafting throughout Newport City Park. The big acts this year include Blackberry Bushes String Band, Wild Coyotes, Howling Gaels, Big Red Barn, Panhandle Polecats and more. For those who want to do more than just listen, workshops and jam sessions are offered over the course of the three-day event. In case you missed any of the recent regional bluegrass festivals, this is your time to revel in the waning days of summer surrounded by old-time-style music. — LAURA JOHNSON Newport Music Festival • Fri-Sun, Sept. 5-7 • $10-$40; ages 12 and under free • City Park, 1033 First St., Newport, Wash. • pvbluegrass.com • 675-6590

52 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

COMMUNITY CITY CRUISE

PERFORMANCE AFRICAN ACROBATS

SpokeFest • Sun, Sept. 7, at 8 am • Start area at Spokane Falls Blvd. between Post and Stevens • $15-$20 after Sept. 1 • spokefest.org

Cirque Zuma Zuma • Fri, Sept. 5, at 8 pm; Sat, Sept. 6, at 1 pm • $20/$10 ages 12 and under • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7404

Some cyclists might say Spokane has a long way to go to reach the level of cycling awareness of other bike-friendly areas, but we’ve also come a long way in recent years. Celebrate that by riding one of four scenic routes during this year’s SpokeFest. Last year more than 2,000 community members attended, from racing cyclists to first-time riders. Families can learn bicycle safety through a clinic on the Park Loop and Bike Rodeo. Look forward to the finish line’s SpokeFair celebration with local vendors and live music. — MOLLY SMITH

In 2011, a group of performers impressed the judges and audience from the stage of America’s Got Talent. Their energy, rhythm and insane acrobatics are what drove their success, and their performance is only a taste of what has now become Cirque Zuma Zuma. Training in Kenya and Tanzania, the troupe now features 120 contortionists, dancers, acrobats and singers from across the African continent. Want to see human pyramids or a man fit his body through a tennis racket? This show has that and more. — JENNA MULLIGAN

Pick a Painting. Bring Your Friends.

GET LISTED!

Email getlisted@inlander.com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

Paint. Drink. Have Fun.

COMMUNITY FUN AT THE FAIR

View the entire calendar and RSVP at

The annual interstate fair is about as Inland Northwest as it gets. We all pay homage to our region’s agricultural bounty and Western heritage, from petting farm animals to cheering on the rodeo riders as they hang on for dear life. While many of the attractions are the same each year, don’t miss the AllAlaskan Racing Pigs, the Mutton Bustin’ kids sheep-riding competition, and, of course, the demolition derby (Sept. 13-14). Rodeo events are scheduled for Sept. 5-6, starting at 7 pm both nights. This year’s grandstand entertainment also boasts an impressive lineup with something to appeal to all tastes, including Big & Rich (Sept. 8), Jars of Clay (Sept. 10) and REO Speedwagon (Sept. 11). — CHEY SCOTT

pinotspalette.com Conveniently located on the corner of 2nd & Browne, Downtown Spokane 32 W 2nd Ave

509.290.5098

Spokane County Interstate Fair • Sept. 5-13, from 10 am-10:30 pm; Sept. 14, from 10 am-8 pm • $7/youth, seniors; $10/adults • Spokane County Fair & Expo Center • 404 N. Havana • spokanecounty.org/fair

EVENING TEACHER

CERTIFICATION INFORMATION

NIGHT

Wednesday, Sept. 10th • 6 p.m. Whitworth University – Main Campus Hawthorne Hall • Room 112

Learn how easy it is to get started toward becoming a teacher. Hear from faculty and graduates and preview a class in session.

VISUAL ART PRAIRIE SHOW

This inaugural juried art show is more accessible than it may seem at first glance. Juried shows don’t necessarily mean super-expensive, fine art, but rather the fact that not just any person can show up and call themselves an artist. The dozen regional artists showing and selling their works this weekend range from elegant, handmade jewelry to colorful, hand-painted, Shaker-style boxes by local folk artist Dianna Chelf. Also featured are photographers, hand-poured candles, paintings, fiber art and glasswork. Held at the historic Moran Prairie Grange overlooking the north end of the rolling Palouse Hills, the location and late summer season make for a prime setting. — CHEY SCOTT Art on the Prairie • Fri, Sept. 5, from 4-8 pm; Sat, Sept. 6, from 10 am-4 pm • $3/ages 12 and under free • Moran Prairie Grange • 6106 S. Palouse Hwy. • artontheprairiespokane.com

Please RSVP by calling 509.777.3222.

Read Brent’s story online. whitworth.edu/etc

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 53

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess BEARD-DEATH EXPERIENCE

This adorable, smart, funny guy I’m dating was cleanshaven when we first met, but for the past three weeks, he hasn’t shaved much. He has this really weird facial hair pattern (like patches on his cheeks that haven’t filled in well), and I don’t find it attractive. I didn’t know how to bring this up, so I mentioned it to my roommate, and she volunteered to “casually” mention it. So, last week when he and I were having drinks before going AMY ALKON out, she popped into the room and said, “Hey, Brad… still growing that beard? I think you look a lot better clean-shaven.” He seemed put off, and we went out to dinner shortly afterward, but the whole evening felt a bit weird. And he still has this patchy facial hair thing going on. —Mangy Situation Maybe his facial hair is just scared. Like the groundhog, it came up, saw its shadow, and ducked, terrified, back into his face. Nobody wants to be the one to tell a guy that his attempted sexy-man scruff is a ringer for a Hobbit’s feet or plant life struggling up after a nuclear winter. But as uncomfortable as saying something would have been for you, it had to be far more uncomfortable for him to have your roommate do it, especially right in front of you. As psychologist and linguist Steven Pinker points out in “The Stuff of Thought,” we all get that people say stuff behind our backs, but we can let it go unremarked — that is, if nobody knows that we know (that something was said about us). But, Pinker explains, once some disparagement becomes “mutual knowledge” — when others know that we know what was said — we lose face if we don’t do anything about it. And unfortunately, in this case, after your roommate said something, probably the only thing he could do to avoid looking like her puppetboy was to stubbornly avoid shaving that comb-over he’s been rocking on his face. Let some time pass, and then tell him yourself, in a way that doesn’t come off like criticism. Pet his beard, and say you think he looks good that way but you love his skin and feeling his face is sexy. What he’ll hear: He’ll spend more time in bed with his chick if he spends more time in the bathroom with his Schick.

POURING HIM A SCOLD ONE

I recently texted a girl I used to date about a year ago. I was going to be in her town, so I wrote something to the effect of “Hey, cutie…will be in your neighborhood Saturday. Want to get together for a drink?” I didn’t realize she had a new boyfriend, whom she was with when I texted. He saw the text and flipped out, as did she, calling me and accusing me of almost breaking up her relationship. I apologized, but she kept going on about it and made me feel really guilty. In retrospect, I’d like to know what I did that was so wrong. —Space Invader It’s not like you said, “Hey, cutie, let’s get freaky...and if this is being read by a boyfriend, I’m just her grandma, and Freaky is my cat we need to pick up from the vet.” The fact that her current boyfriend went all apey over your friendly drinks invitation isn’t reason to treat you like you waited till Game 7 of the World Series and sexted her on the Jumbotron. As for your apology, when a woman starts shrieking at you, it’s tempting to say you’re sorry first and then figure out what, if anything, you did wrong. But think about it: What could possibly be your error here? Failure to install the latest OS on your crystal ball? Ignoring that “check engine” light in your third eye? If your text did “almost” break up her relationship, that’s on her — for making her personal electronic device a public one and for lacking the verbal chops to put an entirely clean message from you into perspective. As for putting her little explosion into perspective, think of it the way you would a conversation with the wild-eyed guy at the bus stop who claims he’s getting messages from the aliens in his dental work. (I’m guessing your response wouldn’t be running home to clear your lawn so they can use it as a landing pad.) Perhaps just view this incident as a cautionary tale — a reminder that your next girlfriend should have not only the capacity for reason but an interest in using her brain as more than a sort of highway rest area for her hair. n ©2014, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

54 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

FRIENDS OF MANITO PLANT SALE The nonprofit’s annual sale features more than 300 species, with proceeds supporting the group’s work in the park. Sep. 6, 9 am-4 pm. Free admission. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org (456-8038) COBRA POLO CLASSIC 10th annual benefit for Ronald McDonald House Charities of Spokane, featuring a polo match, gourmet food and beverages, silent auction, whiskey and cigar tent, parade of hats, champagne divot stomp and more. Sep. 7, 12-4 pm. $225/person. Spokane Polo Club, 7500 W Hwy. 2. rmhcspokane.org (624-0500) DIRTY MARTINIS FOR CLEAN WATER Annual fundraiser for the Spokane Riverkeeper, offering appetizers, drinks from Dry Fly and River City, live music by the Milonga Trio and a silent auction. Sep. 12, 6-11 pm. $45/advance, $50/ door. Riverside Place, 1108 W. Riverside Ave. recspokane.com (835-5211) BIKE MS A 2-day, 55-150 mile bike ride through the Silver Valley to benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Sept 13-14. $65/registration with a $200 fundraising min. Silver Mountain Ski Resort, 610 Bunker Ave. bikems.org (482-2022)

COMEDY

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) SHORT STACKS The BDT Players & Friends try out new material, rework ideas in stand-up, sketch, music, film and more. First Fridays of the month at 10 pm. $5. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. (Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) OPEN MIC COMEDY: Wednesdays at 8 pm. Ages 21+. Free. Brooklyn Deli & Lounge, 122 S. Monroe St. (835-4177) JEFF FOXWORTHY The widely-recognized Blue Collar Comedy Tour member performs live on the outdoor stage. Sep. 12. $59-$79. Northern Quest, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com (481-6700) COMEDIAN ANJELAH JOHNSON: The actress and former Oakland Raiders cheerleader performs a live, familyfriendly, stand-up comedy show. Sept. 13, 7:30 pm. $25-$35. Fox Theater, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200)

COMMUNITY

ALL-ORIGINAL CAR SHOW Hosted by the Historical Automotive Society of Spokane and the Inland Empire (HASSIE), featuring cars from 1900-1984 that have not been modified. Also includes live music, food, raffles and more. Sept. 6. Free to attend. Mirabeau Park Meadows, 13500 Mirabeau Parkway. (922-3431) BRIAN WILLIAMS MEMORIAL RIDE Annual poker ride hosted by North Idaho College in memory of a former student. Open to riders of all ages. Preand post-ride events include live music, a barbecue, silent auction, door prizes and more. Sept. 6, 12:30-7 pm. $25.

O’Shay’s, 313 E. Coeur d’Alene Lake Dr. oshaysirishpub.com (208-676-7169) FESTIVAL LATINO AMERICANO Latin American culture celebration featuring performances, dancing, live music and more. Sept. 6, 6-10 pm. Free. Rogers High School, 1622 E. Wellesley. (324-1995) GRANDPARENT’S DAY CELEBRATION Greater Spokane County Meals on Wheels hosts its 5th annual event, with a live comedy show, lunch, a silent auction and more. Proceeds benefit the program’s mission. Sept. 7, 1-4 pm. $15; ages 10 and under free. CenterPlace Regional Event Center, 2426 N. Discovery Place Dr. (924-6976) SPOKEFEST 2014 The 7th annual community cycling festival includes a 1- to 2-mile family ride, a 9-mile Spokane Falls loop, a 21-mile river loop, or the 50-mile Four Mounds Half Century loop. Sept. 7, 8 am. $8-$20. Riverfront Park. spokefest.org KIDICAL MASS BIKE RIDE Kids and families are invited to attend a safe, 3-mile community bike ride through the South Perry neighborhood, riding anything that rolls. Sept. 11, 5:30-6:30 pm. Free. Two Wheel Transit, 817 S. Perry St. summerparkways.com

FESTIVAL

PALOUSE EMPIRE FAIR Community fair featuring ag displays/exhibits, live music and entertainment, a beer/wine garden, rodeo, and the first ever Miss Palouse Empire Fair. Sept. 4-7. $3-$6. Colfax, Wash. palouseempirefair.org (509-397-6263) SPOKANE COUNTY INTERSTATE FAIR The fair is open daily, Sept. 5-13 from 10 am-10 pm, and Sept. 14, from 10 am-8 pm. Events include the PRCA Rodeo (Sept. 5-6), live music, the demolition derby (Sept. 13-14), agricultural displays, livestock, carnival rides and games and food vendors. $7/kids, seniors; $10/adults. Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. spokanecounty.org/fair (477-1766) HILLYARD HIPPIE HAPPENING The fifth annual community event features live, local music, a “Peace Wall,” prize wheel, costume contests, local vendors and more. Sept. 6, 10 am-6 pm. Free. At Market and Queen intersection in the Hillyard neighborhood, Spokane. HOPPED UP ON ART, MUSIC & BEER The 2nd annual arts and culture fest features local artisans, performers, musicians and other creators, along with locally-made beer and food from Azars. Family-friendly. Sept. 6, 2-10 pm. Free. Hopped Up Brewing Co., 10421 E. Sprague Ave. tinyurl.com/mqgu6jj (509-413-2488) PALOUSE DAYS Featured events include the Palouse Days Parade, pancake breakfast, car show, book sale, live music, kids activities, duck race and more. Sep. 13. Free. Palouse, Wash. visitpalouse.com (878-1991) PORCHFEST West Central neighborhood community members open their porches to host local musicians for public concerts open to all. Line-up and participating homes TBA. Sep. 13, 3-7 pm. Free. Spokane. marshallinspokane.com/PorchFest

FILM

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey after meeting in a cancer

support group. Showing Sept. 4-6. $5$7. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. panida.org (208-263-9191) NO NO: A DOCKUMENTARY A special one night screening of the Dock Ellis documentary film. Sept. 4, 7:30 pm. $8. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main Ave. (209-2383) ROCKET MARKET MOVIES: THE PRINCESS BRIDE An outdoor movie screening projected on the side of the market, starts at dusk. Sept. 4. Free. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) NOURISHING OUR CHILDREN A film on one man’s quest in the 1930s to discover the diets of 12 indigenous groups world wide. Sept. 6, 11 am-1 pm. Free. South Hill Library, 3324 S. Perry. (230-0804) ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW A midnight screening of the cult classic, featuring a performance by the Absolute Pleasure shadow cast and prop bags. Tickets available in advance at the box office. Sept. 6, 11:59 pm. $5. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com (327-1050) SUDS & CINEMA: DIE HARDT: The next installment of the Inlander’s beer and film series is a showing of the classic ’80s action movie, with beer from Twelve String Brewing Co. ($4/pint). Doors open at 6:30 pm. Sep. 10, 7:30 pm. $4. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. inlander.com/sudsandcinema

FOOD & DRINK

VINO WINE TASTING: Fri, Sept. 5 highlights Vino’s “Wine of the Month Club” selections, from 3-7:30 pm. Also that evening is a First Friday reception for photographers Bill & Kathy Kostelec. $10. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington St. vinowine.com (838-1229) SPO HOP 2014 Iron Goat host a fresh hop-picking party, followed by live music (3 pm) and food trucks at the brewery. All are invited to help harvest and those who do receive $2-off Spo Hop pints. Sept. 6, 11 am-2 pm. Iron Goat Brewing Co., 2204 E. Mallon Ave., Ste. B. irongoatbrewing.com (701-8244) SPRINGS OF HOPE CREAMERY TOUR A tour of the raw creamery and farm in Moyie Springs, Idaho. Participants must RSVP; meet at Pilgrim’s Market to carpool to the farm at 9 pm. Sept. 6, 11 am-3 pm. Pilgrim’s Natural Market, 1316 N. Fourth St, CdA. (208-676-9730) KITCHEN ENGINE 8TH ANNIVERSARY The locally-owned kitchen supply store celebrates 8 years, with local food/coffee demos, samples and more. Events run Sept. 10-12, store opens at 9 am daily. Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon Ave. thekitchenengine.com (328-3335) SOURS ‘N SEPTEMBER The inaugural event is set to feature 20+ sour beers from regional breweries, along with food specials incorporating sour beers; live music, beer sampling, an all-ages tent and more. Sept. 11-13. Free admission. Lantern Tap House, 1004 S. Perry St. thelanterntavern.com (315-9531) CIDER APPRECIATION CLASS A tasting and education class with guest host Rick Hastings of Spokane’s Liberty Ciderworks, in celebration of Washington Cider Week, Sept. 4-14. Sep. 12, 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. libertycider.com (509-343-2253)

MUSIC

NEWPORT MUSIC FESTIVAL The weekend festival features 12 regional bands, camping, workshops, a talent contest, jamming, open mic sessions and food and craft vendors. Sept. 5-7. $10-$15/day, $35-$40/person for overnight camping. Newport City Park, First St. and Calispel Ave. pvbluegrass.com (509-434-4200) STEPHANIE MEYERS The UTEP violin and viola professor performs musical masterpieces by Johann Sebastian Bach and other Baroque era composers. Sept. 6, 8-9:30 pm. Free. Gonzaga, 502 E. Boone Ave. gonzaga.edu/music BEGIN AGAIN! Concert in the MAC’s outdoor amphitheater featuring local bands the Camaros and Pine League. Beer/wine and light food available for purchase. Museum galleries are also open to explore. Sep. 12, 6-8:30 pm. $5. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. (456-3931) CELLIST DANIEL GAISFORD A free concert by the world-renowned American cellist who has performed with orchestras around the U.S., Canada and abroad, and made his debut at the Lincoln Center. Sept. 12, 7 pm. Free. Steinway Piano Gallery, 13418 E. Nora Ave. (327-4266)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

SEAHAWKS VS. GREEN BAY The theater hosts a live screening of the NFL season kickoff game. Food/drink available for purchase. Sep. 4, 4:30 pm. Free. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. (327-1050) THURSDAY NIGHT PADDLES The Coeur

d’Alene Canoe & Kayak club hosts weekly paddles, open to the public, Thursdays from 5:30-7:30 pm. Free. See website for details. cdacanoekayakclub.com WOMEN’S WEEKEND 2014 A 3-day retreat offering relaxation, adventure and fun with catered meals and activities, an annual Girl Scout fundraising event. Sept. 5-7. $225/person. Camp Four Echoes, 22270 S. 4 Echoes Rd. (747-8091 x. 204) CHIMNEY ROCK HIKE This hike begins on an old logging road that gently climbs for 3-4 miles before ascending to a granite bench offering a glimpse of the formation. Sep. 6, 8 am-5 pm. Free. Sandpoint. idahoconservation.org (208265-9565) HARMONY YOGA OPEN HOUSE Sample yoga classes at no cost. See schedule online. Sept. 6, 9 am-6:30 pm. Free. Harmony Yoga, 1717 W. 6th Ave. (747-4430) NEWPORT BIAYAKATHON The 3rd annual cycling and kayak race benefits the local substance abuse awareness program the Pend Oreille Youth Task Force, and features a six-mile bike ride and twomile paddle. Sept. 6, 9 am. $20. Newport City Park, First St. and Calispel Ave. biayakathon.weebly.com

THEATER

BROADWAY BOUND Neil Simon penned this heart-warming follow up to “Brighton Beach Memoirs,” a long-running Broadway comedy. Sept. 5-20; Wed-Sun; show times vary. $12-$28. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. (455-7529) CIRQUE ZUMA ZUMA The “America’s Got Talent” semi-finalists perform what’s described as African-style “Cirque du So-

liel,” fusing culture, acrobatics and artistic performers. Sept. 5 at 8 pm, Sept. 6 at 1 pm. $20/adults, $10/kid 12 and under. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7638) MURDER AT THE HOWARD JOHNSONS Performance of a suspense comedy written and directed by local playwright Ron Ford. Sept. 4-14, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $15-$20. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. thejacklincenter.org (208-457-8950) A WALK IN THE WOODS Set in the midst of the Cold War, Lee Blessing’s powerful and startling play dramatizes a stand-off between U.S. and Soviet arms negotiators as they battle for supremacy. Sept. 6-21, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10. Stage Left Theater, 108 W. Third. spokanestageleft.org (838-9727) LES MISERABLES Performance of the classic musical based on Victor Hugo’s epic novel. Sept. 12-Oct. 12, Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $17-$25. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave. lakecityplayhouse.org (208-667-1323) ON THE SUBWAY The 2014 production is written and directed by Spokane-local Justin M. Schlabach. All proceeds benefit the Green Bluff Grange Scholarship Fund. Sept. 12-28; Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10. Green Bluff Grange, 9809 Green Bluff Rd. oldorchardtheatre.com (793-5176)

VISUAL ARTS

BARTFEST POSTER SHOW Featuring designs from 25+ Spokane artists, illustrators and designers. Proceeds support the Songs for Kids Foundation Spokane.

Sept. 4, 5-9 pm. Free. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague Ave. tinyurl.com/ommgsfb ART ON THE PRAIRIE A showcase of local artists’ work, including handcrafted jewelry, glassware, photography, paintings, prints, art dolls and more. Food by the Bistro Box and Laguna Cafe for purchase on site. Sept. 5 from 4-8 pm, Sept. 6 from 10 am-4 pm. $3 (good for both days); 12 & under Free. Moran Prairie Grange, 6006 S. Palouse Hwy. artontheprairiespokane.com (951-0523) FIRST FRIDAY Monthly local arts showcase, with participating galleries across downtown and beyond hosting artist receptions. Most events from 5-8 pm. See event details and interactive map at inlander.com/firstfriday. CDA ARTISTS STUDIO TOUR The 2014 event features 15 artists at 9 studio locations throughout the greater CdA area. Sept. 6, 10 am-5 pm. $10; children/students free. artsincda.org (208-691-0206) JOSH DEWEESE CERAMICS WORKSHOP The accomplished ceramic artist demonstrates his ceramic throwing, building and glazing techniques. Sept. 6, 10 am-3 pm. $20. Trackside Studio, 115 S. Adams St. (981-9916)

WORDS

3 MINUTE MIC Auntie’s monthly poetry open mic, held every first Friday. Bring up to 3 minutes’ worth of your own poetry, someone else’s, or come enjoy the local live poetry scene. The “Remember the Word” featured reader for September is Inlander contributor Leah Sottile. Sept. 5, 7-8:45 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206)

IDAHO STATE HISTORIAN KEITH C. PETERSEN Petersen presents and signs copies of his new book on the historic road builder John Mullan, whose 625mile highway through the Northwest eventually became a critical link to I-90. Sept. 6, 2 pm. Free. Hastings, 101 E. Best Ave, CdA. (208-664-0464) THE CRISIS IN GAZA: A FIRSTHAND REPORT Gerri Haynes, a local care nurse and her husband Dr. Robert Haynes discuss their experiences providing medical care in Gaza during six trips since 2009. Sept. 6, 7-9 pm. Free. Community Building, 35 W. Main Ave. (232-1950) BOOTSLAM FEAT. MORRIS STEGOSAURUS Sept.’s poetry slam features Seattle’s Morris Stegosaurus, a nationally-respected poet. Poets have 3 min. to present, judged by 5 random members of the audience. Sept. 7, 7-10:30 pm. $5. Boots Bakery & Lounge, 24 W. Main Ave. spokanepoetryslam.org (703-7223) LUNCHTIME BOOKGROUP: SWAMPLANDIA An informal, brown-bag lunch and book discussion on the 2014 Spokane is Reading selection, “Swamplandia” by Karen Russell. Sep. 10, 12-1 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main Ave. (509-444-5300) SEQUENTIAL REACTION: HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN COMIC BOOK An interactive presentation about comic books’ historical context, presented by Andrew Wahl in participation with Humanities Washington. Cheney branch, Sept. 10, at 2 pm; Argonne branch, Sept. 10, 6:30 pm; North Spokane branch, Sept. 11, 7 pm. Free. scld.org n

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 55

GREEN

ZONE GREEN ZONE | BUSINESS

Lawyer Up Another group impacted by legal pot: attorneys BY KATE GIBBONS

he passage of Initiative 502 has led to many by-products: marijuana tourism, cannabis stocks, WeedMaps.com. So it’s not surprising that a few lawyers have gotten into the game too.

Part of the

network

KSFC Talks:

The Budding Business of

Tuesday, Sept. 23 at Noon KSFC 91.9 fm News & Culture SPR’s Steve Jackson hosts a live panel discussion about our new legal industry & public concerns.

Our Panel of legal, government and business experts includes Chris Marr and Alison Holcomb.

KSFC will rebroadcast the forum Thursday, Sep. 25 at 9 a.m and Sunday, Sep. 28 at 1 p.m. Media Partner

Have questions for the panel? Send them in advance to FrontDesk@kpbx.org

56 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

164,0

SPOK AN COUN E T READ Y ERS

BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 and Initiative 502). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington State, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor Control Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

CALL 325-0634 xt. 215 EMAIL sales@Inlander.com

Canna Law Group — a practice of Seattle-based Harris Moure — has represented the cannabis industry since 2010. With an office in downtown Spokane, the group has helped cannabis workers, growers and vendors navigate the ever-evolving state cannabis law and companies which want to do business with them. “There are a lot of things that consumers probably never think about but businesses do,” attorney Robert McVay says. McVay, who refocused to cannabis law from international law in February 2012, is one of a handful of lawyers taking on the new legal frontier. Issues the group regularly handles are licensing, shareholder agreements and regulatory and IRS compliance. Diving into the complexities of the new regulation, McVay says that non-marijuana-related businesses are nervous about working with cannabis-related companies, citing challenges in finding armored cars to transport money and contractors for much-needed construction.

Tune in to the Public Forum

SpokanePublicRadio.org

REAC

“Now everyone thinks, ‘Is this going to get me into trouble?’” McVay says. “Although the legal risks are close to nothing.” According to McVay, the shifting landscape, with the “constant minor annoyances” of any new law, is easier to negotiate than even six months ago. He foresees tax season to be the next major hurdle. “The guidance is out there,” McVay says. “And people are setting aside tax dollars, but there are going to be federal audits. It is inevitable.” As for the future beyond tax season: “The federal criminal issue isn’t going to go away anytime soon,” McVay says. “And every [presidential] administration is different.” In addition to offices in Spokane and Seattle, Canna Law Group also practices in Illinois and Oregon, with plans to expand to Nevada. The group also represents medical marijuana clients. 

Northside Alternative Wellness (509)482-0420 4811 N. Market 99207

Got CBD? We do! Wizards Garden High CBD products (eastern Washington) Mad Hatter Coffee and Tea Company The Royal Humbolyt Kush Alphakronik Seed Vendor (eastern Washington) Northwest Nectar e-cig juice (filled with infused oil)

Northside is the ONLY true medical facility in Spokane Washington that specializes in high CBD products. Come on in today and see how Northside can assist you in finding what you are looking for.

Mon-Sat 10am-7pm • We accept Debit/credit cards

JOE’S 420 RX LLC Agricultural Medical Cannabis Collective

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9301 North Division | Spokane This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of the reach of children.

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509.919.3467 • Spokanegreenleaf@gmail.com 9107 N. Country Homes Blvd. One Block W. of Division Y, North Spokane WARNING: This product has intoxicating affects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For USE only by adults 21 and older. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug.

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 57

Health in the

Your local resource for beauty, fitness, and total well being. TO ADVERTISE IN THIS SPECIAL HEALTH SECTION: (509) 444-7355 or Sales@Inlander.com

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Tick-borne diseases, specifically Lyme disease, are becoming more common. Though treatable with antibiotics, wearing long sleeves TIP OF THE WEEK and pants to help cover your skin when walking through high grass or wooded areas — and applying repellent consisting of 20 percent or more DEET — makes it harder for ticks to bite in the first place. Checking your body for ticks and washing or tumbling your clothes in a dryer on high heat after walking through these types of areas will also help ensure no ticks come home with you. (NIH)

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Holistic Festival

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Saturday October 4, 10-6

Specializing in Ashiatsu Oriental Bar Therapy Deep Tissue :: Hot Rock :: Sports :: Relaxation Online Scheduling :: Located Near Huckleberry’s

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58 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

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Adopt Me!

Spartacus 6597 needs an army of things to keep him occupied. He is energetic and loving but needs training to help with some of his bad manners. SCRAPS offers free dog training for those who would like to take advantage of the program.

355 nder.com 09) 444-7 la PHONE: (5BulletinBoard@In mit Parkway : IL u A S M t Ee s m 01 2 N: 1227 W IN PERSO Spokane, WA 99

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Back to School Special

2bd,1ba basement Apt. in historic West Central. Free on-site laundry, on bus line,furnished kitchen, dining & livingrm.$425 + deposit. Util. Separate, no pets or smoking. 688-3509 or 499-3405 evenings.

Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

COMMITTED TO SUPPORTING OUR LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTERS

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ALL SAINTS CATHOLIC SCHOOL

is seeking a full- time Development Director for the 2014-2015 school year to oversee the school's advertising, promotion/marketing, special events, and social media sites. Duties include overseeing volunteers for fundraising and special events, writing and layout of an annual report, brochures and in-house publication, preparing print ads, donor and enrollment campaigns and press releases. The position Salary is based on experience. A full benefit package is included with this position.

To Apply: Please send cover letter and resume to: Kathy Hicks khicks@dioceseofspokane

444-SELL

Historic Bldg, walk Downtown, Across from park, hrdwd flrs, Mahog woodwork, French drs, Storage locker & Gar parking. Cats welcome! City or Park views. Spacious units! 2 BR & 2 BR/2BA $800-$835 1BR $650-$685, Studio $560 747-1414

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509-747-7630

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ACROSS 1. “Shame on you!” 4. Smucker’s products 8. Veteran 14. 2016 Olympics host 15. “Splendor in the Grass” director Kazan 16. One of about 100 billion in the human brain 17. Suffix with cash 18. Chris of Hollywood 19. Things holding up the works? 20. Smash a noted graffiti artist’s work to pieces? 23. The “E” in Q.E.D. 24. “Maus” cartoonist Spiegelman 25. Prefix with dermis 27. Place where the livestock are constantly fidgeting? 32. Rosa, por ejemplo 33. Speak Persian? 34. Goes public

157 W. Hayden Ave Ste 104 | Hayden, ID 83835

35. “You won’t be getting any more religious dissent from me”? 40. Six-time All Star third baseman Nettles 41. Man, in Roma 42. Reagle of the crossword documentary “Wordplay” 43. Had too much to drink? 48. ____ Mahal 49. “Am ____ your way?” 50. Milky gem 52. Pries on behalf of others? 58. South Carolina’s ____ Beach 59. Faller in the fall 60. ____ mission 61. Neologist 62. Chichen ____ (Mayan ruins) 63. Permit 64. Carsick, say 65. Level 66. ‘60s campus org.

DOWN 1. Chief concern? 2. GMC truck 3. Seoul man 4. Soda ____ 5. Bushels 6. Wisc. neighbor 7. Alcoholic beverage served in a masu 8. Like macho push-ups 9. Inclined 10. Nightfall 11. Takes advance orders for 12. Pudgy 13. Slip-____ (some shoes) 21. “The Good Wife” fig. 22. Forbid 26. Org. that tweeted “Want to do your own #taxes?” 28. Far from self-effacing

NMLS1079636

“BANKSY”

29. Up to now 30. Rock’s ____ Fighters 31. Ghastly 32. ATM user’s annoyance 34. “Star Trek: T.N.G.” role

35. “Understood” 36. Homer’s wife’s given first name 37. Vinaigrette ingredient 38. Sexy 39. Lifesaver, briefly

40. World clock std. 43. Sunday best 44. Producer whose last name is an anagram of a hit U2 song he produced 45. Long-running PBS documentary film series 46. Thread holders 47. Spun, as a story 49. Some vacation spots 51. They test reasoning skills: Abbr 53. Italian peak THIS WEEK’S 54. Thin opening AN SWERS ON 55. Hairy legend I SAW YOUS 56. Throw for a loop 57. Miles off 58. 1974 John Wayne crime drama

SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 INLANDER 59

Desert Jewels Nursery

Hummingbirds love Desert Jewels Nursery! Fri & Sat through October 4th

9am to 5pm

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IT’S FREE

1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to ISawYou@inlander.com by 3 pm Monday.

I Saw You

You Saw Me

Cheers

Jeers

Silver Lake I saw you on the evening of the 4th of July, we were at Silver Lake Wa. setting off fireworks on the dock and l looked over and saw you, you were standing on the dock and you were wearing white, l came over and talked to you and introduced myself, you said your name was Linda. We talked about how awesome the fireworks were and you said you used to live in Hayden and and they were never that cool, then my grandson’s little friend, like another grandkid to me, told you his name was Hunter, and told you this is my grumpy his name is Glenn then ran off. You told me you came out with a group off friends for the 4th, l would really like to talk to you more, l was stupid and only got your first name, l am hoping you or maybe one of your group will see this and contact me, really hope you do

life, it kills me to see you hurting and struggling and going without so you can maintain what others would call dignity. You tried. You tried hard, but because you didn’t get your fairy tale doesn’t mean you failed. If you would stop and turn around you will see everything you will ever need is right there, waiting to catch you when you fall, and still seeing you as the most beautiful thing on the planet, and still seeing you as I saw you that morning by the window. Please turn around and look back at me too. I love you. Bury the harvester of sorrow and make a life with me. Its because of you, and for you, I’m still here.

Over the past 22 years we’ve been through it all, traveled the world together, through thick or thin, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, you were always at my side. There will always be a piece of my heart where it is always 4:20, but as of midnight, I must say goodbye my dear.

Dig? You know what I mean. Fireworks might flash for one, but maybe not the other. And that’s what happened. I just can’t see us getting together after our second date with a list of “issues” we need to work out and talk through. Not a chance girl. Two dates does not make a relationship. And a short text note of thanks, you are great but it isn’t working for me...good luck. That’s enough. It’s respectful, thoughtful, thankful, and off we go. I wish you the best...I really, really do.

Bistango I met you at Bistango last Thursday night. Your pretty smile, pretty deep brown eyes, blue and green top and your rockin cowgirl boots had me stunned. I think you are an amazing lady and I really hope I see you again. Maybe meet at the sapphire sometime. Get well soon!

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My Beautiful One I saw you the first time at a mutual friends house. Almost nine years ago now. After a while we became friends. Best friends. I thought you were great, and soon thoughts of you were in my head and then in my heart. You helped me get through some bad times and I looked for your reassurance and compassion in my darkest hour. But then I saw you. I really saw you. In the morning after breakfast when you stood up to walk in the kitchen. The sun was pouring in the windows, and you stopped just to look at the scenery through the glass. The sunlight on your face and in your hair, and how it outlined your beautiful body, was breathtaking. My heart stopped and the world stood still just for you. In that five seconds I knew I was looking at the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and it was in that five seconds I knew I loved you, and that I always would. I saw beauty, grace, confidence, respect, intelligence, mass sex appeal, ambition, tenderness, innocence, knowledge, stability, and my best friend was now the woman I wanted to be with forever and still is. I saw a person that was as guilty of making mistakes as I was, but had a desire and goal to better herself and become a better mom, friend, lover, and a person that made this world a better place because you were in it. What you think you have now to call happiness, and what you put yourself through to help justify your cause, is hopeless now. As the most important thing in my

Graphic Design Girl I saw you graphic designing from across the room, You: intently focused, cute,

TO CONNECT

Put a non-identifying email address in your message, like “petals327@yahoo.com” — not “j.smith@comcast.net.” interested in rearing children. Me: Black shirt, jeans, drinking black coffee. I smiled and you couldn’t look away. Would love to hear about your work and your desires.

Cheers Good People It is sure good to see that there is still some honest people in this world. My granddaughter lost her purse while shopping at NorthTown Mall. Someone found it and turned it in all intact. To who ever did this. Thank you very much! Believe Why is it so hard for us to believe that there is a Creator? Some of us believe in aliens, some believe in Bigfoot, some believe that we are all a product of ‘space farts’. I’m not saying this couldn’t be, I’m just saying I’ve never read a book on any of these that wasn’t a theory or conspiracy. The bible is history. It coincides with history! I believe in Him. I used to be foolish. I just want people who don’t believe, to try it out. Believe for a week. Study on it for a week. Visit a church. Pray to Jesus, for a week. You don’t have to be perfect, but the more you study, the more you want to be. It’s beautiful, your life changes because you don’t feel alone. I love all of you. The time is now. The greatest trick that Satan ever played was to convince the world he didn’t exist. Don’t be apart of his deception, come to Jesus Saying Goodbye To A Good Friend Mary Jane, it is time we part ways.

Still Good People Out There I just wanted to say a big thank you to whoever you are who turned in my wife’s debit card that they found in the south hill Super One parking lot on 8/30/14 around noon. My wife has had two major surgeries in the past two months, and the last thing we needed was a lost debit card. You made my week whoever you are, and as a lifetime Spokane native, you made me remember why Spokane is still a great place to live with many awesome people like you. Thanks! Best Neighbors August 12th, I got a call that the big leaning tree had fallen in the storm. The huge 100 feet behemoth filled my driveway making access impossible. The tree specialists were overbooked and I had to leave for a business trip in 3 days. I stood looking at this monster tree, overwhelmed and at a loss. The next day when I came home from work my two neighbors Rob and Zack with their families as helpers, had sawed the tree into rounds, split it into logs and hauled it away. The wives and children had stacked the branches in a neat pile and swept up the mess. The tree and my worries and woes were GONE! Thank you sincerely to Rob, Danielle, Cameron, Kendra, Kaelyn, Zack and Cathy, for this and every kindness you share with us. Best Neighbors EVER! from Phillip & Sally Oh, The Places You’ll Go! I know that you’re worried for college, who isn’t? But, I just want you to know that you have so much to look forward to. I can’t wait for you to just live life! Your life. The one that you want. You’ll find yourself in college and I hope then you will see all the things I see in you. We’re all so proud of you! Live it up and see you soon. Xoxo, Mads

Jeers

Why Did You Leave Home? Excited to hear the KPBX lecture on A Hard Day’s Night. Arrived at the theater, folks chatting, nice crowd. Until the lecture began. No one stopped talking. Who are you and why do you not stay home? IT IS A LECTURE! Other, smarter people talk and the audience listens and then they talk about it AT HOME, or the bar, or somewhere that is not THE LECTURE. I don’t care about your finger nail polish color or your new bike or what you are doing Labor Day. I want to hear the LECTURE on FILM. You are a KPBX audience. I expected more of you. Drunk Drivers Beware! Hey there drunk drivers, yes a lot of us have done it and got away with it, but it is still wrong and you know it! The cards are stacked against you, because the cops are out there looking for you! They are even telling you on the freeway reader boards and I know there are people out there on their cell phones looking for you! So, wake up and realize you could be next to get caught! And don’t even get me started with the whole texting thing! Did You Learn Your Lesson? “You were changing lanes like crazy and cutting people off till you got behind me and stayed on my ass for a couple blocks till I had to slam on the brakes and you went under my bumper, my hitch went through your radiator, my rear bumper was sitting on top of your hood, you couldn’t even

WINNER!!

You’re So Vain To the righteous girl a few Phillip B. is this week’s winner of the months ago who “Say it Sweet” promotion! didn’t believe it was ok to break up by text Send in your CHEERS so you too can after 2 dates... be entered to win 1 dozen ummmmm....yes it is. Two “Cheers” cupcakes at dates does not make matrimony... The first few dates Celebrations Sweet are used to gauge chemistry, to Boutique. see whether we are intellectually Valid for 30 days. on the same astral plane, and gives Call to Redeem 509-327-3471 us a brief moment to compare our or 509-315-5973 anti-psychotic medication dosages.

“I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

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Jeers

even open your doors to get out and your fancy, expensive looking little BMW was a total loss. My vehicle had no damage whatsoever but I don’t feel sorry about yours. You were late for work and also made me be late, thanks asshole!! If I’m at least doing the speed limit riding my ass ain’t gonna make me go any faster, next time get up 20 minutes earlier so you don’t have to cause an accident while rushing to work in your new car. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

anywhere. Kids, job, marriage. Do I even want these things? I see people work themselves to death and for what? A car they don’t want after 5 years, a house that needs constant work, kids who leave only to call when they want something. Why does nothing make me happy? I find it’s just stuff. The same mind numbing shows. The same mind numbing people.

and not once did the lights come on. This must indicate that out-ofstate drivers are exempt from our state laws, as are state troopers.

Spokane Drivers I have never seen so many pathetic drivers as I did today. First there was the guy in the late model Ford Super Crew pick-up who flies by all the cars in the construction zone and then stops traffic trying to cut in. The lady driving 45 mph in the left lane and refusing to move over. The high school girl in the Nissan who passed me, then slowed down till I passed her, then passed me and slowed down till I passed her, etc. etc. It’s just SO hard to text, snapchat, and take fish-lip selfies when driving that she couldn’t concentrate on going one speed. We need a Drivers Ed training center for these pathetic drivers. Where Am I Going With My Life? I set goals and yet when I met them I still feel I have not gotten

Hello Again Suicide Sucks I saw you had a response to my Email, though a bit big headed in nature, none the less an apology for pointing out that you perhaps did not attempt to get your thoughts out regarding suicide in the best I Hate Missing You! I can’t freakin way, things happen. Yes I agree stand it! It’s driving me crazy! depression is not always terminal, I know that you and I are toxic but here is the problem with your together but I still love you. I don’t theory. For some it IS terminal, so know what to do. Hell, I don’t even in this aspect it IS also very much know if you really ever truly loved like Cancer!! Not every cancer me back. Yes, you would say you patient dies yes that is true, but loved me, but now I’m not so sure. not every cancer patient survives Anyways, I’m going to try and get the battle.Yes some win the fight you out of my head. I love you. with depression, but for others there is no fix button or pill or Who Cares? Jeers to the out- therapy. For some the answer is to of-state drivers who occupy be done and go to a place of peace, our interstate and highway and that’s ok too. It gives false passing lanes and cause traffic hope to say it can be treated, the congestion. Idaho drivers are the reality is that for many treatments worst offenders, but Oregon and do not work. We should not put Montana drivers also think the false hope out there, that in itself is passing lane is their own special dangerous because it’s even more byway. Who cares? Obviously the devastating to the depressed if Washington State Patrol doesn’t. that false hope fades. I live with Friday morning, an Arizona driver severe bouts of depression myself, occupied the passing lane without I have come close several times passing anyone from Evergreen to letting my disease win. But so to downtown, followed by a state far I’am still here, if my battle one trooper, all the way from Argonne. day is lost it will not be about any No one was choices I made but instead about in front of a disease that won! With Som the them the disease won, it happens and it’s ok. entire way Lets stop pointing fingers, calling names/yes out of anger I did that myself and with all my heart apologize. Let’s get the Inlander to write a front page spread on what depression and suicide really are, instead of ignoring phone calls and Emails asking them ’S to do so. Let’s honor Som’s K E E W IS H T life and his memory, he was ANSWERS! a wonderful man and his memory is one that deserves praise not one that should be kept in the darkness of a disease that won. Let’s do that, these things would be wonderful....Thank you

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SEPTEMBER 4, 2013 INLANDER 61

LAST WORD PHIL SIMMONS PRESENTS RANTLAND

TV Trade Deadline Dealbook A world in which we trade TV stars like baseball players, complete with footnotes

BY STAN GERBE

ell, the annual trade deadline for the TV business is upon us again later this week, and boy howdy, are there some deals to be done. I got a couple fresh Hot Pockets 2 and my spreadsheets are open on my laptop, so I’m ready to rock and roll.

NBC News’ Brian Williams for Jimmy Kimmel sidekick Guillermo. Word on the street is that Jimmy Kimmel is sick of Guillermo stealing his laughs, so the powers that be have been furiously shopping the little guy. And if you look at Guillermo’s LPS rating (Laugh Per Shot), well, the sabermetrics do not lie, my friends. 3 Guillermo is set for a breakout season, and let’s face it, the news can be hilarious — it’s a perfect spot for his talents. Don’t worry about Brian Williams — he’ll be fine. Still, to get it done, NBC might need to toss in, say, the rights to James (The Blacklist) Spader’s creepy smirk. 4 Stan Sez: This deal needs to get done. Like. Right. Now. The girl on those cheesy AT&T ads for Danielle, the tattooed dispatcher on the History Channel’s American Pickers. This is a fact: Hipsters just ain’t buying the AT&T — the chick’s got no ink. Although a bit unorthodox, an ad pitchwoman swapped for a series star can work — remember when The Golden Girls picked up that “Where’s the Beef” lady back in ’86? Genius deal. Anyhow, Danielle’s been grousing about a contract extension, and AT&T has deep pockets. Stan Sez: Those tats 5 are about to make Danielle a very rich woman. Dream deal-of-the-century. According to reliable sources 6 : America’s Got Talent’s Howard Stern to CBS This Morning for Charlie Rose 7 . Stan Sez: OK, just wow. This is a win-win — both rosters get better with this trade. Howard Stern sparring uncomfortably with Gayle King while you get ready for work? Check. Charlie Rose heckling people who spin plates on their foreheads? Can’t freakin’ wait. Big Bang Theory’s uber-nerd Jim Parsons is going to jeopardize the future of the franchise with that fat new contract

62 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 4, 2014

of his. Any good options out there to replace him? Stan Sez: Kelsey Grammer will work for a hot lunch and already has a nerd character; might have to order that Green Lantern T-shirt in XXL, though. Tom Selleck’s hair or Adam Levine’s tats? What brings more trading power? Stan Sez: That hair is legendary; Levine just hasn’t earned it yet. ABC’s new shows Selfie and Black-ish: If you could package those up together, what are they worth on the open TV trade market? Stan Sez: Although they haven’t aired yet, so are not available for cancellation, I would take either the Extreme Couponing franchise from TLC or the rights to NCIS: Akron from CBS. Grimm is barely hanging on for life on Friday nights; it needs a new monster or maybe a Portlandia-type character as a last-minute Hail Mary. Any ideas? Stan Sez: Easy. Zach Galifianakis can play both — he’s hairy, cute and menacing in a friendly stalker sort of way. Try this: He’s a quirky mortician who, at night, turns into a menacing liger? Mark (Shark Tank) Cuban or Gordon (Hell’s Kitchen) Ramsay? Stan Sez: Cuban! 8 Duh! That Gordon Ramsay is a wanker. Total effing wanker. If you could bring one classic player back onto to one modern TV roster, who would it be? Stan Sez: Different eras, different standards — just like you can’t compare Wilt Chamberlain to LeBron James. But I’ll play: How about Wally from Leave it to Beaver joining the cast of Mad Men? (Turns out Ward and June were big-time alcoholics; Wally’s a total mess.) Mork from Ork (the late, great Robin Williams, R.I.P.) definitely would make any number of shows better — maybe as Andy Samberg’s flamboyant new partner on Brooklyn NineNine? But the total no-brainer has to be a spot in Game of Thrones, as, like, one of those wild queen ladies with the dragons and stuff. Are you with me? Ginger from Gilligan’s Island. So obvious! 9 

1. God created the footnote for when parentheses aren’t big enough to hold all your stream-of-consciousness asides and thumb-twiddling. 2. Thanks, Mom! And if you wouldn’t mind, my undies need to get into the dryer — I’m kind of on deadline down here. 3. Shout out to our intern Tommy Zee, who has been tracking Guillermo’s antics via our proprietary LPS sabermetrics software since 2011. I haven’t forgotten about that Chipotle I owe you, bro! 4. There’s some debate in Spader circles as to the first sighting of that signature smirk. Bill Barnstormer, in his excellent series “The Spader Files” (Volumes 1-4, with two more in the works), makes the case for Sex, Lies and Videotape. But a careful viewing of Pretty In Pink (I happen to have a copy on VHS) adds a sliver of doubt to this raging debate. 5. For the record, the only reason I have that My Little Pony tattoo on my ankle is because I came in last in the Rantland Fantasy Football league last season. Lesson learned: Never use your first-round pick on a guy indicted for murder. 6. I think I saw it in a news quiz on buzzgurgitation.com. 7. Yes, Mom, I know George Stephanopoulos is on Good Morning America. Sure, fine, you’re right — he’s better than Charlie Rose. And I know he worked for Bill Clinton; you tell me that, like, every morning! Gosh! 8. Mark Cuban’s just an awesome dude. He’s buddies with Phil Simmons and came out to one of our Rantland team-building exercises. Just a killer dude. I am definitely looking him up next time I’m in Big D. 9. I happen to have all the Gilligan’s Island episodes on VHS. Mom! Another Hot Pocket! I’m on deadline, for crying out loud!

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