Inspirational Woman Magazine - Wisdom Edition by Inspirational Woman Magazine

A Publication of

The International Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Leadership Association

Dr. Angela Cooper

Wisdom

Wisdom Issue Table of Contents 15

Angela Cooper

03 Letter from the Managing Editor 04 Editors 05 Top Female Designees 09 TheIWLA New Member List 15 I Am TheIWLA

Mary Jo Kelly

Charisse McCray

The Necessity of Wisdom

21 27 30

Reflections On My Life As An Educator and Wisdom Seeker

33 36 39 43

Wisdom’s Presence

Angela Cooper

Mary Jo Kelly

Belief Charisse McCray

The Wisdom to Wait, Watch and Listen Suzana Petrozzi

Becky Paroz

Four Simple Steps to Gaining Wisdom Chrissy B

Wisdom’s Choice Maureen Cresencia Kambarami

5 Top Tips Money-Wise Elcho Stewart

Letter from the Managing Editor Dear IWM Reader, The word wisdom cannot come into my mind without recalling the story of King Solomon and the two women who claimed to be the mother of the same infant boy. Both women presented an argument not easily resolved as to why she should be given the child. King Solomon proposed that the baby be cut in half and both women given half the child! When one woman agreed with that decision and the other screamed in disagreement and pleaded that the baby be given to the agreeing woman, King Solomon instantly knew who the real mother was. That, dear reader, is a quintessential example of wisdom. So, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take a step back and define what wisdom is, shall we? Better yet, think of those individuals you would describe as wise as I am confident the meaning will reveal itself. I believe wisdom in the result of combining that which we have learned with that which we have experienced thereby providing a well-balanced perspective capable of removing pure opinion (that which we chose to believe to be true) in favor of that which we have come to know to be true. Next, we need to be willing to share those perceptions (when asked) and allow others to reach their own perspective as a result of what you have helped them learn relative to what has or will apply to their own experience. The wisest of us all is one who never stops learning, continues to experience life to the fullest and is willing to listen to others before speaking. Enjoy this edition. Kind regards, as always, Beth Johnston

â&#x20AC;&#x153;By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.â&#x20AC;? Confucius

Meet the Editors Beth Johnston Managing EditoR

Beth Johnston is an entrepreneur of the truest kind. Known for her creative thinking in tandem with a strong mathematical mind, Beth has started and sold 3 businesses, consulted, coached and been an invited speaker at graduate-level classes and business events. As the oldest daughter in a large family, Beth says she was born in to management and learned good listening skills sitting around the dining room table. A believer that need and opportunity are a winning combination, Beth is eager to take on new solution-based projects that serve large communities and fill niches. At her core is the belief that cooperation trumps competition and that collabora-

tive relationships are not only smart, but sensible: team-work promotes engagement, empowers and leverages opportunities for faster growth, production and output. Beth is the Founder of The International Women’s Leadership Association (TheIWLA) and currently serves as its Executive Director and continues to do motivational coaching. As the Managing Editor of Inspirational Woman Magazine (IWM), Beth sees yet another opportunity to be of service to women around the world through IWM’s thematic editorial format combined with articles featuring outstanding women of leadership. This is yet another way TheIWLA promotes ongoing communication….

for women by women about women Laura Messenger layout editor and proofreader

A writer and researcher originally from the US, Laura has lived in Geneva, Switzerland since 2001 and splits her time between Geneva and the mountains of France’s Haute Savoie. In addition to her work with Inspirational Woman, she has written on aspects

of life abroad for JetSettlers and Hello Switzerland magazines. Her interests include travel and dance. Find Laura on Twitter @lauratheexpat and LinkedIn. 4

TheIWLA is proud to announce the following members as among Top Female Executives, Professionals and Entrepreneursâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; representing continued excellence in their area of expertise.

Dr. Delrita Abercrombie Lisa Adams Eva Dolorosa Adolfo Sandy Albanese Martine Altieri Kathie Anderson Beverly Aplikowski Rose Ayres Sarah Bailey Daphne Bain Janice Baylis Dorothy Bernal Pyatok Sara Blackburn Jeanne Blevins Connie Brennan Anne Brent Kanesha Brown Judith Budd Tracy Ann Campbell Dr. Lynne Celli Bernadette Charles Kathleen Conforti-Caldwell Patricia Corbett Nannette Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Imperio Stacy Deere-Strole Maryanne Doherty

Medical Psychologist-Field of Psychiatry Operations Manager Educator Realtor,Broker Associate,GRI Physician Assistant School Social Worker Chief Executive Officer, President RN, CCRN Vice President Paralegal II Retired Educator Educator First Mortgage Operations Manager Faculty President, Owner Receptionist/Administrative Assistant Architect Associate Publisher Founder, Chief Executive Officer Associate Dean of Graduate Education Physical Education Teacher Executive Territory Manager Social Worker Instructor in Computer Science Architect, Owner Interim Chair of the Department of Elementary Education

Linda Dunbar Patricia Dykstra Lamiaa Elfassi Judith Flandreau Dievendorf Debbie Floyd Susan Francis Miranda Franks Stephanie Gainous Susan Ganz Marieliz Garcia-Lopez de Victoria

Annette Gibbs Rashara Givhan Darlene Haist Judy Harsch Shana Haughton Christine Herrington Diane Hollenbach Elizabeth Honig Juliet Howland Marsha Jackson Mary Ann Jesse Linda Johnson Kimberly Johnson Daisy Jones-Brown Carol Kessler Valerie Keyes Elizabeth Keyloun Stephanie King Bonnie King-Rose Ann Krause-Hanson Barb Kunkel Tatania Kurbatov

Investment Director President Assistant Professor Owner, Chief Executive Officer SIS/Student RecordDirector Community Activist/Artist Attorney Sr. Human Resources Generalist Financial Navigator Chemical Application Advisor Vice President, North American Work Health Strategies Technical Lead Sales Leader Group Leader Owner Partner Owner Director Private Tutor Owner enrolled agent Program Manager General Agent/President Owner Acupuncturist, scientist Government Sales Associate Communication Coach Financial Services VP of Strategic Marketing, Innovation and Effectiveness President Founding President

Shelia Lamb Sharon Langham Linda Larabee Evie Lindberg IrisJane Lubas Susan Malpiedi Irene Manning Katy Marier Deborah Martinez Debbie McCloskey Neena Mehta Leslie Merklin-Barber Julia Miele Lydia Migus Cheryl Moore Rana Moufti Marium Murad Katherine Myers Peggy Nairn Linda Neilson Elaine Ninberg Margaret Njuguna Cheryl Noti Andrea Nouryeh Josephine Pallard Jeanne Pincha-Tulley Annmarie Pinkham Kathi Pletzke Diane Pomerance Mary Praitano Marjean Purinton Daveda Quinn

Owner Owner/Trainer Vice President of Asset Management Associate Professor Founder Legal Nurse Consultant Clinical Liaison Major Capital Projects (RN) Executive Director Co-Principal Senior Sales Consultant Chief Nursing Officer Diabetes Program Coordinator Executive Director Executive Director Controller Pension & Benefits Manager Founder, Medical Doctor, Nutritionist, Yoga Teacher Assistant Technology Specialist Chief Operating Officer Attorney Real Estate Sales Representative CEO/Partner Professor Emerita Education Program Director Forest Fire chief Director of Corporate Appeals Director of Transparency Technology Owner Chaplain Professor of English Supervisor of Industrial Pre-Treatment Program, Chemist

Leonor Ramiscal Vernetta Rascoe Sallie Robinson Marti Rodamaker Rebecca (Becky) Roe Ella Ruggles Amy Sampsell Christine Schairer Yvonne Schmitt Linda Schultz Jennifer Seate Hazel Showell Julia Siffrin Amy Slonaker Jennifer Smith Dawn Solomon Virginia St. Hilaire Anne Stiles Laurie Sullivan-Sakaeda Alka Swarup Linda Thompson Paula Villabonna Jillian Warner Carol Weber Barbara Westergaard Jennifer Whiteaker-Hevelone Jamila Williams Barbara Williams Hardy Jane Wingate Josephine Ann Zanghi Mandy Zellmer

Med Lab Scientist EHS Manager Lead Teacher CEO Program Director/Co-Founder Video Technology Program Coordinator Owner Professional Services Specialist Owner Realtor, Broker Partner Owner Plumber Oncology Service Line Clinical Manager Senior Manager Sr SAP Business Process Analyst Case Manager Professor, Director Director Chief Executive Officer published author President, Founder Adjunct Faculty Sr. Engineering Project Team Leader Writer, Editor Executive Director Travel Club Membership Specialist Director, Diversity & Inclusion Owner/EVP Retired Clerk Vice President of Human Resources

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

TheIWLA proudly welcomes our newest members: Tracy Adams Lucia Albers Karla Alexander Dana Alkadi Joy M. Allen Patricia Almond Amy Amato Shirley A. Anderson Judith E. Antisdel Wendy Armstrong Kimberly Aufdencamp DaNelda Austin Ellen Awai Chevon T Baccus Lysa A Barbour Janet Bauer Deborah M. Bautista Sheryl Bentzley Donna Lynn Bernero Lynn Blumenfeld Ashley M. Bothwell Sue Boyle Jennifer L. Breton Carol D. Brown Joanne S. Calcagno Jelaine Calvin Jennifer A Campbell Kristie Campbell Reina Carrillo Christi Cavallo Cora Clampitt Patti Clement Loretta Cobbs Maria Colavito Annam (Elle) Collier

Assistant Principal East LME State of Nevada Director of Major Gifts Exuctive Coordinator Anchored Home Healthcare, LLC President Weechiwaywin Coordiator President Owner Director of Finance Jewelry Coordinator Behavioral Health Consultant Advertising Team Leader President & CEO DDS, MSEd, MSPH, MBA County Clerk & Auditor-Controller Downriver Internists Independent Distributor MDB Global LLC DBA Lynn’s General Store Event Coordinator Owner Lebel & Harriman, LLP Admin Coordinator, Arts in Education Author/Owner McDonald’s CEO/Founder Strip, Hoppers, Leithart, McGrath & Terlecky, CO, LPA CEO Owner, Founder Attorney-Owner First Vice President, Private Client/High Networth LPN Vice President Spiritual Director

Stacey Conner Wendy Ann Damon Denise Dank Josie Delpriore Eileen Dennis Mari L. Derouaux Birgit DeSotle Mehtap S. Donuk Sandra Duval Tanya R. Eaton Deborah Elliott Rebecca Ellis Martha A Emhardt Marybeth Erickson Iris I. Esch-Williams Christy Ewing Syndette Joy Fabello Mary E. Faller Rebecca Farrar Karen Feste Kristina A Frey-Keller Sharon Fried Buchalter Virginia Fuller Andrea Gager Michele Galati P. Rachel Garrido Jayne Garrison Dibyava Ghosh Thresa Giles Anna Maria Gilfillan Gabrielle Gipson Paige Goddard Isabel M. Gonzalez Nicole M. Grado Loretta Granger-Medrano Victoria J. Greenough Cordella Grimes-Lopez

HR Director Workforce Solutions of Central Texas Chief Human Resources Officer Director of Human Resouces Moneytree, Inc. Memorial Health Coldwell Banker NYIT Owner Indianapolis Public Schools Foundation of New York State Nurses, Inc. Owner Nurturing Nature LLC Business Relationship Manager Instructor President UCLA Health Safety & Training Specialist Veterans Peer Support Group Of Evansville University of Denver DynCorp International Founder, Chief Executive Officer Founder/RN Author/Playwright College of Staten Island Senior Director Chief Operating Officer Global Account Executive Chief Business Officer Owner/ Buyer Conformance Specialist Broker Associate/Sales Manager American Packaging and Supply Co., Inc. Division President Manager of Business Developement IT Operations Manager

Nancy Groah Mary M. Grom Cynthia Hansen Andrea Harbin Arline J. Harris Kendra Harris Green Lisa Hauer Catherine Hawthorne Michelle K. Hayes Gaynell Hayward-Caesar Margaret Henry Tamara Houston Anna Hubbell Diane L. Hudson Kathryn B. Hull Aileen Ilaria Robin Irwin Rana Isaqi Melissa Iteld-Jurin Kelly L. James Kathy Jones Jean Kachik Nancy R. Katz Karen E Kelly Rhonda King June Klein Ellen M. Klein Elaine R. Koehler Pamela Kurt Edith Kusek Margaret La Bounty Susanne D Lange-Wick Jean Larrick Melanie Lehman Barbara Leigh Eva I Liang, MD Suzanne P. Linde

Independent Sales Representative Reading Specialist SVP Operations Liquids Pipelines Andrea Harbin State Farm Valley Telephone Co-op Senior Account execcutive Registered Representative Catherine G. Hawthorne MD Vice President Asset Management Department of Health Founder/Director Sr Financial Analyst Oregon Mutual Ins Subrogation Specialist President Music Teacher COO Support Services Specialist Dentist Brown Academy Owner Business Owner Vice President President & Principal Medical Writing Consultant Purchasing Director Biology Operations Manager/Author CEO Global Quality Leader Senior Sales Manager, U.S. Attorney Asst. Chief/ Paramedic Rock Speaks Studio Principal School Teacher (Retired) Clarksville High School Artistic/Producing Director Center for Sight Instructional Assisstant

Donna Little-James Melynda R Lopez Anna Lourie Donna Luck-Martin Heather Murphy Mack Shanee Major-Kelly Margaret Maness S. Peggy Manoogian Noemi Marin Leah Mastaglio JoAnn Mastronardi Nina Mbakwe Gail McCarthy Andrea M. McClemmy Kathleen M McHenry Kaitlin McHugh Sandra McKenzie Joyce Gomes McSweeney Tammy Meadows Donna Mejia Kristin L. Michaloski Molly Migliaccio Tara Miller Eileen Marie Moore Gloria Morgan Denise Moser Jennifer Moses Debbie Mowrey-Webb Sharon V. Mulholland Nancy Mulqueen Melissa Nicoletti Lisa K. Noel Brenda Northern Irena Nuic-Werber Debbie Oakes Megan OConnor Aleksandra Olow

Project Manager Kaiser Thomson Reuters EMS Instructor Heather Mack, Consulting Major & Associates Retired President Florida Atlantic University Assistant General Manager CSEA, Inc CRO Principal AAA Mid-Atlantic Founder/Owner Design Consultant (interiors/product) - Owner Attorney University of Connecticut Vice President Performing Arts instructor Director VP of Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handbag Design Associate Director, Operations Optima Machinery Corporation Cleveland State University President/Owner Asst. Budget Director CEO President, Owner Broker/Owner Broker Associate Technology Manager Owner General Manager Safety Engineer Owner UCSF

Mariana I. Oprea Dorothy Owsley Ivelisse Pagan Marielle L. Penney Joanna Petrakis Eva Pickens Denise M. Pilie Yvonne Poley Joanne Pollara Mary E. Poppen Sarah A. Preble Tamara Pryor Jeanne Rademacher Ivys R. Ramirez Victoria Randis Amy D. Reynolds Ann Marie Riberdy Linda Richardson Carole A Riley Sally Riley Angela D Robinson-Young Lori Rocheleau Kamala Rodriguez judith rogala Naomi E. Rose Rita Rosnick Cristina Lucia Sร ยกnchez Vebber

Luanne Sadowsky Renee K Santana Sandra Sas Carla H Schlissel Brittany Schmoyer Lori E. Schumaker Jo Anne H. Settles Carol Simmons Ursallie A. Smith Marianne Solomon

Union County Public Schools Executive Director Finance Manager Quality Mgr./ISO Management Rogers Communications Associate Vice President of Communications and Community Outreach

Loyola University New Orleans, College of Law The Turning Point at MidHusdon Regional Hospital of Westchester Medical Center

Pleasantdale School Chief Customer Officer President eating disorder center of Denver Owner/Trainer Chief Exeuctive Officer, Founder ,Dietitian Lead Infant and Toddler Teacher Accounting Supervisor Firmwide Manager of WHDS Technology & Litigation Support Sales Executive Director Platinum Realty Teacher Nursing Senior Consultant CEO, Founder Book Developer & Book Midwife / Publisher Associate Director, Quality Assurance Partner Lakeland Regional Health Director of Configuration VP Branch Manager Carla H Schlissel, DDS Marketing & Client Services Director Spiritual Writer Professor President Owner Executive Director

Lida Soulikhan Darlene T. Sparks Tamara H. Stafford Nina Stapel Shirley N. Stelbrink Carolyn H. Stewart Lynne Stover-Jobe Sandra Wright Sutherland Theresa Szucs Shirley E. Taylor Eliana Temkin Sharon Thompson Jaynee Thorne Naomi R. Tickle Tracy Tidwell Suzanne Z. Troll Valerie N. Tubner Shelby Tuck-Horton Geylis Valdiva Clara VanBlargan Heather Vaughn Evelina Veizaj Brianna Venekamp Debbie Waitkus Lynda Watkins Shyann West Sarah Westerdale Regina Willis Anita Wilson Bela Wolf Rebecca Worrell Dana Young Jamalyn Zore

Independent Contractor Owner Financial Controller Blazing Radiance President StewartGroupConsulting intervention specialist Iris Press St. Joseph Healthcare System US Government Kaiser Permanente Director of Nursing Artistic Humanitarian Owner Principal Broker/Owner Personal Life Coach Technical writer Owner Owner/manager City Clerk Allure Window Coverings Accountant Sioux Falls School District/Whittier Middle School President Director of Development Schlumberger Manager, Aerospace & Mass Transit Market Development Human Resource Assistant HealthLink author SHE WAS LEFT ALONE Clinical Informatics and Manager of Revenue Solutions, Registered Nurse

Discovery Groups, LLC USPS & Zoreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Inc.

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Angela Cooper

The Necessity of Wisdom

Wisdom, the thinking generally goes, is hard earned by putting in your time and piecing together scraps of knowledge along the way. But I prefer the adage that age does not make us wise, it makes us older, and the two are not synonymous. If I you were to think about the wisest person that you know, someone whom you hold in high regard and would seek counsel from, who will appear in your mind? Many of you will see an older, seemingly wiser associate or professional with whom your path has crossed who left an indelible impression forever to be etched in your mind. Others may see a

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

younger person -- someone who, despite his or her relative youth, you regard as genuinely wise. University of Florida, Gainesville sociology professor Monika Ardelt defines wisdom as a combination of cognitive, reflective and compassionate qualities and it is not the sole purview of the elderly. Wisdom, explains this professor, is something that can be cultivated, and the potential pay-offs are big: Her research has shown that Dr Cooper, Connie Lastinger, Dr. Cecil McClary discuss strategy and wise men and women enjoy imimplantation of a Virtual Learning Platform for educators. proved well-being as they age because they’re better able to deal with challenges, such as declining structure your business accounts. of understanding as measureless health and the loss of loved ones. If you’re unfamiliar with legal con- as the sands on the seashore. In cepts and lack the understanding 1st Kings 10:24 we learned that Whether you see a younger or an for overall litigation matters, seek people from every nation came to older person in your mind, when counsel from a wise and trusted consult him and to hear the wisyou are charged with growing an lawyer. And as relationships are in- dom God had given him. We can organization, wisdom matters. For tegral to your success, it is always learn great lessons from the prinexample, it is important to get the wise to put together and nurture ciples that Solomon used to build, a trustworthy support network of grow, and rule his kingdom that accomplished professionals who are as applicable today as they can advise you in matters of busi- were during his time. As a profes“Wisdom... is ness structure, strategy, and orga- sional woman of faith, I do. something nization. that can be Solomon was a young king when cultivated, and God made King Solomon the God asked him to name whatever richest king who ever lived, and he desired and He would grant it the potential he was able to use this God-giv- to him. He could have asked for pay-offs are en wisdom to build a powerful anything – riches and power, for big...” kingdom and a profitable busi- example. Instead he chose wisness empire. Solomon’s business dom to lead his people effectively. right advice, especially during the interests included international In response, God not only gave challenging times. If you’re unfa- trade and merchant ships (1 Kings Solomon wisdom, He also gave miliar with accounting, get advice 10:22-29, 2 Chronicles 9:13-14). him wealth and honor. from a respected subject mat- God gave Solomon wisdom and ter expert in the field on how to very great insight, and a breadth What are the secrets of those peo-

I AM TheIWLA ple who are wise beyond their years? Many will say it is because of the vast experiences in their lives. Or is it that they really want to learn right where they are? They may appear to be dedicated sponges in order to do so. And

grounded. They do not run from the adversity that comes into their lives but realize that life really is short; they choose to make the best decision possible and move forward. There is so much wisdom in understanding that

Dr. Cooper outlined her plan for fluid rollout as she facilitated a live, synchronous online class.

they seem to have a keen sense of avoiding a decision is a decision. discernment and are able to see what they are really dealing with As pawns on a chess board, rather than what it appears to be. we all step into a time when it would be seemingly helpful if Regardless of age, many people we could only “read the signs” considered wise have cultivated and move forward knowing the gift of being alone for a time that we have made the right of reflection; they generally be- decision and can move forward lieve in a silent time, or prayer without trepidation. But in life, and meditation; you may refer there are more of those scenes to this as solitude. What is more, where we are more like the carthey have learned how to grow toon figure staring blankly at from crises rather than succumb the arrows at a crossroad, hopto them; they are “solvent” and ing to choose the right path.

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Or maybe you are like the friend who confesses that the real problem is that she can’t tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the universe and one of her own hair-brained ideas! Or maybe you are like the overburdened soul that seeks counsel from the wise owl, only to learn that the purpose in your life is to find a purpose in life! Most people can remember those people that inspired or improved us in some way. Chances are, these individuals inspired you to push yourself and achieve something memorable and significant or just to work toward being a better person. There is no single way to be an inspiration to other people, but leading by example and taking time to help others elevate themselves and broaden their view of the world can help. Spend some time identifying what or who inspires you, look at the qualities that make them inspirational, and plan to make those qualities a part of who you are. As a professional in the field of organizational behavior, in order to have help, I strive to surround myself with others who are subject matter experts in their fields. Not only that, I try to impart my knowledge into those who work around me. Knowledge is not power unless you do something with it. Being able to do both of these things is very wise and rewarding. It is always sad to hear of other professionals who, for whatever reason,

I AM TheIWLA do not want to surround themselves with those smarter than them in areas nor do they care to impart what they have learned to others. It seems so short sighted and in fact, so unwise. King Solomon, a leader synonymous with wisdom, says, “The intelligent man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them.” Wise leaders are always preparing themselves and their groups to meet the future. They create a positive and optimistic approach to support themselves and others. To learn how to lead is largely a matter of getting acquainted with the development we are a part of, constantly seeking knowledge and new information that will move things forward. Development takes place all the time. We are in a never-ending process of transitioning from yesterday to today and toward tomorrow. The world is changing physically, socially, and economically at this very minute. When we recognize that life itself is about development, our task becomes to creatively resolve the various situations we encounter and to see things in new and different ways.

renewal. In effect, we are setting ourselves up to learn more of life’s exciting journey. Wise leaders realize that success is right on the other side of perceived failures. They see failure as a part of the process of development and as an opportunity to gain experience and to learn. They are constantly asking new questions, and that opens up new perspectives. Solomon says, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

person does not always win the race, nor the strongest man the battle. Wise men are often poor, and skillful men are not necessarily famous.”

Wise leaders realize that – as many say – life is not fair. We are sometimes struck unfairly by losses, which may be heavy burdens to bear. But even when we suffer considerable losses, we still have something most valuable left, something that no loss can take away: the freedom and power to choose how we will respond to life situations and events and the Failures contribute to the dis- manner in which we intend to adcovery of weaknesses. Then our dress other people we encounter analysis of what occurred makes along the way. it possible for us to gain support and practice and to learn so we Next to life itself, the power of can strengthen what was weak. So choice is our greatest gift. Wise even if this sounds rather strange, leaders know that it’s not what we actually learn more from fail- happens to us – but what hapure than success. It is part of the pens in us that really counts, so quest towards becoming a wiser they choose to respond construcleader. tively to life events and situations. They choose to turn the negative Wise leaders consider adversity as temporary information on how far they have come on their journey. Using adversity, they mobilize people to gain new energy and power for the next step. They “Next to life examine perceived failure for the itself, the power learning inherent in it, and they of choice is our communicate in a way that progreatest gift.” duces positive energy in their group, thus building an incentive to take even stronger action.

We can all count on situations where we will experience adversities, difficulties, or problems. But by accepting change as a natural part of life and leadership, we are taking important steps toward As Solomon noted, “The swiftest

I AM TheIWLA into something positive and learn from it. They choose to be grateful for life’s trials – which they view only as opportunities for learning. We all have access to that power within us. We have to accept life as it is and balance what we receive against that which we expect, so we always will maintain a positive

know that the more experience they gain and the more setbacks they overcome, the better and stronger leaders they will become. Therefore, they are working hard on themselves and their groups to look at every situation from newer and greater perspectives.

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

jectives and progress, and they strengthen initiative and the ability to act. Accomplishing small steps gives encouragement to go further and strengthen the group’s self-confidence and sense of being successful. Each day, step-by-step dealing with and resolving opportunities, information, and issues that we are facing brings forward the best in us. This is how we grow! Solomon says, “Look straight ahead; don’t even turn your head to look.”

Wise leaders teach themselves and their group to identify the focus of concern—that which they can directly affect and that which they can affect in a process forward. They continue with determination to gather experience, which they then turn into wisdom. They renew their group’s cultures and in this way build the Dr. Cooper enjoys a day of apple picking with her family- Lynsey, Dustin, Allonah, Jones, and Greg. new society. Wise leaders feel the deep pleasure and the call to cremovement forward. They retain the view that gives ate the new, better, and greater. Solomon advises, “Don’t you know them the strength and energy to that this good man, though you trip proceed with commitment and Read more about Angela here. him up seven times, will each time interest. We are especially imporrise again?” tant for each other, to support each other in such an approach. Check out Dr. Cooper’s Wise leaders draw strength from crossword puzzle setbacks and learn from failures. Solomon tells us, “Keep on sow“Wisdom” on They realize that trials make peo- ing your seed, for you never know Crossword Hobbyist ple to grow, that the suffering which will grow – perhaps it all will.” or view/print out the teaches us patience, and that pafollowing page tience develops internal strength During challenging periods, wise and character. We mature. They leaders focus on short-term ob-

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom

Across

January - February 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

On Wisdom: By: Dr Angela Cooper

Down

3 The state of being alone

1 To wish or long for; ask for

5 Able to pay debts

2 Realistic confidence in ones own judgement, ability, power, etc.,

8 Anything that joins or unites 10 Generally played by one person alone 11 The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, paint, etc., 12 The act of solving a problem, question, etc., 13 To seek for (something) by entreaty, earnest or respectful request, formal application 14 Holding fast; persistence

3 To unite firmly 4 To find the answer or explanation 6 The psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another 7 The quality of being believable or worth of trust 8 A person who performs alone 9 A further-est or culminating point; a turning point

16 Having the quality of deciding; crucial more important

12 Without openings or breaks

17 Reliable

15 Realization in advance; foretaste

18 Responsible for overseeing and protecting that which is considered worth of care.

19 The quality of being wise

20 Answerable, or accountable for something within one's power, control, or management. 21 A particular period considered as distinct from other periods. 22 Liable or answerable

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Forty-Eight Years Before the Class:

Reflections on My Life as an Educator and Wisdom Seeker Mary Kelly

I AM TheIWLA From early August to late May each year, I go to work just as I have since 1968, when I began my first paid position in the career I had prepared for since birth. The places and building names have changed, the faces are different, the tools and furnishings are different, and my titles have changed. My work is still the same; I am an educator. I couldn’t be anything else if I tried. I can’t help it. It’s in my blood because I was raised by very powerful female role models. I was raised by powerful women Growing up, I was surrounded by intelligent, hardworking women who shared with me their passion for learning, their love of children, their visions of the future, and their belief in the power of goodness and the beauty of life. I was fortunate to know and be mentored by such strong women who did not give up in the face of adversity and always worked for what they believed despite all odds. I call them my “Women of Power:” Whenever my path was not clear, whenever my heart hurt from the decisions that I had to make, whenever I was confronted with things that troubled me…I would say, “Women of Power, guide me!“ I believe that they have done so! I have seen great changes The period following WWII was one of dynamic changes – in family life and social structure, in politics and government, in business and occupations, in technology and communications, in medical advances and the expansion of knowledge. My generation was dubbed “Baby Boomers” because there were so many children born right after WWII. We were unique in that we grew up in a period of multitudinous changes, and we had to adapt to these changes in every aspect of our lives. What was science fiction back in the 1950’s is reality today. It was called the atomic age, the age of Buck Rogers and the 21st Century. We went from man-inthe-moon to Man on the Moon in a bit more than

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

a decade. Education was no longer a means to prepare citizens and train the workforce but a tool for national security. It was this era when I became an educator - a time of division and turmoil. I experienced turmoil and confusion The 1960’s saw the Cold War escalate. We all knew that “duck and cover” would not protect us from the bomb, especially with Russian missiles only 90 miles away. Our advisory role in Vietnam turned into a shooting war, drafting thousands of young people. We lost leaders to assassins, and cities and college campuses were plagued by riots and protests. Our schools became ideological battlegrounds as government agencies sought to enforce change and equality. The year before I graduated, I taught at a small Catholic school in Pineville. Because of a shortage of certified teachers, I was given a temporary certificate. The principal cautioned me that this group had made their sixth grade teacher quit. I saw that half of the students were bright but extremely lazy. The others were hard workers who had to struggle to make decent grades. The bright students finished fast and then misbehaved; the hard workers grew frustrated and misbehaved. My solution – pair the learners and share the grades. I didn’t know if my plan was educationally sound; I did know it worked. The slow students blossomed as their peer teachers made them rework every assignment until they both were satisfied with the results. When I look back, that first year was one of my best. I felt students learned more when their subjects were integrated. That was also the year I decided what I wanted to study for my advanced degrees. We had very few teaching materials at that school. I shared an overhead with the eighth grade, and the school had one hand-cranked ditto machine for everyone to use. On the very first day of school, I cranked the machine with such gusto that I sent the

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

entire stack of paper firmly underneath the ditto’s drum. No amount of jerking on paper, handle or drum would fix my mistake; the repairman had to be called. I was sure of being killed by the other teachers or fired on the spot. I vowed that I would never again be beaten by a piece of machinery or technology. So an Ed.D. in technology and curriculum design became my goal. The following year, I fought to do my student teaching with a class like one I would have after graduation. I knew school systems in 1970 were sending neophytes to the toughest assignments in newly-integrated schools in their districts. I asked to be given a class like that. I was blockaded by the College administrators, who said that sort of class wouldn’t provide the best possible experience for me. I was forced to do my teaching with a class who had been promised no more student teachers that year. They were less than cooperative when I took over from their teacher because they felt betrayed. My next three years were at a formerly Black K-12 school that had been restructured as a middle school. My partner, Marcia Amy, and I team-taught an experimental humanities course for seventh graders. We decided to include music and art teachers in our objectives and group projects. Even though none of us had more than three years’ experience, we were invited to present with our students at the National Humanities Convention in New Orleans. Those first three years of integration were very difficult for all of us, Black and White, and at the end of the third year, I decided that I was ready to teach older children. Reading across America with Thing 1 and Thing 2

I was assigned to Baton Rouge High, teaching English and social studies. During that time I developed vocal nodules and was told to completely rest my voice. As a result, I discovered that teachers talk far too much. I used my overhead projector for directions, had a friend tape-record my lessons, and used projects and reports instead of teacher talk. The district people came to observe the

I AM TheIWLA talk-less classroom and were amazed. “You have followers, not students,” my assistant principal asserted. The last year I was at BRHS, we heard our school was being considered as a future magnet school. My students and I created video productions to show the school board why they should select our campus. Our ideas were accepted: My students got to stay. I, however, was transferred to another school because I was too good at motivating the unmotivated.

And so it goes From BRHS, I was sent to Central. I think that my tenure there was the shortest on record. The principal, a military man, asked me if I was able to follow orders. My dad was a marine DI, and I answered as any good marine would…It depends on what your orders are. I was transferred three days later to Broadmoor HS, where I sponsored the drill team as well as taught English. At the end of football season, I was sent to Tara High, where I spent the next 14 years teaching English, social studies, drama, media techniques, radio and television broadcasting, and journalism. I wrote curriculum for the district, designed plans for a technology magnet school, ran a low-power radio station, and created a theater program. I held beauty pageants and published the yearbook and literary magazines. I have been told that when I retired in 1991, three people were needed to take my place. One student who had taken several classes with me told me, “It doesn’t matter what you teach, you should be a required course.”

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

I left Tara for new challenges –to found a middle school, hire its faculty, and develop a curriculum. I had a building, books, and desks, but not much else but dreams and sweat equity. At the end of four years, we had a curriculum and programs that were at the forefront of educational design. I learned I was not happy being a principal. When a fellow principal asked if I knew anyone who would like a library job, I volunteered and became the Book Doctor. I was explaining to my kindergarteners that I was called “Doctor,’” but that I was not the kind of doctor that gave shots, fixed teeth, or saw pets. A little boy in the back waved his hand furiously, so I called on him. “I know what kind of doctor you are,” he said proudly. “And what kind of doctor is that?” I asked, relived that there was no emergency. “Why, you are the Book Doctor!” I spent six years at Holy Family, then I moved back to public schools, where certified librarians were a critical shortage area. After 12 years at Park Forest Elementary, I transferred to The Dufrocq School three years ago because of its unique structure and curriculum. As a library/media specialist, I have presented at local, district, state and regional conferences; reviewed books for national publications; become nationally board certified, and spent my summers touring public libraries in a four-parish area (Louisiana’s name for counties) as The Book Doctor, supporting summer reading programs. I have hosted Prime Time Reading programs for the Louisiana Endowment for the Humanities. I have

“It doesn’t matter what you teach, you should be a required course.”

I AM TheIWLA been a storyteller for public television outreach programs, the CASA program, drug education programs in West Feliciana Parish, and in local private schools. What I have seen Frequently I am asked whether children have changed over the years. No, children are children. In all the years I have been an educator, the children have been the only constant. Children have always been self-centered. They were born that way to ensure their chance for survival. Children are inquisitive. They have to be in order to stay alive. They are energetic – another survival mechanism. They respect people and things that they can understand. They challenge rules, yet they need the structure that rules provide in order to protect them from themselves and the world. They need to be told anything that they must remember at least 15 times, and they like to hear the same stories over and over. They love color, music, sounds, movement, and patterns. They love finding out about new things and solving puzzles and making things. They love hugs and smiles. They love good surprises and rewards; most of them love sweet foods. Many of them are confused by the world, by rejection, by uncertainty, by cruelty, and by fear. Our children have not changed. Our parents have changed. Many of our parents were still children themselves when their children were born. Children raising children. Many of our children are raising themselves, making deci-

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

sions that only parents should make. Children today tell parents what they will eat, what they will wear, and what they will and won’t do. Parents are not giving their children the structure and discipline that is necessary to help them become less egocentric, to focus less on “me” and more on “we.” This is the process that our parents called growing up. The result of a lack of firm guidance is creating a world of adults who make decisions focused on self, not society or community. The freedoms upon which our government was based are being lost, little by little, and fewer and fewer people are even aware of their loss. One of the greatest freedoms that we have is the

Puppet Time with Pre K, waiting for the Big Bad Wolf to appear.

freedom to be wrong, to make one mistake and another and another. That is how we have learned everything that we know – trial and error. That is how we learned to crawl, to sit, to walk, and

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

to speak. Today that freedom is under attack. No one wants to ever be wrong or to make a mistake. No one wants to be responsible if something happens. There is not one perfect person walking the face of the earth today. We are all humans, and humans all make mistakes. That is how we learn. Look at history… that is the only way humans have ever learned.

profession, too many great teachers are leaving, like shell-shocked refugees seeking refuge from their attackers. And, yes, educators have been attacked by irate parents, by politicians, by media, and by corporate entities seeking profit from countless new gimmicks, slogans, products, programs, and panaceas. We are not coming up with anything much except new terminology for old ideas.

The parents today often are unable to accept that their children are imperfect. They believe that if they accept that their children make mistakes, they are not perfect parents. They want all grades to be A’s. They want all children to learn the same things in the same way according to the same schedule. That will never happen until we cease to be individuals. Parents want to believe that someone else is responsible if their children are not perfect. o, they blame the teachers, the curriculum, the goals, the tests. And they look for someone to fix things.

In spite of everything, I am not leaving my students. Each morning when I see enlightenment shine in the eyes of a child, when I see them smile, when they come to me for a quick hug, when they tell me, “that was neat, Doc!’ I know why I return each day and why I continue to educate. My students are the future, and in them is hope.

Our legislators have changed. They think that if they write more laws, we can be exempt from being imperfect. They think that they can regulate schools so that all children are the same. They act as though having been to a school makes them experts on education. With that type of logic, because I have ridden an airplane and know terms like thrust and lift, I could tell pilots how to fly. I don’t want to tell them, nor do I want legislators to tell my surgeon how to remove a cancer. I have watched as many educators have left the classrooms in the past 20 years, and many more are marking their calendars until they too can retire. Instead of reclaiming control of their

“Each morning when I see enlightenment shine in the eyes of a child, when I see them smile, when they come to me for a quick hug, when they tell me, “that was neat, Doc!’ I know why I return each day and why I continue to educate. My students are the future, and in them is hope.”

Read more about Mary here.

I AM TheIWLA

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Charisse McCray

Belief

Back in the late 1970s when I was a teenager, my mother relocated us from Brooklyn, New York, to Woodlawn, Maryland, near Baltimore. She believed that there we could have a better life style in the future. Being very familiar with the public transit system in New York City as a patron, getting around was not a problem for me. I traveled the system through all five boroughs, usually by subway. When I arrived in Woodlawn, however, I found that the

I AM TheIWLA

public transit system there was the vendors from whom we were very interestingly antiquated. trying to procure parts for the fleet had “obsoleted” all parts beI began my tenure with the Mary- cause of the decrease in demand. land Transit Administration (MTA) in 2005 as a part-time informa- I was able to find vendors to retrotion agent. I was promoted to a fit some of the parts for the fleet. I full-time cost and price clerk and created the relationship between in 2007 became an inventory su- Metro staff and the vendors that pervisor. Since then I have contin- are still being used today. I was ued to be in the inventory depart- successful in completing the bar ment, through five administrators, coding of the inventory of ten two governors, and four different million dollars and in bringing the directors of procurement, under storeroom into compliance with which the inventory department the Americans with Disabilities falls in the organizational struc- Act (ADA) with a ture of the company. I was suc- restroom facility cessful in achieving my associates, within 250 feet bachelor’s, and master’s degrees, from an employall with honors. I believed I could ees’ workstation. be a change agent and obtained I also facilitated my Master’s Degree in manage- the completion ment with a concentration in or- of a heating sysganizational change and leader- tem for the emship. I contributed in the areas of ployees in their improvement and efficiencies to work area, made all three modes of transportation the area safer in covered by the MTA (bus, light rail, a work area that and subway). Belief that I could was unsafe, and make a difference in achieving facilitated the positive change within the MTA upgrade of the is what has given me the drive loading dock and determination to accomplish area with doors such change. and a scissor lift. I spent five of my ten years as the inventory supervisor for the Metro (subway) department, whose fleet of trains is the last of two of its type remaining in the world. Maintaining inventory for the fleet was an interesting task, as most of

I am currently holding a position as the inventory control supervisor for all three modes of the MTA. The

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

current MTA administrator has received authority from the current governor of Maryland to implement and complete the new BaltimoreLink (which can be viewed at www.MTA.Maryland.gov.) I have always had the belief that the current transit system in Baltimore could be so much better, and now I am witnessing the beginnings of something better. I believe that this new initiative is a great one. My belief is that this new system will bring with it the needed change for the citizens

June 18, 2014 1st Leadership Development Class for MTA @ The Community College of Baltimore County

I AM TheIWLA of Baltimore and its surrounding areas. It will provide connections to employers, shopping, churches, events, etc. The website states that the planned link will provide more people access to 745,000 jobs through an interconnected transit system: ••

Over 130,000 more jobs will be accessible via high-frequency transit compared to the existing network – a 36.7% increase

••

205,000 more people will have access to high-frequency transit compared to the existing network – a 34% increase

••

30,000 more people will have access to transit by increasing the service area by approximately 18 square miles

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

I am a believer that with trust, kindness, courtesy, and excellent customer service, which are key components to creating change within the MTA, this initiative will be very successful. I am committed to being a part of the change. I am so committed that I have signed up to be a part of the facilitators committee in the effort to provide excellent customer service in communication. I have belief that communication is a powerful tool in the mist of change. I am committed to doing what I can do to be a part of the change within the organization. I am also committed to doing what I can do for those citizens of Baltimore who are currently living on the streets in tents and are squatters. Providing low-income housing is another belief that I currently hold that I will be able to provide. A very close cousin of mine told me almost 30 years ago that an old man he had encountered out of the blue said to him, “Young man, in life always remember the three ‘P’s:’ patience, persistence and perseverance.’’ My cousin was murdered, and those words have stuck with me since. I live my life by those three “P’s.” They and the Serenity Prayer have carried me a very long way through life. Belief is what is necessary in life in the pursuit of dreams and aspirations. I am very full of beliefs, especially the belief that I can do all things through God who strengthens me!!

Read more about Charisse here. The oldest and the youngest Grandchildren

Wisdom

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

The Wisdom to

Wait, Watch, and Listen S u z a n a Pe t r o z z i

With the start of each New Year, you set out to start with a fresh perspective. You set yourself new goals and new resolutions. But for some people, these resolutions are broken and goals never achieved. I find with many of my clients, they set goals because they think they have to, and they inadvertently put pressure on themselves to achieve them. Whenever goals are set from a place of “I should, I must, I have to,” they are unlikely to be realized, and if they are realized, they don’t bring a sense of accomplishment or meaning. Whenever you hear yourself saying or thinking, “I Should,”“ I must,” or “I have to,” you

are operating from a place of fear. And so whenever you approach your life, goals alike, from a place of fear, you are crafting a very different path for yourself. One that will be filled with fear-driven thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, and this will be reflected in the quality of life that you experience every day. In order to see this year as you truly want it, to be you need to give yourself space to feel and be. We are our greatest enemy and the ones that get in the way of our life flourishing. All of your old conditioning will make you see something through fear, e.g.

people cannot be trusted, they will hurt me, life is meant to be hard, I don’t deserve success, and so on. But this year, choose to believe and act from a place of love, possibility, and openness that everything and everyone who shows up in your life is there to help and guide you. In order to shift to this level, you will need to slow down and get out your head and into your body, where your emotions and wisdom lie. Your emotions are the language of your intuition. Your intuition will guide you, without fail, to what feels right for you. Unfortunately, there is so much misconception around slowing down. I know this personally from facilitating workshops for leaders in corporations. There are rewards for results-driven planning and strategizing, yet this same approach is one that creates stress and a vicious cycle in the work place. When thinking is overdone, it places so much stress and pressure on the body that the body simply starts to shut down.

It takes so much more courage and trust to be present and listen to what lies deep inside and to act from this place, not just the head. When I run workshops for leaders, I teach the following five steps to help create purposedriven results, which open up so much more possibility and potential than head-driven results: 1. Become aware of what you’re feeling, sensing, and thinking. 2. Accept whatever is it that you are thinking, feeling, and sensing. To take it to another level, accept all your past and present experience without the need to change anything. 3. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and sense what you’re sensing without attachment to it. 4. Avoid judging what you feel, sense, or think. When you judge yourself and others, you create a vicious cycle between emotions, thoughts, and behaviours.

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

5. Take deep breaths in and out to integrate this process of awareness, acceptance, allowing, and not judging. Breath is a powerful anchor for staying present and allowing intense emotions to dissolve. What is interesting about these five steps is that they allow you to access much more of your brain. When you overthink, you overload the frontal part of your brain, which means that those other regions of your brain remain underutilized. Yet it’s these other regions of your brain that tap into your creativity and potential. To help shift this pattern, start something new like a new hobby or activity, e.g. painting, rock climbing, bushwalking, or a familiar activity with an increased level of challenge. This will help you to say focused, engaged, and in the flow. Furthermore, you will learn so much more about yourself, and self-knowledge is the road to empowerment.

Suzana (Suzi) Petrozzi is a wellness psychologist, sought after speaker, and an expert in the field of wellness psychology and human potential. Her true passion is empowering women to reconnect to their presence, power, and purpose so they can take on the bigger picture in life. Her dedication to personal development inspires her to keep growing and living a more fulfilling and prosperous life. You can learn more about Suzi at www.suzipetrozzi.com

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Wisdomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Presence Becky Paroz

We sit and long for insight and the way to move forward When we are faced with hardship, with moments untoward We wish for resilience and robust rigor in the face of wrong When we overcome we lift our faces, our hearts release a song Wisdom is the thing that all wish we had A cloak of knowledge in which to be clad A wellspring of understanding of what action to take When the plans for the future just all seem to break The trouble with that fiend we call sagacity Is it is hard to grasp when events approach at velocity

The perspicacious judgment of the motivated soul Does perhaps panic when it loses some kind of control When epic happenings occur to shuffle round the cards of life When you’re mired in the rising muck of the trouble and the strife

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

The confirmation of the circumspection, select the choice to do The creation of a vision of the future that only you see framed The clear-sighted insight that you have after victory is gained The getting of the wisdom that would have helped that much sooner

Wisdom oh! grant me…. is the lament du jour I need to decide! I need to be sure!

Instead of days of eating ice cream hiding out under the doona

It’s the application of the total sum of what you’ve learned before

It’s the acuteness of the acumen that to make a decision it does take

Said the accountant pacing round and round the floor

While some days it’s too much to choose a handbag or coat – which to take

We need a brainstorm collective with a mind map and pie

The understanding and good sense that can be offered by friends or peers

The HR manager exhaled with a triumphant cry

That wisdom that’s not yet yours may be in reach despite your fears

Who has been there done that got some stories to share from it And who wants to be the brave soul here that leads us out of this…chasm Who will provide the knowledge that will offer that correct path we seek to follow The one that leads to victory and does not leave one feeling empty or hollow Wisdom is the thing we seek, the answer that is true

Wisdom is the framework of the experience we collect After dealing with events we certainly didn’t expect But by trying and trying and trying something else again From calling “quits” to giving up in any way we refrain See it through and observe and report

Use a little rational or logical thought

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

It celebrates that you are there now that you have learnt the things it could have handed at first!

Wisdom is around you in many a different way A torturous illusory dynamic will-o’-wisp It comes in an array of forms on any given day After you find dear wisdom, with it you may be crisp It will be there if you seek it but seek it you must For wisdom is elusive, in us it does not trust

Where were you then and before when I needed a guiding light

Wisdom is a shy wee thing that hides behind your sighs

Someone to stand and be with me, next to me in this life-fight

It only shows its helpful face well after you’ve silenced cries

Wisdom please be welcome in my life at any way Please won’t you take up residence and stay

With you it compares the scars and shakes it head in shared personal growth And you store it up and remember it well and apply the lesson next time from notes

Sadly wisdom comes and goes as it pleases Helping in a crisis but more than not it teases One day I will construct a trap so well…

It mocks your pain and drinks your tears and laughs with glee and mirth

And once wisdom is mine, how I got it …Maybe I’ll tell…

Becky Paroz is known for her use of humor to challenge everything. She is motivated to pass on her lessons learned to assist and educate the next generation of leaders to become high achievers like herself. She challenges herself racing cars, learning stand up comedy, and studying quantum physics in her free time. She is now published around the world in several books she has co-authored and is releasing two of her own books this year. Becky just released her Facebook page – The Words of Bek. Connect there with her personally to find out she just keeps swimming!

Belief

November - December 2015 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Four Simple Steps to Gaining Wisdom

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; And No, You Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Have to Have White Hair

Christoulla Boodram Think of wisdom, and the traditional image that comes to mind is of an old man with white hair, living in a remote mountain village somewhere. But the truth is, anyone can be wise, young or old. Granted, older people have been through things that the younger ones may not have been through yet, but there are older people that actually lack wisdom.

The dictionary definition of wisdom is “the quality of having experience knowledge and good judgement - knowledge gained over time and the ability to use that knowledge and experience to make good decisions and judgements.” Here are four steps to becoming wise.

1. Learn from your mistakes. This is such an obvious one, and if you’re like me and like to try new things and to take risks, mistakes are inevitable, but it’s all part of the learning process. There is no problem with making mistakes as long as we learn not to repeat them. Why would we do the same thing again if we saw that it didn’t work in the first place? And as good old Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

taking it as a lesson for us not to fall into the same hole?

3. Think. We should all think about the consequences of our own words or actions. I’ve learned not to make a decision, for example, when I’m angry or sad, because that won’t be my head making the decision, but rather my emotions. And emotions can be very confusing and can get us into lots of trouble. It’s best to calm down, take some time out to think, and then make a decision. I’ve also learn to think about my dealings with people - how I speak, what I say, whether that person is ready to hear what I have to say, in the way I’m going to say it. Sometimes we’re itching to say or do something, but it’s not always the right time.

2. Learn from other people’s mistakes.

4. Work on you.

Why should you have to go through the pain, embarrassment, inconvenience, etc. of making a mistake that you have already seen someone else make? This could be seeing a loved one being treated badly by a partner but then starting a relationship with a man with the same character traits. It could be a work-related mistake that you see someone make that resulted in some kind of disciplinary action, but then you end up doing the same thing. Sometimes other people’s mistakes can be the gossip of the month, but instead of judging, how about

I love to work on my development. I’m always thinking about myself and what I can improve, not just in my career but personally – the way I relate to others, the way I think, how I deal with problems, etc. It helps me to stay grounded and not to ever think that I’m perfect or have reached the top of my game. There is always room for improvement. So for me, wisdom isn’t perfection, but it’s being someone who is willing to grow and develop and help others to do the same.

Chrissy B is the TV presenter of the Chrissy B Show, a talk show whose underlying theme is to bring people happiness within themselves, their careers, health and relationships. www.chrissybshow.tv.

The Wise Woman’s Stone

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone. Author Unknown

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

“A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.” William Blake

Words of Wisdom 1. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. 2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. 3. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. 4. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. 5. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 6. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 7. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 8. Frame every so-called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter?” 9. Forgive everyone everything. 10. What other people think of you is none of your business. 11. Don’t take yourself too seriously; no one else does. 12. Believe in miracles. 13. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. 14. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle

15. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 16. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 17. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. 18. Envy is a waste of time; you already have all you need sp make it work for you! 19. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 20. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Wisdom

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

Wisdom Is

a Choice Maureen Cresencia Kambarami

What is wisdom? Is it defined by life experience? Or is it defined by the number of grey hairs on one’s head? Or rather by the number of birthdays one celebrates? True wisdom, especially from a woman’s point of view, comes from God. A woman who puts God first in all that she does, who prays for her family every day, is a wise woman. I remember a few years back

that when my favorite uncle was on his deathbed, I visited him on his last day on earth. He said to me, “I pray, my child, that you will turn out to be a wise woman like your grandmother. She left me a treasure that has seen me through life all these years, through all seasons, and that treasure is prayer.” I was surprised that my uncle, who was the black sheep of the family, could say those words because I never thought he was the praying type; he always

evant, and is not affected by the economy or the politics of the day.

“We are not victims of circumstances, but active participants in our own lives.”

seemed busy chasing after money. However, when his life faded that day and I reflected on his words, I realized that he had left me wise words, words that would carry me through every situation I might encounter in my life. That is true wisdom. It never fades or expires, unlike the goods we buy, which either have an expiry date or a warranty. It remains durable across generations, remains rel-

A wise woman knows when to hold on and when to let go, when to speak and when to keep quiet, when to fight and when to make peace, when to confront and when to retreat. She knows when to challenge the status quo and when to accept the inevitable. I always get angry when I encounter people, particularly women, who believe that their present circumstances or backgrounds define their destinies. I do not believe that the past defines the future – well, not in my life, because I believe that I can shape the future to what I want it to be. I am in control of my destiny. Yes, the past is there for a reason, and I will learn from my mistakes, but I will not remain stagnant in the past. That I refuse to do. I look forward to a bright future against all odds. I recently met a young lady who was on the brink of committing suicide. She was very pretty, in-

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

telligent, and well spoken, and at first I thought it was a misdiagnosis. However, as our conversation deepened, I realized that she blamed her father for all the failed relationships in her life. “It’s as if it is written on my forehead that I am the daughter of an alcoholic, and I blame my father for this. If he had been a good father to me and my siblings, then men would also respect me and not see me as a plaything,” she told me. It took time to make her realize that the past did not define who she was. Our past is not written on our foreheads for everyone to see; it is we who give people cues on how to treat us. We are not victims of circumstances, but active participants in our own lives. We are born with the power of choice, power to distinguish right from wrong. Power to shape our destiny. As we start a brand New Year, let go of the past hurts and failures and move expectantly towards the future. In all that you do, do not forget to put God first, and everything else will fall into place.

Maureen Cresencia Kambarami is a qualified social worker based in South Africa. She holds bachelor’s and master’s degrees in social work, both from the University of Fort Hare, South Africa. She currently works in the field of HIV/AIDS, and her special focus is women and children. Some of her work is outlined in her master’s thesis entitled The experiences of women of their HIV/AIDS status disclosure to sexual partners: An exploratory study of Magunje Township, Zimbabwe (LAP Lambert Company, 2011). Maureen is also involved in family counseling. She can be reached at maureenlike@gmail.com.

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

The Two Rabbits â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Story About Wisdom by Darren Poke (Reprinted from Better Life Coaching Blog) There were once two rabbits, Wanda the Wise and Frederick the Foolish, who were walking through a field. They were good friends and enjoyed their strolls together.

On this walk, they came upon two carrots. One of the carrots had large leaves sprouting out of the top and the other looked much smaller from the surface. Frederick was excited and ran up to the carrot with the larger leaves. “I’ll have this one,” he proudly exclaimed and proceeded to extract it from the ground. Wanda shrugged her shoulders and pulled out the other carrot, which turned out to be much bigger. Frederick was surprised and asked how this could possibly be. Wanda looked at her friend and replied, “You can’t always judge a carrot by its leaves.” They kept on walking and came across another pair of carrots, again with differing sized leaves. This time Frederick allowed his friend the first pick. Wanda hopped to each carrot, inspected and sniffed them carefully and, to Frederick’s surprise, chose the carrot with the larger leaves. As they each extracted their carrots from the ground, Frederick was bemused to see that his carrot was smaller than Wanda’s.

“I thought that you said that small leaves meant it would be a larger carrot.” He said. “No,” replied Wanda, “I said don’t judge a carrot by its leaves. It’s also important to remember to think before you choose.” Frederick nodded and they ate their carrots before continuing their stroll. For a third time, they found two carrots, again with different sized leaves. Frederick looked confused and didn’t know what to do. Wanda indicated that he could choose which carrot to eat. The poor foolish rabbit, pretended to inspect each carrot, but he didn’t really know what to do. He knew that he wasn’t as smart as his friend and he looked to Wanda with a confused expression on his face. Wanda smiled warmly and hopped over to the carrots. She inspected them and pulled out one of the carrots. Frederick shrugged his shoulders and went to the other one before he was interrupted by his wise friend. “No Frederick, this one’s your carrot,” she said.

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

“But you made the choice and I’m sure it’s the bigger one of the two. I don’t know how you do it, but I guess you’re just smarter than me.” “Frederick, there’s no point in having wisdom if you’re not willing to share the benefits of it with others. You’re my friend and I want you to have this carrot. A smart rabbit with a full stomach but no friends isn’t really wise is she?” “I guess you’re right,” said Frederick with a full mouth, “As usual.” I wrote this story as a reminder that in our search for wisdom, we must also search for a way to assist those around us with what we’ve learned. The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus once said, “Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship.” Be wise, share what you’ve learned with others and help make the world a better place for those around you. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. - The Serenity Prayer (Reinhold Niebuhr)

Wisdom

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

5 Top Tips - MONEYWI$E COMMON Câ&#x201A;ŹNTS Elcho Stewart We sense, intuitively, that we should be money smart, yet many people have no clue where to begin or what to do. It is not because of a shortage or lack of information, either, since nowadays information comes at us from many different sources. But we need to exercise wisdom in what we do with that information. Here are five tips to begin the New Year with a winning attitude and wiser money management skills:

1. Life begins at the end of your 2. comfort zone, according to the late motivational leader Zig Ziglar. Therefore, in order to grow healthier, wealthier and wiser, we need to change our behaviors by taking the following steps: ••

Networking with those who are doing better, are in better jobs, are kinder, are open minded, and are more knowledgeable.

••

Emulating successful people. If you don’t have access to them, read about them, listen to their videos, and attend their seminars.

••

Embracing change. Be flexible - sleep/eat/rest/exercise/read more/less.

••

Examining our friendship circle. Cut loose the enablers – the ones who encourage our bad habits, such as spending more than we can afford, as well as the negative thinkers – the ones who put down every idea and anticipate the worst at all times. Working smarter by better managing our time and learning ways in which we can make our money work for us.

It would seem that the love of money is no longer the root of all evil. According to Pope Francis, inequality is. With that in mind, give yourself permission to love money and to want more of it unapologetically. It is worthy of our love because it is needed to secure the necessities of life and to help us take advantage of opportunities that might come along.

planning process: risk management, savings, accumulation and growth options, interest rates and the affects of higher or lower rates, budgeting, banking, credit score, investment risk tolerance (conservative, aggressive, or a mixture of both), personal taxation, and life and health insurance. ••

Check your source: It is easy to access financial information at the touch of a button from a smart phone or tablet; however, we still need to be discriminating with how much advice we take from the internet as well as those we get from friends and neighbors.

••

Watch the “Eagles:” We can gather a wealth of information from reading books, magazines, and opinion columns of proven business personalities. Success tips from Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, or Richard Branson, to name a few, are often relevant and inspirational.

••

Periodic Reviews: Too often we put plans in place with the assistance of our team of trusted professionals, but then we neglect to follow up with periodic reviews. Lawyers, tax

A little bit of knowledge really can become a dangerous thing, and most people have just enough knowledge about money management to be not good at it. Since money is needed in almost every aspect of our lives, there is a strong argument that money management really should be taught starting in elementary school. Failing that, it is incumbent on us to take the time to understand the financial

“A little bit of knowledge really can become a dangerous thing...”

Wisdom Issue 2016 INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN MAGAZINE

accountants, financial advisors, stockbrokers, and bankers are governed by licensing/regulatory bodies that hold them accountable, and they are more likely to be prudent with the advice they dispense. Get their assistance with setting up your financial plans based on your short, medium, and long range goals, which factor into different scenarios of what happens if you live, die, retire, or become seriously ill.

Unless we have the investment savvy of a Wall Street guru or business mogul, most of us really cannot work with other people’s money. The closest some will get to that concept is to carry a mortgage debt and/or enjoy the convenience of credit card spending. Nevertheless, it is still wise to reduce mortgage debt with periodic lump-sum payments and avoid the carrying charges on credit card balances. Fiscal wisdom is not innate; most of us have to learn how to network, strategize, and set goals. As we make resolutions for the New Year such as eating better, working smarter, gaining more family and leisure time, and making more money, we need to bear in mind that there is a correlation between the level and quality of effort we put into our financial planning and the desired result. Also, there is a wealth of information and individuals from whom we can learn, but we still have to exercise wisdom in whom we listen to and how we apply what we know in order to achieve our goals.

Elcho Stewart is an Independent Advisor in the financial sector specializing in individual and small business financial security planning. With 19-years experience, Elcho uses a common-sense approach to Key-man, partnership funding, critical illness, long term care, RRSPs, savings, education savings, and life insurance solutions for “…everyday people planning for the financial security of their families, businesses, communities, and countries.” Her natural thirst for knowledge and being guided by the Golden Rule contribute to Elcho’s high level of integrity, honesty, and loyalty to the customers she serves.

Ad spaces available. for more information, email us at advertise@theiwla.com