DECEMBER 7-13, 2017 | A GIFTED NEWSPAPER: IT’S FREE!
Gift Guide gifts for russian hackers, plus the nice people on YOUR LIST! PAGE 20
The WTB Crew in Blue spreading holiday cheer —
Join Us Holiday Scavenger Hunt
November 25th - December 18th Find Rudolf at 25 downtown Spokane locations for a chance to win a downtown Spokane prize package! Print your passport online or find one inside Auntie’s Bookstore or River Park Square. For more information on how to participate and a complete list of rules, please visit: downtownspokane.org.
Mobius Day
Friday, December 8th | 5-8pm Join us at Mobius for an after-hours event! The WTB Crew in Blue is giving the first 500 people at both the Mobius Science Center and Mobius Children’s Museum FREE ADMISSION!
Family Skate Day
Monday, December 18th | 5-8pm Join us at the new skate ribbon in Riverfront Park. The WTB Crew in Blue is giving the first 500 people free admission. Skate rentals are not included.
WTB Cash Mob
Wednesday, December 20th The WTB Crew in Blue is giving away free gas to 20 lucky people at two different gas stations in downtown Spokane. Stay tuned to our Facebook page for more details.
Christmas Tree Giveaway Saturday, December 9th | 10am
Washington Trust Bank 2nd & Wall Branch | 706 W 2nd Ave. The WTB Crew in Blue is giving the first 50 families on site a free, fresh-cut Christmas tree, courtesy of WTB. Trees will be provided by Hutton Settlement. Learn more about Hutton Settlement and their Christmas tree farm at www.huttonsettlement.org.
Connect with us to learn more about the festivities!
INSIDE VOL. 25, NO. 8 | COVER ILLUSTRATION: CRAIG WINZER
COMMENT 5 13 NEWS COVER STORY 20
MUSIC 56 EVENTS 60 GREEN ZONE 64
CULTURE 43 FOOD 48 FILM 52
EDITOR’S NOTE
O
n more occasions than I’m proud to admit, I’ve done the whole of my Christmas shopping at a liquor store, plucking bottles from the shelves, one by one, as I checked names off my list. Dad (whiskey), Brother (vodka), Sister (chardonnay), Grandma (Frangelico)... It’d take all of 15 minutes. On the one hand, I was confident my gifts wouldn’t go to waste. (That much is assured in my family.) On the other, I knew my shopping selections also sent a message, of me being lazy, that wouldn’t go unnoticed. Thankfully, we’re back this year with the Inlander’s GIFT GUIDE, with inspired ideas for the nice (and some of the naughty) people on your list, beginning on page 20. Also this week: staff reporter Daniel Walters looks at plans to make the business of lawmaking in Olympia more transparent (page 18), while staff reporter Samantha Wohlfeil examines how changes in the global recycling market are being felt in the Northwest (page 13). — JACOB H. FRIES, Editor
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Your new holiday tradition. IS EDUCATION HISTORY? PAGE 8
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THE INLANDER is a locally owned, independent newspaper founded on Oct. 20, 1993. It’s printed on newsprint that is at least 50 percent recycled; please recycle THE INLANDER after you’re done with it. One copy free per person per week; extra copies are $1 each (call x226). For ADVERTISING information, email advertising@inlander.com. To have a SUBSCRIPTION mailed to you, call x213 ($50 per year). To find one of our more than 1,000 NEWSRACKS where you can pick up a paper free every Thursday, call x226 or email justinh@inlander.com. THE INLANDER is a member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. All contents of this newspaper are protected by United States copyright law. © 2017, Inland Publications, Inc.
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WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR?
PUBLISHER
J. Jeremy McGregor (x224) GENERAL MANAGER
EDITORIAL Jacob H. Fries (x261) EDITOR
JUSTICE AMSBRY You know I’m not really sure… Last year I spent Christmas with my girlfriend’s family, so this year I really want to spend Christmas with my family.
Dan Nailen (x239) DIGITAL & PROJECTS EDITOR
FILM & MUSIC EDITOR
Derek Harrison (x248) ART DIRECTOR
Wilson Criscione (x282), Mitch Ryals (x237), Daniel Walters (x263), Samantha Wohlfeil (x234) STAFF WRITERS
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STEVEN DILLY A few days off from work — food cooked by someone else. Do you get the holiday off? No unfortunately. Christmas even? No, we work Christmas, we are open Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas day.
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COMMENT | BUSINESS
Startup Secrets The Inland Northwest needs more homegrown businesses; maybe 2018 is your year to start one up?
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6 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
BY TOM SIMPSON
A
powerful way to build our local economy is one business at a time. We have lots of homegrown talent here in the Inland Northwest, and it often just needs to get nudged in the right direction. Still, a great idea for a new business is only step one in the process. With that in mind, I offer a few guidelines based on my experience, which includes not only a handful of success stories, but also a certain number of flame-outs. One disclaimer: If your goal is to create the next Amazon or Google, don’t follow my advice. Just like winning the lottery or being struck by lightning, an inordinate amount of pure luck, incredible timing and/or extreme risk-taking are required. My advice ignores the presence of these elements.
T
o start, let’s assume you aspire to generate $25 million in revenues in seven to 10 years. While this may sound tame by venture capital standards, if you delivered this amount you’d be a stand-out success by comparison to most newly formed businesses — just the kind of business we need. The first question is why are you doing this? Ideally, it’s because you have an idea you are incredibly passionate about and have unique insight into. If it’s because you’re seeking to get rich quick, stop right there. The founders of Microsoft, Starbucks and Nike, for example, had relentless belief in what they were pursuing, yet never dreamed they would become over-the-top wealthy. Research your idea using independent sources to verify why it’s uniquely differentiated and why a growing market for it may exist. Don’t ask for feedback from family or friends because they may not be honest about it. I tend to like ideas that have one or more of the following characteristics: (i) can generate revenues while the founders are sleeping; (ii) can be sold through multiple channels of distribution; (iii) can tap worldwide markets; (iv) can initially work through niche markets that can be expanded into adjacent segments; (v) can add value to the customer rather than only reducing costs; and (vi) can trigger recurring sales. Next on the checklist is your business model. How will you make money? Ideally, you’ve identified a business that requires low capital expenditures and generates high gross margins. Many successful companies have business models that are not obvious to the consumer. I like those. Classic examples are HP with cheap printers/ expensive ink, Costco, which makes most of its income from membership fees, and Value Village by procuring used inventory from charities. Starting a company is not easy, so it takes teamwork to succeed. Tenacity is required to endure the inevitable ups and downs. Ideally, you have a co-founder who is equally passionate
either half-assed.”
— and whose skill set complements yours. Secure office space, establish consistent hours and establish a positive, creative culture that encourages risk taking, employee empowerment and fun. Perhaps one that reflects “work hard, play hard, don’t mix the two, and don’t do
N
ow for the boring part. Prepare projections for three years, on a monthly basis, including an income statement, balance sheet and statement of cash flows. This will force you to think very specifically about your plans, business model and cash requirements. Many entrepreneurs resist this because they claim they cannot predict the future, but generally it is because they don’t want to be held accountable or don’t understand accounting. Having detailed financial plans are essential to objectively monitoring progress and to making educated pivots. I further advocate that financial plans be prepared with the goals of at least meeting, and preferably exceeding, forecasts and becoming profitable as soon as possible. These are often very challenging aspirations, as founders tend to have overly robust expectations and prefer focusing on sales rather than profits. Yet not allowing for excuses in missing forecasts and striving for near-term profitability ensures peak performance. Plan for growth, but spend according to cash flow. You’ll likely have limited capital and need to balance aggressive expectations with the reality of your bank account. As you evaluate funding, pursue the cheapest forms first — bank lines of credit, customer advances, grants, etc. If you raise capital from angel or venture investors, strive to do so with the intent you are only going to raise equity once. A second round of equity capital should be raised to fuel even faster, profitable growth rather than to fund ongoing losses. Don’t spend much time developing an exit strategy. Instead, endeavor to become a leader in your market, grow your revenues at a rate faster than the growth of your market and increase your profits annually. If you achieve these, your company will always be an attractive target. And as always, keep a close eye on your competition. As they say: “Only the paranoid survive.” n Tom Simpson is an entrepreneur, angel investor and advisor to startups and other businesses in the Spokane region. You can reach him at tsimpson@inlander.com.
DO SOMETHING!
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Coffee Tasting Fundraiser
Enjoy coffee from around the world in this unique tasting event, with all proceeds supporting Southeast Daycare Center and its work with children and families of Spokane. $15 donation. Sat, Dec. 9 from 8:45-11 am. Indaba Coffee Roasters, 1425 W. Broadway. (535-4794)
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ICAN NOBEL PEACE PRIZE CELEBRATION
The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICAN) won the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize for its efforts in passing the U.N. Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. Celebrate with local organizations associated with ICAN at a community event and program. Free. Sun, Dec. 10 at 1:30 pm. Community Building, 25 W. Main. pjals.org
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View the themed, decorated trees and accompanying gifts on display at River Park Square (second floor) and the Historic Davenport Hotel (mezzanine) through Sat, Dec. 9, during regular hours (through Dec. 10 at RPS). Proceeds from the raffle of the 18 trees benefit the Spokane Symphony via the Spokane Symphony Associates. Raffle tickets are sold for $1 each. facebook.com/ ChristmasTreeElegance n
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COMMENT | POLITICS
Is Education History?
CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION
The “scam” tax bill is more than a corporate giveaway — it’s a declaration of war against learning BY ZACH HAGADONE
S
tanding in line at the grocery store the other day, I had one of those conversations that seem like they should be taking place in a dramedy. As I waited for my turn at the checkstand, a burly guy behind me struck up a conversation about my coat, which is apparently the color of a UPS driver’s. “Hey, UPS! Right on,” he said with approval. He was slightly embarrassed when I turned and told him I didn’t work for UPS so, in a gesture of rescue, I joked that I probably should go to work for UPS since its employees are paid far more than teaching assistants.
“Well, if you’re a TA, then you’re probably working on a high degree, so you’ll be making good money in no time… unless, you know, you’re studying history or something.” He laughed and shook his head as if a person might as well spend a few years translating Beowulf into Klingon. We laughed together for a second or two until I told him that’s precisely what I’m studying. Then he cleared his throat. “Shit, I should stop using that joke,” he said. I told this story before one of my history seminars at Washington State University, but it didn’t get too many laughs. Most, if not all, of us are in grad school on tuition waivers — meaning, we work up to 20 or so hours per
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week attending an undergraduate history course, grading papers and tests, meeting with students during office hours and leading class from time to time. In exchange for this work we make about $1,500 per month, but the real benefit is not having to pay for school. As an out-of-state student, my aid package (including stipend and waiver) amounts to about $40,000 a year. Granted, I don’t see the vast majority of that money, yet without it there would be no chance of me going to school. I haven’t had time to read the so-called “scam” tax bill currently laying over the body politic like a poisonous fog, but I’m apparently not alone. Based on what I’ve seen, almost no one has read the thing, including the Boss Baby in the White House, but the broad strokes are clear: The biggest tax code revamp since the Reagan administration is also the biggest windfall for corLETTERS porate America ever. Send comments to From the Washington Post editor@inlander.com. to Forbes, Bloomberg and the Wall Street Journal, analysts are in agreement that slashing the highest tier corporate tax rate from 35 percent to 20 percent is the heart and soul of the legislation. I’m no economist, but I can scarcely imagine that untaxed tuition waivers for TA’s represent a hitherto unexploited reservoir of revenue vital to the maintenance of the republic. As such, the mere consideration of taxing tuition waivers as income (which, thankfully, is only being considered in the House version of the bill) necessarily rests on a desire to make it harder to go to grad school. What’s more, private college endowments are also on the block and certain provisions would make it harder for students to pay back loans. This sacrifice of education for corporate profits fits not with an economic vision, but a wider social belief that learning is a quaint waste of time (at best) and politically suspect (at worst). Anti-intellectualism runs deep in the American character, but in this president, this Congress and this Republican Party, it has found the ultimate expression of Know-Nothing wreckerism. Responding to the House bill, American Council on Education President Ted Mitchell wrote in a statement, “This is simply wrongheaded.” True enough, but if history tells us anything, it’s that being “wrongheaded” never stood in the way of anyone committed to book burning. In this case, however, the book burning is being attempted before the books are even written. Not that anyone should study history, of course. That would be silly. n Zach Hagadone is a former co-publisher/owner of the Sandpoint Reader, former editor of Boise Weekly and current grad student at Washington State University.
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Northern Quest is committed to supporting responsible gaming. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, please call the Washington State Problem Gambling Helpline at 800.547.6133 or Camas Path at 509.789.7630.
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 9
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COMMENT | FROM READERS
COURT’S DELAYED JUSTICE e experienced the Batson standard (“Of His Peers,” 11/30/17) nearly
W
20 years ago during the second of two criminal trials of the driver who crashed, killing our daughter, two other young people, and seriously injuring another young man. The defendant was mixed race and the public defender sought to dismiss a juror (the only black person summoned in the roll call), not because of race but due to the fact the jurist had served as an officer in the Air Force. The defense believed that, as an officer, the jurist would lean toward a punitive attitude and therefore sought to dismiss through peremptory exclusion. LETTERS The trial judge ruled against the Send comments to defense’s prerogative to dismiss, editor@inlander.com. stating the defendant had a right to a jury of his peers and the defense wasn’t allowed to dismiss the black jurist. Subsequently, the tragedy of our daughter’s death and the needless loss of life of the other victims and their families became a protracted, agonizing experience in the courts. We were informed — even before the start of the second trial (the first ended in a hung jury) — that the defense would file an appeal if a guilty verdict resulted. The defendant was found guilty of three counts of vehicle homicide and one count of vehicle assault; the appeal went all the way to the state Supreme Court. Months later the court ruled that the trial judge did make a mistake by not allowing the defense their peremptory exclusion and remanded the case back for retrial. These processes took almost three years and kept the terrible specter of loss raw. Finally, the defense and prosecution agreed given the sentencing guidelines the defendant had already served the amount of time required so no third trial was necessary. It is vitally important that judges exercise all their judicial options to assure a fair and impartial trial process. It is equally as important for all parties to exercise humane discernment to expedite justice equitably and expediently, for the defendant as well as for those who have been egregiously harmed. MARILYN DARILEK Spokane, Wash.
Readers respond to “Senate Passes Sweeping Republican Tax Overhaul Bill” (12/2/17), our New York Times story about the controversial tax measure passed in the dark of night over the weekend:
DAVID BACKUS: Thank GOD. I will save $1,800 next year. That and the government will no longer tell me what to buy and what I can’t buy. OMAR AKKARI: I expect income inequality to soar much like it did the last time we mucked around with taxes. … For the sake of America I really hope this works, though. But I’m not counting on it. NANCY BEVAN: I’m middle class, retired and expect to pay more taxes. Why? I’m not one of the Repugnant Republican millionaire donors. They are only transferring money to their bosses! We have been screwed. n
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 11
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Downtown Spokane and River Park Square. Hundreds of possibilities for the perfect gift, the perfect meal, the perfect event, or the perfect date. Meet friends for handcrafted cocktails and other adventures. Explore the wonders of Riverfront Park, including the new ice ribbon (open Dec. 8th). Discover events, sales, and inspiration at: riverparksquare.com and downtownspokane.org.
12 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
Employees at facilities like Spokane’s SMaRT Center hand-pick garbage from the reycling material.
YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
ENVIRONMENT
CUTTING THE CRAP China is cracking down on contaminated recyclables, which could mean big changes for the Pacific Northwest BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL
S
ix days a week, truckloads of plastic bottles, cardboard, glass and newspaper run along an intricate set of conveyor belts and bins to be sorted at Waste Management’s Spokane Materials and Recycling Technology (SMaRT) Center. Rubber wheels with teeth grab bottles and containers while pushing paper and flat cardboard up onto another belt. One magnet sucks up tin, another spins to repel aluminum cans into another bin. And at the end of a belt moving at seemingly impossible speed, an optical robot
snaps photos, decides in a fraction of a second what is what, and blasts puffs of air to separate different types of plastic onto the right path. But walk along the system, staffed by workers in protective gloves, coveralls and goggles, and you’ll find boxes and boxes filled with garbage they work constantly to pull out of the system: garden hoses, window blinds, plastic grocery bags, a pillow, garland. “The Pacific Northwest is very conscious about recycling, but that leads to its own pitfalls,” says Steven
Gimpel, recycling Education and Outreach Coordinator for Waste Management’s Pacific Northwest area. “People think because they want something to be recyclable, it is.” While materials recovery facilities like the SMaRT Center do their best to keep those contaminants out of the products they separate and sell to mills and manufacturers to be recycled into new materials, a small percentage of contamination makes it through. That’s become a big problem for China, which takes ...continued on next page
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 13
, r e e B c i Ep d o o F t a e r G 50 TAPS
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NEWS | ENVIRONMENT “CUTTING THE CRAP,” CONTINUED... almost two-thirds of the world’s recycling. In an effort to improve environmental conditions there, the country has announced that it is cracking down on contamination: As of November, the country won’t take recyclables with more than 1.5 percent contamination, and by March 2018, that could drop to 0.5 percent. Reaching the new requirements likely won’t be possible in such a short time. Up to this point, the industry standard had been about 3 percent to 5 percent, according to the Washington Refuse and Recycling Association (WRRA). “We’re dealing with a very emergent and unclear situation,” says Brad Lovaas, WRRA executive director. “We’re closer to 1.5 [percent] than we’ve ever been. We’ve slowed down the conveyor belts, fine-tuned all the equipment, and added a lot of people to pull out the material.” But while the industry knew that some stricter regulations were likely coming, they also thought they’d get more time to comment before they took effect, Lovaas says. As West Coast facilities in particular try to meet the standards and find alternative markets should that be necessary, Lovaas says they’re also being open with customers: People should keep recycling just like they do now, but know that some material could end up in landfills if there isn’t a market for it. “We like to hope for the best, but we’re planning for the worst,” Lovaas says. “I’m hoping the worst doesn’t come to pass.”
is put in the same bin and later separated at a materials recovery facility, contamination is more of a factor, and can influence who is willing to take it and how much they’ll pay. More than half of Washington’s waste is diverted for recycling, but while about 90 percent of source-separated recycling is turned into another product or beneficial use, that drops to about 75 to 80 percent for single-stream, according to an August 2016 study by Ecology. “The economics have to pencil out in some form or fashion. It’s day by day, because right
“China is looking more than anything for the U.S. to clean up some of the residuals that are in these materials.”
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Since China first announced its plans to the World Trade Organization in July, the impacts have been rapid in parts of Washington, but vary widely as each local government can dictate what is recycled and where it goes. For many counties in the state that only collect very specific items that are sorted before drop-off, contamination isn’t a large problem, explains Alli Kingfisher, statewide recycling coordinator for the Department of Ecology. “The account from all of those counties is they are finding places for it to go,” she says. But for “commingled” or “single-stream” collection sites, where everything that is accepted
now markets are really kind of in flux,” Kingfisher says. “When I’ve talked to collectors and processors, people are like, ‘Last month the sky was falling, today we’re OK, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring.’” By August, Walla Walla’s commingled recycling was breaking even, and after it started to cost money with the new policy changes, the city decided to stop collecting the less desireable plastics, says Meagan Gilmore, an environmental planner with Ecology. Every month, Whitman County Solid Waste & Recycling Director David Nails checks recycling markets to determine where to send Whitman’s material, which is also single-stream. Not unlike Walla Walla, Whitman was at least breaking even this summer, Nails says, but things have since turned. “The single-stream actually at this point in time costs us to get rid of,” Nails says. “The China thing has definitely put a damper on the markets.” For the most part, Whitman is currently selling to a Republic Services facility in Seattle. While they’re getting about $10 per ton for the single-stream material, Nails says processing it at the county’s transfer facility and shipping it by train from Spokane to Seattle ends up costing about $55 a ton. For those facilities near Puget Sound ports, it makes the most financial sense to send recyclables
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to China on ships “backhauling” the material after dropping off goods, says Lovaas, the WRRA director. But the vast majority of the materials recycled at the SMaRT Center, which opened in Spokane in 2012, are recycled at mills domestically, Waste Management’s Gimpel explains. Much of the paper fiber gets recycled into newsprint at Inland Empire Paper Company, and other facilities use it to make things like the liners that separate layers of apples for shipping, GimLETTERS pel says. Tin and aluminum Send comments to largely goes to the Midwest, editor@inlander.com. and plastic may be exported to Canada but can go all over the place, he says. It remains to be seen if those domestic connections might result in more recycling coming to the Spokane facility. Spokespeople for Waste Management said that for now, they did not know of any plans to divert material from the company’s other facilities to Spokane for that reason. The facility already takes recycling from parts of Canada, the Idaho panhandle, Western Montana, and Eastern Washington, and with plenty of capacity, will take anyone who wants to send their recycling there, says Tami Yager of Waste Management.
CHANGING FOR THE BETTER
At a minimum, whether the regulatory changes wind up being temporary or long term, WRRA’s Lovaas says he’s glad that the situation has given people pause to reconsider how the recycling system is working. He and others involved in waste management and recycling all emphasized that people can help the system in general by making sure they only recycle clean and dry items that are accepted in their area, and remember “when in doubt, throw it out.” “China is looking more than anything for the U.S. to clean up some of the residuals that are in these materials,” says Nails, Whitman’s recycling director. “I believe that should probably be our focus in the U.S. to get that sort of message, to clean up our single-stream recycling.” For Spokane’s SMaRT Center, Gimpel emphasizes that plastic grocery bags and things that can wrap around spinning sorting equipment can be especially detrimental and should be thrown away or taken to grocery stores for recycling there. And one silver lining in all this is that it’s increased interest in developing a plastics recovery facility in the Pacific Northwest, Ecology’s Kingfisher says, with one Oregon company already announcing plans to open another facility in the region in the next few years. “That’s a huge development,” Kingfisher says. “It might keep us from shipping overseas where we don’t know the environmental regulations or realities for the people working there.” n samanthaw@inlander.com
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 15
NEWS | DIGEST
ON INLANDER.COM
FEATURING NATIONAL NEWS FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES
BURGERS & FRIES, OH MY!
State Sen. Andy Billig (D-Spokane) wants to limit the reach of “dark money” in politics.
YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
SHINING LIGHT IN DARK PLACES For all the extensive, complicated disclosure requirements put on campaigns in Washington state, there’s a gaping hole allowing major donors to hide from the public: DARK MONEY. Political action committees like FUSE Votes and Stand For Children have been able to keep huge donors of political spending anonymous by first channeling their money through nonprofits. But Washington state Sen. Andy Billig (D-Spokane) wants to change that: Under proposed legislation he pre-filed this week, nonprofits and other similar organizations that spend more than $10,000 on an election would have to disclose their top 10 donors who gave them $10,000 or more, along with every donor who gives $100,000 or more. And now that Democrats control the Senate, and Billig is the deputy majority leader, he should have a much easier road in getting his campaign finance legislation off the ground than he has in the past. (DANIEL WALTERS)
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CANNABIS AND DEPRESSION Though it’s commonly used by Spokane-area patients battling opioid addiction, MARIJUANA may not actually help with symptoms of depression and anxiety during treatment, new research from Washington State University suggests. “It appears as if it’s not working the way [patients] think,” says Marian Wilson (pictured), assistant professor with WSU’s College of Nursing. The research offers insight into how and why people battling opioid addiction in the region use cannabis, and whether or not it works. Wilson surveyed 150 patients at two different clinics in the Spokane area that provide medication-assisted treatment, which uses drugs like methadone and Suboxone to treat opioid addiction. About two-thirds of the patients in the survey had used marijuana in the past month, and those who did had a stronger relationship between pain and mood. (WILSON CRISCIONE)
BITCHIN’ BITES ON A BUDGET For some reason, bananas are known mostly for their role in muffins, not cupcakes. But even without frosting, the buttery, sugary treats featured in this edition of Bitchin’ Bites on a Budget blog more than earn the title: MINI BANANA CUPCAKES WITH CANDIED BACON. That’s right, who needs frosting anyhow when you have bacon? In addition to walking you through the magic salty-sweet flavor combination, check out where to find bananas that are already ripe for your recipe, and cheap enough it’ll have you feeling like Macklemore, singing “it was 99 cents!” (SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL)
NEWS | BRIEFS
The Price of Popularity South Perry contemplates parking options; plus, helping homeless teens THE PERRY PARKING PLIGHT they could get clothes or food, or maybe someThe transformation of South Perry into a thriving businesses district has been one of the most celebrated successes of the city’s Centers and Corridors plan, filled with beloved businesses like the Shop, Casper Fry and South Perry Pizza. But popularity can create headaches as well. City Councilman Breean Beggs says frustration has been building about PARKING in the popular neighborhood. “I get emails or phone calls from people whose driveways are being blocked,” Beggs says. But he also says there’s a lot of internal disagreement about how the city should respond to the challenge. “One house wants more parking lot spaces,” Beggs says, as an example. “Their next-door neighbor doesn’t want that.” The city parks department, according to a press release last week, has been exploring several options to increase parking in the area, including by adding diagonal parking along 11th Avenue or expanding the existing Grant Park parking lot, behind the Lantern restaurant. But some neighbors, Beggs says, don’t want more parking at all, preferring that the neighborhood focus on walkability. Beyond just more parking lot spaces, Beggs floats other solutions he’s heard. Clear lines could be painted near some neighborhood driveway entrances to clarify where visitors aren’t allowed to park. Signs could direct some visitors to park on the lot in the northwest corner of Grant Park, and a brightly lit trail would point the way to the Perry Street businesses. “To me, that’s part of the solution, for sure,” Beggs says. (DANIEL WALTERS)
SEASON TO GIVE
Spokane Public Schools’ Homeless Education and Resource Team (HEART) program is asking for the public’s help in getting gift cards for each of the nearly 200 HOMELESS HIGH SCHOOLERS in the district who don’t have parental support. Many of them live with other relatives or friends, and may have to move from place to place, explains Sarah Miller, a liaison with the HEART program. HEART helps all of the roughly 850 K-12 students who are homeless to make sure they can access education and resources, but with the gift card drive, the program focuses in particular on aiding high schoolers, who are less likely to get help through other seasonal programs. “We really try to focus on those youth who can’t access things like Toys for Tots, or who may not be connected to an organization who does the Tree of Sharing,” Miller says. As they know the students well, HEART will match each gift card with each student’s needs and interests. “Some of them, the best thing we can give them is, ‘Hey! Go grab a burger at McDonald’s, here’s a $5 gift card,” Miller says. “And others we would match up with $50 at Walmart so maybe
thing they just want for themselves.” The most desirable cards are for big box stores with more options, though gift cards to anywhere in any amount are welcome. Those who want to donate are asked to drop off or mail the gift cards by Dec. 15 to the SPS administration building, care of Tina Aguilar, 200 N. Bernard St., Spokane, WA 99201. (SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL)
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HOLIDAY POPS Josh Kerns split with his fellow Spokane County commissioners and opposed their final 2018 budget. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
MONEY GAMES
After months of back-and-forth over how to handle a $9.4 million budget shortfall for Spokane County in 2018, county commissioners voted 2-1 to APPROVE A BUDGET on Monday that mostly avoids cuts to public safety. Josh Kerns, however, voted against it because he thinks the county is balancing the budget with what he calls a “gimmick” that takes millions of dollars for road construction to use for next year’s operating expenses. He says the county should have instead made deeper cuts or been more creative in finding ways to save money. “Eventually we gotta quit kicking that can down the road,” Kerns said. Kerns tells the Inlander that instead of approving the so-called road shift, commissioners should have asked county departments to potentially cut more than the 7 percent that commissioners initially asked for. “We need to push the departments further to see what efficiencies are really there,” Kerns says. Commissioner Al French pushed back against the idea that deeper cuts should have been made. He and Kerns both decided earlier this year not to ask voters for a property tax increase to pay for the budget deficit, and French was under the impression that Kerns would support using the road money to help make up the difference. He says the budget approved Monday maintains quality of life and is fiscally responsible. “It’s much more than just a race to the bottom in a budget process,” French says. “It’s about making sure we provide quality services to everybody in this community.” (WILSON CRISCIONE)
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 17
NEWS | TRANSPARENCY
Darkness in Olympia Will the Washington legislature ever be willing to play by the same public records rules as a city council or mayor’s office? BY DANIEL WALTERS
B
With his stint on“Saturday Night Live” anchoring Weekend Update, Dennis Miller became a household name. A comedian, actor and NY Times best seller author, his brand of political and social satire has been enjoyed for decades.
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ack in February, many months before the #MeToo movement started a wave of revelations about sexual harassment by powerful men, Northwest News Network public radio reporter Austin Jenkins tried to use public records law to force the legislature to show their dirty laundry. Inspired by reports of bad legislator behavior in states like Oklahoma and Tennessee, Jenkins made a public records request. It was sprawling, asking for everything pertaining to “substantiated or unsubstantiated allegations of sexual harassment and/or sexual misconduct against elected members of the Washington legislature” stretching all the way back to when he first started to report on the legislature, in 2004. “During my time here, what have I missed,” he recalls thinking. “What have I not been aware of behind the scenes?” After all, Washington state’s Public Records Act, passed by voters in 1972, ensures “full access to public records,” letting reporters dig deep into public officials’ emails. It’s why, two years ago, a public records request from the Spokesman-Review was able to force the city of Spokane to reveal sexual harassment allegations had been leveled against its former police chief Frank Straub. Yet Jenkins’ records request was rejected. The transparency rules that govern Washington state agencies, mayors, city council members and county commissioners don’t apply equally to the state legislature. They ultimately make the rules, after all, and they make the exceptions. But now, two things may change that exemption. First, in September, a coalition of media outlets, including the Associated Press, the Spokesman-Review, the Seattle Times and Northwest News Network, filed a lawsuit, arguing that the legislature was incorrectly interpreting its own definitions. Second, when the new legislative session starts on Jan. 8, at least two state representatives say they’ll introduce legislation that would expose themselves to most of the same public records of everyone else. And for a journalist, that could be crucial. “Public records are an important tool in the reporter’s toolbox,” Jenkins says. “When the tool is taken away from you in your beat, it can be somewhat crippling.”
ACCESS DENIED
A journalist in Washington state can get the
18 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
emails of Spokane Mayor David Condon. They can get the investigation records into the Museum of Arts and Culture’s executive director. They can get notes from Spokane Valley planners, the text messages of a city streets director, the investigative notes of a city administrator, memos from a frustrated local police captain, and the job evaluation of a city manager. But the difference between covering the legislature and the rest of the state and local government is stark. When state Rep. Jesse Young (R-Gig Harbor) was punished for a “pattern of hostile and intimidating behavior” against his own staff, the Associated Press wanted to get investigative records. The Tacoma News Tribune wanted a copy of the disciplinary letter that had already been leaked to the Associated Press. Both were rejected. Jenkins and the Seattle Times’ Joe O’Sullivan — a former Inlander writer — wanted to see the emails between legislative leaders to find out how they were negotiating the state budget in relation to education funding. Their request was also denied. It all goes back to a 1995 bill, when legislators unanimously approved a subtle shift to the definition of “legislative records,” making the legislature arguably exempt from Radio reporter Austin Jenkins most disclosure rules. Subjecting the legislature to the same public disclosure rules was “dangerous to the effective operation of the institution,” one of the bill’s sponsors, then-Democratic Rep. Marlin Appelwick, tells the Associated Press now. Some legislators argue disclosure rules would constrain their ability to negotiate freely. But the result, Jenkins says, has sometimes thwarted reporters from being able to tell the full story of how Washington’s laws are being influenced. “Having covered this place for going on 15 years, there is this veneer on the legislative process that suggests it’s very public,” Jenkins says. “But it’s a bit misleading.” The budgets are written behind closed doors, he says. The lobbyists meet with the legislature behind closed doors. In fact, he says, the lobbyists for the more powerful interests — like Microsoft or Boeing — are often the quietest, the most adept at using backchannels to influence legislation behind the scenes. “There is a tremendous amount of money and influence that is affecting outcomes down there in ways that aren’t always transparent,” Jenkins says. But if he were in Idaho? When far-right Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri refused to tell the Coeur d’Alene Press why he wanted to exempt much of legislators’ correspondence from public records, the Press used public records to reveal what he was saying to constituents. In Washington, reporters can’t use the tactic to show what, say, the similarly press-averse Spokane Valley Rep. Matt Shea is saying behind closed doors. “There are upwards of [800] registered lobbyists and lobbying entities [and] 147 lawmakers,”
Jenkins says. “There are six full-time reporters covering Olympia. Do the numbers.”
SWEATING THE DETAILS
The media lawsuit, filed in September, argues that the legislature is misinterpreting what its 1995 bill did. The lawsuit points out that, in both 2003 and 2005, legislators tried to pass legislation more explicitly exempting legislators from public disclosure rules. Both times, the attempt failed. Paul Graves, a freshman Republican representative from Fall City, outside of Seattle, doesn’t think the legislature’s lawyers are wrong about the interpretation. But he does think the law needs to change. “The Public Records Act applies to every government employee — except legislators,” Graves wrote on Twitter last month. “That’s wrong, and I’m introducing the Legislative Transparency Act to fix it.” His proposal would subject legislators to the same rules as everyone else. Meanwhile, Democratic Rep. Gerry Pollet, a board member of the Washington Coalition for Open Government, aims to introduce similar legislation. “Fundamentally, I believe that the public should know who the legislators are being lobbied by and what kind of commitments they make,” Pollet says. But Pollet says he’s still fine-tuning the details. Conversations with several Spokane-area legislators suggest tentative support for making the legislature more transparent, but caution about the specifics. “I’m not going to push back against something that’s wellcrafted that will provide transparency,” says Rep. Marcus Riccelli, (D-Spokane). But as the House Majority Whip, he also notes that more disclosure requirements could create complications for legislators. For example, he says, what about representatives referencing divorce proceedings in emails trying to work out scheduling? What about representatives trying to quietly communicate across the aisle without getting ostracized by their caucus? “If legislators couldn’t have some conversations with each other that are confidential, there would be a slowdown,” Riccelli says. “People will lean more toward in-person conversations.” Sexual harassment allegations against legislators, says state Sen. Mike Padden (R-Spokane Valley), should be public record. But he’s not so sure about, say, a senator’s calendar referencing their doctor’s appointment. “A lot would depend on how the legislation is written,” Padden says. “It should be prospective and not retrospective.” It’s a notion echoed by several other Spokane area legislators: That new public disclosure rules should only apply to correspondence going forward, not documents from before the law was passed. Under those rules, if Jenkins wanted to resubmit his old rejected records requests, they’d just be rejected again. Riccelli says that the ultimate bill may not end up going far enough to satisfy some media outlets. Even Pollet suggests that communications between legislators and their legislative aides about development of a bill should still be immune from public disclosure. “I think something will get passed,” Riccelli says. “There’s been too much discussion, too much media push, for folks to brush it off.” But Pollet knows getting his bill passed is going to be a challenge. In June, the coalition of Washington state media outlets sent requests to all 147 individual legislators, requesting text messages and their schedules. “Only three legislators provided the collective news media in the state with disclosure of their calendars and schedules,” Pollett says. “That shows how uphill this battle is.” It’s a short legislative session this year. It’s easy for bills that are popular with the public but unpopular with legislators or lobbyists to die quiet deaths. And if the public disclosure bills fail? Journalists like Jenkins won’t be able to use public records to figure out exactly why. n danielw@inlander.com
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 19
Gift
Guide
everyone on your list! SCREEN-OBSESSED KIDS 22 ANGSTY TEENS
22
THE WHOLE FAMILY
24
GEEKS
26
INDECISIVE MILLENNIALS 27 STYLISH DUDES
28
FASHIONISTAS
29
MINIMALISTS
30
RUSSIAN HACKERS
32
THE RECENTLY INDICTED 33 LOCAL SPORTS FANS
34
FITNESS FANATICS
35
IRON CHEFS
36
BEER SNOBS
37
NATURE LOVERS
38
EMPTY NESTERS
39
LOCAL NONPROFITS
40
ILLUSTRATION BY CRAIG WINZER 20 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
Gifts for
MARCHING MOMS T
By Samantha Wohlfeil
his year kicked off with some of the most powerful women in the world taking to the streets and letting their voices be heard. That’s right: moms. Though it’s not over yet, 2017 may well go down as the Year of the Marching Mom. When someone is doing something they shouldn’t, leave it to these leading ladies to call it like they see it. (They do have eyes in the back of their heads after all.) Between all that kicking butt and taking names, here are a few ideas she might love.
“THE MAGIC OF A SMALL WOODLAND SANCTUARY” MUG
We’d all love to give mom a small woodland sanctuary, but let’s face it, it’s a seller’s market, and millennials are still too busy paying down their student loans to buy their own home, let alone a well-earned cabin in the woods away from it all for ma. But maybe you can do the next best thing, and pair this hand-crafted mug by Bellingham artist Cary Lane with some soothing tea and a good book, and give her a sliver of that sweet, sweet serenity. $16 • Prichard Art Gallery gift shop or thebowlmaker.com • 414 S. Main • Moscow
“WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY” SIGN
OK, so Eleanor Roosevelt may not have coined or said this quote (historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich did, originally using “seldom,” not “rarely”), but she pretty much embodied it, and that’s good enough for us. Get mom this powerful reminder to keep up the good work forging her own path forward. $37 • Lolo Boutique • 319 W. Second
HANDMADE NECKLACE
When she needs something to perfectly offset her pink “pussyhat,” look no further than this beautiful selection of handmade necklaces by small Spokane jewelry business Zōmi. The same creative minds behind Fringe and Fray bring you this hammered brass jewelry, full of perfect geometric and crystal pairings. Prices vary, roughly $16 to $40 • Fringe and Fray • 1325 W. First #102
ACLU MEMBERSHIP
If she isn’t already a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union, your marching mom would likely love to become one. On the daily, the organization fights for LGBT rights, reproductive freedom, racial justice, freedom of speech and more. $35, $50, $100, or up to you • ACLU of Washington • www.aclu-wa.org n
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 21
Gift Guide
Gifts for
ScreenObsessed Kids W
By Nathan Weinbender
e’re inundated with visual stimulation all the time — from smartphones, tablets and laptops, not to mention the hi-def TVs in our living rooms. It’s probably not healthy for any of us, but it’s especially problematic when kids have their eyes affixed to those screens for long periods every day. Here are some mostly low-tech, hands-on gifts that should remind your Cut the Ropeaddicted youngsters that it can be fun to unplug for a bit.
“AND THEN…” STORY STARTERS
If your kids are constantly getting wrapped up in the stories they’re seeing on TV, why not try having them make up their own? Each “And Then…” Story Starter box comes with a collection of large cards featuring a scenario with a beginning and a middle; you concoct the ending. What happens after our narrator discovers a hidden panel in a mysterious old library? And what strange creature lurks beneath the surface of the lake? It’s up to you to decide. This is the kind of on-the-fly creativity that could spark a future Dickens or Dahl. $24.95 • Atticus Coffee and Gifts • 222 N. Howard
MOBIUS SCIENCE CENTER MEMBERSHIP
This gift will serve two purposes: It’ll get the kids
22 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
to put their phones down, and it’ll get them out of the house. Both the Mobius Science Center and the River Park Square-located Mobius Children’s Museum offer hands-on learning and awesome exhibits, and your kids will probably want to keep going back. Memberships cover the entire family and last for a full year. $125-$175 • Mobius Science Center • 331 N. Post
DIG A DINOSAUR AND BABY DINO EGG EXCAVATION KITS
There all kinds of dinosaur toys on the market, but Whiz Kids stocks a number of products that allow you to excavate your own dinosaur eggs and fossils. The Dig a Dinosaur kits from Kidz Labs allow you to find bones within a plaster rock that you then assemble, and GeoCentral’s Baby Dino Egg kit lets you play paleontologist on a fossilized “egg.” $8-$13 • Whiz Kids • 808 W. Main
STAR WARS 3D WOOD MODELS
Most kids love Star Wars, and these wooden, paintable 3D models should keep them occupied for an afternoon or two. They come in the shape of several beloved Star Wars icons — the Millennium Falcon, R2D2, an AT-AT, a TIE fighter — and while they’re recommended for ages 12 and up, there’s no doubt younger kids could figure these out with only a little added assistance. $17.95 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard n
Gifts for
Angsty Teens I
By Nathan Weinbender
t’s a truth that’s been universally acknowledged since way before the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff made it gospel: Parents just don’t understand. But if you’ve got an angsty teen or two under your roof, you can convince them you’re the coolest parents on the block with holiday gifts that are not only edgy and cool, but that allow them to hibernate in their rooms for hours on end.
DROPMIX MUSIC GAMING SYSTEM
Say your teen’s a budding DJ, but you don’t want to blow a lot of cash on expensive turntables and sound systems that could end up simply collecting dust. This slick Hasbro toy might be the perfect substitute. The system comes with a collection of cards programmed with popular Top 40 songs (artists represented include Sia, the Weeknd and Ed Sheeran, and expansion packs are also available), and players select individual music cards to remix and mashup those well-known tracks in fresh ways. Compete against your friends, or play around with it on your own. (Note: You have to download the DropMix mobile app, which is compatible on iOS and Android phones.) $125 • Uncle’s Games • 404 W. Main
DEAD ARTIST VOTIVE CANDLES
This series of vibrantly illustrated novelty
candles from the Unemployed Philosophers Guild (which, incidentally, sounds like a band an angsty teen would love) are must-haves for the history- and literature-obsessed adolescent in your life. They come emblazoned with revered historical figures like John Lennon, Frida Kahlo, Carl Sagan and Virginia Woolf; burn one in effigy, or simply use as decoration. $13 • Atticus Coffee and Gifts • 222 N. Howard
SKELETON SCARF
Every angsty teen goes through that requisite goth phase (do we still use the term “goth” anymore?), and there’s no better way to advertise your inner darkness than by emblazoning it on your winter accessories. This awesome 71-inch-long skeleton scarf, manufactured by celebrated Seattle-based novelty company Archie McPhee, is way cooler (and nicer) than anything you’d find in a Hot Topic bargain bin. $20 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard
INSTAX MINI CAMERA
Yeah, it’s super rad that you can take hi-res photos on your phone whenever you want, but where’s the fun in that? Like an old-school Polaroid, this handy Instax camera from Fujifilm allows you to instantly print your handiworks and put them in colorful stick-on frames. It’s way cooler than Instagram. $80 • Huppin’s • 8016 N. Division n
FOR THE FAMILIES STAYING AT THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE,
THE GIFT OF TOGETHERNESS IS ONE OF THE MOST TREASURED. These families were forced to abruptly stop everything in their lives to care for their sick or injured children. Your donations help families stay together and close to the medical care they require for their critically ill children. Give Joy. Give Peace. Give Smiles. Give Laughter.
Donate today at www.rhmcinlandnw.org DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 23
Gift Guide
Gifts for
the Whole Family D
o you know this family? Everyone seated at the dinner table, food served, yet all are so absorbed in whatever is happening on a palm-sized electronic screen, they have not spoken to each other for 15 minutes. If this sounds all too familiar, consider these suggestions for rediscovering face-to-face communication.
WORK IT OUT
Lock yourself in a room with people upon whom you now have to rely on to “escape.” What better way to have to communicate? So there’s a little yelling involved, but also a lot of laughs (we hope). Choose from one of three themes, like the dreaded Detention Room. $15/person • Key Quest Escape Room • 202 W. Second
24 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
By Carrie Scozzaro
ADOPT A RESCUE ANIMAL
Every family member will have to work together to care for Fido or Fifi or Spam the hamster, and working on a responsible pet care plan requires everyone’s input and commitment. Bonus points for older pets, like 8-and-a-half-year-old Tessa, that are typically more settled (and cheaper) to adopt. $0-$175 • Spokane Humane Society • 6607 N. Havana
PLAY AROUND
The family that plays together, stays together, right? Plan your outing: bowling, climbing, golf, bumper cars and more at Triple Play, not including the adjacent waterpark, Raptor Reef. You’ll probably
want your phones back, but just to snap some pix of all the fun you’re having… together. Passes starting at $36/person, less for individual attractions • Triple Play • 175 W. Orchard, Hayden
MAKE TIME
The problem isn’t new technology; it’s how we interact with it. And if living in FOMO (aka, fear of missing out) can be learned, it can be unlearned. Make being fully present with each other — take a walk, play cards, make art together, visit other families — a priority, using a 12-month desk calendar (not new, but tried-and-true technology) to help you share information. $11 • Vanderford’s Book & Office Products • 201 Cedar, Sandpoint n
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 25
Gift Guide
two performances (Feb. 17 at 2 and 8 pm) featuring music from award-winning composer John Williams. Special programs before each concert include a costume contest, photo opportunities with characters from the movies, drink specials from the Mos Eisley Cantina, and an authentic cantina band, says Bethany Schoeff, the Symphony’s creative director of special programs. Tickets go on sale Dec. 7 and range in price from $25-$50 for adults ($100 for VIP), and $19-$37 for kids ($75 for VIP) • spokanesymphony.org or The Fox Box Office • 1001 W. Sprague
ORIGINAL STAR WARS TOYS
With the upcoming release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, it’s important to remember how we got here. Time Bomb Collectibles in the Garland neighborhood has a stash of the original toys from 1977 to ’85, including action figures (Han Solo, Lando and Yoda), ships and vehicles (TIE fighters, and AT-AT walkers). Prices range from about $8 up to $130. The shop also has Star Wars toys from the ’90s, superhero action figures and plenty of other wares for the nerd on your list. • Time Bomb Collectibles • 600 W. Garland
Gifts for
SUPER NES CLASSIC EDITION
Geeks T
This smaller, digital version of the iconic classic game console Super Nintendo is one of the hottest items this year. The system comes with two controllers and digital versions of 20 classic games including Super Mario World, Street Fighter II, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Super Metroid and the never before released Star Fox 2. Hurry, they sell out quick. $80 • GameStop • 2223 W. Wellesley
By Mitch Ryals
hose elusive nerds. What do they want for Christmas? Sure, you’ve heard of Star Wars, and you know that’s not the same as Star Trek, but perhaps any more distinction among this niche interest group escapes you. Show the geek on your list that, despite their obsession with alternative universes, you care. Each of these ideas is something you can do together. Maybe you’ll get hooked, too.
TRIP TO THE ARCADE
“MUSIC OF STAR WARS” AT THE SPOKANE SYMPHONY
A short time ago, in a concert hall not that far, far away, the Spokane Symphony delivered one of the first ever symphonic performances of music from The Force Awakens. Last year’s “Music of Star Wars the Symphony Awakens” was a big hit in Spokane, and sold out quickly. This year, the symphony will put on
Jedi Alliance has become a nerd sanctuary of sorts. The arcade and gift shop that replaced a Methodist church features 85 arcade and pinball machines, including a super rare Ghostbusters game. In 2018, the owners are adding even more. The place is open Friday and Sunday from 6 to 10 pm, and for private parties seven days a week. They’ll sell you a gift card good for games and the shop. Jedi Alliance Spokane • 2024 E. Boone n
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Boy: I dunno, what kind of food do you want? She had a bowl of Cheerios. I made a sandwich. You may not be able to end this vicious cycle completely, but you can help. Get those crazy kids a gift certificate to a meal delivery service, such as the Spokane-based Pantry Fuel. The food is made from scratch from locally sourced ingredients. Menu options change on a weekly basis. $60 for a weekly subscription, which includes five meals. Or buy a gift card for any amount • pantryfuel.com • 221 E. Rockwood
F* THAT
Gifts for
Indecisive Millennials By Mitch Ryals
W
hen did indecisiveness become an unattractive character trait? Well, I don’t know actually. Let me think about that for a minute. In the meantime, may I suggest an alternative frame of mind. Don’t think of us as “indecisive.” Rather, we’re careful, considerate, thoughtful. No surprise considering the incredible amount of information flying at us at any instant. You’d be indecisive, too, if all you had to do is swipe right for the next available warm body. Here’s some help with what to get us for Christmas.
Spokane’s Newest Gift Shop, Garden Center & Nursery
MEAL DELIVERY
An actual conversation between a millennial couple: Girl: What do you want for dinner? Boy: I dunno, what do you want? Girl: Taco night? Boy: I had Chipotle for lunch. Girl: How about pizza? Boy: Ehhh, I’m tired of pizza. Girl: Well what kind of food do you want?
Who among your friends would rub chicken poop on their head to prevent hair loss? Which friend is the first to be sacrificed in the zombie apocalypse? Which ’90s TV show would your friends most like to teleport into? These are questions that need answers, but don’t typically come up in polite society. The new party game, F* That, is changing that. Each player is forced to confront some of life’s most crucial conundrums, and offer up definitive answers. No safe spaces allowed. $15 • The Comic Book Shop • 3207 N. Division
PORTABLE PHONE CHARGER
Raise your hand if some idiot on his phone has plowed into you because apparently it’s OK to just not look where you’re walking anymore. Millennials, amiright? At this point, it’s probably too late. They’re too far gone. You’re not going to break them of this habit. Best to lean into it. Get ’em a portable cell phone charger, so their batteries, like their Tweets, will live forever. $30 • Huppin’s • 8016 N. Division
MAGIC 8 BALL
Perhaps the most obvious gift for 20- or 30-somethings who can’t make up their minds is the classic stand by: the Magic 8 Ball. Should we got out to eat? “Ask again later.” Should I move out of my parents’ house? “Reply hazy try again.” How am I supposed to pay off all these student loans? “Very doubtful.” See? Problem solved. $7.50 • White Elephant • 1730 N. Division n
“There is no other place like this in Spokane.”
s a e d I ft i G y a d i l Great Ho featuring Local Artisans
Bird Houses
Bird Feeders
Remember you were going
Gift Baskets
to start
Metal Yard Art
shopping early?
Indoor Live Bulb growing kits
Christmas , well it s time
Boo�Radley’s Uncommon�Gifts
232�N.�Howard�.�456-7479 across�from�the�carousel
15614 E Sprague Ave • Spokane Valley • Tue-Sat 10a-6p Sun 10a-4p www.Sculptured-Gardens.com • 509.290.6866
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 27
Gift Guide
Gifts for
Stylish Dudes T
By Chey Scott
here’s somewhat a fine balance in men’s fashion between looking like you care enough about current trends and how you look, while also giving the impression you’re not trying that hard. The easiest way to achieve this effortless-yet-aware look is for your favorite dude to build a collection of high-quality and timeless staples that are always ready to throw on.
WHITE’S BOOTS SERVICE BOOT
These timeless beauties from Spokane institution White’s Boots, which has been handmaking working men’s footwear since 1915, are obviously a major splurge item, but it’ll be a pair to last decades if properly cared for. These military police service boots are from White’s lifestyle boot line, and offer a heavy-duty studded rubber sole that provides both comfort and longevity. This timeless handsewn, captoe style also goes with pretty much everything, and is sold in five leather colors ranging from black to shades of brown and light tan. Another popular new style from the White’s lifestyle boot collection is the Chukka dress boot, starting at $487, and which isn’t listed online, but can be purchased from its Spokane showroom. $639 • White’s Boots • 4002 E. Ferry • whitesboots.com • 800-541-3786
CRAFT & LORE CRAFT BELT
Every guy needs a trusty belt that can be worn daily and will last a lifetime. Enter this handcrafted, custom-made piece by Chad Von Lind, the guy behind the locally based leatherworking operation Craft & Lore. This particular piece is made from hand-cut, ultra-sturdy harness leather that will shape itself to the wearer over time. This style comes in both black and brown leather. Before placing an order you will have to sneak a measurement of your guy’s current belt to ensure proper fit, which Craft & Lore’s website explains how to do. $90 • Craft & Lore • 3909 N. Schreiber Way, Suite 4, Coeur d’Alene • craftandlore.com
GREAT PNW MILLER CREWNECK
Your best bud, brother, boyfriend or husband will look effortlessly cool, comfortable and hip when he throws on this classic black crewneck sweatshirt from local lifestyle brand the Great PNW. The brand is locally known for its
28 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
contemporary graphic designs printed onto both men’s and women’s apparel that pays homage to the great landscape and recreation-based lifestyle of its namesake, the glorious Pacific Northwest. This classic black crew with its minimalist typography can be worn year-round for a clean, modern look. $43 • Sold in Spokane at Atticus, Boulevard Mercantile, Kingsley & Scout and online • thegreatpnw.com
NAKED & FAMOUS JAPANESE SELVEDGE RAW DENIM
What the heck is raw selvedge denim, you ask, and why does the stylish guy on your list need some? Sure, it’s a mouthful, but the gist is that these jeans are made in an old-school style developed post-WWII in a region of Japan that’s still known for its high quality, loom-woven denim featuring a finished “self-edge” on the ends of each piece of fabric. The cotton yarn itself is specially rope-dyed, which allows for unique patterns of wear to fade into the fabric over time. Essentially, these are ultra-customizable to the wearer, long lasting, and most certainly on-trend in the world of men’s fashion. The locally owned men’s fashion and lifestyle retailer Kingsley & Scout — which offers plenty of other locally made products and brands, plus lots of stylish gift ideas at a variety of price points — is the only place in town you’ll find the Canadian-made line of Japanese selvedge denim from Naked & Famous. Treat a guy you love to a pair of these jeans he’ll want to wear day in and out. $150-$170 • Kingsley & Scout • 2810 N. Monroe • kingsleyandscout. com
KINGSLEY & SCOUT LEATHER KEY FOB
This handmade leather key fob stamped with the stylized K&S logo of the aforementioned men’s lifestyle store Kingsley & Scout is a perfect stocking stuffer or add-on item for the trendy or soon-to-be trendy guy on your list. A functional item like this sturdy key fob is an ideal gift since it’s something the recipient will use daily, not only making their life a little easier, but also reminding them of the person it was from. $20 • Kingsley & Scout • 2810 N. Monroe • kingsleyandscout.com n
Gifts for
Fashionistas I
By Chey Scott
t’s dauntingly difficult to shop for the best-dressed ladies you know — those gal pals and sisters whose closets you constantly borrow from (or wish were your own), and that fashionable friend always one step ahead of the season’s hottest trends. Where to even begin when it comes to sizes? Don’t worry about figuring out a covert way to ask her that, because the items on this list are nearly all sizeless, on-trend accessories that can be worn over and over, and for many occasions.
MILLIANNA CILLA CHOKER
The Spokane-based, fine fashion jewelry line Millianna has been worn by celebrities in TV series and has caught the attention of major women’s magazines and high-end boutiques across the U.S. Co-founder Arianna Brooke manages the business here, while her best friend and business partner Sharmilla Persaud crafts innovative new looks from her New York studio. All the jewelry pieces are made in Spokane by trained local artisans, many of whom arrived here as refugees. This particular piece is right on trend — the ’90s choker look has made a big comeback, and this one is simple yet statement-making, with a variety of cut crystal colors to choose from. $95 • millianna. com • Call the downtown Spokane showroom at 747-9077 for appt. or local order pickup
FOX THEATER 10TH ANNIVERSARY SCARVES
She can wear her love for one of Spokane’s most iconic locales around her neck with either of these elegantly stylish pieces, commemorating the historic theater’s exquisite Art Deco interior and the 10th anniversary of its renovation. Designed by Spokane artist Chris Bovey, these 100-percent silk, limited edition pieces come in two versions. One is an oblong piece in deep teal, white and yellow, while the other is square shaped — she can wear this in the trendy retro flight attendant style — featuring patterns of rich golden yellow, brown and kelly green. Order online before they’re sold out, and pick up at the box office. $37/$43 • Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox • 1001 W. Sprague • foxtheaterspokane.org
HUSTLE & HIDE FRANKIE BAG
Spokane leather goods purveyor Hustle & Hide Co., the creative output of local couple Teddi and Tyler Cripps, has made a name for itself in the Inland Northwest and in style-conscious cities across the U.S. This fall, H&H relaunched its staple women’s bag collection, including the signature small satchel called “The Frankie,” which comes in a matte gray and saddle tan. The versatile, made-tolast bag is a perfect gift for stylish girls on the go, with its timeless, minimalist shape and dual functionality from a removable shoulder strap. Orders placed online for delivery by Dec. 25 are requested ASAP, but local shoppers might also be able to find this style and others at Window Dressing’s Pop-Up Shop downtown. $120 • Order online or find select styles at the Pop-Up Shop • 159 S. Lincoln • hustleandhide.com
HATCH FUR POM BEANIE
Beanies with big fluffy, furry pom poms on the top are one of the hottest winter looks in women’s fashion this year. Not only will your sister or bestie look super cute wearing this knit hat from Hatch Hats, which is fleecelined for extra warmth and comfort, she’ll also be incredibly cozy. $33 • Boutique Bleu • 1184 W. Summit Pkwy. • boutiquebleuonline.com
ROTHY’S THE POINT FLAT
Fresh Wreath� & Poinsettia� LARGEST VARIETY IN TOWN.
This next item is a personal recommendation of my own, and while it’s a bit spendy, it’s definitely worth saving up for or splurging on. Rothy’s is a San Francisco-based maker of sustainable women’s ballet flats made from the recycled plastic of disposable water bottles. Rothy’s shoes are also seamlessly knitted to offer a slightly stretchy (read: less chance of blisters!) and, best of all, washable material. Perhaps the best part is that they’re ultra-chic, and can be worn dressed up or casually for a comfortable and stylish look. Both pointed- and round-toe ($125) styles come in a variety of year-round and seasonal colors and patterns. $145 • rothys.com n
14208 E 4th Ave, Spokane Valley | 509.926.9397 | plant-farm.com
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 29
Coug Gifts
Gift Guide
618 W. Riverside Avenue (509)309-2050 10 a.m.- 6 p.m. Monday-Saturday * plus bonus holiday hours *
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Gifts for
Minimalists T
By Samantha Wohlfeil
hey fill our Instagram feeds with crisp images of their immaculate apartments, marked by clean lines, sunshine and wood, the few items on shelves painstakingly curated for their aesthetic and practical appeal. They are gods among us mere consumers (yet somehow inspire in us the urge to buy more things to make our apartments look like that). If you take a good look at it, minimalism isn’t all about not owning anything, but about making sure the things in your life are meaningful, without being the things that give you meaning. “The Minimalists” explain it like this: People who live this lifestyle question which things add value to their lives, and try to get rid of the clutter that doesn’t. Hopefully that frees up more time, energy and money to focus on the experiences and people that make you happy.
VINTAGE BLUETOOTH RADIO
Don’t worry, you’re not that old (yet). What we’re talking about is the ingenious handiwork of David Jeffers, owner of Boulevard Mercantile. Jeffers breathes new life into vintage stereos and radios by outfitting them with Bluetooth technology, perfect for the minimalist in your life who has digitized their entire collection to avoid the clutter of physical vinyl and CDs. While they wirelessly stream their music, your minimalist can also delight in knowing their speakers were saved from going to a dump only to be replaced by a cheaper, newer model hot off the manufacturing line. Prices vary (pictured: $160) • Boulevard Mercantile • 1905 N. Monroe
30 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
KEEPCUP REUSABLE COFFEE CUP, 12 OZ
One of the easiest ways to reduce needless clutter? A reusable coffee cup. Say goodbye to the days of tossing out disposable paper cups, and help the minimalist warmly welcome this stylish glass and cork into their routine. $32 • Indaba Coffee • 1425 W. Broadway
GARLAND MEMBERSHIP
We assume that being a minimalist means not having a TV or cable. For the minimalist you’re worried doesn’t get enough exposure to pop culture to understand your very funny conversational movie references, try a yearly pass to the Garland. They’ll get unlimited entry to all regularly scheduled movies and Garland-sponsored events for the price of 14 shows. $70 • Garland Theater • 924 W. Garland
TIMBERLINE ADVENTURES ZIP LINE TOUR
Let’s face it, one of the coolest things about focusing less on stuff and more on experiences is getting out for some pretty sweet adventures. This seven-line tour offers hours of fun, with treetop views as you zip along lines sandwiched between pristine wooded wilderness and Lake Coeur d’Alene. $84 (holiday gift card special, redeemable during 2018 season) • Timberline Adventures • 210 Sherman #131, Coeur d’Alene • ziptimberline.com n
Offering Hope
We are Spokane’s only ketamine infusion center offering safe, clinically proven intravenous therapy for the treatment of mood disorders in patients who continue to suffer despite conventional treatments. There is hope. We are accepting referrals for patients with the clinical diagnoses of depression, suicidal Ideation, PTSD, bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, OCD or generalized anxiety disorder.
509-934-7177 ketamineclinicofspokane.com
LIVE MUSIC
3131 N. DIVISION ST. SPOK ANE, WA 99207 509.324.8612
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for the foodies on your list
W
e've filled our holds full to the scuppers with culinary treasures! Our trade mission is to bring you fresh spices, spice blends and rubs, high quality loose leaf teas, flavorful quality oils and aged balsamic vinegar.
Come by for samples anytime. Taste and smell the difference fresh makes!
328 N. Sullivan, Suite 2, Spokane Valley • 509-315-4036 • SpiceAndVineMerc.com
WE’VE MOVED!
(509) 328-5253 www.afm105.org DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 31
Fa ir Tr ad e Te xt ile s
Gift Guide
han d pain ted pillo ws, apro ns & tabl e run ners
Holiday Shopping that makes a World of Difference! 35 W. Main, Spokane • 509-464-7677 Mon - Sat 10 - 5:30 • Sun noon to 4
Gifts for
Russian Hackers R
JAN, THE TOY LADY, HOPES SANTA’S REINDEER WILL HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO FLY ALL OVER THE WORLD: w asty ne Yum! T y the b d e s kis leaves nlight. ay ’s su d r io r p
ussian hackers are famously difficult to shop for. After all, what do you get for the guy who already bought your credit card information off of the Dark Web back in 2015? But think in terms of convenience: He has a lot on his mind. He has the entire fate of Western democracy in his hands. He has to manage his exhausting swarm of trolls and bots. He spends way too much time on Twitter and Facebook. So collude with a couple of your friends, pool your rubles, and buy a few of these gifts for the Russian hacker in your life.
MESSENGER BAG
As hacker video game Watch Dogs 2 teaches us, the most important part of hacking is owning a cool messenger bag. After all, a hacker may need a quick and stylish way to get their laptops out in their targets’ server room, all while dangling from a ventilation shaft. Pick up a Banjo Brothers messenger bag from beloved Bike Hub for $65 if you’re on a budget. Or, if you’re going swankier, check out the Dispatch bag at Thrux Lawrence in Coeur d’Alene. $450 • 206 N. Third • Coeur d’Alene
64-GIG THUMB DRIVE
River Park Square (509) 456-TOYS 32 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
By Daniel Walters
Hackers know there’s nothing worse than tunneling into a DNC database and realizing that they’ve run out of storage space. If they haven’t upgraded to unlimited storage on Dropbox, carrying around a heavy duty flash drive
at all times is the next best alternative. This Samsung USB 3.0 drive can be looped directly onto a keyring. The hacker in your life will never have to leave a single Clinton campaign chair risotto recipe behind. $30 • Recycle Techs • 3601 N. Nevada
DRY FLY VODKA
It’s not worth the hard work it takes to topple American institutions if you need to do it sober. While the curators at the Vodka Museum in Moscow will repeatedly insist that if it’s not Russian, it’s not vodka, hackers play by their own rules. Go local and get them a big bottle of Dry Fly. Toss in some Dry Fly Triticale whiskey while you’re at it. $40 • Dry Fly Distilling • 1003 E. Trent Ave
CARAT WIRELESS IN-EAR HEADPHONES
Sometimes, the Russian hacker is the guy barking orders into headphones at agents out in the field. Sometimes he’s out in the field getting orders barked at himself. In that case, he needs to make sure those orders come in clearly and reliably. The Carat bluetooth headphones from Fiil not only have a mic, voice controls and volume, play, pause and call buttons, they have a magnetic clasp that automatically puts your headphones on standby mode when not in use. Perfect for both jogging and infiltrating. $99 • Huppin’s • 8016 N Division n
Gifts for
The Recently Indicted W
YEAR END Clearance L A ST S E I L P P U WHILE S
By Dan Nailen
e all know someone (or several someones) who occasionally get sideways with The Law. Just because a grand jury or county prosecutor has decided they have enough evidence to send that someone up the river doesn’t mean they should miss out on Christmas. So whether we’re talking about a sister who lives “off the grid” by evading her taxes or an uncle caught up in some high-profile FBI probe into a certain president’s Russia connections, let’s pick some gifts that will help them pass the time in the pokey. You know, just in case that indictment turns into a conviction.
FAKE TAMPON FLASKS
Substance abuse in prison is a serious issue, but assuming your friend or relative is going to jail for the first time, a good stiff drink might be necessary to get through their first few nights. These handy little numbers are the perfect way to smuggle in a few pops for the recently imprisoned, and sneaking whiskey into a jail seems a lot more likely than baking a file into a cake. Coming in a handy five-pack, these fake tampons should at least last a few days, and could probably be traded for cigarettes in a pinch. $14 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard
PICTURE FRAME
Missing loved ones has to be rough for everyone in jail, from the white-collar criminals to the most violent offenders. A handy 5-by-7-inch frame is small enough to pack from cell to cell or prison to prison, and a great way to keep alive some memory of the life left behind. $9 • William Grant Gallery and Framing • 1188 W. Summit Pkwy
CRIBBAGE BOARD
Your jailed love one is going to need to make friends, and fast, with any new roommates. Playing cards is a great way to bond and keep things chill (unless you get gambling involved — don’t do that). A beautiful cribbage board lends itself to a fun, time-consuming game, and a weapon for self-defense if a riot breaks out. $60 • Made In Washington • 808 W. Main #223
YMCA MEMBERSHIP
A gym membership might not seem a natural gift for someone going up the river, but considering the time that appeals can take in the court system, why not help your friend or relative get in fighting shape — literally — before they head to prison? The YMCA has everything needed and memberships you can cancel any time. $56.50/month for adults 25-61 • Central Spokane YMCA • 930 N. Monroe n
509-535-1111 1727 E Sprague Ave, Spokane Monday - Saturday 10am - 5pm Connect with us! @shopthetinroof
www.TinRoofFurniture.com DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 33
Gift Guide
GONZAGA DOOR MAT
In order to keep the peace, sometimes it’s good to just let visitors to your house know your sports loyalties right from the jump. It allows them to either avoid any uncomfortable insults at the expense of the homeowner’s team, or engage in some (hopefully good-hearted) banter about, say, the most recent Apple Cup. A Gonzaga door mat is a perfect way to let your Inland Northwest visitors know you roll with the basketball powerhouse, and think about them every time you leave or enter your house. $30 • MVP Fanmats • NorthTown Mall kiosk • 4750 N. Division
SEAHAWKS PAJAMA PANTS
Gifts for
Local Sports Fans S
By Dan Nailen
ome people are happiest on their couch or inside an arena or stadium, screaming their heads off in support of the Zags or Cougs, Eagles or Seahawks. You might think they’re all set for team apparel or “12” flags,
34 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
but here’s the thing about dedicated sports fans — there’s never too much when it comes to the sports and teams they love. Here are some ideas that might get you some cheers of your own this year.
If you know a football lover, you know the better part of a Sunday morning is spent lounging, hard, in front of the TV. To do that correctly, you need the comfiest clothes possible. These Seahawks pajama pants are, like the team when they’re on a roll, hard to beat. $30 • Red Fox • 4750 N. Division
KINGDOME COMMEMORATIVE GLASS
No-Li Brewhouse has been using a series of creative pint glasses to pay tribute to various “Legends of the Northwest,” and virtually everyone has a memory of the Kingdome, whether it’s of Ken Griffey Jr. hitting jacks, or Steve Largent catching touchdown passes in the cavernous dome. The best part of this gift — it’s a limited edition, only available at the brewery for a limited time. $5 • No-Li Brewhouse • 1003 E. Trent Ave, #170
NCAA WOMEN’S REGIONAL TICKETS
March Madness hits Spokane in 2018 in the form of the women’s basketball tournament’s regional round. Back in 2015, the Gonzaga women’s team was part of a powerhouse group of teams that also included Tennessee, Duke and Maryland. Even if the Zags don’t get to play at Spokane Arena this time around, you’ll get thrilling action and one team’s send-off to the Final Four for a great deal. $50 • Spokane Arena • 720 W. Mallon n
REFLECTIVE VEST
It’s winter, it’s always dark, and even a fitness fanatic might think it’s smarter to stay inside rather than go on a run, for fear of their own safety. Don’t let them. Buy them an Amphipod Xinglet Lite Reflective Running Vest. Then, they truly have no excuses. It’s lightweight, it’s easy to get on and off and it adjusts for their height and waist size. More importantly, it keeps them visible for the cars on the road. They can go on a run without (as much) fear of nobody seeing them, making their workout that much better. $25 • Sport Town • 511 W. Main
ICE GRIPS
Gifts for
Fitness Fanatics T
By Wilson Criscione
hey’re the lights flashing at dawn on the side of the road. They’re the primal screams echoing from the gym walls. They’re the fresh footprints on the snow-covered trail. They’re fitness fanatics, and their motivation knows no bounds. But you?
You can’t even find the motivation to cancel the gym membership you haven’t used in a year, let alone join your fitness fanatic friend for a workout. Here’s a secret: Buy them a gift that improves their fitness escapades. Maybe, that way, they’ll enjoy it so much that they won’t ask for company.
For a fitness fanatic, a major injury can take away their ability to exercise, leaving them no longer a fitness fanatic, but a plain old fanatic. And with the snow and ice coming, they might be wary about running or walking out in the cold. With the YakTrax Pro, however, they can attach better grip to the bottom of their shoes for running or light hiking. $28 • Runners Soul • 221 N. Wall
JUMP ROPE
Steadily and repeatedly jumping up and down for a certain period of time is a great way for fitness fanatics to get their cardio in without having to even leave the house. But it doesn’t matter who it is, doing so without the use of a jump rope would look silly. Buy your jumping friend a jump rope so they can save face. $15 • Big 5 Sporting Goods • 101 E. Best, Coeur d’Alene
ROLLER
Any workout deserves, and often necessitates, a period of recovery. Some fitness fanatics may even ask you for a muscle massage. Don’t give in. Instead, buy them a foam roller. It stretches out those muscles in a way that a human hand just can’t. And this Pro-Tec The Y Foam Roller, with the Y-shaped ridges, provides an even deeper tissue massage. $35 • Runners Soul • 221 N. Wall n
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 35
Christmas Decor and Gifts
Simply the Best
Gift Guide
M-Sat 9-6pm & Sun 10-4pm • 11806 E Sprague
509-927-8206 • simplynorthwest.com
Gifts for
Iron Chefs I
By Carrie Scozzaro
ron chefs can make a tasty meal from the dregs of a devout bachelor’s fridge. Iron chefs mastered multicourse meals for 20 before they were age 20. And they wax rhapsodic when discussing a new technique, piece of equipment or ingredient. So of course there’s no gadget or cookbook they’ve not heard of and you are not confident enough to bring them something you made (will you ever be?). Until then, try these gifts.
A BOTTLE TO SHARE
While most people who earn their keep from the kitchen will appreciate a well-made knife or interesting cookbook, says chef Angelo Brunson, what gift-givers consider a good fit might not jibe with the chef’s perspective. Instead, give a bottle of wine. “Good wine does not have to be expensive,” says Brunson, the owner of Angelo’s Ristorante and Martino Tuscan Grill, both in Coeur d’Alene, who also makes wine on the side. At the Dinner Party, you might be asked your preferences — red or white, sweet or dry — and parameters, namely price, although you can’t go wrong with one of their 25 recommended $15-andunder bottles. Try Raymond R Collection “Field Blend,” designed to appeal to any palate. $15 • The Dinner Party • 3520 N. Government Way, Coeur d’Alene
BETTER BAND-AIDS
It’s only a matter of time before your favorite chef gets a
36 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
boo-boo, so go the funny (and very affordable) route of funky Band-Aids. Add Insult to Injury bandages advise “Maybe if you were smarter you wouldn’t keep getting hurt.” Ouch! Better yet, go with Archie McPhee’s bacon bandages which suggest you “Treat your minor cuts, scrapes, and scratches with the incredible healing power of meat.” $8 • Zany Zebra • 317 N. First, Sandpoint
FOODIE FOOTWEAR
Unlike some occupations, cooking rarely occurs while seated, making kitchen work especially hard on the body. You’ve heard of farm-to-table? Slogger’s slip-on, waterproof, sturdy-tread shoes go garden-to-galley, providing stylish comfort all day. Let acclaimed chef Mario Batali have his orange Crocs; your iron chef gets to express him or herself through whimsical designs like the Chicken Print Barn Red. $29.99 • sloggers.com
SOUS VIDE COOKER
Fall-off-the-bone chops, perfectly cooked chicken every time, easy cheese-making: That’s sous vide, in which bag-sealed food items cook while immersed in hot water, leaving food tender and moist. Getting your iron chef a sous vide cooker is a win-win; as they perfect the technique, you’ll be invited over to try out the results. $949 • Bargreen-Ellingson Foodservice Supply & Design • 223 W. Boone. n
HOLIDAY SHOPPING STARTS HERE
Gifts for
Beer Snobs T
By Derek Harrison
here’s a difference between the casual craft beer drinker and a beer snob. The snob scoffs every time you order a pilsner and hasn’t touched an Elysian beer since 2015 — the year it was bought by Anheuser-Busch. If you were simply considering buying them what you believe to be a nice bottle, I’d advise against that. Chances are your beer aficionado already has the beer they want, or you have no idea what “Cantillon” is or where you would even find it. Instead, let me suggest a few unique gifts that you can find right here in the Inland Northwest.
INSULATED GROWLER
Their kitchen storage space may be overflowing with glass growlers from those countless times they made that last-minute decision to take some delicious beer to-go, but you are here to amend that. The copper color stainless steel growlers available at Perry Street Brewing will make them never want to leave home unprepared again. The fact that they are double-walled and vacuuminsulated assures the snob’s beer will stay cold and safe from the mountaintops to the deep waters. Plus, they’ll get to represent a local brewery wherever their beer adventures take them. $50 • Perry Street Brewing • 1025 S Perry St #2
IRON BOTTLE OPENER
The typical beer snob is always looking for a way to stand out from the common consumer. With their Teku glassware and watch made from reclaimed beer barrels, you might feel like there’s nothing you could impress them with. Well, Nick Bradley’s custom bottle openers made
ANTIQUES • VINTAGE GIFTS • PENDLETON 112 S CEDAR STREET SPOKANE, WA WWW.TWOWOMENVINTAGEGOODS.COM
Are you on the Naughty or Nice List?
from railroad parts and other recycled metal are sure to fit the bill of the highest standards. Each piece is guaranteed to be the highlight of any rare bottle share. Your options include rail spikes, horse shoes, rockers and wrenches. $16.50 • Mom’s Custom Tattoo • 1226 W. Summit Pkwy • fb.com/ironsharpensironstudio
LEATHER COASTERS
Their tables are stained with beer rings from overflowed foam and spills. Their solution? Stealing cardboard coasters from their regular hangout because they already exceeded their budget from the latest exclusive release. Help them out. Save their countertops and upgrade their coaster-game with high-quality leather from Thrux Lawrence. Available in black, dark and light brown online or at the Coeur d’Alene shop. $10 • Thrux Lawrence • 206 N. 3rd Street, Coeur d’Alene • thruxlawrence.com
MALTED BARLEY DOG TREATS
People tend to enjoy pushing their passions and hobbies onto their pets. The locally owned Malted Mutt Dog Treats make it possible for dogs to be roped into the craft beer world without being potentially poisoned by hops. The primary ingredient in each treat is malted barley provided by local breweries. Flavor options include Banana Honey Hefeweizen, Oatmeal Apple Farmhouse Ale and Peanut Butter Molasses Porter. It’s on you to pick the right style for your beer snob because it’s important to them — trust me. You can order the treats online in an Iron Goat Brewing pint glass, which, if you’re lucky, the recipient will let you keep because they have plenty of glassware already. $12 • Maltedmutt.com n
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3609 N Division Street in Spokane 348 W Bosanko in Coeur d’Alene
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 37
Gift Guide
Gifts for
Nature Lovers I
By Tuck Clarry
t may not be yours or my cup of tea, but most of those around us have an affinity for the outdoors up here in the Inland Northwest. Depending on your wanderer, you might be dealing with a Walt Whitman or an Evil Knievel. Here are some options to help whomever dip their toes in some diverse fun.
DISCOVER PASS
14702 E. INDIANA • SPOKANE VALLEY • 509-891-0289 1710 W. PULLMAN RD • MOSCOW • 208-882-7630 407 W. NEIDER • COEUR D’ ALENE • 208-667-0042 4750 N. DIVISION • SPOKANE NORTHTOWN • 509-484-7062 Distribution Period: November 20 – December 31, 2017, while supplies last. SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY. THE $5 BONUS PROMOTIONAL COUPON IS PROVIDED AT NO COST TO THE BEARER, FOR A LIMITED TIME ON A FIRST-COME, FIRST-SERVED BASIS WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. THE $5 BONUS COUPON IS REDEEMABLE FROM JANUARY 1 UNTIL FEBRUARY 28, 2018 TOWARD THE PURCHASE OF FOOD OR NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AT PARTICIPATING BUFFALO WILD WINGS LOCATIONS IN THE U.S. ONLY. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. THE $5 BONUS COUPON CANNOT BE USED TO PURCHASE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. OBTAIN ONE $5 BONUS COUPON FOR EVERY $25 IN SELECT GIFT CARDS PURCHASED AT PARTICIPATING BUFFALO WILD WINGS LOCATIONS OR AT http://buffalowildwings.com/en/gift-card/ (GIFT CARD CANNOT BE USED FOR FOUR (4) HOURS AFTER PURCHASE) DURING THE DISTRIBUTION PERIOD, LIMIT OF FOUR $5 BONUSES PER PERSON. ANY REMAINING VALUE WILL EXPIRE AS OF CLOSE OF BUSINESS FEBRUARY 28, 2018. THE $5 BONUS COUPON CANNOT BE USED TO PURCHASE GIFT CARDS, HAS NO CASH VALUE AND IS NOT REDEEMABLE OR RETURNABLE FOR CASH. THE $5 BONUS COUPON CANNOT BE USED WITH A BUFFALO WILD WINGS EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. WE WILL NOT REPLACE $5 BONUS COUPONS THAT ARE LOST, STOLEN OR DAMAGED. USE OR ACCEPTANCE OF THE $5 BONUS COUPON CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. ©2017 Buffalo Wild Wings, Inc. BWW2017-0044625
38 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
The usefulness of an annual Washington State Discover Pass cannot be understated. Not only will your adventurer be able to take advantage of nearby excursions, but also any of the 100 parks or 350 recreation sites found throughout the state. The pass is good for two vehicles (one at a time, however), and creates new fun cheap alternatives when you’re over on the west side. The pass also works for over 700 water-access points for boating and fishing. And you’re helping offset the tax reduction of the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife! $35 • Various outdoor outfitters • store.discoverpass.wa.gov
SILVERBOW FLY FISHING LESSONS
When ramping up for spring activities, what better time than January or February to learn the prerequisites to take part in fly fishing? Get your lake or river Ahab a flytying or appropriate level of casting lessons (taught when
the weather is a little warmer) from the folks at Silver Bow Fly Shop. $40-60 • Silver Bow Fly Shop • 13210 E. Indiana, Spokane Valley
WILD WALLS LESSONS
With nine climbing areas within 20 minutes, climbing may be one of the more underrated outdoor activities for the average Spokanite. Get your aspiring climber a class at Wild Walls. Depending on their past experience, you could hook them up with the novice Vertical Introduction class, or prepare them for the outdoors with the intermediate Introduction to Lead Climbing course. $35-60 • Wild Walls • 202 W. Second
MSR ATLAS SNOWSHOES
For a scenic hike and a great alternative to Nordic and downhill skiing, it’s hard to go wrong with a pair of snowshoes for your snowbunny. The folks at Mountain Gear recommended any of the MSR Atlas snowshoe line, which varies in style and price depending on your needs. Nearby Mount Spokane boasts six snowshoe trails, ranging from easy to difficult. The trails also boast a route to the top of Mount Spokane, which has access to their cabin cafeteria. $189-350 • Mountain Gear Outfitters • 2002 N. Division n
Now – December 24
Gifts for
Empty Nesters M
By Tuck Clarry
DECEMBER SPA SPECIAL
Spend $100 in product or buy a $100 gift card and you’ll receive a voucher for $25 to use between 1/2/18 and 3/31/18.
Purchase gift cards
for Circling Raven or Coeur d’Alene Casino Resort Hotel amenities at CDACasino.com/circling-raven-gift-cards
om and Dad are tough, even tougher when they’ve started winding down. Give them a chance to either branch out, become an expert, better themselves or retool their roost.
PAINT IN MY HAIR CLASS
Now that there’s less space getting taken up — or a fresh palette if they’ve downsized — refinishing the nest is a must. The folks at Paint In My Hair know a thing or two about home décor. The shop features not only nice refinished items, but also a class teaching aspiring fixer-uppers how to restore that one thing they thrifted/bought at a yard sale and left to get dusty. They also offer the class supplies for their projects. Personally speaking, I can’t think of a better gift for a crafty mom with some newfound free time. $65 • Paint In My Hair • 3036 N. Monroe
DANCE LESSONS
Give the parents something to do after dinner during the week, while also giving them a little bit of exercise. Satori offers tango, bachata and salsa classes throughout the week and classes are $10 a night, or you can buy a month’s worth for $30. Plus, Fridays and Saturdays offer a chance for the dancers to show-off what they’ve learned. $10-$30 • Satori • 122 S. Monroe
BARRISTER WINE CLUB
12 DAYS of Spa
December 12-24 Specials may be enjoyed on any one of the “12 Days of Spa.” All services must be prebooked.
All wineries have clubs, but during the spring and fall, Barrister offers a tasting club membership, which includes two pre-release wines and a wine only available through the club. The folks at Barrister also offer a food pairing recipe created and contributed by chefs from around the Spokane area, and access to “members only” events throughout the year. Around $115 • Barrister Winery • 1213 W. Railroad
NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH BEETHOVEN’S NINTH
I can’t think of a better scene to end this cacophonous year than a New Year’s Eve concert put on by the highly talented Spokane Symphony. A great way for people to find some culture during the holiday season, the night boasts the opus of Beethoven’s work. The night closes on “Ode to Joy,” a jubilant hymn to the human experience. $18-52• TicketsWest • http://bit.ly/2Azji9Q n
1 800 523-2464 | CDACASINO.COM |
Worley, Idaho | 25 miles south of Coeur d’Alene
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 39
Gift Guide E. Trent) also serves to support Crosswalk and other programs in the Inland Northwest. Crosswalk Teen Shelter • 525 W. Second • voaspokane.org/crosswalk • 838- 6596
SALISH SCHOOL OF SPOKANE
The Salish School of Spokane dedicates much of its work to the preservation of the Interior Salish Languages, which were listed under UNESCO’S list of critically endangered languages. After racially charged vandalism impacted the school this past year, it is an appropriate time to show your support for the cultural diversity that the Salish School offers the region. The school offers language immersion and community language classes free of charge three days a week; they also run the Native American Youth Mentor Program geared to training Native American youths to act as mentors to elementary school students. Financial donations are the biggest need for this nonprofit, but they also have an ongoing need for new books for preschool and elementary school students, as well as art supplies like colored construction paper, tempera paint and washable markers. Salish School of Spokane • 4125 N. Maple • salishschoolofspokane.org •325-2018
Consider ways you can pay it forward this holiday season, including gifts to the Spokane Edible Tree Project.
YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
Gifts for
Do-Good Organizations B
By Jason Still
een naughty for most of the year? Consider giving a little something to these local nonprofits. If nothing else, it’s a deposit in the good karma bank, and it may convince the old fellow that you’re one of the nice guys.
SPOKANE EDIBLE TREE PROJECT
With community food security in mind, this nonprofit’s aim is to nurture and harvest otherwise unwanted fruit and nuts from urban trees that thrive in our area. To assist in accessing this natural bounty, residents of the Inland Northwest can register trees, public or private, for harvest consideration on Spokane Edible Tree Project’s website. Monetary donations or the volunteering of your time are always appreciated. Also, consider contributing to the group’s seasonal wish list which includes pruning tools, 5-gallon buckets, orchard ladders, gas gift cards, and water jugs and coolers. For contributions of physical items, it’s best to call ahead or email info@spokaneedibletreeproject.org. Spokane Edible Tree Project • 25 W. Main, # 44 • spokaneedibletreeproject.org • 208-2890
SCRAPS HOPE FOUNDATION
The SCRAPS Hope Foundation is one of many local organizations helping out furry friends who are in need, especially during these cold winter months. This dynamic foundation offers a myriad of services such a food bank for pets, free dog-training classes, medical treatment, and rehabilitation and placement of abandoned and abused animals. You can be a Santa for all these critters by providing donations of dog and cat treats, animal toys, and quality dog or cat food — there’s a wishlist on their website. Of course, there’s always monetary help, which funds medical treatment for animals in need. Item donation can be made at SCRAPS’ main facility. Spokane County Regional Animal Protection Services • 6815 E. Trent • bit.ly/2imuGie • 477-2532
NAMI SPOKANE
The National Alliance on Mental Illness Spokane chapter is an
40 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
all-volunteer organization providing support for individuals living with mental illness and their families. NAMI’s efforts are focused on advocacy, providing a voice to the afflicted, and improving the lives of clients through volunteer-supported programs. The organization also hosts events to encourage community engagement and outreach, and to raise funds for its support programs. NAMI Spokane’s grassroots programs are supported best by becoming a member, or by financial contributions. National Alliance on Mental Illness Spokane • 10 N. Post, Suite 638 • namispokane.org • 838-5515
GLOBAL NEIGHBORHOOD
Spokane is growing, and so is the population of refugees from the war-torn ends of the earth. The Global Neighborhood Thrift Store offers refugees opportunities aimed at helping them adjust to their new lives — including job training and paid work with flexible schedules for attending ESL classes. Contributions of household items, gently used clothing, books, and furniture can be made to Global Village Thrift or by pick up at your household for large items. Global Neighborhood Thrift Store • 902 W. Indiana • globalneighborhood.org • 868-0001
CROSSWALK TEEN SHELTER
Established in 1985, this dropout prevention program and youth emergency shelter has served Spokane’s at-risk youth 365 days a year ever since. Many kids who are guided by Crosswalk’s professional staff arrive with histories involving substance or sexual abuse, are in the midst of familial conflicts, or are at high risk for depression and suicide. Crosswalk’s many services include medical and mental health care, family reconciliation services, tutoring and enrichment activities, and job placement assistance. There are numerous opportunities to assist Crosswalk and the youth relying on their services. Preparing a meal in a commercial kitchen and donating it to the facility is a huge support; ingredients can also be donated for the staff to prepare and serve. Contributing household items to their affiliate Volunteers of America Thrift Store (6206
AMERICAN CHILDHOOD CANCER ORGANIZATION INLAND NORTHWEST
Childhood cancer takes a toll on a family. And in such trying times the ACCO is committed to supporting kids and their families by offering an emotional and practical support system. The organization works with families from all over Eastern Washington as well as those traveling from Idaho and Montana. Donations of time are important with openings for many talents. A complete wish list for practical items needed to create “new patient bags” and “emergency overnight bags” is available on the website. American Childhood Cancer Organization Inland Northwest • 3021 S. Regal #104 • acco.org/inlandnw/ • 443-4162
LANDS COUNCIL
The Lands Council nonprofit strives to protect the forests, waterways and natural ecosystems of the Inland Northwest to preserve the ecological balance of our beautiful region. Aside from their work out in the field, they also engage in community outreach focusing on environmental education and even work with the incarcerated, teaching classes on green jobs and environmental literacy. There are a myriad of ways to offer your support, from monetary donations to shopping on Amazonsmile, which will donate .5 percent of the purchase price of an item to the Lands Council when it’s selected as the beneficiary. Gently used equipment such as shovels, picks and gardening tools are also welcome donations. Arrangements for physical donations should be made ahead of time. Lands Council • 25 W. Main #222 • landscouncil.org • 838-4912
LUTHERAN COMMUNITY SERVICES NW
As victim advocates for survivors of sexual assault and trauma, Lutheran Community Services provides help to those who need it most. Offering crisis response assistance on the telephone hotline or in-person at hospitals, the nonprofit works with both adults and children who find themselves in traumatic circumstances. There are many ways to help. Visit their website to offer your time or monetary support; there’s also Amazon wish list at http://amzn. to/2j3qYHg featuring needed clothing items like T-shirts, bras, underwear and socks. Lutheran Community Services NW • 210 W. Sprague • lcsnw.org/Spokane/index.html • 747-8224
FAMILY PROMISE
Family Promise offers four programs to assist homeless families. The Neighbors program provides rental assistance for families in crisis; Open Doors is a family day emergency shelter open from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm. The Bridges program works in conjunction with numerous churches to help families transition from homelessness to homes, and Village offers support for newly housed families. A complete wish-list can be found on their website. Among needed items are laptops for job searches, household items such as toilet paper and cleaning supplies, and basic foods — sugar, milk, butter and eggs. Family Promise of Spokane • 904 E. Hartson • familypromiseofspokane.org • 747-5487 n
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 41
DEC
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DEC
10 DEC
11 DEC
15 DEC
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30 FEB
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SUPER SUCKERS, THE BELL RAYS AND THE BOMB POPS The Pin!: 7:00pm - Midnight / Tickets: $18
t Plan Your Nex ENCtE ! PlanE XYou PErRINex EXPERIENCE !
Upcoming Events
New Year, New Career Massage Therapy Certification Program
CHRIST KITCHEN’S 13TH ANNUAL GINGERBREAD BUILD OFF Davenport Grand Hotel: 10:00am - 4:00pm / Tickets: $7
DIY PALLET SLED CLASS
with Cra Cra Crafts at Brews on Barker: 6:00pm / Tickets: $45
DIY PALLET PAINTING CLASS
with Cra Cra Crafts at Spice Trader Mercantile: 6:30pm - 9:30pm / Tickets: $45
TRADITIONS OF CHRISTMAS
Alpha Omega Tours and Charters: Tickets: $89
PRE-HANGOVER SNOW RALLY
Spokane County Raceway: 9:00am - 5:00pm / Tickets: $12 - $40
DEAD POET & WILD CARD The Pin!: 8:00pm / Tickets: $15
MML Racing Photography ©2017
Average income $38K - $58K per year Next schedule starts Feb 6, 2018 Enroll by Dec 15th for FREE Registration Ask about our Tuition Credit Program
JR. LIVESTOCK SHOW OF SPOKANE BENEFIT DINNER & AUCTION Spokane County Fair & Expo Center: 4:30pm - 11:30pm / Tickets: $40 - $350
BUY YOUR TICKETS ONLINE AT
NORTHWESTTICKETS.COM
42 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
Call Now! 208.773.5890
4365 Inverness Dr., Post Falls, ID ï www.aicm.edu
Lilac City Live! hosts Sean Glasow (left) and Ryan Dean Tucker. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
PERFORMANCE
EVERYBODY’S TALKIN’ Lilac City Live! brings Spokane its own talk show in the downtown library’s new performance space BY DAN NAILEN
R
yan Dean Tucker is no stranger to the talk-show game. Besides being an avid TV fan, he put together a live show called Beat City U.S.A. a couple of years back that focused on Spokane’s music, art and comedy communities. Given that experience, it made sense that Jason Johnson, the downtown library’s community engagement manager, would think of Tucker when Johnson hatched a plan for a new talk-show-style production for live audiences. The library show would focus attention
on the city’s creative and nonprofit communities. And if the show also drew some attention to the swank new performance space called the Community Lens that the library recently installed, all the better. Even though Tucker stays plenty busy creatively between singing for Nat Park and the Tunnels of Love and constructing logistically near-impossible performances of things like Seinfeld episodes or an upcoming one-man version of Die Hard, Johnson’s idea for what is now Lilac City Live! was instantly appealing to Tucker. He and his
Beat City co-host/sidekick Sean Glasow always figured there might be a chance to do a talk show again — just not necessarily on the scale of Lilac City Live! “Occasionally we’d talk and be like, ‘Hey, it would be funny to do this sketch!’” Tucker says. “But we didn’t really have a platform.” Now they do, thanks to Johnson’s vision for what the downtown library can be. “I took this job downtown about a year and a half ...continued on next page
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 43
CULTURE | PERFORMANCE The Inlander’s Top 5 events for the weekend - delivered to your inbox every Friday
“EVERYBODY’S TALKIN’,” CONTINUED... ago,” Johnson says, “and I really wanted to transform the downtown library into more of a cultural anchor and community destination. We have this giant beautiful building right downtown, and just by the nature of it, it’s not going to function as a neighborhood library does. I want to have big things happen here.”
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DECEMBER 31st Downtown Spokane
Buttons On Sale Now! Presented by
Online & all Global locations FirstNightSpokane.org
FAMILY FRIENDLY & 21+ VENUES Kids Night Out
Live Music, Dancing & Activities Live Music
Featuring Sammy Eubanks, The Rub, Tuxedo Junction, the Ryan Larson Band & More Blue Door Theater Group
Teen Dance Party Swinging in the New Year
Dance Competition - Big Band & Country - $1000 Grand Prize
The best improv show in town, Rise Up performances on the hour Film Festival Vote for your favorite short film all produced with the theme ‘Be a Hero’
Midnight Fireworks Spectacular Pick up the official event guide in the December 21st edition of
44 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
ohnson’s vision has already been put in play thanks to First Friday concerts at the library and a steady stream of events on the new stage since it opened Oct. 17, most prominently the World Poetry Slam. He’s hoping the monthly Lilac City Live! will spur people to check out the space and envision their own organizations using it. When he first started at his job, he was brainstorming about ways to showcase artists “and people who work for cool nonprofits, or people doing cool stuff in entrepreneurial areas.” A talk show seemed like the best format for bringing all those elements together. Now that Lilac City Live! is a week away, Johnson has confidence in its success. “It will quickly become our flagship event that happens downtown,” Johnson says of the shows happening in the 340-capacity space. “It will probably bleed out into other types of events we do down here. That stage we built, that’s what it’s for — to showcase Spokane.”
“I really wanted to transform the downtown library into more of a cultural anchor and community destination.”
H
ere’s what we know to expect from Lilac City Live! when it debuts on the Community Lens stage Dec. 14: There will be a monologue, delivered by Tucker and no doubt informed by his banter with Glasow. There will be guests; the first episode features author Sharma Shields, musician Marshall McLean, comedian Ryan McComb and artist Amber Hoit. There will be sketches, both live and filmed. Other than that, the show will evolve through monthly performances and coordination between Johnson and the two co-hosts. Tucker and Glasow are excited at the possibilities the library allows, particularly in booking some of the community’s prominent citizenry alongside some quirky characters who bring Spokane to life. Asked to consider any talk shows they might take inspiration from, the duo lists everything from traditional old-school classics like Ed Sullivan or David Letterman to more modern fare like The Chris Gethard Show. “Depending on the age demographic I’m talking to, I’ll be the Ed McMahon [The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson] or Reggie Watts [Comedy Bang! Bang!],” Glasow says. Johnson and the hosts all believe Spokane has enough going on culturally to sustain the show well into the future. And that’s exactly the plan. “We’re kind of in the mix of becoming that booming city that we’ve talked about becoming for like 15 years,” Tucker says. n Lilac City Live! with Sharma Shields, Marshall McLean, Ryan McComb and Amanda Hoit • Thu, Dec. 14 • 7 pm cash bar/8 pm show • free • all-ages • Downtown Spokane Public Library 3rd Floor • 906 W. Main • spokanelibrary.org/downtown
LIVE, ON TAPE, IT’S JARED MUNSON From Fallon to Colbert, Kimmel to Corden, you won’t find most talkshow hosts in their studio on a Friday night. But when you’re in Spokane and putting together your own localized program using the Community-Minded Television studios tucked behind a gym on West Third Avenue, Friday night is prime production time. The bright lights illuminating a spartan set are the only indication from the street that anything creative is going on. Walk inside, though, and you quickly see all the accouterments of a big-time television chat show — a house band in the corner (Weekends Only, a project of Kaylee Goins and Eli Dyer), a few cameras, a couple swiveling bar stools in lieu of the traditional host’s desk, even a small studio audience. It’s early December and the inaugural filming of Hey, What’s Up With Jared Munson?, the brainchild of the Spokane comedian and his on-air sidekick/lead writer Jason Komm. Munson, Inlander readers’ choice as the region’s Best Comedian earlier this year, sees the show as an opportunity to showcase talented people in Spokane (comedian Harry J. Riley and podcast host/photographer Nick Spanjer are guests on the first show) as well as folks doing good in the community. “The interviews, they’re a cross between daytime talk shows and nighttime shows,” Munson says. Tonight, the first-show jitters are hard to see as Munson delivers a monologue touching on Rachel Dolezal and Thanksgiving, although he and Komm do have to run a couple of times through a gag of Robert Mueller investigation jokes sung to “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Even with that hiccup, their banter is unforced, and the band chimes in creatively and with some good jokes of their own. Hey, What’s Up With Jared Munson? is a work in progress, and the comedian hopes to shop it around to local TV stations and digital outlets. The first two episodes need to be edited into shape, and he’d like to add a desk in place of his swivel chair by the time they film a digital-focused episode in early January. “That’s pretty traditional, and I’m a big fan of tradition,” Munson says. That might be true of the look and feel of the show, but the DIY creation behind the scenes is anything but. — DAN NAILEN Follow Jared Munson at Facebook. com/jaredmunsoncomedian for updates on when Hey, What’s Up With Jared Munson? will air.
CULTURE | DIGEST
THE INFAMOUS RACHEL Rachel Dolezal — the local white woman turned black NAACP leader and former freelance Inlander commentator — is taking another quick stroll through the limelight. For starters, Dolezal has an entire chapter devoted to her “blackface” in the new tome Bunk, a historical look at phonies and fake news that’s been longlisted for the National Book Award. As author Kevin Young writes, “She wears the mask not to hide but to gain authority over the very thing she claims to want to be. How very white of her!” Dolezal is also out, in time for Christmas, with 2018 calendars featuring photos of herself alongside inspirational quotes, including this chestnut: “Living in full color means stepping outside the boxes prescribed by society & following the nature of your soul.” (JACOB H. FRIES)
Oh Hi, Tommy! BY NATHAN WEINBENDER
I
’ve sat through The Room more times than I’ve seen many more important films. It never gets old. That the story of its making has now been fictionalized in the acclaimed comedy The Disaster Artist (see our review on page 52) proves other people are as morbidly fascinated by it as I am. Tommy Wiseau’s 2003 film (pictured), which he wrote, directed and starred in, is generally regarded as one of the worst ever made, and it is really, truly, inarguably awful. But The Room is no ordinary shitty movie. Its incompetencies are all its own. There’s a purity to its badness. It seems to have been beamed down from another universe entirely, one that has no other movies
THE BUZZ BIN
THE MUSIC OF PYRE Few video games take advantage of background music as deftly as the Supergiant Games, the creator of such indie hits as Bastion and Transistor. But never has that been more clear than with Supergiant’s latest effort, Pyre. Pyre’s set in a Hunger Games-like world, where exiles compete for a chance of freedom through a strange series of freeze-tag-meets-basketball tournaments. The music is mostly riveting and beautiful instrumental numbers. But during each final match, vocals join the orchestra, singing an epic story of perseverance and valor. The best part? The musical style and lyrics change depending on which team you’re facing, and whether they’re winning. (DANIEL WALTERS)
in it. As accidentally enthralling as it is unintentionally funny, it’s a shoddily-made romantic drama that also serves as a glimpse inside the addled id of its creator. I don’t want to make watching it sound like some kind of academic exercise: You laugh at The Room for all of the obvious, Mystery Science Theater-esque reasons. Its sense of earnestness is wildly misplaced. The characters are hilariously inconsistent, changing motivations and temperaments at random. Whole scenes repeat themselves; subplots are introduced and then dropped instantly. The acting is wooden and the dialogue is basically gibberish. Its gender politics are so toxic they’re cartoonish. But what makes it stand apart is the wannabe genius at its helm. Like Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space before it, The Room has become shorthand for cinematic ineptitude, and yet it has been made with the conviction that it is very, very important. Great art is driven by a personal vision, and by the artist’s need to express it. Wiseau has a vision, to be sure, but he has no idea how to get it up on the screen in a coherent fashion, or even what, exactly, he’s trying to communicate. That Wiseau would eventually backtrack and claim The Room was intended as comedy all along is proof that its status as a so-bad-it’s-good cult curiosity wounded him. He doesn’t want to appear as though he took it all seriously, but it’s clear that Wiseau’s only (so far) directorial feature was meant to announce the arrival of a major new filmmaker. That makes it all the more inexplicable. Most bad movies are simply boring or lazy. The Room is alive with its own badness. n
OMNIVOROUS CHAT Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings and Long Winters frontman/Seattle raconteur John Roderick are both highly entertaining characters. Put them together with a microphone, nerding out on subjects bizarre and arcane, as new podcast Omnibus (debuting Dec. 7) does, and you have the opportunity for some serious headphone enlightenment. They call it “a monument to strange and obscure human knowledge” they feel needs preserving before civilization as we know it ends — and that might be coming faster than any of us want to think about. (DAN NAILEN)
ON THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST Some noteworthy new music arrives online and in stores Dec. 8. To wit: JIM JAMES, Tribute to 2. My Morning Jacket’s frontman showcases his eclectic tastes in a covers set including tunes from Brian Wilson, Sonny & Cher and (believe it or not) Emerson, Lake & Palmer. BELLE & SEBASTIAN, How To Solve Our Human Problems (Part 1). A five-song EP of the Scots’ winning folk-pop, just in time for Christmas stocking-stuffing. It’s a tease to a new full-length arriving in February. CHRIS THILE, Thanks for Listening. The MacArthur genius, wicked mandolin player and “new” host of The Show Formerly Known As A Prairie Home Companion collects studio recordings of a bunch of songs written for the radio show over the past 18 months. LUKE BRYAN, What Makes You Country. I don’t know for sure that Luke Bryan qualifies as “bro-country,” but I do know there are songs on this new album called “Light It Up,” “Drinking Again” and “She’s A Hot One.” (DAN NAILEN) BREWERY REFRESH Spokane’s River City Brewing is closing the doors to its downtown taproom on Dec. 30. The brewery announced the major transition last Friday. With its 2013 opening, the taproom was not part of the original plans for the brewery. It will continue to use the space for First Friday events, special releases and “garage parties.” River City will also be reworking the lineup of its staple beers and phase out old brands. Until it closes, all pints are $2.50 and all growler fills are $10. (DEREK HARRISON)
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 45
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CULTURE | THEATER
December 27 & 28 • 7PM J.P. O’Shaughnessy as Sigmund Freud and Dalin Tipton as C.S. Lewis.
Ho Gre lida at yG ifts
“Their sound, though, is what’s truly sexy. The cluster of high voices generates pure electricity...”
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God on the Couch Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis spar over the existence of God in Freud’s Last Session
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T
he question of whether or not God exists is as old as the concept of God itself. And yet, much like love or injustice, it’s a subject we never seem to exhaust no matter how many times it’s taken up in song, poetry, prose, theater, visual art or film. Freud’s Last Session, which opened last Friday at Stage Left as a replacement for the previously scheduled Galileo, pits two intellectual heavyweights against one another in the continued debate over God’s existence. In this corner, Sigismund Schlomo Freud, the Headshrinker from Vienna, who maintains that theistic beliefs are just the result of atavistic unconscious desires. And in this corner, Clive Staples “Jack” Lewis, the Chronicler of Narnia himself, an erstwhile apostate who was persuaded to re-embrace Christianity by his colleague and fellow Inkling, none other than J.R.R. Tolkien. Mark St. Germain’s 2009 off-Broadway play imagines Lewis and Freud meeting at the latter’s home in London on Sept. 3, 1939, the day the United Kingdom and France officially declared war on Nazi-led Germany. Freud is 83, preeminent in his field, but dying of painful cancer of the mouth. Lewis is 40 and a respected Oxford don, though still years away from publishing his most enduring work. “The thing that I find most interesting about this fictitious meeting is the fact that Freud is at the end of his life,” explains Pamela Kingsley, who’s directing this three-weekend run of Freud’s Last Session. “He’s gone through the loss of several family members, a daughter that he loved very much, his grandson, and had to flee his beloved homeland because of Hitler. He’s getting ready to die.”
LARRY WOOLEY PHOTO
As Freud contemplates his own mortality, he’s compelled to debate this abiding metaphysical question with a sparring partner who’s up to the task. So the famous exile invites Lewis to his study for an exercise that’s more deathbed conversation than deathbed conversion. But why C.S. Lewis in particular? “Lewis had been an atheist and did a 180-degree flip and became a dogged Christian. Back then they called them ‘Christian apologists,’ and he would go out and stump for Christianity,” Kingsley says. Even if Freud’s personal circumstances weren’t a factor, the play’s setting on the eve of war would be enough to prompt philosophical and theological discussion along these same lines. The prospect of all-out global conflict just 20 years after the War to End All Wars led to serious reflection at the time and feeds into the conversation between the two. “There are air raids that go off. We hear Neville Chamberlain announcing that they’re entering the war. We hear from King George. Throughout there’s a BBC announcer. So the backdrop is a moment in history where a certain part of the world didn’t know if they would survive, and there are moments when C.S. Lewis has to say, ‘I don’t know why God would do this.’ And so the debate is very real.” Given what audiences now know of World War II and its tragic legacy of genocide, mass brutality and nuclear destruction, the questions are perhaps even more poignant. At the same time, Kingsley says that “there’s a lot of humor” in Freud’s Last Session — with jokes being, as Freud himself argued, a way to say the unsayable. “That makes the really dramatic moments really sing,” she says, as does the “intimacy” of Stage Left and the “chemistry” between actors J.P. O’Shaughnessy (Freud) and Dalin Tipton (Lewis). “What I was looking for was an old lion and a young lion who could go head to head,” she says. “These two are actors who really can do it.” Unlike the war that serves as its backdrop, however, Kingsley says that the emotional tête-àtête in Freud’s Last Session isn’t about who wins. “It ends with a joke, and it’s quite a wonderful joke too.” n Freud’s Last Session • Through Dec. 17 • FriSat, 7:30 pm; Sun, 2 pm • $20 • Stage Left Theater • 108 W 3rd Ave. • spokanestageleft. org • 838-9727
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Richard Hodge demonstrates how to make sausage.
YOUNG KWAK PHOTOS
COOKING
Preservation Society A look at how a few local charcuterie experts got into the art and science of preserving meat BY CARRIE SCOZZARO
F
rom September to the following spring, Richard Hodge is elbows-deep in ground meat and hog casings, sharing his time-honed knowledge with students of all ages and backgrounds. “People are getting into doing their own foods these days,” says Hodge, who has taught beginning sausagemaking for 15 of his 26 years at Michlitch Spice Co. in Spokane’s East Central neighborhood. A fair amount of commercially prepared sausage, he says, has a whole lot of words people can’t pronounce,
48 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
and “people want to know what’s in their food.” Hodge first taught the class through Spokane Community College, then moved it to Michlitch, which sells equipment, spices, and other goods to not only make sausage, but also rubs, brines and seasonings, such as those used in making ham, bacon or jerky. Humans, says Hodge, “were making dried meat, probably since the beginning of time.” The ability to preserve meat was a significant achievement in the development of civilizations, according to
the North American Meat Institute. It allowed humans to safeguard against loss and be more mobile for longer periods. Preserved meat also became a commodity in trade and has, over the years, become a culinary tradition all its own.
F
or many Spokane residents, when thinking of preserved meats, Santé Restaurant & Charcuterie first comes to mind. Since 2008, award-winning Chef Jeremy Hansen’s charcuterie has distinguished itself
Hodge teaches how to make a breakfast sausage during a recent beginner’s class hosted by Second Harvest Food Bank. for its nose-to-tail approach and elevation of local farmers and ranchers, like the Spokane Hutterian Brethren, Ramstead Ranch and Lostine Cattle Company. At any given time, Santé is stocked with from-scratch sausage and other cured meats overseen by Chef Peter Adams for the past twoand-a-half years, and also recently by Chef Tyler Shales. Charcuterie is a lot of work, says Adams: “Definitely, there’s a lost art to it, but a lot of it comes from experience.” Preservation techniques represented at Santé are just a small sampling of the processes that can be employed to alter the flavor, texture and shelf life of meat. There are three main classifications of preservation: sausage, cured, and restructured meat, such as pressed ham or chicken loaf. Another way of discussing meat preservation is the type of meat — pork features prominently, as well as beef and even wild game — or the cut. Pancetta and bacon, for example, come from pork belly, while guanciale is the jowl. Santé’s chefs use every part, says Adams. “Doing whole animal butchery [at Santé], it just makes the most sense to,” he adds. Preserved meats may also R E S TA U R A N T be classified FINDER according to Looking for a new place to preservation eat? Search the region’s technique, such most comprehensive bar as smoked, and restaurant guide at dried or Inlander.com/places. canned. Curing imparts flavor and can even eliminate the need for refrigeration. Santé makes traditional ham, Italian coppa (or capocolla) through wet-curing, and as salumi — including salami, lardo, fennel salumi, soppressata and Louisiana-style tasso ham — through dry-curing. They also make kielbasa and chorizo sausage; pastrami (usually beef that is seasoned, brined, smoked and then steamed); and pâté, primarily featuring liver, also including the more
rustic, chunkier pâté de campagne. “We have a bunch of different styles and recipes we can use, and it just depends on the season,” says Adams. Summer, for example, means summer sausage, duck terrine, and more fresh herbs. It isn’t as much about preservation as it is flavor, says Adams.
R
ecreating the flavors of his youth was a key motivating factor for Coeur d’Alene resident and avid home cook Ben Drake, also Pita Pit’s vice president of branded product and growth. “Whenever I think of a culture, I think of [their] food,” says Drake, who lived in Germany as a high school student and never quite got over the travel bug… or his memories of German sausage. After earning his B.S. in marketing at the University of Idaho, Drake moved to Seattle, donned a suit and tie for two years, then chucked the corporate life to travel the world, with trips to Asia, Africa, South America, Europe and India. Drake’s first sausage-making attempt was kielbasa from Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking, and Curing by Michael Ruhlman. His wife, Jennifer, gave him the book, As he gained confidence and better understood important components like meat-to-fat ratio and texture, Drake experimented with new combinations: bratwurst, cheddarwurst with Beecher’s Flagship cheddar cheese, pesto chicken, a Guinness beer-and-short-rib sausage. This fall, the Drakes put on an event called Blocktoberfest, dressing up in German garb and cooking up 55 pounds of sausage for friends and family. With 2-, 4- and 7-year-olds, as well as a busy work schedule, Drake’s major traveling is on hiatus, as are his plans to go commercial. Although he’s had offers to do so, he’s in no rush. The self-taught sausage expert is also working on vegetarian/vegan sausages and a few other recipes of his own. And for his kids, he says, “I want to figure out and perfect a delicious hot dog.” n food@inlander.com
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FOOD | OPENING
What’s in a Name? Chef Angelo Brunson opens his second Italian restaurant in Coeur d’Alene’s Riverstone BY CARRIE SCOZZARO
C
hef Angelo Brunson has stayed close to home when figuring out what to name his restaurants. Angelo’s Ristorante on Fourth Street obviously is self-named, and the recently opened Martino Tuscan Grill is an adaptation of Brunson’s middle name, Martinio, and his nickname, Martini. Although the restaurant’s name references Tuscany, a central Italian region including coastal areas, sweeping hillsides, and the famed province of Florence, the menu is a broad-based assortment of classics. The veal chop Fiorentina ($44), for example, with marinated and grilled rosemary, garlic and caramelized apples, hails from Florence, yet the spicy linguini alla puttanesca ($13) is from Naples, while the chicken Milanese ($15) originated in Milan. Also on the menu is cannoli ($9), fried pastry dough formed into a cylinder with a
Martino Tuscan Grill serves up regional Italian fare in Coeur d’Alene’s Riverstone development. delicate yet rich ricotta-based filling, which originated in Sicily. In addition to its rich and diverse culinary heritage, a sense of Italy’s physical landscape is represented throughout the restaurant, which is now unrecognizable as the former Rivelle’s River Grill. The gorgeous mahogany bar is still present, yet darker woods, leather seating and teal linens are new, as is the mural of a quaint Italian town prominent on the east wall. Close to a movie theater and popular summer concert venue, Martino Tuscan Grill is an ideal place for a glass of wine or beer and appetizer, like red Dungeness crab cakes ($16) or the cured salmon crostini ($12). For lunch, try the wild sockeye salmon primavera with spring vegetables and lemon basil butter sauce ($16)
BRETT FONTANA PHOTO
or the light, yet filling, potato gnocchi in a creamy roasted red pepper sauce ($15). Brunson and his head chef, Jeremy Regnere, recommend the pollo al foresta for dinner — a grilled chicken, flamed with Tuaca (an Italian brandy liqueur) and served with wild mushrooms ($26) — as well as the spiedino de mare, grilled prawns and sea scallops on a bed of mussels and clams ($35). With a busy restaurant already to his credit, why would Brunson want to open another? “Riverstone really needed an Italian restaurant, and it’s really such an excellent area,” he says. n Martino Tuscan Grill • 2360 N. Old Mill Loop, Coeur d’Alene • Open Mon from 11 am-3 pm; Tue-Sat from 11 am-10 pm • martinotuscangrill.com • 208-930-1464
13th Annual Gingerbread Buildoff
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 10TH at the Davenport GRAND HOTEL
(333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd - across from Convention Center)
Doors open at 10am | Free Admission!
CHEF COMPETITION 10am-1pm
Professional culinary teams build beautiful gingerbread structures in a thrilling competition!
FAMILY ACTIVITIES 10am - 4pm Decorate your own mini-Gingerbread House ($7) take a photo with the Gingerbread Man and Woman and participate in amazing raffle opportunities! All proceeds off this event benefit Christ Kitchen, a 100% local non-profit ministry; find out more at www.christkitchen.org
Presented by:
50 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
Sponsored in part by:
Moody Radio, Davenport Todd Conley Photography Cyrus OʼLearyʼs, Burkes Candy, Shepherds Grain
FOOD | REBRAND
Fresh Start A longtime restaurant in downtown Spokane is reborn under new ownership and with a new name BY CHEY SCOTT
M
ichael Wiley was so over the unfortunate comparisons of his restaurant with the popular shampoo brand that happened to share its name. But that won’t happen anymore, since the new owner of the former Herbal Essence Cafe recently rebranded and reinvigorated the longtime downtown Spokane dining spot, now called Wiley’s Downtown Bistro. “The name of the restaurant has been the bane since day one,” Wiley emphasizes, adding that Herbal Essence first opened in 2000, and had kept that name through previous changes in ownership. New signage with the Wiley’s Downtown Bistro name and logo went up last month, though the restaurant has been operating continuously since Wiley took over ownership in February, and also while projects to spruce up the space and menu were underway.
The hummus plate appetizer at Wiley’s. Wiley has more than two decades of experience in the regional hospitality industry, including stints at Latah Bistro, Churchill’s and the Spokane Club, but says he’s always wanted to have his own place. “I’ve been trying to get my own business up and running for the last three years, but met obstacles and failures and
one major disaster before the opportunity to purchase Herbal Essence came up,” he explains. Since being handed the keys, Wiley has completed several remodeling projects in the space, including the removal of an awkwardly-placed divider wall in the front of the dining room that blocked the view out of its street-facing windows. The back bar has also been entirely rebuilt, in addition to other aesthetic upgrades made throughout the dining room. A fair portion of the menu from the restaurant’s previous iteration, however, has remained. “If people come back for it, does it need to be changed? No,” Wiley says. “But one thing I found in my history is that sometimes doing fewer things better is a more favorable approach. Our kitchen is the size of a closet, so to do a 40-50 item menu, that led to some disorganization.” Wiley’s more streamlined menu offers familiar European-American bistro fare such as soups, salads ($8-$15), sandwiches ($12-$14) and wraps ($10-$12) for lunch. Dinner offers a selection of the former dishes, in addition to entrées like prawn linguini ($19), salmon ($26), braised short ribs ($24) and other surf or turf plates with vegetable-based sides. The restaurant also features a full bar, and variety of shareable starters like hummus, eggrolls, baked brie and smoked mozzarella on
baguettes. (Happy hour runs weekdays, from 4-6 pm.) Other changes to the menu are seen in the addition of more gluten-free and vegan/vegetarian options. Wiley also undertook a major review of the restaurant’s ingredient sourcing to focus more on fresh, seasonal and locally available items. Another change that comes with Wiley at the helm is the restaurant’s continuous hours of operation from lunch time through until dinner. He’s also been regularly showcasing local artists’ work on the restaurant’s walls. “We have a commitment to the community, and I’m a big fan of the arts,” he adds. To attract diners heading to arts and culture events around the downtown core, Wiley has also offered specials like a $33, three-course meal for anyone attending Best of Broadway’s recent run of RENT. “You have to have more than good food and good service,” he summarizes. “We want a good environment and a good drink program, but to also make people happy. That is what it all comes down to.” n Wiley’s Downtown Bistro • 115 N. Washington • Open Mon-Thu from 11 am-9 pm, Fri from 11 am-10 pm and Sat from 5-10 pm • wileysbistro.com or facebook.com/wileysdowntownbistro • 838-4600
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 51
ONE MAN’S TRASH… The Disaster Artist hilariously tells the tale of one of the worst movies ever BY SETH SOMMERFELD
T
he Disaster Artist is the funniest movie of 2017. It’s not even close. But here’s the catch: To fully appreciate its brilliance, you need to subject yourself to watching The Room, one of the worst films of all time. The Room is almost an indescribable film that can only be believed when seen. It’s one of those films that would be tortuous to watch alone, but can be a blast in a group where everyone can constantly pull a Mystery Science Theater 3000 at every “what is happening?!?” moment. (For the smallest taste: There are many love scenes in the first half hour, and some reuse the same footage.) It’s as if someone described the idea of a dramatic love triangle movie to an alien that had never interacted with humans, and then the otherworldly creature made an independent movie. Tommy Wiseau is that alien. As the writer, director, producer and star, The Room is fully Wiseau’s eccentric vision. The Disaster Artist (based on the nonfiction book of the same name) tells the almost unbelievable true story of the making of The Room through the eyes of Greg Sestero, Tommy’s friend and the film’s second lead. As a nervous aspiring actor, Greg (Dave Franco) finds himself enthralled by the performances Tommy (James Franco, who also directs) puts on in their acting class. They’re horrendous, but he’s so unafraid to be over-the-top and just go for it. The oddball pair soon strike up a friendship and move to Los Angeles to pursue their Hollywood dreams. Everything about Tommy is unexplainable — his accent (he claims he’s from Louisiana, but it’s implacably European), his mannerisms, his inability to act normal socially, his real age, where he gets his money (which seems like an endless supply). And the list goes on. There is no one like Tommy Wiseau.
52 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
But Greg stays a loyal friend because they both positively support each other. When the Hollywood system rejects them (especially Tommy), he hatches a plan to make his own movie, and make it his way. And that way turns out to be baffling at every turn: a nonsensical script, shooting on two cameras at once, unnecessary green screen, using a documentary crew to spy on everyone. It’s not that The Disaster Artist doesn’t hold up as its own film independent of The Room, but seeing it without the contextualization would almost be like only watching the last Harry Potter movie — the impact just isn’t the THE DISASTER ARTIST same without understanding the Rated R backstory and Directed by James Franco players involved. Starring James Franco, Dave Franco, There are tons of Seth Rogen moments in The Disaster Artist that aren’t “jokes,” but elicit strong laughs from those who’ve seen The Room because they understand the insanity of the whole situation. In by far the best performance of his career, James Franco fully morphs into Wiseau, and the supporting cast is overloaded with excellent comedic talent (Seth Rogen, Alison Brie, Nathan Fielder, Zac Efron, Paul Scheer, to only name a few), but they’re all there to play the straight men and women to Tommy’s unintentional stooge. Because of The Disaster Artist’s relative grounding, the film manages to make some sincere and compelling points about what
constitutes a creative success. Can a movie actually be considered a failure if it brings immense joy to people, even if unintentionally? The Room is terrible filmmaking, but it’s a cult hit that’s made money and continues to have midnight screenings around the globe because people love to laugh at it. The Oscars are always littered with movies celebrating the magic of moviemaking (from Argo to The Artist to La La Land), but The Disaster Artist posits that navel gazing might be B.S. Instead, it celebrates the act of an audience enjoying a movie. Tommy Wiseau is strange, but then again, life is strange, and The Disaster Artist is strangely brilliant. n
Director and star James Franco
FILM | SHORTS
Thelma
OPENING FILMS THE DISASTER ARTIST
The funniest movie of the year is a behind-the-scenes look at the worst movie of all time. James Franco directs and stars as Tommy Wiseau, the wannabe auteur behind the misguided 2003 curiosity The Room, which became a so-bad-it’s-good cult favorite. This is a hilarious tribute to the original film, but it also has a compelling message about the elusive nature of artistic success. (SS) Rated R
JUST GETTING STARTED
Tommy Lee Jones is a retired F.B.I. agent and Morgan Freeman is a former mob lawyer in the Witness Protection Program who team up to stop a contract killing. Because it’s from Tin Cup director Ron Shelton, the whole thing centers on a golf game for some reason. (NW) Rated PG-13
THE SQUARE
The most recent Palme d’Or winner is a bourgeois satire about an art curator whose latest experiential exhibition is designed to remind viewers of their own inherent benevolence. Because this springs from the mind of Force Majeure director Ruben Östlund, you can bet things won’t go as smoothly as anticipated. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated R
Comes standard with Horizon checking.
THELMA
A college freshman, finally free from her strict religious upbringing, begins a relationship with another young woman on campus and discovers she may possess long-buried powers. The latest from Norwegian director Joachim Trier is part coming-of-age story, part supernatural mystery. (NW) Not Rated
NOW PLAYING
Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn are back as cinema’s most foul-mouthed mothers, and this time they’re throwing the middle finger at the most stressful aspects of the yuletide season. The other new addition to the mix: the bad moms’ moms (Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, Susan Sarandon). (NW) Rated R
COCO
On the eve of Día de los Muertos, 12-year-old Miguel finds himself in the land of the dead, where he discovers he’s descended from a legendary Mexican musician. The latest from Pixar creates a vivid world and then runs around in it, all while conveying a message about the importance of family that actually feels sincere. (ES) Rated PG
DADDY’S HOME 2
A sequel to the 2015 alpha-male comedy in which co-parents Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, having solved their differences from the previous film, come to blows again when their fathers — played by John Lithgow and Mel Gibson (yeah, they’re letting him be in movies again) — come to town for Christmas. (NW) Rated PG-13
THE FLORIDA PROJECT
From Tangerine director Sean Baker comes this vivid snapshot of life in a run-down motel in Orlando, shot on location with a cast of mostly non-actors. Structured as a series of vignettes, it’s a winsome, bittersweet look at a childhood in poverty, following a 6-yearold troublemaker, her single mother and the kindhearted motel manager, played by a reserved Willem Dafoe. At the Magic Lantern. (SS) Rated R
JANE
Documentarian Brett Morgen explores the early life and groundbreaking work of Jane Goodall, whose up-close-andpersonal studies of African chimpanzees had seismic effects on science. Most of the film consists of astonishing, never-before-seen footage shot in the 1960s by nature photographer (and Goodall’s husband) Hugo van Lawick. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG
Federally insured by NCUA
A BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS
JUSTICE LEAGUE
DC’s take on Marvel’s Avengers formula is mostly turgid, with a game cast up against a forgettable villain, mediocre special effects and a bunch ...continued on next page
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 53
NTERN THEAT GIC LA ER MA FRI, DEC 8TH - THURS, DEC 14TH TICKETS: $9 THE FLORIDA PROJECT (105 MIN)
SAT: 6:30 SUN: 12:15 TUE-THU: 6:30
LOVING VINCENT (93 MIN)
FRI-SUN: 4:15 TUE-THU: 4:30
JANE (85 MIN)
FRI-SUN: 2:15
WEEKEND ONLY
THE SQUARE (140 MIN)
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OPENING OF N E W
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FRI/SAT: 7:30 SUN: 12:00PM TUE-THU: 6:15
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NOVITIATE (120 MIN) FRI-SUN: 5:00 TUE-THU: 4:00
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FILM | SHORTS
CRITICS’ SCORECARD NOW PLAYING THE INLANDER
of tacked-on jokes that are only there to remind us they’re not taking things too seriously. A whole lot is going on at all times, and yet nothing of consequence ever seems to happen. (NW) Rated PG-13
LOVING VINCENT
Advertised as the first entirely handpainted feature, the look of this impressionistic animated drama is a thing to behold. Set in the 1890s, a postmaster’s son is sent to deliver a long-lost letter written by the late Vincent van Gogh, only to find himself questioning the circumstances of the influential artist’s suicide. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG-13
THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS
A fictionalized account of the creation of Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol, which became perhaps the definitive yuletide text. Dan Stevens plays the beloved author; Christopher Plummer embodies miser Ebenezer Scrooge. (NW) Rated PG
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
Top of Sunset Hill
DiamondAirportStorage.com
54 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)
76
THE FLORIDA PROJECT
92
LADY BIRD
94
NOVITIATE
73
JUSTICE LEAGUE
46
THOR: RAGNAROK
73
THREE BILLBOARDS
87
DON’T MISS IT
WORTH $10
acter’s comic energy getting a muchneeded jolt from director Taika Waititi. This time around, the God of Thunder learns he has a long-lost sister (Cate Blanchett, snacking on scenery), who casts Thor and Loki off to a prison planet and steals the throne of Asgard. (SS) Rated PG-13
THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI
When her daughter is murdered, an angry mother (Frances McDormand) erects a trio of uncouth billboards calling out the local police department, causing a stir in her tiny town. While the all-star cast delivers emotionally wrenching, award-worthy performances, writer-director Martin McDonagh’s inconsistent script occasionally veers into idiotic absurdity that undercuts the gravity of the drama. (SS)
TITANIC
Wanna feel old? It’s been 20 years since James Cameron’s epic historical romance broke box office records, turned Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet into bona fide movie stars and made it
WATCH IT AT HOME
SKIP IT
so you couldn’t walk five feet without hearing that damn Celine Dion earworm. Now it’s back on the big screen in Dolby-capable cinemas. (NW) Rated PG-13
VICTORIA AND ABDUL
The true story of the unlikely friendship that developed in the late 19th century between the widowed Queen Victoria (Judi Dench, who previously played the monarch in 1997’s Mrs. Brown) and her Indian secretary Abdul Karim (Ali Fazal). From director Stephen Frears (Philomena) and the screenwriter of Billy Elliott. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG-13
WONDER
A little boy with facial deformities (Jacob Tremblay of Room) is sent off to a public school for the first time, with his encouraging parents (Julia Roberts and Owen Wilson) looking on. A sweet and gentle adaptation of R.J. Palacio’s bestselling YA novel that nonetheless bashes you over the head with its already obvious themes and messages. (MJ) Rated PG n
Agatha Christie’s 1934 novel about a homicide on a snowbound train is one of the most famous whodunits ever written, and its second big-budget, star-studded adaptation has Kenneth Branagh behind the camera and front and center as detective extraordinaire Hercule Poirot. The true mystery of the film: Why, exactly, was it made? (MJ) Rated PG-13
NOVITIATE
An exploration of sin and religious discipline set in 1964, when a young woman (Margaret Qualley) begins studying to be a nun and finds her faith tested in unexpected ways. Melissa Leo is a force of nature as the punishing Reverend Mother. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated R
THE STAR
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LADY BIRD
Greta Gerwig’s first foray behind the camera is a funny, observant and empathetic coming-of-age story about a fiercely independent teenage girl finding her true identity in post-9/11 Sacramento. Saoirse Ronan is phenomenal as the title character, as is Laurie Metcalf as the mother she’s often at odds with. A remarkably assured directorial debut. (NW) Rated R
NEW YORK TIMES
This cheap-looking animated film finally answers the question no one has ever asked: What were the animals like at the Nativity? The huge voice cast includes Oprah Winfrey, Mariah Carey and Christopher Plummer. (NW) Rated PG
THOR: RAGNAROK
The third film in the Thor franchise is the best of the bunch, with the char-
Voyeur
NOW STREAMING GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (NETFLIX)
One of Marvel’s more effortlessly entertaining outings takes the studio’s scrappiest intergalactic rebels on a planet-hopping adventure that reveals hero Peter Quill’s unusual origins. Even brighter and funnier than its predecessor, it boasts a surprisingly effective emotional core and a killer soundtrack of retro pop hits. (NW) Rated PG-13
VOYEUR (NETFLIX)
A documentary centered on veteran journalist Gay Talese and his relationship with friend and source Gerald Foos, a Colorado motel owner who spied on his customers for years and logged the behavior he witnessed. An unsettling and sometimes frustrating meditation on memory, truth, fetishism and unanswered questions. (NW) Not Rated
FILM | REVIEW
Frances McDormand seeks closure (and maybe revenge) in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.
I Saw the Signs
Despite strong performances, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’s messaging misses its mark BY SETH SOMMERFELD
G
rief is an overpowering substance. tice in small town America. The unrelenting When mixed with a lack of resoluand unwavering mother cares not about tion and a splash of guilt, it’s a becoming an unseemly social pariah as she poisonous cocktail. publically pressures the town’s beloved Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand) police chief, Bill Willoughby (Woody Harhas chugged the stuff by the gallon ever relson), and irks his bumbling, incompetent since her daughter’s death. and racist underling ofWhile the world seems to ficer Jason Dixon (Sam THREE BILLBOARDS Rockwell). continue on, her anger only OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI intensifies. That is, until she She has no time for Rated R notices three dilapidated appealing to Southern Directed by Martin McDonagh billboards in a rundown field manners if uncouthness Starring Frances McDormand, Woody on a seldom-used road near might somehow yield Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, Peter Dinklage her home. A short trip to the results in the unsolved local ad office later, her mescase that lacks any viasage is clear as it appears on the new bold ble suspects. It matters not that Willoughby red billboards: is a genuinely good officer who didn’t come RAPED WHILE DYING. AND up empty for lack of trying, because the old STILL NO ARRESTS? HOW COME, college try isn’t bringing back her little girl CHIEF WILLOUGHBY? (or at least punishing those who took her). Writer-director Martin McDonagh’s Shaming, threats, illness, malicious dentists, dark dramedy Three Billboards Outside of Ebbdeath, her own son’s pleas — nothing will ing, Missouri follows Mildred’s quest for jusstop her quest. It’s all she has.
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• Picture with Santa!*
Bringing a non-perishable food item or charitable cash donation puts you on Santa’s “Nice” list and gets you a photo! All proceeds benefit The Salvation Army!
Three Billboards provides a platform for its stellar cast to shine, and their performances are the reason to seek out the film. The fiery determination and barely concealed sorrow that McDormand conveys in scene after scene drives the action and the discomfort (it’ll be stunning if she doesn’t get a Best Actress nomination). In an understated turn, Harrelson’s Willoughby serves as the calm, grounding presence for the vitriol and idiocy swirling around him. And that’s all before getting to Caleb Landry Jones’ magnetic and award-worthy supporting role as the too-urban-for-this-podunktown-but-not-quite-sly-enough-to-get-out slickness of billboard salesman Red Welby. But problems arise as a result of McDonagh’s inconsistent script. At times, things are absolutely sublime and humming along with crisp dramatic and cutting comedic dialogue. Mildred’s conversation with the local priest who comes to her house in an attempt to shame her into taking down the billboards (and her ensuing rant on culpability and religious hypocrisy) is as good as anything set to film in 2017. But moments like these get undercut by agonizingly on-the-nose moments and believability-stretching, absurd humor (two words: arson dancing). While the dark comedy strewn throughout the film can pack a punch, it also swings and misses wildly. This is most evident in Dixon. He radiates obliviousness to Dumb and Dumber-level buffoonery, but also apparently has a history of torturing black folks. Rockwell fully commits to the role, but at times seems like a character plucked from another movie. He never feels like an actual person, but more how, from a distance, a UK screenwriter might imagine a stereotypical backwoods cop. Three Billboards wants its audience to both invest emotionally in the realness of its drama and also not take things too seriously when it delves into comic absurdity. That makes the whole package feel a few degrees off. There’s plenty about American law enforcement and small town “morality” that’s worth eviscerating, but Three Billboards fails to hit it in a way that resonates and struggles to locate any sense of authenticity. n
– 9:00am to 12:00pm – MIRABEAU PARK HOTEL GRAND BALLROOM
• Winter Wonderland Brunch Buffet!*
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Purchase tickets at the Mirabeau Park Hotel front desk or at mirabeauparkhotel.com
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 55
POP
EVERLASTING
LOV E
One of the preeminent voices of the 1960s, Darlene Love brings her Christmas show — and a collection of pop classics — to Spokane BY NATHAN WEINBENDER
T
he word “legend” might get thrown around a bit too carelessly these days, but make no mistake: Darlene Love is, without question, a living legend. The beloved vocalist and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee is heading to Spokane with her annual Christmas show, called “Love for the Holidays,” and she talked to the Inlander in the week leading up to the concert about her many accomplishments. At 76, Love is a spirited storyteller, and she still speaks about her past work with the vitality of a performer who’s just starting out. Here are some things to know about Love’s long and prestigious career before she hits the INB next week.
BEFORE SHE WAS AN ICON HERSELF, LOVE BRUSHED ELBOWS WITH OTHER GREATS.
With her vocal group the Blossoms, Love started her career as a teenager in the 1950s, eventually singing alongside the likes of Dionne Warwick, Tom Jones and the Beach Boys. The Blossoms even contributed vocals to the Halloween novelty song “Monster Mash.” But the artists Love says left the biggest impressions are still as relevant now as they were decades ago — Sam Cooke and Elvis Presley. “When I say the coolest, he was the coolest,” Love says of Cooke. “It was his ambience. It was who he was. I came up with him as a gospel singer, so when he turned over to secular music, it was wonderful that I got a chance to work with him.” As for Elvis, the Blossoms performed with him during his hugely popular selftitled TV special in 1968, and Love made
56 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
an uncredited musical appearance in his final narrative film, 1969’s nun-on-the-run curiosity Change of Habit. “He was that star who was untouchable,” Love says. “You looked at him from afar and went, ‘Wow, Elvis!’ When I got a chance to work with him and do movies with him and do his 1968 comeback special, it was like magic.”
SHE ROSE TO PROMINENCE IN THE EARLY ’60S AFTER SIGNING WITZH CONTROVERSIAL PRODUCER PHIL SPECTOR.
Love became a regular contributor to Spector’s lush Wall of Sound productions, first as a back-up singer and then as a lead vocalist. But as was the case with most of the artists Spector regularly worked with, their professional relationship was sometimes tumultuous: In 1962, Love sang lead on the Spector pop tunes “He’s a Rebel” and “He’s Sure the Boy I Love,” only to see him deliberately misattribute the tracks to the Crystals, a girl group he was priming for success. Love has since embraced those songs, and she says they’ll always be part of her shows. The shuffling, ebullient “He’s a Rebel” has, in particular, been pointed to as one of Spector’s greatest early achievements, with Rolling Stone naming it one of the 500 greatest songs of all time. “There’s a big story behind that song,” Love says, “and I always get joy out of telling my fans all these wonderful stories about what happened to me. … It’s a great, great song, because you can tie it to anything in your life.”
Love did, however, get proper credit when she appeared on the 1963 Spector-produced LP A Christmas Gift for You, a holiday showcase for several of his artists. Although it flopped commercially (it probably didn’t help that it was released the same day President Kennedy was assassinated), it’s now generally considered the greatest holiday record of all time. Every December, Love includes her tracks from that album, including her interpretations of “White Christmas” and “Winter Wonderland,” in her traditional live set lists. “People listen to those songs and hear them on the radio during the holiday season, and they expect me to sing those songs,” Love says. “And I do, because I get a charge out of singing them. People say they get tired of singing their songs over and over again. Well, I get a break from singing mine! So it’s great when they come back again.”
HER SIGNATURE YULETIDE TUNE GOT A SECOND LIFE FROM AN UNEXPECTED SOURCE.
Like the Christmas Gift album, Love’s ’63 single “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” barely made a dent on the charts when it was first released. But in 1986, David Letterman, a fan of the song, invited Love to perform it with his house band on Late Night with David Letterman. Love’s appearance became an annual tradition that continued through Letterman’s change in networks and up until his retirement in 2014, and it’s now such a ubiquitous holiday staple that it’s hard to believe it nearly fell through the cracks. “Walking the streets or even doing shows, people would say, ‘We can’t wait to hear you on David Letterman. Christmas doesn’t start in our house until we hear that song,’” Love recalls. “He started a trend. I ended up getting thousands of fans just because of that one song and because of that one show.” And while this year marks the third Christmas without Letterman on the air, Love still attracts audiences wanting to hear her most famous song. “Half the time, people won’t let me get off the stage after I sing ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),’ so we come back out and sing it again,” she laughs. “Then we make them all stand and sing with us, because everyone knows the chorus. It’s such a joy, because the whole family gets into it.”
WHILE LOVE’S LIFE HASN’T RECEIVED THE BIOPIC TREATMENT, SHE DOES HAVE A HOLLYWOOD HISTORY.
Love has not only appeared on-screen with Elvis Presley, but alongside Don Knotts in 1969’s The Love God?, and she played Danny Glover’s long-suffering wife in the four-film Lethal Weapon series. But in 2013, Love got to be front-and-center on screen in 20 Feet from Stardom, the Oscar-winning documentary about the backup singers (many of them women of color) who make headlining artists sound way better. In the film, Love discusses the ups and downs of her career — her troubles with Spector, her difficulty securing a major label contract, the period where she was working as a housekeeper, and a comeback that found her being recognized as a star in her own right. The documentary’s success breathed new wind into Love’s professional sails, earning her younger fans that were previously unfamiliar with her groundbreaking work. But like everything in her career, Love says she knows she can’t simply rest on her laurels. She has to keep working. “Most people think you become a super-super-superstar when you win an Oscar,” Love says. “You can’t just sit at home saying, ‘Well, now I won an Oscar. Now come on, y’all — hire me. Give me this next great movie and the next hit record.’ It’s like a moment in time, and then you have to work it. “What it has done, though, is it’s opened more doors for me that I would not have been able to go through were it not for that. But you also have to be ready when that door’s open. That movie helped people realize, ‘Whoo, look at Darlene Love!’” Then she adds with a laugh: “‘And she still looks kinda good, and she still has a great voice!’” n Darlene Love: Love for the Holidays • Weds, Dec. 13 at 7:30 pm • $39.50-$59.50 • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls • inbpac.com • 279-7000
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 57
MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE
ROCK SUPERSUCKERS
S
eattle’s Supersuckers have been through a lot in their career. Besides touring like maniacs and running their own label, recent years have included an accident that cost leader Eddie Spaghetti the home on wheels he and his wife had just bought, quickly followed by a cancer diagnosis that landed him in the hospital instead of on a stage. The good news? Supersuckers are back where they belong, rocking out around the world, bringing classics like “Born with a Tail,” “Double Wide” and “Hot Rod Rally” to lovers of garage rock and rootsy punk. On their current tour, Supersuckers are joined by killer like-minded peers the BellRays and the Bombpops. If you’re looking for searing guitar solos and ferocious rock poses as an antidote to saccharine holiday music, this is for you. — DAN NAILEN Supersuckers with the BellRays, the Bombpops and Children of Atom • Sat, Dec. 9 at 7 pm • $18 • All-ages • The Pin! • 412 W. Sprague • thepinevents.com • 624-0746
J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW
Thursday, 12/7
J J THE BARTLETT, Julien Baker, Half Waif, Adam Torres J THE BIG DIPPER, Crazy Town, Bar Talk, Foxtrot Epidemic J J BING CROSBY THEATER, The Robert Cray Band, Sammy Eubanks J BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE, The Song Project J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen CORBY’S BAR, Open Mic and Karaoke THE CORK & TAP, Truck Mills CRAVE, DJ Stoney Hawk CRUISERS, Open Jam Night J HOTEL RL AT THE PARK, Ron Greene HOUSE OF SOUL, Middle Eastern Music & Bellydance feat. Safar THE JACKSON ST., Daniel Hall LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Roger Dines J THE LOCAL DELI, Jacob Maxwell J J MARTIN WOLDSON THEATER AT THE FOX, Brit Floyd J MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE, Open Mic Hosted by Scott Reid MOON TIME, Moses Willey NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), PJ Destiny THE OBSERVATORY, Vinyl Meltdown J THE PIN!, Darkest Hour, Warbringer, Exmortus, Cold Blooded THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler THE ROCK BAR & LOUNGE, Open Mic ZOLA, Blake Braley
Friday, 12/8
12 TRIBES RESORT CASINO, Rumor 6
58 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
ELECTRONIC BIG GIGANTIC
T
he traditional business model that originally defined the record industry — the idea that you pay for the music you want to listen to — has slowly eroded over the years. Big Gigantic, the electronica duo from Colorado, embraced the Spotify era from the outset: Their content has always been available for free online. So where do saxophonist/ producer Dominic Lalli and drummer Jeremy Salken make all their money? From their live shows, of course, which prove their name is no put-on. Their concerts marry pulsating, jazzinflected music with elaborate synchronized lighting and bombastic stage presence, and their regular (typically sold-out) shows at Red Rocks Amphitheatre in their home state have earned the nickname “Rowdytown.” Expect that same kind of infectious energy at the Knitting Factory next week. — NATHAN WEINBENDER Big Gigantic with Brasstracks and Beauflexx • Sun, Dec. 10 at 8 pm • $25 • Allages • Knitting Factory • 919 W. Sprague • sp.knittingfactory.com • 244-3279
J ARLO’S RISTORANTE, Cole Show BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BIGFOOT PUB, Last Call THE BLIND BUCK, Rave Party with DJ Fredrick Mhidze BOLO’S, Dragonfly CHINOOK STEAK, PASTA AND SPIRITS (CDA CASINO), Bob Sletner CORBY’S BAR, Karaoke CRUISERS, Perfect Destruction, Hedonizm, Lust for Glory, Freak System CURLEY’S, Yesterdayscake FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Nate Ostrander
GARLAND DRINKERY, Dave McRae and Michael Robinson J HOTEL RL AT THE PARK, Jango J HUMBLE BURGER, An American Forrest, Cig Juice IRON HORSE (COEUR D’ALENE), Gigawatt THE JACKSON ST., Working Spliffs JOHN’S ALLEY, Jim Basnight Band KOOTENAI RIVER BREWING CO., Truck Mills LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Carey Brazil THE LOCAL DELI, Wyatt Wood MOOSE LOUNGE, Nightshift MULLIGAN’S BAR & GRILLE, Kicho
NASHVILLE NORTH, Ladies Night with Luke Jaxon and DJ Tom NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), JamShack NORTHERN QUEST RESORT & CASINO, DJ Patrick O’SHAYS IRISH PUB & EATERY, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots THE OBSERVATORY, Slug Christ, Dommy Divine, Virginia Slim, Colourflies, Seizure, Astral Bodies PATIT CREEK CELLARS, Ken Davis In Transit PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Mike and Shanna
J THE PIN!, Ace Hood, Disk Jockey F3lon, Lou Era, KARMA, Zerarri and the Kind THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler RIPPLES RIVERSIDE GRILL, Gladhammer THE ROADHOUSE, FM THE ROCK BAR & LOUNGE, DJ Steve Baker THE ROXIE, Tommy G’s Chronic Christmas and Holiday Haze SPOKANE EAGLES LODGE, T&T ZOLA, Dangerous Type
Saturday, 12/9
12 TRIBES RESORT CASINO, Got ’90s? 3RD WHEEL, KrashKarma, Faith and Fable ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Ron Greene J ARLO’S RISTORANTE, The Cole Show BARLOWS AT LIBERTY LAKE, Jan Harrison J THE BARTLETT, Jackson Whalan, Honeycomb BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn J J THE BIG DIPPER, The Stone Foxes, Cattywomp, Buffalo Jones BIGFOOT PUB, Last Call BLACK LABEL BREWING CO., Dylan Hathaway BOLO’S, Dragonfly CHINOOK STEAK, PASTA AND SPIRITS (CDA CASINO), Bob Sletner J CLEARWATER RIVER CASINO, Hell’s Belles COMMUNITY PINT, Nicolas Vigil CURLEY’S, Yesterdayscake FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Mike McCafferty
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FLAME & CORK, Pat Coast J HUCKLEBERRY’S NATURAL MARKET, Andy Rumsey IRON HORSE (COEUR D’ALENE), Gigawatt THE JACKSON ST., Karaoke with James JOHN’S ALLEY, Breakfast for Dinner J LAGUNA CAFÉ, The Ronaldos LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Emily Rose Band MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, Muffy and the Riff Hangers MOOSE LOUNGE, Nightshift MULLIGAN’S BAR & GRILLE, Truck Mills NASHVILLE NORTH, Ladies Night with Luke Jaxon and DJ Tom NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), JamShack NORTHERN QUEST RESORT & CASINO, DJ Patrick THE OBSERVATORY, Fundamental Back2Basics Techno/House J ONE WORLD CAFE, Innerlit J J THE PIN!, Supersuckers (see facing page), The Bell Rays, The BombPops POST FALLS BREWING COMPANY, Son of Brad J PROHIBITION GASTROPUB, Rachel Bade McMurphy THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler RIPPLES RIVERSIDE GRILL, Gladhammer THE ROCK BAR & LOUNGE, DJ Sterling THE THIRSTY DOG, DJ Dave WESTWOOD BREWING CO., Devon Wade
ZOLA, Dangerous Type
Sunday, 12/10
BIG BARN BREWING CO., Moses Willey DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke IRON HORSE (VALLEY), KOSH J J KNITTING FACTORY, Big Gigantic (see facing page), Brasstracks, Beauflexx LINGER LONGER LOUNGE, Open Jam O’DOHERTY’S IRISH GRILLE, Live Irish Music THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Sunday Karaoke Night ZOLA, Lazy Love
Monday, 12/11
Coming Up ...
J KNITTING FACTORY, Method Man, Lou Era, Lee Haze, King Skellee Blakemore, Loud Crew, Dec. 14 J THE BARTLETT, Bartlett Christmas Special feat. Chris Molitor, Runaway Octopus, Newman, Scott Ryan, Jenny Anne Mannan, Windoe, Misty Mountain Pony Club, Dec. 15 J THE BIG DIPPER, Ugly Sweater Party with Von the Baptist, Indian Goat, Bullets or Balloons, Dec. 15 J INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Lindsey Stirling: Warmer in the Winter Christmas Tour [SOLD OUT], Dec. 15
J THE BIG DIPPER, KYRS Holiday Party with Walleye, Tyler Aker, Smackout Pack, Dec. 16 J KNITTING FACTORY, Alter Bridge, All That Remains, Dec. 16 THE OBSERVATORY, Ghost Frog, Colourflies, Runaway Octopus, Dec. 16 J THE PIN!, Young Neves and Friends, Dec. 17 J THE BARTLETT, Ill Noise 2 feat. Wanderers, Jiggy N Jamaal, CollinB and more, Dec. 20
J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic with Lucas Brookbank Brown ZOLA, Evan Dillinger
Wednesday, 12/13 BLACK DIAMOND, Burning Clean GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES, Open Mic with Travis Goulding J HOTEL RL AT THE PARK, Beth Heart J J INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Darlene Love (see page 56) IRON HORSE (VALLEY), Evan Denlinger LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 NO-LI BREWHOUSE, Wyatt Wood POOLE’S PUBLIC HOUSE (NORTH), The Cronkites POOLE’S PUBLIC HOUSE (SOUTH HILL), Nick Grow PROHIBITION GASTROPUB, Echo Elysium RED ROOM LOUNGE, Blowin’ Kegs Jam Session THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, The Ronaldos feat. Ron Criscione, Ray Younker and Emily Ridler SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, Open Mic feat. Dave McCrae & Dvir Abrams THE THIRSTY DOG, Karaoke J TWO SEVEN PUBLIC HOUSE, Matt Mitchell ZOLA, Whsk&Keys
Visit Inlander.com for complete listings of local events.
Robert Herold’s Greatest Hits!
Tuesday, 12/12
J J THE BARTLETT, Northwest of New Orleans Christmas feat. Hot Club of Spokane, Rachel Aldridge, Jace Fogleman, Abbey Crawford GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Turntable Tuesday MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, Open Mic J THE PIN!, Lee Dewyze, Frank Viele RAZZLE’S BAR & GRILL, Open Mic Jam RED ROOM LOUNGE, Tuesday Takeover with Storme THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Open Mic/ Jam Night ZOLA, Dueling Cronkites
MORE EVENTS
S
ince 1994, Robert Herold has been getting readers of the Inlander to nod in agreement or shake their heads in puzzlement in about equal doses. Collected here for the first time are some of his best columns from 1994 to 2017, covering everything from goings-on down at Spokane City Hall (from the Lincoln Street Bridge to the Strong Mayor system) to the misadventures of our leaders in Washington, D.C. (from Tom Foley through the Age of Trump). Take a trip through our local political history with Robert’s Rules, on sale now.
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Robert’s Rules is available at: Atticus 222 N. Howard St Auntie’s Bookstore 402 W. Main Ave Inlander HQ 1227 W. Summit Parkway
Paper & Cup 1227 W. Summit Parkway Huckleberry’s (South Hill) 926 S. Monroe St
MUSIC | VENUES 219 LOUNGE • 219 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-2639934 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 BARLOWS • 1428 N. Liberty Lake Rd. • 924-1446 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEEROCRACY • 911 W. Garland Ave. THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S • 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BRAVO CONCERT HOUSE • 25 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUZZ COFFEEHOUSE • 501 S. Thor • 340-3099 CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY • 116 E. Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208-665-0591 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague Ave. • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley, Idaho • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S PUB • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 THE FEDORA • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208-7658888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings • 466-5354 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 THE HIVE • 207 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-457-2392 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 HOTEL RL BY RED LION AT THE PARK • 303 W. North River Dr. • 326-8000 HOUSE OF SOUL • 120 N. Wall • 217-1961 IRON HORSE BAR • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL • 11105 E. Sprague Ave., CdA • 509-926-8411 JACKSON ST. BAR & GRILL • 2436 N. Astor St. • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. Sixth St., Moscow • 208883-7662 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 2013 E. 29th Ave. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan • 924-9000 MICKDUFF’S • 312 N. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208)255-4351 MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE • 208 N 4th Ave, Sandpoint • 208-265-9382 MOOSE LOUNGE • 401 E. Sherman • 208-664-7901 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MULLIGAN’S • 506 Appleway Ave., CdA • 208- 7653200 ext. 310 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR CATERING & EVENTS • 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST RESORT • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE OBSERVATORY • 15 S. Howard • 598-8933 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PIN! • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside • 822-7938 RIVELLE’S • 2360 N Old Mill Loop, CdA • 208-9300381 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 THE THIRSTY DOG • 3027 E. Liberty Ave. • 487-3000 TIMBER GASTRO PUB •1610 E Schneidmiller, Post Falls • 208-262-9593 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 59
Riverfront Park’s new ice ribbon opens this Friday, Dec. 8.
YOUNG KWAK PHOTO
COMMUNITY ICY DELIGHTS
The day so many of us have been waiting for is finally here, as Riverfront Park celebrates the grand opening of its new, public ice skating ribbon this Friday evening. Having been under construction for the better part of the past year, the attraction offers a 650-foot-long, meandering icy pathway (aka “ribbon”) for skaters of all ages to glide over as they enjoy some light outdoor recreation in the frosty winter weather. The 16-footwide ribbon also includes a large, attached pond area for those needing some extra space to get their ice legs. Guests can also take a break to warm up at cozy firepits located around the ribbon. Throughout this first winter for the new feature, watch for plenty of special events including themed nights, skate lessons, live music, happy hours and more. The ice ribbon will be open daily (except Dec. 25) through March 4. — CHEY SCOTT Ice Ribbon Grand Opening • Fri, Dec. 8 from 5-10 pm; ribbon cutting at 5 pm • $4.50/kids, $6.50/adults; skate rentals $4.50 • Riverfront Park • 507 N. Howard • spokaneriverfrontpark.com • 625-6000 GET LISTED! Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.
60 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
COMMUNITY HOLIDAY IN THE ’HOOD
COMMUNITY LIGHT UP THE NIGHT
A Very Merry Perry • Sat, Dec. 9 at 12 pm • Free • Multiple locations in the South Perry Business District • bit.ly/2ikITc1
Gaiser Conservatory Holiday Lights • Fri, Dec. 8 through Sun, Dec. 17; open daily from 8 am-7:30 pm • Free; donations accepted • Manito Park • 1702 S. Grand Blvd. • thefriendsofmanito.org
Here comes a very Merry Perry! And we’re not talking about old Perry Como albums on your grandpa’s shelf. Spokane’s historic South Perry District is hosting a day-long holiday block party event, and tons of neighborhood businesses are participating in the festivities. Pop into Casper Fry restaurant for Christmas cookie decorating for the wee ones and whiskey cocktails to keep the adults warm (9-10 am), or sign up for South Perry Pizza’s gingerbread house decorating contest (noon-9 pm). Other restaurants and shops will be entertaining with scavenger hunts, raffles and games for all age groups. Hosted by the South Perry Business and Neighborhood Association, make sure to grab a brew, kiss under the mistletoe and bundle up the kiddos to have a Merry Perry Christmas for all. — JASON STILL
One of my most favorite Inland Northwest holiday traditions kicks off this weekend as a crown jewel of Spokane’s park system transforms into a magical holiday wonderland. The annual holiday lights display at the Gaiser Conservatory in Manito Park is a tradition for many local families, and is well worth the trip up the South Hill (and waiting in the frequent lines that form around the historic conservatory). Inside, visitors are greeted by a blast of warm, humid air and the sight of thousands upon thousands of colorful holiday lights that drip from all the tropical foliage inside the fragrant greenhouse. Make sure to bring your camera for this very Instagram-worthy sight, and a donation for the Friends of Manito, whose volunteers spend countless hours each year to bring this magical scene to life. — CHEY SCOTT
12th Annual
BingCrosby Holiday Film Festival Saturday, December 9, 2017
Tickets $10
Tickets at door only - Cash or Check only Children age 12 and under admitted free.
OUTDOORS WINTER WONDERLAND
Bundle up in your coziest coats, hats and scarves and head out to Cheney for this annual celebration of the winter season at the scenic Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge. A day full of public events includes guided refuge wildlife tours (9 am and 1 pm), hands-on activities for kids, a chili potluck lunch and an important presentation by Gonzaga University professor of philosophy and environmental studies Brian Henning titled “Climate Change and Our Way Forward.” Make sure to make your reservations online for one of the day’s hosted refuge tours before you head out. It’s also a good idea to bring your cameras and binoculars in the likely chance you see some of Turnbull’s many wild residents including lots of migratory bird species, as well as moose, elk, deer and more. — CHEY SCOTT
1:00pm Riding High 3:30pm Holiday Inn
Bing CDs for Sale
MUSIC CELLO WORLD
You might think the term “cello rock” would be a contradictory one, but then you probably haven’t experienced the genre-busting group that is Break of Reality. Since 2003, the New York-based chamber ensemble/prog-rock quartet has been using its unusual instrumental arrangement — a trio of cellists and a drummer — to push the boundaries of symphonic music, blurring the lines separating old-school classical fans and hard rock fans. They’ve covered the likes of Soundgarden, System of a Down, Metallica and Slayer, and their version of the Game of Thrones theme would raise even a Lannister’s eyebrow. Northwest Bach Festival artistic director Zuill Bailey will be performing a solo set before Break of Reality’s Dec. 8 concert. — NATHAN WEINBENDER Break of Reality • Thu, Dec. 7 at 7:30 pm • Barrister Winery • 1213 W. Railroad • Fri, Dec. 8 at 7:30 pm • Washington Cracker Co. Building • 304
Crosby ca ree and famil r y photos on display
6:00pm Live performances by Howard Crosby and Hot Club of Spokane
901 W Sprague Ave, Spokane (509) 842-8664 and 993-1732 www.bingcrosbytheater.com
8:00pm White Christmas
Presented by Bing Crosby Advocates www.BingCrosbyAdvocates.org (for complete festival information)
LILAC CITY LIVE FREE!
WinterFest Celebration • Sat, Dec. 9 from 9 am-3 pm • Free • Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge • 26010 S. Smith Rd., Cheney • bit.ly/2zObkpJ or fotnwr.org
10:30am White Christmas
Raffle for hotel stays and other great prizes!
A LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW SPOKANE EXPERIENCE
Featuring 14 DECEMBER 2017 SHARMA SHIELDS DOWNTOWN LIBRARY 7-8 pm CASH BAR MARSHALL MCLEAN 8-9 PM LIVE SHOW AMBER HOIT PRESENTED BY RYAN MCCOMB Hosted By RYAN DEAN TUCKER DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 61
W I SAW YOU
S S
CHEERS JEERS
&
I SAW YOU LET’S BE TOGETHER FOREVER Sexy Girl, I love you so much. Your smile melts me, You laugh warms my heart, every minute I spend with you I fall in love with you over and over again. You are so beautiful and perfect for me. I want you in my arms for the rest of our lives. Love you Baby... Sexy Guy SOUTH HILL LIVING I saw you with Brian. Did you tell anyone? How you were with me from August until October? Did it make you feel good to be wanted, Aunt Tay Tay? The night you built the Chicken Coop to the Beetlejuice date (which like most things with you ended in disappointment) you snuck over. Behind both our backs. I found out from some of your friends... thankfully I still had/have the texts to show what really happened. So people know. And you know how that spreads. God, the picture you sent me from the lake with the kid. Remember that argument? It makes me sad now. You are a bad person. FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012 Tonight I’m replaying that first night we met. Feeling those excited jitters I got pulling up to your house and seeing you in that ridiculous Mickey Mouse hat, your leather, graphic tee, ripped up light wash Rockawear’s with the holes in both knees that were so big they defeated the purpose of pants lol our first hug and spending the entire night talking as if we had known each other forever and were catching each
other up. Tonight I’m missing that you, the best friend I ever had. I wish that I could pick up the phone and call you, text you, get one of your fix it all hugs. I wish I didn’t still miss you this much. I know you’ll never see this, but just putting it out there makes me feel a little less hollow. I wish I could just come home, now. ISN’T IT IRONIC? 11/29/17 5:05am - You were going 100mph down the freeway in your Tahoe. Your licence plate was ‘PATIENC’...a little ironic, don’t ya think?
CHEERS PHOTOGRAPHER OF LGBTQ COMING OUT STORIES Cheers to the photographer who took photos of Odyssey Youth a decade or so ago. Thank you for the beautiful pictures you took of these LGBTQ youth to which they attached their coming out stories. One of these youth was my daughter, Alice Hale, who died on April 21, 2015, of SUDEP -- Sudden Unexpected Death in EPilepsy. I have spoken to you several times but have lost your name & number now that I can afford to buy a photograph of Alice. Please contact me at SweetAliceHale@ yahoo.com MY CONSTANT COMFORT It’s been more than half a year now. You have almost always put me first and you instantly jump to be my knight in shining armor in times of need and pain. I can feel pain and stress physically leech from my body in your presence. To say you comfort me is an understatement, to say you complete me is cheesy -- I just love you, endlessly. BARISTA BADASS! Thanks for having my back Michael. (Safeway Starbucks) That nasty old man hit on me and I was too shocked and horrified to respond. You had my back though, comparing him to Harvey Weinstein and shutting him the hell up! Cheers to you! Keep calling out unsavory scum and making delicious coffee! RANDOM ACT OF COFFEE To the nice gentleman who brought me a coffee at Spencers - Thank you!!! Your gracious gesture quickly put me in the holiday spirit. I will not forget your kindness and will pass the random act of kindness
along. Thank you for making my day! LAST CHRISTMAS You are the most wonderful, kindest, loving and intelligent man I have ever been around. I love how gentle and sincere you are to me, and you are a true gentleman and you treat me like a lady. I know you see into my heart beyond all my rough exterior, and you love me just the same. You make me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. Thank you for loving me for me. Thank you for being patient with me. You are my hero. MOLLY’S HERO To Emily at Molly’s Family Restaurant: We fell on hard times and I brought my two daughters in for breakfast (two students of the month at their school). We were ordering from the cheap menu and you started talking to my daughters. Thank you for taking notice and for your generous loving gift. You are making our Christmas a great one.
JEERS UNLEASHED DOG WALKERS A couple of weeks ago, my wife was walking our two small dogs on-leash on the Centennial Trail. From out of nowhere an off-leash Pit Bull ran up and attacked and killed one of our little guys. The pit bull’s owner was clueless, had absolutely no control over her dog, and did not even appear upset at what she and her dog had done. After animal control was notified, her dog ended up being put down. So, just because she thought the law didn’t apply to her and that her dog “deserved” to run wild, now we both have lost our dogs. Look, people, the leash law isn’t in place to punish you or your dog. It is to protect others. If you absolutely must have your dog off-leash, go to a designated dog park, or move out in the country. We lost a member of our family because someone was a selfish a-hole who thinks that the laws don’t apply to them. LIGHT BLUE SUBARU To the woman driving the light blue Subaru south on Wall Wednesday night around 4, you were driving SO SLOW. To be exact, a solid 25 or less in a thirty zone. Thanks to you and your slow @$$, I was late getting home to my grandmother who slipped and fell and was waiting for me to take
SOUND OFF 1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3. Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”
her to the hospital. I hope you feel good about yourself because let me tell you, I felt sick to my stomach the entire time I was behind you. TERRIBLE RAMEN EATING FRIEND To the lady at King Ramen 11/29 around dinner time, facetiming with speakerphone on (which BTW is RUDE). You were talking to your friend about another friend who has depression. You’re truly a terrible friend who’s ill informed about mental health issues. Your view on ‘helping’ others by telling them to ‘get over it’ is the reason why so many people who are ill refuse to reach out for assistance. I hope you have a terrible holiday and that your ‘friend’ finds some real help. SJW SHOUTING AT ARGONNE STARBUCKS I am sorry that your brother died due to a distracted driver or someone texting while driving. I am happy you feel so strongly about people partaking in this behavior to the point of shouting obscene and vulgar language to try to get them to disengage from using their electronic device. That being said, you should also be aware of your surroundings. Trying to cross into traffic at a non crossing area, blocking traffic to yell at someone to stop being distracted almost caused yourself to be a victim of being hit by a law abiding driver. If you become the distraction and cause someone else to hit you because you are trying to make the world safer maybe you should reconsider your actions. Consider your actions because your public shame almost caused more people to get hurt. I was stuck in an area that I could not turn out of due to your screaming in the road. TNT DEL MARQUETTE AND GEORGE RYAN I love u two very much sorry u are in jail for your b-day son ill make it up to u and i hope u both are free to send the holidays with me because right now everyone i love is in spokane county for doing nothing wrong i miss u too love always your mother and wife jeanette marquette LITTLE PRIDE IN FAMILY/SPOKANE Christmas time in Spokane! Family opportunity to go out and do all kinds of wonderful things. I can remember as a child in a blue collar family that we all looked forward to these times and would want to represent the family in ways that
would show we took pride in our family AND where we live. Boy, are those days LONG GONE! Sadly the Crescent window is LONG gone. The automatronic puppets and decorations were a huge draw in Spokane. Every kid (and most adults) had their noses Pressed against the glass to see Every item. You could stand there for what seemed forever without seeing all of it! It was Magic! Now days I would say the Christmas Trees at the Davenport would be one of the bigger draws for families. How Festive! Saturday night was Packed. Trees where beautifully dressed and as always the Historic Davenport Hotel had their best foot forward---lots of effort and Pride. The people of Spokane? Way too many people dressed like Trailer Trash! Impoverished? OK some---few. Most just too lazy to take Any pride in themselves OR Spokane. And Yes it was/ is That obvious. You think this a generalized unfair judgment? Look around! No Pride at ALL! How much effort does it take to put something on that isn’t a T-shirt with a ball cap on backwards? (same things they wear to church IF they go to church) This country is going down the toilet using every excuse other than taking responsibility for one’s self. I’m sure many will take issue with this but just look around there’s your answer! HARVEY WEINSTEINS OF SPOKANE You know who you are. You need to be held accountable for what you’ve done. One day, you will be. TAILGATING To the insensitive idiot tailgating me on the way to SFCC: What makes you think you have more right to get where you’re going than the rest of us? Tailgating is not only rude and dangerous, but illegal. If you’re running late, that’s your problem; don’t make it everyone else’s. n
THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS B A D P R
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C I G A R C A L A M I S P E E
S E N T O R D A E S H E L L E E A N N O N
I M A F A N O R Y I S P Y
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U P M E A P K E I N O D S K H E N R I
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NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.
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62 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
EVENTS | CALENDAR CHRISTMAS TREE ELEGANCE View the themed, decorated trees and accompany gifts on display at River Park Square (second floor) and the Davenport Hotel (mezzanine) through Dec. 9 during regular hours (thru Dec. 10 at RPS). Proceeds from the raffle ($1/ticket) of the 18 trees benefits the Spokane Symphony. facebook.com/ChristmasTreeElegance SANTA EXPRESS The 25th annual holiday store offers items at allowancefriendly prices (50 cents to $8) for area children (ages 4-12) to purchase for friends and family, with proceeds supporting the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Open daily through Dec. 23 during mall hours. River Park Square, 808 W. Main Ave. santaexpress.org (624-3945) CELEBRATE THE SEASON 2017 An event to raise awareness and support for local Salvation Army programs to help our community’s most vulnerable children and families. Dec. 8, 12-1 pm. $75/person; $750/table of 10. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. spokane. salvationarmy.org (329-2721) TAP GRANDMAS: TO DANCE IS TO LIVE The nonprofit group of local tap dancers who love to perform present a fundraiser for Inland Northwest Dance Association. Dec. 8, 7-8 pm. $10/person; $15/family. Trent Elementary School, 3303 N. Pines. indaspokane.com
COMEDY
ANDY HENDRICKSON The comedian, writer and actor built his career in New York City and now resides in Los Angeles. Dec. 7-9 at 8 pm, Dec. 9 at 10:30 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com BEFORE IT’S IN THEATRES Audience members choose a movie trailer and the BDT players try and fill in all the blanks. For general audiences. Fridays at 8 pm, Nov. 10-Dec. 15. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com CHAD PRATHER Prather has appeared on Fox News, CNN, A&E, The Blaze, MSN and has been featured in magazines from Southern Living to Nash Country Weekly.
Dec. 8, 8 pm. $18-$23. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404) SAFARI The fast-paced short-form improv show for mature audiences relies on audience suggestions to fuel each scene. Saturdays at 8 pm, through Dec. 30. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) DRINK N’ DEBATE The local, monthly comedy competition features four teams of three comedians; each gets a topic and 5 min. to prepare arguments. Dec. 10 at 8 pm. $5-$12. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com COOKING HOT COMEDY Comedian Deece Casillas and chef Amanda Ann Hillmann present a live cooking show with a side of comedy. Shows on Dec. 12 and Dec. 19, at 7:30 pm. $13. The Roxie, 3023 E. Diamond. SocialHourPod.com
COMMUNITY
CDA HOLIDAY LIGHTS SHOW The 31st annual holiday tradition includes the “Journey to the North Pole” lake cruises. Lights are on display through January 1; 40-minute cruises ($7.50/ages 6-12; $22.25/adults; $21.25/seniors) depart nightly on the lake at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 pm. CdA Resort, 115 S. 2nd. cdaresort.com FIND RUDOLPH SCAVENGER HUNT Use your special passport to locate Rudolph inside 25 downtown locations and enter to win a grand prize. Through Dec. 18. Free. downtownspokane.org SPOKANE WINTER GLOW The 4th annual holiday lights show features themed displays. Lights on daily at dusk through Jan. 1. Free. Cowley Park, Sixth Ave. and Division. spokanewinterglow.com TITANIC: THE ARTIFACT EXHIBITION The blockbuster exhibit features more than 120 artifacts all recovered from the ocean floor. The objects, along with room re-creations and personal stories, offer haunting, emotional connections to lives abruptly ended or forever altered. Thru May 20; Tue-Sun from 10 am-5 pm (Wed until 8 pm). $18/adults, $16/seniors, $10/ ages 6-17, $13/students w/ID. The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org TREE OF SHARING Community mem-
bers can help provide holiday gifts to Spokane’s often forgotten residents. Pick up gift tags at River Park Square, NorthTown and and the Spokane Valley Mall. Collection runs thru Dec. 17; tables open during mall hours. treeofsharing.org GREENBLUFF CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE Take a horse-drawn sleigh ride across the Bluff to cut your own tree, do some wine tasting, eat lunch and shop. $65 for any size U-cut tree with a sleigh ride and lunch. ($15/add’l adult, $12/additional child). Private rides for two also available. Through Dec. 23; Fri-Sun from 10 am-3 pm. High Country Orchard, 8518 E. Green Bluff Rd. bit.ly/2htfgEY HORSE & CARRIAGE RIDES Wheatland Bank sponsors this year’s holiday horse and carriage rides around downtown Spokane. Through Dec. 24; Fri 3-8 pm, Sat-Sun noon-5 pm (noon-3 pm on Dec. 24). Pick-up at 222 N. Wall. Free. downtownspokane.org/carriage-rides/ MEMORIAL TREE Hospice of Spokane displays a Memorial Tree to remember loved ones. Families and friends can purchase doves to honor the memories of loved ones. Proceeds benefit Hospice. Dec. 8-17. River Park Square (3rd level), 808 W. Main. (624-3945) ICE RIBBON GRAND OPENING The grand opening of Spokane’s new ice ribbon includes a ribbon cutting at 5 pm followed by festivities including outdoor fire pits, an ice lounge, live DJ, photo booth, food trucks, face painting and more. Dec. 8, 5-10 pm. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard. bit.ly/2AGBg6B KID’S HOLIDAY CELEBRATION Kick off the holiday season and decorate a cookie with frosting and sprinkles. Also get your picture taken with Santa. Dec. 8, 4-6 pm. Free. My Fresh Basket, 1030 W. Summit Pkwy. (558-2100) MOBIUS KIDS DAY Washington Trust Bank hosts a free admission event for the first 500 attendees to Mobius Children’s Museum and Mobius Science Center. Stop in for family friendly activities including holiday science, crafts, and door prizes. Dec. 8, 5-8 pm. Mobius Science Center, 331 N. Post. downtownspokane.org REMNANTS & RAILS An update on an archaeological survey in the Looff Car-
rousel area of Riverfront Park before construction of the new carrousel building began and subsequent discoveries as work has progressed. Dec. 8, 4 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane Library, 906 W. Main. spokanelibrary.org BOARD GAME MAKING NIGHT Create a prototype for your own game, test it out with other players and get advice from professional game makers. Materials provided, pros also bring their own games to try. Dec. 9, 5-9 pm. $10. Spark Central, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. spark-central.org CHRISTMAS CONTRA DANCE Spokane Folklore Society’s holiday dance, with Contra In-Tent-City playing and Penn Fixx calling. Includes a potluck at the break, bring a dish to share. All are welcome; no experience necessary. Dec. 9, 7-10 pm. $8/$10. East Spokane Grange, 1621 N. Park Rd. spokanefolklore.org COOKIES & COCOA WITH SANTA Fly in and join the museum for games and Christmas cheer, with cookies and cocoa with Santa and Mrs. Claus, along with games, crafts, a toy drive and more. $5$10. Dec. 9, 12-3 pm. Honor Point Military & Aerospace Museum, 6095 E. Rutter Ave. HonorPoint.org GAISER CONSERVATORY HOLIDAY LIGHTS Visit the conservatory for its spectacular annual holiday lights display, a benefit for the Friends of Manito. Dec. 8-17, daily from 8 am-7:30 pm. Donations accepted. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org (456-8038) RE*IMAGINE CHRISTMAS WINTER FESTIVAL A holiday/winter festival with a “WhoVille” theme. Includes a 5K fun run/walk, Santa’s workshop display, live theatre, tree lighting, parade, costume contest and more. Dec. 9, 1-7 pm. Free. Medical Lake, Wash. medicallake.org/wf SANTA BREAKFAST Santa hosts a full hot breakfast and photos with him in his sleigh. Dec. 9 and 16; breakfast from 9 am-noon; photos from noon-3 pm. Dec. 9 and Dec. 16. $7-$12. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org SANTA PAWS PARTY Come have your pictures (kids and pets welcome) taken with Santa Paws at this holiday celebration including a bake sale, animal holiday
thrift store
FINDING HOME. FINDING HOME. The Arc of Spokane helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilities find housing opportunities.
The Arc of Spokane helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilities Shop The Arc of Spokane Thrift Store this findat housing opportunities. holiday season to support The Arc of Spokane. Learn more at poweroforange.org Shop at The Arc of Spokane Thrift Store this holiday season to support The Arc of Spokane. Learn more at poweroforange.org
Windfall
BENEFIT
UNITED HILLYARD MALL Two floors full of collectibles and the finest quality antiques. Hours: Mon - Sat: 10:30am - 5:30pm Sun: 11am - 4:30pm
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merchandise and more. Dec. 9, 11 am-4 pm. Free. SpokAnimal, 710 N. Napa. bit. ly/2A7vUoX (534-8133) SANTA SATURDAYS Chat with Santa in a casual environment and take your own photos. Also includes storytime, kids crafts and free cookies and cocoa. Saturdays from 11 am-2 pm, thru Dec. 16. Free. Liberty Building, 402 N. Washington. (768-1268) SING-ALONG WITH MUDGY & SANTA The sixth annual holiday event offers a reading and singalong with local author Susan Nipp, creator of Mudgy and Millie and the Wee Sing series. Dec. 9, 11 am. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. cdalibrary.org A VERY MERRY PERRY Events at businesses throughout the business district include games, food specials, Santa pictures, cookie and gingerbread house decorating, caroling, craft workshops, scavenger hunts and more. Dec. 9. Free. South Perry District. bit.ly/2ikITc1 WINTER MARKET The 14th annual market hosts local vendors of handmade, artisan goods including food, arts, jewelry and more. Dec. 9, 10 am-2 pm. 1912 Center, 412 E. Third, Moscow. 1912center.org LILAC CITY LIVE! The first “late night” talk show of its kind featuring local talent at the downtown library, with drinks, music, local authors and artists. Hosted by Ryan Dean Tucker and featuring author Sharma Shields, musician Marshall McLean, comedian Ryan McComb and artist Amber Hoit. Dec. 14, 7 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane Library, 906 W. Main. bit.ly/2A9u3Qz WINTER BLESSING An evening of Coeur d’Alene tribal culture and history honoring one of the strongest tribal traditions and open to all. Dec. 14, 5:30 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S. Nukwalqw. cdacasino.com
FILM
LAST STAND: THE VANISHING CARIBOU RAINFOREST KYRS and the Lands Council present a visual journey into the imperiled world of this endangered species. Dec. 7, 7 pm. Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main Ave. (209-2383)
upscale thrift clothes handbags shoes housewares & much more! A Neighborhood Ministry of St. John’s Cathedral Service League
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1024 S. Perry Street Spokane, WA 509.534.3888
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 63
Gifts for
the 4/20 Friendly By Nathan Weinbender and Tuck Clarry HANDY HOOKAHS
It’s a common complaint: Smoking out of a hookah is great, but what good are they for a stoner on the go? Your prayers have been answered. These collapsible hookahs from Maxfashion start as pocket-sized plastic discs that essentially unstack into a smoking device that’s about 8 inches tall. Think of it as a nesting doll, but one you can smoke out of. Online user reviews say it’s durable and easy to use (it also comes with a set of cleaning brushes and screens). But be aware that, despite its portability, it’s not exactly discreet. $15 (NATHAN WEINBENDER)
GOT THE MUNCHIES?
For the pot lover and foodie in your life, The Official High Times Cannabis Cookbook would make a perfect gift. Published by the monthly magazine that’s been around since 1974, it teaches you the basics — how to make pot-infused butter, for instance, and the best kinds of tinctures and oils to use for specific dishes — but also boasts a variety of recipes both fancy (pot-and-pancetta-stuffed beef tenderloin) and not (Cheeto fried chicken, anyone?). Make everything from cupcakes to cocktails, as well as dishes that should make your next Thanksgiving a little more interesting. $19 (NW)
CACHE FOR YOUR STASH
Everyone’s got a preferred place for stashing their bud — in antique cigar boxes, those bottles with false bottoms, or even old plastic film canisters. These durable stash jars from Green-Der might
64 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
just be your new go-to, and because they’re waterproof and have handy keychains on them, they’d be perfect for any outdoor enthusiast. They’re airtight, too, so not only will your stash stay fresh, the smell won’t get out. Each canister fits about 3 grams of pot, and you can currently snag two for $16. (NW)
WHERE THERE’S SMOKE...
If you’re a regular weed smoker but want to avoid smelling like one (or maybe you’ve got roommates or nosy neighbors who aren’t down), then you really should be using SmokeBuddy air filters. Next time you’re enjoying a joint, just blow directly into the filter; the smoke that emerges from the other end will be as fresh as a spring breeze. The SmokeBuddy is available in a few sizes — from the mega, which fits comfortably in your hand, to the pocketsized junior — and in enough colors to accessorize with just about anything. $15-$40 (NW)
LET’S ROLL
Not all smokers have the sleight of hand to cleanly roll a joint anytime or anywhere. Pufftec’s Sculpt insures that you’re able to roll a joint in the tightest places easily. The malleable leather serves as a rolling plate when you’re out and about, and this classy piece is a nice, innocuous addition to any set of keys or backpack. $42 (TUCK CLARRY)
LEAN & GREEN
Ham-handed smokers rejoice! The Lean Green Wizard Cone Filling Machine has the foolproof cone filler to load your quarter-inch and king-sized papers without the typical mess. The stand-up rig comes with a disposable tray, magic wand and indestructible grinder to seamlessly fill those cones to the brim. $15 (TC)
GANGA GUIDE
Get a crash course on cannabis with the The Little Black Book of Marijuana. This handy little guide, written by longtime marijuana journalist Steve Elliott, known for the blogs Toke of the Town and Toke Signals, covers the history and cultural aspects of cannabis while also offering a solid background that enables readers to better understand medicinal aspects of weed legalities, cultivation and cooking. The travel-size book offers a bounty of information useful for the kings of cannabis and greenhorns alike. $10 (TC)
BETTER BUTTER
When making edibles or extracts at home, getting the rendering and processing down right can be an intimidating task. You’re wary regarding how well the potency carried over, if you timed everything right, or if the temperature was accurate. Add the Magical Butter Machine, a countertop extractor, to your cannabis kitchen and rest assured that you’ll make butter, oils, tinctures, topicals and infused products with the best of them. The machine comes with a hot glove, strainer and a year-long warranty. $175 (TC) n
Welcome to the Top! Spokane County Location 21502 East Gilbert Road I-90 Liberty Lake Exit #276
Grant County Location 955 W Broadway Moses Lake I-90 Moses Lake Exit #176
Just a few of the gifts that are sure to delight!
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EVENTS | CALENDAR THE ROYALS 3RD ANNUAL SOCK DRIVE
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GEORGE BALANCHINE’S THE NUTCRACKER Experience the wonder of New York City Ballet’s iconic holiday classic on the big screen. Dec. 8-10 at 5 pm. $5. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com/events WHOSE STREETS? Told from the people’s perspective, this film offers an unflinching look at the Ferguson uprising through the eyes and voices of the activists and leaders who lived and breathed a movement for justice. Black Lens publisher/editor Sandra Williams facilitates a post-film discussion. Dec. 8, 7 pm. $12. Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main. magiclanternonmain.com BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FEST The 12th annual event features some of the best-loved films starring Spokane’s own Bing Crosby, along with a special musical performance by Howard Crosby (son of Bing’s brother Ted) and the Hot Club of Spokane. See full schedule online. Dec. 9, 10:30 am-8 pm. $10. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE A banker learns what life would have been like without him in this holiday classic starring James Stewart. Dec. 9, 2 pm. Free. South Hill Library, 3324 S. Perry St. spokanelibrary.org (444-5331) A CHRISTMAS STORY Hilarity ensues as Ralphie and friends try to convince everyone that a Red Ryder BB gun is the perfect gift for a 9-year-old boy. Dec. 13, 6 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane Library, 906 W. Main. spokanelibrary.org
FOOD
COOKIE DECORATING AT SCLD The library provides cookies, frosting, sprinkles, and other options for your masterpiece. All ages (kids 8 and under must bring an adult). Dec. 7, 9, 1214 and 16; branch locations/times vary, see site for details. Free. scld.org FIRESTONE WALKER CHRISTMAS PARTY + TAP TAKEOVER Firestone Walker takes over the taps along with Fremont and Georgetown brewing, with gifts and rare beers. See FB page for details. Dec. 7, 5-10 pm. Community Pint, 120 E. Sprague. (953-8266) HOTEL RL LIFESIZE GINGERBREAD HOUSE Walk through the life-size gingerbread house and enjoy special treats that benefit local nonprofit Blessings Under the Bridge. Treats and DIY gingerbread house kits from $3$12; free to view. Open daily thru Jan. 1. Hotel RL at the Park, 201 W. North River Dr. redlion.com/park-spokane COFFEE TASTING FUNDRAISER Enjoy coffee from around the world in this tasting event, with all proceeds supporting Southeast Daycare Center and its work with local children and families. Dec. 9, 8:45-11 am. $15 donation. Indaba, 1425 W. Broadway. (535-4794) NO-LI FROSTFEST No-Li’s second annual winter beer festival, with carnival entertainment, music, food and a dozen new specialty beers. Dec. 9, 2-6 pm. $30 [SOLD OUT]. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. nolibrewhouse.com YULE LOG DECORATING CLASS My Fresh Basket’s Heather Porter shares how to make this traditional cake, complete with meringue decorations. Dec. 9, 4-5:30 pm. $20. My Fresh Basket, 1030 W. Summit Pkwy. (558-2100) GINGERBREAD BUILD OFF The 13th
annual event benefiting the programs and services of Christ Kitchen Spokane features local culinary teams competing to build the most elaborate gingerbread house, as voted by the public. Dec. 10, 10 am-4 pm. Davenport Grand Hotel, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. christkitchen.org (800-918-9344) WINTER WONDERLAND Celebrate the holidays with a concert by local musicians as you enjoy a 4-course farm-to-table meal prepared by Chef LJ Klink. Dec. 10, 4:30 pm. $55 (kids’ tickets available). Mont Lamm Events, 7501 Enoch Rd. bit.ly/2zcxHZK OLD WORLD WINTER FEAST A collaborative dinner with food by Chef Travis Dickinson for a five-course dinner paired with English Abbey-style ales from Bellwether Brewing. Dec. 11, 6-9 pm. $69. Bellwether Brewing Co., 2019 N. Monroe. bit.ly/2hrSIEn EDIBLE GIFTS CLASS Think beyond the cookie tray to make easy but impressive treats. Dec. 13 and 14 (sold out) at 5:30 pm. $50. Batch Bakeshop, 2023 W. Dean. batch-bakeshop.com HOLIDAY WORLD FOODS DINNER SERIES Chef Adam Hegsted presents a small plates dinner event paired with wines of the world. Dec. 13, 6-10 pm. $50. The Wandering Table, 1242 W. Summit Pkwy. bit.ly/2zXmps5
MUSIC
CELLO ROCK FEAT. BREAK OF REALITY Presented by Terrian and NW Bach Fest, Break of Reality is one of the world’s foremost alt-classical chamber ensembles Dec. 7, 7:30-9:30 pm. $20$40. Barrister Winery, 1213 W. Railroad Ave. Also Dec. 8 at 7:30 pm at Terrain, 304 W. Pacific. nwbachfest.com SONOS HANDBELL ENSEMBLE HOLIDAY CONCERT In this special holiday program, Sonos performs favorites like Tchaikovsky’s “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy” and the classic “Sleigh Ride.” Dec. 7, 7:30-9:30 pm. $9-$18. Jones Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman. performingarts.wsu.edu CHRISTMAS BY CANDLELIGHT Chorale Coeur d’Alene presents a concert of traditional Christmas music. Dec. 8 at 7 pm and Dec. 9 at 3 pm. $10-$20. Trinity Lutheran, 812 N. Fifth. ChoraleCdA.com (208-446-2333) BAROQUE SERIES: A FESTIVE BAROQUE CHRISTMAS Hear some of the best-loved works from the Baroque period, set in the splendor of historic area churches. Dec. 9 at 7 pm (Westminster Congregational, 411 S. Washington) and Dec. 10 at 3 pm (Spokane Valley Church of the Nazarene, 15515 E. 20th Ave). $54. spokanesymphony.org TUBACHRISTMAS This annual performance features traditional Christmas carols especially arranged for tubaeuphonium choir. Dec. 9, 1:30-2:30 pm. Free. STA Plaza, 701 W. Riverside. facebook.com/TubaChristmas1/ WHITWORTH CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL A program presented by 100+ performers, including members of the Whitworth Choir, Women’s Choir, and student-instrumentalists. Dec. 9, 8-9:30 pm. $15-$20. The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. whitworth.edu/music AFFINITI - A CELTIC CHRISTMAS Affiniti returns to perform a program of classical and Celtic music. Dec. 10, 7 pm. $20-$25. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404)
DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 67
RELATIONSHIPS
Advice Goddess DESTINY’S PROBLEM CHILD
I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sight really exist? —Smitten It’s so special when a man tells a woman he’s deeply in love with her — except when her response is “Excuse me, but have we met?” Love at first sight sounds so romantic. There are those AMY ALKON couples who claim they had it — causing mass nausea at dinner parties when they look into each other’s eyes and announce, “From the moment we saw each other, we just KNEW.” Uh, or did they? A Swiss psychology grad student, Florian Zsok, ran some experiments to see what love at first sight is actually made of. Zsok and his colleagues were looking for the three elements that psychologist Robert Sternberg theorizes interact to produce love: intimacy, commitment, and passion (made up of physical arousal, desire, excitement, and longing). They surveyed participants online and in a lab setting — asking them how they felt about people in photographs — and in three dating events, getting their reactions to people they’d just met. Of the 396 participants, love at first sight “was indicated 49 times by 32 different individuals.” (That rare and wonderful lightning struck twice or maybe three times for some.) And here’s a shocker: “None of the instances of (love at first sight) was reciprocal.” Not surprisingly, none of the participants who said they’d felt love at first sight had the elements of intimacy or commitment as part of their experience. The one element they did have? Passion — in the form of “physical attraction.” Basically, the researchers empirically confirmed what some of us intuitively understand: “Love at first sight” is just a classier way of expressing the sentiment yelled from passing cars: “Hey, miniskirt! You’re late for your visit to My Penis Avenue!” As for couples who insist they had love at first sight, the researchers believe they could be retrospectively repainting their first meeting to make their relationship feel more special. The reality: “We just knew” is “we just got lucky” (stated in a way that makes frustrated single people long to commit hara-kiri with the nearest shrimp fork). Reminding yourself that you just have the plain old hots for this girl is probably the best way for you to do what needs to be done — shift to some other activity (Masturbate! Play video games!) when the impulse strikes to stake out Coffeeland. Getting stuck on a total stranger this way probably makes it impossible to behave normally in their presence — or want to look closely enough to see who they really are. As alluring a concept as love at first sight is, in practice it tends to work out best with inanimate objects — a painting or an antique chair (something that doesn’t make big wet smacking sounds when it chews or take so long to text you back that you buy it a burial plot).
CHARLES (DARWIN) IN CHARGE
My family enjoys your weekly column, but we’re wondering why you can’t give advice without launching into evolutionary explanations. We aren’t always instinct-driven animals like elk or migrating salmon. —Evolutionary Overkill It isn’t so bad being a salmon. Salmon just wake up one day and swim like mad upstream. There’s no existential fretting, “What does it all mean? What will I do with myself after grad school? Am I a bad fish if I sometimes long to put grain alcohol in the sippy cup of that brat screaming on the beach?” Meanwhile, back in humanland, research in cognitive neuroscience (by Michael Gazzaniga, among others) and in social science finds that we humans aren’t the highly rational independent thinkers we like to believe we are. In fact, as evolutionary psychologists Leda Cosmides and John Tooby put it, “our modern skulls house a stone age mind” — adapted to solve hunter-gatherer mating and survival problems. This 10-million-year-old psychology, still driving us right now, today, is often a mismatch with our modern environment. Take our sugar lust, for example. This made sense in an ancestral environment, where eating a couple of berries might have helped prevent malnutrition. Today, however, we can drive to Costco and have some guy load a pallet of doughnuts into our SUV while we burn .0003 of a calorie watching him. Understanding the origins of our motivation is not “evolutionary overkill” but our best shot for possibly controlling our behavior -- or at least forgiving ourselves when we fail miserably. As my First Amendment lawyer friend Ken White (@Popehat) tweeted about S’mores Girl Scout Cookies: “I thought they were kind of meh at first but by the third box I ate in the garage they were growing on me.” n ©2017, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
68 INLANDER DECEMBER 7, 2017
EVENTS | CALENDAR AVÉ! HNMC’s faculty performance of meditative music inspired by the Virgin Mary. Dec. 10, 2 pm. Free. Gonzaga University (student chapel), 502 E. Boone Ave. hnmc.org (509-328-4220) AFFINITI: A CELTIC CHRISTMAS The trio of Irish musicians perform their unique blend of classical and pop music, with a special emphasis on the music of the holidays in a show featuring special guest Howard Crosby, nephew of Bing Crosby. Dec. 11, 7 pm. $25. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. kroccda. org (208-667-1865) ORGANISYNTH Richmond Gallery and Laboratory Spokane host an evening of sci-fi electronic music where you become part of the experience. Dec. 14. Free. Richmond Gallery, 228 W. Sprague. laboratoryspokane.com
SPORTS & OUTDOORS
GONZAGA WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNLV The lady Zags host the University of Las Vegas on the home court. Dec. 9, 2 pm. $3-$8. McCarthey Athletic Center, 801 N Cincinnati. gozags.com SPOKANE CHIEFS Hockey match vs. the Seattle Thunderbirds; also includes the Teddy Bear Toss toy drive after the Chiefs score their first goal. Dec. 9, 7:05 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. spokanearena.com (279-7000) WINTERFEST CELEBRATION The annual event features refuge tours, a presentation on climate science, chili contest and potluck, and hands-on activities for children. Dec. 9, 9 am-3 pm. Free. Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd. bit.ly/2zObkpJ SPOKANE CHIEFS Versus the Portland Winterhawks. First 500 through the gates receive a souvenir cup and a complimentary soft drink fill. Dec. 12, 7:05 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. spokanearena.com
THEATER
A CHILD’S CHRISTMAS IN WALES A musical based on the short story by Dylan Thomas. Through Dec. 10; Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, also Dec. 2 at 2 pm. $5-$15. Hartung Theater, 875 Perimeter Dr. uitheatre.com A CHRISTMAS STORY: THE MUSICAL The endearing tale of Ralphie Parker and his quest to get a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. Through Dec. 17; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $30-
*
$32. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com CHRISTMAS WITH A TWIST Ellen Travolta returns this holiday season for her new production directed by Troy Nickerson. Through Dec. 17; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm. $27.50. CdA Resort, 115 S. Second. cdachristmas.com EVERY CHRISTMAS STORY EVER TOLD Instead of performing Dickens’ beloved holiday classic, three actors decide to perform all the Christmas storise in this comedy romp. Through Dec. 17, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $20$22. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden. facebook.com/lakecityplayhouse/ A CHRISTMAS CAROL A radio-style reader’s theatre production of Dicken’s classic holiday tale. Includes a dinner theatre on Dec. 9 at 6 pm ($30, reservation only). Dec. 1-9; Fridays at 7 pm, Dec. 2 (Sat) at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $5$12. StageWest Community Theatre, 639 Elm, Cheney. (509-768-4792) ANNIE Local adults and children perform this beloved musical. Through Dec. 17; Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $10-$14. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrenstheatre.org A CHRISTMAS CAROL The classic tale of redemption by Charles Dickens is brought into today’s world. Dec. 8-17, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $7-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 236 S. Union Ave. pendoreilleplayers.org ELF THE MUSICAL JR. A production based on the beloved holiday film. Dec. 8-9 and 14-16 at 7 pm; Dec. 9 and 16 at 2 pm. $15. Liberty Lake Community Theatre, 22910 E. Appleway Ave.libertylaketheatre.com FREUD’S LAST SESSION A comedic, fast-moving debate between young novelist C.S. Lewis and aging psychoanalyst Dr. Sigmund Freud. Through Dec. 17; Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $20. Stage Left Theater, 108 W. Third Ave. spokanestageleft.org (838-9727) HOLIDAY HIJINKS Civic performers present a series of off-colored short, original comedic plays and songs that poke fun at the holidays. Dec. 8-16, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm. $15. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. SpokaneCivicTheatre.com TRADITIONS OF CHRISTMAS The annual Radio City Music Hall-style show honors the U.S. military with a USO tribute, and brings Christmas classics to life with song and dance. Dec. 8-10, 1517 and 21-23; show times vary. $20-$36. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd.
traditionsofchristmasnw.com SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS A fun, family-friendly performance based on the 1964 film, performed by students in the fall Civic Academy. Dec. 9 at 1 and 3 pm; Dec. 10 at 6:30 pm. $10-$15. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. (325-2507)
ARTS
HOLIDAY ART SHOW An art and wine extravaganza featuring more than a dozen local artists showcasing their creations. Free admission (21+ only). Arbor Crest Wine Cellars, 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. arborcrest.com STAN MILLER PAINTING EXHIBITION The local artist opens his studio and home to exhibit his watercolor and egg tempera paintings. Dec. 8 from 5-9 pm, Dec. 9 from 11 am-6 pm and Dec. 10 from noon-4 pm. Free. 3138 E. 17th Ave. stanmiller.net (768-9354) WINTERFEST ARTS & CRAFTS SALE Shop for gifts for family and friends at this campus event featuring all wares created/sold by Whitworth students, faculty, staff and alumni. Dec. 8, 9 am. Whitworth Hixson Union Building, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. whitworth.edu
WORDS
BOTTLECROW PREMIER & BOOK SIGNING Attend the premier of the new story “Invited.” Writer and artist Derrick Freeland is on hand to talk about the work and sign books. Dec. 9, 11 am-4 pm. Free. Booktraders, 907 W. Garland. bit.ly/2hItRMV (503-347-1885) A ROLL OF THE DICE ANTHOLOGY SIGNING An anthology written/published by the Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Writers of Spokane. Dec. 9, 1:30 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com THE WINTER SALON: LECTURES, READINGS & BOOK SIGNINGS Lost Horse Press and Sandpoint Parks & Rec present this literary event featuring local writers David Axelrod, Melissa Kwasny and Christopher Howell. Dec. 9, 10 am. Free. Sandpoint Community Hall, 204 S. First. (208-263-3317) PUTTING TOGETHER YOUR POETRY MANUSCRIPT Local Poet Dennis Held leads this two-session workshop to transform your poetry collection into a book manuscript. Dec. 12 and 14 from 7-9 pm. $20. Spark Central, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. spark-central.org (2790299) n
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 69
Coeur d ’Alene
THIS WEEK
December 9th Live Neigh-tivity Scene Free fun with hot cocoa & coffee courtesy of Evans Coffee Roasters
Animal Petting Stable Petting stables with animals from the manger. 1-4pm at Sherman Square Downtown
Come See Santa
and his Vintage Fire Truck
Visit with Santa for kids of all ages. 4-6pm at 2nd & Sherman Courtesy of the CDA Fire Department
Canned food donations to the CDA Fire Department are appreciated.
Coeur d’Alene Downtown Association
CDA
Upcoming Events COEUR D’ALENE
For more events, things to do & places to stay, go to visitcda.org
Christmas with a Twist: ’Tis the Season for Family
THROUGH DECEMBER 17
Join acclaimed actress Ellen Travolta and friends for a cabaret-style evening of music, laughter and storytelling. Tickets $27.50 adults; overnight resort package from $239 includes two tickets to show and $50 restaurant credit; Saturdays, 7:30 pm, Sundays, 5 pm.
Family Fun at the Heart of Neigh-tivity Live
G
rab your kids and your camera! Santa, Christmas carolers and a live nativity scene complete with a menagerie of animals will all be featured at Live Neigh-tivity on Saturday, Dec. 10 at Sherman Square in downtown Coeur d’Alene. The fun starts at 1 pm with a manger scene photo booth and a live animal petting stable that will feature a camel, donkey, cow, goats, sheep and handlers dressed in Nativity attire. Hot chocolate and coffee compliments of Evans Brothers Coffee Roasters,
along with Christmas carolers, add to the afternoon’s festivities. Then at 4 pm, look for Santa to make a grand entrance riding on the Coeur d’Alene Fire Department’s vintage red fire truck, decked out with thousands of lights. Meet him at the corner of Second and Sherman Avenue from 4-6 pm and your children can whisper their Christmas list in his ear and you might just be able to capture your Christmas card photo, and cross that off your list. t
Traditions of Christmas Delivers Big City Entertainment The sixth annual show returns to Coeur d’Alene starting December 8
I
f a trip to New York City to see the Rockette’s Christmas Spectacular isn’t in the budget this year, don’t despair. A short drive to Coeur d’Alene is all that’s required to experience a Radio City Music Hall-style show, complete with dazzling kickline tap numbers, spectacular sets and talented cast of more than 70 performers. In addition
Art Walk Opening Reception DECEMBER 8
The final ArtWalk of the year is an easy walk from one gallery to the next amidst shops and streets wearing their holiday finery, with plenty of places to stop for a bite to eat. Most ArtWalk venues offer complimentary wine and an opportunity to meet with the artists. Free; 5-8 pm.
to showcasing holiday classics with impressively choreographed dance numbers, Traditions of Christmas will also honor the U.S. military with a moving USO tribute. t Tickets $20-$36; Dec. 8-10, 15-17 and 2123; show times vary; Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd., Coeur d’Alene.
The Worst (Murderous) Holiday Pageant Ever DECEMBER 15
This murder mystery hosted by Coeur d’Alene Cellars puts the ho-ho-ho in your holiday with a wacky production that invites you to dress up and play along. One house drink included with ticket; additional drinks and appetizers available for purchase. Tickets $40; Dec.; 7-10 pm.
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Coeur d’Alene Holiday Makers Market DECEMBER 10
Local and loving it. Celebrate community and support local artists at the holiday Makers Market at the Coeur d’Alene Resort convention center. Brows work by more than 60 vendors producing unique jewelry, clothing, cards, home furnishings and more. Free; 10 am-4 pm; The Coeur d’Alene Resort
MAY ALL YOUR
CHRISTMASES This year, every Holiday Light Show cruise includes a magical fireworks display. Ignite your holiday spirit at the Coeur d’Alene Resort.
S TA Y & CRUISE PA C K A G E S
S TA R T I N G A T
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Includes: overnight accommodations, 2 Journey to the North Pole Cruise tickets, a $30 breakfast credit and milk & cookie delivery by Santa’s Elves!
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DECEMBER 7, 2017 INLANDER 71