Inlander 12/10/2015 by The Inlander

NEWS

Who will follow in Elson Floyd’s footsteps? PAGE 13

CULTURE

Binge-watching Bing’s holiday movies PAGE 47

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INSIDE VOL. 23, NO. 8 | ON THE COVER: JEFF DREW ILLUSTRATION

COMMENT NEWS GIFT GUIDE CULTURE

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FOOD FILM MUSIC EVENTS

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Suzette Alfonso

pparently I’m not alone: GIFT GIVING is stressful, according to 84 percent of consumers in a recent study. It’s not just about the money or whether the person will like what we got them. The neurotic among us also worry about a gift’s subtext — and its unintended messages. Will Uncle John think I’m judging him by gifting this particular book? Or will Aunt Tiffany think I’m showing off by buying something a little too nice? Well, the writers of the Inlander are taking the pressure off you with this year’s massive gift guide (page 22). There are suggestions for everyone on your list: drunk uncles, health nuts, cat ladies, selfie-obsessed teens, stylish grandmas, even professional potheads. If anyone complains about your gift, tell them to write a letter to the editor. Also this week: New details about the culture inside the Spokane Police Department under ousted Police Chief FRANK STRAUB, including the first substantive interview with the woman who accused him of sexual harassment. Read our full report on page 20. — JACOB H. FRIES, editor

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Arena Roundtable

1995-2015

CELEBRATING 20 YEARS The following was a roundtable discussion about the future of the Spokane Arena with some of the people who know it best: General Manager Matt Gibson, Marketing Manager Becca Watters, Dave Pier (Spokane Chiefs), Josh Clayton and Ryan Eucker (Spokane Shock), and event promoter Chris Moore of CMoore Live.

What has helped build the Spokane Arena’s success? Becca Watters: Our guests are our biggest ambassadors. So we do a lot of training throughout the year and reinforce the messages that we want our staff to promote. And that’s not just for our frontof-house guests, who are the people buying tickets. That’s also true for our back-of-house guests — the promoters, the production managers, the performers. Chris Moore: In the event industry, the Arena has a reputation for super-serving its clients. It has a world-class team that’s willing to go the extra mile to make a concert, family show or sporting event a success. Plus, it has a beautiful, state-ofthe-art facility that the community has responded to. Dave Pier: Most people who come in the building think it’s five years old, and yet here we are celebrating its 20th anniversary. That attitude — always being

fresh, always being new, always catering to the fans — is what has made the Arena the entertainment icon that it is. The question has always been, “What’s next? What do we need to be prepared for?” Josh Clayton: That’s why people get excited to come to Spokane. It’s the facility itself, but it’s also the backstage staff, the tech crew, the customer service and the community support in general. Ryan Eucker: It’s true. CBS and ESPN want to come to Spokane because they know how hard we work and how they’ll be treated. I’ve been to Philadelphia. I’ve been to Anaheim. The best experience is with the Spokane Arena. Matt Gibson: Providing that welcoming experience for everyone is important. Events like graduations, the Band and Strings Spectacular and Tom’s Turkey Drive — it’s about doing those things for the community and not being exclusive. We recognize that without the people of Spokane supporting the venue, we wouldn’t be here.

What will the future require for the Arena to stay successful? Matt Gibson: People aren’t just buying a ticket and going to a show anymore. They

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want an experience, to be part of things, and they expect nothing less. We have to be smart enough to bring in the content that people are clamoring for. Becca Watters: That’s not limited to concerts, either. We need to maintain a full, rounded schedule of events, including family shows and unique experiences like Walking with Dinosaurs that everyone can enjoy. Chris Moore: And, like the audience, the artists and promoters need to keep having great experiences — artistically and financially. Josh Clayton: From a sports perspective, it’s important for the community to have a year-round connection with their local team. It’s not just a football game or a hockey game, it’s an opportunity for fans to get to know players and almost be in the game themselves. Ryan Eucker: As the Arena adds more technology and features, like the new video wall, it allows us to create that fun, immersive experience by harnessing those elements. Dave Pier: Exactly. If you’re standing still, you’re going backwards. We know that 10 years from now, the building will be different. Entertainment changes all the time, and the Arena will evolve to remain competitive and on the cutting edge.

The Chiefs take on their down-the-road rivals, TriCity, in the annual Teddy Bear Toss game. Sat., Dec. 12. Tickets: $10-$22.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s been an epic year at the Arena, celebrating 20 years of serving the Inland Northwest. Stay tuned for more great events in 2016!

COMMENT STAFF DIRECTORY PHONE: 509-325-0634 Ted S. McGregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com)

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he word “establishment” has gotten a raw deal in today’s political environment. Some consider “outsiders” to be purer and better leaders, untainted by national debt, not responsible for past governmental problems, offering different approaches to national and international policy issues, unsullied by history. With national polls reflecting preference for outsider Republican candidates, danger exists that Republicans will choose an outsider nominee and assure that their Democratic opponent becomes president. This would destroy their romantic notion that an outsider would automatically shrink the federal government and make it stronger internationally and less intrusive at home. Candidates naive about public policy soon lose public support. The recent terrorist attacks in Paris show us why the right kind of establishment candidate is America’s best choice next year. “Establishment” is best defined as the existing power structure of an organization, and includes supporters of traditional management practices, knowledge of how such management systems work, and having the means to support them. When Paris was attacked, the establishment government there leapt into action, marshaling resources, convening strategy meetings and imposing policies intended to control the mayhem affecting their citizens. Worldwide, people looked to their establishment leaders in this acute time of crisis. Other establishment governments offered assistance. But that’s what effective establishment leaders do — using familiarity with the resources at hand to protect the public. Threatened and frightened citizens often turn to the most experienced and trustworthy, who have proven ability.

olls consistently show that 25 percent to 30 percent support exists today for outsider Republican candidates Donald Trump and Ben Carson. Both men have records of private accomplishment, but lack what so many of their supporters revile — government service. They’ve faced — and met — crises in their own lives, but not public crises. Establishment Republicans Jeb Bush, John Kasich and Chris Christie, and to a lesser extent, Marco Rubio, Lindsey Graham, Rand Paul and Ted Cruz, have experience dealing with public problems. Citizens of their respective states have rightly called on them for help. They’ve been valuable resources in a crisis. America will face numerous national and international challenges ahead, requiring the best values and experience at our nation’s disposal. If a minority of Republicans nominate an outsider because we’re unhappy with the past eight years or disgusted with America’s diminished standing in the world, that’s akin to conditions that exist in the U.S. House of Representatives today, where less than 50 conservative representatives identified with the Freedom Caucus seek to impose their will on the majority of establishment members, oftentimes thwarting the majority

6 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015 CityOfSpokane(PoliceChief)_120315_4S_CPW.pdf

viewpoint. Insistence on ultra-conservative policies has resulted in greater political polarization, underscoring the continually low public approval ratings for Congress. Those policies have also falsely defined Republicans on a range of issues. Complaining about anything conventional has become a badge of honor for some. Ted Cruz proudly runs for president as a disrupting, negative force — attractive to his supporters, but dangerous for the orderly operation of efficient governance. He’s a reliable, self-promoting critic of all things conventional, railing against tradition, compassion and order. As president, he’d shake up — and break — America. Donald Trump is used to buying whatever he wants. Presidents, however, can’t do that — they must work within the Constitution. Ben Carson is a nice and accomplished man without a clue about how government works, especially foreign affairs. He’d have to spend two years learning about government complexities and how to manage thousands of federal government employees. Voters should listen carefully to what establishment candidates say — and analyze what they’ve done. Just because a candidate has prior government service doesn’t mean that candidate isn’t conservative or opposes conservative viewpoints on issues facing America. Conservatism without experience equals experimentation.

ne thing most conservatives — tea party and Freedom Caucus members alike — agree on is that Ronald Reagan is an icon of the conservative movement. Many quote him today and extol his virtues. Yet Reagan was establishment through and through — a former governor and private sector success who knew enough about government to try to fix it by carefully crafting conservative ideas and leadership qualities. Ronald Reagan without government and leadership experience would likely have floundered as president. Too many Republican presidential candidates today think that complaining about government is the same as having a realistic plan to fix it. Those who have labored as conservatives in government are best equipped to offer policies that will help overcome America’s shortcomings and move America forward. They shouldn’t be rejected out of hand because they have government experience. If America suffers more terrorism in the days and months ahead, reliable, conservative, experienced leadership will be required that can marshal governmental resources, adopt sensible policies and make Americans proud again. n

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Strategic Decisions BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

e-invading the Middle East is back on the table for America in the wake of the San Bernardino terrorist attack. A new CNN poll shows that, for the first time, a majority of Americans want to send ground troops to fight ISIS. Of course, this comes during this super-heated presidential election, and about seven in 10 Republicans polled favored ground troops, while just 36 percent of Democrats did. Still, these sentiments have a way of trickling up, and the fires will only be stoked more as candidates try to out-tough each other. Already they are debating whether banning an entire religion or carpet-bombing the Middle East would be best. We need to fight this war carefully, as another challenge to world peace — not as some kind of prelude to “end times.” And it is war. Terrorists have declared war on Western civilization, including France, Russia, the UK, Israel and all nations that treasure peace. But it’s not our grandparents’ war. Here in the week of the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, it’s clear how much things have changed. Our enemies today won’t take on our military, because they will lose. Instead, they murder innocents to sow fear and overreaction. They would love to draw America into a quagmire — they don’t care how many people they lose, as they don’t value human life. It’s about twisted ideology and power — the same stuff that has driven all of history’s most dangerous villains. At our military academies, we teach every generation how not to fall into the trap of refighting the last war. And our last war was the invasion of Iraq, fought to make the Middle East safe for something closer to democracy. Mistakes were made, and we have to learn from them. Another lesson: We have to win the peace that comes after the fight, relying on wisdom and generosity to guide us. So it makes sense that this war is being prosecuted differently. Our special forces are supporting local armies who hate ISIS as much as we do. We’re using drones and air power when appropriate, despite the moral ambiguities of this tactic. And now we’re capitalizing on our enemies’ decision to attack other nations, from France to Russia, by creating a more determined coalition that happens to be the most formidable military force in world history. Many of President Obama’s military advisers fought in Iraq, and they have told him that sending ground troops to the Middle East would be “a mistake.” This is a long project for the democracies of the world, and pushing for a quick fix betrays a lack of understanding about a region that’s been trouble since the fall of the Ottoman Empire.  JEN SORENSON CARTOON

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DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 7

COMMENT | POLICING

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

We Can Do Better Spokane deserves the most ethical and highly trained police force; let’s set the standard for other cities BY TARA DOWD

ere’s the thing about the issues the Spokane Police Department is experiencing: The citizens of Spokane will pay the price of the moral and ethical transgressions of recent events. And the citizens who will pay the highest price will be marginalized communities. First, at a party attended by mostly police officers, a woman, also a police officer, is allegedly sexually

assaulted by a colleague. Then there was an apparent cover-up of the alleged assault by the suspect and fellow officers. We could break this down a hundred different ways, but to me, the most important part of this to unpack is that off-duty officers allegedly felt comfortable enough and powerful enough to do harm to a woman, a fellow member of the force. The audacity of that is almost incomprehensible. Think of how much misogynistic ideology these men would need to possess to treat a fellow officer that way.

And now we watch as the mayor of Spokane, David Condon, and his administration face an investigation because Frank Straub, his handpicked former police chief, was accused of sexual misconduct and his administration allegedly covered it up. Anyone else not at all surprised that officers who had been under Straub’s command have also been accused of sexual assault? It’s clear that the Condon administration, and the police department especially, think that women are second-class citizens. If I were a woman on the force, I would have serious concerns about my safety and agency over my own body. Heck, as a female citizen, I have concerns. How can the police department and Condon think that women can feel safe with police officers after recent events? Now remember that this police department has a certain pattern in regards to marginalized communities. Remember Otto Zehm, the man with developmental disabilities who died after being beaten by Spokane police? Remember Shonto Pete, the Native American man who was shot in the back of the head while trying to run away from an off-duty police officer, who against department policy was carrying a gun in a bar? These examples tell the story of a police department that has a moral, training and communication problem related to the Native American community, the disabled community and now, women. As citizens we must demand that our moral, ethical and training standards be stringent enough that the agents of our city do not behave in such reprehensible ways toward anyone. We must demand that Mayor Condon hold the next leader of our police force to a higher standard. But we can’t stop there. We must demand that the right training and support is provided to the whole force, because this is a systemic and environmental issue. Just changing the leadership will not produce the kind of long-term change that we need. Now, I know that there are going to be people who are upset that I’m judging the whole force by the acts of a few. And I would agree; usually that is what I call stereotyping, and is not helpful in dealing with people who are different. But in this instance, as a taxpayer and a concerned citizen, it is my duty to ensure that those without a voice can be heard. And I believe that the good cops on the force are just waiting for the right leadership to come along so that they can be a part of the change that leads to a strong, highly trained and morally and ethically strong police force.  Tara Dowd, an enrolled Inupiaq Eskimo, was born into poverty and now owns a diversity consulting business. She is an advocate for systemic equity and sees justice as a force that makes communities better.

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Snow Removal Info Residential Snow Snow Residen al Parking Guide Guide Parking

Parking Tips for Odd Snow Seasons Sec on 1 N-S Streets - West Side E-W Streets - South Side

Snow Line –- (509) 625-7737 www.SpokaneCity.org/Streets www.SpokaneStreetDepartment.org

Sec on 2 N-S Streets - West Side E-W Streets - North Side Sec on 3 N-S Streets - East Side E-W Streets - North Side

ve S h aw nee A

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Hawthorne Rd

THIS IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT: The information shown on this map is compiled from various sources and is subject to constant revision. Information shown on this map should not be used to determine the location of facilities in relationship to property lines, section lines, streets, etc.

The City’s defined snow season runs from Nov. 15 to March 15 each winter. The City will declare a snow event when snowfall reaches certain levels. Stage 1—A Stage 1 Snow Event is called when 2 inches of snow are on the ground and 4 more inches are anticipated during the current snow event. Stage 2—A Stage 2 Snow Event is called when 6 inches of snow are on the ground and more is anticipated during the current snow event. Snow Corridor Plan—Is implemented when City crews cannot effectively keep arterials clear because of weather conditions. Crews will concentrate on identified routes that citizens can rely on until conditions improve.

The City will:

Stage 1 Snow Event • Notify citizens of the snow event. • Plow arterials and fixed STA bus routes on a 20-hour schedule until complete. • Supplement Street crews with crews from other City departments, as needed. • Plow Neighborhood Business Districts to the curb, as part of the arterial routes. • Plow around hospitals and in medical district, as needed. • Plow residential hills (routes 20 and above). • Clear snow in Central Business District using de-icer or by plowing to the center of the street. • Clear sidewalks around priority City-owned property within 24 hours. Stage 2 Snow Event • Notify citizens of changing snow event. • Immediately embark on a full-City plow. A full-City plow will take about 4 days of 24-hour operation, depending on weather conditions. • Bring in private contractors to supplement City crews. • Clear sidewalks around City-owned property within 24 hours. • Be ready to implement the “Snow Corridor Plan,” if weather conditions severely restrict the City’s ability to keep up with snowfall.

Citizens, meanwhile, will be asked to:

Stage 1 Snow Event • Move parked cars off all arterials and fixed STA bus routes within 6 hours. • Move parked cars in residential hill routes (routes 20 and above) to one side of the street within 6 hours. (Odd side of the street during odd seasons—2015-16.) • Clear sidewalks of snow within 24 hours. Stage 2 Snow Event • Keep parked cars off of all arterials and fixed STA bus routes. • Move vehicles out of downtown street parking spaces between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. • Move parked cars in residential areas to one side of the street within 6 hours. (Odd side of the street during odd seasons—2015-16.) • Clear sidewalks of snow within 24 hours. • Clear snow off of vehicles that are parked along the street. • Clear snow from around curb ramps, fire hydrants, storm drains, and mail boxes. The City may ticket and/or tow for failing to comply with things like parking restrictions. Additionally, tickets may be issued for not clearing sidewalks.

Snow Line (509) 625-7737 • www.SpokaneCity.org • Follow us on Twitter/SpokaneCity • Like us on Facebook/SpokaneCity

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

SECRET’S OUT really wish I could say I’m shocked, but of course I’m not. I didn’t vote

to re-elect our boy mayor, pretty much because I had concerns when he made a backdoor deal with a developer to reimburse environment fees. He got caught and it didn’t go through. Good job, city council. However, this entire situation with all of the parties involved is beyond belief. How could any of them, from Mr. Bob Dunn, Ms. Monique Cotton and Spokane Mayor David Condon think they could keep this a secret? This is purely adolescent behavior by all of them. Really. Last but not least, our former police chief is vilified in a really nasty way without an investigation. Once again, the citizens will pay millions in damages. JOSEPH J. FORD Spokane, Wash.

We asked Inlander readers: What should be done to prevent mass shootings?

TAVIS YOSHI WHITE: Teach appreciation for life. Educate the individual. The removal of the weapon does not prevent the act of mass murder. ERIC ELDRED: Well, certainly not taking away our rights to have firearms. Bad guys will always have access... It would only get worse! Ensure all Americans go through firearm safety if need be, and arm everyone! Watch these issues go away when the bad guy fears everyone else may have a weapon. NATE BARNES: Nothing. Cali has some of the strictest gun control laws out there. You can’t stop someone with crazy in their eyes. If they want it bad enough, it’s going to happen. The guns are not the problem, it’s the thought of hate and doing harm to others. MJ CRITES: A public health campaign modeled after the successful ones we’ve had for smoking, HIV, seatbelt use, and drunk driving that focused on proper and safe gun storage would also help. A public health campaign can be done at the local level without approval from anyone outside the area, with local funds, and doesn’t “take” anything from anyone. CODY DEASY: We need more guns to combat gun violence! Also, every workplace needs a flame thrower to combat fires. Fires happen and you can’t prevent them, so might as well burn the whole place down. LUCAS MCINTYRE: As long as we allow ourselves to be polarized by those who have a financial interest in there being more guns, we can’t do anything. The statistics show a dwindling number of Americans own a firearm, but the percentage that does owns something like seven firearms each. 

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 11 NorthernQuest_LyleLovett_121015_12V_CPW.tif

12 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

HIGHER EDUCATION

Giant Shoes

The university wants a new president who can embrace Elson Floyd’s legacy without living in his shadow BY TARYN PHANEUF

ashington State University grew accustomed to the character and vision of President Elson Floyd. He set the university on a path: He lobbied for a medical school, uncovered gaps in research and economic development, stabilized relations with state lawmakers and fit in with any group, from industry leaders to students. But all his ambitions and plans are in the hands of the next president — whoever that may be. A committee spent September through November pulling together opinions and insight from every corner of the state to determine what kind of leader people want. The conclusion

draw the right person to the university. They need someone who isn’t easily intimidated. After Floyd, people realize they need someone to be his or her own kind of leader, says John Gardner, CEO of the WSU Foundation, who came with Floyd from the University of Missouri in 2007. “It’ll have to be someone who has enough confidence that it doesn’t seem threatening to follow someone like President Floyd — who can continue marching this university in their own way toward the same destination,” says Gardner.

A JOB DESCRIPTION was decisive: They imagine a president who will steer WSU toward the destiny Floyd designed. “President Floyd will be a bit of a hard act to follow, as they say,” says WSU Spokane Chancellor Lisa Brown of Floyd, who died at 59 of cancer in June. The next president will face challenges from all sides. A growing student body and an expanding statewide system combine with changes in higher education that have been building over the last decade, making the executive’s job more complex. Mike Worthy, a member of the Board of Regents who’s leading the presidential search advisory committee, says those circumstances likely will

The 25-member search committee will start reviewing applicants soon. Working with the executive search firm Isaacson, Miller, the committee distributed a job description during Thanksgiving week. The group will narrow the applicant pool to three or four candidates who will meet the Board of Regents, which plans to make its final selection by the end of the spring semester. “People often say — they refer to Elson Floyd as visionary,” Worthy says. “I think that’s absolutely accurate, but that’s pretty obtuse for a job description.” While “visionary” is equally difficult to articulate on a résumé, Worthy says they’ll look for someone with a ...continued on next page

WSU students in Pullman. DAN O’LEARY PHOTO

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proven record. The committee hopes to attract applicants already holding presidential posts at other colleges and universities, Worthy says. They’ve already identified some. University presidents’ roles make them more like CEOs than professors, but many people want their executive to come from academia. That includes a faction at WSU, Worthy says. But he was surprised to hear that most people are open to a different pedigree, if that candidate were the best choice. “Some of our most senior and prestigious faculty members said it’s not important that they come with a strong academic background,” Worthy says. “One person said to me … that in some instances academics are boring — and that’s not to say a bad thing about academics, but it’s a fact. We’ve got to find someone who has a certain amount of charisma so they can move us forward.” Gardner and Worthy believe they’ll have no trouble attracting a new “big thinker.” The university already proved it could when it hired Floyd. The regents also proved they will support an ambitious leader — and compensate handsomely. In 2014, Floyd’s salary was $725,000, making him the fourth-highest-paid public university president in the nation.

‘PRESSING PROBLEMS’

When the state legislature ordered reduced tuition for WSU this year but didn’t take it out of allocations to the university’s budget, it signaled a kind of change that public colleges and universities hope for across the country. For 15 years, legislators slashed funding

for higher education as other priorities took precedence, Worthy says. Schools made up for it by raising tuition, admitting more students and looking for private funding. In short, they started acting like private schools. Gardner says state legislators justified cutting higher education because they saw college as a private good instead of a public one. But Floyd became more and more convinced throughout his career that this was wrong. While serving as president at the University of Missouri, Floyd unveiled the “fourth mission,” Gardner says. Land-grant institutions, like Missouri and WSU, were founded to provide teaching, research and outreach. Floyd added economic development. He brought that mission to Washington, where he convinced everyone of WSU’s statewide potential. Gardner points to the concluded $1 billion campaign, which leveraged private funding for public initiatives, such as research and student access, and the medical school, conceived to address a need in the state. “There are some who think WSU is just trying to expand its kingdom and scope beyond what it should,” Gardner says. “What we do is find the most pressing problems in our economy … and ensure that the university is doing everything it can to make lives better — to make the economy better — to make it a better place to live.” Already committed to this massive undertaking, Worthy says the next president will have to navigate the university’s “growing pains.” After 25 years, its branch campuses in the Tri-Cities, Spokane and Vancouver have come into their own, but they’ll need more attention as

In June, Elson Floyd died at 59 of cancer. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

they add infrastructure and consider new programs. Brown sees that growth as an ongoing redefinition of the system’s purpose and priorities. The university needs a president who understands that and will deliver all the necessary support to make it happen. “For WSU, it’s … appreciating the value of having this whole statewide system that you can draw upon for our different kinds of strengths and specialties. But it’s obviously more complicated than one big campus,” she says. “[The branches] were authorized by the legislature 25 years ago, but really there’s a whole period of building and advancing and figuring out our mission.” That grand scope will draw the new president’s eyes to big pictures and long-term planning, but he or she also will encounter expectations on a smaller scale. Ones that align more with tradition. While students support WSU’s aspirations, they have their own priorities — issues like tuition, mental health, sexual assault and accusations of an unwelcoming campus climate by underrepresented groups, says Samantha Kieling, vice president of the Associated Students of WSU. President Floyd had a way of making himself available to students so they felt heard, she says. He attended ASWSU meetings every semester and sided with students over other administrators at least once when those administrators ignored complaints. “Students want a president who is accessible to them and listens to them and [who maintains] the overall feel that [Floyd] had of being the students’ president,” Kieling says. Pullman Mayor Glenn Johnson wants the new president to make more time for the city. He says the two executives worked well together, and Floyd acted when problems arose over the years. But his administration more than once made decisions without consulting city officials, and Floyd never attended a big annual function that was important to his predecessors. “It’d be nice to have the next president pay a little bit more attention to the city. That wasn’t on Elson’s agenda,” Johnson says. “Times have changed.” n

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 15

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BOOK ’EM Last week, Spokane Police Sgt. Gordon Ennis was booked into jail after turning himself in on charges of second-degree RAPE. He was released 10 minutes later, per an agreement between attorneys. Ennis has since pleaded not guilty, and his trial is scheduled for Feb. 29. Meanwhile, SPD Sgt. John Gately has also been charged with felony rendering criminal assistance and obstruction for his alleged role in tipping Ennis off to a search warrant. Gately has not been booked, but joined Ennis on unpaid leave status. Follow these stories on our blog as they develop. (MITCH RYALS)

CANCER OR COLLEGE A group wants to lower college tuition in IDAHO by bumping up the tax on cigarettes and using money saved on health care toward public universities and colleges. Based on similar actions taken in Arizona and Utah, the leader of stoptuitionhikes.com, Bill Moran, who is trying to get this initiative on the ballot, believes 9,000 Idahoans would quit smoking with this tax increase. Moran wants to see the cigarette tax go from 57 cents to $2.07 per pack. This would make a pack of cigarettes in Idaho about $6.48. (QUINN WESTERN)

NEWS | BRIEFS

Left Behind Congress opens a new chapter in education; plus, the Spokane County Jail settles a lawsuit CRUDE BEHAVIOR

A state regulatory agency has slapped BNSF RAILWAY, a Texas-based railroad company that’s been transporting an increasing number of volatile shipments of oil through Spokane, with a $71,700 penalty for not promptly reporting numerous hazardous material spills. The Utilities and Transportation Commission, which overees railroad safety in Washington state, approved the penalty on Monday for failing to report releases of dangerous materials, including crude oil, to regulatory authorities within the time frame required by law. The order approving the penalties also requires BNSF to file a document describing the best practices the company will adopt going forward to stay in compliance. Under state rail safety rules, railroads must report the release of any hazardous materials to the Washington State Emergency Operations Center within 30 minutes. In March, a complaint was filed against the company that alleged BNSF failed to report the release of hazardous materials within the required time period. Courtney Wallace, BNSF regional director of public affairs, tells the Inlander that the company is still assessing the order and how it will respond. She adds, “For BNSF,

we take our responsibility very seriously when adhering to regulatory agencies at the state and federal level.” (JAKE THOMAS)

LEAVING “NO CHILD” BEHIND

As of this Tuesday, Washington U.S. Sen. PATTY MURRAY was preparing for a vote on something both liberals and conservatives had been demanding for years. No Child Left Behind was on its way out. The Every Student Succeeds Act was on its way in. “The Every Student Succeeds Act will put an end to the one-size-fits-all mandates of No Child Left Behind,” Murray, a creator of the legislation, said on the Senate floor Tuesday. “Our bipartisan bill will also reduce reliance on high-stakes testing, so teachers and students can spend less time on test prep and more time on learning.” In 2001, No Child Left Behind also was a bipartisan bill. It required an increasing number of students to pass state standardized tests in each school. If any given school didn’t show enough progress, they’d be labeled “failing” and face sanctions. But by 2014, the No Child Left Behind standard had risen so high that if a single student failed the test, the school would be labeled “failing.” The Obama administration responded by giving states conditional waivers. The Washington State Legislature, however, refused to abide by the condition that the state use standardized tests in teacher evaluations, and lost its waiver. The Every Student Succeeds Act gets rid of waivers and allows states to work with districts to design their own goals for student achievement, with special attention given to the bottom 5 percent of low-performing schools. Rep. Chris Reykdal, D-Tumwater, running for state Superintendent of Public Instruction next year, says the bill correctly gives more power to states, while keeping

the important role that the federal government plays in making sure low-income and minority students get the education they deserve. “We can shout out from the rooftops that states should control education — and I believe that — until Alabama stops serving students,” Reykdal says. (DANIEL WALTERS)

IT’S SETTLED

While he was incarcerated in 2013, Danny Lee went 10 days without his MEDICATION. He filed a lawsuit claiming that the Spokane County Jail denied him the medication he needed for bipolar disorder and other impulse disorders. He and the county reached a settlement on Tuesday for $50,000. “What would have happened if that was heart medicine or diabetes medicine, and he were to expire?” says Robert Lee, Danny’s father. Robert Lee won a settlement a few months ago regarding a public records request he filed regarding the same incident. The county did not give the correct information, and he received $28,000 in the lawsuit. “[Danny] felt like it wasn’t enough, not only in the monetary way, but in the way that they don’t have to follow through with stuff inside the jail,” Robert Lee says. While there wasn’t a court order, the jail has made some changes, says Jeffry Finer, a lawyer at the Center for Justice and Danny Lee’s representative. The jail has upgraded to an electronic record-keeping system at the Geiger Corrections Center and an online form to streamline the process of requesting medications, and the jail is working on acquiring more nurses. “I think in large part, mental health is pushed too much to the background with jail authorities and society at large,” Finer says. (QUINN WESTERN)

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NEWS | DEBT

Carl Parks just wanted to have some relatively minor adjustments made to his credit report. What he got has left him in a state of panic. JAKE THOMAS PHOTO

Where Credit is Due A major credit reporting agency told a Sprague man he owes half a million dollars in debt. The only problem? He says none of it is his BY JAKE THOMAS

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18 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

arl Parks will admit he doesn’t have the best credit –– but he doesn’t have the worst. All he wanted was a few blemishes removed from his credit report. Instead he got a half million dollars in debt owed by people he’s never met. Earlier this year, Parks, a 53-year-old truck driver, hired a law firm specializing in credit repair to remove a few dings that a divorce had left on his credit report, a document that lenders use when determining if someone is safe enough to make a loan to for a house, car or other large purchases. In March, Parks says that Equifax, a Georgia-based company that is one of the country’s three biggest credit reporting agencies, responded to his attempt to revise his credit report with 40 envelopes that trickled in over the course of a few days to his P.O. box. At first, Parks ignored the mail, which was a foot tall when stacked up in his Sprague home. On a Saturday night, he began opening the envelopes. Each contained a cover sheet addressed to him, stating that Equifax had determined he owed money on mortgages, car and student loans, court judgments and bankruptcies, all owned by complete strangers. Each letter was accompanied with a credit report complete with Social Security numbers, home addresses, credit card numbers, maiden names, dates of birth and other sensitive information belonging to people across the country. According to the letters, he owed a grand total of $510,000. “I was freaking out,” recalls Parks, who’s been worried since then that he could be taken to court for any of these debts. “I’m still freaking out.” Alarmed by the letters, Parks contacted the firm he initially hired to repair his credit. Their response: “We’ve never ever seen

anything like this. We can’t do anything.” Parks says he contacted Equifax and received a confusing letter asking him to send back the credit reports, but the letter didn’t say if he actually owed the money. Parks found a lawyer specializing in debt collection who has now filed a lawsuit in federal court against Equifax, which didn’t respond to multiple requests for comment. “But to this day I haven’t heard anything from them,” says Parks of Equifax, which he says has ignored his request for a credit report to see if he, in fact, still owes the money. Parks isn’t alone. A similar incident occurred in Maine, and consumer attorneys say there could be others.

arks’ new lawyer is Robert Mitchell, a Spokane attorney who specializes in defending consumers facing debt collection cases. Mitchell says he’s never seen anything like this case, and it’s particularly troublesome because so much sensitive consumer information was sent out by Equifax. “I think this should scare the crap out of consumers,” says Mitchell. “This wasn’t an outside hacker group [that sent these reports out].” Mitchell says that the Social Security numbers and other personal information belonging to people scattered across the country — information that was mailed to Parks — would have been a gift to someone with an inclination to commit identity theft. After taking the case, Mitchell says he began contacting the LETTERS individuals whose credit reports Send comments to were sent to Parks. “One editor@inlander.com. couple was so freaked out that they showed up at my Spokane office [from Alaska],” he says. “Equifax is being tight-lipped,” says Mitchell. “And I think I’ll get more when I do the deposition in Georgia.” The only information that Mitchell says he’s gotten out of Equifax is that a computer error was responsible for the credit reports having been sent. However, Mitchell says Equifax still hasn’t provided Parks with his credit report, and as things stand he’s on the hook for a half-million dollars. In October, Mitchell filed a lawsuit on behalf of Parks against Equifax in federal court for violations of the federal Fair Credit Reporting Act. SaraEllen Hutchison, a Seattle-based consumer protection attorney who also represents Parks, says that while this incident is unusual, there is at least one similar to it, and more could be revealed as the case progresses in court. This past spring, a woman in Biddeford, Maine, received 300 pieces of mail from Equifax containing credit reports from strangers after she requested her credit report from the company. After the incident received media exposure, Maine’s Bureau of Consumer Credit Protection opened an investigation. William Lund, the bureau’s superintendent, says that Equifax wasn’t penalized after the investigation’s conclusion. The consumer who erroneously received the credit reports realized a mistake had been made and didn’t even open most of the envelopes, he says. Because it was such a rare situation that was quickly identified and corrected, he says it didn’t warrant a penalty. Lund also says that consumers expect credit reports to be sent out speedily, and that can come with a price. “So speed often means automation, and automation means a small error becomes a big error,” he says.

DINNER SHOW

n Washington state, no investigation has been opened into the incident involving Parks or any others like it, according to Peter Lavallee, communications director for the Washington state attorney general. Parks says that ever since he was sent the stack of credit reports and the corresponding $510,000 in debt, he’s been mired in a state of panic, worried that a creditor or collector will take him to court on a debt owed by someone he’s never even met. He says it’s caused his diabetes to flare up and his back problems to worsen; he’s been unable to work since July. “It’s working on me and working on me and eating me up,” says Parks. 

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 19

NEWS | POLICE

Cop Culture

Monique Cotton and others within the Spokane Police Department speak out for the first time, adding to the calls for a cultural audit of the department BY DANIEL WALTERS AND MITCH RYALS

onique Cotton didn’t want to tell anybody. She says she did her best to handle on her own the constant criticism, hostility, obscenity-laced tirades and “advances” from her boss, former Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub. In several conversations with Straub, she tried to make clear that his advances were unwelcomed, she tells the Inlander. The final straw came in March of this year when, according to recently released public records, Straub profanely blew up at Cotton and several senior officers.

Frank Straub was forced out as Spokane’s police chief on Sept. 22.

20 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

Days later, she was sitting across from Mayor David Condon, telling him about the culture fostered under Straub’s regime. “I was terrified when I came forward,” Cotton says. “I retained counsel because I was scared for my safety and for my job. I had seen others transferred, demoted and fired, and I didn’t want that to be me.” Despite privately alleging sexual harassment and retaining an attorney, Cotton has not filed a public claim. The reason, she says, is because she’s not after money — she just wanted to get away from Straub. She’s now speaking about her situation on the record for the first time, after the Inlander let her know that other city employees had raised different accusations against Straub, including: That Straub allegedly referred to former police department executive Carly Cortright using the c-word in front of male officers, according to police Capt. Brad Arleth and Lt. Joe Walker. In executive staff meetings, Straub would reference penis-measuring contests when challenged. Then he’d flop his forearm onto the table, Arleth and Cortright say. In August of 2013, Straub threatened to demote Arleth and fire Cortright after they exchanged a knowing glance and raised eyebrows during another executive meeting. If they didn’t believe him, call back to Indianapolis, Arleth and Cortright recall Straub saying. Straub then used a vulgarity, referring to a person who performs fellatio, to emphasize how difficult he could be, the two say. Cortright, who had worked for the police department for more than a decade before she moved to a new job in City LETTERS Hall two years Send comments to ago, constantly editor@inlander.com. butted heads with Straub over budgetary issues. For her, the culture created under his leadership punished honesty. “The sexually charged language and behavior created another layer of disrespect,” she says. “But the meat of the matter was, ‘You know not to say anything or your turn to be degraded was next.’” Straub, through his attorney, Mary Schultz, has denied Cotton’s accusations of sexual harassment. But there’s one place where Straub and Cotton are united in frustration: There wasn’t any kind of formal investigation into Straub’s behavior. “I went to the mayor fully expecting

the accusations would be enough to launch a human resources investigation,” Cotton says. “I made it very clear I would cooperate in a hostile work environment investigation, and I fully expected someone would ask me questions about what happened to me.” For his part, Mayor Condon has said that the city didn’t conduct a formal investigation into Straub, saying Cotton would not cooperate with a formal complaint. He has noted that his administration did conduct an informal inquiry into the March incident. City spokesman Brian Coddington did not respond to several voicemails and emails seeking comment for this article. City Council President Ben Stuckart, meanwhile, says city officials should have done more in light of Cotton’s allegations. “There should have been a more formal investigation into both the sexual harassment and the non-sexual harassment,” Stuckart says.

TRUSTING STRAUB

Nearly three years ago, the Use of Force Commission — formed by Condon to address years of scandal, cover-up and alleged brutality by the Spokane Police Department — made 26 recommendations. The very first recommendation was to conduct a “culture audit,” a thorough investigation into the informal power structures, motivations and philosophies embedded within the department. But while the Department of Justice had conducted a survey of some officers, a fullscale culture audit never happened. In February, Straub told the commissioners that more than two years of implementing reforms had enabled him to gain a “very good understanding of both the formal and informal culture.” The commission left the choice of whether to do a full audit in Straub’s hands. “We take Chief Straub at his word on this and defer to his judgment about whether or not a formal culture audit of the SPD would still be a cost-effective undertaking,” the Use of Force Commission wrote in a letter to Condon in March. A few weeks later, Condon learned about allegations regarding Straub’s own impact on the department’s culture, that not only had Straub angrily accused Cotton of having “f--ed him in the ass,” he’d also allegedly grabbed Cotton’s “ass” and tried to kiss her. It wasn’t until Oct. 28, more than a month after the mayor forced Straub to resign, that Condon put the notion of a culture audit back on the table. Still, police department critics have seized upon the latest revelations. “Both then and in retrospect, it was a bad decision” not to conduct a culture audit, says Tim Connor, a local activist formerly with the Center for Justice. “This whole thing has been personally really depressing for me.” One Use of Force commissioner, William Hyslop, refrains from casting judgment on the board’s past decisions. “Had everyone known exactly what had occurred, would a culture audit have made a difference?” Hyslop asks. “I’m not going to go back and Monday-morning-quarterback it.” Straub has been widely praised for how,

under his administration, use-of-force incidents and violent crime decreased, and officers received cultural awareness training. But while Ivan Bush, another commission member, applauds Straub’s upfront communication with the commission, he says there’s one thing he wishes would have been done differently. “I would have preferred if the culture audit would have been one of their top priorities, and that doesn’t seem like that happened,” Bush says. “That should have been one of the recommendations that was tackled much earlier on.”

RAPE AND CULTURE

Straub’s critics echo concerns about the department’s internal culture and the light in which it casts women. Arleth suspects that a lot of people just felt they had to put up with Straub’s sexually explicit and demeaning language. “You have to put it in the context of the time,” he says. “The department’s been savaged for 10 years of poor decisions, and then this guy is brought in as a savior. It’s like, ‘What else are you going to do but take it?’” “Cronyism has created a very bad environment that, in my opinion, did not exist before he arrived,” Cortright adds. “The story going on with the sexual assaults — it’s something I don’t see happening prior to Straub.” She’s referring to recent charges against SPD Sgt. Gordon Ennis, who is accused of second-degree rape of a female officer at a party in October. Sgt. John Gately, president of the Spokane Police Guild, is also charged with rendering criminal assistance and obstructing a law enforcement officer for allegedly tipping Ennis off to a forthcoming search warrant. Incidents like these concern veteran female officers like Jennifer DeRuwe, who Cotton had replaced as department spokeswoman. “I worry about what’s going to happen to her in the future,” DeRuwe says of the alleged rape victim. “Is she going to be able to stay in law enforcement and the police department?” DeRuwe says she too once experienced the dilemma of whether to report harassment. She says that back in 1998 and 1999, one of the officers on her patrol team made and continued to make sexual and offensive comments toward her, even after she asked him to stop. But reporting that as a young officer was difficult. “I knew that I would be judged on my reputation and what my peers would think of me. It was a pattern for him,” DeRuwe says. “Nobody else was willing to come forward.” The fact that other women were being victimized led her to file an official complaint. “I’ll take the burden,” DeRuwe says she thought. “I’ll take the stigma.” At first, she says the complaint still wasn’t taken seriously. “I felt I really had to fight to

get heard,” DeRuwe says. “He was so close to my supervisor, so I went to a different sergeant.” The climate is better than it used to be, DeRuwe says, thanks in part to there being more women in the department. But they still only make up 10 percent of the force. Clearly, some are still wary of speaking out. Cotton — caught in a hurricane of media reports, dueling lawyers and community speculation — is in the exact situation she sought so hard to avoid by attempting to keep it all quiet. When asked by the Inlander, she declines to give specifics about the alleged sexual harassment. “I guess all I can say is that I truly understand why those who have experienced harassment don’t come forward,” Cotton says.

HAZY WAY FORWARD

Now, the city is looking to hire a new police chief, another round of public records is scheduled to be released next week, two SPD sergeants are facing felony charges and a $4 million legal claim from Straub for violation of his due process rights hangs in the air. Meanwhile, Condon and Stuckart have asked the U.S. Attorney’s Office to recommend an independent investigator in order to evaluate the city’s handling of Straub’s termination and Cotton’s accusations. The possibility of a culture audit still looms, but it’s on the back burner for now. In October, Condon assigned the task of devel-

E XC L U S I V E

The city employee who accused Spokane’s former police chief of sexual harassment tells the Inlander that she “fully expected” city officials to launch a formal investigation. But that didn’t happen.

“You know not to say anything or your turn to be degraded was next.” oping a culture audit to the Police Leadership Advisory Committee. Yet committee chair Mary Ann Murphy says the work to hire a new police chief — editing job descriptions, holding public forums — must come first. Murphy adds that the committee has asked city staff to help research examples in other communities. Yet after nearly three years, what the audit would look like remains unanswered. Cotton, for one, hopes that any audit is extensive. “I think a cultural audit would be very beneficial,” she says, “and that cultural audit should include the executive leadership” of the department. She’s faced criticism for trying to leverage her accusations into receiving more money from the city, but she says she never asked for a pay increase — that, she says, was City Administrator Theresa Sanders’ idea. Nevertheless, she was given a new job as a spokeswoman in the Parks and Recreation Division and a more than $9,000 bump in salary. “I would not have wanted to leave my job at the police department had it not been for the hostile work environment,” Cotton says. n

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 21

Gift e Guid

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

INSIDE GIFT GUIDE LOCALISTAS

FOODIES

CAT LADIES

DONALD TRUMP

OUTDOORSY TYPES

HEALTH NUTS

SELFIE-OBSESSED TEENS

RELIGIOUS AUNTS

TECHIES

LOCAL SPORTS FANS

Gifts for

r e m a G eeks G

r e t r a C x a By M C

unt Sally, how many times have you found the cutest puzzle for little Joey, only to find that he wanted the new Halo? And Grandpa Albert, what about the time when you bought that expensive pink dress for Daisy, when really all she needed was a new wireless Guitar Hero controller? Chances are that Aunt Sally and Grandpa Albert aren’t the only ones with no clue what to get for their gamer this Christmas.

RETRON 5 BY HYPERKIN

(A) Nineties kids, the wait is over. The RetroN 5 is the new face of retro gaming, allowing gamers to play on 10 retro systems, including NES, SNES, Genesis, Famicom and Game Boy Advance. It has everything a retro gamer could ever ask for: two original controller ports for NES, SNES and Genesis (6 total), one wireless controller for use with any system on the RetroN 5, and most impressive of all, HDMI capability. How can Hyperkin do this legally? The patents for the hardware in these retro systems have expired, leaving the programming and technology up for grabs. $160 • Game World • 5725 E. Sprague

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: HYRULE HISTORIA

(B) Since the arrival of the legendary Link in 1986, Zelda fans worldwide have debated various chronology and details in the kingdom of Hyrule. Featuring an introduction from Shigeru Miyamoto, co-creator of the Zelda franchise, Hyrule Historia is filled with concept art, history and previously unreleased Hyrule chronology. $35 • Auntie’s Bookstore • 402 W. Main

RETRO DONKEY KONG & MARIO POSTER

(C) For those who didn’t know, Mario’s humble beginnings date back to 1981, when he first appeared as “Jumpman” in the original Donkey Kong arcade game. Before Princess Peach’s time, that damsel in distress is actually Mario’s former boo, Pauline. A classic image, this affordable gift is a great throwback option for any adult gamer. $6 • Comic Book Shop • 4750 N. Division

TURTLE BEACH EAR FORCE XL1 HEADPHONES (D) Designed with the casual yet experienced gamer in mind, the XL1s provide the quality and comfort of Turtle Beach headphones for a reasonable price. Exclusively for use with Xbox 360, the XL1 headphones connect with a cord and include a headset microphone as well. $35 • Game World • 5725 E. Sprague

SUPER MARIO 2 & 3

(E) Two of the most iconic video games in the history of video games, these classics are becoming difficult to find in good condition. This package would make an excellent complement to the RetroN 5; quite frankly, if your special gamer wants a RetroN 5, they probably want Super Mario 2 and 3 for NES, too. That’s just how it works. $40 • Trade-A-Game • 5428 E. Sprague

STEAM CREDITS

(F) Perhaps you’ve browsed through these suggestions and still don’t understand anything that you read. That’s OK. Piggybacking on the development of online streaming services like Netflix, Valve Corporation’s Steam platform allows non-console gamers (i.e., people who don’t use a PS4, Xbox, Wii, etc.) to buy games from a massive library and download them to play on their system of choice (PC, Mac or Linux), making this a foolproof gift for any gamer. store.steampowered.com 

DO-GOODING ORGANIZATIONS

PROFESSIONAL POTHEADS

BIKE COMMUTERS

STRANGERS

STYLISH GRANDMAS

DRUNK UNCLES

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 23

C E

Gifts for

Localistas T

he best gifts for her (or him) are those handmade by artisans and crafters right in her own backyard. Not literally, of course, although many of these goods are indeed produced in the backyards, garages and offices of their

08 LEFT AIRPORT PRINT (A)

World explorers, military servicemembers, frequent fliers and lifelong residents of the Northwest can all appreciate the creative offerings of designer Ryan Miller, a Spokane native who founded 08 Left to share his love of travel and pay homage to a lifelong obsession with the wonders of aviation. Miller’s repertoire of 350-plus airport-themed designs can be printed on posters, throw pillows, coasters, T-shirts and sleek sheet-metal wall hangings. The sheer number of design and print options on 08 Left’s website may be overwhelming unless you know exactly what you’re looking for, so try starting with the classic Spokane International Airport (that’s GEG for short) runway/terminal map print, or, for the military folks on your list, a print of Fairchild Air Force Base. (For the uninitiated, Fairchild’s call letters are SKA; don’t ask us why.) $23-$160 • Order online at 08left.com; colors on prints also are customizable.

CRAFT & LORE WALLET (B)

Working with hides from some of the finest tanneries in the U.S., Chad Von Lind creates heritage-quality leather goods — pieces your frugal great-grandpa would be proud to own — at his Coeur d’Alene workbench. This year marks Craft & Lore’s second holiday season, and already orders for Von Lind’s hand-tooled wallets, belts, bags, folios and more are stacking up. Anyone on your list should be flattered to upgrade to one of Craft & Lore’s simple, sturdy Port Wallets; it’ll last for ages. $55-$65 • Order online at craftandlore.com (check the brand’s Facebook page for coupon codes), or ﬁnd at Bulldog Pipe & Cigar in the Silverlake Mall, 200 W. Hanley Ave., CdA

24 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

respective makers. Whether you’re shopping for a cheerleader of all things made in the Inland Northwest, or you’re one of those “shop small” folks looking to spread the local love, the following ideas fit both criteria. — CHEY SCOTT

LOCAL KNITS BEANIE (C)

Snowboarder Ethan Rollins’ handmade winter accessories brand was, like many things, born out of necessity. After his favorite hand-knit beanie wore out, Rollins did what not many others would do: He learned how to knit and crochet so he could make a new one. That project eventually grew into Local Knits, and Rollins still personally handmakes each one of the beanies, scarves, hoodies and caps in Local Knits’ inventory. All are staple pieces during cold Northwest winters, filled with opportunities for seasonal outdoor recreation. Rollins, who relocated to the Spokane area this fall, says he’ll continue to accept custom orders through Dec. 18, but his pre-made color combos and patterns are just as rad. Beanies, $25 • Order online at localknits.com (not currently sold in local stores)

VINTAGE SPOKANE MAP CUFF (D)

The only item on this list that’s not made locally (but should be) was discovered during a curiosity-induced search on Etsy for the keyword “Spokane.” (Pro tip: If the ideas here are already old news, or you’re simply interested in discovering the weird, vintage Spokane ephemera scattered across the Internet, get on the site and do the same.) Created by a vintage map enthusiast from Long Island, New York, this aluminum cuff-style bracelet for guys or gals showcases a snapshot of old downtown Spokane, circa the 1950s. Handmade, unique, vintage-esque and certain to be a conversation starter, your giftee can wear their love for Spokane on their, uh, wrist. $31 • Order online from the Etsy shop decembermoondesign

THE GREAT PNW TEES (E)

The most ardent locals actively seek out opportunities to debate anyone who’d dare to challenge the benefits of living in a part of the country as geographically diverse as the Pacific Northwest. Chances are high that this Mr. Spokane or Miss Inland Empire character we all know would also gladly fill their wardrobe with tastefully designed T-shirts from the minds of Joel and Tori Barbour, owners of the Spokane-based brand The Great PNW. With an abundance of designs, colors and snappy sayings — “Northwest is Best,” “Upper Left USA” — the biggest challenge will be resisting picking up a tee or hoodie for yourself. T-shirts, $28 • Order online at thegreatpnw.com or ﬁnd at Atticus Coﬀee & Gifts, 222 N. Howard

TIFFANY PATTERSON COLORING BOOK (F)

One of the region’s most prolific young artists, Tiffany Patterson’s signature pastel-hued, whimsical creations are seen across the region on billboards, posters, buses, murals and even the occasional Inlander cover. Gift anyone on your list, no matter their age, with the joyful pages of Patterson’s annual coloring book, this year called Animal Groups and their Collective Nouns. (Coloring books for adults to de-stress are kind of a thing these days.) If you or the recipient are inclined to doodle on Patterson’s adorable artwork with the artist in person, she also organizes the monthly Spokane Social Sketch events that are open to all. Find more about that at Facebook.com/socialsketching. $8 • Order online from the Etsy shop CurseWordsAndBirds or ﬁnd at Boo Radley’s, 232 N. Howard Street 

F A B

SHOP

LOCAL C

SHOP

LIBERTY

Gifts for

Foodies F

oodies come in a variety of flavor profiles: gadget masters, spice overlords, cookbook queens. The sophisticate, who pronounces “charcuterie” with aplomb and waxes rhapsodic over the guanciale at so-and-so’s restaurant (where they know the chef, of course). The egalitarian dinner companion, as interested in your dish as their own (sharing is expected). And the omnivore, equally interested in growing, cooking, eating or just discussing anything and everything about food. — CARRIE SCOZZARO

BLUAPPLE STARTER KIT (A)

Excess gas is a problem everyone can relate to. These apple-shaped balls preserve precious fruits and vegetables by absorbing ethylene gas output by ripening produce. So food stays fresh longer, like those fresh herbs your foodie friends have on hand. This might be the first time you’ve been thanked for giving someone blue balls. $18 • The Kitchen Engine • 621 W. Mallon, Suite 416

with herbs, smoked, culled from the sea — and a cooking tool. But a drinking vessel? Yes! Fill with salted caramel apple schnapps or bust out the Alquimia Reserva Tequila and get the party started. $35 for four • Spice & Vine Mercantile (formerly Spice Traders Mercantile) • 15614 E. Sprague, Spokane Valley

STEPHEN SHORTRIDGE “MIDNIGHT SANDWICH” PAINTING (E)

TWISTED WARE TEA TOWELS (B)

Let everyday towels do the dirty work; these are for display, an extension of your character in the kitchen. The towel with the eggbeater next to the command to “Whip It / Whip It Good” is chucklesome, while the f---ity, f---word, f---word, f---word towel says you’re edgy and a little unpredictable. $12 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard

Caravaggio, Pieter Bruegel, Cézanne, Claes Oldenburg: Artists throughout history have been inspired by food ranging from still lifes to Flemish genre paintings. Locally, Stephen Shortridge captures the solitary quiet of the cook’s kitchen after hours in Midnight Sandwich, a lavish, food-themed gift that will never spoil. $1,400 • Painter’s Chair Fine Art Gallery • 223 Sherman Ave., Coeur d’Alene

NORA FLEMING DISHWARE (C)

BIG TABLE UNEXPECTED 20s DONATION (F)

This innovative set of sturdy white dishware lets you keep the focus on the food — just like restaurants do — yet add a little pretty. Customize dishes, serving trays and bakeware as well as home décor like the tissue box cover. Add brightly painted miniature figures — a palm tree for summer, a turkey, the American flag, even football helmets for your favorite team — for every occasion. $20-$54 • Gourmet Way • 8222 N. Government Way, Hayden, Idaho

CARAVEL GOURMET HIMALAYAN SHOT GLASSES (D)

Although salt never really goes out of style, it’s been going gourmet for years as a finishing flavor — infused

You don’t have to go through Big Table to make an immediate difference in the lives of restaurant and hospitality workers, but for the foodie who literally doesn’t need or want anything for themselves, this is a great way to go. Big Table’s Unexpected 20s program is a quick and easy way to say “thank you” to countless servers, dishwashers, cooks and other food industry workers whose holidays are often spent away from family and friends. Download their envelope template, stuff it with a $20 bill and give it away. It’s that simple. Or donate through the site on behalf of the foodie on your gift list, and you’ll both know you’ve nourished something special this holiday. $20 • big-table.com 

Also including Beautiful Grounds and Barrister Tasting Room

ART. BOOKS. GAMES. BEAUTY. DRINKS. DINING. COFFEE. Corner of Main & Washington

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 25

CAT TREAT JAR (A)

A B

The furry feline friends of any reputable cat lady are spoiled beyond belief with countless toys, special beds and scratchers placed throughout their living spaces. Yet the refined cat lady still has impeccable taste when it comes to home decorating, one that takes the focus away from the abundance of cat paraphernalia. You won’t see nor smell the presence of multiple cats as you step inside her front door. And she’s definitely not one to leave the half-empty bag of Greenies or Whiskas treats just sitting on the counter next to the wine rack. This firmly-closing (kitties can paw it to the ground, but the lid won’t budge) and vintage-chic treat jar lets those bags of goodies stay tastefully hidden, but within reach when her fur babies demand a special treat. $17 • Pet Vittles • 919 N. Argonne, Spokane Valley

CAT HARNESS (B)

Gifts for

Cat Ladies I

n case you haven’t noticed, being a freak about cats has evolved into a hip lifestyle. Modern cat-lovin’ ladies have moved far from the frazzle-haired, bathrobe-wearing, cat pee-perfumed stereotype. Tasteful references to cats are found in all forms of pop culture, from fashion to literature and art. Show the cat gals in your life some appreciation for their hipness with these fun and functional options. — CHEY SCOTT

The savviest cat ladies know to start ’em when they’re young. Leash training, that is. Cats are not as fickle as they seem, and leash training what should be an indoor-only cat (there are too many threats to let Fluffyshanks outside) means that cat ladies and their companions can safely enjoy each other’s company outdoors — in the park, on road trips and even camping. (Pro tip: There is an actual web community of “Adventure Cats” on social media.) Of course, a secure cat harness is a priority — most are adjustable to ensure a snug fit, but also consider the fashion element of the color and print, like this cute and not overdone mice-and-cheese design. $17 • The Urban Canine • 6320 N. Ash and 2915 E. 29th

SPONSOR A CAT KENNEL OR ADOPTION FEE (C)

She already has enough cats to care for — we don’t mean it like that. The bleeding-heart syndrome that unites all cat lovers is the heartbreak that comes with realizing how many cats out there don’t have as loving a home as their own kitties do. Visit or contact any of the region’s animal shelters to pick out a long-term shelter cat who would have better chances of finding a home if their adoption fee was waived — these are usually older cats, black cats or cats with manageable health conditions. If you have a larger budget, consider sponsoring a kennel for a year in your favorite cat lady’s name. Kennel sponsorships: $150-$252, SCRAPS, 477-2984 • $100, Spokane Humane Society, 467-5235

CAT LADY BOX

(D) There’s a subscription box for every type these days: beauty product hoarders, fashionistas, gamers, geeks, vegans, crafters, artists and, obviously, cat ladies. If you pick CatLadyBox’s CRAZY box option, you’ll be sending a catch-all gift that covers both lady and cats, filled with toys, treats, accessories and other things she never knew she needed. Sign her up for a few months of deliveries, or have just one box filled with surprises shipped right to her door. $35-$216 • Order online at catladybox.com 

6704 N. Nevada 509.474.0899 www.hallettschocolates.com

26 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

A DONATION TO WORLD RELIEF SPOKANE (A)

C B

Gifts for

The Donald you know

onald Trump: He might be your uncle, your father, your husband. He might be your aunt. He might be you. There they are at the holiday gathering, mouth open and abrasive thoughts being inflicted upon everyone within earshot. Their opinions are delivered as if drawn from a well of divine wisdom, and have the eloquence of a brain-damaged caveman. They’re loud. They’re hubristic. They have money (or at least they want you to think they do). They sit through Christmas dinner prepared to build a wall out of mashed potatoes to keep their son-in-law away. Their hair is as large as their ego. And some, I assume, are good people. Now you’ve got to get them a gift. And it better be huuuuuuuuuuge! — JAKE THOMAS

The Donald Trump in your life may seem to be utterly lacking in compassion toward those facing harrowing circumstances a world away. During Christmas dinner, he prattles on about how he’s concerned about all these refugees. But his concern is limited to keeping them away. At one point, he wonders why they can’t just become real estate moguls like him. Don’t argue with your Donald. Instead, buy them some compassion, with a donation in their name to World Relief Spokane. The nonprofit provides health and educational services to some of the world’s most vulnerable people, as well as programs that fight human trafficking. World Relief Spokane also helps with, yes, refugee resettlement, helping newcomers fleeing violence and persecution back home to navigate the immigration system, acclimate to the new culture and find food, shelter, employment and other basic needs. Make donations at worldrelief.org/ donate. Donation amount up to you • World Relief Spokane • 1522 N. Washington, Suite 204

COIN PURSE

(B) What do you get the person who has major coin, or enough credit cards to build a minimansion? A place to store it all. Blue Q makes a line of coin purses that are big enough to store credit cards. They could also accommodate prescription pills. Or maybe you could just pack it full of weed, sending a not-sosubtle-message to mellow out. They’re made

from 95 percent recycled material, and 1 percent of all sales goes to the Nature Conservancy. $4 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard

HAIR SCULPTING PRODUCT (C)

The way a person wears their hair says a lot about them. A simple wash and comb may suffice for the peasants, but for your Donald, the hair needs match the bravado. Their hair needs to be sculpted to reflect the greatness it’s attached to. So get them sumotech from Bumble and bumble. It’s not a paste, a wax or a creme. It’s a little of each, and just a dab will turn that beautiful hair of head into an iconic bouffant. $29 • Spa Paradiso • 1237 W. Summit Pkwy.

BIG MIRROR OR HUGE CHAIR (D)

Let’s face it: Your Donald is going to be moving on to bigger and better things, and that’ll almost certainly include a bigger, better house. At least they’re going to need a second home for their hair — or maybe their ego. And they’re going to need some furniture. Spokane Furniture Company sells a large mirror that your Donald can use to spend hours and hours basking in their own bombastic splendor. The store also sells several large chairs that could serve as thrones. $237 • Spokane Furniture Company • 1901 N. Division 

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 27

friday FEB. 26

TOWER OF POWER

E C

Tickets on sale now!

FEB. 27

saturday

CHERRY POPPIN’ DADDIES Tickets:

www.uidaho.edu/ticketoffice

(208) 885-7212 | Toll free 1-88-88 UIDAHO

Gifts for

Outdoorsy Types S

o you’re not a constant camper. That’s OK. But if you live in the Pacific Northwest, you probably know some people who are, and might even have to buy them Christmas presents. Gift cards are nice, but if you want to show those outdoor adventurers you know a thing or two, check out our list of gear, gadgets and essential items. — MITCH RYALS

MULTI-TOOL

(A) An outdoorsy person can never have enough tools. Get ’em a multi-tool that has just about everything they’ll need in one. The MP400 Compact Sport from Gerber features 12 instruments, including a partially serrated blade, three sizes of flat screwdrivers, a bottle and can opener, wire cutters and a wire stripper. $48 • Sportsman’s Warehouse • 6720 N. Division

DUTCH OVEN

Never miss an issue All of our issues, online, all the time, in a tablet-friendly format. Always in reach

28 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

(B) The Dutch Oven is the essential outdoor cooker. The tough-as-nails cast iron pot will make soup, meat, cakes, pasta, veggies, eggs, bacon, rolls, pizza, rice, stir-fry, stew — we could go on. No camper should be without one. Starting at $65 • Sportsman’s Warehouse • 6720 N. Division

OUTDOOR GADGET CHARGER (C)

You just got back to the campsite. You’re hungry, it’s cold and your phone is dying after all the pictures you took earlier on the hike. The PowerPot allows you to take care of all three at once. The fireproof cord that extends from the 1.2-liter pot charges any USB device. $150 • Mountain Gear • 6021 E. Mansﬁeld, Spokane Valley

WINDPROOF STOVE (D)

One of the most frustrating camping tasks is lighting a stove on a gusty day. The folks at Mountain Safety Research think they have the answer — the WindBoiler stove. This thing will boil water in minutes in a 12-mph wind. The key is the stove’s radiant burner, rather than an open flame. $130 • Tri-State Outﬁtters • 6275 Sunshine, Coeur d’Alene

HIKING SHOES

(E) Looking for a top-notch hiking shoe? Stick your feet into some Salewa Speed Ascent GTXs. They’re lightweight and waterproof, with a curved sole for a faster trek. $170 • Mountain Gear • 2002 N. Division

SURVIVAL KIT

(F) The essentials no outdoors adventurer should be without: compass, emergency blanket, poncho, whistle, mirror, waterproof matches, knife, glow stick and flashlight. Get it all in one pack, and stay safe out there. $26 • REI • 1125 N. Monroe 

2015 th*

ember 24 c e D – 0 3 r e b m ve o N (noon Dec. 24 ) th

pm Mon - Fri 9 am – 3 up to

50% SAVINGS

great deals on apparel, and golf equipment B

Gifts for

Health Nuts

ou know that friend who is always trying to get you to go running at 5 am or try an “Insanity” workout class? What better gift than to finally take them up on that offer and join in? Um, no. They’ve got the classes and pack the punch. Here are some gifts to give your health-nut friend. — QUINN WESTERN

HEALTHY SNACK DELIVERY SUBSCRIPTION (A)

For the health-conscious pal who complains they’re too busy to make a healthy meal or snack, get them one of the hundreds of healthy snack delivery subscriptions. JackedPack is for the heavy-lifting friend who’s sick of protein smoothies (this subscription has these drinks, plus goodies like protein brownies). There’s Vegan Cuts, because finding vegan eats can be a chore. Graze is the snack that stays below 150 calories, made with ingredients tailored to your taste buds by rating the snacks online. They can take some of these snacks to work and stay away from the office vending machine or candy jar. Prices range from $7 to $20 • Available online at vegancuts.com, jackedpack.com and graze.com/us

LIFEFACTORY GO BOTTLE (B)

This glass bottle with a bubblylooking rubber exterior will make your healthy fitness pal’s bottle look drab. The Go Glass doesn’t have the taste of plastic or metal, and is dishwasher safe. It also doesn’t contain those scary, hard-to-pronounce compounds like phthalates, or other chemicals like BPS, BPA and PVC.

$15 for 9 oz., $20 for 16 oz., $23 for 22 oz. • Available at Huckleberry’s • 926 S. Monroe

THORNE (C)

Give those workout guys and gals the gift that keeps them lifting: nutritional supplements. Thorne, based in Dover, Idaho, features immune, detox, and sports performance support. The sports performance line, EXOS, has items including powders for building muscle and restoring electrolytes. They also make vegetarian capsules. Prices vary: $13 to $60 • Available in local pharmacies and online at thorne.com

10 rounds of golf for $700 ($950 value)

GIFT CARDS AVAILABLE ON-LINE! CDACASINO.COM

IT’S THE MOST

WONDERFUL

SPA TIME AT THE

DECEMBER SPECIALS

$50 service certificates for $25

Massage and Ssakwa’q’n Facial $135 Massage and Seasons Pedicure $115 Ssakwa’q’n Facial and Seasons Pedicure $115 BABOR ReVersive Facial Special $80

CHOCOPERFECTION

(D) A sugar-free, high-fiber chocolate bar. Before you skip over this item, consider for a moment that this actually tastes like chocolate. It’s not chalky, or something that makes you really sad to eat it. This chocolate, made in Coeur d’Alene, is suitable for diabetics because it’s sweetened by plants, instead of artificially. Prices range from $2 for a bar (makes a great stocking stuffer) to $60 for a package of 60 • Available in local pharmacies and online at store.chocoperfection.com 

Worley, Idaho | 1 800 523-2464 | CDACASINO.COM

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 29

D B

Gifts for

Selfie-Obsessed Teen D

on’t just buy a selfie stick. They’re obnoxious and cumbersome, and you’re better than that. Instead, get the kid whose fingers constantly swipe and tap across a small touchscreen something that will open up an entire world of selfie-taking, Facebooking, Instagramming and Tweeting possibilities no matter where they are. — MITCH RYALS

TEXTING GLOVES (A)

Help that phone-loving teen keep his or her hands warm with a pair of winter gloves that don’t interfere with a touchscreen. $30 • Sport Town • 511 W. Main

PORTABLE CHARGER (B)

That annoying little box: “Low Battery: 20% of Battery Remaining.” It’s the bane of any selfie snapper’s existence. Free them from standard battery life with a portable phone charger. No outlet or vehicle required. Try the ZOHM TECH PWRstick that works with iPhones and Androids. $16 • Wollnick’s General Store • 421 W. Main

LIFEPROOF PHONE CASE

(C) You’re not going to stop them from taking selfies anywhere they please — on the beach, in the snow, over a bridge, maybe even standing over the toilet. But you can protect the phone with a LifeProof case. Waterproof, dirtproof, shatterproof, snowproof. $78 • REI • 1125 N. Monroe

SELFIE LENS (D)

Add some dynamic to those selfies with a clip-on selfie lens. The olloclip 3-in-1 comes with wide angle, fisheye and macro lenses. $60 • Target • 9770 N. Newport Hwy.

Gifts for

Religious Aunts

eligious aunts, of course, know that giving or receiving gifts isn’t the real meaning of Christmas. What’s the real reason for the season? Why, they’d be delighted to explain. But a loving nephew or niece searches for a perfect gift for their religious aunts anyway. Fortunately, the Inlander has gift suggestions for aunts from every religious tradition. Here are a few to get you started: — DANIEL WALTERS

PRAYER JOURNALS (A)

Flowers. Cursive. Pictures of sunsets and trees. Bible verses. These are the things that religious aunts are made of. All of these feature prominently on the covers and margins of the large selection of notebooks and prayer journals at LifeWay Christian Store.

Your religious aunt can use the journal to take notes during church services, to copy down thoughts during devotionals, and to write lists of what they need to pray for. Just be forewarned. Your name will, inevitably, be added to this book. You will be prayed for by your reli-

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religious aunt, whether it’s for you to attend church more, for you to meet a nice young man (or woman), or for you to truly understand how much your religious aunt loves you. $15 • LifeWay Christian Store • 9310 N. Division

FOOTSTEPS NEEDLEPOINT KIT (B)

Check in her bathroom, and there’s about an 80 percent chance that your religious aunt already has a needlepoint or cross-stitch of the “Footsteps” poem about Jesus carrying you during the roughest times of your life, hanging above her Precious Moments figurines. But don’t worry! Even if that’s the case, Michael’s offers plenty of needlepoint supplies, so she can make a new needlepoint about anything she desires. $6.49 • Michael’s • 7630 N. Division

THIS IS A far better CHRISTMAS gift THAN SOCKS.

DASHBOARD JESUS (C)

To be clear, buying a Dashboard Jesus only works depending on your religious aunt’s views regarding dashboard iconography. (John Calvin, the religious aunt of the 1500s, found graven dashboard images sacrilegious.) If your aunt is more of a spiritualbut-not religious aunt, maybe a Dashboard Monk would the better choice. For your Unitarian Universalist Aunt? Get both! $7 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard

RELIGIOUS CANDLES (D)

Prayer candles, or veladoras, make great stocking stuffers for both religious aunts and abuelas religiosas who want to let their little lights shine. Throw in a few porcelain candle holders decorated with crosses and Bible verses for good measure (they’re on the same shelf.) $1 • Dollar Tree • 5605 E. Sprague 

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Best Gifts

Techies

hey keep warm during winters with a continual soft glow emitting from their smartphones, braving lines at 5 am for the latest release of new upgrades and next best things. During the holidays you can’t lure them away from their many luminescent screens, even with promises of honey-glazed ham and presents under the tree. They want the watches and the speakers, the drones and the keyboards. While you can in no way satisfy the techie’s every shiny, portable, million-megabyte desire, you can sure try your best. And hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? — MAKAYLA WAMBOLDT

BB-8 APP-ENABLED DROID (A)

With the release of the new Star Wars film, which your techie is bound to see on opening night, gift them a continued galactic high with this app-enabled BB-8 droid. The 3.93 inches of cuteness can rove around your home, react to the sound of your voice, and even create and view holographic recordings, all from the touch of a smartphone. This Christmas, may the force be with you, and also with your new droid. $150 • Downtown Apple Store • 710 W. Main

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BOSE SOUNDLINK COLOR BLUETOOTH SPEAKER (B)

If your techie loves music, this portable speaker will allow them to take their tunes on the go in style. While there are dozens of portable speakers on the market, few can compete with the unparalleled sound quality that Bose offers. The handheld device produces loud and clear sound and boasts up to eight hours of battery life. With five colors to chose from, it’s not a question of if your techie will like it or not, but what color will best match their other gadgets. $120 • Huppin’s • 8016 N. Division

AMAZON ECHO (C)

The newest release from Amazon is the mother of all technology gifts this season. Since the at-home device

is hands-free, all you need to operate it is the sound of your voice. It can handle commands and questions like: “How is traffic?” “Add eggs to my shopping list.” “Set an alarm for 7 am,” and “When do the Seahawks play next?” The Echo is not only a highly adaptive and cutting-edge device, but will become a constant home companion for when your techie is feeling lonely and needs a friend. $149 • amazon.com

GARMIN VIVOFIT FITNESS BAND

(D) While the market is bursting with various fitness watches and wristbands, with these prices and a name like Garmin, this gift is a great fit for any techie trying to get on track with New Year’s resolutions. A feature unique to the Vívofit is its ability to learn your fitness levels, and in turn assign personalized goals each morning. $80-$150 • Runners Soul • 221 N. Wall

VK200 KEYFOB VIRTUAL KEYBOARD

(E) Wireless computing is continually evolving, and this gadget is paving the way for future inputting. Any Bluetoothenabled device can connect to the virtually projected keyboard, which is no bigger than a box of matches. It boasts a full-size QWERTY keyboard complete with simulated typing sounds, so the techie in your life can whip this out in public and gloat amid a chorus of “oohs” and “ahhs.” $110 • Wollnick’s General Store • 421 W. Main 

Gifts for

Fans of Local Teams

he Inland Northwest’s love of its sports teams is intense. And even if you’re not keen on the Zags or the Eagles, and thought that Mike Leach was the name of one of the Garbage Pail Kids, you probably have at least one sports-obsessed individual on your shopping list. Allow us to point you in the right direction. — MIKE BOOKEY

A CHANCE FOR GLORY

(A) For the first time in more than a decade, there’s real excitement surrounding the Washington State football team; local news personality Darin Watkins wants to remind you of the first time Cougar football hit the big time. A Chance for Glory chronicles Washington State College’s (as it was known) run to the Rose Bowl in 1916, when the sport of football, especially on the West Coast, was in its infancy. Watkins’ book tells of a team of underdogs coached by a guy in a top hat who spent their downtime in L.A. preparing for the game by starring in movies. $23 • Auntie’s Bookstore • 402 W. Main

SPOKANE INDIANS SALISH JERSEY (B)

Some sports teams have made a mockery of Native Americans with stereotypical and offensive mascots, but the Spokane Indians, our minor league baseball team, have made big strides to honor the Spokane Tribe of Indians. You can see this in their home jerseys, which spell out the team name in Salish, the tribe’s native language. $200 • Spokane Indians Team Store • 602 N. Havana

GONZAGA GROWLER (C)

So you know that friend of yours with the enormous new TV and the deluxe cable package? Well, as we head deeper into the Gonzaga basketball season, you want to cozy up to him. You should do it by bringing along some beer this holiday season in a growler full of team spirit and, of course, beer. Don’t give someone an empty growler. That’s ignorant. Oh, and you just happened to stop to drop off this gift a few seconds before tipoff? Weird! Better stay for the game. $20 • Growler Guys South Hill • 1314 S. Grand Blvd. #4

BIG SKY CONFERENCE BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT TICKETS (D)

Fans of either Eastern Washington or Idaho basketball can finally make early plans to take in the Big Sky Conference Basketball Championships now that the tournament has made Reno the fixed site. You very well could see one of these local squads punch their ticket to the NCAA tournament. If your team doesn’t fare too well? You’re still in Reno, which is like Vegas but with a chance of snow. $100/men all-tournament pass, $30/women’s pass • Available through either goeags. com or govandals.com • tournament details at bigskyconf.com 

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 33

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Holiday Pulse SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Brought to you by the Downtown Spokane Partnership and the Business Improvement District in conjunction with the Inlander.

Holiday

Events

TREE OF SHARING Through Dec. 13 The 33rd annual program collects and distributes requested items to regional nonprofits and social service agencies serving low-income, disabled and elderly members of the community. Pick up a tag to shop and make sure to drop off items by Sunday, Dec. 13. Tags available at Northtown, River Park Square and Spokane Valley malls. treeofsharing.org (808-4919)

Gaslamp

FOOD

In the Mall T

he recently expanded TWIGS (River Park Square • twigsbistro.com) is a great place to meet with friends and family after a long session of retail therapy, before and after a movie at the nearby AMC Theatres, or as part of a larger holiday gathering. The brand-new seating area called “The Landing” gives diners stunning views of downtown Spokane and the mall’s atrium far below. The bistro’s rotunda room is a spectacular place to host private parties. Twigs

has a fresh sheet with rotating seasonal specialties, plus a full menu of salads, pizzas, sandwiches and Italian-inspired entrées such as truffle penne pasta and butternut squash gnocchi. For cocktails, you can sample from the delightful variety of the bar’s 36 signature martinis. Just a few paces away inside River Park Square, you’ll find GASLAMP (Facebook: Gaslamp Spokane), the shopping mecca’s newest bar and restaurant. It emphasizes top-notch,

Gift Certificates:

Instant Magic.

scratch-made food and drinks along with speedy, friendly service. Patrons rave about the oyster shooters, classic cocktails — particularly the Manhattan Smoke Show, which has its “smokiness” made to order — and freshly prepared soup. Three floors down is SUSHI MARU (facebook.com/SushiMaruSpokane). With a novel conveyor belt bearing along dozens of different sushi delicacies, you can connect with your inner itamae during a casual lunch or before heading out to enjoy the downtown nightlife. The upscale, contemporary décor belies the restaurant’s laid-back atmosphere and reasonable prices.

WHITE CHRISTMAS Through Dec. 19 The Spokane Civic Theatre brings back this holiday classic made famous by the timeless Bing Crosby film. Shows on Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm (also Sat, Dec. 19 at 2 pm). $22-$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. spokanecivitheatre.com (325-2507) SANTA EXPRESS Through Dec. 23 The 22nd annual holiday store offers items at allowance-friendly prices (50 cents to $8) for area children (ages 4-12) to purchase for their friends and family, with proceeds supporting the mission of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Open Mon-Fri, from 11 am-8 pm, Sat, from 10 am-8 pm and Sun, from 11 am-6 pm. At 707 W. Main (skywalk level). vanessabehan.org DASHING THROUGH DOWNTOWN Through Dec. 24 Enjoy downtown Spokane’s fes-

Gift certificates are redeemable at most River Park Square stores and restaurants, including: Nordstrom • The Apple Store • The North Face Anthropologie • Sephora • AMC 20 Theatres with IMAX and many more.

Purchase at riverparksquare.com

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

For more information, go to downtownspokane.org tive holiday sights by horse and carriage, sponsored by Spokane Teachers Credit Union. Fridays from 3-8 pm (break between 6-7 pm); Sat-Sun from 12-5 pm (break from 2-3 pm), and Monday, Dec. 24, from 12-3 pm. Free. Pick-up at 573 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. downtownspokane.org CHRISTMAS TREE ELEGANCE Dec. 1-13 Eighteen elaborately-decorated holiday trees are displayed and available to win as part of a fundraiser raffle benefiting the Spokane Symphony. Trees, a Father Christmas sculpture and a three-story custom dollhouse are located on the mezzanine of the Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post (12 trees), and at River Park Square (six trees), 808 W. Main Ave., on the second floor. Free to view, raffle tickets $1 each. spokanesymphonyassoc.org “ELF” AT THE BING Dec. 10, at 7 pm Celebrate the holiday season at this screening of the modern classic, hosted by the Inlander and benefiting Catholic Charities of Spokane. Tickets $5. Doors open at 5:30 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. catholiccharitiesspokane.org BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FESTIVAL Dec. 11, starting at 11 am The 10th annual festival screens the best-loved classic films starring Spokane’s favorite son, Bing Crosby, along with a display of memorabilia and a performance by Bing’s nephew, Howard Crosby. $10. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbyadvocates.org (227-4704)

GINGERBREAD BUILD-OFF Dec. 13, at 10 am Christ Kitchen’s annual gingerbread house build-off features teams of local bakers, architects and pastry chefs competing to build the most elaborate gingerbread house, as voted by the public. New location this year, and a new raffle fundraiser. $7 to build your own house; free to vote and watch. Davenport Grand Hotel, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. ccckministry.org WHITWORTH CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL Dec. 12, 8 pm and Dec. 13, 3 pm The annual holiday event features more than 120 student performers, including members of the Whitworth Choir, the Women’s Choir, the Men’s Chorus and the Chamber Singers, as well as student instrumentalists and narrators. The popular concert is concluded by candlelight. $15-$20. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) GRAND CHANUKAH MENORAH LIGHTING Dec. 13, 4:30-5:30 pm The annual public Menorah lighting hosted by Chabad of Spokane County includes a special fire show, hot coffee and live music by the Spokane Klezmer band. All are welcome. Free, with donations accepted. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard. (443-0770) A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS Dec. 15, at 7:30 pm A concert program of contemporary jazz and holiday favorites, also featuring Rick Braun and Mindi Abair. $45-$57. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404)

Warm Hugs, Warm Hearts E

veryone’s crazy for Frozen these days. As the defining Disney animated film for this decade’s kids, you can’t go anywhere without seeing the snowman and the princess or hearing that catchy Idina Menzel song. This year, Frozen is the theme of the Downtown Spokane Partnership’s annual holiday campaign, which includes numerous events to get us feeling all warm and fuzzy, just like that little snowman hopes we do. The highlight for kids and families is the annual Kids Day Downtown, which kicks off with a screening of Frozen at the downtown Spokane Public Library branch. Singing along with the film is encouraged, so make sure the Frozen fanatics in your household teach you the words before heading out. Don’t hesitate to come dressed up in your best Frozenthemed costumes, because there also will be photo ops with characters in

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Holiday Pulse

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Jigsaw

SHOPPING

One-Of-A-Kind Boutiques T

here was plenty of excitement when word also have a really fun beauty department with began to spread that ANTHROPOLOGIE face masks and perfumes.” (885 W. Main • anthropologie.com) was openTaking a slightly different tack, JIGSAW ing in downtown Spokane. Store manager (601 W. Main • jigsawboutique.com) focuses Mandy Misterek says it’s easy to see why. on ultra-high quality, not quantity. Which isn’t “Anthropologie is a sophisticated, fun and to say that it doesn’t have a range of clothwhimsical environment that ing and accessories to suit caters to so many different perdifferent tastes; it’s just that IN NEXT WEEK’S sonalities and styles,” she says. the numbers of each item are “We’re about lifestyle outfitting. limited. The boutique’s current We not only have the items selection with designs by that will decorate an event, we Lauren Vidal, Heather and For FOOD also have the perfect outfit to Love & Liberty has the textural Cozy Spaces go with it.” Scented decorative knits, leather, velvet and lace candles from the store’s mindthat deﬁne up-to-the-minute NIGHTLIFE/SHOPPING boggling selection are perennifashion. One-Stop Fun ally popular favorites, as are the Similar styles are on offer personalized monogrammed at WHITE LAVENDER (155 S. mugs. Although the vast array of items is Lincoln • whitelavendershop.com), which also generally “female-centric,” Misterek notes that has a selection of snuggly warm wool hats, the home entertaining section with bar décor scarves, gloves and coats for the winter seahas a unisex appeal. The store’s not-so-hidden son. The chic clothing is supplemented by new secret? “A lot of people don’t know that we and vintage accoutrements for the home.

Holiday Pulse

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

For more information, go to downtownspokane.org

Santa called Barrister Tasting Room

NIGHTLIFE

Wine and Beer R

AIN LOUNGE (1007 W. First • rainspokane.com) is right next door to Scratch restaurant. In fact, they share the same address and phone number. That makes it the perfect one-stop for an evening out: expertly prepared drinks and relaxed socialization rounded out by dinner from the Scratch menu — or vice versa. “There’s a fresh sheet with different offerings every day, and we always have daily drink specials,” says owner Connie Naccarato. “We have a new winter menu with an amazing rib cap, which is the best part of a ribeye. We have a smoked duck that’s incredible, and we’re also featuring lamb on the winter menu.” The lounge’s signature drink is the Rain Drop Martini, but

it also boasts an extensive beer and wine list. Happy Hour specials run all day Monday and Tuesday, and in the early (4–6 pm) and late evenings (9 pm to close) from Wednesday to Saturday. For wine and beer with creative ﬂair, there’s PAINT AND PINTS (718 W. Riverside • paintandpintsspokane.com). Here you can become a budding Rembrandt, Van Gogh or Dalí as you apply brush to canvas under the guidance of trained instructors. Their classes make great gift experiences, and their private events are ideal for company holiday parties. Meanwhile, the brand-new BARRISTER TASTING ROOM (203 N. Washington • barristerwinery.com) in the Liberty Building specializes in the winery’s award-winning offerings. Not only does it make a perfect post-theater or pre-dinner stop, it also provides shoppers a great opportunity to sample and purchase one of Barrister’s critically acclaimed vintages for the oenophile in their lives.

He said get your

own damn gift AND MERRY CHRISTMAS

Boo�Radley’s Uncommon�Gifts

232�N.�Howard�.�456-7479 across�from�the�carousel

On the second level of River Park Square (509) 838-7115 • Spokane.OilandVinegarUSA.com

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Do-Gooding Gifts for

hese are the people who keep on giving. The following are 10 of the many groups and organizations that help the less fortunate in our community. Give a gift that helps them do that and these programs continue. — QUINN WESTERN

HOPE HOUSE

Hope House, a Volunteers of America program, houses single women and helps them seek permanent housing. Some great gifts to give include hygiene products, snacks (like granola bars), underwear, socks, blankets, twin sheets and pajamas. There’s always a need for coats. Right now, there aren’t any: “We have none to hand out currently to people who come to the back door and are still sleeping outside,” says Mindy Pinkerman, a Hope House case manager. “Those are always a need.” Hope House • 111 W. Third • voaspokane.org/hope-house • 455-2886

SPOKANE HUMANE SOCIETY

This organization provides shelter for animals looking for a home. These humans need everything from dry pet food to blankets and office supplies, among other items. Check out their wish list at spokanehumanesociety.org/donate/wishlist for a slew of other items. Spokane Humane Society • 6607 N. Havana • spokanehumanesociety.org • 467-5235

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY

This is a part of the global organization building homes. A “Nuts and Bolts” donation, giving on behalf of someone, can help supply the vital pieces that go into building a home — everything from nails to kitchen cabinets. You can also pick up a hammer, and say that you had a hand in building someone’s home. Habitat for Humanity of North Idaho • 176 W. Wyoming Ave., Hayden, Idaho • northidahohabitat.org • 208762-4663 • Habitat for HumanitySpokane • 732 N. Napa St., Spokane • habitat-spokane.org • 534-2552

AMERICAN INDIAN COMMUNITY CENTER

The Center provides a variety of social and economic services to American Indians and all other racial groups. They provide Indian child welfare, job hunting and résumé help, and supply food and clothes. They always accept clothing and food, especially canned food like tuna or peanut butter. American Indian Community Center • 610 E. North Foothills Dr. • aiccinc.org • 535-0886

CROSSWALK

This teen shelter, another Volunteers of America program, is dedicated to providing education and a safe place for teens. Crosswalk needs a lot of donations similar to those at Hope House. They also ask for school supplies, including notebook paper, pens and pencils. Crosswalk • 525 W. Second • voaspokane.org/crosswalk • 838-6596

Help make a child’s Christmas just a little brighter!

Your Hometown Chevy Dealers are Tailgating for Toddlers this holiday season. Help support local children by donating a new unwrapped toy at any one of your ﬁve Hometown Chevy Dealers. All toys go to Toys for Tots. Happy Holidays!

38 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

Organizations OXFORD HOUSE

These homes provide a place for recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. There are 26 in Spokane: 20 for men and six for women. The residents are self-sufficient and maintain the houses, including payments, while working their way back into society. These houses typically always need toilet paper, twin bedding, pillows and other household furnishings. Oxford House • PO Box 30627 • wa.oxfordhouse.us • 216-0331

AMERICAN CHILDHOOD CANCER ORGANIZATION INLAND NORTHWEST

This organization’s wish list has many gift options: items for the children and their families, ranging from notepads, coffee and extra-strength Excedrin to hotel and restaurant vouchers. They also need items to stock emergency overnight bags, including toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, and lotion (no more soap needed). American Childhood Cancer Organization Inland Northwest • 3021 S. Regal, Suite 104 • acco.org/inlandnw • 443-4162

GIRL SCOUTS OF EASTERN WASHINGTON AND NORTHERN IDAHO

These girls do more than just arts and crafts (though those supplies are always welcome). They could use interactive Wii games, archery and windsurfing equipment, flippers, electric lanterns, tents, basketballs, a good pump and a 3-D printer. “We’re going to be doing some computer programming with the girls,” says program director Sarah Wallace. These holiday gifts would go to the Spokane center and camp on Lake Coeur d’Alene. Girl Scouts of Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho • 1404 N. Ash • gsewni.org • 747-8091

HOUSE OF CHARITY

The temperatures have dropped and there already has been snow on the ground. Basic clothing, gloves, hats and blankets are especially needed this time of year. There also is a need for toiletries like soap and shampoo, and feminine products. This Catholic Charities program works to provide shelter and help meet basic needs for Spokane’s homeless community. House of Charity • 32 W. Pacific • catholiccharitiesspokane.org/ house-of-charity • 624-7821

WOMEN & CHILDREN’S FREE RESTAURANT AND COMMUNITY KITCHEN

Head to the market and grab a cart; this kitchen needs sugar, canned goods, produce, meats, seasonings, condiments, cake mix, mayonnaise, gallon Ziploc baggies and dishwashing gloves. Check out their website’s wish list for more donation items. Women & Children’s Free Restaurant and Community Kitchen • 1408 N. Washington • wcfrspokane.org • 324-1995 n

Don’t Miss...

• Sacred Heart Children’s Hospital Kids Night Out • First Night Kickoﬀ Parade • Reel 2 Real: First Night Filmfest • 5K Resolution Run produced by NxNW sponsored by Numerica Fred Meyer Midnight Fireworks Spectacular firstnightspok

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Gifts for

Professional Potheads T

he professional pothead is not an amateur. They rode the roller coaster of marijuana-related setbacks and advances before Washington really became “The Evergreen State” and rejoiced when legalization was finally OK’d by voters in 2012. Since then, the professional pothead has expanded their weed repertoire tenfold; they’ve been there, smoked that. So while it may seem impossible to buy gifts for the pothead who has — or has tried — it all, we’ve come up with a few gifts that should surprise even the most experienced smoker on your list. — AZARIA PODPLESKY

GLASSWARE

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM Daily Celebrate at Barlows! Check out our new seasonal menu!

Come in and enjoy our specials every Friday & Saturday Night!

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK • BREAKFAST UNTIL 2PM ON SATURDAY & SUNDAY DINNER STARTS AT 4PM

1428 N. Liberty Lake Rd. | 509-924-1446

40 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

(A) When a professional pothead is looking to relax in style, they don’t reach for a dime-a-dozen bong, but something from Piece of Mind or Puffin Glass. These masters of glass create dry and water pipes that can double as art pieces when not in use, like the skeletal, multi-colored Fish 2 (Piece of Mind). If you’re buying for someone who’s more excited for Dec. 18 than Dec. 25, Piece of Mind also offers an X-Wing-shaped rig, while Puffin Glass has a few of its own Star Wars-themed pieces available. And if you have a few thousand dollars to spare, unconventional pieces shaped like minions, giraffes, dragons, candlestick phones and rigs that look like something out of a Dr. Seuss story could be yours. Prices vary • Piece of Mind: 4103 N. Division and various other locations • Puﬃn Glass Studios: 201 W. Riverside and various other locations

MADNESS FALL TOUR LIMITED EDITION PAX

(B) PAX Labs Inc. and R&B singer the Weeknd have teamed up to create this vaporizer in celebration of his Beauty Behind the Madness album and uber-successful fall tour. The sleek, matte-black vaporizer, engraved with the Weeknd’s XO logo, plays his hit song “The Hills” as it powers on and features lip-sensing technology for optimum heat and vapor production. Over the top? Maybe. The perfect onthe-go puff for a professional pothead? Definitely. $325 • paxvapor.com/themadness

CONCERT TICKETS

ing Dirty Heads, Sublime with Rome, Slightly Stoopid, the Expendables and Collie Buddz (who just played the Knitting Factory last week), will help the professional pothead recreate the experience. Touring season has pretty much wound down for the year, but there are only a few short months before spring tours begin. Varies • Knitting Factory • 919 W. Sprague • The Pin! • 412 W. Sprague

THE GRATEFUL DEAD FLEECE BLANKET (D)

Speaking of the Dead, a list of gifts for potheads wouldn’t be complete without band memorabilia, and Hastings is your one-stop shop for band merch of any kind. Here you’ll find everything from fleece blankets, patches, puzzles and apothecary jars to keychains, lanyards, coffee mugs and pint glasses, all emblazoned with Dead-related imagery for the Deadhead on your list. The Grateful Dead Bertha Fleece is perfect for a professional pothead on a cold winter night. $25 • Hastings • 1704 W. Wellesley and various other locations

RAW ORGANIC HEMP ROLLING PAPERS (E)

No detail is too insignificant for the professional pothead, which is why they take care when choosing their rolling papers. These RAW rolling papers are made from organically grown, chlorine-free pure hemp, which makes for a clean-tasting smoke. And at just $2 for a pack of 50 sheets, it’s a great stocking stuffer or last-minute gift. $2 for a pack of 50 • Piece of Mind • 12101 E. First, Spokane Valley and various other locations 

Meet the People Who Shaped the Inland Northwest B

MAKES A GREAT

14.95

$ D

HOLIDAY GIFT

Gifts for

Bike Commuters

f you have bike commuter friends, co-workers or family, you know that they’re covered with a film of sweat in the summer. In the winter, they show up to work slurring their speech and fumbling with objects after their face and hands have been numbed by the cold. Regardless of the season, getting around on two wheels is easier, safer, warmer and more fun with some good gear. Now is your big chance to make life better for these salty individuals. — JAKE THOMAS

A WAY TO HAUL STUFF(A)

Hauling your stuff in an over-theshoulder messenger bag on your daily commute can put your spine and posture all out of whack. Give your bike commuter a pannier to lessen their load. KoKi, based in Hood River, Oregon, makes hardshell panniers that feature a strap to carry them around after they’ve parked their bike. They’ll keep your bike commuter’s things dry in the winter. In the summer, the pannier will even keep a six-pack cold. $60 • MonkeyBoy Bicycles • 1206 W. Summit Pkwy.

A PAIR OF GLOVES (B)

For the bike commuter who insists on getting to work on two wheels even during unforgiving Inland Northwest winters, finding a good pair of gloves is essential. Right now, REI is offering up 25 percent discount on gloves from Pearl Izumi, a Tokyo-based apparel company. They’re even designed so its wearer can tap on a smartphone while wearing them. $30-$40 • REI • 1125 N. Monroe Street

AN EXTRA SET OF EYES

(C) In a world where cameras are affixed to seemingly everything (buildings, phones, police officers), you might as well add one more camera to your bike to document boneheaded moves by drivers, or even just capture the highlights of a mountain biking excursion. Cycliq makes a line of cameras (which double as LED bike lights) that can be attached to both the front and back of a bicycle. Both weatherresistant cameras have six hours of recording time, and the footage can be downloaded using Wi-Fi or smartphones. $170 • The Bike Hub • 12505 E. Sprague, Spokane Valley

A GOOD PAIR OF LIGHTS (D) Maybe you know a bike commuter who has a pair of barely functional, dim bike lights – or none at all. Get them a pair of lights. Because bike lights can quickly eat through batteries, Serfas makes a line of bright lights that are USB rechargeable. It also helps that bike lights fit perfectly into a stocking. $40 • Spoke ‘N Sport • 212 N. Division 

Pick up Volume One to finish the set

Now on sale at these Inland Northwest retailers! • Atticus

• Inlander Oﬃces

• Auntie’s

• Hastings (all four locations)

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• Huckleberry’s

• Sacred Heart Hospital Gift Shop • The Well-Read Moose • The Zag Shop

• The MAC Gift Shop

Inlander.com/books DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 41

LO C AL K N • HI

•T

L A C O L P SHO •

L • LI A C V E LO

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DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 43

B A

Gifts for

Strangers P

erhaps it’s for a White Elephant holiday party at work, an in-law you’ve never met or your mail carrier. We all occasionally find ourselves in the position of buying a present for someone we don’t know, and it can be tricky to find something that says, “Merry Christmas, stranger. I don’t really know anything about you, but I needed to buy you a gift or risk looking like a total tool. So enjoy this innocuous, utterly generic token of my acknowledging your existence.” Here are some options. — DAN NAILEN

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44 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

Best music store in Eastern Washington

1610 N. Monroe St • 509.325.1914

(A) This is a great choice if you’re looking to impress or are part of a serious White Elephant situation. These vacuum-insulated bottles are incredible, keeping your hot drink hot for hours, or your icy beverage freezing instead. And thanks to how they’re built, you can’t tell from the outside whether it’s hot or cold; there’s no condensation or heat coming from inside that bad boy. They come in a variety of colors, sizes and prices, and the stainless steel lets you drink an IPA one day and coffee the next without any old flavors lingering or mixing. $20 (for 21-oz. version) • White Elephant • 12614 E. Sprague, Spokane Valley

COUGAR GOLD CHEESE

(B) Perfect gifts for strangers often involve things that they won’t necessarily use themselves. Give someone a hunk of this locally revered cheese, and they can turn around and serve it at a party, or re-gift it to someone else to enjoy the creamy goodness produced on the Palouse. That’s a win-win. $28 • WSU Connections Spokane • 618 W. Riverside

ORANGE THYME BATH APOTHECARY SOAP (D)

You might risk someone taking the gift of soap as an insult regarding their personal hygiene, but this is an ideal present for someone you don’t know. Either they’ll love some fancy soap made by local artisans and be delighted by the luxurious stuff that comes in a variety of scents, or they’ll be happy to have a classy option for re-gifting to a smelly family member or co-worker of their own. $6 • Boulevard Mercantile • 1905 N. Monroe

BUNGALOW CANDLEWORKS CANDLE (D)

Candles are timely, given our recent power issues in the Inland Northwest, and always welcome as either an emergency light source in a pinch or touch of everyday ambience in the house. These locally made beauties come in a variety of “flavors” like McIntosh Apple, Lemongrass and Gingered Cantaloupe, and even if the recipient never lights it, the candle will look and smell great. $17 (for large candle) • Pottery Place Plus • 203 N. Washington 

LIPSTICK QUEEN LIPSTICK (A)

D A

Gifts for

Stylish Grandmas T

his category is for the elder (not older), fashionforward female in your life, who, let’s face it, probably has everything she ever wanted. But for her, it’s still

sweet to receive something heartfelt from the always-perfect grandchildren. Here are some options to get you started. — LAURA JOHNSON

Your stylish grandmother is one classy woman. She always looks effortlessly chic, even in the mornings. But she could always use a fresh new lip color. Lipstick Queen, sold exclusively in Spokane at the Make-Up Studio, makes products for lips only. Julie Farley, owner of the studio, recommends going with a more neutral tone that works for most people. It’s about making a statement and bringing color to the lips, not looking clownish. The brand’s dusty-pink color Rose come in two formulas: Saints, a more glossy lipstick, and Sinners, which is 90 percent pigment. A matching lip liner completes the set. $18/$24 • The Make-Up Studio • 216 N. Bernard

MILLIANNA EARRINGS (B)

These sterling silver earrings with hand-beaded crystal pearls and rhinestone balls are the perfect item to place under the Christmas tree or Hanukkah bush for your cherished grandmother. Delicate, beautiful Millianna jewelry is locally made to order in Spokane — often by artisan immigrant women relocated to our city through the World Relief Organization. $85 • millianna.com

HAND-KNITTED SCARF

(C) Knitting is no longer just for grandmas; the skill is coming back in full force. Surprise your glamma (a glamorous grandma; thank you, Internet) with an item you knitted especially for her. The fine ladies at Knit-n-Crochet in Coeur d’Alene offer everything necessary to put you on the path to success — including Plymouth Yarn in Encore Worsted Tweed, a beautiful acrylic wool blend perfect for the beginner or expert. The yarn is only found in local shops. $6.50 per skein of yarn • Knit-n-Crochet • 600 W. Kathleen Ave. #30, Coeur d’Alene

CASHMERE SWEATER (D)

Heat is the key — especially when all of the power is out in Spokane — and cashmere sweaters have been warming women up for centuries. Thankfully, downtown Spokane’s Jigsaw boutique offers a super-soft Claudia Nichole sweater/poncho that can be worn five different ways, including as a scarf and a fashion blanket, perfect for traveling. It comes in numerous colors, including denim and basil (pictured). By the time you get around to wrapping this sweater for grandma, you may want to keep it for yourself. $143/$195 • Jigsaw • 601 W. Main 

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 45

D C

B A

Gifts for

Drunk Uncles M

ost families have one — the charming relative who’s quick with a joke, generous with gifts and so cool and fun. Sure, he might have a few too many beers at the family reunion, or a few too many public-intoxication arrests, but you love the guy all the same. He’s your Drunk Uncle, and you want him to feel special at the holidays with a gift from the heart. Or maybe the bar. — DAN NAILEN

RETRO BAR GLASSES

(A) Drunk Uncle keeps it classy, whether he’s drinking alone or having friends over to the apartment in his folks’ basement. And he more than likely enjoys his drinks old-school, in a proper glass. Presentation means a lot, and this mid-century glass set, complete with handy carrying tray, includes six cocktail glasses imprinted with cool global maps. It’s perfect for an Old Fashioned, or anything on the rocks, really. Decorative and useful, this set will keep Drunk Uncle from drinking straight from the bottle and will impress his buddies, too. $29 • Boulevard Mercantile • 1905 N. Monroe

COFFEE

We’ve got your Holiday covered. Mon-Thur 10-5:30pm • Fri 10-7pm Holiday Hours: Sat 10-5:30pm • Sun 12-4pm 35 W. Main, Spokane • 509-464-7677 • kizurispokane.com

46 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

(B) Sure, Drunk Uncle might get a little “hair of the dog” going with a Bloody Mary the morning after a binge, but the man still needs coffee! Help him out with a tasty seasonal, organic Ethiopian blend with hints of vanilla, chocolate and graham cracker, roasted by DOMA in Post Falls and available at Rocket Bakery outlets throughout the area. $13 • Rocket Bakery • 903 W. Garland and other locations

WHISKEY ELEMENT (C)

Drunk Uncle might not be the most discerning imbiber, so give him an assist in the quality of the booze he drinks with a whiskey element. Simply drop this hunk of charred wood in a lower-end bottle of booze, and 24 hours later, that hooch should taste a little more like the barrel-aged, top-shelf stuff Drunk Uncle would never splurge on. $15 • Wollnick’s General Store • 421 W. Main

ORANGE SAFETY VEST (D)

We hope Drunk Uncle has the good sense not to drink and drive, but walking home from the bar can be dicey at night as drivers negotiate snow-strewn streets. Get him this oh-so-bright safety vest to make sure drivers can see him. Bonus: If Drunk Uncle is a hunter, he’s ready for next deer season, too. $19 • White Elephant • 12614 E. Sprague

SOLITAIRE CHESS

(E) When you’re hammered consistently, you might regularly be the life of the party, but you’re sometimes also going to be the guy no one wants to hang with. For those times when friends and family are avoiding him, this Solitaire Chess set gives Drunk Uncle a fun activity that will keep his brain working and his hands busy moving pawns and queens instead of pouring shots and lighting cigarettes. $20 • Uncle’s Games • 404 W. Main 

Swing With Bing

Your guide and drink tips for the 10th annual Bing Crosby Film Fest BY DAN NAILEN

f I were mayor, every Spokane resident would be required to deliver gifts of golf balls and cardigan sweaters to the statue of Bing Crosby at Gonzaga each Christmas. At the very least, people would have to watch the excellently twisted David Bowie/Bing collaboration on “The Little Drummer Boy” on YouTube every day in December. Absent such power, all I can do is advocate delving into the annual Bing Crosby Holiday Film Festival at the — you guessed it — Bing Crosby Theater. For 10 years, the folks at the nonprofit Bing Crosby Advocates have showcased the crooner’s movies at the all-day event that allows people to drop in and catch a Crosby classic or two. This year, in addition to three films, you can hear some live songs by Howard Crosby, Bing’s nephew, and take in some rare photos of Bing as well. While Bing’s Christmas movies have played ad nauseam for decades, there’s a chance some of you haven’t bothered to actually watch them. There are plenty of other holiday entertainment options, I know, but some things are classics for a reason. Bing was part of more than a few of them. I took another look at this year’s fest selections with an eye for why they still hold a place in the public imagination, and whether they’re still worth seeing in 2015. And I include a recommended cocktail for each one in case you’re watching at home instead of at The Bing on Saturday.

WHITE CHRISTMAS

This 1954 flick is probably associated with Bing even more than his Oscar-winning role in Going My Way. White Christmas was filmed in explosive Technicolor, and the garish reds, blues and greens are still striking. Bing stars as Bob Wallace, half of a song-and-dance team (along with Danny Kaye) who throw a big show at a struggling, remote Vermont inn owned by their old army general. At the same time, the boys woo a couple of singing sisters, played by the entertainingly sarcastic Rosemary Clooney and the disturbingly small-waisted Vera-Ellen. The story is simple, but there’s no denying the chemistry between Bing and Kaye, or Clooney’s serious singing chops paired with Bing’s buttery crooning. Suggested drink: Bing suggests a round of “hot buttered rum, light on the butter” during the movie. Who are we to argue?

A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT

This 1949 Technicolor flick is the oddball of the day. It’s not holiday-related, and it’s a relatively obscure adaptation of a Mark Twain novel about a mechanic named Harry (played by Bing) who gets conked on the head during a storm and wakes up in Camelot in the year 528. He uses his knowledge of the future to convince people he has special powers, and soon finds himself in a showdown with Sir Lancelot for the hand of the knight’s fiancée, Alisande, and ensnared by castle intrigue between King Arthur and Merlin. Naturally, there’s plenty of singing and Bing helps the medieval musicians update their sound while he’s there. Consider it a nice pause from all the Christmas action. ...continued on next page

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 47

CULTURE | FILM

Bing Crosby in the 1954 film White Christmas.

“SWING WITH BING,” CONTINUED... Suggested drink: The era of King Arthur calls for wine or beer, both available at the Bing.

wallow at his friend’s inn. The love triangle between Bing, Astaire and Reynolds is inspiration for some slapstick shenanigans, some incredible dance numbers from Astaire, and an inexplicable Irving Berlin wrote 12 songs for this 1942 blackinclusion of Bing in blackface singing an ode and-white musical, including an early version of to Abraham Lincoln at a President’s Day show. “White Christmas,” and Bing makes the most of That few minutes will make you shudder, but the the role of Jim, a vast majority of the nightclub performer film is lighthearted fun, ready to retire to with Bing showing the country with his a little underhanded fiancée, Lila. Early chicanery that’s a nice on, Lila ditches contrast to his typical Jim for his partner good-guy roles. Ted, played by the Suggested drink: 11:30 am: White Christmas ultra-suave Fred Fred Astaire gets 2 pm: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court Astaire, and Jim soused on scotch and 4:30 pm: Holiday Inn bails to make a go soda, and pulls off 6:45 pm: Performance by Bing’s nephew Howard Crosby as a farmer. Failing an amazing drunken 7:30 pm: White Christmas spectacularly, he dance number. n turns his farm into an entertainment 10th Annual Bing hot spot, open only on holidays. A burgeoning Crosby Holiday Film Festival • Sat, Dec. 12, at romance with a young performer named Linda 11:30 am • $10/kids under 12 are free • Bing (Marjorie Reynolds) is going great until Ted Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • shows up, freshly dumped by Lila himself, to bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7638

HOLIDAY INN

BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FESTIVAL SCHEDULE

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CULTURE | DIGEST

BASKETBALL THE ZAGS’ BIG WEEK

Kyle Dranginis and the other Gonzaga guards look to fix some early-season shortcomings.

hen the “U of A” chant began echoing through a shocked McCarthey Athletic Center last Saturday in the waning seconds of Arizona’s comeback win over Gonzaga, you could feel a little bit of panic in Zagville. The Kennel is a sacred space where visitors rarely win, and certainly don’t get to hear opposing fans start any sort of chant. The 68-63 defeat was Gonzaga’s second loss of the year after dropping a nail-biter to Texas A&M in the Bahamas, and also the third consecutive game in which they let a big first-half lead shrink. “It was a tale of two halves. We were definitely the aggressor in the first half on both ends, and then we had a few things unfortunately go wrong in the first five minutes of the second half,” said a surprisingly calm and composed Mark Few after his team let a 10-point halftime lead slip through its hands in a game that saw big, bearded Przemek Karnowski sitting on the bench with an ongoing back injury. The loss began what is one of the Zags’ biggest weeks in recent years. First was Arizona; on Tuesday night they hosted a tough Montana squad before welcoming UCLA to the Kennel on Saturday night (7 pm, ESPN2). Yes, this is the same team that the Zags knocked off down in L.A. last December, then beat again

RYAN SULLIVAN PHOTO

in the Sweet Sixteen. What’s different, though, is that this year’s Bruins, led by guard and coach’s son Bryce Alford, just beat No. 1 Kentucky, and in convincing fashion. To defeat UCLA, the Zags need to find a way to fix their issues in the backcourt, something that was glaringly obvious against Arizona. Josh Perkins, back this year after missing last year’s Elite Eight run with a broken jaw, turned the ball over five times, particularly at critical points in the second half. Kyle Dranginis’ senior composure is going to come in handy as he expands beyond the Charlie Hustle/Glue Guy reputation that has made him a fan favorite. Zag Nation need not panic. This has been the most challenging start to a season in Gonzaga history, given that they racked up nearly 20,000 frequent-flier miles for games in Japan and the Bahamas before even really settling into their starting lineup. Despite all of that, the Zags have lost just two games, both to very good teams. They also have Kyle Wiltjer, who is scoring with ease and without prejudice, especially in the early going of games. Fear not: Opposing fans won’t be taking over the Kennel any time soon. — MIKE BOOKEY

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION BY JAKE THOMAS

TV In the HBO series THE LEFTOVERS, based on the Tom Perrotta novel of the same name, 2 percent of the world’s population suddenly vanishes. The viewer is left in the same uncertain state as the show’s characters, who turn to cults and other methods to make sense of the world three years after the strange event, referred to as the “Sudden Departure.” The second season shifts the show’s focus to Jarden, a small town in Texas that was left unaffected by the Departure. It’s this setting where the paths of two families who were affected very differently by the Departure intersect. VIDEO David Bowie is 68, and he seems to be only getting weirder with age. If you need proof, pull up the video for “BLACKSTAR,” the title track of his 25th studio album, set to be released on Jan. 8, Bowie’s 69th birthday. The video could easily pass as the trailer for a big-budget horror/sci-fi movie, including a jewel-encrusted astronaut skull that becomes the center of a strange cult-like ritual, human scarecrows who seem to be offered up as a sacrifice and dancers who convulse rhythmically as Bowie belts out the soundtrack. Although the song can’t be described as heavy metal, the video sure is. COMIC OUTCAST, VOL. 2: A VAST AND UNENDING RUIN is the second installment in the horror epic created by writer Robert Kirkman (the creator of the Walking Dead) and artist Paul Azaceta, picking up on the story of Kyle Barnes, a man who has the ability to detect and exorcise demons and is living in self-imposed isolation after committing some horrible act that’s alluded to, yet remains unrevealed. The series picks up at a point where Barnes is starting to find some new purpose, while a reverend he allies himself with watches his life fall apart. 

Thurs 12/10, Inlander

TEDDY BEAR TOSS

PRESENTED BY THE SPOKESMAN-REVIEW SATURDAY 12/12 vs. TRI-CITY AMERICANS Toss a teddy bear on the ice when the Chiefs score their first goal. All bears collected will be donated to The Spokesman-Review Christmas Fund. All Scouts can receive the group rate. Sponsored By:

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L RY R I VAM E GA DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 49

CULTURE | PERFORMANCE

Truth or Bust

Adam Savage (second from right) and Jamie Hyneman (far left) are bringing Mythbusters to an end after a 14-season run.

The guys on MythBusters blew lots of stuff up and made us care more about science, but all good things must end BY CHEY SCOTT

efore Adam Savage became the charismatic half of Discovery Channel’s incredibly successful MythBusters series — alongside stoic, mustachioed co-host Jamie Hyneman — he was building sets and special effects for movies like Star Wars, Terminator 3 and The Matrix. These projects pairing creativity, science and technology were not far from the work Savage would begin in 2002, when he and Hyneman began the 14-year MythBusters run that put every adage, urban legend and scientific misnomer to the test via the scientific method to famously confirm or bust each one. But next year, the beloved show that has brought fun, real-life science into the living rooms of millions comes to an end (the final season premieres on Jan. 9). To commemorate the bittersweet finale, Savage and Hyneman have embarked on a cross-country tour of their live stage show, MythBusters: Jamie & Adam Unleashed!. As the duo traveled through the Arizona desert last week, we caught up with Savage to get his perspective on the series’ end, what’s next and what to expect on stage. INLANDER: What is the lasting legacy you hope MythBusters leaves behind after the show concludes? SAVAGE: It’s not one I would have expected, but it’s that science is creative. If you had shown me all of the success

50 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

MythBusters was going to have at the beginning, I’m still not sure I would have seen that this is one of the most important messages, and the most important thing that I learned. But it is — science is often thought of as the opposite of creativity, and yet it is completely adjacent to it. How much science background did you have before the show, and how much of a science expert would you say you are now? Before the show I was a science enthusiast. I read lots of science stuff, and my favorite and most inspiring teachers were my science teachers. And yet, I had no formal training or background in it. And you know, when we started this job in 2002 I thought I was coming with some real skills, having spent years working in special effects. I now see I was a baby and had no idea. The education I got in this — I now consider myself a “gentleman scientist” — it has fundamentally altered the way I think about things. Are there any experiments you didn’t do on the show that you wished you could have? No, not really. There is one famous one about Formula One race cars, that they have so much downforce that you can drive them upside down, but there is just no way we’re ever going to be able to do that. In the last season we tackled a

few pretty amazing stories that had eluded us up until then. What are people going to be most excited to see in the final season? I am really proud of this final season; I think the crew did a great job. I think the cinematography of MythBusters… it’s one of the loveliest shows on TV. I also think I personally had more fun this season than I have ever had before. It was a great experience and I will sorely miss my crew. I hope to keep working with them on other things. Post-MythBusters, what will you do when you think of a myth you want to test out? Do you have a desire to test things for fun? I totally think so. It’s in my nature, and I have been given this incredible opportunity to learn how to build robust methodology in order to come to conclusions, and I love doing that. When I cook, I absolutely do rigorous testing methodologies. I run through multiple iterations of things, and have gone through the objectively best way to cook sweet potato fries. To me that is an extra hour in the kitchen, but it’s something I’ll never forget. It’s really, really fun, and I also get to enjoy sweet potato fries often.

How does the format of the TV show translate to what you’re doing on stage? It was tricky. We ended up with basically what ends up being sort of a magic show. We bring tons of audience members up and show them things to help them understand. It’s all-ages, and it actually does get quite bombastic at times. It’s also a chance for fans to really see what we’re genuinely like. After all these years on the show, for us it’s this great experience of a whole different way of storytelling, which I find very invigorating. What’s next for you? To jump with both feet into Tested. com — that is my home on the web, where I’ve been incubating all sorts of ideas over the years. Now with the advent of some free time, I plan to generate a lot more one-day builds, interviews, some travel, and also talking about how to get kids interested in STEM [science, technology, engineering, math] fields. There are never too many critical thinkers in the world, and I’d like to help as many of them [as possible] come to fruition. n MythBusters: Jamie & Adam Unleashed! • Fri, Dec. 11, at 7:30 pm • $52/$127.50 • All-ages • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • ticketswest.com

TWISTED AND TASTY The Gilded Unicorn puts a new spin on traditional pub fare BY DAN NAILEN

he first indication there’s something new happening in the basement of the Montvale Hotel might be a large mural not far from the entry, one of the leftovers from the departed Catacombs restaurant that chef/ owner Adam Hegsted decided to keep when he took over the space. But Hegsted wasn’t going to preserve the painting as-is. He wanted to give it a new twist — a common theme for his latest venture, the Gilded Unicorn, where the menu is dominated by modernized pub grub and classic cocktail updates. The twist on that mural? Hegsted had someone replace the heads of the three drinking buddies from the original with the heads of the mythical beast that helped give his new spot its name. Plenty busy with the burgeoning culinary empire he’s built over the past few years, including Yards Bruncheon and The Wandering Table in Spokane and The Cellar in Coeur d’Alene, Hegsted wasn’t necessarily looking to open another place just yet. But his memories of the soaring ceilings, rock walls and prominent wood accents on past visits to Catacombs for pizza allowed him to ignore the “For Rent” sign in the window for only so long. “The timing here was not ideal. It wasn’t what I was planning, but it’s such a fantastic spot, so it was really hard to pass it up,” Hegsted says, noting that his team has worked together for years, and was excited to brainstorm ideas for the one-of-a-kind Spokane space. The subterranean location fueled the direction of that brainstorm into what Gilded Unicorn became. It had a soft opening last week, and officially opens Friday. ...continued on next page

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 51

FOOD | OPENING

At The Davenport Grand

The Gilded Unicorn serves subterranean cocktails beneath the Montvale. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“TWISTED AND TASTY,” CONTINUED...

Now open and serving highly addictive small plates from $6.50-$13 each Dinner and Whiskey Bar Tuesday - Saturday 5 PM - Close Open Table Online reservations — table13spokane.com

davenporthotel.com • 509.598.4300

52 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

“I had the idea for a speakeasy bar just because of the feeling of this space,” Hegsted says. “It’s a classic Spokane place, and obviously we used to have some of that [underground booze trade] going on here. I wanted to bring back that feeling of the very classic style, but I wanted to have fun with it.” Hence the silly name and kitschy artwork covering the walls, in place of the old tapestries that adorned them during Catacombs’ decade-plus run. The fun isn’t relegated to the décor, as the menu has plenty of options for visitors to have a chuckle while they get their drink on, from the names of cocktails like the Guns n’ Rosé (Old Grand-Dad bourbon, Lillet, Peychaud’s bitters, grapefruit) and Pink Elephant (gin, maraschino, blackberry, grapefruit, lime) to food that will take many back in time. “We basically sat down and talked about the ’50s. Or not even the ’50s, but just stuff that our moms made, like Rice-A-Roni and tater-tot casserole,” Hegsted says. “We made a list and sort of whittled it down to things we can make a little different or special, and fit in a pub.” The resulting menu is full of items sure to become new favorites for fans of some of the specialties at Hegsted’s other restaurants. In addition to glamorized versions of the Rice-ARoni (now Rice-y-Roni Stroganoff, $10, featuring braised beef in slow-cooked risotto) and the aforementioned casserole (this version, $9, includes braised beef, wild mushrooms and brown cheese with the tater tots), the “Less Hungry” section of the menu has Pigs in a Blanket ($12) featuring a flaky pastry and delicious house-smoked sausage, and a brick-fired pretzel ($9) served with a Gouda fondue. The “More Hungry” section includes creative takes on mac and cheese, Swedish meatballs and a particularly tasty Mini Chicken Dinner, served with pickles, gravy and chicken fat potatoes ($16). The food will certainly make some folks regulars, and the bar featuring craft cocktails, a decent selection of wines by the glass and rotating taps of local brews will keep the Gilded Unicorn open late for the drinking crowd. Hegsted will serve brunch on Sundays, too, to serve the downtown hotel crowd and perhaps some of the folks hung over from a visit the night before. Whatever draws people to his new space, Hegsted is confident that the region is ready for another new spot to eat. “There are so many corporate restaurants around here that people like seeing something unique,” Hegsted says. “In the last five years, [the Inland Northwest dining scene has] been growing exponentially. The culinary and hospitality community has been growing so much and so fast, there’s actually some great places to eat here instead of, like, four choices. It’s really cool to see that growing, and being a part of that.” n Gilded Unicorn • 110 S. Monroe, basement of Montvale Hotel • Open Mon-Thu, 11:30 am-midnight; Fri-Sat, 11:30 am-1:30 am; Sun, 8:30 am-2:30 pm • gildedunicorn.com • 309-3698

FOOD | WINE

Greg and Shelman at Craftsman Winery’s tasting room in Kendall Yards.

Finely Made

QUINN WESTERN PHOTO

Greg Shelman has realized a lifelong love of wine in Craftsman Winery BY QUINN WESTERN

reg Shelman became a wine connoisseur at 14 years old. He has the card from a Napa Valley winery to prove it. He couldn’t drink, of course. But he held the corks up to his nostrils and was so enamored by the scent that he carried those corks around in his pocket for days. Shelman is all grown up now and has saltand-pepper hair, a wife and adult children, and a new tasting room at Kendall Yards for his Craftsman Winery. His love of wine stayed with him through pharmacy school and then his downtown furniture business, Shelman Handcrafted. It’s a skill that comes through in all of the woodwork in the tasting room. He constructed the bar, and the woodwork on the wall and ceiling. On an opposing yellow wall is the bright, painted-thread artwork by local artist Christina Rothe. The name, Craftsman Winery, comes from his passion for craftsmanship and the attention to detail he believes are needed in creating both furniture and wine. “I think we take way more credit as a winemaker than we’re due,” Shelman says. “[Winemaking] is thousands and thousands years old, by craftsmen paying attention to detail and trying to do things the right way.” Shelman returned to Washington State University in 2003 and was the first to graduate from its viticulture and enology program. He does a traditional cold soak method,

utilizes gravity instead of pumps to minimize oxygen, and possesses French oak barrels that are made with the same wood as the bar in the tasting room. On the shelf right now sits a pinot noir, a merlot/pinot noir blend, a syrah, a Cabernet Sauvignon and the Mattawa red (a syrah/Cabernet Sauvignon blend). Serving a pinot noir is already a standout, since most of these grapes in Washington are used for sparkling wine. But that detail is outwined by the ENTRÉE unique coGet the scoop on local fermentation food news with our weekly between merlot Entrée newsletter. Sign up and pinot at Inlander.com/newsletter. noir, of which Shelman only made 75 cases. “This came about not by artistic design,” he laughs. Shelman didn’t have enough merlot, so he made up the difference with the extra pinot he had. It’s a blend that comes as a surprise to most who visit the tasting room, but it’s a pleasant surprise. “ Jeremiah was a bullfrog, but he always had some mighty fine wine,” he says, smiling. “That’s what I hope to have: mighty fine wine.” n Craftsman Winery • 1194 W. Summit Pkwy. • Open Tue-Thu, 2-8 pm; Fri-Sat, 2-10 pm; Sun, 2-6 pm • craftsmanwinery.com • 328-3960

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 53 SpokaneSymphony_Events_121015_8V_GG.tif

Seeing Double Tom Hardy shines in two roles in Legend, but the historical gangster flick misses its mark BY MARYANN JOHANSON

om Hardy is Ronnie Kray. And Tom the city they meant to conquer” and depicting Hardy is Reggie Kray. And Tom Hardy them as glamorous, sometimes even amusing, is the best — and pretty much the only in their viciousness. There is no irony in the — reason to check out this rather shockingly rhapsodic perspective of Reg’s girlfriend Franlaudatory crime thriller based on the life and, ces Shea, who became his wife and dreamily er, work of two of the most notorious gangsters narrates the story via her love-hate relationship London has ever borne witness to. As both of with Reg; and there is no hint of appreciation the identical Kray twins, Hardy is a wonder, for Frances’ self-delusion that Reg will somecarrying his body, comporting his face, and day, somehow go straight. subtly shifting his voice in ways There’s a bigger, better story that never leave the viewer in hinted at here, one that places the LEGEND any doubt as to which brother he Krays in a context of how orgaRated R is embodying at any given monized crime operates and how it Directed by Brian Helgeland ment (though the eyeglasses Ron ultimately brought them down, Starring Tom Hardy, Emily Brownwears help, too). but opportunities for taking that ing, Chazz Palminteri But here’s the problem with direction come and go unacted Legend: while Reg may be a relaupon. Chazz Palminteri arrives as tive voice of reason and lucidity next to Ron, an emissary from Meyer Lansky, who is bent whom one shrink deems “certifiably insane” on making London “the Las Vegas of Europe,” and likely an undiagnosed paranoid schizowhich we now know never happened, perhaps phrenic, they are both sociopaths. They are because the Krays didn’t capitalize on it for violent, narcissistic men with no thought for some reason; this sidebar goes nowhere. Paul anyone but themselves (except, perhaps, the Bettany as a rival crime lord and Christopher mother who worships them) as they rule the Eccleston as the cop determined to stop the criminal underworld of London’s East End in Krays are, well, criminally underused. the 1960s. Legend ends up feeling like GoodFellas lite, They are not mythic or heroic or legdeploying all the clichés of the genre but failing endary, but writer-director Brian Helgeland to come to any true understanding of what — working from the book The Profession of drives men like the Krays. Even if we cannot Violence by John Pearson — treats them as such, sympathize with their motives, we should introducing us to them as “gangster princes of understand them. And we never do. n

54 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

FILM | SHORTS

In the Heart of the Sea

OPENING FILMS IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

Ron Howard’s latest big screen effort takes us out into the Atlantic for the real story that inspired Moby Dick. The historical drama takes us to the southern Pacific Ocean where in 1820 the crew of the Essex battled with a massive sperm whale that — spoiler alert, in case you slept through your junior English class — sinks the whaling vessel. We know about that, but the film also tells of the surviving whalers struggle to stay alive at sea after the Essex was gone. Starring Chris Hemsworth, Benjamin Walker and Cillian Murphy. (MB) Rated PG-13

LEGEND

As both of the identical Kray twins, Tom Hardy is a wonder, carrying his body, comporting his face, and subtly shifting his voice in ways that never leave the viewer in any doubt as to

which brother he is embodying at any given moment (though the eyeglasses that Ron wears help, too). The Krays are violent, narcissistic men with no thought for anyone but themselves (except, perhaps, the mother who worships them) as they rule the criminal underworld of London’s East End in the 1960s. (MJ) Rated R

SITY R E V I CERT TH UN N R O O C W TIVAL S WHIT E F TMAS S I R H C

2015

G N I R

THEEB

Theeb (played by newcomer Jacir Eid) is a young Bedouin boy who is forced to fend for himself after he jumps camp to follow his beloved older brother Hussein (Hussein Salameh) on a mission to guide a British army officer (Jack Fox) to a long-abandoned well. Set in 1916, this Jordanian film from director Naji Abu Nowar is the country’s official entry into the upcoming Academy Awards. At Magic Lantern. (MS) Not Rated

CREED

Donny is an angry orphaned teen, rescued from the foster-care system by the widow (Phylicia Rashad) of boxing legend Apollo Creed from the Rocky series. She has learned that Donny is the illegitimate son of her late husband and has decided to take responsibility for him — and that unique backstory of a tough kid brought into a life of privilege gives Michael B. Jordan the opportunity for a terrific performance. Donny then heads into the ring for a boxing career with help from his trainer, none other than Rocky himself (Sylvester Stallone, of course). (SR) Rated PG-13

THE GOOD DINOSAUR

The latest offering from Pixar is this computer-animated story that gives us an Earth that was never hit by the asteroid that knocked off the dinosaurs, and thus people and the mega lizards live together on the planet. When an Apatosaurus named Arlo is orphaned after his dad dies in an accident, he tries to make his way home and along the way befriends a boy named Spot. (MB) Rated PG

Pe ace

Set in 1957, it’s the fact-based story of how Jim Donovan (Tom Hanks) came to be assigned as the public defender for Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance), a Russian spy facing possible execution for espionage. The prosecution and judge want the appearance of a fair trial that holds up America’s ideals during the peak of the Cold War, but they don’t really care about whether it’s actually fair. (SR) Rated PG-13

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY — PART 2

In the last installment of the franchise, Katniss Everdeen (the amazing Jennifer Lawrence), doesn’t lead the rebels of District 13 in what everyone hopes will be a definitive assault on the Capitol. Instead, she’s bringing up the rear with the propaganda filmmaking team, making videos that will hopefully sway the hearts and minds of the Capitol citizens, who naturally aren’t on the rebels’ side. She’s going to take down President Snow, no matter what it takes. (MJ) PG-13

THE MARTIAN

From the director of epics like Alien, Gladiator and most recently Prometheus comes this chilling, definitive film about survival and the ongoing mission of life on Mars. When a devastating storm forces a NASA crew on Mars to head home, Mark Watney ...continued on next page

ven i g s i d w o rl

Sat., Dec. 12, at 8 p.m. Sun., Dec. 13, at 3 p.m. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox 1001 W. Sprague Ave.

Tickets may be purchased at the box office at Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, by phone at 509.624.1200 or at www.martinwoldsontheater.com. $20 regular admission | $15 student/senior (62-plus)

KRAMPUS

Each Christmas, good children everywhere get the gift of their dreams in triumph. But what do the bad children get? No, not coal — Krampus. When the family Christmas party goes sour, Tom (Adam Scott) and his family must fend for their lives after Max (Emjay Anthony) destroys his letter to Santa Claus in anger, summoning the ancient evil spirit of Krampus. Though David Koechner supports Scott in maintaining the laughs, you’ll definitely want to leave the Santa-believers at home for this one, as Krampus relentlessly shocks with terrifying images of your most beloved Christmas characters. (MC) Rated PG-13

y o J he t to

NOW PLAYING BRIDGE OF SPIES

R U O Y T U O

For more information, please contact the Whitworth Music Office at 509.777.3280 or music@whitworth.edu.

: A PAIR OF TICKETS TO

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Dec. 24th

ENTER HERE: INLANDER.COM/SPOKANE/FREESTUFF

We are your official Christmas shopping rehydration station. 1931 W. Pacific Ave. 363-1973  wedonthaveone.com

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 55

FILM | SHORTS BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY!

NOW PLAYING (Matt Damon) is lost in the chaos and presumed dead. But when Watney wakes up, alone and 140 million miles from home, he is faced with a decision; live or die. (MC) Rated PG-13

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

MY ALL AMERICAN

PRESENT

at the

BING CROSBY THEATER

THURSDAY DEC. 10th, 2015

Suffragette

The Good Dinosaur

HG: Mockingjay 2

Trumbo

Spectre

DOORS: 5:30pm SHOW STARTS: 6:30pm

SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY BUDDY THE ELF RAFFLES • PHOTO BOOTH FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

TICKETS $5 PROCEEDS BENEFIT

CATHOLIC CHARITIES

56 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

The 33 DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

sake museum in Venice. At Magic Lantern (MB) Not Rated

ROOM

Jack lives with his mom (Brie Larson) in Room (no “the”), the only place on earth the 5-year-old has ever known. Room is a dingy toolshed supplied with nothing more than life’s essentials (a single bed where they both sleep, a toilet, dilapidated fridge, ancient TV and unreachable skylight) where Jack and Ma go through their daily regimen of washing, exercising, reading, eating, etc. On Jack’s fifth birthday, his mom decides to tell her son about the outside world… and hope for a life outside of Room. (MB) Rated R

THE NIGHT BEFORE

THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES

THE PEANUTS MOVIE

The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved into town, and Charlie Brown is simultaneously desperate to impress her, and terrified of actually interacting with her. So he embarks on a series of likely doomed endeavors to prove his worth: entering the school talent show; learning to dance so he can dazzle at a school event; binge-reading War and Peace so he can write the most erudite book report in third-grade history. (SR) Rated G

PEGGY GUGGENHEIM: ART ADDICT

This gorgeous profile of the legendary art collector paints the eccentric Peggy Guggenheim as the trailblazer that she was in American culture after some of her story had been lost to history. The documentary by Lisa Immordino Vreeland tells how Guggenheim amassed one of the world’s most prestigious art collections before opening her name-

(OUT OF 100)

My All American chronicles the journey of Freddie Steinmark, an undersized defensive back who played his way onto the University of Texas football team in 1969. Already considered an underdog, Freddie was diagnosed with bone cancer above his knee following his legendary effort against the University of Arkansas in what was known the “Game of the Century.” Steinmark’s fight with cancer spurred the passing of the National Cancer Act of 1971, contributing greatly to the beginning of the modern fight against cancer. (MC) Rated PG Facing the last Christmas Eve before the birth of his first child, Isaac (Seth Rogen) and his buddies Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Chris (Anthony Mackie) take off on a quest to find the best Christmas party in New York City. In a massively surprising twist, The Night Before comes complete with a stoned Rogen, as well as the remnants of a bad-boy JGL from Don Jon. Featuring the mandatory appearance by James Franco, the absurdity bar seems to have been raised a little higher when it comes to holiday laughers. (MC) Rated R

METACRITIC.COM

Room

MEET THE PATELS

Actor Ravi Patel was nearing 30 and still single when he decided to let his family help find him a wife in the traditional Indian fashion. So, he took a camera along and documented the process in this comedic documentary about love, culture and family. At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated PG

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

Julia Roberts reminds us why she is one of the most badass women in Hollywood as Jess, an FBI investigator who finds her daughter’s dead body while answering a call. Thirteen years after the murder, with the help of her old partner Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and their DA supervisor Claire (Nicole Kidman), the three sleuths find a lead that may finally solve the case. Suspense abounds throughout The Secret in Their Eyes, as Jess will go to any lengths to find the man who killed her daughter — and serve up the justice that her daughter deserves. (MC) Rated PG-13

SPECTRE

In the immediate aftermath of the events of Skyfall, Bond (Daniel Craig) has gone rogue, chasing hints of a big bad guy around the globe, while back in London, the new M (Ralph Fiennes) is battling with C (Andrew Scott), who is about to launch a new blanket electronic surveillance scheme that will replace the 00 program: something about drone warfare being more efficient than spies with a license to kill. (MJ) Rated PG-13

SPOTLIGHT

In 2001, the Boston Globe editor-inchief Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) asked the paper’s “Spotlight” investigative news team — Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton), Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James) — to turn their attention to the case of a Catholic priest accused of sexually abusing several

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

children. And as they begin digging — at first reluctantly — into the case, they discover that the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston might be engaging on a massive scale in hushing up cases of abusive priests. (SR) Rated R

STEVE JOBS

Steve Jobs, written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by Danny Boyle, touches on all these aspects of Jobs’ legacy. Framed as three distinct scenes, it follows Jobs in the minutes before three major product launches: the Macintosh announcement in 1984 that led to his firing from Apple; the introduction of Jobs’s first and only post-Apple project, the NeXT Computer, in 1988; and his triumphant return to Apple with the announcement of the first iMac. (PC) Rated R

SUFFRAGETTE

Carey Mulligan stars as Maud Watts, a Londoner who was born and raised in a laundry, in 1912 London as the fight for women’s right began to take hold. As a group of women campaign for voting privileges in a movement led by Emmeline Pankhurst (Meryl Streep), a detective tries to undermine and dismantle their efforts. (PC) Rated PG-13

THE 33

It’s based on the real-life incident in which 33 workers at a gold-and-copper mine in Chile’s Atacama Desert were trapped after a massive rock fell and blocked the only exit, inspiring rescue efforts that drew international attention. The improbable circumstances behind their (historical spoiler alert) survival is a natural for cinematic treatment, one that could be inspirational both as an example of resilient faith and as a case study in institutional determination. (SR) Rated PG-13

TRUMBO

A celebrated screenwriter (Kitty Foyle, Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo) and novelist (Johnny Got His Gun) when the Red Scare machine revved up, Dalton Trumbo was one of the more prominent Hollywood players to be called to appear before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1947 to discuss his perfectly legal involvement in the Communist Party. Here, he’s played brilliantly by Bryan Cranston in a story that can be overly theatrical at times. (KJ) Rated R 

FILM | REVIEW

THE MAGIC LANTERN

FRI DEC 11TH - THU DEC 17TH

ROOM (118 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 7:30, Sun: 6:30, Mon-Wed: 6:30, Thu: 4:00

SUFFRAGETTE (106 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 2:45, Sun: 1:45 Mon-Thu: 2:00

TRUMBO (124 MIN)

Advance Tickets Now on Sale!

Fri/Sat: 5:00, Sun: 4:00, Mon-Wed: 4:00

THEEB (100 MIN) Fri/Sat: 6:00, Sun: 5:00, Mon-Wed: 5:00 PEGGY GUGGENHEIM: ART ADDICT (97 MIN) Fri/Sat: 4:15, Sun: 3:15, Mon-Wed: 6:45

MEET THE PATELS (88 MIN) *last weekend! Fri/Sat: 7:45, Sun: 1:30 25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $8 www.magiclanternspokane.com

AIRWAY HEIGHTS

10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

PG-13 Daily (4:15) 9:15 Sat-Sun (11:15) In 2D Daily 6:45 8:45 Sat-Sun (1:45)

KRAMPUS

PG-13 Daily (2:50) (5:00) 7:10 9:20 Sat-Sun (10:30) (12:40)

THE GOOD DINOSAUR

In 2D Daily (3:00) (5:10) 7:15 9:10 Sat-Sun (10:50) (12:50)

The young Jacir Eid shines as the title character in Theeb.

Small Talent

CREED

MOVIE TIMES on

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 2

PG-13 Daily (4:10) 6:20 9:40 Sat-Sun (10:30) (1:15)

THE NIGHT BEFORE

R Daily (4:40) 7:10 9:45 Sat-Sun (11:30) (2:10)

SECRET IN THEIR EYES

PG-13 Daily (2:40) (5:00) 7:15 9:35 Sat-Sun (12:20)

SPECTRE

PG-13 Daily (3:40) 6:40 9:40 Sat-Sun (12:40)

THE PEANUTS MOVIE

Theeb’s young star makes for an international success

G Daily (2:40) (4:40) 6:40 Sat-Sun (10:30) (12:30)

THE MARTIAN

PG-13 Daily (3:30) 6:30 9:30 Sat-Sun (12:30)

WANDERMERE

BY MARC SAVLOV

12622 N Division • 509-232-7727

bout as perfect a companion piece to Dadesert and its chilly, inhumane beauty, but the vid Lean’s Lawrence of Arabia as one could focus remains on young Theeb and the unnamed hope for, this first feature from Jordanian killer with whom bloody circumstances force him director Naji Abu Nowar is that country’s official to travel. If that sounds like a riff on the great entry into the upcoming Academy Awards. It’s American Western, well, it is. 1916, and Theeb (newcomer Jacir Eid), a young Sergio Leone and John Ford would likely Bedouin boy, is forced to fend for himself after he both recognize Nowar’s film as an echo of their jumps camp to follow his beloved older brother own Monument Valley adventures. David Lean, Hussein (Hussein Salameh) on a maybe not so much. Something THEEB mission to guide a British army of a microcosmic mirror image Not Rated officer (Jack Fox) to a long-abanto the grand, epic overkill of T.E. Directed by Naji Abu Nowar doned well. Lawrence’s Arabian knights, Theeb Once there, they find that ban- Starring Jacir Eid, Hussein Salworks a similar emotional and ameh, Hassan Mutlag, Jack Fox dits, presumably, have slaughtered geopolitical spectrum from a far the Brit’s men. A moonlit battle more intimate angle. It succeeds ensues, leaving Theeb the only brilliantly, thanks in no small part survivor, but for one: a wounded marauder (Has— pun unintended — to the riveting work of the san Mutlag). “Without me you will die,” he tells pint-sized Jacir Eid, who bypasses cute ’n’ plucky the boy, and therein hangs the tale of Theeb (the and goes straight to contemplative badass as his name, fittingly, means “wolf”) and his accelerated life and entire world spin out of control before journey from wide-eyed innocent to desperate his eyes. Viewed from the perspective of this young man. young Bedouin, Theeb presages the treacherous Nowar’s rapturously shot film (by Wolfgang partitioning of Arab lands at the end of the Great Thaler, of Ulrich Seidl’s Paradise trilogy) captures War, and all the terrible echoes of colonialism both the sprawling, void-like emptiness of the that continue to plague us today. n

PG-13 Daily (4:00) 6:45 9:30 Sat-Sun (10:20) (1:15)

PG-13

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

Daily (4:15) 9:15 Fri-Sun (11:15) In 2D Daily (1:45) 6:45

KRAMPUS

PG-13 Daily (12:40) (2:50) (5:00) 7:10 9:20 Fri-Sun (10:30)

THE LETTERS

PG Daily (1:50) (4:20) 6:50 9:15 Fri-Sun (11:20)

THE GOOD DINOSAUR

PG Daily (3:00) 9:20 In 2D Daily (12:10) (12:50) (2:20) (4:30) (5:10) 6:40 7:15 8:50 Fri-Sun (10:50)

CREED

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58 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

TWIST AND SHOUT Seattle’s soul-tinged rock act Down North likes playing Spokane, and we like having them BY LAURA JOHNSON

here comes a point in any transcendent concert when the band has won. Fans are dancing and sweating and drinking. They don’t have their cell phones out checking to see what’s happening elsewhere; they only want this music played by these musicians to float into eternity. That’s what Seattle soul band Down North has worked so hard to achieve with their shows. Each time they come to Spokane, making multiple appearances a year, they win. In August, Down North’s set at Mootsy’s ignited the night. The audience kept looking at one another in amazement and disbelief. The band’s Volume music festival show in May had a similar effect. Together, the four-piece grooves with hypnotic and virtuosic energy. Nicholas Quiller is known to unleash wild guitar solos. Conrad Real’s gospel-style drumming makes complex and showy beats danceable and Brandon Storms keeps it all together with his chest-thumping bass licks. But it’s Anthony Briscoe who entrances; the band’s big-haired frontman moves and sings like he’s on fire. Down North keeps coming back to Spokane because they feel accepted here. “Spokane gives us love,” Briscoe says. “You have to go somewhere where people ...continued on next page

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 59

MUSIC | SOUL “TWIST AND SHOUT,” CONTINUED...

FIND THE HAPPY HOUR NEAREST YOU.

Food and Drink Specials • Times • Locations

INLANDER.COM/DRINKSPOTTER 60 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

appreciate you. They don’t appreciate us in our hometown.” They could all just move — Storms did; he lives in Portland now. But the others have ties to Seattle. In one sense, it’s about making it happen from where they are. Seattle is one of the places where Ray Charles got his start; there’s still plenty of soulful rock music being made there. Next month, Down Down North frontman, Anthony Briscoe North plays Neumos on Capitol WILEY QUIXOTE PHOTO Hill; they’re just not at the top of the bill. Saturday night, Down North is back in Spokane headlining the Big Dipper’s ugly sweater holiday party. “People think we’re a funk band,” Briscoe says. “Three of the dudes are black and we’re playing rock ’n’ roll, and so people don’t know what to call it. But there are no horns on the stage. We’re soul. Rock ’n’ roll has soul.” Briscoe is a song-and-dance man, perhaps of a different era. He laces conversation with phrases like “keep it groovy and hiplike.” Always wanting to shine as a kid in North Carolina, he took ballet classes and performed in musicals. He’s played the scarecrow in The Wiz at least four times, modeling his performance on Michael Jackson’s film portrayal. (Briscoe loved the recent live version of the show on NBC.) Briscoe reveres Michael Jackson. Prince inspires him, too. The pink pants he struts around in on stage are a tribute to a look Jackson once donned. In front of an audience, Briscoe’s dance moves are free-form, yet rooted in the classics. “When you start with Jackson’s moves, you have to look at James Brown and Fred Astaire’s, too,” Briscoe explains. “You have to see what they did and then add in your own attitude.” The current act is a far cry from the original Down North formed in 2007 — the band started with eight white guys. Storms is the only one left of the original crew. When the singer quit, Briscoe came to the rescue, but his dramatic stage style alienated some of the other musicians. Cracks slowly formed and the band mostly parted ways, making way for the act Briscoe always imagined. “I say, look at the top. You got Michael Jackson, shoot for that. Period,” Briscoe says. The band travels all around the country; already they’ve played blocks of shows in New York City four times this year. While they have about 70 original tunes, and a handful of killer covers, like the Beatles’ “Come Together” and Stevie Wonder’s “Higher Ground,” they’ve only released one studio EP. Currently, the band has a recording finished, but Briscoe says the only way to release the disc right is through correct promotion. He says it may come out next May. A self-described stickler, Briscoe says that just a few months ago he was nearly homeless, couch-surfing until he found a landlord willing to overlook a past eviction. Still, he refuses to get another job. “It’s a weird thing with me. I feel like I have to prove a point, that in order to make it in the music business you have to make it playing full time,” Briscoe admits. He refers to a lot of other artists as hobbyists. Down North certainly isn’t that. “This band, we’re about bringing musicianship back to pop music, because that’s what it used to be,” Briscoe says. “Motown and Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin — you got these great musicians making pop records, and now you have the closet DJs, you’re not getting real musicians making pop records. That’s what we are.”  lauraj@inlander.com Ugly sweater holiday party feat. Down North, Blackwater Prophet and Bullets or Balloons • Sat, Dec. 12, at 7:30 pm • $5/$8 • All-ages • The Big Dipper • 171 S. Washington • bigdipperevents.com • 863-8098

MUSIC | HIP-HOP

He may not look like it, but comedic rapper Lil Dicky can bust a move.

Against the Flow Comedic rapper Lil Dicky wants to ‘do the whole thing different’ BY MAX CARTER

uring the animated “Professional Rapper” music video, David “Lil Dicky” Burd sits in Snoop Dogg’s office and rhythmically explains that he wants to “do the whole thing different.” Lil Dicky’s flow is relentless, as his character spits to Snoop his visions of changing hip-hop forever as an employee at the hypothetical Rap Game Inc. Initially, the cartoon Snoop Dogg takes offense to Lil Dicky’s apparent lack of respect, but is quickly swayed by his passionate explanation of why the rap game needs him. And cartoon Lil Dicky has a point — there aren’t a lot of 27-year-old Jews bursting onto the rap scene. Not surprisingly, some of Lil Dicky’s work has proved controversial, in particular the track “White

Dude,” which attempts to satirically comment on white privilege in America. Not everybody understood the satire, earning him charming monikers such as “a defensive, clueless asshole” and “the sociopath’s answer to Macklemore” from various online publications. In an interview with HipHopDX.com, Dicky clarified his motives with “White Dude.” “I’d say you are looking at it the wrong way if you are taking this song literally,” said Dicky. “The song is about the realities of our society. I don’t shape those realities. I just comment on them. So be mad at whatever is shaping those realities. I’m just the funny messenger.” This epitomizes what Lil Dicky is all about, and is exactly why he would be a valuable employee at Rap

Game Inc. Originally from an upper-middle-class family in the Philadelphia suburbs, Dicky questions the current rap game through song. He can’t relate to the life of crime, sex and drugs so often perpetuated in popular rap, but that’s not the kind of rapper Dicky wants to be. Lyrically speaking, Dicky is the real deal, highlighted by killer metaphors and rhymes, and an ability to flow at any cadence. Cashing in on today’s social media-driven society, Dicky announced a Kickstarter campaign in November 2013. It blew past his goal of $70,000, reaching $113,000, and funded the creation of his first LP Professional Rapper, released about a year and a half later. As prophesied in his Kickstarter video, the funding was exactly what Lil Dicky needed to rocket himself into the real rap world. Backed by features from big-time artists like Snoop Dogg and Fetty Wap, Lil Dicky’s debut album has established his staying power as the next big humorous rapper — or according to Dicky, a rapper who’s also funny. n Lil Dicky with C.H., Bezzel, Neves and Artistic • Thu, Dec. 17, at 8 pm • $30 • All-ages • Knitting Factory • 919 W. Sprague • sp.knittingfactory.com • 244-3279

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 61

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

ELECTRO-POP BEAT CONNECTION

eat Connection pairs beats that ebb and flow between smooth and harsh with instrumentation and lethargic vocals that revel in the notion of feeling good (check out the track “So Good” as a starting point). The Seattlebased electro-pop four-piece already stopped in Spokane earlier this year; this time, they’re on their Product Placement Tour touting October’s Product 3 album, which took three years to get out into the world. The whole record is an exploration of the balance between Top 40 catchiness and indie obscurity. Working within the middle ground, the band has settled into a sound that will only continue to bloom. — LAURA JOHNSON Beat Connection • Sat, Dec. 12, at 8 pm • $12/$15 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 12/10

ArBor CreST Wine CellArS, Fireside Music Series: Bill Bozly J The BArTleTT, The English Beat J The Big Dipper, Black Sabbitch, Vial 8, Thunder Knife BoomerS ClASSiC roCk BAr & grill, Randy Campbell acoustic show BooTS BAkery & lounge, The Song Project J BuCer’S CoFFeehouSe puB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen BuCkhorn inn, The Spokane River Band J ChApS, Spare Parts Coeur D’Alene CASino, PJ Destiny CrAve, Stoney Hawk Fizzie mulligAnS, Kicho The FlAme, DJ WesOne hogFiSh, Apollo Live John’S Alley, Down North mik’S (208-66-0450), DJ Brentano The pAlomino, DJ Funk, DJ Perfechter reD room lounge, Latin Tursdays feat. DJ Wax808 The viking BAr & grill, Christy Lee and the Nine Lives zolA, Island Soul

Friday, 12/11

ArBor CreST Wine CellArS, Fireside Music Series: Karrie O’Neill J The BArTleTT, Bartlett Christmas Special (See story above) feat. Cathedral Pearls, Friends of Mine, Loomer, Perenne and more Beverly’S, Robert Vaughn Big Sky’S TAvern (489-2073), PJ Destiny BigFooT puB, YESTERDAYSCAKE BlACk DiAmonD, The Diamond DJ Bolo’S, Slow Burn BoomerS ClASSiC roCk BAr & grill, Haze

62 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

EVENT BARTLETT CHRISTMAS

ast year, the Bartlett Christmas Special event sold out — proving that as cheesy as much Christmas music has become, we still crave its familiarity. Once again, the Bartlett’s owners play on our base instincts, whipping up a holiday concert and subsequent album. Local acts on the cheery bill, and featured on the indie rock-influenced Bartlett Christmas — Vol. #2 album, include Cathedral Pearls (pictured), Friends of Mine, Loomer, Pérenne and Lucas Brown. For Friday’s event, more local artists will make surprise appearances and Derrick Oliver will emcee. Also, just to make the evening a little brighter, expect a sing-along portion. — LAURA JOHNSON Bartlett Christmas Special • Fri, Dec. 11, at 8 pm • $10/$15 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

J BuCer’S CoFFeehouSe puB, David Ward Band J CAlypSoS CoFFee & CreAmery, The Nicholas Peter CheCkerBoArD BAr, Jazz Night Coeur D’Alene CASino, Kicho, Tell the Boys CrAve, Stoney Hawk Curley’S, Tracer FeDorA puB & grille, Kyle Swaffard Fizzie mulligAnS, Dragonfly The FlAme, DJ Big Mike & DJ Sassy gooDTymeS BAr & grill (9281070), DJ WesOne hogFiSh, Working Spliffs iron horSe BAr, Aftermath The JACkSon ST., The Usual Suspects JoneS rADiATor, Tsuga kniTTing FACTory, The Winter Meltdown feat. Level Ground, Montana Montana Montana, Lou Era, Young West, Dyve, Sdot, Young Neves, Kosh and more

mik’S, DJ Kenya J mooTSy’S, Moral Crux, Redvolt, Fun Ladies, Switchin to Whiskey mulligAn’S BAr & grille, Truck Mills nAShville norTh, Luke Jaxon Band, DJ Tom norThern QueST CASino, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ MC Squared The pAlomino, White Wonderland EDM Show feat. DJ Funk pATiT Creek CellArS, Ken Davis In Transit penD D’oreille Winery, Devon Wade J pinnACle norThWeST, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 1 feat. Age of Nefilim, Reason for Existence, Benign, Lo’ There Do I See My Brother, Deaf To, Serpentspire, Rise & Shine, In Defiance, 37 Street Signs

The riDler piAno BAr, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler The roCk BAr & lounge (4433796), Cary Fly STuDio 107 (208-664-1201), Robby French The roADhouSe, Raised in a Barn The viking BAr & grill, Cattywomp zolA, Jesse Weston Band

Saturday, 12/12

BArloWS AT liBerTy lAke (9241446), Jan Harrison J The BArTleTT, Beat Connection (See story above) Beverly’S, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Ugly sweater holiday party (See story on page 59) feat. Down North, Blackwater Prophet, Bullets or Balloons BigFooT puB, YESTERDAYSCAKE BlACk DiAmonD, The Diamond DJ

Bolo’S, Slow Burn BoomerS ClASSiC roCk BAr & grill, Haze J BuCer’S CoFFeehouSe puB, Dan Maher J ChApS, Just Plain Darin Coeur D’Alene CASino, Kicho, Tell the Boys CrAve, DJ Precision Curley’S, Tracer eAST SpokAne grAnge (9280692), Contra Dance The FlAme, DJ Big Mike & DJ Sassy gem STATe CluB (208-245-9916), JamShack gooDTymeS BAr & grill, DJ WesOne hogFiSh, Moral Crux, Itchy Kitty, Bird Fight iron horSe BAr, Aftermath The JACkSon ST., DJ Dave John’S Alley, The Student Loan String Band

J KNITTING FACTORY, Della Mae, Mipso, Windoe LA ROSA CLUB, Open Jam THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, Holiday Round feat. local musicians THE LARIAT INN, Widow’s Creek LITZ’S BAR & GRILL (327-7092), SixStrings n’ Pearls MIK’S, DJ Beatkeeper

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NASHVILLE NORTH, Luke Jaxon Band, DJ Tom NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, DJ Ramsin NYNE, DJ C-Mad OFF REGAL LOUNGE (473-9401), Donnie Emerson & Nancy Sophia THE PALOMINO, DJ Funk, DJ Perfechter PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Mike & Shanna J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 2 feat. Straight to Our Enemies, Confires, the Broken Thumbs, Blacktracks, Wake Up Flora, the Camorra,Cutback Davis, Wayward West, Flannel Math Animal, Insipid THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler

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THE ROADHOUSE, Raised in a Barn THE VIKING BAR & GRILL, Nu Jack City ZOLA, Raggs and Bush Doktor

Sunday, 12/13

THE BIG DIPPER, Winter Fresh Out West Tour feat. I.L.A.M., J.Lately, Broke The MC, Heavy Dudey COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church HOGFISH, Open Jam NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Celebrate the Holidays with John Tesh THE PALOMINO, Leftover Soul J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 3 feat. I Declare War, Critic, Prevailing Existence, the Bight, For What May Come, I Hate This City, Profenitus, Bad Hex, AEsh, Heart of An Awl ZOLA, Soulful Max Trio

Monday, 12/14

J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Monday Night Spotlight feat. Carey Brazil RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic with MJ The In-Human Beatbox ZOLA, Fusbol

Tuesday, 12/15

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS, The Rub BING CROSBY THEATER, A Peter White Christmas

BROOKLYN DELI & LOUNGE, Open Mic FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills J INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, [RESCHEDULED] Death Cab for Cutie THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness KELLY’S IRISH PUB, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots MIK’S, DJ Brentano SWAXX, T.A.S.T.Y with DJs Freaky Fred, Beauflexx ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 12/16

THE BACKYARD PUBLIC HOUSE (8227338), Kori Ailene EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard ETSI BRAVO (715-1037), Vinyl is Truth feat. DJ Lucky Brown GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES (368-9087), Open Mic with T & T THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, DJ Lydell LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, DJ Freaky Fred THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Jam with Steve Ridler SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, Open mic J SPOKANE TRANSIT PLAZA, Ken Davis In Transit THE ROADHOUSE, Open mic with Vern Vogel and the Volcanoes WOMAN’S CLUB OF SPOKANE 9 8385667), Spokane Folklore Contra Dance

ZOLA, The Bossame

Coming Up ...

JONES RADIATOR, Madeline McNeill live recording show, Dec. 17 J KNITTING FACTORY, Lil Dicky (See story on page 61) feat. C.H., Bezzel, Neves, Artistic, Dec. 17 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Devin the Dude, Potluck, State of Krisis, Drunken Poetz, Demon Assassin, Eazzy Duz It, Mad Money, Manwitnoname, KC, LOU ERA, Groove Street, Dec. 17 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 4 - 6 feat. the Nixon Rodeo, Moretta, Concrete Grip, Elephant Gun Riot, Black Breath, FAUS, East Sherman the Coulourflies and more, Dec. 18-20 JONES RADIATOR, Ugly Sweater Party feat. Buffalo Jones, B Radicals, Dec. 18 THE MUSEUM, Spokane Jingle Jam with One Louder, Dec. 18 THE HIVE, The Lil’ Smokies, Dec. 18 THE PALOMINO, Project X, Morbid Inc, Blame Shifter, Children of Atom., Dec. 19 BABY BAR, Baby Bar’s Winter Formal, Dec. 19 KNITTING FACTORY, Blue Christmas “A Blues Show” feat. Sammy Eubanks, Dec. 19 JONES RADIATOR, A Festivus Miracle feat. All-Star Band, Dec. 23 THE BARTLETT, New Year’s Eve with Pickwick, Dec. 31

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BIG BARN BREWING • 16004 N. Applewood Ln, Mead • 238-2489 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CALYPSOS • 116 E Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208665-0591 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • (208) 773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 THE FOXHOLE• 829 E. Boone • 315-5327 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 HANDLEBARS • 12005 E. Trent, Spokane Valley • 309-3715 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 THE JACKSON ST. • 2436 N. Astor • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 THE LARIAT • 11820 N Market St, Mead • 4669918 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN RAIL PUB • 5209 N. Market • 487-4269 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 THE PALOMINO • 6425 N Lidgerwood St • 443-5213 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 PINNACLE NORTHWEST • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside . • 822-7938 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SULLIVAN SCOREBOARD • 205 N Sullivan Rd • 891-0880 SWAXX • 23 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 TAMARACK • 912 W Sprague • 315-4846 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 63

MUSIC KINGS OF INDIE

Some musical groups simply transcend the rest of their genre. Since their incarnation in 1997, Death Cab for Cutie has been revolutionizing the world of alternative music with pulsating, intriguing sounds and dream-induced rhythms. Fronted by the legendary Ben Gibbard, the group has accomplished much in their 18 years together, releasing their eighth studio album, Kintsugi, in March. This show, originally set for Oct. 1, was rescheduled after the birth of bassist Nick Harmer’s daughter in late September. — MAX CARTER Death Cab For Cutie with The Helio Sequence • Tue, Dec. 15, at 7:30 pm [rescheduled] • $35/$40 • All-ages • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • ticketswest.com

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64 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

BENEFIT CHEER FOR CHARITY

COMEDY VARIETY OF GOODS

Catholic Charities present: Elf • Thu, Dec. 10, at 6:30 pm • $5 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bit.ly/InlanderElf • 227-7638

The Big Dipper Presents: Beat City USA • Fri, Dec. 11, at 7:30 pm • $5/door • The Big Dipper • 171 S. Washington • bigdipperevents. com • 863-8098

While every family has their holiday movie favorites, from A Charlie Brown Christmas to The Santa Clause, join in on a new community tradition: watching the modern classic Elf. For the third year in a row, the Inlander is screening this beloved Christmas comedy with all proceeds benefiting Catholic Charities of Spokane’s Fatherhood Project. The evening also includes raffles, free Brain Freeze ice cream samples, and a photo booth, so practice smiling, because smiling is your favorite. Don’t be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins; come enjoy this Christmas favorite with family and friends. — MAKAYLA WAMBOLDT

It might seem a little crazy to start up a live variety show, but that’s what Ryan Tucker is doing. Considering he’s the guy who made high art out of recreating episodes of Seinfeld and Friends, the Spokane-based musician/filmmaker/television host/comedian is likely to pull it off. The debut episode of Beat City USA, which Tucker (hosting as Ryan Dean) plans to film and eventually pitch to local TV, features comedian Tom Meisfjord, sketch comedy from the Ditch Kids, an interview with artist Kiefer Jones and in-house music from the Beat City Downtowners. — MIKE BOOKEY

FILM COMEDY CHRISTMAS RIFFS

While we eagerly await next year’s reboot of Mystery Science Theater 3000, join three vets of that show for RiffTrax, during which the show’s original trio of Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett and Mike Nelson specialize in hilarious barbs aimed at the incompetent filmmakers and actors on screen. This time it’s a holiday non-classic, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. Suffice to say, the less you know about the plot the better, but it involves a pig, a sweltering man in a gorilla suit, soiled Santa costumes and, most important, two hours of laughs. — DAN NAILEN

Season of Need Don’t forget those organizations helping local families make ends meet

RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny • Mon, Dec. 14, at 7:30 pm, at Regal Cinemas Riverstone 14 (CdA); also Tue, Dec. 15, at 7:30 pm, at Regal Cinemas NorthTown • $13 • fathomevents.com

VISUAL ARTS PRETTY PRINTS

Two great things about art prints: 1) they’re one of the most affordable art mediums if you’re on a budget, and 2) printmaking techniques are incredibly diverse, and the methods that go into making a print stretch far beyond what many non-artists think defines the process. These statements are part of the mission of the latest gallery show coming to the walls of the Garland District’s Spokane Art School, in a group show curated by former Spokane artist Scott Kolbo. He writes in the exhibit statement: “The use of ‘printrelated’ tools and states of mind are an integral part of so much work being made today.” — CHEY SCOTT Print Related • Dec. 4-Jan. 15; opening reception Fri, Dec. 4, from 5-8 pm • Free to view • Spokane Art School • 809 W. Garland • spokaneartschool. net • 325-3001

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

THE PAN ASIAN EXPERIENCE The JACC’s annual fundraiser is themed around Asian culture and cuisine, with a dinner, drinks, live entertainment and silent/live auctions. Dec. 10, 6 pm. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. (208-457-8950) TREE OF SHARING The 33rd annual program collects and distributes requested items to regional nonprofits and social service agencies serving low-income, disabled and elderly members of the community. Pick up a tag and drop off items by Sunday, Dec. 13. Tags available at NorthTown, River Park Square and Spokane Valley malls. treeofsharing.org (808-4919) FESTIVAL OF TREES The Fry Healthcare Foundation hosts the 20th annual

event, benefiting the Boundary Community Hospital. Dec. 12, 5-10 pm. $35/ person. Bonners Ferry, Idaho, North Idaho. fryhealthcarefoundation.org CHEERS TO CHARITY CHRISTMAS SING-A-LONG All sales during the event are donated to December’s charitable cause, the Kiwanis Christmas dinner baskets and People’s Pantry. Dec. 13, 12-7 pm. Republic Brewing Co., 26 N. Clark Ave. republicbrew.com (509-775-2700) WHITE CHRISTMAS BENEFIT PERFORMANCE Ticket sales and auction proceeds directly serve families housed at Hearth Homes in Spokane Valley. Doors open at 6 pm; show starts at 7:30. Wine and hors d’oeuvres included. Dec. 16, 6-10 pm. $45. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. hearth-homes.org/events (926-6492)

WHAT THEY DO: Hearth Homes provides transformative, transitional housing to homeless women and their children in Spokane Valley, WA. Hearth Homes serves single mothers experiencing homelessness and ready for a change from the detrimental cycles in their lives. Hearth Homes offers a safe, communal home and services emphasizing engagement, community, and self-reflection. Weekly classes focus on strengthening crucial skills such as parenting, nutrition, coping with stress and healing from trauma. Hearth Homes’ staff empower mothers to access resources to accomplish goals such as completing their recovery treatment, G.E.D., enrolling in job training courses, or obtaining employment.

HOW YOU CAN HELP: $50 Feeds a family for an entire month $100 Supplies a mother and children with urgent essentials (food, bedding, toiletries, etc.) $150 Transitions a mother and children from Hearth Homes into permanent housing $210 Houses a mother and child for an entire month at Hearth Homes $2500 Houses a family for an entire YEAR

Your resource for holiday giving Visit the Non-Proﬁt Guide

Inlander.com/Give

Alzheimer’s Association-Inland NW Chapter American Red Cross-Spokane Because There Is Hope ‘Faye’s House’ Beyond Pink Big Brothers & Big Sisters of the INW Big Table Birthright of Coeur d’Alene Boys and Girls Club of Spokane Camp Fire USA Inland NW Council Cancer Care NW Catholic Charities Center For Justice Christ Clinic Community Cancer Fund Community Colleges Of Spokane Community Health Association Of Spokane C.O.P.S. Cutter Theatre Daybreak Youth Services Dishman Hills Conservancy East Central Community Center EWU Get Lit! Excelsior Youth Center First Tee of the Inland NW Friends of Manito Friends of the Centennial Trail Goodwill Graceson Housing Fdt. Greater Spokane Substance Abuse Council Guild School, The Habitat for Humanity Hearth Homes Hospice Of Spokane Hutton Settlement Inland NW Blood Center - INBC Inland NW Land Conservatory Krista Foundation for Global Citizenship Land Council Lutheran Community Services NW Mid City Concerns Mobius Kids Mobius Science Center Morning Star Foundation Multiple Sclerosis Soc. National Alliance on Mental Illness New Hope Recourse Center North Idaho College Foundation NW Autism Partnering for Progress Planned Parenthood Project Beauty Share Providence Sacred Heart Hospital Ronald McDonald House S.C.O.P.E. Salvation Army Second Harvest Food Bank Selkirk Conservation Alliance Spokane Arts Fund Spokane Civic Theatre SCRAPS Spokane Entertainers Guild Spokane Hope School Spokane Housing Ventures Spokane Lilac Festival Spokane Humane Society Spokane Neighborhood Action Partners (SNAP) Spokane Symphony Spokane Youth Symphony St. Joseph Family Center Susan G. Komen For the Cure Eastern WA Teen Closet Transitions U District Foundation Union Gospel Mission Volunteers of America WA Basset Rescue Wishing Star Women Helping Women Fund Women’s & Children’s Free Restaurant YFA Connections YMCA Young Life

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 65

W I SAW U YOU

RS RS

CHEERS JEERS

I SAW YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OF WALMART? At the Shadle Walmart on Dec. 1 @11:50 am, I was getting some more Christmas presents and you were there with your mom getting a phone. You smiled your beautiful smile at me and I told you how beautiful your baby was, which was a dog. I dig your chic style, your lip piercings, your fashionable boots, but most of all that amazing smile. Thanks for sharing it with me. THE DOUBLE B AT ATTICUS (BEAUTIFUL BARISTA) I saw you Sunday at Atticus coffee. I ordered a latte and It was amazing. You: cute brunette with plugs and tattoos, you're uplifting voice is in a world of its own. Beautiful and slightly mysterious... — BW HOMEWORK AT STARBUCKS ON BLACK FRIDAY On black Friday, most people are out fighting over all the deals; while you, the pretty Asian girl, is sitting at Starbucks on Evergreen doing homework. I asked you what you were studying, and you told me Anatomy and Physiology. I then asked you what field you were hoping to go into, and you answered medical/nursing, and I replied with something cheesy like "you'll be the prettiest nurse out there saving lives". Anyway it so happens that I am a Biology Major. If you need ever need a tutor, or just some company email me at sciencenerd1989@gmail.com. TRADER JOE'S Saw you today at Trader Joe's. We smiled at each other and you

kind of laughed when I grabbed the chocolate covered blueberries. You had on a San Diego shirt and I had on a hat with something on it. If your single (saw no ring) and would like to share some chat and a latte, respond with what was on the hat, also what was on my left arm. If not, thanks for the gorgeous smile, took me back to So. Cal. many years ago. HOUSE FIRE: RUINED TOYS FOR 3 YR OLD You came into the North Division White Elephant on Thursday, Dec. 3, wanting to return two toys you had bought for your child's birthday. The toys were ruined in the fire and you didn't want to give them to your child due to the damage and asbestos. You were not able to replace them so ended up leaving them on the counter and walked away with nothing to give your 3 yr old. We would love to be able to help your family in your time of need. Please contact me and we will try to make your holidays brighter. Email me at esmayd@ hotmail.com DOG OWNER I saw you and your German Shepherd (one blue eye) at the Spokanimal dog park Saturday Dec 5. Your dog bit my miniature schnauzer. You left the park and I have none of your information. Turns out my dog's neck had a large gash to which we had to go to the vet for. I need to find out if your dog is vaccinated. Please e-mail me. Cassidy.lynno@gmail.com VALLEY TARGET you were in line ahead of me and my grand daughter saw your bouncy balls and kept trying to grab them. you paid for your items then reached into your cart and grabbed one of the balls and handed it to her and said merry christmas!! I thought you were really cute and would like to get to know you over a cup of coffee!! you can email me at leotheairhead13@gmail.com. I really look forward to coffee with you!!

CHEERS TO CARISSA WHO KEPT US WARM Carissa (spelling) Thank you so much for coming to my 1 year old son and mines rescue this morning. Getting hit by another car us very stressful and was for both me and my son, and to have a nice person just show up and offer her warm car while the police took their reports and medics checked us out

was exemplary. Thank you again for all of your help. We are eternally grateful. Shannon & Dylan KUPP O' CHEER Our wholehearted support to Cooper Kupp for deciding to stay at Eastern. Offensive MVP is indeed an understatement. My husband (a veteran) and I (a National Merit Scholar) both had

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66 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

JEERS LOCAL SPORTS COVERAGE Not everyone in this town is a Cougar fan! I see this mysterious " W" all over town, on cars and clothing! This is Washington State

your information, it is illegal for bikes to use sidewalks. That's the reason why I'm in the road. I'm not in the road trying to piss you off. I'm in the road riding to ride my bike the legal way. Last time I checked sidewalks are for walking, not biking. CHRISTMAS GIFT THIEF To the lowlife

To the lowlife scumbag who stole the package off my front porch: That package was addressed to me, not you. — CHRISTMAS GIFT THIEF

to work while we were earning our BAE degrees. During your last year at our alma mater, please pick up a philosophy course (does the being you've created in your own image really care about football's contribution to humanity?) Also, go back to remedial English and master the fundamentals of pronoun case. CHEERS TO THE GUY WHO BOUGHT MY GROCERIES Having less money in my ebt account than I had thought, I was definitely embarrassed when I couldn't afford all my food at the grocery store. While I was outside checking my balance, you covered almost all my groceries. Thank you so much! It was such a selfless act, and it has truly inspired me. Your act of kindness is more than appreciated, it is admired. You've reassured me that everything really does happen for a reason, and that there is hope for love in a society so cold. Merry Christmas OSBORN DENTURE CLINIC I went to this clinic to get a new denture on top and put new teeth on a bottom implant plate and so glad I did. Ben Osborn had never done this before yet he took on the challenge gladly. He is so understanding, great listener and so very respectful plus he's fun. got the top denture today and my smile is now complete. I promise you if you need dentures made or fixed this office is the place to go. Oh, the staff is so nice also. Ben, you are a pedigree individual and U and your family have the

SOUND OFF 1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3. Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

#wtbevents

best Xmas/New Year ever. Thank You JC

and I happen to be a Husky fan like many others. Come on ladies and gentlemen, you always show the Cougs on the news (the whole entire show) when they win, put when they lose you pretend it didn't happen. How about you show the game highlights for every fan. Not just stupid Coug fans. In Seattle newspapers and tv news programs have coverage of all Washington teams! Btw 70-32-6. Go Dawgs! RE: WINDSTORM FAILURE Clearly you wrote out of frustration and lack of knowledge. Warming centers and shelters were open all over the area. Salvation Army, Catholic Charities, and the American Red Cross ALL had shelters up. Spokane (2), Cheney, Coeur D'Alene, and Pullman had family friendly shelters available 24 hrs a day when the need was clear. All staffed and prepared to help ANYONE effected by the storm. Paramedics even staffed some locations 24 hrs a day in case there was a need. Before you go on a finger pointing rant, get your facts straight. It will help you from sounding like an idiot.

”

scumbag who stole the package off my front porch: That package was addressed to me, not you. You committed a federal offense. One day you will ask yourself why your life isn't going so great — just know that it is the universe righting the wrongs you have done: Karma. That was a gift for someone who deserved it, not a piece of s**t like you. You will get yours. A WEAK GOD? You claim your God exists and is the greatest and most powerful force in the universe. If so, then why are you reduced to doing his dirty work for him? If your God is so offended by the words or deeds of these infidels why does he not destroy them himself, in a manner that defies all laws of physics and science, a manner that could only be interpreted as supernatural? You're not helping to make the case for your God. You are behaving in a manner a people would who had no God at all. 

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS

SPOKANE BIKE WARS OF 2015 As a person in Spokane whose only mode of self-transportation is a bike when one of the tires isn't flat, you have to understand how annoying it is when I get birds and angry horns all the time. What dafuq am I doing so wrong that you're pissed? For

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

EVENTS | CALENDAR BLESSINGS UNDER THE BRIDGE WINTER EVENT The local nonprofit hosts an event to serve its clients in the community’s homeless population, offering a free hot brunch, hot drinks, holiday treats, distributions of winter clothing, blankets and gifts. Dec. 19, 12-3 pm. At Fourth Avenue and McClellan Street. See Facebook for a list of needed donations and for information on how to sponsor a table at the event: facebook.com/BlessingsUTB.

COMEDY

GUFFAW YOURSELF Open mic comedy night; every other Thursday at 10 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. (509-847-1234) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com BEAT CITY USA VARIETY SHOW A variety show featuring comedian Tom Meisfjord, artist Kiefer Jones, improv troupe The Ditch Kids, and musical guests. Hosted by Ryan Dean and the Beat City Downtowners. Dec. 11, 7:30 pm. $5. Big Dipper, 171 S. Washington. on.fb.me/1Nf2p5e SEASON’S GREETINGS A holiday greeting card-themed improv show. Fridays in December, at 8 pm (no show Dec. 25). $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) STAND-UP COMEDY Live comedy featuring established and up-and-coming local comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. No cover. Red Dragon Chinese, 1406 W. Third. reddragondelivery.com (838-6688) NUTHOUSE IMPROV COMEDY: WSU’s student comedy improv group performs. Upcoming shows: Dec. 12, 11 pm. $5. Wadleigh Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman. performingarts.wsu.edu SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. (Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Mondays; sign-up at 9:30 pm, show at 10 pm. Ages 21+. No cover. The Foxhole, 829 E. Boone. facebook.com/thefoxholespokane (315-5327) TRIVIA + OPEN MIC COMEDY Trivia starts at 8 pm; stick around for open mic comedy afterward. Tuesdays, from 8-10 pm. Free. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague. checkerboardbar.com (535-4007)

COMMUNITY

CHRISTMAS TREE ELEGANCE Spokane Symphony Associates’ annual holidaythemed fundraiser features 18 decorated trees on display to be raffled off (tickets are $1 each). See 12 trees at the Davenport Hotel mezzanine and six trees on the second floor of River Park Square, through Dec. 13. Free to view. spokanesymphony.org GSI LEGISLATIVE FORUM & RECEPTION Meet with local legislators and hear about issues including funding K-12 education, business climate issues, and what we can expect from this spring’s regular session. Forum from 3-5 pm, reception 5:15-7 pm. Dec. 10. $50-$80. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post St. (321-3630) HOMEWORK HELP WITH THE ZAGS Need help with your writing homework, or homework in general? Stop by Spark Center from 3:30-5:30 pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays to get guidance from Gonzaga students. Program runs through Dec. 17. Free. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Parkway. sparkwestcentral.org

JOURNEY TO THE NORTH POLE Daily, 40-minute evening cruises on Lake Coeur d’Alene offer views of the CdA Resort’s annual Holiday Lights Show, and includes a visit to Santa’s Workshop. Through Jan. 3, departing nightly at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 pm. $6/ages 6-12; free/ages 5 and under; $19.75/seniors (55+); $20.75/ adults. The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdacruises.com (208-765-4000) SANTA & HIS REINDEER Live reindeer are on site daily through Dec. 23, and Santa visits on Saturdays, Dec. 12 and 19, from 10 am-4 pm. Ritter’s Garden & Gift, 10120 N. Division St. (467-5258) SANTA EXPRESS The 22nd annual holiday store offers items at allowancefriendly prices (50 cents to $8) for area children (ages 4 to 12) to purchase for their friends and family, with proceeds supporting the mission of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Through Dec. 23. Mon-Fri, 11 am-8 pm; Sat, 10 am-8 pm; Sun, 11 am-6 pm. At 707 W. Main (skywalk level). vanessabehan.org CENTER FOR JUSTICE WINTER PARTY The CFJ invites all to a celebration of community, supporters and the work done in 2015. Includes food, wine and entertainment. Dec. 11, 4-7 pm. Free and open to the public. Community Building, 35 W. Main. on.fb.me/1MXUdQC COMMUNITY MEMORIAL TREE Hospice of Spokane displays its annual Memorial Tree to remember loved ones. Families and friends are invited to purchase doves to honor the memories of loved ones this holiday season. Proceeds benefit Hospice; donations are not required. Dec. 1123. River Park Square, 808 W. Main Ave. hospiceofspokane.org (624-3945) GAISER CONSERVATORY HOLIDAY LIGHTS The annual display features the greenhouse plants decked out in strings of holiday lights, hosted by the Friends of Manito. Dec. 11-20, open daily from 12-7:30 pm. Best viewing after 4 pm. Donations accepted. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org WINTER ENCAMPMENT A modern interpretation of traditional winter lodging, food and activities. A lighting shows also features tribal music, more than 15 teepees and 50 animals. Dec. 11-Jan. 2, Fri-Sat, from 7-9 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com BREAKFAST WITH SANTA Activities in addition to breakfast include face painting, family photos with Santa and the reading of the Christmas story. Reservations required. Dec. 12, 9 am. $5/adults; $4/kids 12 and under. First Church of Nazarene, 9004 N. Country Homes Blvd. (467-8986) CONTRA DANCE Spokane Folklore Society’s Christmas contra dance, with Dog Paw playing and caller Penn Fix. Bring an ornament for the Christmas tree and contribute a potluck dish. Dec. 12, 7-10 pm. $7-$10. East Spokane Grange, 1621 N. Park Rd. spokanefolklore.org (747-2640) HILLYARD NORTH POLE A community celebration featuring a coloring contest, food, games, a bake sale and photos with Santa (pets welcome). Dec. 12-13, from 9 am-5 pm. 5006 N. Market, Hillyard. KIDS DAY DOWNTOWN: FROZEN FEST Afternoon events kick off by singing along with Frozen at 1:30, followed by activities including crafts and an opportunity to take your picture with Elsa and Olaf. Come dressed as your favorite Frozen character. Dec. 12, 1:30-4 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane Library, 906 W. Main. spokanelibrary.org TEDDY BEAR TEA The library branches

across Spokane host their annual Teddy Bear Tea, a storytime celebration of the American childhood icon. For other branch events, visit spokanelibrary.org. Dec. 12, 10:30 am. Free. Indian Trail Library, 4909 W. Barnes Rd. (444-5331) VERY MERRY PERRY The South Perry Neighborhood and Business Association hosts the second annual holiday celebration for families and friends to gather and experience the businesses on South Perry. Each participating business hosts a holiday-inspired event throughout the afternoon or evening. Dec. 12. Free. South Perry Business District. on.fb.me/1PoYALp WINTER MARKET The annual market features 30+ local artisans and vendors; hosted by Heart of the Arts, Inc. Dec. 12, from 10 am-2 pm. 1912 Center, 412 E. Third St. 1912center.org (208-669-2249) GRAND CHANUKAH MENORAH LIGHTING The annual public Menorah lighting at the includes a special fire show, hot coffee and live music by the Spokane Klezmer band. All are welcome. Dec. 13, 4:30-5:30 pm. Free, donations accepted. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard. Jewishspokane.com (443-0770) PET-FRIENDLY SANTA PHOTOS Santa takes a break from his pre-Christmas stress overload to show off his elfin-built sleigh and pose for photos with pets and kids. Dec. 7-9, 14, 16-17 and 21-22 (times vary). $5-$10. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th. (535-0803) HAYDEN CHRISTMAS LIGHT SHOW A Christmas light walk through a neighborhood with heavily decorated homes, with hot chocolate, carolers, Santa photos, a live nativity and more. Dec. 16-20, from 6-8 pm nightly. Park at Candlelight Christian Fellowship, 5725 N. Pioneer Dr., CdA. Shuttles take visitors to the site every 15 min. Free. on.fb.me/1OTIdWV HOLIDAY STORIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD Bring your little ones in their favorite pajamas for a night of holiday stories from all around the world from various faiths. Register online. Dec. 16, 5:30-6:30 pm. Free. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Parkway. sparkwestcentral.org SPOKANE FOLKLORE CONTRA DANCE The weekly Wednesday night dance, with Arvid Lundin and Deep Roots playing and caller Nora Scott. No experience needed, everyone is welcome. Beginner workshop at 7:15 pm. Dec. 16, 7:30-9:30 pm. $5-$7. Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. spokanefolklore.org CAMPBELL HOUSE HOLIDAYS The historic mansion is decorated for Christmas and open for visitors to explore at their own pace (no formal tours). Also includes an activity, craft and four living history interpreters on site. Dec. 19-20, 23-24, 2627, 30-31 and Jan. 1-2, from 12-4 pm (until 3 pm on Dec. 24). $5-$10 admission. The MAC, 2316 W. First. (456-3931)

FILM

ELF The Inlander teams up with Catholic Charities Spokane for an annual screening of this modern holiday classic, with raffles, a photo booth and more. Proceeds support the work of CCS. Doors open at 5:30 pm. Dec. 10, 7 pm. $5. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) HE NAMED ME MALALA An intimate portrait of Malala Yousafzai, who was targeted for speaking out on behalf of girls’ education in her region. Rated PG 13. Dec. 10-13, show times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org

BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FESTIVAL The 10th annual event includes screenings of the best-loved films starring Spokane’s own Bing Crosby, along with a gallery of photos of the famous entertainer and a special live musical performance by Howard Crosby, son of Bing Crosby’s brother Ted. See poster/website for schedule and details. Dec. 12, 11 am. $10. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbyadvocates.org HALF BAKED Entry fee is a toy or donation for Brando’s Toy Drive. Also includes a free raffle for handblown glass from local glassblowers. Ages 18+. Dec. 12, 8 pm. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. on.fb.me/1XZzm5w (509-327-1050) DOWNTON ABBEY FINAL SEASON PREMEIRE Join the celebration of the last season of PBS’s “Downton Abbey,” and get a sneak-peek at the first hour, two weeks before it airs in the U.S. Suggested $15 donation; tickets required. Also includes a costume contest and trivia. Dec. 13, 2 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. ksps.org (227-7404) RIFFTRAX LIVE: SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY The former stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Mike Nelson, Bill “Crow” Corbett and Kevin “Tom Servo” Murphy, aim their trademark funny commentary at this long-lost holiday film. Dec. 14-15, at Regal Cinemas Riverstone (CdA) and Dec. Dec. 15 Regal Cinemas Northtown. fathomevents.com INTERNATIONAL FILM SERIES: WILD TALES “Relatos Salvajes” or Wild Tales is a black comedy film divided in six segments. Rated: R. Dec. 15, 7-10 pm. $5. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org TOTALLY TUBULAR TUESDAY HOLIDAY EDITION The Garland hosts screenings of holiday classics during the “Totally Tubular Tuesday” special. Dec. 15, The Polar Express; Dec. 22, Elf. All shows at 7 pm; $2.50 tickets. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. (327-1050)

FOOD & DRINK

TASTEFUL THURSDAYS Weekly events feature live music and seasonal product samples from local and regional producers. Thursdays, from 5-7 pm, through Dec. 18. Free. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. 5th St. (208-882-8537) CHAMPAGNE & CHOCOLATE An evening of tasting champagne and chocolates, also featuring local musician Robby French. Dec. 11, 6-8 pm. Studio 107, 120 N. Fourth, CdA. (208-664-1201) LANTERN TAP HOUSE UGLY SWEATER WEEKEND The Lantern’s third annual ugly holiday sweater party, with beer specials, live music and food. Details TBA. Dec. 11-12. Lantern Tap House, 1004 S. Perry. on.fb.me/1Oi3SVJ (315-9531) VINO WINE TASTING Friday, Dec. 11 showcases selections from Two Mountains Winery, from 3-6:30 pm. Sat, Dec. 12 highlights wines that are best in their class, from 2-4:30 pm. Vino, 222 S. Washington St. vinowine.com (838-1229) SPOKANE SANTACON The 4th annual worldwide pub crawl is locally raising money for the Tamarack Residential Treatment Center. Event starts at the Checkerboard at 3 pm, continuing to downtown bars through the night. Dec. 12, 3-10 pm. Free, donations accepted. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague. on.fb.me/1LiUbSg AN EVENING OF FOODIE DELIGHT A locally-sourced, five-course meal fea-

turing local libations (beer and wine), Roast House coffee tasting, live music, giveaways, festive fun and opportunity for discussions with local farmers and sustainable food activists. Mont Lamm Events, 7501 Enoch Rd., Clayton. Dec. 13, 4-8 pm. $45/person. (509-276-7636) GINGERBREAD BUILD-OFF Christ Kitchen’s annual holiday fundraiser, with teams of bakers and architects competing to build a massive gingerbread house that takes the top prize, as voted on by the public. Decorate your own house for $7. Free to watch the competition underway and to vote for your favorite. Dec. 13, 10 am-4 pm. Davenport Grand Hotel, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. ccckministry.org THE HISTORY OF YUM Food historian and educator Monica Stenzel teaches a three-session class about chocolate, coffee and gingerbread. Dec. 13, from 2-3:30 pm. $31.50-$35. The MAC, 2316 W. First. (456-3931) WINTER JUBILEE BEER DINNER A fivecourse beer dinner with Perry Street Brewing. Includes a behind-the-scenes tour and tasting at the brewery, followed by a dinner of Southern fare inspired by the beers and centered around the smoking of a suckling pig. Reservations requested. Dec. 14, 6 pm. $65/ person. Casper Fry, 928 S. Perry. on.fb. me/1Tz3G5N (535-0536) FRENCH SAUCES 101 Chef Jean-Pierre teaches the secret to fabulous sauces. Once you understand the basics of the five mother sauces, it’s easy to make every meal special. Dec. 15, 6-8 pm. $40. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Gov’t Way. gourmetwayhayden.com RAT PACK DINNER SHOW Dinner begins at 6 pm with the show at 7 pm. Dec. 17, 6 pm. $40. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com 1ST ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL MARMOT BEER FESTIVAL River City hosts a fest to celebrate its Midnight Marmot Stout, offering pours of 10 variations of the stout (complete list on Facebook event), a commemorative glass, growler fill specials and more. Dec. 19, 12-8 pm. $25-$30. River City Brewing, 121 S. Cedar St. on.fb.me/1I2ob4H CHEF CHAD WHITE WELCOME HOME DINNER Chef Jeremy Hansen of Sante and Chef Chad White, who is returning home to Spokane to open a restaurant next year, prepare a seven-course dinner with wine pairings. Reservations required. Dec. 20, 6 pm. $160/person. Santé Restaurant & Charcuterie, 404 W. Main. SanteSpokane.com (315-4613)

MUSIC MUSIC IN HISTORIC HOMES The 24th annual concert series features a holiday program, tours of the home and refreshments. Dec. 9-10, at 3, 5 and 7 pm, in the Matthews-Woldson House, at 526 W. Sumner. $25/person. spokanehistoricconcerts.org CLARITY & JOY Friday Musical’s Holiday Celebration features the highly trained voices of two area youth choirs: North Central High’s Chanson Nouvelle and Crescendo’s Concert Choir. Dec. 11, 1-2:30 pm. Free. St. Stephen’s Episcopal, 5720 S. Perry St. (448-2255) COLOR THE SEASON BRIGHT An evening of music sung by the youthful voices of Spokane’s Crescendo Community Chorus. Dec. 11, 7 pm. $5/person or $20/ family. St. Stephen’s Episcopal, 5720 S. Perry. crescendocommunitychorus.org

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 67

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess GoinG Scold Turkey

I have a bad temper, and I’m trying to change. Now when I’m mad, I leave the room to compose myself. Recently, my boyfriend said something that really upset me. Taking a break allowed me to calmly explain that he’d hurt my feelings. He apologized, and I could tell he truly felt bad — much worse than if I had raged on him. Can you explain this? —Formerly Volcanic

AMY ALKON

It’s really smart to “take 10” when you’re angry — and not just because it takes that long to get the gasoline, pour it all over your boyfriend’s Xbox, and light it on fire. As I explained recently, screaming at a guy — a verbal attack — launches the same fight-or-flight defense system as trying to use the guy’s face as a bar rag. And once a person’s adrenaline gets let out of the gate, there’s no coaxing it back. That’s why “Braveheart” would be a Monty Python movie if the Scots, upon doing their battle cry, stopped, looked at one another, and then called to the English: “Say, luvvies…on second thought…shall we all put down these silly battle-axes, wash our faces, and chat out our differences o’er a cup o’ tea?” As for why your emotional makeover led your boyfriend to go more Mother Teresa than angry motherfucker, social psychologist C. Daniel Batson explains that we have two distinct emotional responses to perceiving another person in need. The first, “personal distress,” leads us to have an “egoistic” motivation— to focus on ourselves and how we can escape our own uncomfortable feelings. The other response is empathy — or really, “empathic concern,” which leads to an altruistic motivation: wanting to comfort the other person. You’re more likely to elicit the empathic response when your boyfriend doesn’t need to mount a defense — that is, when you approach him with quiet hurt and disappointment instead of like a hornet with boobs and a purse. Kudos to you for recognizing that having a feeling isn’t reason to hop on it and ride it like a hoverboard. But in light of how gnarly-hard impulse control can be, what’s most impressive are your adult timeouts — putting space between having a feeling and acting on it. It is good for your boyfriend to believe he can always count on you — but not to explode and take his hand off like black-market fireworks you bought with the possum jerky out of the trunk of some guy’s car.

PArAdiSe BoSSed

I have noticed something odd in my relationship: The less demanding I am the more my boyfriend does what I want. Are guys so defiant, like little boys, that if you tell them what to do, they won’t do it? Curiously, if, after saying what I want, I add “but do what you want,” he usually does the thing I was hoping for. I don’t get it. —Puzzled “Hey, baby, let’s role-play. I’ll be Stalin, and you be the tens of millions of peasants he sent to labor camps!” Pick one — having a relationship or ruling the world’s tiniest totalitarian state. There are ways to get a man to do your bidding, and barking orders at him is among the least successful. (This is not the kind of doggy-style a man is hoping for.) Social psychologist Jack Brehm’s research on what he deemed “psychological reactance” finds what anybody with a 2-year-old knows all too well: The more you try to pressure somebody to do something the more they will “react” — that is, resist being controlled. You can use what you’ve discovered to stealth-control a guy — trick him into bending to your will by being all “I dunno…do what you want…” However, what’s better is not needing to control him. You can get to that point by being consistently giving. This tends to cue our psychological mechanism for reciprocity — our internal accounting system that keeps track of gifts and favors we’ve received and bugs us when we’re in the red (kind of like a bill collector who demon-calls our conscience instead of our phone). And, sure, this reciprocity thing can also be used to pull a guy’s strings. But, especially over time, we seem able to sniff out people’s motives. So see that you’re giving out of love rather than out of a desire to, uh, nanomanage (because micromanagement is for slackers). When generosity of spirit is what’s driving you, you’re likely to inspire the guy to give back — wanting to make you happy, as opposed to wanting to get your “honey-dos” out of the way so he can tie up two guards and tunnel out of the relationship with a sharpened toothbrush. n ©2015, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

68 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR UI JAZZ HOLIDAY CONCERT A program featuring musical selections from around the world encompassing a variety of holiday traditions, performed by the UI Jazz Choirs, along with 500 local students. Dec. 11, 7 pm. Donations accepted. Kibbie Activity Center, 1000 Stadium Dr, Moscow. (208-885-6394) PAGES OF HARMONY CHRISTMAS CABARET An evening of holidaythemed entertainment with dinner and a raffle. Dec. 12, 6 pm. $10-$18. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org (443-1503) SING ALONG WITH MUDGY, MILLIE AND SANTA Children’s author Susan Nipp, creator of the “Mudgy & Millie” book, leads the children in singing some holiday favorites. Mudgy Moose, Millie Mouse and Santa all are available for informal photos. Dec. 12, 11 am. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. (208-769-2315) SOUNDS OF CHRISTMAS Start the holidays and join the NIC music groups in their annual Christmas celebration. Dec. 12 at 7:30 pm and Dec. 13 at 2 pm. Free and open to the public. North Idaho College, 1000 W. Garden. (208-769-3275) SPIRIT OF SPOKANE HOLIDAY CELEBRATION A concert featuring performances from the quartets Pepper, Amore, Make it a Double, WishCraft, Diamond Girlz and The Elliots. Also includes a raffle and holiday bake sale. Dec. 12, 2 pm. $5. Opportunity Presbyterian Church, 202 N. Pines. (922-4570) TUBACHRISTMAS A performance featuring traditional Christmas carols especially arranged for tuba-euphonium choir. Tuba and euphonium players of all ages are welcome; registration and rehearsal at 9:30 am with a free concert at 1:30 pm. Dec. 12, 1:30-2:30 pm. Free. Spokane Transit Plaza, 701 W. Riverside. facebook.com/TubaChristmas1 WASHINGTON IDAHO SYMPHONY The “Family Christmas with the MidColumbia Singers” concert program includes a family carol singalong. Dec. 12, 7:30 pm. $15-$25. Jones Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman Campus. performingarts.wsu.edu (335-8522) WHITWORTH CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL Presented by 120+ student performers, including members of the Whitworth Choir, the Women’s Choir, the Men’s Chorus and the Chamber Singers, as well as student instrumentalists and student narrators. Dec. 12 at 8 pm, Dec. 13 at 3 pm. $15-$20. The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH JOHN TESH The Emmy award-winning pianist/composer puts a “big band” twist on Christmas favorites. Dec. 13, 7:30 pm. $45-$65. Northern Quest, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com HOLIDAY ON PIPES The Spokane Chapter of the American Theatre Organ Society presents its 15th annual Christmas concert, featuring organist Ken Fuller and favorite holiday songs. Dec. 13, 6 pm. Free, donations accepted. First Church of Nazarene, 9004 N. Country Homes Blvd. (467-8986) A CIVIC CHRISTMAS FEAT. CLARION BRASS A benefit concert featuring the world-renowned brass choir performing old and new holiday favorites in a program titled “Hallelujah for Everything.” Dec. 14, 7:30 pm. $15. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com (325-2507) CLARION BRASS The annual holiday

concert featuring the local brass ensemble’s original arrangements of favorite holiday songs. Dec. 15, 7:30 pm. $15-$20. St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 12th Ave. (838-4277) A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS Contemporary jazz and holiday favorites, also featuring Rick Braun and Mindi Abair. Dec. 15, 7:30 pm. $45-$57. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404) SAYC HOLIDAY CONCERT Enjoy holiday favorites new and old, presented by the young singers of the Spokane Area Youth Choirs in a concert titled “Stories of Light.” Dec. 15, 6-7 pm. $5-$8. Westminster United Church of Christ, 411 S. Washington. (624-7992) CLARION BRASS (CDA) The annual holiday concert featuring the local brass ensemble’s original arrangements of favorite holiday songs. Dec. 16, 7:30 pm. $20. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. kroccda.org

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

SPOKANE ANARCHY WRESTLING SAW’s last show of 2015. Doors open at 6:30 pm, bell at 7. Also includes a clothing/coat/blanket drive for those less fortunate. All donations welcome. Dec. 11, 6:30 pm. Free. Swaxx, 25 E. Lincoln Rd. on.fb.me/1lemBHL (703-7474) COLLEGE DEAL DAYS Area college students who show their ID can get super-discounted lift tickets during winter break, Dec. 12-13. $19 ticket with valid ID. Silver Mountain Ski Resort, 610 Bunker Ave. (208-783-1111) FAMILY CROSS-COUNTRY WEEKEND Test out the cross-country trails with kids (under age 18) getting a free trail pass and equipment rental when accompanied by a parent/guardian. Dec. 12-13. 49 Degrees North, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd. ski49n.com (935-6649) REINDEER RUN 5K A Christmasthemed run through downtown CdA, with special holiday ornaments given to all pre-registered runners. Dec. 12, 8 am. $22. McEuen Park, 420 E. Front. on.fb.me/1Mqlmyn SNOWSHOEING FOR FUN & FITNESS Learn about this fun winter activity including different types of snowshoes and appropriate clothing. Dec. 12, 2-3:30 pm. Free. Indian Trail Library, 4909 W. Barnes Rd. (444-5331) SPOKANE CHIEFS Regular season match vs. the Tri-City Americans. Dec. 12, 7:05 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. (279-7000) WOMEN’S SNOWSHOE DAY The mountain offers two-for-one trail passes and snowshoe rentals; bring a friend or meet one in the parking lot. Dec. 12. 49 Degrees North, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd. (509-935-6649) SPOKANE CHIEFS Regular season hockey match vs. Everett. Dec. 16, 7:05 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. spokanearena.com (279-7000)

THEATER

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Idaho Repertory Theatre and UI Theatre Arts present the Charles Dickens story, adapted by Ann Hoste and directed by David Lee-Painter. Through Dec. 13, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm (no show Dec. 11). $5-$15; free/UI students. U. of Idaho Hartung Theater, 6th & Stadium Way.

bit.ly/1NeLYWL (208-885-6465) A CHRISTMAS CAROL An edgy, Steampunk-themed adaptation of the classic holiday story. Dec. 10-13, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Pullman Civic Theatre, 1220 NW Nye. (332-8406) A CHRISTMAS CAROL The award-winning Central Valley Theatre Department presents Charles Dickens’ holiday classic. Dec. 9-12 at 7 pm. $8-$12. Central Valley HS, 821 S. Sullivan. cvtheatre.com CHRISTMAS WITH FRIENDS Ellen Travolta’s annual holiday show, featuring Jack Bannon, Mark Cotter and Laura Sable and directed by Roger Welch. Nov. 27-Dec. 20, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm. $27.50. CdA Resort, 115 S. Second. cdachristmas.com EVERY CHRISTMAS STORY EVER TOLD (AND THEN SOME) Instead of performing Charles Dickens’ beloved holiday classic for the umpteenth time, three actors decide to perform every Christmas story ever told. Dec. 10-12 and Dec. 18-19, at 7 pm. $12. Liberty Lake Community Theatre, 22910 E. Appleway. (342-2055) EVHS DRAMA HOLIDAY SHOW EVHS presents a trio of short Christmas plays written by Don Zolidis. Dec. 10 at 3 pm, Dec. 11-12 at 7 pm. $5/adults; $3/seniors, kids, students. East Valley High, 15711 W. Wellesley. (924-1830) THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK CHRISTMAS MUSICAL A musical comedy set in the Armadillo Acres trailer park. Through Dec. 20, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $24-$27. Modern Theater CdA, 1320 E. Garden Ave. themoderntheater.org THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA An apocalyptic holiday tale as part of RTOP’s new play series featuring contemporary, adult-themed theatre. Dec. 9-12, at 8:30 pm. $10. Regional Theatre of the Palouse, 122 N Grand. (334-0750) TRADITIONS OF CHRISTMAS A musical journey of all the greatest Christmas songs and traditions from around the world, from a Rockette-style kickline to a live nativity. Shows on Dec. 10-12, 17-19 and Dec. 22 at 7 pm; also Dec. 1213, 19-20 and 23 at 3 pm. $20/$26/$33. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. traditionsofchristmasnw.com WHITE CHRISTMAS Based on the timeless film, this heartwarming musical adaptation tells the story of veterans Bob Wallace and Phil Davis who have a successful song-and-dance act after WWII. Through Dec. 19, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22-$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com THE WONDERFUL ADVENTURES OF DON QUIXOTE An old man who has lost his senses reading too many chivalric romances imagines himself a knight by the name of Don Quixote de la Mancha. Dec. 10-11 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 12 at 2 pm. $5-$10. Wadleigh Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman. performingarts.wsu.edu A CHRISTMAS CAROL A holiday season performance of the Dickens’ classic. Dec. 11-20, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $6-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 236 S. Union Ave., Newport. (447-9900) CHRISTMAS ON THE CONCOURSE An original musical focusing on a local airport and the passengers who end up stranded there on Christmas Eve. Dec. 11-20, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $13-$15. Ignite! Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. igniteonbroadway.org (795-0004)

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IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE RADIO PLAY Thes beloved American holiday classic comes to life as a live 1940s radio broadcast. Dec. 11 at 7 pm, Dec. 12-13 at 2 pm. $15. Sixth Street Theater, 212 Sixth St., Wallace. sixthstreetmelodrama.com MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET StageWest Community Theatre’s readers theater production based on the radio play from 1948. Dec. 4-13; Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Dinner theater ($30) only on Dec. 12, at 6 pm. $5-$12. Emmanuel Lutheran, 639 Elm St., Cheney. (235-2441) THE WIZARD OF OZ Join Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tinman, the Cowardly Lion and Toto as they travel the universe of Dorothy’s imagination. Through Dec. 20, Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $12/ adult; $8/age 12 and under. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrentheatre.org MET LIVE IN HD: THE MAGIC FLUTE The Magic Flute enchants opera lovers with its whimsical humor and breathtaking puppetry. Dec. 12 at 9:45 pm and Dec. 16 at 7 pm. $15-$20. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org ALL IS CALM Friends of the Bing and the Modern Theater host an encore performance of last year’s production, set in 1914 on the Western Front of WWI during the famous Christmas Truce. Dec. 17-19 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 20 at 2 pm. $10-$15. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404)

VISUAL ARTS

HANDMADE ORNAMENT & SMALL WORKS SHOW The SAS’ annual handmade ornament and small artworks show and sale. Through Dec. 15, open Tue-Fri from 10 am-5 pm. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. spokaneartschool.net (325-3001) JESUITS IN THE ARTS SERIES An exhibition titled “Vivid in My Mind: The Visionary and Landscape Images of Father Andrew William Vachon, S.J. alongside “Befriending Sacredness: Works by Fr. Araujo, S.J.” in the museum’s Arcade Gallery. Closes on Dec; gallery open Mon-Sat, from 10 am-4 pm. Free. Jundt Art Museum, 200 E. Desmet. gonzaga.edu/jundt JIM DINE: A LIFE IN PRINTMAKING In the spring of 2014, Jim Dine donated 206 works of art to WSU, spanning five decades of printmaking and covering the full spectrum of printmaking techniques. Closes Dec. 12; gallery open Mon-Sat, 10 am-4 pm and until 7 pm on Thurs. Free and open to the public. Museum of Art/WSU, Wilson Road, Pullman. museum.wsu.edu UI COLLEGE OF ART & ARCHITECTURE FACULTY EXHIBIT The annual faculty exhibit not only showcases the professors’ work, but also informs students, and the university and Moscow communities about the research faculty are conducting in art. Dec. 11-Jan. 15; reception Dec. 11, 5-8 pm. Gallery hours Tue-Sat, 10 am-8 pm; Sun, 10 am-6 pm. Free. Prichard Art Gallery, 414 S. Main, Moscow. (208-885-3586) DAHMEN BARN HOLIDAY OPEN HOSUE Shop at the expanded gift shop, which includes specialty food items and other handmade gifts. Kids can meet Santa on Saturday, 1-3 pm, and door prizes will be given out. Dec. 11-13, 10 am-6 pm. Free. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way. (229-3414)

NATIVE ART AUCTION The American Indian Community Center hosts its first live auction fundraiser, offering native-created art in various media by Ric Gendron, George Flett, Ben Grant, Joeseph Arnoux, Cheryl Grunlose and many more. Dec. 11, 5-8 pm. Philanthropy Center, 1020 N. Riverside Ave. on.fb.me/1RhfFq2 (535-0886) SECOND FRIDAY ARTWALK Coeur d’Alene’s monthly celebration of local art, with local galleries around downtown hosting artist receptions, live music and original art. Second Friday of the month, from 5-8 pm. Free. artsincda.org/artwalk STAN MILLER PAINTING EXHIBITION The internationally-known watercolor artist exhibits his paintings in his home, at 3138 E. 17th Ave. Dec. 11, 5-9 pm, Dec. 12, 11 am-6 pm and Dec. 13, noon-4 pm. Free. (535-5257) SYNCHRONIC STREAM Laboratory Artist-in-Residence Ilaria Ortensi’s new work explores the aesthetics of data, social media and the self. Dec. 11, 6-7:30 pm. Free. Laboratory, 301 W. Main. laboratoryspokane.com THE ART OF THE RENASSAINCE Explore some of the most influential artists and their famous works of art from the Renaissance, with College Professor and Art Historian Dr. Meredith Shimizu. Dec. 13, Feb. 21 and March 13, at 2 pm. $10 suggested donation per lecture. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. northwestmuseum.org (456-3931) LET ME SLEEP An interactive installation set in a dreamlike, enclosed, meditative space, by Paris-based, Laboratory in residence artist Dorianne Wotton. Dec. 13, 7 pm. Free. Richmond Art Collective, 228 W. Sprague, second floor. laboratoryspokane.com

WORDS

VET LIT: HOW WE REMEMBER WAR A reading from the anthology by members of Spokane Veterans for Peace. . Dec. 11, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main. auntiesbooks.com LANDSCAPES ACROSS AMERICA Public historian and writer Laurence Cotton screens his PBS documentary film “Frederick Law Olmsted: Designing America,” followed by a talk on the Olmsted brothers’ legacy. Dec. 12, 2 pm. $10 suggested donation. The MAC, 2316 W. First. (456-3931) READING: LINDY LEWIS The author reads from her book “Recovering Alpha Female, Moving Into Grace.” Dec. 12, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s 402 W. Main. (838-0206) SALISH SCHOOL REMEMBERS Students from the Salish School of Spokane read poetry about Kay O’Rourke’s series, “The River Remembers,” which is on permanent display at Spark Center. Free and open to the public. Dec. 15, 7-8:30 pm. Free. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org

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AMITY HOLT ILLUSTRATION

To My Dear Friend Ahmet What I remember of our time together BY SCOTT A. LEADINGHAM

ear Ahmet, “Where do you live? Why do you live? How do you live?” Do you remember those words, Ahmet, those sentences we would joke about? Those sentences in the English-language learners book your wife Figen would recite? We would laugh about how funny they sounded. How curious they were out of context, but how appropriate they seem now. Where do you live? Turkey. Why do you live? Why? Because you’re human, because you are who you are. How do you live? As loving people. As those who have shown me what it is to be human. As Muslims. I’ve thought long about those words, my friend, about what they mean — about whether you remember our time together. I do. I will cherish that time forever. It seems so long ago now. Less than 10 years, actually, since we sat by each other in class in our first year of graduate school. You here from Turkey with your colleagues to study government at Indiana University. Me a young, 20-something-year-old looking for, well, what was I looking for? An education? A new start? Someplace new? People who didn’t know me? Do you remember, Ahmet, our class assignments, to be paired together, to be partners in that class? Do

74 INLANDER DECEMBER 10, 2015

you remember driving to your apartment from campus to study and to — to what? — learn of each other? Do you remember the first time you told me of çorba, that delicious Turkish soup we came to talk about all the time, the only Turkish word I really recall? Do you remember the first time we studied late into the night and Figen cooked us a meal that stays with me to this day? And do you remember the Turkish coffee we sipped? I don’t even like coffee, but the Turkish coffee, so rich and dark. It’s — what is it? — magical. Do you remember? I remember. I remember the nights we studied together as Figen made feasts fit for kings and queens. I remember you breaking your Ramadan fast after sundown, us saying the brief prayer together, and you biting into your first food (or water) in more than 12 hours. I remember you taking me to your mosque, and us feasting on the communal food prepared by your Islamic community in Bloomington, me a Catholic, you Muslims, others Jews, others non-religious, all of us united by the bond of our shared humanity and curiosity regarding one another. I remember telling you about Catholics fasting during Lent, how it was similar to a Ramadan fast, yet so different — the Catholic Lenten fast being much less stringent than the fasting of Ramadan. But was it so different? Were we so different? While our faiths and upbringings were in different parts of the world — from different traditions — we shared this bond of curiosity, of togetherness, of friendship, of understanding, of peace.

Of love. That’s what I remember. That love you showed me; even here in my homeland of America, you opened your door to me. You and Figen cooked for me, but you left me with much more than a full stomach. You showed me the true meaning of humanity. You showed me the joy of what it is to be loved and accepted, no matter who I am. You showed me what it means to be a good Muslim. The joy I remember most is when you took me to see the Whirling Dervishes, a group of Turkish-Muslim dancers who promote mutual understanding and peace across nationalities and religion. That night we saw the Dervishes spin and twirl, and I saw my own expectations for what Islamic art and culture are spin as well, negating whatever notion I had of this being a “foreign” concept and making it feel truly symbiotic with the values I had been raised with as a Catholic: faith, hope and love — and the greatest of these is love. That night, Ahmet, is a night I will remember for the rest of my days, because it was a night I realized that we are all more alike than we are different. You and your wife may speak a different tongue, may pray in a different way, may fast more fervently than I ever will, but we will whirl together, like the Dervishes. We will whirl in unison, spinning together in lockstep, our hands outstretched upward. You remember all of that, don’t you? I do. I remember it as our world remains uncertain, as governments respond to this or that event. I remember it as pundits talk, as politicians say what they will say to get what votes they want. They say what they will. And I say this: Until we meet again, either in Turkey or here in the United States, or elsewhere in this world, please know that I will cherish the day we once again meet, kiss cheeks, eat çorba and sip rich Turkish coffee. I want to have that memory once again, Ahmet. I want to know our world will allow it. Peace and love. Your dear friend, Scott n

DECEMBER 10, 2015 INLANDER 75