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Judaism
ASK THE RABBI
Looking for answers? Send your question to Rabbi@RabbiSchochet.com
VACCINE ALERT
Dear Rabbi
I very much appreciate your work in informing the community and in emphasising how important it is for people to receive the recommended vaccinations against Covid within your popular ‘Ask the Rabbi’ column.
Please might I clarify an important point. You discussed a reader who did not reveal at a Chanukah party that he was unvaccinated. You said that someone unvaccinated was no more likely to transmit infection. This is not the case. Being triple vaccinated, including having received the booster vaccine gives about 95% protection against the Delta variant and close to 75% protection against becoming infected with the Omicron variant of Covid-19. What you have not caught you cannot pass on. So if you compare someone who is unvaccinated with someone who is fully vaccinated and they have both been recently exposed to Covid, the unvaccinated person is far more likely to have caught Covid and to then be infectious and a risk to other people around them. Yours Sincerely,
Dr Jackie Lewis (co-chair of Salford Healthy Communities)
Dear Jackie
Thank you for writing and I hope you don’t mind me including your actual full title for impact purposes. Indeed yours was one of several letters received). Needless to say you are absolutely correct. I was coming at it from the perspective of fully vaccinated individuals with breakthrough infections have peak viral load similar to unvaccinated cases and can efficiently transmit infection in household settings, including to fully vaccinated contacts. But as you rightly point out, if vaccinated you are less likely to endure breakthrough infections which is key. Either way, if you are reading this and you are able to, make sure you get vaccinated. End of.
WHO CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN?
Dear Rabbi
You most probably know that Islam teaches Muslims worldwide that it was Ishmael that Abraham was willing to sacrifice and not Isaac. What is your take on this? Which is the true story? Why haven’t our leaders challenged what Islam teaches? Are you going to do anything it?
Melvyn
Dear Melvyn
The Quran tells the story of Abraham sacrificing his son, which Muslims believe to be Ishmael. But to be sure, there is no actual name of the son mentioned therein. Also, on the basis that the Torah significantly predates the Quran, I’ll stick with the original story which includes specific reference to Isaac and not the later version. Why do you feel there is a need to challenge Islamic teachings about this story, any more than Christian teachings or other teachings which run counter to fundamental Jewish beliefs. I do me and you do you. It is only when others may tread on our toes and look to ensnare Jews into their beliefs that a debunking exercise is needed. WHY WAIT TILL MARRIAGE?
Dear Rabbi
As a young Jewish girl of a non-religious background and with a lovely boyfriend I’d like to know what is wrong with having a more intimate relationship with my boyfriend if we are both of legal age.
Sabine
Dear Sabine
Judaism teaches that our life purpose is to makes this world a better place. That doesn’t simply mean a kinder place, rather drawing spiritual ambience and energy into our physical reality. That can be achieved through every act we commit, however trivial we might presume it to be. When you work and earn money then give some of that money to charity, you are not merely doing the mitzvah of charity. You are essentially elevating your whole work experience.
Similarly, when you take the hide of an animal and make phylacteries out of them, you’ve now elevated the animal for a higher spiritual purpose. And when you take wax, turn it into a candle which you light on the Friday night, once again you’ve elevated the material into something spiritual.
Obviously this means that all our actions should be committed within a suitable context. So, stealing a pound coin for example, and giving it to charity, doesn’t achieve the same thing. Indeed, rather than bringing more holiness into the world, one engenders negative energy.
The union between man and woman can be the most powerful manifestation of the fusion of body and spirit such that it is the only act where we are in effect almost G-d like, in that we have the very real ability to procreate. So when partners make a lifelong commitment to grow together, experience the depths of each other’s personalities, and perhaps even bring children into the world, their physical union is more than a fleeting passion. In essence, they are uniting spiritual worlds, utilising one of the most powerful tools that G-d has given humankind.
It follows therefore that the cavalier use of this power is a gross maltreatment of this awesome medium. Only after acknowledging the potential of a life-long bond (i.e. marriage), can a couple have the clarity it takes to truly grow together in a physical relationship. More often than not, premarital relations desensitise both partners, making it more difficult to access the heights offered by a deeper, more profound relationship. Studies have categorically proven that couples who engage in premarital physical intimacy are frequently plagued with uncertainties as to the essence of their real connection, making longterm commitments much more difficult.
Presently you are pursuing more physical gratification. If you looked honestly into your own soul you’ll come to realise that in essence you are looking for much more than just fleeting pleasure. You are seeking a deeper connection, or a love that transcends mere transient physical desires. Understanding this will, in the longer term, enable you to experience a more meaningful relationship and wait till marriage.
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Pirkei Avot
For Refuah Shalema for Mordechai Ben Chaya Sara Perek 3: Mishna 9
תַאְרִיּשׁ לָכּ ,רֵמוֹא אָסוֹדּ ןב אָניִנח יִבַּר וֹתָמְכָח ,וֹתָמְכָחְל תמדוֹק וֹאְטח תַאְרִיְל תמדוֹק וֹתָמְכָחשׁ לָכְו .תמיַּקְתִמ הָיָה אוּה .תמיַּקְתִמ וֹתָמְכָח ןיֵא ,וֹאְטח ,וֹתָמְכָחֵמ ןיִבּרְמ ויָשׂעַמּשׁ לָכּ ,רֵמוֹא הָבּרְמ וֹתָמְכָחשׁ לָכְו .תמיַּקְתִמ וֹתָמְכָח …ויָשׂעַמִּמ
Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa said: anyone whose fear of sin precedes his wisdom, his wisdom is enduring, but anyone whose wisdom precedes his fear of sin, his wisdom is not enduring. He [also] used to say: anyone whose deeds exceed his wisdom, his wisdom is enduring, but anyone whose wisdom exceeds his deeds, his wisdom is not enduring.
According to the Bartenura, when the Mishnah talks about the importance of ‘fear of sin preceding wisdom,’ it is a means to an end. By studying the Torah properly, I will learn to fear sin. The two go hand in hand.
Sadly, there are far too many people out there who are brilliant when it comes to wisdom and have very clever minds, yet their good deeds are not on the same level. There are many Rabbis and leading figures, much admired and respected in the community who in fact are not such righteous people themselves. If you do not have a basic fear of sin, then no matter how much Torah you may learn, it will not sink in properly to enable you to have a decent array of weapons against the Yetzer Harah. Rather, it is like building on quicksand; ultimately doomed to fail.
Make sure to have a solid foundation and you will never go wrong. Ultimately, Hashem will be the final judge. May we all merit to live a truly righteous lifestyle, Amen.
16 DECEMBER 2021
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Torah from Israel
Vayechi: Gracious But Honest
BY RABBI MOSHE TARAGIN
One of the most important and underrated traits of leadership is graciousness. Gracious people have been humbled by life and grasp the vulnerability of the human spirit. As life has exposed their own weaknesses, gracious people are more kind and considerate to others. They aren’t judgmental but accepting. They share their spirit freely with those in need. This generosity of spirit allows them to easily forgive. The strongest indicator of graciousness is forgiveness toward others.
We would expect graciousness from Yosef. He has been consistently humbled by life and at this stage he appreciates how fragile human experience can be. Expecting this graciousness, we assume that Yosef would amiably accept his brother’s apologies. After Ya’akov’s death, Yosef’s brothers hesitantly approach him, nervous that he will avenge their grievous crimes. No longer restrained by an aging father, Yosef is now free to retaliate for their past felony. The brothers are so terrified of possible reprisal that they even lie about their deceased father’s wishes. Putting words into Ya’akov’s mouth, they claim that their father had instructed Yosef against any possible revenge. Presumably, Yosef easily detects this transparent lie; had Ya’akov actually interfered in this messy situation he would have spoken directly with Yosef. This weak attempt at a lie merely demonstrates how desperate the anxious brothers are. Here is Yosef’s grand opportunity to rise above pettiness and vengeance and graciously forgive his brothers and embrace them. Yosef has everything to gain and nothing to lose. The entire world beckons to his whim. His position in Egypt is secure. He is clearly the new patriarch of the family. This should be an easy decision.
Strangely, Yosef doesn’t warmly embrace his brothers nor does he courteously accept their apology. Initially, he responds in a manner which is part reassuring and part threatening: “Am I in place of G-d ?”. One the one hand this phrase implies that he will not “take matters into his own hands” and he will not play the role of G-d. This certainly comforts his brothers. However, this phrase also implies that Yosef does possess the authority to mete out justice and punish their misdeeds. A more polite acceptance of their apology should not include off-handed references to his own authority – even the type of authority he doesn’t plan on wielding. The acceptance of an apology should not even allude to the potential of retribution.
Yosef’s next comments are even more perplexing: he reminds them of their malicious intentions: “Hashem has converted your cruelty into a favorable outcome, allowing me to support the entire world”. This second “line” accentuates their crime while highlighting Yosef’s phenomenal success. This is not the “textbook way” to graciously accept an apology. We would more sooner expect humility, welcoming language, and attempts to “play down” the insult. We would expect Yosef to minimize the crime rather than emphasize the pain. Given how desperate the brothers are, Yosef’s disguised comments seem insensitive. Ultimately, Yosef does assure them that he will continue to care for them and the scene ends with Yosef consoling his fearful brothers. However, Yosef’s initial response to their heartfelt apology doesn’t feel gracious.
Evidently, as important as graciousness may be, it isn’t the only value and isn’t the sole consideration when accepting an apology. Evidently, frank and candid communication is also valuable, and Yosef doesn’t withhold his true feelings, merely to be tactful and sensitive. A full embrace of his brother’s apology is definitely more sensitive in the short term, but may be disadvantageous in the long term. Whitewashing the crime may not be the best approach.
Apologies aren’t just an opportunity to express regret, they should also enable catharsis. People of moral conscience are weighted down by guilt and remorse. Without facing our guilt and rinsing our conscience, we can become emotionally overwhelmed. Apologies help us confront our misdeeds and move on from otherwise unbearable guilt.
Earlier in the story, as they stood accused by Yosef masquerading as an Egyptian king, the brothers already begun to trace their predicament to their horrific crime of kidnapping. This vital process of facing their guilt and “moving on”, can only be completed if they fully appreciate the suffering they inflicted upon Yosef. Lost in all the excitement of discovering Yosef and relocating to Egypt is the incredible suffering they caused. Thorough catharsis demands confronting the full impact of their conspiracy. Yosef is happy to accept their apology, but his candor also affords them an opportunity to process their sin. If their guilt remains unaddressed it will fester and create continued anxiety and emotional unrest. As much as they seek Yosef’s graciousness, they also deeply need his honesty.
In addition to aiding their catharsis, Yosef’s honesty is an initial step toward rebuilding their deeply fractured relationship. The trauma of his kidnapping as well as their living apart for twenty years, has ruptured communication between the brothers. Communication builds trust and trusts is the foundation of healthy relationships. It is heartbreaking but not surprising to see how distrustful the brothers have become. The midrash narrates a sorrowful story: after burying Ya’akov, Yosef returned to Shechem to revisit “the pit” and the scene of his abduction. Perhaps he wanted closure for his own trauma. To no one’s surprise, this innocent personal trip alarmed the brothers. Perhaps, they worried, Yosef was still angry and had returned to the scene of the crime to plot his revenge. Direct communication could easily have alleviated any suspicions, but sadly it doesn’t exist. Innocent personal decisions stoke treacherous conspiracy theories. Where there is no trust there is no relationship.
The first step toward rebuilding this relationship is honest and hard communication. It is imperative for Yosef to relay his insult. As we would say he must “get everything off of his chest “. Until he does, the anxious brothers will always wonder what deeper feelings he is harboring and trust will never develop. A gracious acceptance of their apology without articulating the deep hurt will leave many unanswered questions and will not build bridges of communication. For the wound to heal, Yosef must rip off the band-aid. It may be painful, but this is the only way the wounds can begin to heal. The scene ends with Yosef “speaking to their hearts” (Vayidaber al libam) as the lines of communication have been restored. Trust can now be rebuilt and the relationship rehabilitated.
Life is complex and places us into complicated interpersonal situations. Graciousness demands that we exhibit mercy, humility and generosity of spirit toward those who insult or harm us. However, sometimes, along with our graciousness, we do better by also sharing our honesty and our authentic feelings, rather than concealing our hurt with cordiality and geniality.
The writer is a rabbi at Yeshivat Har Etzion/Gush, a hesder yeshiva. He has smicha and a BA in computer science from Yeshiva University as well as a masters degree in English literature from the City University of New York.
Weekly Dvar Torah
FROM ERETZ YISRAEL
Bones and Brotherhood
BY RABBANIT SHANI TARAGIN
Throughout Sefer Bereishit, the recurring phrase of “[Ve’]Eleh Toldot” has appeared eleven times, depicting the development from universal to particular selection of those that will call out in the name of G-d and merit divine covenant. In every generation since Noach, the “toldot” introduce the child(ren) rejected, followed by those selected to perpetuate the promises of Land and nation. Even the stories of Yaakov began with “These are the toldot (generations) of Ya’akov, Yosef,” implying selection of one child as primary progeny, which led to resentment, jealousy, and suggested fratricide.
After twenty-two years of separation, Yosef and his brothers are reunited, and Ya’akov descends to Egypt with his entire family. He is assured by G-d that his children will become a great nation and the motif and cycle of “toldot” selection finally ends with the words “Ve’Eleh Shemot” – “And these are the names of the children of Israel, who came into Egypt, Ya’akov and his sons” (Bereishit 46:8) as they are all selected to continue the legacy of their patriarchs. This is underscored at the beginning of Sefer “Shemot” wherein we learn once more of the selection of all the children of Ya’akov/Yisrael as the forebearers of the nation of Israel.
It is therefore surprising that Sefer Bereishit does not end after the genealogical list of Ya’akov’s descendants in chapter 46 – a perfect segue to the beginning of Sefer Shemot! The four ensuing chapters seem somewhat superfluous after the series of selections has finally closed. Yet, upon further examination of these chapters, we notice that there is still a schism between Yosef and his brothers. Yosef is the viceroy in charge of Egypt’s economy and the survival of his brothers. Parashat Vayechi opens with Ya’akov requesting an oath from Yosef to supervise his burial in Me’arat Hamachpelah, albeit it will be commanded to all his sons one chapter later! Similarly, Ya’akov blesses Yosef through his children and grants him double tribes and territory as his firstborn to Rachel, followed by including him again in the blessings accorded to each of his sons. Lastly, the Torah records a double burial ceremony for Ya’akov Avinu – one conducted by Yosef and the Egyptian court, followed by the personal burial performed by the brothers. This schism between Yosef and his brothers is most evident in one of the final scenes of the sefer. After Yaakov dies the brothers approach Yosef with fear that he will now seek revenge for their cruel behavior towards him years earlier. Although the pattern of selection may have ended from a Divine perspective, the sefer cannot conclude while there is still a rift between the children of Ya’akov.
Yosef will bring an end to this family feud. He assures his brothers that there is no need to fear because his position of power has been divinely supervised to insure the survival of his brothers and their families during the years of famine and thereafter. He may be in charge now, but he turns to them with a request for the future – “I will die, but G-d will surely remember you, and bring you up out of this land unto the land which He swore to Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Ya’akov” (50:24). Yosef knows that his brothers are more connected to the land as he was exiled at a young age. He therefore requests an oath from them to assure burial of his bones in the land of his forefathers. The mutual dependency of Yosef and his brothers one on the other for the present and the future creates the brotherhood and unity necessary for the true birth of the nation of Israel.
Today as well we sense the symbiotic relationship expressed in last week’s haftara by the prophet of exile, Yechezkel (ch.37). Tribes are dispersed, and our nation may be divided between Tzion and the Diaspora, but the dependency of one community on the other assures ultimate return to the Land as a united nation – wherein Yosef and Yehudah, “Yosef and his brothers” may finally become forged as one “Bnei Yisrael”.
Rabbanit Shani Taragin is educational director of World Mizrachi and teaches at Matan and other educational institutions in Israel. She is a member of Mizrachi’s Speakers Bureau (www.mizrachi.org/speakers).
Vayechi Sidra Summary
3RD ALIYA (SHLISHI) – 48:17-22
Yosef tries to switch Yaakov’s hands back but Yaakov resists. He tells Yosef that Menashe will be great, but Ephraim will be greater still. Yaakov tells Yosef that G-d will eventually bring the people back to Cana’an. “Gather yourselves and listen, O sons of Yaakov, and listen to Israel your father”
(Bereishit 49:2)
1ST ALIYA (KOHEN) – BEREISHIT 47:28-48:9
Yaakov has been in Egypt for 17 years and is 147 years old. Knowing that he will soon die, he asks Yosef to take an oath to bury him in Cana’an (later Israel) in Me’arat Hamachpela (the Cave of the Patriarchs) where his forefathers are buried. Yosef promises. Yaakov becomes ill and Yosef visits him, together with sons Ephraim and Menashe. Yaakov tells Yosef that these two grandsons will be like the other tribes and will receive their own portion of the Land.
2ND ALIYA (LEVI) – 48:10-16
Yaakov’s sight is failing. Yosef places his younger son Ephraim to Yaakov’s left and his older son Menashe to Yaakov’s right. However, Yaakov crosses his arms, putting his right hand on Ephraim’s head and his left hand on Menashe’s head. He blesses them with his hands in this position.
4TH ALIYA (REVI’I) – 49:1-18
Yaakov gathers together his sons to deliver a final message to them. Following Rashi’s commentary: Reuven is criticised for behaving impulsively; Shimon and Levi are criticised for aggression; Yehuda is given a leadership role; Zevulun will be successful as a sea merchant; Yissachar will bear the ‘yoke’ of Torah learning and Dan will be as great as Yehuda.
Point to Consider: Why did Yaakov pray for G-d’s help whilst blessing Dan? (see Rashi to 49:18)
5TH ALIYA (CHAMISHI) – 49:19-27
The tribe of Gad’s battalions will fight wars successfully. Asher will receive a fertile portion of land and prosper, as will Naftali. Yaakov praises Yosef for overcoming his many challenges. 6TH ALIYA (SHISHI) – 49:28-50:20
Yaakov hints that King Shaul (Saul), Mordechai and Esther will descend from Binyamin. Yaakov reiterates his burial instructions to his children and then dies. Yosef falls on his dead father in tears. Yosef instructs doctors to embalm Yaakov. This process takes 40 days, followed by 30 days of the Egyptians mourning Yaakov’s death (Rashi). Yosef asks for permission from Pharaoh to bury his father in Cana’an. Pharaoh grants permission and sends a large entourage to accompany Yosef and his relatives. The brothers observe seven days of mourning (shiva). Yaakov’s sons bury him in Me’arat Hamachpela. Yosef reassures his anxious brothers that he is still at peace with them. 7TH ALIYA (SHEVI’I) – 50:21-26
Yosef commits to providing food for his brothers and their families. He makes them take an oath to take his bones out of Egypt when the nation eventually leaves. Yosef dies, aged 110.
Yosef is embalmed and placed in a coffin. This concludes the Book of Bereishit.
HAFTARAH
King David, about to die, entreats his son and successor Shlomo (Solomon) to stay faithful to the ways of the Torah.
David’s final request is for Shlomo to make sure to punish Yoav and Shimi Ben Gera for their rebellious behaviour.
16 DECEMBER 2021
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Vayechi: Why sing Hamalach?
BY GAVRIEL COHN
Why do parents sing “Hamalach” to their children? What is this prayer about an angel anyway? The beginning of this week’s sedra is famous yet also puzzling. Yaakov is old, an aging grandfather. He has a whole clan of children and a divine mission for them to fulfil, to settle the Land of Israel. He should be focusing on their future, the future of his progeny. Yet instead he summons Yosef and makes him swear that he, Yaakov, “will be laid to rest with his forefathers.” Then only afterwards, “it came to pass that someone said to Yosef, ‘Behold, your father is ill.’ So, Yosef took his two sons with him, Menashe and Ephraim” and went to see Yaakov, who blessed them with the now famous refrain:
“G-d, before Whom my fathers, Avraham and Yitzchak, walked, G-d Who sustained me as long as I am alive, until this day, may the angel who redeemed me from all harm bless the youths, and may they be called by my name and the name of my fathers, Avraham and Yitzchak, and may they multiply abundantly like fish, in the midst of the Land.”
Why does Yaakov first arrange that he be buried with his forefathers, and only later think to bless his grandchildren for their future? Surely, Yaakov should want to bless his grandchildren first, and only then take care of his burial plans? Yaakov should be focused on the future of the Jewish People. Even more troublingly, what’s all this about angels? Who is this “angel who redeemed” Yaakov “from all harm?” Why does Yaakov invoke an angel at all? Whilst, obviously, Yaakov was praying to G-d, isn’t it best to leave any mention of angels out of one’s prayer (admittedly though, this is a disputed issue in Jewish Thought)?
In truth, Yaakov was entirely focused on the future of his People, educating and encouraging his descendants, but he did so in a most Jewish way, through being immersed in his past.
Yosef’s sons, Ephraim and Menashe, had been raised in the royal courts of Egypt, surrounded by wealth and Egyptian culture, living in the present. Yaakov knew that if he wanted his grandchildren to care about their peculiar past and heritage and their land, then he had too as well. Only by making his son promise that he be laid to rest with his grandfather and great-grandfather in Canaan, would he impress upon his son and his grandchildren to do the same: to look back to him, Yaakov, their zeide, and care about their Jewish roots and land; to ‘carry the names of their righteous ancestors’ and to fulfil G-d’s plan of settling Canaan, populating it “like fish.”
Yet what’s all this about angels?
Yaakov could only pass on what was a part of him, his own personal religious experiences. Since his chaotic, hectic youth, Yaakov had encountered angels (for now, let’s leave aside exactly what angels are, be they prophetic insights and visions or physical, heavenly messengers,
embodied and cast upon Earth). Angels were almost Yaakov’s interface with the Divine, so to speak, constituting a great part of his religious world and rescuing him from crisis:
“And Yaakov dreamed, and behold, a ladder set up on the ground and its top reached to heaven; angels of G-d were ascending and descending upon it. G-d was standing over him, and He said, ‘I am the Lord, the G-d of Avraham your father, and the G-d of Yitzchak; the land upon which you are lying to you I will give it and to your seed… I am with you, and I will guard you wherever you go, and I will restore you to this land, for I will not forsake you until I have done what I have spoken concerning you.”
“Yaakov went on his way, and angels of G-d met him. Yaakov said when he saw them, ‘This is the camp of G-d,’ and he named the place Machanayim.”
“And Yaakov was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn… And Yaakov named the place Peniel, for he said, ‘I saw an angel face to face, and my soul was saved.’”
So, to make his young, far more Egyptian grandsons appreciate the heritage of their ancestors and the land they were to populate, Yaakov had to show interest in it, focusing on the past too and request to be buried there, with his forefathers. Furthermore, Yaakov had to wish them something genuine, something that he himself had experienced. Thus, after kissing and hugging his grandchildren, he implored that they too be blessed by “the angel that saved him from harm” back when he was young. That is perhaps why Yaakov’s prayer, so personal and caught up in the past, full of action and example, is sung to one’s children at night. Chazak Chazak ve’Nitchazek!
Vayechi
RABBI DR RAYMOND APPLE
TO LIFE! LECHAYYIM!
The sidra is called Vayyechi, “And he lived”. It describes the final stage of Jacob’s life when he lived in Egypt.
One could say that only now, as an old man with his struggles behind him, did Jacob really live. But there is more to it than that.
Some Hebrew words never come in the singular. One of them is Chayyim – “Life”, which ends with the plural im. Life is a plurality of moments, experiences, failures and successes.
No two people live precisely the same life. No two people live as carbon copies of one another. There are many lives, as many as there are human beings. My life is a plurality; every life is.
So when the Torah says “And Jacob lived”, it is not just referring to one moment but to many.
DID JACOB CHANGE HIS MIND?
Jacob told his family to gather around his death bed and he would reveal to them “the end of days” (Gen. 49:1). But the Divine Presence prevented him from carrying out his plan.
We are curious to know why Jacob became unable to say what he had intended.
The rabbis say that the gift of prophecy was removed from him (Talmud Pesachim 56a). Does this mean that what departed from him was not so much the ability to prophesy as the knowledge of the future?
This is one of the ideas considered by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in his commentaries. Maybe there was some defect in Jacob that had disqualified him from clear thinking and futuristic knowledge.
A possibility is that it would not have been good for either the family or mankind – or even Jacob himself – to know precisely what the future would bring.
If “the end of days” would take a particular shape and form and arrive at a specified moment, we might think we no longer needed to work for it.
REUBEN – BIRTHRIGHT, ROYALTY & PRIESTHOOD
The end of Sefer B’reshit sees Jacob pondering on and depicting each of his children.
In the Torah text, Reuben is called “my firstborn (bechori), my strength (kochi), the first of my power (s’eit)”.
The Targum Onkelos says that Jacob expected that Reuben would have been endowed with the birthright, the priesthood and royalty, but these privileges were lost because Reuben had not behaved properly.
Rashi thinks the priesthood is suggested by the word s’eit (literally “raising”) which alludes to raising one’s hands in the priestly blessing, and “strength” denotes royalty. What about the birthright? Rashi does not give an explanation.
Ibn Ezra seems to think that the idea of the firstborn underlies all the leadership roles which Jacob refers to. In Biblical culture and elsewhere in history, being the firstborn imports a special status in family and public life. It is not easy for the firstborn or for parents who are not yet experienced enough to know how to handle their first child.
KINDLY & TRULY
Jacob asks his family to act with kindness and truth (chessed ve’emet) towards him and not bury him in Egypt. (Gen. 47:29).
The sages found the phrase chessed ve’emet very stimulating. The two words appear together so often that they must have an inbuilt link.
Chessed does not always go with emet; if you act with chessed you sometimes contradict emet – and vice versa.
Since chessed comes first we have to presume it is the primary word and the secondary word qualifies it. Hence the Torah puts into Jacob’s mouth the request that the family act towards him with true kindness. True kindness is completely unselfish.
Often one does a kindly deed because – as the Pir’kei Avot tell us (4:2) – mitzvah goreret mitzvah, one good deed brings another in its train. If I do you a favour, you are likely to reciprocate and do me a favour in return.
True kindness is where I do the good deed with no chance of reward.
The best example is acting kindly towards the dead, since they cannot return the favour.
Jacob is asking for that kind of chessed since he is on his death-bed and will soon be unable to do anything for anyone else.
A Jewish burial society is sometimes called Chevra Chessed Shel Emet, “A society dedicated to true kindness”.
Gav is an informal educator at Immanuel College, teaching Kodesh to Sixth Formers.
Rabbi Raymond Apple was for many years Australia’s highest profile rabbi and the leading spokesman on Judaism. After serving congregations in London, Rabbi Apple was chief minister of the Great Synagogue, Sydney, for 32 years. He also held many public roles, particularly in the fields of chaplaincy, interfaith dialogue and Freemasonry, and is the recipient of several national and civic honours. Now retired, he lives in Jerusalem and blogs at http://www.oztorah.com
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16 DECEMBER 2021
Positive surroundings and Faith in Hashem
BY RABBI SHMUEL REICHMAN
Fear immobilizes us, paralyzes us, and stops of us from achieving our greatness. Yet, on the other side of every fear is the person we want to become. For the past few weeks, I’ve been forced to overcome many of the fears that come with being a new parent, such as endless diaper changes, sleepless nights and worry if I’m taking proper care of our little angel. The ideas in this article came to life and helped me turn the challenges of parenthood into beautiful moments of growth, so I’m really looking forward to sharing them with you.
In our previous Self-Mastery article, we continued developing strategies for overcoming our inner fears so that we can fully unlock our potential and achieve the extraordinary. In this article, we will finish this topic and explore two of the most important strategies for overcoming fear.
Our inner voice, the voice inside our head, is a powerful part of our inner identity and self. It is also one of the most malleable aspects of ourselves. When we look in the mirror, what do we see? Do we see greatness? When we’re alone, how do we talk to ourselves? Do we have a positive, inspiring, and motivating self-talk, or do we criticize and put ourselves down? So much of our identity and inner world is influenced by our surroundings. While we each have the ability to determine our inner world, mold and craft our identity, and shape our inner experience, we are also susceptible to the impact of the people in our lives. Our friends, colleagues, and family can shape the way we relate and speak to ourselves.
Just as negativity from the people surrounding us can lead us to believe we are incapable, causing us to give up on our dreams, so too, positivity from the people around us can inspire us to strive for our greatness. Surrounding ourselves with friends, family members, and teachers who help feed us positivity, encouragement, and optimism can help us overcome our fears, doubts, and negative self-perceptions. We need to find like-minded people, those who share or at least understand our passion, our values, and our goals.
Of course, the people who understand and support us may sometimes point out where we are falling short and where we can improve, but constructive feedback is critical to our growth and this type of help should be embraced as well. Having supportive people around you does not mean that they always tell you you’re perfect, but that they want to raise you to your highest level and inspire you to be your best.
This is also the power and importance of reading and listening to positive, inspiring, and empowering messages every single day. Just like your body needs healthy food for nutrition, your inner self needs healthy and positive messaging for nutrition, to keep it fueled. This is also one of the most important roles of a life-coach. When I work one-on-one with clients as a high-performance coach or life coach, in addition to helping them create concrete plans for achieving their goals and holding
them accountable, I make sure to motivate and inspire them. The key is to ensure that they stay passionate and excited about their growth and have the confidence and positive attitude to strive after achieving their goals. creating a mental cage that holds us back from our greatness. A young boy once went to the circus and was astonished when he saw a giant elephant tethered to the ground by a thin rope. Curious, he walked over to the elephant trainer and asked: “How are you holding down such a huge elephant with such a tiny rope? The rope doesn’t look very strong. This elephant could break down a brick wall, why doesn’t he break free of this tiny rope?” The trainer smiled and explained: “When this elephant was a baby, weighing just 250 pounds, we tied it up with this same rope. Every day he tried to break free, but he couldn’t manage to do it. He tried and tried, but to no avail. After a few months, he finally gave up, convinced that it was impossible to escape. Now, he weighs two thousand pounds, and is strong enough to easily break free of these ropes. However, in his mind, he is still chained by an unbreakable rope, so he doesn’t even try to escape.”
What happens when the elephant discovers that the rope isn’t strong enough
to hold him down? A fire once broke out in the circus, and during the ensuing chaos, the circus tent collapsed. When the dust settled, the trainers began searching for the elephant. To their amazement, they couldn’t find the elephant anywhere. Finally, a few hours later, they found him wandering in the nearby forest. During the fire, the elephant had been overcome with fear and adrenaline; in his panic, he easily broke free of his ropes. When they tied him down again, the elephant escaped just moments later. They tried again, but the elephant broke loose once more. It was clear that once the elephant realized that the ropes couldn’t hold him, he wouldn’t be held back by these “chains” any longer. While at one point he thought these ropes controlled him, he now realized that the only one holding him back was himself! The trainers had no choice; they had to get a new elephant for the circus.
Does this idea ring true for you? How often do we create mental cages of our own? How often do we allow other people’s opinions of us to become our reality, to define what we can or cannot do? Sometimes it’s a friend’s or loved one’s voice that rings in our head. But worst of all, it’s usually our own inner voice that is the cause of our self-doubt. We convince ourselves that “we can’t”; we’re not smart enough, good-looking enough, or funny enough. We’re too old or too young, too short or too tall. But here’s the secret: we are the only ones who hold the key to our mental cages, because we created the lock. Opening the lock is simple, it requires only that we make a new decision; that we change our identity; that we believe it is possible. History is being read, but it’s also being written by people with courage and imagination. We need to imagine a greater future, a greater version of ourselves. We need to close our eyes and picture an ideal future, then open our eyes and make that our reality. There truly are no limits; when we are in touch with our best and highest selves, and connected to Hashem, the Source of all self, anything is possible. When we live on a higher plane, believing that Hashem is guiding us at every stage of our journey, we’ll be able to find the confidence, drive, and passion to strive for greatness.
7- FAITH IN HASHEM
The greatest source of confidence for confronting our fears is the understanding that we are connected to something infinitely beyond ourselves, the Source of everything: Hashem. The underlying nature of conquering fear is the journey of walking into the unknown, the willingness to live by faith, not only by certainty. While we can develop a level of certainty through mastery, at the end of the day, true greatness requires relying on Hashem as we embark on the vulnerable journey outside of our comfort zone, into the unknown. When we don’t have faith in Hashem, we remain shackled by fear, unwilling to step outside of our comfort zone, into the unknown. When we understand that the challenges we face in life are sent to us by Hashem in order to help us actualize our potential, and that Hashem never gives us a challenge that we can’t overcome, we will have the confidence to confront our fears and journey towards our greatness.
Often, we impose limits on ourselves, CONCLUSION
It’s time to stand up, gather our inner strength, and put an end to the reign of fear. First, spend some time writing down all of your fears; acknowledge everything that is holding you back. Once you’ve finished making this list, write down exactly how you are going to overcome each of these fears. Go through the various approaches we developed, and choose at least one approach for each of your fears. And remember, most fears are not real; they exist only in your mind. Just as the power of fear resides within you, so does the power to overcome it. And with the help of Hashem, we can not only overcome our fears, but also recognize that in the process of overcoming our fears, we find our true greatness.
If you enjoyed this article and want more, then visit my website (ShmuelReichman.com) and learn more about Self-Mastery Academy, my online course. Join our vibrant community of 100’s of people striving to become their greatest selves.
Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is an author, educator, speaker, and coach who has lectured internationally on topics of Torah thought, Jewish medical ethics, psychology, and leadership. He is the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy, the transformative online self-development course based on the principles of high-performance psychology and Torah. After obtaining his Bachelors degree from Yeshiva University, he received Semikha from RIETS, a Masters degree in Jewish Education from Azrieli, and a Masters degree in Jewish Thought from Revel. He then spent a year studying at Harvard as an Ivy Plus Exchange Scholar. He is currently pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago. To find more inspirational content from Rabbi Reichman, to contact him, or to learn more about Self-Mastery Academy, visit his website: ShmuelReichman.com
16 DECEMBER 2021
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A father’s blessing - Vayechi
BY RABBI YITZCHOK KATZ
It is customary to bless our sons every Friday night with the blessing that they should grow up to be like Efraim and Menashe. This is a tradition set by our none other than our forefather Yaakov, as related in this week’s sedra.
What is perplexing about this, is why would Yaakov Avinu fix the blessing with Efraim and Menashe who were his grandchildren, surly a blessing to be like one of his own children is more fitting?
There is a well-known story about a prominent Rabbi who was being accompanied by his grandson on a plane ride. The grandson spent the entire flight fussing over his beloved grandfather, asking if he needed anything or if there is anything he could do to enhance his comfort.
Observing all this was a non-Jewish individual who was simply dumbfounded at this sight, to him something extraordinary. After a while, the gentile plucked up the courage and asked the Rabbi, “How is it that your grandson is caring for you with the greatest of honour, my grandchildren are barley interested in me?”
To this the Rabbi answered wisely, “You see my friend, in our religion we believe that the Torah was given to our ancestors at mount Sinai, which means I am closer to this auspicious time in our history than my grandson is, hence his respect for those his senior. You however, believe that man evolved from apes that make you closer to them than your grandson is!”
It is inevitable that as the generations go on they fall to lower levels than that of previous generations. Efraim and Menashe however were an exception. Although they were in fact grandsons of Yaakov Avinu, they retained the level of the older generation despite being raised in the immoral land of Mitzraim. Yaakov Avinu himself declares this by saying that to him they are just like Reuven and Shimon his own sons.
This explains beautify why we bless our sons to become like Efraim and Menashe. Every father wants the best for his children, and what better blessing is there than that one’s children retain the level of the generation of their parents – just like Efraim and Menashe.
Another fascinating aspect the episode of these blessings is that Yaakov Avinu crossed his arms, thereby placing his stronger right arm on Efraim who was younger, and his weaker left on Menashe the firstborn. When their father Yosef tries to intervene and correct his father, Yaakov responds that he intentionally made the switch. He explains that although Menashe will prosper, the younger Efraim will become greater.
This reveals a truly amazing concept. Blessings help to bring out the potential of a person, not to recreate them anew. If Efraim has the potential to become greater than his brother, not even a blessing from Yaakov Avinu can change that.
Incredibly, Menashe hears all this and remains quiet and contempt with the fact that greatness is being described of his younger brother; he understands that the best a person can be is the best version of oneself – no one else.
This too is the intent of our blessing; that our children grow up to be the best version of their personal potential – just like Efraim and Menashe.
Rabbi Yitzchok Katz was raised in London, now lives in Leeds and is a member of The Leeds Kollel. He is involved in many projects that are having a positive impact on the Jewish community.
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