Judaism

ASK THE RABBI

Looking for answers? Send your question to Rabbi@RabbiSchochet.com

JUDAISM IN A NUTSHELL

Dear rabbi

Is it possible to summarise the basic principles of Judaism in a few memorable lines?

Isam

Dear Isam

I can do it in one: “Don’t do unto others what you would not have done unto yourself.” (The great sage, Hillel, taught me that!). Essentially the principle of “love your fellow as yourself.” If you can get that right, then you’ll have the right approach towards people, towards G-d and towards the world around you. That’s all you need.

BURIAL RIGHTS

Dear Rabbi,

I was a widower and remarried a wonderful lady recently. Is there any halachic ruling as to whether or not I can be buried with my first wife when I die?

George

Dear George

Mazal Tov to you! It’s wonderful when one is able to rediscover happiness in life. It is also perfectly understandable that the ‘ultimate attachment’ remains to one’s original life partner, and as such wants to be buried next to her. Jewish law certainly has no problem with this, and I know it is practised in many orthodox circles of similar circumstance. I suppose the only concern is ensuring that it doesn’t create issues between you and your present wife and also to ensure that your wishes will be properly implemented in due course. But here’s hoping that “due course” won’t be for many years. In the meantime, wishing you a bliss filled future of only happiness ahead.

I REGRET IT

Dear Rabbi

I became frum several years ago because I wanted to lead a moral, upstanding life. Unfortunately, during these past few years, and through my line of work, I have encountered a lot of unethical behaviour amongst some elements of the Jewish community. I discussed this with my Rabbis and mentors who said things like, “don’t judge Judaism by the Jews,” etc. I don’t find that an adequate response and to be frank I am starting to regret having become frum. I would be grateful for your guidance and advice.

James

Dear James

I am not going to respond in respect to the unethical behaviour of others. I don’t know the details and it is not for me to judge. But let’s talk about why you became frum? Did you do it because you liked the people or because you liked the faith? You obviously had a genuine sense of conviction which led you down the path you chose. That’s the beginning and end of it. It’s between you and G-d. No one else has any business featuring in the equation of your convictions. If they do, they it is not genuine conviction.

Are there bad apples in every bushel? Regrettably so. Are you the one to judge which apples are really good and which ones are bad? No. The bruises you see on the apples are external and you’re making your judgement call on that basis. Either way, if you truly love apples, then you don’t throw away the whole bushel on account of a select few. Frankly, even if the whole bushel was bad, you don’t give up on your love for apples. You simply go find a better bushel, or pluck them from the tree yourself.

EMBRACING THE ARGUMENT

Dear Rabbi

In a recent column you wrote, “Why would you want to avoid arguments? It would imply no passion in your marriage!” Are you serious?

Ann

Dear Ann

Yes.

ARE ALL FAITHS EQUAL?

Dear Rabbi

My best friend is a devout Christian. One of the many things we have in common is our commitment for our respective religions. Faith is faith and the way we approach our lives is very similar even though we pray to different G-ds.

That’s where my curiosity begins. If she is praying to her version of G-d then who is answering her prayers? As a Jew who only believes in Hashem, I wonder if it is Hashem who hears all prayer or do prayers to the wrong G-d go unanswered?

Natalia

Dear Natalia

Great question! And this is where Judaism will differ fundamentally from other faiths. In the view of other religions, the straight up answer would be, “if you’re not praying to the right one, you won’t get a result.” Judaism’s take on prayer is very different:

The Hebrew word for prayer, tefillah, means “self-judgment” and “introspection.” Prayer is meant to be an introspective process. The reason why we pray is not always to change what G-d had intended for us, but for us to get a better picture of true reality. We might enter the prayers thinking about all that we need and want, but we are meant to finish the prayers with a new realization of all that G-d does for us and how little we may actually deserve.

A person who experiences prayer this way, as it is intended to be experienced, will finish off prayers as a very different person than they began. The person who began the prayers (as a selfish, self-oriented individual) might not have really deserved what they were asking for, but the new person who concluded the prayers (as a thankful, grateful and more spiritual being) might now deserve it. In this way our prayers are actually answered, because we change in the process, and thus what we need or want will be granted – regardless of whom we are talking to.

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Pirkei Avot

In Memory of Jacqueline Curzon A’H

.הָרוֹתַּבּ קֹסעַו ,קסֵעְבּ טֵעַמְמ יֵוֱה ,רֵמוֹא ריִאֵמ יִבַּר ןִמ ָתְּלַטָבּ םִאְו .םָדָא לָכ יֵנְפִבּ ַחוּר לַפְשׁ יֵוֱהו ָתְּלַמָע םִאְו .ךָדְּגנְכ הֵבְּרַה םיִלֵטְב ךְל שׁי ,הָרוֹתַּה :ךָל ןתִּל הֵבְּרַה רָכָשׂ וֹל שׁי ,הָרוֹתַּב

Rabbi Meir said: Engage but little in business, and busy yourself with the Torah. Be of humble spirit before all men. If you have neglected the Torah, you shall have many who bring you to neglect it, but if you have laboured at the study of Torah, there is much reward to give unto you.

There is so much to learn from this little Mishnah it might as well be as gigantic as the Pacific Ocean! There is a great shiur available to watch on YouTube by the great Reb Yakov Hillel. In it he advises that just because a person can be making money in business does not mean that they can not be learning Torah for many hours too. His advice was to hire good staff including a good secretary or two and to keep your eye on the business. By fully trusting in Hashem the good staff around you will allow you to spend much time delving into the study of Torah and very interestingly you can make far more money in far less hours of work then people who can work much longer and earn far less!

If we keep Hashem in mind constantly from dusk till dawn, then we will always turn out OK in the end.