ENDURE: 19-YEAR OLD
CANCER SURVIVOR
1-on-1
with
KIESHA COUSAR
MOTIVATIONAL MIKE: HEALTH & HYPE
LIFE + LOVE + LESSONS
vol 2. issue 3
J
the
table of contents
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A short and sweet letter from our short and sweet editor.
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Diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17, Maleiyah E. Barrett tells The Journey Magazine how she endured and overcame through her faith in Jesus Christ.
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Believer, wife, mom, entrepreneur, motivational speaker and empowerment phenomenon, Kiesha Cousar sits down with the editor of The Journey Magazine to provide some key nuggets to today’s young women.
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MOTIVATIONAL MIKE is in the building. Former athlete turned this generation’s healthy hype man, Michael Rice discusses how to stay healthy, his daily drive, and what keeps him motivating others to live whole.
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LOVE, LOVE, LOVE: As always, we’re giving you some sound advice for your marriage and relationships. Not married? Not dating? Read to prepare for your mate! OTHER EXCLUSIVES: Beauty tips, financial advice,
and fishing tips from a fishing pro...
Editor’s Letter
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR “...SURVIVE”
Every time we release another edition of the magazine, I attempt to come up with a catchy slogan or theme. Well...this time is no different. I visited several themes in my mind throughout the course of the past few months, and of course, they rapidly changed. With this issue, I’d like each reader to think about their ability to survive. At some point in our lives, we have all ran into circumstances that may have threatened our survival: financially, mentally, and for some physically. I’ve survived spiritual droughts, financial droughts, and a few more droughts, but I indeed survived. To each reader, I challenge you to think of a time where you had to survive. Know, it was nobody but God that brought you through. The Journey Magazine | May 2016 | 3
In God’s Image Photog�aphy/Makeup Ar�ist��
Tanisha Walker | Owner | www.inGodsimage.net
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Feature Story
“I fell on my knees and begged God to heal her...” Jason Perez
Endure
Maleiyah E. Barrett, 19, grew up in a single parent home with her mother being her primary care giver. A current student at Pitt Community College in Greenville, NC, Barrett is all smiles and giggles during the photo shoot. She doesn’t need much direction and honestly, she’s quite comfortable behind the lens. Joining us later for the session is her boyfriend, Jason Perez, 21. A New York native shares with us his love for God and hopefully his one day wife. As we commence the interview, Barrett is all too eager and ready
to share her testimony. “Where do you want me to begin?” stated Barrett. I giggled, first let’s get some background information. As I asked questions, the sun was setting and there was a calmness in the air. We sat on the steps of a popular building at Pitt Community College, but summer break was in session so students were as far away from campus as I usually am to a cheeseburger. I digress. As Barrett and I conversed, I couldn’t help but realize her tenancity and inner fight.
Article & Photos by: Shwanda J. Williams
When she began to recount the details of how she won her fight with cancer, her faith was so evident. “I remember everyone just being scared and I was just like, what’s wrong with y’all. I’m going to be fine,” remembers Barrett. She mentions that she wasn’t scared at all. In fact, she shared that God began to warn her and hasten her to pray over her body a year prior to her diagnosis. What a mighty God we serve. “I knew I was going to make it,” said Barrett. A woman of faith and focus,
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Barrett is determined to maintain her fire for God and share her testimony with anyone who will listen. She was diagnosed with a rare cancer that affects the soft tissue in the body. Barrett had to undergo radiation and receive an incision in her leg, which is where the mass was found. Her mother noticed the lump in her leg while Barrett was at praise dance practice a few years prior. “I’m usually very modest about what I wear; I don’t like my body out, but this night, I chose to wear tights,” disclosed Barrett. The next week, Barrett visited the doctor and prior to giving her, to what may seem like a death sentence to some, the diagnosis, he told her to go home and relax. The next week, her life changed but it wasn’t over. After being diagnosed, Barrett stated that it seemed as if everyone was sad and wanted to fall apart. But she remembers her mom and her boyfriend staying by her side. She remembers her mother taking her to the doctor
appointments on her mother’s moped, which was her mother’s main mode of transporation. In addition to her boyfriend being supportive. Perez, a man of faith and also a member of Barrett’s church, as she proudly mentions, began to recount his experience of the ordeal. “One day I was at work and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Something came over me. I went to the bathroom at my job, closed the stall door, fell on my knees and begged God to heal her,” stated Perez. When asking Perez how does he feel about Barrett and the situation, he lovingly exclaims that he’s so grateful and he’ll never take her for granted. Although the two aren’t married, they hope to be in due season. Although Barrett is only 19, she insists that she has indeed endured and I can validate that she has. After months of grueling radiation therapy, Barrett left the hospital in full recovery.
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She didn’t just leave healed, she left with a hope. While in the hospital, she was inspired by her upbeat nurses to pursue radiation therapy as a career. She thinks it’s in her purpose to pursue this career and bring joy to others while they may be hurting, just as her nurses did for her. Always recognizing herself as unique and different, Barrett knows the best is yet to come. When I asked her boyfriend to give me one word that described Barrett, he said “warrior.” Indeed. “I won’t stop pursuing God. I will tell my testimony. You’ll always see me smiling. I serve a great God,” exclaimed Barrett. Yes we do sis, yes we do and you have endured.
Exclusive! 1-on-1
Community Spotlight
Kiesha L. Cousar “Kiesha L. Cousar is the founder and CEO of COUSAR Empowerment and EmpowerHER! Every girl. Every woman. Everywhere. She works with individuals and organizations to become greater!”
Photograph by: Tanisha Walker The Journey Magazine | May 2016 | 7
Watch Video! Watch this great video of Kiesha L. Cousar, founder of Cousar Empowerment, empower young women. Get empowered! Click to play.
Article & Video by: Shwanda J. Williams
Services: Event Planning/Consultation | Decor/Floral | Invitations/Save-the-Dates/Programs Web: http://www.iplanforperfection.com/ E-mail: planningforperfection@yahoo.com Phone: 252-814-6564
The Journey Magazine | May 2016 | 9
Rise to Action...
Activism & Politics
Written by: Trey Washington In the wake of several highly publicized incidences of police brutality, in which Black and Brown lives were cut short and their killers left held unaccountable, American cities have bubbled over with social unrest. Grassroots activist movements have popped up throughout the country and forced America to, yet again, answer for its longstanding legacy of oppression and injustice on a national and international stage. Conversations about justicewhat it is, who’s privy to it, and how can it be attained for those it often eludes—have risen to the forefront of the public consciousness, sparking intense debates in schools, houses of worship, workplaces, town halls and social media.
April of 2013 and blocked the doors of the Senate chambers, singing “We Shall Overcome,” and quoting scripture before being arrested. This display of action and courage came in response to a conservative shift in NC’s General Assembly in the 2012 election, which has since been marked by cuts to safety net programs and public education, tax increases, blocking of Medicaid expansion, and an
Many people, myself included, have been left asking, what role, does the church play in social justice? Reverend William Barber II, pastor of Greenleaf Christian Church in Goldsboro, North Carolina, answered this question of the church’s role in the fight for justice by putting his boots to the ground. Flanked by a small group of clergy and activists, Rev. Barber entered the NC state legislative building in 10 | The Journey Magazine | May 2016
introduction of voter ID laws that disproportionately restrict access to the polls for Black and Brown folks. Rev. Barber led the charge for what became known as Moral Mondays, weekly protests on the NC’s state capitol with attendance estimated at over 2000 people. In terms of its role in righting the societal wrongs of our day, the members of the Church must become aggressive, empowering, active and prone to good works beyond the four walls of the edifice. However, we must still focus on salvation but include a thorough approach in following Christ’s mission. He sought not only to share the Good News but also to be the Good News here on Earth (Luke 4:18). Christ offered God’s love for people in tangible ways. He healed the sick (Matthew 14) and the blind (John 9); He raised the dead (John 11); He fed the hungry (Matthew 15); He instructed in love, where others condemned (John 8); He turned tables in righteous anger over corruption (Matthew 21); He died for us (John 3). We must preach and live the pure gospel.
Rise to Action... And as Rev. Barber exemplified with his ministry, it is also the role of members of the church in the fight for social justice: to show tangible compassion for those impacted by oppression. It goes beyond tradition and apprehension. We must also showcase a genuine concern for their lived experiences. Are they eating? Do they have access to clean water? Do they feel safe in their homes? Do you even have a place to call home? Do they work somewhere that provides a livable wage? Do they have clothes? Do they have access to healthcare? If the answer is no, then it is our responsibility to stand in the gap, as Jesus has called us to do and continue to do for His Church. Image by: Lauren Cowart Photography
As Richard Stearns explains, “When we become involved in people’s lives, work to build relationships, walk with them through their sorrows and their joys, live with generosity toward others, love and care for them unconditionally, stand up for the defenseless and pay particular attention to the poorest and most vulnerable, we are showing Christ’s love to those around us, not just talking about it. These are the things that plant the seeds of the gospel in the human heart” (2009). There’s an old saying that goes something along the lines of, When the sun goes down and the house goes dark, what good
does it do a man to complain about the darkness? That’s what happens when the sun goes down. He must find light. When meat goes bad, and begins to rot, what good does it do a man to complain about the rotting meat? That’s what happens when bacteria is left to grow. He must find salt. Similarly, Christians mustn’t sit by and complain about how bad the world is becoming. That’s what happens when broken people are left to indecision without a foundation. Christians must be the salt and light (Stearns, 2009). This is one of many of the church’s roles in the fight for justice. Citation: Stearns, Richard. The Hole In Our Gospel. Nashville, Tennesee: Thomas Nelson, 2009. Print.
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Sports & Recreation
Top 10 Summer Bass Fishing Tips
Article by: Patrick Williams Photograph by: Kayle Williams
As the water is gradually approaching the 80 to 90 degree mark, bass are similar to humans as it relates to the temperature rise.
1. Shade When fishing shallow water, remember “It’s always a little cooler in the shade.” Not only for you but for the fish too.
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2. Deeper, Cooler Water Who wants to be in a pool of hot water? Hot water contains less oxygen and most fish like high oxygen areas. Why? Cool
5. Early Mornings The early bird gets the worm. Heat is a factor not only for us but also bass. So early mornings tend help us to avoid the summer heat and catch those bass that are 3. Slow (reel) Presentation Do you know how you feel when feeding in shallow water. it gets hot? How you just want to 6. Late Evenings lay around and move as little as Well the late bird gets a worm possible?… well bass are simitoo. As dusk approaches the bass lar. During these hot summer will come out to play again. The days, bass rather not chase their fish will come to feed in the food long distances. They are opportunists feeders, meaning if shallows. it’s an easy meal, it’s going to 7. Matching the Forage get eaten. Whether at a lake, pond or reservoir be observant of the bait fish. 4. Structure Species, color and size plays an This is anything that provides a important role. If you match the covering, shelter or shade. This forage the bass are feeding on could be grass, lily pads, boat then most likely you’ll catch fish docks, submerged trees, but not limited to just these. Under water more soon than later. plant life provides a steady source of oxygen, cover, food and ambush points for predatory fish. water contains more oxygen. The more oxygen, the more fish, the more fish, the more opportunities to catch fish.
8. Preparation Be prepared not only to fish but for the weather. Pack your sunscreen or your choice of skin protectant as well as plenty of water and snacks. Making a checklist helps to prevent leaving the necessities and it is also helpful to prepare the day before. 9. Take a Friend There is a saying that says if you give some one a fish they'll eat for a day but if you teach someone to fish they can eat for a lifetime. Taking someone fishing builds relationships and presents teachable moments. 10. Most of all Have Fun. After all is said and done the reason why we fish is to spend time with family, friends and to catch a few fish. So remember, laugh until you cry and create those memories that will last a lifetime.
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Creative Expressions
An inside exclusive with domestic violence survivors and supporters discussing forgiveness and love...
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Health & Fitness
Staying Healthy, Staying Whole Motivational Mike
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Health & Fitness Michael Rice, also known as Motivational Mike, is a country boy, sports fanatic, and lover of God. Born and reared in Henderson, NC thereafter venturing off to play Division II football for three years at St. Augustine College in Raleigh, NC, he’s back inspiring and motivating. I’ve known Mike for a few years, but recently I discovered his passion and desire to help others. I watched him on Facebook and it’s always so evident when God touches someone’s life. It sets them ablaze on a trajectory to success. This brother has certainly been set ablaze and is on a path to success. A former youth coach, turned motivational speaker, Rice has learned so much from his past and experience. A brother and son of two pastors, Mike owes all his success to God. His parents played a foundational role in his life and even playing collegiate athletics helped set the tone for what he’s doing today: inspiring people to be greater. He loves life and he’s dedicated to helping others find the same joy and motivation. He recently started his own podcast called “Discover Greatness TV”, the number 1 motivational station.
His slogan is “today you win because today you live.” Rice believes that every time you have an opportunity to breathe, you’re winning because you’re living. “So many people are dead to their dreams,” stated Rice. Mike comments that people think it’s hard to do something or achieve, so he makes it his goal when he speaks or records his podcast to let people know that is fiction. On his podcast, he showcases people who are doing great things and lets them explain their life story. “Everybody doesn’t have the same life story. So I let them come on in hopes of motivating others through their story to talk about their setbacks and how they taped into their greatness to overcome,” exclaimed Mike. As a person who often motivates others, I often search for sources of uplift, so I asked Mike how did he stay motivated. His answer was somewhat similar to probably what I would have said. “I get a rush out of letting other people know about their greatness. It’s just the every day grind of trying to be successful. To see other people blessed,” stated Rice. Even in times of weakness, I can truly attest that sharing a word of encouragement with others will somehow
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intrinsically pick you up. Rice focused a lot on getting people to understand that greatness is achievable. “Being successful is possible. You have control over everything you do.” Mike enjoys knowing that other people are inspired by what he does. He started off by motivating a youth football team he was coaching and he thought, he could do this for people in every day life. His podcast received overwhelming love and support. Mike commented that everyone goes through a struggle but they can get pass their struggle. It may take time because it’s a process. Everything is a process, but they can get through it. That’s the goal and focus of his show. He wants to be a platform of consistency for people. “People need countless and consistent stuff to help them and motivate them.” His show is certainly a platform for consistent inspiritation. Overall, Mike also talked about having mental and physical health. One thng I’ve learned is that having an overall balance is key. If not, it can bring depression. To stay fit and active, Mike tries different things like running, weight lifting and even obstacle
courses. His same way to motivate people mentally transcends into his own personal fitness goals. You decide to do and believe you can do it. “It’s so important that people get out and be active. You can’t blame people for your life. You have to make a decision and find the right resources.
Whether is from losing weight or becoming whole,” stated Rice. “You have to feed your spirit man and not the flesh. Don’t let your emotions override you. You have to fight and finish.” When I asked Mike the old “where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years question,” he stated, “I want to be higher, going to another level, learning new skills,
a successful entrepreneur with a successful health and education business. I won’t be able to save everyone, but if I can inspire one, that’s good.” Well I for one hope you’re still motivating people. We all need more positive and beneficial messages infiltrating the hearts and minds of the youth and adults in today’s society. Keep motivating, Motivational Mike!
Article by: Shwanda Williams Images provided by: Michael Rice
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Beauty & Fashion
SUMMER TIPS FOR HEALTHY SKIN Brittney Cherry Interview with Maurice Davenport
Cetaphil Moisturizer
BC: Should there be a difference between a winter and summer skincare routine and if so, why? MD: Most definitely! As the seasons change, so do our skincare needs. Both the winter and summer months require skin hydration, however, the seasons possess different climate changes. In the winter months, it is important to protect your skin from drying out. Therefore, using the proper moisturizing agents is recommended. The summer months present the challenge of protecting skin from sun damage and maintaining a fresh look in humid and sulky temperature spikes. So, it is important during the summer to stay hydrated with as much H2O as possible and to gear towards using foundations that contain SPF 15. BC: What products do you recommend during the summertime to maintain a healthy look? MD: Budget Saavy products: Aveeno Daily Moisturizer & Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser
Aveeno Lotion
BC: Any home remedies we should know about for summertime skin care? MD: Water therapy - steaming hot water and hot towels used to help flush toxins out of skin, cleans pores as well. Homemade cleanser - plain yogurt mixed with honey (aids in moisturizing skin as well) Additional Skincare Tips: 1) Avoid using harsh soaps, instead use gentle skin cleansers such as Purpose. 2) Rest is very important, to ensure that your pH level maintains a healthy balance. It is very important to develop a sleep routine that is followed daily as much as possible, 8 to 10 hours of sleep is recommended
Water
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Business & Career
Budgeting 101: Need-toKnows for Financial Stability
Shavonna B. Perkins, Financial Consultant I sat down with Shavonna Perkins recently to discuss some tips regarding budgeting and managing finances in a household. It’s a topic that most people shy away from, deeming it too hard or an unnecessary feat. I cannot honestly say I am a “budget” person, but I do make it a point to not spend more than I have and to spend wisely. I was formerly a spend thrift, never looking at price tags and thinking clothes were more important than food. Oh, but now I know better. Since getting married, my husband has taught me the difference between “needs” and “wants.” In addition to developing my relationship with God, He has helped me put
Image by: Kafi Robinson a lot of things in perspective, such as my reasoning behind purchases. Shavonna and I both discussed college days where money was limited and scarce, but developing into mature adults that now hold a more concrete understanding of financial success. Perkins did a presentation for a marriage seminar on budgeting and here’s what she had to say regarding the “Need-to-Knows” of budgeting and financial success. 1. Budgeting is important for short-term, long-term, and midterm expenses such as monthly bills, children, vacations, and purchasing a home. 2. We must give God what’s His. Tithing is a must. The Bible
often expresses the blessings we will receive when we give God what’s His and even when we bless the poor. 3. In a marriage, communication about finances are key. Being on one accord with your spending and spouse is a great way to eliminate disagreements. 4. Don’t think it’s impossible to stick to a budget. Whether you have a lot or a little, budgeting can help. 5. Having an end goal is helpful. For example, making a committment to have $1,000 saved in 12 months. 6. Share responsibilities with your spouse. 7. Learn from each other. Each person can offer advice regarding what works best.
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Ministry Moment
15 Things the 3rd Chapter of Daniel Teaches Us: The Fiery Furnance
don’t have to be disrespectful to authority, but you can let them By: Shwanda know about your faith and where Williams you stand. 9. When you go against a majority opinion, people will get angry. Now, we know we are to obey authority at all times, but if what they are asking compromises your faith, you can be sure that if you don’t bow down, you Image by: Kayle Williams will be rewarded. 10. Just because everyone else bows down, doesn’t mean you you believe. You have to stand When I read the story of bow down (Romans 12:2). firm on what you believe. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed11. You will be elevated for your 3. Music can be used for praise nego in Daniel, chapter 3, I am faithfulness and integrity. so uplifted and encouraged. The or sin. 12. Don’t worry about the people 4. Even though you may be Hebrew boys level of faith and who set traps for you. ““Venpersecuted for what you believe integrity for God is inspiring. geance is Mine, I will repay,” I’ve read the story several times and for standing in faith, don’t says the Lord.” and each time I revisit the story, fear; God will deliver you. 13. Letting your light shine and I receive new insight and revela- 5. People will set traps for you, tion. especially when you have favor. showing your faith will change 6. Everbody around you doesn’t some people’s perception around you. know God, some won’t reverMost recently I read chapter 3 14. When you’re persecuted, and here is what the Lord began ence God, and some don’t fear stand still, the Lord will fight for Him. But, He can use you to to say regarding several themes from the passage. show His strength and bring Him you. He will loose you in the midst (just like He sent an angel glory. He can use you to make to loose Peter’s chains in prison 1. When you are anointed and in believers out of unbelievers or and the Hebrew boys in the fiery convert sinners. a position of power or favor, 7. When you go through difficult furnance.) people are watching you. situations, God will be with you. 15. And finally, recognize God1b. You will be tested in given orders and man-given Angels will encamp around you those positions. orders. We are not to fear man, 2. Rulers will often make laws or because you fear Him. 8. Be bold about your faith. You but submit to the most high God. decrees which go against what The Journey Magazine | May 2016 | 21
Love & Relationships
Image by: DoniJac Photography
The Woodley’s: A Love Lesson
SW: Tell the readers a little bit about yourselves.
related to justice, restoration and uplift. I am honored and humbled to be an ordained minCHAZLE:I was born and raised ister and I have a passion to in Durham, NC and proudly preach the Gospel of Jesus consider myself a “Southern Christ to all who will hear, Belle.” I was raised in a single though I have a special place in parent home for most of my life, my heart for ministering to although I still had a relationship women and youth. with my father. My mother KEITH: I'm 32 years old, grew raised my younger sister and me up in the south side of Chicago. along with my two brothers who My parents divorced when I was she took in as her own. I'm around 8. My mother raised 6 currently a JD/MBA student in children in a single parent home. Chicago and I love anything She also took in my cousin as 22 | The Journey Magazine | May 2016
well along with a handful of family friends over the years. Needless to say we always had people in our home which made for a very interesting time EVERY night in the Woodley household. I grew up going to church & playing basketball. My mother was the type of mom that had the mindset that she would often say, "No matter what you're doing throughout the week and weekend, on Sunday morning, your
butt is going to be at church." Those two things really set the foundation of who I am today. SW: How did you meet?
marriage to make us holy, not just because I read it but because I've experienced it & will continue to. We believe the Godly structure of marriage is God leading the husband who is the priest of his home followed by the wife then the children. Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church & wives submit to your husbands. Now, this is not one way submission, the Bible clearly cause us to mutual submission to each other.
KEITH: Chazle & I met in 2009 at a Christian sports camp called KAA (Kids Across America) in Golden, MO. We worked with the high school age group. I worked primarily on leadership with programming & as a basketball coach & she worked as a Camp Counselor, teaching dance & cheerleading. SW: What makes a marriage work? SW: What is marriage and how do you all follow the CHAZLE’: Sacrifice, dedication God-structure of marriage? and commitment make a marriage work. It is imperative to CHAZLE’: Marriage is the understand that marriage is the symbol of the covenant with one thing that will show you Christ and the church. We follow yourself in a whole new way. the God-structure of marriage by Every strength, every weakness, understanding that the husband and every flaw will be revealed is the head of our home, and the in marriage because no one else wife stands alongside him in will know you as intimately as submission to the will of God. your spouse. Therefore, one KEITH: Marriage to me is a must understand that bringing beautiful struggle. It's a lot of two different people with two hard work but it's making us different backgrounds, upbringbetter. Chazle & I both read a ings and personalities will book unbeknownst to each other innately cause some type of before marriage entitled Sacred conflict. However, the key to Marriage by Gary Thomas. The making it work is keeping Christ main thought from the book asks at the center, praying through the question... "What if God situations, and being committed designed marriage to make us to working through solutions. holy more than make us happy?" KEITH: There's no cookie cutter I truly believe that God intended answer to give that will work for
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everyone because God has created each of us differently; what works for me & my wife may not work for you & your spouse. However, there are some foundational things that can make for a healthy marriage. With the risk of creating a really super long list I will limit myself to just 3 answers. 1 - Agreement: The Bible says that "Two cannot walk together unless they both agree." Amos 3:3 you all must be on the same page. My wife shares this acronym they she learned from her pastor in NC called S.M.I.R.K (Sex, Money, Intangibles, Religion, Kids) You & your significant other must agree on these things or at least be at a place of understanding each other before moving forward in marriage. 2 - Commitment: Your spouse needs to know that you are in it until the end, that you really meant "until death do us part." My wife & I made a choice not to use the "D" word in our marriage. In a moment of transparency I would be remiss to say that I held true to that commitment. I've fallen to my emotions & have used that word a number of times only to realize later that damage I've done to my wife & her security in us. The damage caused by my marital failings is something that I am daily undoing. Commitment friends is not
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only Biblical, it is foundational if you want to see your marriage last. 3 - Honesty: With your spouse you should be truly vulnerable, open & honest about everything. No secrets should be between you. In order to really feel unconditionally accepted & loved, you must be completely honest with your spouse. That's the only way you can truly feel the love of God in your marriage. I'm telling you this not from a place that's high up but from a place that’s low, a place where I learned these things the hard way & am growing from my mistakes. Ladies, don't be afraid to say how you really feel for fear that he may not understand or that he may leave, and fellas tell her what's really bothering you. If you can’t say it out loud, write it down in a note or email but whatever you do be completely honest with one another & fight to understand where the other person is coming from. Seek to understand, rather than to be understood. SW: What does it mean to be "unequally yoked"? CHAZLE’: Unequally yoked is when two people are attempting to join together with different values, beliefs and convictions about their relationship with God.
KEITH: The Bible states that we shouldn't be yoked with unbelievers. On another note, not only should you NOT connect with someone who doesn't believe in the same God as you but you also shouldn't link up with someone who doesn't have the same purpose as you. You remember we talked about “SMIRK” earlier. It's very important that you & your future spouse have the same mindset about life. If you don't, then you all will both be miserable & always in a combative state with each other because your purposes don't align. SW: How can forgiveness commence in a marriage when someone has been hurt? CHAZLE’: Forgiveness first commences when one is able to embrace the forgiveness given to them by God. Next, it begins with the offender seeking to understand and to hear versus than to be defensive and to solely be heard. KEITH: When you understand how much you've been forgiven for by God, one can extend that forgiveness to their significant other. It's easier said than done but it's a principle that must be put into practice daily.
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SW: How can married couples come on one accord and begin to pursue God to the fullest? WOODLEY’S: In order for married couples to come on one accord, they have to first CHOOSE to do so. Next, they must ensure that they are praying together to ensure that their desires are lining up with the will and purpose God has for their lives. Once they pray, seek the Lord and come into agreement, there are no limits to what can occur because there’s power in oneness, agreement and unity. SW: Keith, what do you think are five things a husband needs to understand about God and being a husband? KEITH: 1. As a husband God has called to be the Priest of you home. That means you lead your wife & family spiritually: praying together, reading & studying the Word together. 2. You're the Protector of your home. Your wife & children should feel a peace in the home, a sense of security. Not only do you protect your home physically, but emotionally as well. You play a big part in how the mood, atmosphere & environment will be in your home. 3. You are a Provider. Not just monetary provision. You can provide emotional stability within your wife & children.
4. You are called to be a lover in every sense of the word. Love God & love your wife. Lead her in love by speaking her love language, not how you think you should love her but how she says she needs to be loved. There's a difference. 5. Be friends to each other. You have to like to be around each other. Laugh, joke each other also, play games together. Enjoy each other’s company & time. It's not enough just to love each other; you have to like each other.
your spouse. Other people's opinions can often times cause something to be intensified and unnecessary conflict between your spouse and your family. 4. You are designed to be a helpmeet to your husband, so ensure that you are in fact helping him. Build him up with your words and make sure that you are helping him to be the man of God he is destined to be (fulfilling his purpose, passions, and destiny). 5. Don't make your husband a superhero. God is sovereign and God is the head of your life, not SW: Chazle', what do you your husband. If you expect your think are five things a wife husband to be perfect or to be needs to understand about God, you will be highly disapGod and being a wife? pointed. Put your ultimate trust in God and know that all things CHAZLE’: 1. Your relationship are working together for the and quiet time with the Lord is good of those who love God and essential. You must understand are called according to His purthat God will speak to you conpose. Even if you can't see how cerning your family, your future the plan will work or what the and provide you with insight for plan is, trust God and know that your husband. He never has plans to hurt or 2. You don't always have to be harm you. Trust Him to be a right. Learn to be okay with not good Father, a good Provider, a always having the last word. way Maker, your peace, your God justifies and God advocates- strength, your joy....He's everychoose peace over "being right" thing you need! Don't pressure all the time. your husband to be all of those 3. Understand that your husband things- only God can do and be is your first priority now and he that. is your family. Don't run to your family or friends every time you SW: What is the best piece of have an argument or an intense advice an elderly couple or discussion. Your marriage consomeone you know gave you sists of God at the center and about marriage?
CHAZLE’: Never go to bed angry and learn to compromise KEITH: The best advice I received from an elderly couple is that we shouldn't go to bed angry at each other & that it's not always about being "right." SW: Any final thoughts on love, marriage, or dating? CHAZLE’: When dating, don't go in with a smile. Instead go in with a SMIRK- ask about the person's views on Sex, Money, Intangibles, Religion and Kids. Marriage is a life-long commitment so don't embark on the journey haphazardly. Pray, prepare and use wisdom. It's one of life's greatest blessings! KEITH: Prepare yourself for marriage, save money, work on your debt. Don't ever stop growing together because life will make it easy to grow apart. Continue to fight for oneness. Continue to date your spouse. Brothers, while dating, find out your purpose & work in it. Sisters, allow the man to pursue you, know your worth & value & don't settle for less.
The Journey Magazine | May 2016 | 25
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www.kinstonteens.org | 252.522.8012 26 | The Journey Magazine | May 2016