The longest mile

Want an insight into how a Land Rover lover’s mind works? Here’s what happens during the school run for our man in the South West

IT’S A STRAIGHT MILE FROM MY CHILDREN’S SCHOOL TO OUR FRONT DOOR.

Maybe a mile and a quarter if you zigzag round the deeper potholes. Plenty of time, either way, to do some quality thinking before the working day crowds in.

So I wrap my scarf tighter round my neck and dig my hands into the fleecy depths of my pockets, bracing against the sub-zero chill of this steel-grey Somerset winter. One of my fellow villagers crawls past in his Range Rover Evoque, a solitary index finger of greeting raised in the approved manner. We don’t do showy out here in the sticks.

It’s the first Land Rover I’ve seen this morning and I delight in the way its tyres search the icy asphalt for grip. My day tends to be punctuated by moments like this, green-oval-themed waymarks through the hours, each one prompting a new thought that, if carried to its logical conclusion, would cost many thousands of pounds.

I adore the newest Evoque. I’ve said it before, probably the last time I saw this very vehicle. Deep blue and understatedly luxurious. Like the Multiyork sofa we had when I was a kid: you just know how comfy it’ll be by the sheer look of the thing. Reckon I’ll put in a few more hours in the corporate coalmine, try to earn the sort of wage that would enable me to drive one for a year or two, even it’s only on PCP.

But, ah, and here’s the thing. The Evoque slows to pass a V8 Disco 2 whizzing down the hill. It’s an odd one, this, how it stirs my emotions with its bronze paintwork and horse-greasestained seats. Must cost a fortune to run but it’s a doughty old thing. Solid, despite a permanent coating of farmyard beneath the sills. And, oh, that burble, like listening to Richard Burton at the start of Under Milk Wood. Nothing else comes close.

Except the Freelander 1 that the local farm worker acquired in the months before Christmas. Nothing fancy, bar a set of decent Mud Terrains and a ropewrapped roo bar. I’ve long thought the Freelander 1 an ideal vehicle for budget off-roading: solid and capable; a cheap addition to the driveway.

Apart from the fact that the driveway is where this particular Freelander seems to stay right now. There’s a battery charger dribbling from the crack in its bonnet and it watches on as the farm’s 30-year-old Daihatsu gets pressed back into service. I haven’t asked the problem, but the lesson seems clear: Ikeda 1, Solihull 0. Which just about settles the debate and saves my bank balance. No Lode Lane-themed financial risks for me this year. There’s a cost-of-living crisis on, after all.

Hasn’t stopped the bloke next door from investing in a shiny Freelander 2, mind you. Though if previous form’s anything to go by, he’ll move it on soon, so I may as well pop in and register my interest. I mean, those Halewood-built vehicles are more reliable than most, and the economy’s going to turn a corner soon, right? Which, just in case you wonder, is why my wife likes to do the school run most days.

The Defender is the 4x4 of every year

Provenance is a big deal in the strange and filthy-rich world of classic cars. Something that’s rivet-perfect and original in every way is sure to be treasured – but put it alongside another example of the same vehicle that’s been molested or is mechanically so-so, but used to belong to Jimi Hendrix or Princess Grace, and watch the collectors’ cash flow straight past it en route to a date with fame.

Obviously, if you have a Land Rover that’s been restored right and also has great provenance, you’re golden. The guy who ended up with the Queen’s old Series I and is about to sell it at auction is unlikely to find himself short of a quid or two anytime soon, for example. But when so few make it into later life without having been chopped about at least a bit, perhaps it’s inevitable that a Land Rover’s history will matter once it becomes a classic.

Of course, the Royal family love their Landies, and vice versa, so an old one with a bit of blue blood in its is not exactly unique. And there are plenty of film stars, rock stars, TV stars and footballers who have very publicly been seen aboard Land Rovers.

We’ve featured David Beckham’s old motor in these pages in the past, for example. And Noel Edmonds’, too, if that’s not too much of a case of going from the sublime to the ridiculous.

So, whose old Land Rover would you most like to own? In my case, and I suspect it’s the same for a lot of you, the answer would be myself.

We all sell vehicles sometimes and then go on to regret it. I know I’ve told the story of my old 90 in these pages before now. We get attached to our Landies the way we do to almost nothing else.

Knowing you’re sat aboard some celeb’s old motor is kind of cool, sure. But owning a Land Rover is about creating memories. And if you get aboard the truck you owned years ago, those memories will come flooding back as if time has stood still. No other vehicle can light you up the same way as a Land Rover you used to own. Now, that’s provenance.

Alan Kidd, Group Editor alan.kidd@assignment-media.co.uk

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