7 minute read
Opinion
Picking up the pieces
The Tyranny of the Echo Chamber
OPINION PIECE BY YAAKOV BARR
It is a story that makes anyone recoil in horror. A well-known Jewish children’s author and therapist is accused of committing serial abuse of the worst kind and then takes his own life. There are more questions than answers. How was this allowed to happen? What stopped the innocent victims from speaking up earlier? How do we discuss the matter with our children, and do we allow them to read his best-selling books?
I cannot profess to have all the answers but the fact that this newspaper is printing this article and we can discuss these disturbing issues already means we are moving forward in a positive way. For too long abuse has been denied and hushed up. Victims have been intimidated and been too scared to speak out. The more that we, as a community, are willing to confront the issues, the more we encourage those suffering at the hands of others to find the courage and strength to reach out and ask for help.
That is why we set up Jteen, the anonymous and confidential text helpline for teenagers. Teens can feel empowered to share whatever may be affecting them, from the serious threats to life, abuse, bullying, anxiety or problematic relationships to less life altering issues and concerns as well. It does not matter how big or small the worries are, our children need to feel that they can speak out and that as adults we are listening loud and clear in a non-judgmental manner. Unfortunately, children are often given the opposite message. They are told to smile and pretend, to maintain either a personal reputation or a family name, whilst continuing to torture themselves with pain and guilt.
As parents, we also need to feel confident that our children are safe when they interact with a therapist or counselor. There are too many so-called “professionals” claiming to be experts who are not registered or accredited with any organisation. Every therapist should also be insured, and DBS checked. Vulnerable groups of people need to be protected and DBS checks assist in ensuring that the clinicians who are not suitable or safe are not allowed to work with these groups. Every professional working in mental health should receive regular supervision and personally I believe that work should only be done within a therapy clinic/office rather than a private home.
Our children may at best be confused or at worst disillusioned that another person, who they have looked up to has now let them down so spectacularly. Unfortunately it may not be the first time that children have encountered a person whom they thought was genuine and real, only to be later exposed as corrupt and fake. If our children can speak openly about it to us, then we are being parents in every sense of the word. We can demonstrate to them the importance of validating a person’s feelings. We may not always have the answers, but we have to allow them to ask the questions, to process and to heal. We tell our children that we are always there for them to talk about whatever is troubling them.
At the same time we should help our children and ourselves by not devaluing everything that is good about our communities, our Rabbonim and our communal institutions, because of those who never deserved to be members in the first place. We have to continue to trust, because without trust we cannot form relationships and without relationships what do we have?
But as I take the books off my shelves, I think of the victims and the inevitable repercussions, the bitterness and the anger. We simply cannot allow our children to read these books because otherwise what kind of message are we giving to my children? We may not know all the facts of this particular case, but we know that we want our children to be surrounded by role models, authenticity and truth. I also hope and pray that we can learn something from what has happened; that as a community we break stigmas and provide a voice and a safe haven for those who cannot speak for themselves. That we stand up for those who suffer silently every day and every second. If we can do that, then perhaps we can ensure that these terrible events never have to happen again.
Yaakov Barr is an accredited psychotherapist, clinical supervisor and founder of Jteen. The Jteen text helpline is completely anonymous and confidential and is open for teens from the ages of 11-20 every night from 6pm-12. The number to text is 07860 058 823. For further information go to www. jteensupport.org
OPINION PIECE BY ROBERT FESTENSTEIN
The House of Commons Library in September 2021 produced a document named ‘Asylum Statistics’. This document as the name suggests, is a statistical analysis of those seeking asylum and breaks down the figures into the numbers awaiting decisions, trends as to where asylum seekers settle and their origin. It tracks over time the source of people seeking asylum, with Afghanistan, Iraq and Somalia being highest in 2001. By 2017 these had changed to Syria, Iran and Eritrea.
According to the document in 2020, the countries from which the largest number of asylum applicants came to the UK were Iran (3,847), Albania (2,784), Eritrea (2,496), Iraq (2,304), Sudan (2,040) and Syria (1,479). It is an uncomfortable fact that whilst many of these applicants are in genuine fear of their lives, they also hold views which are contrary to the accepted norms in the UK, including misogyny, homophobia and of course, anti-Semitism.
It is not clear whether Samuel Hayek (chair of the JNF) had these figures in mind when he gave his interview to the Jerusalem Post in December last year. It is clear though that his comments concerning Muslim immigrants have created a storm of protest, including demands for the JNF to be ostracised until Mr Hayek is removed as chair. Declarations that Mr Hayek is an islamaphobe and a bigot are gathering pace in what appears to be an unstoppable avalanche of outrage and horror.
What the real horror here is the wholesale abandonment of reason. Decisions on whether people are racist or not in the UK are not determined by way of discussion or reason, they are made by shrill voices on social media in modern style campaigns reminiscent of the Salem Witch Trials. The Jewish community sadly, is no different. Leader after communal leader have declared Mr Hayek as racist without even thinking about what might lie behind his comments.
Mr Hayek might be wrong about the UK Jewish Community having no future, though what is becoming obvious is that it is becoming more and more polarised, with the very orthodox at one end, and the secular at the other. The ‘middle of road Jew’ who went to Shul on Shabbat morning and then football in the afternoon is no longer typical. We moving towards an all or nothing existence, and there is certainly merit in discussion on this, not outright dismissal.
As for the comments concerning Muslim immigration, the issues are more nuanced that claimed by the witch hunters. Claudia Mendoza (joint CEO of the Jewish Leadership Council) in her article in the Jewish Chronicle in November of last year said: Not wanting to recognise that victims can be perpetrators often inhibits Jews from calling out antisemitism from those who are also victims themselves. This is especially problematic when antisemitism comes from within Muslim communities.
There it is. Clearly laid out. The inhibition referred to has grown to a complete bar and the shutters have come down on any discussion in relation to Muslim anti-Semitism. The Witch hunter’s actions bear this out in their crude interpretation of Mr Hayek’s comments and their utter refusal to even contemplate that there is a problem with another UK minority. Censorship and cancelling people is neither democratic nor a reflection of good leadership. Some subjects are difficult to navigate, and the true mark of a leader is to recognise this. In the current hysterical climate generated by Mr Hayek’s comments, we are a long way from even accepting a discussion is necessary. Screaming ‘racist’ from the roof tops is not going to make this issue go away, it is just going to make it more difficult to deal with.
Robert Festenstein is a practising solicitor and has been the principal of his Salford based firm for over 20 years. He has fought BDS motions to the Court of Appeal and is President of the Zionist Central Council in Manchester which serves to protect and defend the democratic State of Israel.
