The Courier Edition - 195

Edition 195

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Friday 14th November 2014

CAR BOMB SHOCKER

WOMAN ESCAPES WITH JUST MINOR INJURIES

By ALEX TRELINSKI A 36 year old Elche man is behind bars after being accused of trying to kill his ex­girlfriend by planting a bomb in her car. He appeared in Elche’s special court that deals with violence against women yesterday, and was denied bail, with the judge saying that it was an unprece­ dented case.

The National Police swooped on the man after the homemade bomb detonated in the driver’s head­ rest, with the 41 year old woman being rushed to Vinalopó Hospital on Monday lunchtime. Her for­ mer boyfriend was arrested four hours later at his workplace, a car repair workshop on the Faima de Crevillent industrial estate in Elche.

The man’s ex­ partner got a number of superficial injuries when the device exploded at 12.20pm while she was on Calle Antonio Pascual Quiles in Elche, but she suffered only mild lacerations and burns to the head and neck. The woman was

reported by local media as saying that she felt considerably better and reas­ sured by the news that the National Police had arrested her ex­partner.

Emergency services were origi­ nally told that the woman's car airbag had explod­ ed, causing burns but experts from the police's TEDAX bomb squad discovered evidence of what they described as a "homemade" but "low intensity" bomb. According to the Informacion newspaper, the device, placed in the driver’s headrest, apparently exploded in an upward

direction and not towards the intended victim, who was hit by pieces of the bomb which hurled upwards towards the roof of the car, and then the bits bounced back onto the woman. At the time of the detonation, she was not leaning back on the headrest, but was parking her vehicle which less­ ened any impact on her from the explosion. Police are also trying to figure out how the gunpowder­ laden bomb was actually set off, with one theory being that it may have been via a remote control device.

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Friday 14th November 2014

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King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia attended the group funeral on Monday for the 14 victims of last Saturday night’s coach crash in the Murcia region. The vehicle, with 55 passengers on board returning from a Madrid pilgrimage, left the road on a bend and fell sideways into the grass verge just before midnight at the side of the RM714 near to Venta del Olivo. The royal couple could barely contain their emotions as they spoke to each and every individual mourner, offering words of comfort, as well as holding hands and patting the shoulders of those who were crying. They are said to have taken at least 15 minutes out talking to and greeting those attending the funeral, and giving their condolences and well wishes.

On the night of the crash, 10 people – a man and nine women – were killed outright, and another man lost his life in hospital just two or three hours

RAJOY DIGS IN

Sunday's symbolic 'vote' in Catalonia was pure propaganda according to Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy speaking on Wednesday during his first public appearance since the unofficial poll on the issue of the region's independence from the rest of Spain.

Rajoy, pressurised to make a statement after three days of silence, described the vote as "a total failure" during a news conference(pictured) and stressed that a definitive referendum on the issue of independence for Catalonia was impossible, and that reform of the Spanish constitution was the only option available.

The Spanish prime minister fiercely opposed the unofficial poll which saw 1.86 million people vote for independence out of a total eligible voting popula­ tion estimated in the range of 5.4 million and 6 million.

Catalan president Artur Mas reached out to Rajoy on Tuesday, saying it was time Madrid entered into a "permanent dialogue" with Catalonia. He said he had written to Rajoy inviting him "to set the conditions for a dialogue that is per­ manent and as constructive as possible".

But on Wednesday, Rajoy appeared calm and collected when he said his position hadn't changed since a year ago. "Independence is bad for Catalans and for everyone in Spain," he said.

"Mas says we should restart our dialogue. I have never denied dialogue to Mas or anyone else. But that dialogue, I insist, must be limited to constitution and powers of my office."

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later. Three more died in hospital on Sunday, and a further 15 are still being treated, two of whom are critical. One of the deceased was the parish priest of Bullas, and who was aged just 36.

Distraction and excess speed was said to be the cause of the accident, and some witnesses say they heard the driver panicking and shouting repeatedly that he 'could not brake' as the coach went around the bend. After taking a quick break at a service station in La Roda (Albacete province) on the A­30 motorway, the coach turned onto the RM­730 regional road, jump­ ing at least one 'stop' sign and ignoring speed limits, investigators claim. The driver has been charged with negligent homicide but released on bail.

Routine tests for drugs and alcohol at the roadside – carried out in the event of any serious road crash – showed up negative.

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Friday 14th November 2014

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SACRIFICES REMEMBERED A record number of people went to last Sunday’s annual Remembrance Day Service and Parade at Mil Palmeras church, organized by the Royal British Legion Orihuela Costa branch, with poppy wreaths laid at the Garden of Remembrance after­ wards. The Reverand Terry Baxter led the service, with, in addition to the Spanish and British Union flags, the stan­ dards of the military associa­ tions were borne proudly to rep­ resent those who gave their lives, whilst poppies were worn as a reminder to new genera­ tions who will inevitably face new conflicts. The start of the service had seen them respect­ fully processed into the chapel as the congregation sang ‘For those in Peril on the Sea.’ There were readings from the British Vice Consul, Lloyd Milen

and Flight Lieutenant David Carter in addition to a poem from Carol Stockwell, and an acapella rendi­ tion of ‘I Believe’ by Rebecca Holt.

The music was provided by the Phoenix Concert Band under the direction of Julie Schofield.

Afterwards, attention switched to the Garden of Remembrance where the RBL Wreath was laid by the Branch Chairman Keith Carter, in addition to wreaths from the spe­ cial guests and a number of service and military organisations. The wreaths were laid to the accompa­ niment of a lament played by the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums and this was followed by a chance for congregation members to pay their personal tributes by laying suitably adorned poppy crosses.

Afterwards, Vice Consul, Lloyd Milen said he felt privileged to have laid a poppy garland on behalf of the British Government.

ARMISTICE DAY IN TORREVIEJA

Heavy rain failed to dampen Tuesday’s Armistice Day com­ memoration held in the La Siesta area of Torrevieja with the lay­ ing of wreaths in memory of those who have fallen in past con­ flicts, preceded by a memorial service at the Evangelical Church.

Torrevieja’s Mayor, Eduardo Dolon and other local dignitaries attended the event which was organised by the Torrevieja branch of the Royal British Legion. The local chairman, Gill Burden, greeted the guests, with the Mayor thanking her for the invitation to the ceremony, emphasising that he appreciated how important the commemoration was to the local British com­ munity and that he was pleased to be part of it.

“NOT” PREGNANT CLAIM

An Alicante woman who is accused of putting her new­born son into a bag and throwing him out of the window of her flat in June 2013, has told a court that she did not know that she was pregnant. 27 year old Dayana has been charged with attempted murder and faces up to 12 years behind bars. The events made international headlines last year as firemen rescued the baby after it had spent two days in the drains, which the baby ended up in after landing on the patio.

Dayana, who has pled not guilty, said she had been ill for months and despite seeking medical help, she was never given a pregnancy test, and claimed to have been diagnosed with mastitis. She told the court that she did not realise she was pregnant until she woke up with her other son in her bed and found she was haemorrhaging.

She went to the bathroom and gave birth. She told the court, ‘There was nothing to make me think this was an infant, it didn’t cry’. She also denied knowing who cut the umbilical cord and who put the baby into a bag and threw it out of the window which landed on an interior patio. The patio had several downpipes taking water from the roof, and miraculously two days later firemen found the child alive.

‘If only I could remember what happened, ‘said the mother, ‘I have been a year and a half fighting myself trying to remember'.

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Friday 14th November 2014

SCARY DINER

A Costa Blanca man in the northern resort of Denía has found a novel way to complain about noise from a neighbour­ ing restaurant — he has suspended a coffin on scaffolding outside his window. With the coffin, the disgruntled local has stepped up a protest which began recently when he placed tombstones on his patio. The idea behind the macabre dis­ plays is to scare people away from dining at a newly­opened restaurant terrace at the rear of his home on Loreto Street in the town.

"We don't know what he's going to do next. Maybe he'll put skulls out," restaurant owner Juan Carlos Villar said on Monday, adding he won't launch an official complaint because he doesn't want to start a "war between neigh­ bours". "The ball is in the town hall's court. I don't want to get involved," he added.

Denia council is now trying to establish whether the scaf­ folding used to display the coffin is legal while the restaurant owner is telling customers he has an "odd neighbour".

SOFT CELL

Elche’s local police got more than what they bargained for in their own prison cells, as a detainee demolished a cell door last Saturday. The 31 year old man knew the lay out and security aspects of the cells, which were formerly opened two years ago, because he worked as a plumber on the project.

His knowledge apparently helped him to smash his cell door down to the ground, but he did not manage to escape the clutches of the officers in the building. Besides the detained man, who had been arrested for being involved in a serious road accident on the N332, only a woman awaiting transfer to Fontcalent jail in Alicante was under lock and key. Both were swiftly transferred to the Guardia Civil barracks in Santa Pola, whilst the mess was cleared up. Elche Mayor, Mercedes Alonso, said they would be making contact with the builders to find out why it was so easy for a cell door to be collapsed.

HIDDEN SECRETS

San Miguel de Salinas council has been slammed for allegedly asking for details about the sex lives of people applying for benefits. The neighbourhood group, La Asociación de Vecinos San Miguel Arcánge, has criticised the council and the Mayor, Ángel Sáez, for seeking too much personal information like ethnic origin and the health of appli­ cants when people are asking for social assistance. They’ve argued that personal information could also end up appear­ ing of various government databases, which is unconstitu­ tional. The Mayor has rubbished the claims, telling the Informacion newspaper that no decree was made during the summer to compile databases with such personal details.

ON THE THE LONE WATERFRONT PROWLER

A four­lane motorway and a 20 metre­wide pedestrian walkway are part of the Special Plan to revamp Torrevieja’s port area, which has been unveiled by the Mayor, Eduardo Dolon (pictured­centre). An area of around 90 thousand square metres will be developed in a plan that has been in the offing for a number of years, and will offer a mixture of buildings aimed for leisure and shopping, as well as the con­ struction of a new relief road that will run between the city centre and the port.

A convention centre is planned as well as sports facilities and green areas, in addition to an underground car park to cater for 600 vehicles, with Dolon saying that he hopes the project can go out to private tender next spring with an esti­ mated cost of 30 million euros.

NICE AND ECO

Three architects have put their heads together to plan the most ecological homes in Murcia, which will be made from reusable materials and offer savings of 90% in electricity and 50% in water. Jose Angel Bermejo, Atonio Fernández Esteve, and Abelardo Salmerón Pinar are the guys behind the “Green Soul 2020 Project”, and their first job is to build a block of flats in Murcia City which will store rain water; recy­ cle shower water in the toilets; and reuse any run off water while users wait for the water to heat up. Solar energy will power the lift as well as lighting the communal areas.

NOT SMART A leading consumer association says electricity companies are 'illegally' overcharging customers for 'smart' meters and they claim the companies are ripping people off to the tune of 37.24 million euros a year.

According to FACUA­Consumers in Action, the new meters fitted by the State­run power board via its five main suppliers fall far short of the standard required for consumers to have to pay for them, since they do not provide any benefits to the homeowner or occupier – they cannot be used to set a timer for appliances so that they consume more power at the cheaper times of day, nor do they give information about which appliances or fixtures drink the most power and when.

Moreover, they do not even, in most cases, allow the electric­ ity board to read the meter from their offices rather than in person.

Despite this, utility boards are billing householders for the rental of these meters as though they were indeed capable of all this, FACUA complains.

A serial burglar who operated around Torre Pacheco and the Mar Menor, who would calmly case each of his intended targets in such a laid­back manner that he was dubbed “The Prowler” by the Guardia Civil, has been remanded after mak­ ing an appearance at the San Javier courts.

The 40 year old thief is said to have struck at least 56 times, having spent a busy summer working his way around the area, especially in parts that were being visited by tourists. The six foot tall­plus “ Prowler” was spotted on a variety of security cameras close to homes and businesses before breaking into them, but was determined to keep his face out of sight. He mainly operated in the early mornings between 3am and 7am, with the Guardia not ruling out a higher tally of break­in’s.

PIMPS PULLED

The Guardia Civil have smashed a prostitution ring that exploited Romanian women and operated on the borders of Murcia and Orihuela. Four Romanian men were arrested with addresses in Orihuela, and have been charged with a variety of crimes including prostitution, drug trafficking, and the ille­ gal possession of weapons. The men would seduce the women by tricking them into believing that they were devel­ oping a serious relationship with them, only for them to be forced into prostitution.

LIFE SAVED

A British child aged under two was revived by local police after nearly drowning in a private swimming pool in the El Galan area of Villamartin. Only limited details of the incident, which happened last week, have been released but the drama unfolded during a wedding party involving her par­ ents. The event was being staged at the child’s grandparent’s home, with officers giving her first aid before she was trans­ ferred to Torrevieja Hospital in a stable condition.

FAKE JOB CON

41 people from the Alicante Province and Murcia regions have been arrested and accused of defrauding Spanish Social Security of three million euros as part of a nationwide clampdown against scams that have cost the government at least 10 million euros. Across the country, the National Police have arrested over 600 people in their operation against fraudsters, who in many cases created bogus companies and made false declarations, as well as employing cheap undeclared illegal foreign labour.

Friday 14th November 2014

FLYING DUTCHMAN

Two Dutch nationals who allegedly tried to smuggle 42 kilos of cocaine into Spain via Alicante­Elche airport are facing up eight years in jail if they’re found guilty. Their trial in Elche started on Wednesday with prosecutors calling for the prison stretches if the two are found guilty of crimes against public health. The drugs were being smuggled in from Argentina on a freight flight in a trunk with a false bottom which was said to contain video and camera equipment on the premise that the men had returned from Latin America having shot material for a magazine article.

AL FRESCO

La Manga’s Surfing Restaurant lost the roof of its outside terrace last Saturday, but fortunately none of the diners were hurt, as they were in a dif­ ferent area. The rubble poured down onto the main dining area at 1.00pm, with the incident caused by iron inside the concrete beams corroding. Not surprisingly, the premises are closed for business until extensive investiga­ tions are completed.

HIGH SPEED

Local police got a bonus when they stopped a speeding motorist in the San Fulgencio area last week. The 29 year old driver was tailed by cops when they spotted him speeding by Bimil•lenari bridge, and they stopped the vehi­ cle only to find 10 jars of marijuana hidden in the boot. Around one kilo of the drug was seized.

VOLUNTEERS CELEBRATED A sharp rain shower didn’t dampen the spir­ its of local volunteer groups who showed off their wares to celebrate International Volunteer Day in Torrevieja last Saturday morning. 30 organisations were represented at the outdoor stands on the city’s Paseo Vista Alegre, before going on to a special celebrato­ ry luncheon at the Hotel Cabo Cervera.

NAMES IN THE FRAME

Four streets have been re­named after choirs in the Los Balcones area of Torrevieja to cel­ ebrate the singing heritage in the city, especially with the 60th anniversary of the Habaneras contest coming up in 2015. The presentation by Mayor Eduardo Dolon, also recognised local actor who was acclaimed as the father of Torrevieja theatre, Raul Gimenez Ferrández and respected charity worker Luis Cook, both of whom passed away this year.

EXTRA EMERGENCY

Expansion and improvements to the Emergency Department of the Vega Baja Hospital will start before the end of the year, according to the Regional Secretary for Health, Luis Ibáñez, who visited the building this week. The work area will be increased by more than half after summer improvements in the cardi­ ology and trauma departments as well as the replacement of 50 beds.

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Friday 14th November 2014

KEEP IT CLEAN, FELLAS!

'HEY, you lot!' Dave the barman yelled out at pub closing time the other night. 'Would one of you like to stay behind and help me clean up the place?'

'No way! That's woman's work!' snorted Indoor Lou. Dave the barman lifted the damp towel covering the pumps and flung it at Indoor Lou. 'You wouldn't have dared come out with that sexist remark if Andromeda Arkwright had been here.'

Indoor Lou looked furtively around just in case our latest pub regular was lurking in the shadows.

'You're damned lucky she isn't here!' snapped mein host.

'She's taken the night off to knit clothes for the needy. Andromeda is an angel but woe betide anyone who insults her and womenfolk in gener­ al.

'I tell you, Lou,' Dave the barman told Lou, 'She would have punched out your lights and you would have fin­ ished up unconscious on the pub floor.'

'Just like me,' croaked Ol' Red Eyes from his customary position on the deck.

Dave the barman divert­ ed his glare from Indoor Lou to the figure on the floor. 'You might as well stand up now, my red­eyed friend. I'm about to close up.'

But Ol' Red Eyes stayed where he was, yawned deeply, went back to sleep for a few seconds and then woke up again. 'Your words have only just soaked through to my brain,' he

informed Dave the barman.

'I would stand up and go home only I've forgotten where I live.

'I mean where I USED to live because I've been spending

the night here at the pub since as far back as I can remember.'

'But it's not safe,' said Dave the barman.

'Of course it's safe,' argued Ol' Red Eyes. 'Every night I hear you lock up after the last of the customers

has been dragged kicking and screaming from the premises. So how can I be in danger unless someone batters the door down?'

'I meant it's not safe for

ME!' cried Dave the bar­ man. 'This is a hostelry not a hotel. If the authorities found out that you kip here every night I would lose my drinks licence.'

'No you wouldn't,' butted in Fearful Phil. 'To lose your drinks licence you first have to sell alcohol. And every­

one knows you dilute your ale.'

'Don't change the subject,' urged Dave the barman.

'We were talking about tidy­

Arkwright had put in a late appearance.

Dave the barman solemn­ ly surveyed his regulars in a silent plea

ing up this place. I desperately need someone to help me since my cleaner quit on me for paying her below the minimum wage.'

'Ah ha!' crowed Indoor Lou. 'I told you cleaning was woman's work!' Then he looked around the pub again just in case Andromeda

for assistance and then his face crumpled. 'Please, fel­ las,' he implored. 'Unless someone helps me, I shall have to close the pub . . . permanently.'

Our expressions turned to horror as we each contem­ plated the awful prospect that we could lose our sec­ ond home ­­ or in Ol' Red

Eyes' case his first home.

But that particular dread was still not enough to get us off our lazy bottoms ­­ or in Ol' Red Eyes' case his whole body.

Apart from Andromeda, there was still one pub regular unaccounted for.

Dave the barman dashed outside and showed his crumpled face to Fag Ash Bill.

'Sorry, Dave,' the latter said with seemingly gen­ uine regret. 'I would help you tidy the pub but I've injured my arm. The doc­ tor said it is smoker's elbow and I have to rest it. And I can't use my other hand to help you because my ash tray is taped to it.'

'Okay, okay, I get the message,' grumbled Dave the barman. He re­entered the hostelry, shoulders slumped, and picked up a duster.

'I guess I'll do some wiping until I clamber exhausted into my bed and probably fail to wake up ever again.'

It was Daft Barry who finally caved in and came to Dave the barman's rescue. 'I'll do the pub cleaning for you. Let's face it, I have nothing much else to do once I leave this place of an evening.'

Dave the barman leaned over the bar and planted a slobbering kiss on Daft Barry's bonce.

'That is so kind of you to offer to work without any recompense or reward. But do not fear. You and me shall do the cleaning togeth­ er ­­ in tandem as it were.'

Daft Barry scratched his damp head. 'In tandem? But I haven't brought my bike with me.'

Friday 14th November 2014

I WANT MY MUMMY

A routine inspection at Madrid's Complutense University has turned up an unusual find — a mummy and two skeletons. Nobody knows how they got there, or who they belong to. A professor in the medical stumbled upon the mummy on the roof terrace of the faculty build­ ing.

"We're taking about an old drying room for cadavers, facilities that haven't been used for 25 to 30 years," a spokesperson for the Vice Chancellor's office told Spanish daily El País.

"It's not as if the mummy was out in the open, it was protected in a suitable place," said the spokesperson, who added two skeletons had been found as well.

But an internal department memo told a different story, making mention of a facility that didn't meet "minimum safety or hygiene standards".

"We have been told verbally that the mummified body will be removed by a funeral com­ pany as quickly as possible." the memo went on.

Y VIVA INGLES

Spain is continuing to see big gains in its English language skills, with the country reaping the rewards of increased investment into language education, a new study shows. Spain has ranked 20th among 60 countries surveyed in the latest Education First (EF) English Language Proficiency Index.

That is three places higher than Spain managed in EF's 2013 index, and means the country is now only just outside the High Proficiency Index which includes countries like Switzerland and Singapore. It also puts Spain a long way ahead of countries like Italy, in 27th place, and France, which ranked 29th.

"Spain is seeing the results of a significant change in attitude toward English language edu­ cation. The Spanish government has defined English as one of seven basic skills, alongside Spanish and math," the authors of the EF study noted.

The report also noted the huge increase in the number of bilingual schools in the country, where students spend 30 percent of the day in an English­speaking environment.

In terms of regions, the highest scores were in the Basque Country while the lowest were in Extremadura.

PURRRFECT RESULT

Animal­lovers feeding and sterilising feral cats will get their fines refunded after Madrid city council was found to have been in breach of pet protection laws by stopping them from doing so. A group of residents in the Salamanca district of the capital feed the cat colony every day, and also engaged the help of an animal shelter to catch them one by one, taking them to the vet to be neutered or spayed, and then releasing them.

The residents in question were each fined 900 euros under a city by­law on regulating care and ownership of domestic pets. But the court says this law cannot apply as feral cats are not domestic and are not owned. Madrid itself changed local laws in early 2005, before which they would attempt to control the feral cat population by poisoning.

The colony of animals in question is controlled and stable, said the judge, therefore the charities and the residents who called upon them for help had been acting appropriately by spaying and neu­ tering them, and banning these people from feeding them was cruel.

Madrid council has been ordered to refund the 900­euro fines and pay legal costs of 350 euros to each person sanctioned. The animal charities who had been helping the local residents say the city council's previous attempts to eradicate feral cat colonies by 'exterminating' them was 'barbaric' and 'has no place in a civilised western society'.

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Friday 14th November 2014

SPANISH NEWS

BURQA BUS CRISTINA’S BAN TAXING TIMES

King Felipe VI's sister Princess Cristina could face trial after a court upheld tax fraud charges against her. However, the high court in Palma de Mallorca dropped the more serious money­laundering charges. The charges relate to business dealings by her husband, Inaki Urdangarin. However, there is still a chance she will avoid trial if judges apply a discretionary power that allows for people who have not been accused by a public prosecutor to have charges against them dropped.

Many Spaniards have recently lost confidence in the monarchy following a series of scan­ dals, including Princess Cristina's case. Judges have been investigating allegations that the princess's husband embezzled millions in public funds with a former business partner and that the princess had knowingly benefited from the dealings.

Her lawyers have said they are completely convinced of her innocence. Her husband, Mr Urdangarin, stands accused with 15 others of embezzling 5.6m euros of public money from the Noos Institute ­ a charitable sports foundation that used to be presided over by Mr Urdangarin.

BISHOP FINGERED

A Catholic bishop who refused to give some money to a beggar paid the penalty when she took his episcopal ring off his finger and fled! The Bishop of San Sebastian, Juan María Uriarte was walking in a Bilbao street when an East European woman approached him ask­ ing for financial help.

Uriarte refused and the thief then stooped as if to kiss his hand before ripping the episcopal ring off his finger. The woman, fled the scene and is still on the run.

Uriarte reported the theft to the Ertzaintza regional police force and explained that the value of the ring was mainly symbolic as it had been presented to him on his nomination as bishop. Born in 1933, Uriarte was named bishop of Zamora in 1991 before being transferred to the Basque Country.

A Vitoria bus driver refused to allow a woman on board because she was wearing a Muslim veil which covered her face, in the latest flare up in the Basque city over tolerance of Islamic customs. The driver for the city’s Tuvisa transport service who decided not to let her on has now organised a petition among company colleagues and passengers in a bid to gain sup­ port for his stance.

Tuvisa has opened an investigation into the incident, while the municipal company’s pres­ ident has called a meeting with politicians from the city council to inform them of what the ABC newspaper says is the latest in a series of flashpoints relating to rules for the city’s Muslims.

In the summer, Mayor Javier Maroto of the Partido Popular imposed rules to prevent women from bathing in public swimming pools wearing Muslim outfits or if they were dressed in ordinary clothing and not just swimming costumes. "The rules at public swimming pools are the same for everyone," the mayor said in June.

COSTLY FIVER

An angry bank customer who jumped over a counter and helped himself to five euros that he felt he was owed after account charges wiped out his bank balance, has been sentenced to two years in jail for his trouble.

The man received the sentence after he stole the five euros from a bank in the Galician capital of La Coruña and fled. He took the money after turning up with his passbook to with­ draw the last of the funds in his account. When he reached the front of the queue however, he learned bank charges meant his account was actually in the red. At that point, the man became angry and shouted out demanding explanations, regional daily La Voz de Galicia reported.

When the bank manager emerged from his office to intervene, the customer thrust his fist into the man's face and said he was going to beat the hell out of him. Two other members of staff then intervened but to no avail. He pushed the three aside and jumped over a counter before opening a drawer, taking out five euros before running away. During a recent court hearing, the man admitted his guilt and was sentenced to two years for aggravated robbery

Friday 14th November 2014

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Friday 14th November 2014

LOCAL LOOK-IN

LIONS AID HIGH STANDARDS EBOLA ORPHANS

A full house enjoyed last week’s annu­ al concert staged at Torrevieja’s Municipal Theatre in aid of the Poppy Appeal.

As the Standard of the Torrevieja branch of the Royal British Legion was paraded into the auditorium accompa­ nied by the Standards of the RNA, RMA, RAFA, RBL District North Spain and the

RBL Orihuela Costa branch, the Torrevieja Pipes & Drums along with the Phoenix Concert Band provided a stirring reception. The excellent concert was organised by Carol Stockwell, featuring acts like Footwork Dance, Maria O’Hara, The Velvetones, and the Torrevieja Harmonisers. Details of the amount raised on the night will be released soon.

PAINT AND PALETTES

The Torrevieja Costa Lions Club is one of many Lions Clubs around the world that is accepting donations help the young victims of the Ebola virus in Western Africa. Current esti­ mates of orphaned and aban­ doned children is at around five thousand, and the Lions Clubs International Foundation (LCIF) have initiated a project to pro­ vide food, shelter and to build orphanage accommodation for those most in need. An immedi­ ate donation of 150,000.00 US dollars has been pledged from LCIF. The Lions of Spain are currently active with their appeal for help, and should any individual, group, organisation, business or association wish to make a contribution, the Torrevieja Costa Lions will be delighted to receive your support and guarantee that every cent donated will go directly to those most in need.

To make a donation your first point of contact should be via E­ mail to Lions President, Iain Bennett on idsbennett@hotmail.co.uk or by phoning 966 731 495.

HELP NEEDED

There’s a splash of colour with a painting exhibition featur­ ing the work of the ladies of the Campoverde La Amistad Association at Pilar de la Horadada’s Casa Cultura through to Friday November 28th. Some of the members have only recently started to paint, so you can enjoy some of their efforts along with some of the more seasoned veterans! The Casa Cultura, on the corner of Calle Bailen and Calle La Isla is open Monday to Saturday between 9am and 2pm and from 4pm to 9pm and entrance is free.

HELP FOR ALICIA

Money is coming in thick and fast to help Alicia Garcia and her nine year old son Angel, fight off eviction from their home in Los Altos, Torrevieja. Alicia lost many of her possessions in a fire two years ago, as the blaze spread to a courtyard and damaged other people´s property. She was not insured, due to financial problems, and faces a debt of 4,378 euros claimed from an insurance company. Unless she pays the sum by December 15th, she faces a court appearance, and this could result in eviction from her home next month and her son Angel being put into care as Alicia would become homeless. Her plight has prompted the charity Help at Home Costa Blanca to come to her aid, by launching an appeal, backed by The Courier newspaper.

More than one thousand euros has been raised within three weeks, with the International Christian Assembly church in Torrevieja donating 400 euros, and an urbanisation in Orihuela Costa which has a charity fund, putting 500 euros into the fund, along with a variety of smaller donations.

Other forthcoming fund­raising events include: Tuesday November 18th:­ A Fashion Show and live entertainment at the

charity market in the Celtic Isle, Playa Flamenca.

Saturday November 29th:­ A Xmas Dinner Dance at The Asturias Restaurant Punta Prima. Three course meal with wine, water and jugs of beer for only €15 a head with entertainment from local singer Stefanie Lohse, amongst others. There will be a selec­ tion of paintings and wood carvings by Chris Hammond Ford displayed for sale and auction, with 10% of the pro­

Help At Home Mar Menor is urgently looking for care volunteers to help people in their homes struggling following ill health/operations. Qualifications are an asset, but knowledge/experience is essential. Training is given and hours will be to suit you, maybe two to three per week, maybe more, maybe less, depending on client’s resources. HAH cover only a 15km radius of Los Alcazares, and travel expenses will be paid. Please contact Lesley 958 134 978 or Pam 968 582 535 or E­mail helpathomespaion@gmail.com Meanwhile the next meeting of the HAH Chatters group is this Wednesday November 19th, at the Roda Centro Civico from 11.00am with a talk about the benefits to humans and animals of wearing magnets.

STEFANIE’S GIFT

700 euros was raised for the needy of Los Montesinos thanks to teenage singer Stefanie Lohse’s recent sell­out two and a half hour concert in the town’s music school auditori­ um. Before her ceeds donated to the Alicia and Angel last song, the Save our Home fund. Tickets will be on town’s culture sale at the Charity Centre, the Celtic councillor, Rosa Isle and at Asturias Restaurant a week Belen Moran before.

Peredes, handed If you would like to make a donation, Stefanie(pictured or for tickets to events, please call the together with charity on 956 328 794 or 693 027 026 Montesinos or pop into the Charity Centre at CC Mayor, José Flamenca Beach, Orihuela Costa, Manuel Butrón Sánchez) a bouquet of flowers and thanked between 10.30am to 2pm. email: chari­ her for an outstanding performance that will help to buy food tycentre.helpathomecb@gmail.com vouchers for the less well­off local residents.

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Friday 14th November 2014

LOCAL LOOK-IN A CLOSE WATCH

The Rojales Neighbourhood Watch Group will be holding their last meeting of the year in Quesada’s Municipal Centre on Monday December 1st from 11.00am. Everybody liv­ ing in the 03170 postal area is welcome to come along, and for more details check out the website www.nhwin­ spain.com

REACH OUT BOOST

Torrevieja’s homeless charity, Reach Out, got a massive surprise recently with a bumper cheque of over five thousand and four hundred euros to put into their coffers. Reach Out President, Karolina Leonard was at the recent launch of the Torrevieja Outlook calendar for 2015, when she was called to the stage by Miguel Angel of the Aroca Seiquer law firm and given the unexpected donation.

“Our intense gratitude to Miguel Angel, his clients and staff, and to Currencies Direct for making this possible”, said Karolina. “It is hard to describe what this donation means, but let me try to put it into context. On the morning of the calen­ dar launch, a group of volunteers gathered at the drop in cen­ tre for Morning Prayers. There we were praying for blankets and sleeping bags as the nights are getting cold, and the homeless people are suffering. Who knew that just a few hours later, such a miracle to be handed to us. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts!”

GREEN BRUSH STROKES Autumn was very much in the air during this month’s meeting of the Vega Baja Garden Club, with tips about what to do at this time of the year in addition to the kind of plants that members would be interested in over the forthcoming Christmas period.

A special talk was given by local painter, Eileen Wallace, who gave a demonstration of her “One Stroke Painting” technique, which allows for the speedy painting of any sub­ ject, including flowers. Eileen also encouraged club members (pic­ tured with Malcolm Williams) to give it a go themselves!

The next meeting will be the last one before Christmas on Monday December 1st at 1.45pm for a 2.00pm start at the Los Rosales Restaurant outside Guardamar.

For more details and questions, send an e­mail to vegabajagarden­ club@gmail.com

FOR HANDS BLESS THEM ALL THAT DON’T DO DISHES

Nearly 400 euros was raised for the Poppy Appeal and Help Murcia Mar Menor as 65 people had an entertaining evening with some Prom Night favourites at the Olympia restaurant in Mil Palmeras. The function organised by Help Murcia Mar Menor featured traditional wartime songs and British favourites echoing around the venue with everybody joining in as well as some impromptu solo performances.

ARMISTICE DAY COMMEMORATED

The Torrevieja Pipes and Drums were part of a moving Armistice Day service last Tuesday in Hondón de las Nieves, organised by the Hondón Valley branch of the Royal British Legion to remember everybody who had fallen in fighting for their country. It was a service and commemoration performed in Spanish and English, with the traditional presentation of the standards, and music for the hymns performed by the Phoenix Concert Band. The Foreign Resident Councillor, Alexis Rubira Rilo, read from the Bible in Spanish, and Tony Brown of the RBL Hondón Valley read his own moving poem “To End All Wars.”

Washing up is going to be an easier experience for the Torrevieja Reach Out charity which helps local homeless people, thanks to a donation of an industrial­sized dishwash­ er by Jose Antonio Vilelle Fructuoso, owner of the Restaurante Bahia and Salones de Bahia in the city. The deal was struck for Reach Out by the Rotary Club of Torrevieja, and the dishwasher arrived fully serviced and as good as new, and has been put to extremely good use every day with the team cooking and serving two meals to homeless people in the town. Also pictured is Emilio Corcoles, President of the Torrevieja Rotary Club, who also happens to be one of the landlords at the drop in centre.

TRACI HITS THE SEA

The Smile Charity Group put a smile on the faces of everybody to do with the Elche Children’s Home as their latest venture raised 800 euros at the El Alto La Dolores Restaurant outside Guardamar. Entertainment was provided by Andy Jones and Lyndon B with their Las Vegas show, and Traci Bortoli from Algorfa hit the jackpot by winning the Mediterranean cruise in the top raffle prize donated by restaurant owner, Andres.

The same venue will host another Smile fun­raiser this coming Tuesday (November 19th) featuring Woody & The Peckers.

Pictured is a very happy raffle winner Traci, along with her father, and restau­ rant manager, Cornel.

DOWN THE MIDDLE

FAYRE ENOUGH

Golfers got into the swing of things recently to raise money for charity at a special Captain’s Day at the San Javier Golf Society. 300 euros was raised by the members, which the Golf Society captain, Alex McLennan, handed over to Pat Massingham of Help Murcia Mar Menor in a special ceremo­ ny at La Serena Golf.

Seasonal bargains and fun will be the order of the day for the Torrevieja Christian Fellowship’s annual Christmas Fayre at the end of the month. The event will run on Saturday November 29th from 2.00pm at the TCF building on Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68. Inexpensive gifts made by the TCF Craft Club will be on sale as well as baked items and toi­ letries, in addition to light refreshments

12

Friday 14th November 2014

AT LAST, WE KNOW WHY! Since we started our animal charity two years ago, our success rate at re­homing animals is abysmal. We were only suppose to be caring for a few animals at a time, because we work with the severely abused, who do need a lot of our time each day. Instead we are now up to well over thirty ani­ mals and we are at a point where we can no longer accept any more until we find homes for the ones we already have! Why our record is so poor has always puzzled me, but I am absolutely sure that the other night I finally came up with the answer.

I believe that the reason why we are having no suc­ cess at re­homing any of the animals is because the pub­ lic are well aware of how well these animals are looked after by us. So what then happens is that the per­ son thinks that it would be better to go and rescue an animal from one of the per­

reras in Spain or elsewhere.

What people have to under­ stand is that because of this, we are now in a situation where our doors are now closed to taking in the severely abused animals that are desperately waiting out there to come into our care. I have been writing for this newspaper for three years now and have never once re­homed an animal from these pages. That is a shocking statistic. Every other rescue centre I know of, have an excellent record of re­homing animals, but something for us has to change, otherwise how can we keep taking in more ani­ mals?

When you write for a weekly newspaper, people think first of all that you are raking the money in, because of the amount of consultations I must be get­ ting ­ I have done two all year! Secondly, they think that you must be re­homing so many animals, with major success:­ we have re­

homed a total of four dogs this whole year! And finally they think that our charity must be hugely supported, because of my weekly columns in this newspaper:­

I have had six donations all year from Courier readers!

My strength as a dog behaviourist is turning severely abused dogs into happy dogs and because of

PETS CORNER : CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

BENJI Benji is the most unique looking dog you are ever likely to see, and even vets don't know what breeds make him up! He was res­ cued from outside a super­ market in San Pedro and is living in the APAH kennels.

He is a lovely medium sized dog, a bit shy, but will grow in confidence in a loving home. To arrange to meet Benji please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Brin, who is four year old, has recently gone into foster care in an apartment in the centre of Valencia where he is doing very well. Now house trained, he is good on the lead and does not pull.

He is very obedient and is showing himself to be very loving, and will make a won­ derful companion. For more information about Brin, please telephone the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or e­mail p.e.p.a.animalchari­ ty@gmail.com

PEPE

BRIN

Pepe is around two years old and is a beautiful brown and white Pointer, he’s a big softie! Pepe has had all his vaccinations and he has been neutered. He is calm when needed and when it is

time, he likes to get­up­and­ go. He loves to play and go on long walks. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es Timmy and Tommy. These two pure white male kittens are currently being bottle fed and were rescued when they were just five days old.

They are now nearly four weeks old and can be reserved. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

RITA Rita is a four year old Chihuahua cross with a feisty personality. She was found injured by the side of the road and had suffered a fractured pelvis due to a hit and run. Fortunately she is now very fit and healthy so is ready to be homed. She is fine with other dogs and people.

Please contact K9 or

TIMMY AND TOMMY

TRUCO Truco is an eight year old male Yorkshire terrier, who is fully vaccinated, castrated and his passport is up­to­ date. He is very affectionate and good with other dogs.

He just wishes for his forever home. To see Truco, please phone 634 065 540 or E­ m a i l lasthopedogrescue@out­ look.com

how happy the public see these dogs with me and how deep our relationships are, they think:­ “Ah, that dog is fine, we will rescue a dog from elsewhere”. I know that’s the answer but some­ thing needs to change.

For three years now I have written column after column, with hardly no feed­ back or response whatsoev­ er, but dare you write about something that a few people disagree with, and you will get hounded. I remember something I wrote about a year ago and some people disagreed. My phone did not stop ringing, e­mails came flooding in and I was treated like the worst person in the world, even by this newspa­ per, when a damning head­ line appeared the following week about me!

My life is dogs. I live for dogs and dogs are my drug, I am a dog addict and how anyone can throw com­ ments at me about being uncaring is totally scan­ dalous. I would die for dogs

and that is a fact and not some rubbish that I am just saying. I am passionate about my beliefs and that includes my love for dogs. It would be nice if these peo­ ple who discredit me actual­ ly realised the good work that my wife and I are doing and did something to help, rather than having too much time on their hands and being professional gos­ sipers. www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals.

Our charity registration num­ ber is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogy­ ouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you.

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Friday 14th November 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

POPPY THANKS

WHY DO BRITS QUIT?

I read your article last week, “Brits Quit”, with inter­ est over the huge falls in ex­ pats over here registering on the local pardons. I was fas­ cinated to see that some 40 thousand Brits had gone away but what I don’t under­ stand is what the heck are they expecting back in good old Blighty? The cost of liv­ ing is far higher and that

The Poppy offer time tra­ ditionally runs from 14th October to 14th November each year. In that short peri­ od of time, millions of people all over the world have been donating to The Royal British Legion’s Poppy Appeal and wearing their poppies to remember the sacrifices made by those who have given so much for our freedom.

This year, being the cente­ nary of the start of WW1, has brought home to us the absolute horror of war and the impact that it has on all

those involved. The Royal British Legion spends £1.4m each week on welfare assis­ tance. Here in Spain we raised almost 173,000€ last year and this money assists those who have served in the British Armed Forces. To contact our Welfare Co­ordi­ nator, please ring 676 451 780. For all other enquires, ring 648 680 251.

All of us involved with the Legion thank the many members, friends, organisa­ tions and businesses who contribute as your help enables us to continue the

work of this great Charity.

This year we have been contacted by more schools and colleges in Spain asking for boxes of poppies and information about the Charity.

Peggy Wyatt, Vice Chairman The Royal British Legion in Spain District North.

Pictured is a family getting their poppies from members of the Gran Alacant and La Marina Branch of the RBL, with Harry and Max sporting their Legion wristbands.

STUFF THEM ALL I wonder if the rest of your readers will agree with me that you can smell the stench of next spring’s local and regional elections a mile away. Every single town hall or regional gov­ ernment seems to be announcing good news on everything, be it the much needed new school build­

ing in Rojales; home legali­ sation in Catral; or this that or another on the Orihuela Costa. Where has all the money mysteriously come from? Meanwhile all the opposition parties are promising the earth and slagging off those in charge, as we all throw up our hands in horror! I sus­

pect that a whole of load of gurning goons from all political shades of opinion will be popping up from behind my bushes in the next few months and I’ll just tell the whole load to go and take a running jump.

Name and address supplied

applies to pretty much everything across the board.

Your report quoted regional experts as saying that it was due to Spanish increases in charges for health provision, but I can’t work that one out.

You would have been crazy coming out here in the first place without a SIP card or full private cover, so it hardly sounds like the reason to

me. Perhaps it’s down to the lack of live music and enter­ tainment that got everybody so hot under the collar dur­ ing the summer, with talk of a mass exodus if nobody could hear a fifth­rate drunk­ en singer taking the micro­ phone at a karaoke?

JOHN COOPER Playa Flamenca

14

Friday 14th November 2014

BE A HONEST TEACHER

I recently became involved in a conversation on a social network site where someone was asking if anyone working in a certain bank in a couple of local towns spoke English. I stated that maybe the person concerned could learn Spanish as then there would be no need for questions like hers! As I’ve written many times before on that social net­ work thread, I am fed up with British people here insisting that Spaniards speak English because they are too lazy to learn the language. I was called unkind over that series of postings by the woman who had initially asked the question as though I was the one at fault for pointing out that we don´t actually live in the UK and are not natives, however this isn´t the exact point of what I have to write about this week. It is rather about another comment she made about having had Spanish lessons for five years but that she would rather use a translator or English speaking staff for banking or other important tasks. I don´t want to embarrass this particular person; even though the only ones who would know who she was, are those involved in the conversation; but the few simple sentences that she did write in Spanish were littered with basic mistakes. I tried to explain that if she had in fact been having Spanish lessons for five years then I would expect her level to be higher and suggested changing her teacher!

This raised a serious point about learning in general. Of course the student must be prepared to study and learn, but the teacher must encourage the whole process, and to do it well. I have students that are progressing at different speeds and it tends to come down to how much they are prepared to do outside the classroom. All of my team improving, whether in English or in Spanish and if I feel a student isn´t taking the classes seriously, then I ask them if they want to continue. It took me a long time to learn Spanish but within five years, even with a full time job and a young son, I was

speaking fluently.

So my point this week is about people taking money for not actually doing their job. I am well aware that if a student isn´t putting the time in, then the teacher is not necessarily to blame but how many of us would keep taking money from someone who wasn´t improving in whatever they were doing? It comes down to basic ethics and I have explained to many students, some more than once, that if they do not work hard they will not improve and they are wasting their time and money. I have something that is maybe lacking in some professionals and that is integrity. I cannot just collect cash for doing nothing as I want my students to improve. I want to sit in the class speaking in the language I am teach­ ing that particular student, and not in their mother tongue. I want them to succeed and so, sometimes, I may be a bit harsh or strict with them but it works and all my students are seeing their level increase.

I was reminded of a friend many years ago who knew someone that had been having lessons for a few years.

Every week for an hour, the teacher would come to her house and give her a lesson, but afterwards the homework was left until about half an hour before the next lesson and not a book was opened nor a word of Spanish spoken. This

particular teacher was charging fifteen euros an hour and my friend and I worked out that this woman had paid over a thousand euros in lesson fees and yet was still unable to string a basic sentence together. It was incredible that she had had so many lessons and was still a complete novice but it was also incredible that her tutor was still taking her money for doing nothing. Our responsibility of course rests with ourselves, but as a teacher, my responsibility lies with my pupils, and if they aren´t learning then I am failing.

So, those of you who are about to turn to my Spanish les­ son next in The Courier, I hope you enjoy it, pay close atten­ tion and will learn from it. For those of you who will skip past it, maybe think about the country in which you are living and maybe take that first step into the Spanish language. It´s only as scary as you let it be, but if you decide not to learn, then don´t please expect the native people here to speak your language because they shouldn’t have to. I´m proud to be British but that doesn´t mean I can´t appreciate other cul­ tures and languages, especially those in the country in which I live. It´s a shame there are so many out here that don´t feel the same. I´ll finish with a comment on the social media thread that annoyed me so much, that I disabled any notifications and didn´t read it anymore! One contributor had the audacity to state that as someone who doesn´t speak the language, she is giving work to translators and the such­ like. I find this sort of statement incredibly condescending to the Spanish and to those of us who are trying to integrate.

It´s right up there with, I spend my pension here they owe us!

Really? Trust me when I say the Spanish owe us nothing, but we owe them a great deal for allowing us to come and live in this beautiful country and enjoy their fantastic hospi­ tality. Whatever some British may think, the world does not revolve around us, and we should show a bit more humility and accept that we are the foreigners here.

15

Friday 14th November 2014

TWISTS AND TURNS

Politicians never lie! Of course not! It seemed like Freaky Friday last week when George Osborne tri­ umphantly revealed that he got massive concessions from the EU over the UK having to cough up 1.7 bil­ lion quid by December 1st.

Then we found he was telling porkies because Britain was entitled to rebates which slashed the sum in half anyway and so he had a slight of hand that Paul Daniels would have been proud of. Meanwhile back home on the same day, key Labour Party offi­ cials were being wheeled out to say that there was no plot to get rid of Ed Miliband as leader. The one thing we learn from history is that when people deny there’s a plot, you can bet the Crown Jewels on the fact that there is one. The smart money is that Ed Balls (who doesn’t get on with Miliband) is pulling the strings with his wife Yvette Cooper being

put forward as an alternative with previous leadership can­ didate, Andy Burnham sign­ ing up not to stand against her but to be promised rich­ es if he backs Mrs. Balls. No wonder that people are looking to vote SNP in Scotland and UKIP else­ where at the next election if they continue to be treated as fools with a tis­ sue of lies and deception that bring politics further into disrepute.

The Rochester and Strood by­election happens next Thursday and you can absolutely guarantee that UKIP will win with Tory­ defector, Mark Reckless,

becoming the party’s sec­ ond MP. The big question is how many more Tories and perhaps more importantly for UKIP, how many Labour MPs will jump ship with the General Election at the start of May? I suspect that self­

interest will prevail as some itchy Tories may well feel safer with Labour sliding in the latest opinion polls, but will the master of political PR, Nigel Farage, pull out a Labour defector to add more salt into the very open

wounds of Ed Miliband?

It would just about add the icing to the top of the cake for UKIP in a year that has surpassed even their own expectations, and certainly mine.

Doesn’t time fly as you get older, and it was extraordinary to think that last weekend was the 25th anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down in a symbolic end to East German tyranny and the final nail in the coffin for the Soviet Union and its puppet com­ munist states. But where are we now? Despite his poor health, the visionary ex­Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev, had some inter­

esting things to say in a BBC interview last week­ end. He said that over the last 25 years that the “West had succumbed to tri­ umphalism” and I think he may have a point, as he warns of a new Cold War with Russia, unless a dia­ logue is opened. Ever since the changes, the West has not done enough to make Russia more of an equal partner in a missed opportu­ nity, and I believe that has led and encouraged Vladimir Putin to seize power, operating almost like an old­style Soviet boss.

Much as a lot of his actions leave a lot to be desired, like over the Ukraine, trying to talk is going to be a lot easier than other alterna­ tives. It takes two to tango though, and I suspect the ex­KGB operator quite likes his power, which could be put to better use like joining the West in fighting off the IS militants in the Middle East.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN BURGLED. Statistics in Spain Crime rates in Spain remain among the lowest in the EU according to the latest Interior Ministry crime report. However, since the economic crisis began in 2008, there has been a steep increase in domestic burglaries and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of bur­ glaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The message to expat residents is not to panic. There are some simple precautions to take, as you would back in the UK, such as fitting security grills, installing exterior lights and alarms, being careful about what content is posted on social networks, especially anything to do with trips and holidays away from home. It also helps to take out a quality home insurance policy that will cover your home and its con­ tents should any unfortunate incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgled As soon as you discover you’ve been burgled, whether it’s a break­in or theft at your home, first call the police. Don’t touch anything until they arrive. A police report will be needed to process your claim.

Then secure your home to avoid further damage, board up any broken windows, make a list of damaged or missing belongings, detail the damage to your home resulting from the burglary, taking photographs of damaged windows or door.

At this point, you can call the claims department of your home insurance company. We advise you to have your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea Directa We understand that your peace­of­mind is important, especially in your home. Our claims department will take a full statement of the circumstances of the incident. We will check the insurance coverage with you explaining all the procedures. If emergency repairs are required from locksmiths to glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your claim and get things back to normal as soon as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in Spain are rel­ atively small compared to other EU countries, however should you be burgled, your home­ owner’s insurance policy will cover the loss or destruction of personal property if it’s stolen from your home.

Hold-up outside the home In many cases, your home insurance policy may cover you for any incidents that occur outside your home. Should you be the victim of a hold­up outside your premises your per­ sonal belongings are covered. We will ensure replacement documents are quickly and efficiently dealt with, and if required, arrange the locks on your home to be changed.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday 14th November 2014

SIR HUMPHREY WOULD BE PROUD REMEMBER that fantas­ tic TV series "Yes Minister, with great characters like Sir Humphrey Appleby advising the hapless minis­ ter, Jim Hacker? Well, I hear they´re reviving it with a European twist and I am offering to write the first script. It goes something like this:­ PM: We´re in a bit of a fix over here in Britain. We´ve got more and more people in the UK furious with the EU and want to get out. If I can´t show I´ve got enough balls to take you on and win I´m going to be hammered in the 2015 elections.

EU bureaucrat: Yes we´ve been watching events. We don´t want Britain to quit the EU, after all we want to keep taking your money ­ in exchange we make you look big and important.

How about if we come up with a massive demand for extra payment and then you can come in like a knight in shining armour and slay us.

Would cutting the demand in half be about right?

PM: Yes, that sounds like a plan.

EU bureaucrat: We´ll fix the figures so that it appears Britain has to pay a fortune and it´s all going to France and Germany. That will really get the British vot­ ers going.

PM: You´ll have to make it all sound convincing. The GDP of other countries includes the sex and drug industry, so how about tax­ ing Britain for that? Then after a few weeks I could announce drastic new measures to fight all this nastiness. That will win back a few Tory voters.

EU bureaucrat: You get

your rebate any­ way, so what we´ll do is charge you £1.7bn, then you come in thump­ ing your fist on the table, and say you´re not going to pay, well not now, anyway.

Then we all pre­ tend you´ve done some tough bar­ gaining and we say we´ve agreed to cut the bill to £850m which is what you would have paid anyway.

PM: Do you think the British public will buy it?

EU bureaucrat: You´ve just got to keep saying how big a victory you have achieved. The harder part will be placating the French and Germans when they hear they´re not going to get quite so much British money.

Well, there it is folks, pol­ itics at its best! Why is it that politicians find it so hard to offer transparency.

All we need to know is how much Britain has to pay into the EU every year, forget­ ting any rebate crap, and how much we actually get back in return ­ without all the spin and half­truths.

Eurosceptic Tory MEP Daniel Hannan has summed up the fiasco admirably. He said: "If Brussels had come to us and said you are going to have to pay £850m ­ enough to hire and fund the pensions of 30,000 nurses ­ it would have caused out­ rage.

And what we have done instead is we've pretended

that the rebate didn't apply, we've gone up to a much higher figure, we've then reapplied the rebate, come back to the figure that there was all along and claimed a victory. I think that is insult­ ing our intelligence."

These are not the words of UKIP leader Nigel Farage but of a Tory MEP. British politics is rotten to the core and it stinks. It´s no wonder that British voters in their millions want change.

ANOTHER thing that needs to be sorted in British politics is that May´s General Election will be decided by the votes in no more than about 65 con­ stituencies. And that´s sad.

Although politicians have tinkered with changing the electoral system for other elections, UK politicians are adamant there should be no change to the first past the post system at Westminster. And that means that there´s very lit­ tle point anyone voting to try to effect a change in either rock solid Tory or rock solid Labour strongholds. It comes down to what hap­

pens on the day in those key marginals, which swing like pendulums between Tory and Labour and it is these which will decide whether it´s Cameron back for a further five years, or Miliband (God help us) entering Number 10. Of course, muddying the waters big time next year will be the strength of the UKIP vote and with voters deserting Lib Dems by the droves, it may be either the Conservatives or Labour wooing Nigel Farage, who could hold the balance of power. And wouldn´t that be interesting! Either way, the British electoral system needs shaking up because at present the majority of Brits who live in the "strong­ holds" might as well not bother to turn up ­ unless, of course, they want to inflict massive collateral damage on the two­party system.

There´s always hope!

THERE are some apolo­ gies for human beings, and a classic example is Alan Knight. This miserable man is an absolute disgrace. Not only is he a fraudster, he´s

a low­life benefit cheat. He used every trick in the book to con his frail neighbour out of £40,000, and then escaped justice by pretending to be in a coma.

Finally justice caught up with this low life, after for years conning his frail neigh­ bour, 86, who was suffering from dementia.

Then, when the net was closing in, he blamed his estranged son for the crime and claimed he was in a vegetative state. He pulled the wool over the eyes of the police, doctors and council staff. His wife Helen, 33, claimed she had to care for her husband who had snapped his neck after falling backwards as he pulled down a garage door.

However, he was caught on CCTV at the Severn bridge toll on the M4 as he trav­ elled back from the south coast. He was also on CCTV in Tesco stores across the country after police traced the use of the family's loyalty club card.

Officers tried at least twice to bring him to court but each time he admitted him­ self to hospital claiming his condition had worsened.

Jailing him for four and a half years, a judge said Knight was 'as dishonest a man as I have ever come across' who would 'stop at nothing in order to try and save his own skin'. In my book that´s nothing like long enough. It should be at least double and hard

labour too. We´re far too lenient with this trash of society and the longer we´re a soft touch, the longer it will go on.

MY wife and I went out to dinner with two other cou­ ples last week and all was well until about a third of the way through the meal.

There we were, having a good time in good company, when our conservation was shattered by a "singer" blasting out. It became increasingly difficult to hold any conversation, and we were reduced to shouting at each other over the din. It was made far worse for me because the singer was attempting to sing many numbers I loved from when I was a teenager. I still have some of the original 45 rpm singles! I was furious. Why do these old timers, whose voices have deteriorated at the same rate as their sex appeal, fail to realise their time is up and just melt away into the sunset? If I want to go to a restaurant, I go there to have a meal. If I want to be entertained by a singer, I go to a dinner/dance (which means a time for eating and a time to enjoy music), or to a con­ cert. A plague of curses on these singers who still think they can sing in their 70s as they did in their youth. They can´t, and they just make an abortion of a great song.

If I want to enjoy listening to music from my youth I can hear them any time on YouTube, sung by original artistes, not by tenth rate has­beens. Restaurants, please take note. Save your money and knock a euro or two off the price of your meals and let us enjoy your food.

Friday 14th November 2014

17

Friday 14th November 2014

18

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 148

How is your Spanish coming along? You may have read my column earlier in The Courier this week in which I emphasised the importance in spending time studying and also in choosing a good tutor who will push you and not just take your money without helping you learn. Of course we all learn at different levels, some have a lot of time to devote, others have more confidence but we can all get there in the end, if we study and si tenemos las ganas.

Spanish is something you have to want. Your teacher, friends, colleagues can only do so much, after that it´s up to you to push. I have been quite force­ ful with some students, but I do it because I want them to learn and achieve their full potential, because we can all learn, it just takes some of us longer.

This week we are going to continue with another useful verb, one that will be heard a lot if you speak with Spanish people. The verb is: sobrar which means to be left over, to be in surplus, to remain, to be not needed. There are a lot of different ways in which this verb can be used.

Sobrar is a completely regular verb which I hope you remember how to conjugate. Here are a few examples of sentences to use it showing the conjugation and putting it into context: Sobra uno – there´s one too many/there´s one left; sobran dos; there are two too many/ there are two left; esta pieza sobra – this piece is spare/left over; más vale que sobre que no que falte – better too much than too little; Nos van a

sobrar dos euros porque tenemos que divider doce euros por igual entre cinco personas – we are going to have two euros over because we have to divide twelve euros equally between five people; con este dinero sobrará – this money

will be more than enough; por este lado sobra – there´s too much on this side; ha sobrado mucha comida – there´s a lot of food left over; al terminar me sobraba medio metro – when I finished I had half a metre left over; nos sobra tiempo – we have plenty of time; ¿Cuánto dinero le sobró a usted?

– how much money did you have left over?; me sobraron diez euros – I had ten euros left.

Although the verb means to be left over it can also mean enough when used in the following types of expressions:

eso sobra – that´s enough, and it´s common to hear it being used on its own as bueno, sobra, or similar expressions.

As I teach both English and Spanish, I become more and more aware of the differences between the languages. I have spent time studying them both in more detail than most people normally study, since those of us who are native speakers don´t need to think about the grammar or sound of our language, as we just know it is correct! When it comes to learning a language, it is important to know different structures and forms, phrases and what a noun, verb or adjective actually is. But learn­ ing a language comes down to more than that. It comes down to a feeling, knowing that the words you are using are correct because of the sound of them, and realising that Spanish is a strong language full of hard sounds, whereas English is more gentle. It is more like singing than talking; it´s soft­ er and the words join together so two words become one. When you are speaking Spanish try and adopt the attitude along with the language and you will sound more fluent. Keep the sounds hard and remember the sounds that don´t exist in English such as the J and G sounds and of course the RR, even the single R is a harder sound than in English, so try and keep the flow with the sound as well as the words. Listen to Spanish when­ ever you can and you will notice the accents and the way of speaking as well as the actual words being said.

Have a great week and keep studying hard. Every journey begins with a single step and you don´t have to see the top of the mountain to know it exists. Have fun and I´ll be back next week with more of the Spanish language.

Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

CAN YOU NAME THESE POLITICIANS?

answers in next weeks edition

1.

6.

11.

2.

7.

12.

3.

8.

13.

4.

9.

14.

5.

10.

15.

Last Weeks Answers: 1) Richard The Third 2) Dick Van Dyke 3) Richard Nixon 4) Richard Hammond 5) Richard Branson 6) Richard Gere 7) Richard Whiteley 8) Richard Madeley 9) Dick Chaney 10) Dick Turpin 11) Dickie Henderson 12) Dick Dastardly 13) Dickie Davis 14) Richard Attenborough 15) Richard Todd

TRELI ON THE TELLY SCULLY GOES STELLA

with ALEX TRELINSKI We really are being treated to some great British drama at the moment and filling the Peaky Blinders (back next year after a terrific finale) BBC 2 Thursday night slot, we’ve the second series of The Fall. Whilst there was a lot of justified fuss over Broadchurch last year, I thought that The Fall was just as good but without the bonus of a mainstream ITV audience. It’s a hard watch, but that should be the case in the story of a serial rapist/murderer on the loose.

The lead roles are just stun­ ningly played with Jamie Dornan as the quiet man­ nered social worker with a grim secret, on the run from

copper, Stella Gibson, in what is an acting master class from Gillian Anderson (Is it really 21 years since she first played Dana Scully on The X Files?). Add The Fall to the Tuesday night tour de force that is The Missing with James Nesbitt, and these are good times indeed before the Christmas dross hits our screens. Like with The Missing, there’s a great support cast on The Fall with the wel­ come return of Archie Panjabi (taking time off from her triumph stateside in The Good Wife) as the medical examiner. The Yanks like her so much that she’s sadly going leave her Emmy award­winning role as Kalinda on The Good Wife,

with the CBS network creat­ ing a new drama for her to star in, and deservedly so.

I saw one website last weekend asking whether Peter Capaldi is the best Doctor Who ever. It’s a bit like the old James Bond debate over whether any­ body could hold a candle to

Sean Connery (Daniel Craig can). It was a good final episode last Saturday, with some great back references notably to the Brigadier and a new way of looking at the Cybermen. For me, Capaldi is right up there with the greats in the role like Tom Baker and William Hartnell.

His ability to switch mood and pace is astounding and I also applaud the overall darker tone of the show, though there is still plenty of humour as well.

Downton Abbey (renewed for next year…what a sur­ prise!) finished on a blinder on Sunday with a nasty attempt to scupper Rose’s wedding; Isis the dog being bumped off behind the scenes; Mrs. Bates being banged up on a charge of killing her rapist; and Thomas giving a helping hand to a footman who’d been conned in a gambling den. I thor­ oughly enjoyed this series and there seemed to be a lot more of Maggie Smith in it, which is always good!

Speculation abounds that Downton could finish next year with Julian Fellowes committed to an American project, but finishing on a high could be a good thing, though the sound of money pouring into the production company’s coffers may keep it going a bit longer.

Meanwhile, we do have the Xmas special to look forward to.

And a quick mention for the US action/drama series The Last Ship which has just finished on Sky One. Get a box set for ten well­crafted episodes about a sub on a mission to rescue the world from a killer virus. It goes in directions that you just don’t expect and with no hype, it’s one of the most entertaining new American shows of the year, and has you screaming out at the end for next sum­ mer’s second series.

20

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

FRIDAY

14th NOVEMBER

00:35 Looking After Mum: A Children in Need Special 01:35 Holiday Weatherview 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Children in Need 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Children in Need

00:15 The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 01:15 Panorama 02:00 This Is BBC Two 05:00 The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England 06:00 Schools ­ Human Planet: Change and Sustainability KS3 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Call the Council 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 The £100K House: Tricks of the Trade 11:05 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Coast 13:10 Animal Park 14:10 The Life of Birds 15:00 Live Tennis: ATP World Tour Finals 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Home That Two Built 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 22:00 The London Markets 23:00 Children in Need 23:35 Newsnight

00:25 The Chase

00:00 Family Guy

00:30 Dolly Parton: Platinum Blonde 01:30 Barry Manilow at the BBC 02:30 Arena 03:30 Puppy Love 04:00 Queen Victoria's Letters: A Monarch Unveiled 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood 22:00 Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music 23:00 Bob Harris: My Nashville

01:45 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 Scorpion 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Emmerdale 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Emmerdale 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:05 You've Been Framed!

18:30 You've Been Framed!

19:00 Royal Pains 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 22:00 Ocean's Eleven

00:25 Family Guy 00:45 Family Guy 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 02:30 Life Is Toff 03:00 People Like Us 04:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Motorway Cops 22:00 Face/Off

DON’T MISS

CHILDREN IN NEED Friday 14th Nov From 20:30 - BBC 1 & 2

Last year CiN raised an astonishing £31 million on the night, con­ founding all those pessimists who thought the nation wouldn’t be eager to put its hand in its pocket again. But it’s a great cause and, assuming you’re not busy raising money yourself by creating a giant Pudsey Bear out of old socks or attempting a sponsored 24­hour custard sit­in while dressed as a superhero, you’re in for a marathon six and a half hours of entertainment, too.

01:25 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Secrets from the Sky 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 GoldenEye

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:50 24 Hours in Police Custody 01:55 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 02:45 One Born Every Minute 03:35 Unreported World 04:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 04:55 Location, Location, Location 05:55 Win It Cook It 06:20 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 11:55 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:35 Unreported World 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Rome: The World's First Superpower 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Underground Britain 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher: The Unknown Heart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 World War II in Colour 21:00 Rome: The World's First Superpower 22:00 Alex Polizzi's Secret Italy 23:00 Body of Proof

00:00 The Vice

01:00 Jaws III 03:00 Cheers 03:25 Cheers 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Matches 07:10 Cheers 07:35 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 15:00 The Professionals 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:30 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Firefox

01:35 Inspector Morse 03:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Wild at Heart 09:20 Wycliffe 10:30 Judge Judy 10:55 Judge Judy 11:20 Judge Judy 11:50 Inspector Morse 13:55 Heartbeat 15:00 Wild at Heart 16:00 Wycliffe 17:10 Second Thoughts 17:40 Fresh Fields 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe 21:00 Wycliffe 22:00 Love Your Garden 23:00 The Little House

21

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

SATURDAY

15th NOVEMBER

03:00 Weather for the Week

00:05 Weather

23:35 Mrs Brown's Boys

02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 00:10 Never Mind the USA Buzzcocks 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate 00:40 Later ­ with Jools Challenge Holland 07:25 Pat & Stan 01:40 Michael Collins 07:35 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's 03:45 Question Time Adventures 04:45 This Is BBC Two 07:50 Dino Dan: Trek's 07:05 My Forbidden Past Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:15 Live International 08:10 Canimals Rugby League 08:20 Signed Stories 11:00 The Life of Birds 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated 11:50 Animal Park Series 12:20 Coast 08:50 Matt Hatter Chronicles 13:00 Rick Stein's Far Eastern 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 The Munch Box Odyssey 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 14:00 Escape to the Country 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 15:00 Live Tennis: ATP World 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather Tour Finals 12:30 Storage Hoarders 18:00 Live International 13:30 Surprise Surprise 14:30 Faith in the Future Rugby Union 15:00 Doc Martin 20:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 16:05 Keep It in the Family 17:05 ITV Meridian Weather 21:00 Perry and Croft: Made 17:30 Live International in Britain Football 21:30 Dad's Army 20:15 The Chase 21:15 The X Factor 22:00 QI XL 22:55 The Jonathan Ross 22:45 War of Words: Soldier­ Show Poets of the Somme 23:55 ITV News and Weather

00:10 Toast of London 00:40 Psycho 02:45 The Divide 04:35 Location, Location, Location 05:35 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 06:30 Win It Cook It 06:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:05 NFL: Rush Zone 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:25 River Rat Race Stockton 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Frasier 11:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 The Simpsons 13:30 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:05 Speed with Guy Martin 21:00 Walking Through History 22:00 It Was Alright in the 1970s 23:00 Chronicle

00:00 NCIS: Los Angeles 00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Miracle Babies 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:45 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Wanda and the Alien 09:30 Zack and Quack 09:45 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:00 Jelly Jamm 10:15 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:50 Access 10:55 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 11:55 Alex Polizzi's Secret Italy 12:55 The Christmas Heart 14:40 Help for Christmas 16:20 Christmas Mail 18:10 A Grandpa for Christmas 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Battle of Britain 22:35 The Wild Geese

00:15 00:40 01:00 01:20 03:05 03:35 04:05 04:35 05:00 20:00 20:30 Union 21:30 22:15 23:50

00:00 Brad Paisley and Friends 01:00 Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music 02:00 John Denver at Wembley Arena 02:40 Bob Harris: My Nashville 03:40 Brad Paisley and Friends 04:40 Close 20:00 Swarm: Nature's Incredible Invasions 21:00 The Riviera: A History in Pictures 22:00 Inspector Montalbano 23:35 Krakatoa Revealed

00:25 Dapper Laughs: On the

00:00 The Vice

00:50 Runaway Train

Pull

01:40 The Life of David Gale

03:05 River Monsters

00:55 Two and a Half Men

03:55 World Kitchen

04:00 Teleshopping

Ahead 03:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 International Rugby League 15:00 Live International Rugby Union 17:30 Children in Need 18:50 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:10 Pointless Celebrities 20:00 Strictly Come Dancing 21:30 Atlantis 22:15 Casualty 23:05 The National Lottery Live 23:15 BBC News; Weather

Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy Shanghai Knights Sweat the Small Stuff Some Girls Some Girls Comedy Feeds Close World's Craziest Fools International Rugby Top Gear Sherlock Family Guy

DON’T MISS

DESPICABLE ME Saturday 15th Nov 18:45 - ITV2

01:25 Two and a Half Men 01:50 Two and a Half Men 02:15 Dapper Laughs: On the Pull

04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 The Darling Buds of

07:00 World of Sport: TV Firsts 07:10 Cheers 07:35 Cheers

May

08:00 Cheers

08:00 1914 All Out

08:25 Motorsport UK

06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

09:40 The Royal

09:25 Bundesliga Football

07:00 Emmerdale

10:40 The Royal

Highlights

09:40 Coronation Street

11:45 The Darling Buds of

10:25 UEFA Champions

12:15 You've Been Framed!

May

13:15 Twister

12:55 The Darling Buds of

15:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me

May

Championship Highlights

14:00 Columbo: Murder with

12:25 GT Academy

Too Many Notes

13:00 The Professionals

15:55 A Touch of Frost

14:05 Billion Dollar Brain

17:55 Agatha Christie's

16:15 Alias Smith and Jones

02:40 Fake Reaction 03:20 Teleshopping

Out of Here Now! 16:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

Animated comedy featuring the voice of Steve Carell. Behind the 17:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me seemingly tranquil façade of small­town America, super­criminal Gru Out of Here Now! plots his biggest heist yet: to steal the Moon. But an encounter with 18:45 Despicable Me orphan sisters Margo, Edith and Agnes proves that even the most das­ 20:40 Dungeons & Dragons tardly villain has a soft centre.

04:20 ITV3 Nightscreen

Marple 20:00 Rosemary & Thyme

League Weekly 11:00 Minder 12:00 World Rally

17:50 Alias Smith and Jones 18:55 The War Wagon 21:00 Storage Wars

22:55 The Xtra Factor

21:00 Doc Martin

21:30 Storage Wars

23:55 Celebrity Juice

22:00 Midsomer Murders

22:00 Never Say Never Again

22

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

SUNDAY

16th NOVEMBER

00:05 National Lottery Update

00:09 ITV Meridian Weather 00:10 International Football Highlights 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Pat & Stan 07:40 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 08:05 Canimals 08:10 Canimals 08:20 Signed Stories 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:50 Ultimate Spider­Man 09:15 Horrid Henry 09:30 Big Time Rush 10:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!

10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:34 ITV Meridian Weather 12:35 Carry On Cowboy 14:25 All Star Family Fortunes 15:10 The Unforgettable 15:50 The X Factor 17:25 Downton Abbey 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 20:00 Keep It in the Family 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:40 ITV News and Weather 23:55 Broadmoor

00:40 Max Payne

Showtime

00:15 TOTP2 01:15 Down Terrace 02:45 Undertow 04:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 07:30 Great British Garden Revival 08:30 Countryfile 09:40 Glorious Gardens from Above 10:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 12:45 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:30 Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odyssey 14:30 International Rugby Union 15:25 Up Periscope 17:15 Glorious Gardens from Above 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Live Tennis: ATP World Tour Finals 20:00 Human Universe 21:00 The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 22:00 World's Greatest Food Markets 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 The Wrong Mans

in the Game

01:15 Gotham 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 The Gadget Show 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 07:30 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:35 Seaside Antics 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Olly the Little White Van 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:45 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Zack and Quack 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:20 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:55 Access 11:05 Police Interceptors 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 The Good Witch's Charm 14:55 A Star for Christmas 16:40 Farewell Mr Kringle 18:25 Dumb and Dumber 20:30 5 News Weekend 20:40 Superman II 23:00 Conan the Barbarian

00:10 Family Guy 00:50 Family Guy 01:15 Family Guy 01:40 Family Guy 02:00 Family Guy 02:25 Life Is Toff 02:55 The Revolution Will Be Televised 03:25 Sweat the Small Stuff 03:55 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 04:55 Close 20:00 Live Tennis: ATP World Tour Finals 22:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 23:00 Family Guy 23:25 Family Guy 23:45 Life Is Toff

00:25 Swarm: Nature's Incredible Invasions 01:25 Guitar Heroes at the BBC 02:25 Deep Purple ­ Made in Japan 03:25 Sounds of the Eighties 04:00 The Riviera: A History in Pictures 05:00 Close 20:00 The Great War 20:40 Britain's Wildest Places 20:50 Britain's Wildest Places 21:00 Congo Calling: An African Orchestra in Britain 22:00 The Sky at Night 23:00 Pop Go the Sixties 23:15 Mark Lawson Talks To

00:40 The X Factor

00:00 A Touch of Frost

00:45 Klitschko

02:15 The Xtra Factor

01:45 Bomb Girls

03:00 The Professionals

02:30 World Kitchen

03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen

00:05 Jack Whitehall Live 01:05 EastEnders 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Escape to the Country 14:45 Gareth's All Star Choir 15:45 Gareth's All Star Choir 16:45 Points of View 17:00 Lifeline 17:10 Songs of Praise 17:45 Life Story 18:45 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Countryfile 20:15 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 War Horse 23:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:45 Michael McIntyre's

DON’T MISS

WAR HORSE Sunday 16th Nov 21:00 - BBC1

Steven Spielberg's adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's First World War drama, starring David Thewlis, Emily Watson and Jeremy irvine.

Dartmoor, 1914: when Ted Narracott buys a thoroughbred horse for his farm, his son Albert soon bonds with the animal who he names Joey.

However, when the harvest fails and war is declared on Germany, Ted is forced to sell Joey to the British Army. Albert enlists but can he and Joey survive to be reunited?

03:10 Fake Reaction

02:30 Shell 04:05 Hollyoaks 06:15 Location, Location, Location 07:10 NFL: The American Football Show 08:05 How I Met Your Mother 08:30 How I Met Your Mother 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Jamie's Comfort Food 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:20 Channel 4 Racing 16:40 17 Again 18:45 Mirror Mirror 20:40 Channel 4 News 21:00 Speed with Guy Martin 22:00 Homeland 23:00 Micky Flanagan: Back

03:50 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen

02:55 Movies Now

04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Cheers

07:00 The Hot Desk

03:05 ITV3 Nightscreen

07:10 Life's Funniest

03:30 Teleshopping

Moments

07:00 A Touch of Frost

07:30 Emmerdale

08:50 Agatha Christie's

09:15 Ax Men

Marple

10:15 Billion Dollar Brain

10:50 Heartbeat

12:25 World Rally

15:30 Free Willy 2: the

11:55 Heartbeat

Championship Highlights

Adventure Home

12:55 Inspector Morse

17:25 King Kong

15:00 Rosemary & Thyme

10:25 Coronation Street

07:25 Cheers

12:50 The X Factor 14:25 The Xtra Factor

21:00 Scorpion 22:00 The Xtra Factor

07:50 Cheers 08:10 Alias Smith and Jones

13:00 Rooster Cogburn 15:10 The War Wagon 17:15 Cheyenne Autumn

16:00 George and Mildred 20:25 Live International 17:55 Columbo: Any Old Port

23:00 You've Been Framed!

Football

in a Storm

23:00 Storage Wars

23:40 I'm a Celebrity Get Me

19:55 Inspector Morse

23:30 International Football

Out of Here Now!

22:00 Lewis

Highlights

23:30 The Hot Desk

23

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

MONDAY

17th NOVEMBER

00:45 The Apprentice 01:45 Repo Chick 03:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Room 101 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Panorama

00:00 The Wrong Mans 00:30 Regeneration 02:20 Countryfile 03:35 Holby City 04:35 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Call the Council 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 11:05 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:10 The Life of Birds 15:00 The Great British Bake Off 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 The Rockford Files 17:35 Cagney & Lacey 18:20 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Tom Kerridge's Best Ever Dishes 20:30 Children's Hospital: The Chaplains 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 Intruders 22:45 Some People with Jokes 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:55 Premiership Rugby Union 01:50 The Store 03:20 Motorsport UK 04:15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Agenda

00:40 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:40 The Big Bang Theory 02:05 According to Jim 02:25 American Football Live 05:45 NFL: Rush Zone 06:10 SuperScrimpers 06:25 Deal or No Deal 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Sarah Beeny's How to Sell Your Home 22:00 24 Hours in Police Custody 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Toast of London

01:15 Chaos 03:05 SuperCasino 04:10 Mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Rome: The World's First Superpower 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 A Christmas Visitor 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 The Missing Evidence 22:00 Gotham 23:00 Under the Dome 23:55 Set Up

00:15 Face/Off

00:15 Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music 01:15 Bob Harris: My Nashville 02:15 Brad Paisley and Friends 03:15 John Denver at Wembley Arena 03:55 Congo Calling: An African Orchestra in Britain 04:55 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Lost Cities of the Ancients 22:00 Dancing Cheek to Cheek: An Intimate History of Dance 23:00 The Kate Bush Story: Running Up That Hill

00:45 Educating Joey Essex: Reem Halloween 01:45 Two and a Half Men 02:05 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Dads 02:55 The Vampire Diaries 03:40 Teleshopping 06:40 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:50 Royal Pains 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:55 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:35 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Tricked 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:00 01:00 02:05 03:00 03:25 03:45 04:10 04:40 07:00 07:25 08:25 09:25 10:35 11:00 11:25 11:55 13:55 15:00 16:00 17:10 17:40 18:15 18:50 19:50 21:00 22:00

01:00 Life of Ryan: Caretaker Manager 02:00 River Monsters 03:00 Jean­Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 World of Sport: Petrol Heads 07:15 Cheers 07:40 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:30 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Premiership Rugby Union 21:00 Storage Wars 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Storage Wars 22:30 Storage Wars 23:00 Ax Men

02:25 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:55 People Like Us 03:55 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:25 Life Is Toff 04:55 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Pop's Greatest Dance Crazes 21:15 The Proposal 23:00 Some Girls 23:30 EastEnders

DON’T MISS

FAKE BRITAIN Monday 17th Nov 20:30 - BBC1

10/20. Matt Allwright investigates fraudulent fundraising websites that steal money from those who need it most, and the bogus horse pass­ ports placing young riders in danger. Plus, a look at furniture consid­ ered a fire hazard, and how a Fake Britain investigation led to a national recall of illegal and dangerous mattresses.

William and Mary William and Mary Wycliffe Judge Judy Judge Judy World Kitchen ITV3 Nightscreen Emmerdale The Upper Hand Heartbeat Wild at Heart Wycliffe Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy A Touch of Frost Heartbeat Wild at Heart Wycliffe Second Thoughts Fresh Fields George and Mildred Heartbeat Wycliffe Doc Martin Endeavour

24

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

TUESDAY

18th NOVEMBER

00:20 Jamie Baulch: Looking for My Birth Mum 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Missing 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine

00:20 Great Continental Railway Journeys 01:20 The Apprentice 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Drink and Drugs: My Story 06:00 Life Stories 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Call the Council 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 Antiques Roadshow 11:05 Building Dream Homes 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:05 The Life of Birds 15:00 The Great British Bake Off 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 The Rockford Files 17:35 Cagney & Lacey 18:20 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom 23:00 The Walshes 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:00 Family Guy 00:00 Artworks Scotland 01:00 Sounds of the Eighties 00:25 Family Guy 01:30 Puppy Love 00:45 American Dad! 02:00 Flamenco: Gypsy Soul 01:10 American Dad! 03:00 The Kate Bush Story: Running Up That Hill 01:30 Some Girls 04:00 Dancing Cheek to 02:00 Sweat the Small Stuff Cheek: An Intimate History of 02:30 Snow, Sex and Dance Suspicious Parents 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 03:25 People Like Us 20:30 Great British Railway 04:25 Some Girls Journeys 04:55 Close 21:00 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Top Gear 21:30 National Treasures of 21:00 Free Speech Wales 22:00 Snow, Sex and 22:00 The Many Faces of Suspicious Parents 23:00 Hunt v Lauda: F1's Greatest Racing Rivals 23:00 Life Is Toff 23:30 The Revolution Will Be THE MISSING Televised

DON’T MISS

Tuesday 18th Nov 22:00 - BBC1

4/8. In 2006, the case is thrown into disarray by a murder, and Tony is horrified to realise someone he thought was a friend is not the person he claimed to be. In the present day, Julien is intent on reinvestigating the links between the dead witness and Oliver's disappearance, while raking over the past starts to take its toll on Emily and Mark's relation­ ship. Drama, starring James Nesbitt, Tcheky Karyo, Frances O'Connor and Jason Flemyng.

00:20 The Jonathan Ross Show 01:20 Jackpot247 03:30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live International Football 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:45 ITV Meridian Weather 23:45 ITV News Meridian 23:55 Hot Tub Britain

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:50 Plebs 01:20 Viral Tap 02:00 Two and a Half Men 02:25 Two and a Half Men 02:50 Two and a Half Men 03:10 Teleshopping 06:40 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 Coronation Street 09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Vampire Diaries 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:20 The IT Crowd 00:50 NFL: The American Football Show 01:50 Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani 04:30 Raiders from beneath the Sea 05:45 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 You Can't Get the Staff 23:00 Gogglebox

01:35 World's 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 200 Nips & Tucks and I Want More!

05:00 Nick's Quest 05:20 Great Scientists 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 HouseBusters 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Christmas Dance 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Madeleine McCann: A Global Obsession 21:00 There's a Rhino in My Bed! 22:00 Miracle Babies 23:00 NCIS

00:05 The Vice

00:00 Ax Men 01:00 Premiership Rugby Union 02:00 Motorsport UK 03:00 Minder 03:50 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Greatest FA Cup Finals 07:15 Cheers 07:40 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Cheers 12:25 Cheers 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 16:00 Border Security USA 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 World Rally Championship Highlights 22:00 Memphis Belle

01:45 A Touch of Frost 03:25 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Wild at Heart 09:25 Wycliffe 10:35 Judge Judy 11:00 Judge Judy 11:25 Judge Judy 11:50 A Touch of Frost 13:55 Heartbeat 15:00 Wild at Heart 16:00 Wycliffe 17:10 Faith in the Future 17:40 French Fields 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe 21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Endeavour

25

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

WEDNESDAY

19th NOVEMBER

00:50 The Painted Veil 02:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Live at the Apollo

00:20 World's Greatest Food Markets 01:20 Film 2014 01:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Gang Life: Segun's Story 05:25 Schools ­ Gang Life: Ceejay's Story 05:35 Exploring the Past: Protest 06:00 Schools ­ L8R Youngers 2 06:40 What Makes Me, Me 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council 08:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:15 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:00 Sacred Rivers with Simon Reeve 11:00 Building Dream Homes 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Lifeline 14:10 The Life of Birds 15:00 The Great British Bake Off 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 The Rockford Files 17:35 Cagney & Lacey 18:20 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

01:00 The Cube

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 American Dad! 01:30 Life Is Toff 02:00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents 03:00 Free Speech 03:55 EastEnders 04:25 The Revolution Will Be Televised 04:55 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Gavin & Stacey 21:30 World's Craziest Fools 22:00 People Like Us 23:00 Sweat the Small Stuff 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

00:00 Totally British 70s Rock 'n' Roll 01:00 Squeeze: Take Me I'm Yours 02:00 The Riviera: A History in Pictures 03:00 National Treasures of Wales 03:30 Easter Island: Mysteries of a Lost World 05:00 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Great British Railway Journeys 21:00 Horizon 22:00 Enigma 23:55 A303: Highway to the Sun

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:50 Plebs 01:20 Two and a Half Men 01:45 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 The Vampire Diaries 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 You've Been Framed!

08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 You've Been Framed!

14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 20:00 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Freshers 23:00 You've Been Framed!

23:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

DON’T MISS

SURPRISE SURPRISE Wednesday 19th Nov 21:00 - ITV1

5/7. Classical crossover star Katherine Jenkins surprises a fundrais­ ing fan with a workout he will never forget, before performing in the stu­ dio. Singer­turned­presenter Peter Andre transforms a community vol­ unteer's garden with the 60 Minute Makeover team, and an Emmerdale viewer fulfils a lifelong ambition to pull a pint in the Woolpack, as well as starring in a special scene. A mother receives a gift for her work set­ ting up a charity to support families with children suffering from a rare genetic disorder.

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Surprise Surprise 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:30 ITV News and Weather

00:00 24 Hours in A&E 01:00 Poker 02:00 Cage Warriors 02:55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:25 Trans World Sport 04:20 River Rat Race Stockton 04:45 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:40 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Posh Pawn 22:00 Liberty of London 23:00 Confessions Of

00:00 NCIS 00:55 NCIS 01:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Underground Britain 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 Great Scientists 05:50 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Police Interceptors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Christmas Comes Home to Canaan 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 23:00 Wentworth Prison

00:00 The Vice

00:10 Spy Game 02:45 River Monsters: Untold Stories 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 Greatest England World Cup Matches 07:10 Cheers 07:35 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:30 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 GT Academy 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 River Monsters: Untold Stories 23:00 First Blood

01:05 A Touch of Frost 02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Wild at Heart 09:20 Wycliffe 10:30 Judge Judy 10:55 Judge Judy 11:20 Judge Judy 11:50 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Wild at Heart 16:00 Wycliffe 17:10 Faith in the Future 17:40 French Fields 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe 21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Endeavour

26

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

THURSDAY

20th NOVEMBER

00:05 Film 2014 00:35 Obsessed 02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Moving On 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Glorious Gardens from Above 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Life Story 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Russia's Lost Princesses 01:20 Intruders 02:05 See Hear 02:35 Trust Me, I'm a Doctor 03:35 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Imagineers 05:30 Schools: Fazer's Urban Takeover 06:00 Schools ­ Spark 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Call the Council 08:50 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 10:05 Human Universe 11:05 Building Dream Homes 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Coast 14:10 The Life of Birds 15:00 The Great British Bake Off 16:00 A Place to Call Home 16:45 The Rockford Files 17:35 Cagney & Lacey 18:20 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 The Fall 23:00 Russell Howard's Good News 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 ITV Meridian Weather 00:05 ITV News Meridian 00:15 The Chase 01:10 Fool Britannia 01:35 Jackpot247 03:30 Dog Day Afternoon 05:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Spandau Ballet: True Gold

00:00 It Was Alright in the 1970s 01:00 Music Nation 01:35 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:25 English Vinglish 04:40 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 05:35 Location, Location, Location 06:35 Countdown 07:20 The King of Queens 07:45 The King of Queens 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Daily Brunch 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Small Animal Hospital 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Babylon

00:00 Family Massacre: The Jersey Slayer 01:00 Dallas 01:50 True Crimes 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Fred and Rose: The Untold Story 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 Great Scientists 05:50 House Doctor 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Trading Christmas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Underground Britain 22:00 Criminals: Caught on Camera 23:00 Fred and Rose: The Untold Story

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 American Dad! 01:30 Sweat the Small Stuff 02:00 People Like Us 03:00 Some Girls 03:30 Life Is Toff 04:00 People Like Us 05:00 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Prostitution: What's the Harm?

23:00 World's Craziest Fools 23:30 EastEnders

00:55 Great American Rock Anthems: Turn It Up to 11 01:55 Bon Jovi in Concert 02:55 Queen Victoria's Letters: A Monarch Unveiled 03:55 The French Revolution: Tearing Up History 04:55 Close 20:00 World News Today 20:30 Top of the Pops: 1979 21:00 Chivalry and Betrayal: The Hundred Years War 22:00 Queen Victoria's Letters: A Monarch Unveiled 23:00 Puppy Love 23:30 Dancing Cheek to Cheek: An Intimate History of Dance

00:30 Celebrity Juice 01:20 Plebs 01:50 Two and a Half Men 02:10 Two and a Half Men 02:35 Dads 02:55 Life's Funniest Moments 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:25 You've Been Framed!

07:45 Emmerdale 08:15 Coronation Street 08:45 You've Been Framed!

09:15 The Cube 10:15 Royal Pains 11:15 The Chase 12:15 All Star Family Fortunes 13:15 Emmerdale 13:45 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed!

14:50 Royal Pains 15:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

20:30 You've Been Framed!

21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Scorpion 23:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!

00:00 The Vice

01:05 Klitschko 03:20 Cheers 03:45 ITV4 Nightscreen 04:00 Teleshopping 07:00 UEFA Champions League Greatest Goals 07:10 Cheers 07:35 Cheers 08:00 Minder 08:55 The Professionals 09:55 Kojak 10:55 Magnum, PI 12:00 Pawn Stars 12:30 Pawn Stars 12:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:55 Minder 14:55 The Professionals 16:00 Pawn Stars 16:30 Pawn Stars 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Kojak 19:00 Alias Smith and Jones 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters 22:00 River Monsters 23:05 Runaway Train

DON’T MISS

PAUL O´GRADY: FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS 21:30 - ITV1

11/11. The comedian ends his stay at Battersea meeting the centre's ugliest pooch ­ Bailey the shih­tzu ­ and American bulldog Krystal finds glitz and glamour with a walk­on part in Coronation Street. Meanwhile, lively Jack Russell Pepe has a pampered life to look forward to when he finds a posh new home. Last in the series.

01:05 A Touch of Frost 03:00 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 The Upper Hand 07:25 Heartbeat 08:20 Wild at Heart 09:20 Wycliffe 10:30 Judge Judy 10:55 Judge Judy 11:20 Judge Judy 11:50 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 Wild at Heart 16:00 Wycliffe 17:10 Faith in the Future 17:45 French Fields 18:15 George and Mildred 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Wycliffe 21:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Endeavour

COURIER TV GUIDE 足 Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

27

28

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 15 represents M and 19 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Expensive (4) 3 Retaliation (8) 9 Genuine (7) 10 Raw (5) 11 Faithful (5) 12 Backyard (6) 14 Safe (6) 16 Assert (6) 19 Perplex (6) 21 Anticipate (5) 24 Change (5) 25 Plant of the buttercup family (7) 26 Wizard (8) 27 Charges (4)

1 Make known (8) 2 Irritate (5) 4 Come out (6) 5 Repeat itself (5) 6 Press (7) 7 Allium porrum (4) 8 Basement (6) 13 Fidgety (8) 15 Gossip (7) 17 Head (6) 18 Discussion (6) 20 Compel (5) 22 On your own (5) 23 Overtake (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Scared, 4 Cringe, 9 Latrine, 10 Tutor, 11 Mare, 12 Familiar, 13 Say, 14 Elect, 16 Sedge, 17 Car, 19 Bungalow, 20 Bags, 23 Climb, 24 Statute, 25 Nugget, 26 Excess.

Down: 1 Solemn, 2 Alter, 3 Evil, 5 Retailer, 6 Nothing, 7 Error, 8 Decay, 12 Fat, 13 Scramble, 15 Landing, 16 Saw, 17 Copse, 18 Assess, 19 Bacon, 21 Acute, 22 Manx.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Cheat Charlie out of rep­ utation (6) 4 Pinafores for a ragged parson? (6) 9 Fashionable journalist coming back after battle (1,2,4) 10 Daisy with a bovine look (5) 11 Some self­indulgent treats for a petite type (5) 12 Spinning ring around a fish (7) 13 End a hundred works in a secretive manner (11) 18 Huge muddle in attic (7) 20 Love boat built for banned (5) 22 Coming before the superior cleric? (5) 23 Inclined to substitute bridge player for another bridge player in eloping (7) 24 Her Majesty takes the princess on a horse to meet an Australian (6) 25 Commercial outlet that is coming (6) STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Prestige (6) 4 Pinafores (6) 9 In fashion (1,2,4) 10 Variety of daisy (5) 11 Fairy­like (5) 12 Staggering (7) 13 Sneaky (11) 18 Colossal (7) 20 Forbidden (5) 22 Previous (5) 23 On an incline (7) 24 Excavator (6) 25 Arrival (6)

Down 1 Just the drink for a hunter (6) 2 Fodder for Josh? (5) 3 Nurse snow leopard, say (7) 5 Fake endless call (5) 6 Former head of educa­ tion was in at the appoint­ ed hour (7) 7 Transport massacre, we hear (6) 8 Fresh chaos, better pick up the bill (4,3,4) 14 Sweet Fanny Adams is on night turn (7) 15 With a touch of service, it’s let to a court official (3,4) 16 Is put off by the date, which is ridiculous (6) 17 Nothing is disgusting, not outside (6) 19 This language is from either the Amazon or Senegal (5) 21 Felt like a tablecloth (5) Down 1 Pursuer 2 Grain husk (5) 3 Articulate (7) 5 Call up (5) 6 Former (7) 7 Sledge (6) 8 Cover expenses (4,3,4) 14 Not anything (7) 15 String supporting tennis net (3,4) 16 Foolish (6) 17 Zero (6) 19 Ancient Scandinavian (5) 21 Billiards surface (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Wordplay, 5 Asp, 8 Equator, 9 Aloha, 10 Tie­in, 11 Freedom, 12 Dinghy, 14 Nordic, 17 Pliable, 18 Simon, 20 Ethic, 21 Volcano, 22 End, 23 Asserted.

Down: 1 Wrested, 2 Rouge, 3 Pat on the back, 4 Adrift, 5 Avoided, 6 Psalm, 7 Mademoiselle, 13 Neighed, 15 Concord, 16 Leaves, 17 Piece, 19 Meant.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Ad Be Is So 3 letter words Ago Ale All Alp Apt Are Art Cue End Era Gnu Lei Lug

Non Nor Oft Ore Pea Pen Pie Ran Sad Sat Sin Spy Tad Tea Ten Tie Tog 4 letter words Abet Ague

Aids Aloe Apse Aria Babe Back Bans Bars Base Bias Bold Cuss Elan Free Koto Lieu Naps Noun Oats Pyre Rand

Sale Sane Sent Song Sore Spas Suds Tent Test Tree Yank 5 letter words Alone Baron Cagey Elute Emend Peace Sales Satin

Sepia Specs State Ulnar 6 letter words Busted Cackle Kettle Settee Sprang Tartar 7 letter words Console Subsoil 8 letter words Backseat Lameness

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 Siempre (indicando fre­ cuencia) (6) 8 Ángulos (6) 9 Straw (agricultura) (4) 10 Mono (traje de faena) (8) 11 Cenicero (7) 13 Margarita (flor) (5) 15 To marry (5) 17 To teach (7) 20 Pumpkin (8) 21 Silk (4) 22 Hembra (6) 23 Oración (religión) (6)

Down 1 Limpia (6) 2 Room (in a house) (4) 3 Handcuffs (7) 4 Panadero (5) 5 Avocadon pear (8) 6 Keys (typewriter/piano) (6) 12 To work (activity) (8) 14 Infeliz (persona) (7) 16 Abbots (6) 18 Andrew (6) 19 Cuevas (5) 21 Mares (4)

29

COURIER TV GUIDE ­ Friday 14th November to Thursday 20th November Across 9 Which adjective means ‘giving the worrying impres­ sion that something bad is going to happen’? (7) 10 Which town in central Kansas to the west of Topeka was the home of President Dwight D Eisenhower? (7) 11 The poet Ben Okri and the singer Sade Adu were both born in country in West Africa? (7) 12 The comic strip created

by Barry Appleby in 1950, which was originally pub­ lished in the Daily Express and is now seen in the Mail on Sunday, is entitled The [What]? (7) 13 According to ‘Guinness World Records’ which Lennon and McCartney song was covered seven million times in the 20th century? Official versions range from Frank Sinatra to Wet Wet Wet and Boyz II Men. (9) 15 Asleep in the Back, Cast of Thousands, Leaders of the Free World and The Seldom Seen Kid are all hit albums by which alternative rock band? (5) 16 In the television sitcom

My Family, what is the pro­ fession of Robert Lindsay’s character, Ben Harper? (7) 19 What was the surname of the music entrepreneur who was the manager of the Beatles from 1961 to 1967? (7) 20 Singer Bruce Hornsby’s backing band is known as The [What]? (5) 21 Derived from the French for ‘relate’, what name is often given to someone like Peter Ustinov who can tell stories in an interesting or amusing way? (9) 25 By what nickname was the jazz trumpeter Louis Armstrong usually known?

(7) 27 Voiced by actor Francis Matthews, the primary agent of Spectrum who fought against the Mysterons, was Captain [Who]? (7) 29 Which adjective mean­ ing ‘involving an oppressive amount of effort and difficul­ ty’, comes from the Latin word for ‘burden’? (7) 30 Which word can mean both ‘the contours or outer edges of an object’ and ‘a general plan showing essential features but no

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

detail’? (7) Down 1/24 What was the punk stage name of John Joseph

Lydon, the lead singer of the Sex Pistols? (6,6) 2 What name is often applied to sombre songs expressing mourning or

grief, such as would be appropriate for performance at a funeral? (6) 3 In pop group names, which word precedes Aces, Pennies, Seasons and Tops? (4) 4 What name is given to is any piece of sub­continental land that is surrounded by water? (6) 5 What name is given to a grotesque carved human or animal face or figure pro­ jecting from the gutter of a building, usually as a spout to carry water clear of a wall? (8) 6 Which Irish­born actor starred as Oskar Schindler in the epic 1993 film Schindler’s List? (4,6) 7 Which term, used in the card game bridge, means ‘make twice as great or intense’? (8) 8 What was the surname of the US composers George and Ira, whose hits include Embraceable You, I Got Rhythm and They Can’t Take That Away from Me? (8) 14 The rock­pop ballad Kiss You All Over, in 1978, was the only British hit single by which US band? (5)

16 Which word, derived from the Latin for ‘scoff at’ means contemptuous ridicule or mockery? (8) 17 What was the title of Paul Hardcastle’s 1985 number one British hit sin­ gle? (8) 18 Which creature appeared on the opening credits of the television sit­ com One Foot in the Grave? (8) 22 A Personal Voyage was the subtitle of which ground­ breaking 13­part television series written and present­ ed by Carl Sagan? (6) 23 What is the stage sur­ name of British comedienne and novelist, originally named Jenny Clare Hargreaves? (6) 24 See 1 26 Which 1991 fantasy­ comedy film directed by Steven Spielberg and star­ ring Dustin Hoffman in the title role, was a sequel to Peter Pan’s original adven­ tures, focusing on a grown­ up Peter who has forgotten his childhood? (4) 28 Which is the highest adult male or lowest female singing voice? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

EL OTOÑO ­AUTUMN Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el rastrillo

las botas

el sueter

las castañas

el viento

las granadas

la ardilla

las hojas

la brisa

la tormenta

la calabaza

los charcos

la hoguera

una bufanda

la lluvia

un paraguas

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Sharks and Jets 2. Tonto, Jay Silverheels 3. Ensign Chekov 4. David Jason 5. Sergeant Joe Friday 6. The Ant Hill Mob 7. Fred Quimby 8. Stuffing birds 9. Camels 10.

Eric 11. The Bush Kangaroo 12. Sean Connery

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Supine, 4 Glasnost, 9 Apiary, 10 Parakeet, 12 Peshawar, 13 Edison, 15 Lynx, 16 Coat of arms, 19 Anemometer, 20 Ovid, 23 Rapier, 25 Plectrum, 27 Brussels, 28 Daniel, 29 Trotters, 30 Newels.

Down: 1 Scalpel, 2 Puissance, 3 Norway, 5 Lear, 6 Standoff, 7 Owens, 8 Tetanus, 11 Bayonet, 14 Othello, 17 Riverside, 18 Somerset, 19 Acrobat, 21 Dimples, 22 Ice Age, 24 Pluto, 26 Blur.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el rastrillo, 2.el sueter,

15.una bufanda, 16.un paraguas

l.the puddles, m.the wind,

3.el viento, 4.la ardilla, 5.la brisa, 6.la calabaza, 7.la hoguera, 8.la lluvia,

a.the pomegranates,

n.the leaves, o. the boots,

b.the breeze, c.the pumpkin,

p.the storm.

9.las botas, 10.las castañas,

d.the jumper, e.an umbrella,

11.las granadas, 12.las hojas,

f.the bonfire, g.a scarf,

13.la tormenta, 14.los charcos,

h.the rain, i.the chestnuts,

Soduko

j.the rake, k.the squirrel,

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1j, 2d, 3m, 4k, 5b, 6c, 7f, 8h, 9o, 10i, 11a, 12n, 13p, 14l, 15g, 16e.

1. Name both of the gangs, in the musical 'West Side Story'?

2. Harold J. Smith, a Canadian, changed his name and became which famous sidekick?

3. Walter Koenig played which role in the Star Trek series?

4. Who played the Fugitive?

5. Who was the hero of the old TV cop series 'Dragnet'?

6. In the 'wacky races' what were the gang of criminals called?

7. Who produced the 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons until 1956?

8. What was Norman Bate's hobby in the movie 'Psycho'?

9. Detective Philip Marlow smokes what brand of ciga­ rette?

10. In the TV show Bonanza, what was Hoss Cartwright's characters first name?

11. Who or what was Skippy ( on TV )?

12. What actor once had a job as a coffin polisher?

Fill It In

30

Friday 14th November 2014

IS THIS THE UNHEALTHIEST BURGER EVER? The Double Donut burger - described as a 'heart attack in a bun' - contains 2,000 calories and 53g of saturated fat

British pub chain Hungry Horse has a heart­stopping new dish on its menu: the Double Donut burger, which consists of two beef burgers topped with cheese, four bacon rashers and BBQ sauce, sandwiched between two glazed ring­dough­ nuts.

The burger contains 1,996 calories, nearly 100 per cent of a woman's rec­ ommended daily energy intake.

Advertised with the line "So Wrong It's Right", the Double Donut burger also contains 53g of saturated fat, more than double the 20g daily allowance for women and well above the 30g allowance for men.

Hungry Horse pub restaurants are part of the Greene King group and there are 220 branches nationwide.

The chain, billed as "family friendly", has been criticised for serving the 2,000­calorie burger at a time when high street outlets have been asked to make their meals more healthy in a bid to counter the obesity crisis.

"It's shocking and unnecessary", said nutritionist Fiona Hunter. "It's pretty much a heart attack on a plate."

Her sentiments were echoed on Twitter, where the burger become a sen­ sation. However, some strong­stom­

ached junk food fans did express enthu­ siasm for the calorific creation.

Described on Hungry Horse’s Facebook page as “bizarre but brilliant”, the burger is part of an American­style menu, which includes crispy battered jalapeño peppers and cookie dough cheesecake, as well as a 'horse shoe stacker' containing 20 onion rings.

Steve Jebson of Hungry Horse, said: "Our popular menu caters for a variety of tastes and appetites and includes everything from lower calorie options such as our hot chicken and bacon salad at 393 calories, through to the indulgent occasional treat such as our new Double Donut Burger."

"All the nutritional information for our menu is available on our website and in our pubs, so that our customers are able to make informed decisions about what they choose to eat."

This burger is the latest in a string of unusual burgers dreamed up by chefs with a taste for publicity.

The ramen burger ­ where the bun is replaced this time by ramen noodles shaped into discs ­ hit the headlines recently. It was recently described by Time magazine as one of the "17 Most Influential Burgers of All Time”.

Will the Double Donut reach these heady heights? Only time will tell.

FISH PIE RECIPE

Serves: 6 The sauce thins to a creamy consisten­ cy as the fish releases moisture. Baking the fish raw avoids overcooking. You can make the sauce and mashed potato a day ahead and store them, covered, in the fridge.

Hands­on time: 30 minutes.

Cooking time: about an hour and 15 min­ utes.

300g cod fillets, skinless and boneless, cut into 5cm chunks 300g smoked haddock fillets, skinless and boneless, cut into 5cm chunks 300g salmon fillets, skinless and bone­ less, cut into 3cm chunks 1.2kg floury potatoes, such as King Edward or Maris Piper, peeled and halved or cut into 5cm chunks 100g butter 50g plain flour 150ml white wine 400ml fish stock 100ml double cream 1 tbsp anchovy essence or Gentleman’s Relish 3 tbsp flat­leaf parsley, finely chopped the juice of 1 lemon 150ml milk 125g raw king prawns 2 tbsp Parmesan, finely grated

Put the potatoes in a large pan of cold, salted water and gently bring to the boil.

Simmer, uncovered, for 15 to 20 minutes, until tender. Drain, and set aside to steam dry for five minutes. Mash or press through a ricer while still warm. Set aside.

Preheat the oven to 180C/gas mark 4. In a large non­stick frying pan, melt 50g butter.

Add the flour and stir to make a thick paste.

Cook over a medium heat for three minutes, stirring. Remove from the heat, then gradu­ ally add the wine, stirring until smooth.

Return to the heat and add the stock, then bring to the boil and simmer for five minutes, stirring, until the sauce is the consistency of Greek yogurt. Add the cream, anchovy essence, parsley and lemon juice. Season and set aside.

In a large pan, heat the remaining butter and the milk with plenty of seasoning.

Remove from the heat and beat in a third of the mashed potato to a loose consistency, then the remaining potato, until thick and fluffy.

Stir the fish and prawns into the sauce.

Spoon into a two­litre baking dish. Top with potato, peaking the surface with the back of a fork, then sprinkle on the cheese. Bake for 30 minutes, until golden and bubbling.

Serve with peas, if you like.

Friday 14th November 2014

31

32

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 An opportunity to break a deadlock and make progress with a new, ambitious proj­ ect is in your stars this week, so do not let uncertainty make you hedge your bets. If you play your hand with care, you could also find out something that you want to know from someone close. Do not hesitate to ask a probing question.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Events this week should make it clear that a personal goal is now within easy reach, so do not look for problems where there are none or be afraid to make a snap decision. If you trust your sense of timing, you could also find that someone in a key position is prepared to help you.

What matters now is confidence, so take a positive approach.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 An agreement with a long­term partner or a joint financial issue could come up for review this week. Do not let advice from friends colour your decisions. If you let the situation be and focus on constructive ways to overcome a recent setback, you will reach your goal much faster. Less is more this week, so relax and let events unfold.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 What you want from a new friendship is changing, so play for time and postpone all decisions until after next weekend. It also seems that someone you are currently involved with could put you under pressure.

A conversation early in the week could make you see what is at stake, so set the scene and draw them out. Your social life comes first on Thursday.

Friday 14th November 2014

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 A disagreement with a colleague about how to reach a certain goal could make it hard to progress in the week ahead.

Postpone career decisions and focus on your private life instead. Wednesday’s link between the planet of communica­ tion, Mercury, and subtle Neptune sug­ gests that winning someone over to your point of view will be plain sailing.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 A new friendship or relationship takes centre stage this week, when passionate Mars joins forces with slow­moving Pluto, which rules endings and beginnings.

Whether you should show your hand or wait until you feel more sure of where you stand may not yet be clear, so do not jeopardise your long­term chances of success by trying to force the pace.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Do not let domestic issues cloud your judgment in the week ahead. If you stand back and take a more relaxed approach, you will come up with the right solution.

Meanwhile, focus on a new creative scheme. With Mercury and Neptune helping you pick up on coming trends, you have your finger on the pulse. Trust your judgment.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Your determination to discover what is really going on in a situation could pay unexpected dividends this week. If you let others do the talking and read between the lines, you could also find out something you did not know. It could change your out­ look on the future. Do not feel you should maintain the status quo.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Tuesday’s powerful link between dynamic Mars and the wealth planet, Pluto, in your chart’s financial zone could help you bring about a breakthrough, so take decisive action then. Do not let an unexpected con­ versation throw you off your stride, or give in to self­doubt. All you need to do to reach your goal is trust your intuition.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 The planetary pattern in the week ahead is due to help you push through changes that you know, deep down, are overdue.

Do not hesitate to let go of a situation that you find restrictive. With the action plan­ et, Mars, in league with Pluto, which rules endings and beginnings, in your sign, the time has come to turn the page and look ahead.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Your deep feelings and long­term goals are undergoing subtle but far­reaching changes, so keep your options open in the week ahead. A chance to break new ground is on the horizon, but hold your fire until you get your bearings in the new ter­ rain. You will recognise the moment to take action when it comes.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 With clear­thinking, rational Mercury help­ ing you find the right way forward, you can start to make real progress with a dream that you were forced to shelve this week.

Important changes in the company you keep are also due from Tuesday, so do not try to plan too far ahead. How a close rela­ tionship develops now is also up to you.

33

Friday 14th November 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Vic was having problems viewing his banks ADVICE: Chris wanted to know whether website on his new laptop she had to remove AVG 2014 before Hi Richard, i tried to log onto installing the new version. my Spanish Bank I am using

Q

a laptop with windows 7 and internet explorer 10. I know I used the right password and user name but it would not let me in, when I got back to Spain I went to my Bank they have a computer for customers use they told me to try to log on which it did all OK, I went home tried on my laptop no luck it was saying no account and wrong password I tried on my wife's laptop XP internet explorer 7 went straight in all OK tried it on Google nexus tablet all OK but every time I try on my laptop I get the same message no account and wrong password or user name you have 3 attempts. I done a scan with Microsoft Security Essentials and malware bytes all OK done a ccleaner but still the same ­ your advice would be appreciated I am not great with com­ puters. Regards Vic

A

Hi Vic, I have seen this problem before when using Internet Explorer 10 – and IE11 for that matter – the banks have not added the relevant coding to accommodate these newer web browsers. One thing that you can try and has worked several times for me in the past is to add your banks website to the “compatibility view” of Internet Explorer. This is pretty simple to do, just launch IE, click on the cog (top right) and click “compatibility view settings”, then in the new window enter your banks website address and click add then close.

This will force IE to work in “compatibility mode” when visiting your banks website – give it a go and see how you get on.

Q A

Hi Richard. Do I have to cancel AVG 2014 before I can update AVG 2015. Your advice would be much appreci­ ated. Chris

Hi Chris, AVG 2015 came out some time ago so if you are still running 2014 you really need to consider upgrading sooner rather than later.

You can download the new version from here… http://free.avg.com/eu­en/free­antivirus­download …when you install the new version it will automatically remove the old version from your computer as part of the installation routine.

Hope that helps.

ADVICE: Josephine wanted help with a .pdf viewer Hi Richard, need a bit of help with P D F Viewer. I bought my computer from you and need you to advise me whether I am able to install the above or is it already within. I am worried to try to do anything in case it crashes. I have a couple of bookings that I need to obtain to print out from EasyJet etc. I am away very shortly, so can you please let me know as soon as possible as what I need to do!

Many thanks, Josephine

Q A

Hi Josephine, when we supply computers we always install Adobe Acrobat Reader – the thing you need to read .pdf files, so if it’s one of our computers it should already be installed, if it’s not then you can get a free copy of it from the following address… http://get.adobe.com/reader/

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

ADVICE: Michael wanted to know how to translate a document, he had scanned, into Spanish

Q A

Hi Richard, I have a letter which I wanted to translate and so I scanned it to file hop­ ing to be able to copy into google translator, however the file is jpeg from the scan­ ner and I can`t copy it. Is there a way it can be done? Regards, Michael

Hi Michael, this isn’t the first time I have been asked this question, back in 2011 I had a similar question from David, you can see the answer here… www.bluemoonsolutions.es/faq/david­was­trying­to­translate­some­documents­that­ he­had­scanned­into­his­computer …however things have now moved on and I have, with a bit of research, found the following website… www.free­ocr.com …they offer a free OCR (optical character recognition) service to many languages (including Spanish), why not give it a go and let me know how you get on?

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

34

Friday 14th November 2014

HOW TO PREVENT CAR THEFT Here are our top tips for protecting your car and its contents from thieves

Your car is an object of desire. That goes without saying – why else would you have bought it? But the problem is it’s not just an object of desire for you.

Whether it’s the car itself or the valuables within it, your car is as much a target for thieves as it ever was.

According to the Office for National Statistics, there were almost 358,000 reported instances of thefts from or of a motor vehicle last year. In other words, your car and its contents aren’t as safe as you might think.

“But my car has an alarm and an immobiliser,” you say.

“That’s me covered.” Well, not quite. It’s true that modern security systems are great deterrents to thieves. But there’s much more you can do to keep your car safe than just pressing the button on your car’s remote and walking away. Here are our top tips for making sure your car is as secure as it can be.

Check it’s locked, and check again

Most modern cars feature a visual confirmation that they’re locked in the form of a flash of their indicators. Look at your car as you press the remote button to lock it, and make sure those indicators do indeed flash. If they don’t, it could be a sign that the fob isn’t working properly, and were that the case, your car would remain unlocked.

But the cause could be something more sinister.

Security experts believe that some thieves use remote locking jammers to target cars – preventing the signal from your fob from reaching the car, and ensuring it stays unlocked so that they can steal whatever’s inside.

If you’re in any doubt what­ soever, it doesn’t hurt to dou­ ble check the car’s locked.

Get into the habit of pulling the door handle before you walk away.

Park in the right place You’re obviously going to feel nervous about leaving your car in a dodgy­looking area, but car crime can be a

problem in the nicest parts of town.

Wherever you park your car, do your best to find some­ where that’s well lit. If you have the option to park under a street lamp, do so, even during the day ­ if your car’s left there longer than you’re expecting, it’ll be lit when darkness falls.

If you’re parking on your driveway or in a car park, make sure you park as close as possible to your home or another occupied building.

And if you’re in a restaurant or pub, try and park where there’s a view of your car from inside. Even if you’re not able to get a seat by a window, someone else might notice something untoward going on.

At the shops, meanwhile, try to park close to the main entrance and in amongst other cars – thieves are more likely to strike a car that’s on its own at the end of a car park than one that’s mixed in with all the rest, where other shoppers are regularly walk­

ing past.

Hide your belongings Sounds like an obvious one, doesn’t it? But you’d be amazed how many people don’t bother. Satnav systems are the most obvious trinkets that get left on display, but mobile phones, wallets and cash are also theft magnets.

Don’t just think in terms of valuables, either. Bags, coats, and even jumpers are all attractive to a thief, even if they aren’t worth much, because of the possibility that they might conceal something that is, so don’t leave them in view on the seats.

Also be aware of leaving important paperwork on view, so that it isn’t targeted for the purposes of identity theft.

Add to your security equipment If you drive a modern car, the chances are it comes with an alarm and an immobiliser.

But there are plenty of other ways to protect your pride and joy. Steering wheel locks, which fit over your steering wheel and hold them in place so that a thief can’t steer prop­ erly, aren’t infallible, but they do provide a deterrent for opportunistic thieves. Locks that do the same job for your gearstick or your pedals are also available.

Or if you’ve got a little more money to spend, why not con­ sider a tracking device? You’ll pay upfront for the device to be installed and then pay a small annual subscription fee,

but if your car is stolen, the police will be able to locate it.

You might also want to con­ sider upgrading the security for your drive or parking space. Buying a small home CCTV system needn’t cost the earth, and it could help catch anyone who does try to steal your car. Or if you’d rather have something cheaper, a motion­activated home security lamp that shines down on your drive­ way could help put thieves off.

Use the security features your car already has Modern cars are full of clever security features, but you might not use – or even be aware of – all of them. For instance, did you know that many modern cars have sys­ tems which enable them to lock automatically as you pull away? Enabling these sys­ tems will help protect you against carjackings – surely one of the scariest possible ways of having your car stolen.

What’s more, some mod­ ern cars have lights that will stay on for a set time – usually 30 seconds – after you’ve left them. These systems are great for getting you to your door safely and ensuring someone isn’t lurking in the shadows. Check your user manual to see whether you have such a system fitted to your car and to find out how to activate it.

Think about where you keep your keys

Car security systems have advanced so far now that the easiest way for a thief to steal the car is often to steal the keys themselves. This can mean picking them from your pocket, or even stealing them from your house.

So think about which pock­ et you’re keeping your keys in when you’re out and about.

And when you’re at home, make sure you don’t leave your keys near to an open window, or even within reach of the letterbox. Some nefari­ ous criminals have taken to ‘fishing’ through the letterbox for keys using a hooked length of wire.

But don’t take your keys upstairs to bed with you.

We’ve heard of an increasing number of cases in which criminals have broken in and threatened car owners when they haven’t found the keys they wanted downstairs.

Better, we think, to have the car stolen than to have your family put at risk by robbers.

Keep an eye on your number plates Have you ever come out to your car to find its number plates missing? It’s more than just a minor inconvenience if it does happen to you – you should report it to the police immediately.

Some criminals are steal­ ing car number plates and then fitting them to their own similar­looking cars to per­ form crimes, such as filling up with fuel at a petrol station and driving off without paying.

They know the police will check CCTV footage and come and talk to you about a crime you had nothing to do with. So if you spot your num­ ber plates are missing, it’s essential that you report it.

Don’t leave your car run­ ning unattended It might seem like you’ll be away from the car for such a short time that it’s not worth turning the engine off – per­ haps you’re just popping into a shop, or are dashing into the house to pick up some­ thing you left behind. But an opportunist thief only needs a couple of seconds to have your pride and joy away.

The same goes if you’re de­icing your car on a cold winter morning – some thieves won’t think twice about running you down as they jump into the driver’s seat and speed off.

And if your car’s stolen while it’s been left running like this, your insurance will be invalidated – so not only will you go through the hassle and stress of losing your car, but you won’t get any payout.

Friday 14th November 2014

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Friday 14th November 2014

WHY CELEBRITIES ARE SUCKERS FOR THE LOLLIPOP DIET WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? A-LISTERS FROM BRITNEY SPEARS TO PARIS HILTON ARE CONVERTS TO THE LATEST FAD: THE LOLLIPOP DIET. BUT WHAT IS IT - AND DOES IT REALLY WORK?

From the baby food diet to macrobiotics, eating nothing but grapefruit, cigarettes or Diet Coke and apples (thanks to Lord Falconer for that one), diets are getting more ridiculous by the second.

In a world obsessed by body image, ditching the pounds has become a global goal, with both women and men turning to more extreme fad eating habits in a bid to lose weight. The average woman, a recent survey found, spends 31 years of her life on a diet ­ and, by the age of 45, most of us have tried (and given up on) 61 different dieting techniques.

At the root of all this is Hollywood, where A­listers swear by a range of weird and wonderful diets to keep themselves in shape.

Jennifer Aniston, for example, is an advocate of the "baby food diet", developed by celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson, which involves consuming only nutrient­rich pureed food. Beyoncé is a fan of the "maple syrup diet" (drinks made from syrup mixed with cayenne pepper and lemon juice), while Charles Saatchi is said to eat nine eggs a day to stay trim, and singer Mariah Carey has been known to eat only purple food.

If you think these sound ridiculous, take note of the latest celebrity diet fad: the "lollipop diet".

Paris Hilton, Madonna and Britney Spears are said to be fans of the unconventional weight loss method, while, according to this week's Grazia magazine, Hailey Baldwin (niece of Alec) has been spotted suck­ ing on what appeared to be an "appetite­suppressing lolly".

Lollipops, more often associated with trips to the dentist than dieting, aren't exactly an obvious health food. So how exactly does the new celebrity diet trend work?

Popularised by the Canadian company Power Pops, appetite­suppressant lollies contain three weight­loss ingredients: hoodia, a South African plant extract used by indigenous groups to survive in the desert; Citrimax, also known as HCA, which is derived from the garcinia camboya plant; and guarana, a natural source of caffeine.

Makers claim that its products, which come in a vari­ ety of flavours ­ from cappuccino to cheesecake, apple pie and strawberries and cream ­ both suppress appetite and boost energy. They're sugar free, contain no more than 10 calories, and users are supposed to suck on three a day, before breakfast, lunch and din­ ner.

Though mostly a US fad (hoodia is used by American weight loss companies but not currently licensed for use in the UK), the lollipops are available in health food stores worldwide. British customers, meanwhile, can purchase them online, where a bag of 30 costs just £20.

But do they make a difference?

Health experts are dubious, with one telling Grazia she "wouldn't touch them with a barge poll". Evidence for the effectiveness of hoodia is sparse, too: while one study showed that it could reduce appetite when injected directly into the brain, there is no proof that it can affect appetite or weight loss when ingested.

Similarly, a 2005 investigation into hoodia­based diet pills and capsules found that "the possibility that hoodia is processed in the liver is cause for concern, given that many obese people often have liver abnor­ malities that could compound any side effects". It rec­ ommended using the supplement only under medical supervision.

Indeed, experts say there's only one possible advantage to the lollipop diet: if users are sucking on sugar all day long, they're likely to eat less. Exactly what celebrities looking for a quick fix want.

It's hardly rocket science. If you want to ditch a pound or two, stick to sensible eating ­ and leave the sweets on a stick to the schoolkids.

After all those lollipops, it's no wonder Madge could do with a filling or two

'Appetite-suppressing lollipops' are the latest diet fab celebrities are turning to in order to ditch the pounds

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Friday 14th November 2014

KNOW YOUR PRESCRIPTION DRUGS If you have been prescribed a medication by your doctor recently, chances are high you’ve been given statins (to lower choles­ terol), pain killers, antidepressants, or an antihypertensive (to lower blood pressure).

These groups of drugs are the most pre­ scribed medications, and it is estimated that 60% of those over the age of 60 take at least one group of these on a regular basis. Such statistics really confirms the need for every­ one to have a basic understand of pre­ scribed medications, not for the purposes of medicating yourself (very dangerous indeed!) but for self­empowerment.

Understanding drug nomenclature is the first step in understanding prescribed drugs.

Every drug in essence has 3 very different names. The brand name of a drug is the name given to it by the manufacturer, and a

typical example is Paracetamol. You may not know it, but if you look closely at some packets of paracetamol, you will also find a second name, Acetaminophen. This is known as the generic name of paracetamol, and is the name given to paracetamol by the government. The third name of paracetamol (N­acetyl­p­aminophenol) is its chemical name from which the generic name is usual­ ly derived. Tylenol and Panadol are different brand names of acetaminophen, and so technically they are exactly the same as Paracetamol. Apart from generic and brand names, drugs are also classified according to their mode of action, which is the specific way a particular drug brings about a desired effect on the body. This is sometimes referred to as its drug class. For example drugs that belong to the drug class or cate­

gory called ACE inhibitors lower blood pres­ sure by blocking a particular enzyme pro­ duced in the kidney. There are several dozen generic drugs that belong to this class, and when you bear in mind that each of these generic drugs can have dozens of brand names, you can easily see how there can be hundreds of brand name drugs, under the drug class ACE inhibitors for treat­ ing hypertension. And there are several other drug classes or categories for treating hypertension­ beta agonists, thiazide diuret­ ics, calcium channel blockers, etc. Every drug manufactured by the pharmaceutical industry is classified in this manner. What is important to realise is that brand name drugs are usually more expensive than generic names. A packet of Ibuprofen will be far cheaper than say a pack of Espidifen,

because Ibuprofen is the generic name, while Espidifen is the fancy brand name of Ibuprofen. Even though there are several hundred drug classes or categories recog­ nised today, drugs from only 5 categories are prescribed more than half the time.

These most prescribed drug classes are: Statins for controlling cholesterol, SSRIs (antidepressants), Narcotic analgesic (pain killers), Beta Blockers (anti­hypertensive), and ACE inhibitors (anti­hypertensive). A basic knowledge of these commonly pre­ scribed drug categories will empower you to make better choices regarding your own health.

FOR A FULL BODY SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU : 965071745

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS TO CONTACT@MEDB.ES

Q

Last year I had prostate surgery to remove part of my enlarged prostate gland because of the prob­ lems I was having with urination.

After surgery, I felt relief for a few months, before the problem returned 4 months ago. I have been to the hospital since then, and have been prescribed tablets and told that I may need another surgery. However I would like to avoid this second surgery if possible because from my online research, the outcome is not always good. Do you know of any other options other than surgery?

A

The prostate gland found in men, is about the size of a walnut and surrounds the neck of the bladder and the urethra (the tube that car­ ries urine from the bladder). It makes some of the milky fluid (semen) that carries sperm. As men age, they have an increased risk of devel­ oping an enlarged prostate, a condition known as Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). This occurs because the num­ ber of cells in the prostate starts to increase in number. The result is that the urethra is squeezed, causing interference with the normal flow of urine. BPH is thought to be caused by the action of the prostate enzyme alpha 5­reductase, which converts the male hormone testosterone to a more powerful hormone, dihydrotestosterone (DHT). This DHT seems to trigger the division of prostate cells, thereby increasing their numbers. Symptoms of BPH include: straining or difficulty when trying to urinate, a weak urinary stream which may start and stop in mid­flow, discomfort when urinating, having to rush to the toilet, passing urine more often than normal especially at night, dribbling of urine and a feeling of not emptying the bladder fully. A num­ ber of natural herbs are known to improve the function of the prostate. The plant Saw palmetto (serenoa repens) stops the conversion of testosterone to its more active form DHT by inhibiting the prostate enzyme alpha 5­reductase.

Saw palmetto extracts have also been studied and shown to reduce the occurrence of pro­inflammatory substances such as prostaglandins and leukotrines which may worsen the symptoms of BPH. Pumpkin seed is also thought to show the same properties. Vitamin E, zinc, and proantho­ cyanidins provide potent antioxidant protection against oxidative damage to the prostate. The amino acids glycine, alanine, and glutamic acid, as well as vitamin B­6 and vita­ min A, have been suggested to reduce proliferation of prostate tissue cells. SP­Ultimate, manufactured by Pure encapsulations, is a very effective blend of vitamins, miner­ als, amino acids, herbals, and other compounds, scientifi­ cally proven to support the healthy structure and function of the prostate gland. To find out more, call MEDB at 965071745

Q

I have had recurring yeast vaginitis for many years, and nothing seems to clear it completely. I am a 47 years old, generally in good health,

and would appreciate your opinion.

A

Yeast is a type of fungus scientifically known as Candida. There are several different kinds of candida, but the one responsible for vagini­ tis is known as candida albicans. Yeast vagini­ tis is characterized by itching, soreness, vagi­ nal discharge and pain during sexual inter­ course or urination. Yeast infection can be spread to a male or female partner. In men the symptoms are itching and irri­ tation of the penis after contact with an infected woman.

However in most cases, sexu­ al transmission does not play a role in infection. The spores of yeast or candida are in the air and thrive in moist warm areas of the body such as the groin and the vagina. Yeast vaginitis or candidiasis is more likely to occur around the time of a period due to changes in the acidity of vagi­ nal discharge. It is also more common in women who are pregnant, have uncontrolled diabetes or who use oral con­ traceptives or adrenal corti­ costeroids (prednisolone). It also often occurs after taking antibiotics which kill off healthy bacteria naturally found in the vagina that help keep candida at bay.

Recurring candidiasis has been blamed on slightly reduced levels of iron, need­ ed by the white blood cells to make the chemicals used to destroy such opportunistic organisms. Also, according to one study, candidiasis is 3 times more common in women who wear nylon underwear, tights or tight­fit­ ting trousers, than those who wear cotton underwear.

Cotton underwear and stock­ ings are recommended for women with recurring thrush.

They should also be boiled after washing to kill the candi­ da spores since washing machines operate at a lower temperature, and unable to kill them. Avoid bath addi­ tives, vaginal deodorants or douches which can upset the naturally acidic vaginal envi­ ronment. Eat an iron­rich diet with oranges, or take a multi­ vitamin supplement contain­ ing iron and vitamin C as the

vitamin helps increase the absorption of iron. Taking probi­ otic supplements will replenish intestinal levels of friendly digestive bacteria that suppress the overgrowth of candida in the gut, reducing the reservoir for recurrent vaginal infec­ tion. Boosting the immune system with Echinacea is also an effective form of therapy. In one study, women who took Echinacea experienced a 43% reduction in recurring yeast infection. Other useful natural remedies include: boric acid (used as vaginal suppositories), cinnamon, tea tree (for treating oral candidiasis) and Siberian ginseng which is also an immune booster.

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Friday 14th November 2014

MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE IN SPAIN IS IN MALLORCA

House prices in Spain have been falling since the housing bubble exploded a few years ago. However, the luxury property market does not seem to have been affected by this fall.

“El Cielo” (“Heaven” in Spanish) is the most expensive property currently for sale in Spain, with a price tag of 57.5 million euros, and it has not only not lowered its price, despite having now been on the market for seven years, but it has actually recently risen it by 15%.

This villa is located in Mallorca, on a hill­top location in the bay of Alcudia, with views that dominate the whole bay and the surrounding countryside and mountains. It has 3,500 square meters, eight bedrooms, and its own helipad and yacht docking.

So if you have that kind of money lying around and fancy owning a Bond­villain type of Mediterranean villa… this house may be perfect for you!

Friday 14th November 2014

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Friday 14th November 2014

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Friday 14th November 2014

Property

thediscountcard.es

Restaurants & Bars

Lifestyle & Services

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Friday 14th November 2014

FREE AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHOIR Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a

mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone: 647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or direc­ tions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcf­ spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The Rainbow Centre for spiritual awareness We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Limonar just off the CV 905 Rojales to Torrievieja road We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoy­ ance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clairvoyance Healing is always available by certi­ fied healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcen­ trecostablana@gmail.com

INSURANCE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for

a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL MEDIA needs self­ employed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SITUATIONS WANTED WANTED. English speaking mother's help aged 30­40, with driving licence, to help 7 year old boy with home­ work, and look after him.

Work hours will be 4 hours a day, Monday to Friday. Own room with bathroom provid­ ed, in a house with a pool and garden, in Alcayna, Murcia. Pay will be 125 euros a week. If you have a young child this will not be a problem. Phone 607 43 39 43 or email: mancanpa@yahoo.es CARPET FITTER WANTED Experienced part time car­ pet fitter wanted for the expanding and successful Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos. Must be hard Working, smart & friendly, with first class customer fac­ ing skills. A clean driving license, your own transport & tools are essential. Please send CV with references to carpetheaven@hotmail.es or call us on 966720782 for more information BUSY HAIR & BEAUTY

BLINDS

BARBER

CATERING

ALARMS

SALON IN THE PLAYA FLA­ MENCA AREA REQUIRES A PART­TIME FULLY QUALIFED BEAUTICIAN TO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY & PROFESSIONAL TEAM. TEL: 648111779 FOR DETAILS. Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

DOMESTIC APPLIANCE REPAIRS

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

POOL TABLES

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

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SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

CARPENTER

GARDENER

CLEANERS

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Friday 14th November 2014

CAR BREAKERS

DRAINAGE

REMOVALS

PETS

POOLS

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

SURVEYOR

BUILDERS

PLUMBERS

VAN HIRE

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Friday 14th November 2014

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

DONALD DOESN’T DUCK IT

I was aware of Luke Donald when he played out of Beaconsfield Golf Club, when I was a com­ mittee member at the Berks, Bucks and Oxford Union of Golf Clubs (BB&O), in the early 90’s,he was twice the club champion, first winning the championship at the age of 15. So it was inter­ esting to follow his career and this year’s Ryder Cup disappointment.

Paul McGinley had put the phone down with his apologetic farewell and, in his despondency, Luke Donald could only see two options. Either crawl into a hole and feel sorry for himself or use it as moti­ vation to make sure it never happened again.

Anybody who has ever met this exemplary man from Bucks will guess that the English stiff upper lip easily conquered its quivering part­ ner. Yet the resolve with which he met his Ryder Cup rejection was of the “I’ve been wrong” rather than the “I’ve been wronged”. In the down days which he admits to suffering afterwards, Donald swallowed his pride and recognised that his rad­ ical swing change under Chuck Cook simply had not worked. So Donald reignited the partnership with his old coach, Pat Goss, and in the next two months duly turned back the clock.

The other Thursday, the 36­ year­old resumed his profes­ sion in the WGC­HSBC Champions in Shanghai determined to be the “old Luke”, as the man who defied the long odds of being a comparatively short­

hitter to become world num­ ber one. The “old Luke” who no captain, regardless of the competition, would dare to snub.

Speaking in an interview since being overlooked by McGinley for Ian Poulter, Stephen Gallacher and Lee Westwood, Donald was characteristically honest about his emotions when he was told the news. “It was disappointment mixed with anger,” Donald commented.

“I could have been picked ahead of Lee, Stephen or Ian and feel I could have jus­ tified the wild card. But it was not anger directed at Paul or anyone, just at the fact I’d put myself in that sit­ uation.”

Let’s face it, but for a few instances during the season he would have qualified by right. If Matt Kuchar had not holed that bunker shot at the last to deny him the win at Hilton Head and if Rory McIlroy had not got on that birdie run on the back nine at Wentworth, Luke could have won there. All these things flashed through his mind when he was trying to come to terms with it. But then, the last few months he did not play well at all and realised he could blame any­ one but himself. Not to say the disappointment didn’t sit with him for a few weeks. It did.

McGinley was the factor which made the misery so profound for Donald, although not for the reason most would assume. “Of course, you always want to play in the Ryder Cup – it’s provided probably my most enjoyable moments in the game,” Donald said. “But my

desire to play at Gleneagles was heightened because I knew how good Paul would be as a captain. He has been a big influence on me in the Ryder Cup (he part­ nered McGinley in his very first match in 2004) and I love the way he plans out everything. He’s methodical, puts in all the work, leaves no stone unturned.”

“That’s in my nature as well, and I really wanted to play under him. Yes, when I saw the guys on TV, I did feel a bit jealous. It was hard to watch the last day, but I couldn’t tear myself away. Its great theatre: there’s noth­ ing like rooting for the guys.”

Donald encapsulated all these thoughts in a text message to McGinley on that Sunday evening. That meant a lot to the McGinley, who had earlier confessed that he thought the next time he and Donald crossed

paths “it will be difficult”. He need not have worried. “He had a job to do and did it amazingly,” Donald said. “I have nothing for Paul but admiration.”

The same applies to Cook, the Texan veteran who coached Payne Stewart and Tom Kite and who, more recently, oversaw Jason Dufner’s transformation from journeyman into a major champion. After 16 years with Goss, his coach since his college days in Chicago, Donald shocked the game by going to Cook last August.

A few months earlier, he had played with Justin Rose when his compatriot won the US Open and Donald was desperate to make the big step. Alas, the big step was backwards. When he joined Cook, Donald was a top 10 player, having been world number one less than a year

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A player makes a practice swing and accidentally moves his ball in play on the fairway with his club. What is the ruling?

A: The player has made a stroke and must play the ball as it lies.

B: The player incurs a penalty of one stroke and must replace the ball.

C: There is no penalty but the player must replace the ball.

ANSWER

before. Now he is 34th.

“Chuck and I talked after I missed out on the Ryder Cup and the Tour Championship and we agreed that if after 13 months the improvements weren’t coming, then it was wise to look elsewhere.

Chuck and I still have a great relationship; it’s just that I physically couldn’t do some of it.”

Cook tried to take the “flip” out of Luke’s swing and get him to use his bigger mus­ cles more. That meant less wrist action and more turn. It was a big alteration for Luke Donald but he thought he could do it as he’d always considered himself a fast learner. But he can see how difficult it is to break down 30 years of golfing DNA. It’s funny, we see someone like Tiger Woods going through radical swing changes and winning more and more majors and think it can be done. But actually there are not many players who have ripped it all up and been suc­ cessful.

“I lost sight of what made me successful. I focused too much on what I perceived as my weakness and forgot

about my strength, which is from 150 yards and in,” Luke said.

Luke Donald is brave enough to recognise a men­ tal weakness, as well. “When I was number one, I probably wanted that major too much. I came close to winning majors under Pat but figured I needed to be a better ball­striker, and that there had to be an overhaul of the whole package.”

“But I’m not a ‘big picture’ sort of guy. I prefer making small improvements each day. Pat understands that and for the first few weeks we didn’t talk about swing, just did some really good work on my wedge play and putting. I’m ready to compete again.”

Keegan Bradley is one who could testify to his friend’s wellbeing. Both are mem­ bers of the Bear’s Club in West Palm Beach. Donald neither confirmed nor denied that Tom Watson’s captaincy came up in conversation with Bradley, but he was pre­ pared to make an obvious point. “There seemed to be unrest in the US team­room and perhaps Watson’s moti­ vation wasn’t great, Europe has won eight out of the last 10 matches and to my mind that cannot be a coinci­ dence. There must be things we are doing right and things the US continue to do wrong. It’s not really our problem. We have to carry on the way we are doing it.”

Donald said.

It is a case of “if it ain’t broke”. And with the benefit of painful experience, that I am sure will be something Luke Donald will now always keep in mind.

TITTER ON THE TEE This week two shorties (and don’t groan!):­ 1: The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with the vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

B: The player had no intention of moving the ball. However, he incurs a penalty stroke under Rule 18­2a for moving his ball in play, and the ball must be replaced.

2: I start a new job in Seoul next week; I thought it was a good Korea move.

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Friday 14th November 2014

REAL RULE OVER RAYO REAL MADRID 5

Real Madrid extended their winning run to 13 games with an easy win last Saturday that keeps them at the top of the La Liga, ahead of the international break. Gareth Bale and Sergio Ramos had Real 2­0 up but an error from James Rodriguez allowed Alberto Bueno to score and give the visitors some hope at the break. That would not

RAYO VALLECANO 1

last long, though, as second­half goals from Toni Kroos, Karim Benzema and Cristiano Ronaldo saw Carlo Ancelotti's men retain their two­point lead at the top of the Primera Division, ahead of Barcelona. Real’s next match is a week tomorrow (Saturday November 22nd) away to Eibar.

LUIS GIVES EXTRA BITE ALMERIA 1

Luis Suarez came off the bench to rescue Barcelona from another disastrous defeat last Saturday, providing both assists as the Catalans came from behind to win 2­1 at Almeria, to stay second in the table behind Real Madrid.

Suarez's return to action following his ban has coincided with his new club's worst run of the season, and a third straight domestic defeat appeared a possibility when

BARCELONA 2

Almeria went in ahead at the break:­Messi's mistake sparking a home counter­attack which ended with former West Brom loanee Bifouma Thievy's smart finish. In the sec­ ond half, when Suarez was called into action, he teed up an equaliser for Neymar ­ fin­ ished via a nick off a defender ­ before sending in Alba to dink over Ruben Martinez.

They now entertain fifth­placed Sevilla a week on Saturday (November 22nd).

ILICITANOS MAKE THEIR POINT GETAFE 0

Fran Escriba's Elche had marginally the better chances in last Saturday’s encounter and had the best chance of the match squandered by Jonathas after he had netted twice in the previous match against Espanyol. The Ilicitanos played well and kept the home side frustrated, who could only manage three attempts on goal during the match.

Elche needed just two minutes to test keeper Guaita, who dived low to push away a shot from Victor Rodriguez, after Cristian Herrera held the ball up. Next the winger played the role of provider, teeing up Jonathas inside the area, but the Brazilian forward drove over the bar.

At the other end, Sergio Escudero nearly caught Elche keep­

ELCHE 0

er Przemyslaw Tyton out with a volley from distance, but the Polish goalkeeper gathered the ball at the second attempt.

The custodian had to be alert again a few minutes later, sav­ ing well from Pablo Sarabia.

A few minutes into the second half Jonathas wasted the clearest chance of the match, volleying over the bar from inside the six­yard box following a free­kick. A few minutes later Herrera got through on goal against Guaita but the for­ mer Valencia stopper stood firm again.

Getafe came back stronger towards the end of the game but struggled to make Tyton work.

Substitute Sammir slammed a free­kick over the wall but also above the bar, Escudero put in a dangerous cross but no­one

could get on the end of it, and in the last minute the left­back went for goal from range but could only send the ball into the stands.

Afterwards, Fran Escriba said that he was happy with the team’s defensive performance adding that the side are improving every week.

“I think that at Getafe, the team deserved a better result due to the way they played. We had the best scoring chances and we don’t have as many points on the board as we deserve”.

Elche lie third from bottom in the table, but are one of four teams on nine points. With the international break this week­ end, their next match is a must­win six pointer at home to bot­ tom side Cordoba on Sunday November 23rd.

46

Friday 14th November 2014

REF’S RED JINXES TORRY CULLERA 4

CD TORREVIEJA 0

Torry arrived at Cullera with high hopes of topping the table but they were left smarting from a defeat that caused them to drop to eighth in the table. There was little to choose between the sides for 45 minutes until a two handed push on the edge of Torry's box deposited Adrian on his face and saw Guillem then rifle his shot into the corner of the net. The referee saw the foul, ignored it, then realised it was too late to do anything about it without looking foolish. Instead he elected to look ridiculous by admonishing Vicente with a second caution for his protest and reduced Torry to ten men for the second half.

Torry brought on Carrasco at the start of the second period and he once more demonstrated his talent, winning the ball in the air, holding defenders off and creating goal opportunities.

Torry had six or seven of these but Cullera defended as if their lives depended on it.

Carrasco jinked his path past the Cullera keeper and shot on goal only to see a defender

rush back and blast the ball away from right under the cross­ bar.

Cristian Sanchez went close as did Cesar but the Cullera goal was not to be breached. Instead they took advantage of Torry's pressing to break fast and add to the visitor's misery with three further strikes. In fact, they also smashed the crossbar and nearly uprooted the upright with further efforts that could have made the result a total mauling.

The result was bad and highlighted Torry's dif­ ficulty scoring goals, despite numerous oppor­ tunities. It once more illustrated that they can be out fought and out battled, especially if an official fails to recognise technical infringe­ ments and take appropriate action. Structural problems also remain, one being the relative ineffectiveness of Jorge in midfield, where he has little time to think and use the ball constructively.

The team needs Rafa Gomez and Carrasco to be fit and to play. They are highly talented play makers and goal scorers and manager Galiana must determine how he can best utilise them and get the results that are demanded. It is away tomorrow(Saturday) to new boys Benagamin, and then Torry return home, but to the Nelson Mandela stadium, as once more remedial work is underway at the Vicente Garcia to bring the playing surface back to an excellent standard.

MONTE PAY A DOUBLE PENALTY CALLOSA DEPORTIVA 3

An injury hit Montesinos side missing Vaz, Edu, and Omar looked set for a good away result, but came away with absolutely nothing as an injury time penalty sealed the deal for the home side.

With manager Juanpe having to make changes for Monte, Macan and Ruben led the line for the visitors, in a match which saw neither goalkeeper under pressure for the first 20 minutes.

A game that seemed to promise nothing suddenly came to life, when after 26 minutes, a long ball to the far post was turned back by Dimitry for Manuel to fire in from close range to make it 1­0. Callosa responded by heading just over the crossbar from a free kick and Monte were then thwarted by a great save from the Callosa goalkeeper. Marcos was then booked for kicking the ball away after handball was given just outside the box. Another booking soon followed when Yonhi was booked for mouthing it after a harsh free kick was given against him. On 40 minutes, a great cross into the box saw Macan head home from close range, and

CD MONTESINOS 2

then just before half time a goal line clearance

by Fernando made sure Monte went in at the interval two goals to the good.

Perhaps the turning point was five minutes into the second half, when the Callosa keeper made a great save from Macan to keep them in the game, which from that point went downhill for Monte . First from a free kick, Callosa pulled one back when an unmarked forward was allowed to head in from close range. Then Rubio was sent off for a foolish second yellow card for dissent, and when an indirect free kick was given, it flew into the net but was disal­ lowed as it was touched by no one.

A bad decision by the referee who was 25 yards behind the play denied Monte a penalty as he gave a free kick just outside the box when Ruben was brought down at least two yards inside penalty area. Shortly afterwards both Ruben and Marcos were replaced by Dario and Dani as Callosa put 10 man Monte under pressure, and just a few minutes later Lopez missed a cross and then brought down a Callosa forward as he was about to shoot. The home side levelled things up from the penalty spot and worse was to follow for Monte, as in the 90th minute Lopez came charging off his line and scythed down another Callosa player. The sec­ ond penalty was converted to seal the game, with nothing to show for Monte’s efforts. Rubio must shoulder much of the blame as both his bookings resulting in a red card were for dis­ sent, leaving his team short with 30 minutes left to play. Keeper Lopez also unnecessarily panicked under pressure, whilst the rest of the team gave everything they had. Montesinos are back at home this Sunday for a needle match against local rivals Benejuzar.

SHARKS TAME TIGERS SAN JAVIER SHARKS 26

TORREVIEJA TIGERS 8

The Sharks (pictured left in blue) entertained the Tigers for the first time in two seasons, and the first quarter of the match was scrappy. After 20 minutes, Reuben got a simple try, con­ verted by Borja to make it 7 – 0 for The Sharks, and the score doubled a few minutes later. The home advantage was clipped to 14­5 at the interval, and The Tigers looked determined early in the second half. Sharks captain, Kike, though got the next try, converted to make it 21­5, with Tigers full back, Tom Evans, replying with a penalty kick to take it to 21­8. Reuben then got the final try for the Sharks.

Elsewhere, ITV Orihuela Vega Baja lost their first division match, 46­13 at Albacete, but there was a win in the juvenile league, as Orihuela(pictured in the yellow shirts) got a 29­27 victory at Albacete. In the women’s league, the San Javier Sharks thrashed Cartagena by 118­0, whilst the in the cadete’s section, the Torrevieja Tigers won 41­10 at Cartagena.

47

Friday 14th November 2014

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL?

I suppose it’s always been the same in profes­ sional football with aspects like the maximum wage, the Bosman ruling etc ­ but money mat­ ters are just plain crazy currently, aren’t they? If you’re a football nut like me, it’s best to just try and ignore the ridiculous financial amounts being bandied about today, most of it going into Premiership players’ pockets. But it doesn’t improve them in terms of behaviour and image, more the opposite – and then there are their agents…

I’m singling out Yaya Toure of Man City for particular ‘examination’ because I read last week the monstrously­paid Ivory Coast midfielder is struggling along on £232,000 – that’s per week btw. If that hurts, then consider this: every time City qualify for Europe, which the Blues have for the last four years when he joined City, Toure ‘earns’ a tax­paid bonus of £823,000. But the current African Player of the Year rarely looks happy these days, far from it ­ more bored and sullen.

I know Yaya tragically lost his brother to cancer earlier this year, but there have been some aspects of his behaviour lately which really do raise eyebrows ­ like his commitment to both his employers who are paying him such vast sums, and those very long­suffer­ ing faithful City fans. ‘Mardy’ – pro­ nounced mard­eh is a Nottingham word, which means sulky and petulant – mardy sums up Yaya Toure’s atti­ tude perfectly.

Hugely talented and strong going forward, Toure possesses a ter­ rific shot and is a free kick expert par excellence.

But when the boot’s on the other foot and City are under pres­ sure, does the offen­ sively­over­ paid one do his share of

OFF THE BEACH

The newly­formed DS Barbarians rugby club have a new training venue, with a deal being struck with Daya Vieja council to use their facil­ ities, as opposed to going to Guardamar beach. The exact start date is yet to be for­ malised but the club sees it as a major boost as they continue to lay down foundations. A committee has been set up as well as choosing a shirt design and putting together a fund­raising social evening for the end of the month.

Guardamar beach will host the next training session this Monday from 8.00 pm in front of the restaurants, and all ages and genders are welcome to come along. For more details about the club, call Dutch on 692 767 242.

defensive duties, as all good midfielders today must? No, say his critics, the big man is just not helping his under­ pressure teammates enough.

Four goals so far versus a total of 24 last season means the question marks are get­ ting more numerous by the week. Sent off against CSKA Moscow for shoving an oppo­ nent in the face, Toure appeared fairly indifferent to the incident as he trudged off: two lazy, petulant book­ ings where the second was actually a straight red, an extremely poor example of excessive indiscipline, perpetuat­ ed just when his team needed him most. A half­hearted apologetic ‘tweet’ (yuk) followed, ­ that ghastly modern day media tool that was shown up badly this week by another ‘superstar’ who should know better, Rio Ferdinand, who actually received a three match ban for ‘tweeting’ offensive language. Toure’s ‘apology’ is thought to be traced back to his disgraceful agent, one Dimitri Seluk.

This parasite was the engineer of the ‘cake­gate’ scan­ dal in the summer when he protested at the City owners’ luke­warm celebration of Yaya’s birthday: ‘The president of Anzhi gave Roberto Carlos a Bugatti on his birthday, where Yaya got a cake,’ observed Seluk. Then, adding offence to injury, he added: ‘The club’s owners ate a 100kg cake after winning the Premier League this season, but when they and the players were all togeth­ er, none of them shook his hand on his birthday. It shows they don’t care about him.’ Well shaken­up and stirred, disgusting consid­ ering how much he, as the agent has made from those in charge at The Etihad ­ those same monsters who are paying his client around £11m each season. Last year Toure was voted third in both the PFA player of the Year and the Football Writers Award won by Luis Suarez. Seluk needs

shooting for racistly saying Yaya would have won if he had been white. What scabs on society scummy agents like Seluk are…

There was close season talk of Toure returning to Barcelona – but it transpired the Kings of Catalonia didn’t want him back and bought Luis Suarez instead: only then did Toure announce his ‘devotion’ to the Manchester club.

Their loyal supporters have been through and seen every­ thing, both at Maine Road and now the hugely impressive Etihad stadium. Since 2008. the multi­billionaire Sheikh Mansour’s sheckles have made the Blue half of Manchester more successful than the faithful could ever have dreamed of previously. Supporting City has always been a roller coaster of emotions, with amazing highs alternating with depressing lows ­ and still it goes on, but now success tar­ nished by the Blues perfectly­demonstrated mercenaries and their hangers­on.

With City’s league form suffering this season already, now would have been the ideal year for the Blues to really achieve in Europe, and show the Real Madrids, Bayern Munichs et al that England’s champions were not poor also­ rans ­ but once again that is how City look, currently sitting at the bottom of their group. In the Prem, Pelligrini’s players currently sit uneasily in third place after yet another ques­ tionable performance against QPR last Saturday, leaving the Champions a serious eight points behind invincible­looking leaders Chelsea. Now with striker Edin Dzeko ruled out with a serious calf injury, and playmaker David Silva also side­ lined, City are under real pressure to perform and just must improve in League and Europe. It is now up to senior players like Yaya Toure to step up, to demonstrate their abilities and commitment to everyone at the club and earn their corn ­ if that is ever possible on their sick sort of fortune: ­ the money most football fans can only dream of.

A fun sport to give older people some exercise is the think­ ing behind walking football, and the supporters of CD Montesinos have decided to form a walking football team.

Anyone from the age of 55 years onwards, male and female, is welcome to join the new team, and plans are afoot to find a venue for training and playing.

For further details, Stan Dibble via E­mail:­ montestan@gmail.com

The recent fifth race day for the SAMM Autumn sail­ ing series at Los Alcázares was windless, and it meant that the start of the action for the 10 boats was delayed to get something resembling a breeze. After a lacklustre three laps, the Hartley crossed the line in 1hour, 8mins, 42secs but the last boat needed 2hours, 32mins, 35secs to finish! By mid­afternoon, the wind had risen to about six knots, leading to some much tighter and more interesting racing, with Hartley only needing just over 54 minutes to finish the four laps, followed by the Laser 2000 ‘Shoestring Dos’ just over 90 seconds later.

For more information go to www.sailingmarmenor.com

WALK OUT OF AND WIN PUFF

48

Friday 14th November 2014

EURO BREAK! PREM PAUSE FOR INTERNATIONAL WEEK

This week it’s the qualifiers for Euro 2016. It hissed it down per­ sistently last weekend where some soaked souls sang in the showers where others’ sorrows were satu­ rated. At the top, leaders Chelsea rubbed it in at Anfield (*for tacky tactics see below) as Liverpool slipped into the bottom half after three defeats on the spin.

‘Fabregas doesn’t tackle back’ was about the only heinous Chelsea weakness that MOTD pundit Phil Neville could spot – who can put the brakes on the Blues bandwagon?

Probably (and astoundingly) only Southampton in sec­ ond at this rate, where Shane Long notched his first two goals against Leicester without reply: that was the Saints’ fourth consecutive clean sheet to put away poor old Leicester who can’t do anything right. Ever since the 5 – 3 whipping of Man Utd, Nigel Pearson has struggled vainly to stop the rot – it’s Cardiff last sea­ son all over again. As the bottom three all came up last season, is the gargantuan gulf between divisions too great? At least bottom Burnley got their first win, 1 – 0 over Hull, while at Loftus Road a firework display ignit­ ed as Sergio Aguero drew with Quizzically Playing Resolutely (or Man City drew 2 – 2 with QPR). Where would City be without Aguero ­ and now Edin Dzeko’s out for a while with David Silva…

New football law: ‘Never, ever flog off the family silver and use the money to replace it with lots of cheaper replacements. Proof? Look at the league positions of Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool, currently eighth and ninth. When Gareth Bale was at White Hart Lane, Spurs were top four contenders, and with Luis Suarez last year Liverpool came second and looked superb.

Both superstars went for vast sums, and both clubs

John McGregor reports

bought half a new team. Like Tottenham’s Brazilian Paulinho and the infamous Mario Balotelli at Anfield, most buys have not worked out to the club’s embar­ rassment and the fans’ consternation. Spurs fans are currently booing their own team after the Lillywhites have lost four from their last six home games this sea­ son – and Liverpool’s faithful are price­protesting.

Why aye, man, after Newcastle did it to Spurs, the Magpies won yet again on Saturday, 2 – 0 away at West Brom.

Prodigal popular Pardew’s new prize poacher Perez pulled off a perfect back heel to score right on half­ time, Coloccini sealing it second­half to take the Toon Army eighth. (Another) terrible week being a Gooner.

Fresh from squandering a three­goal lead against Anderlecht, in the pouring rain in the valleys Arsenal’s endeavours were washed away ­ again ­ as they led through yet another Hugo Sanchez goal, only to lose 2 – 1 to spirited Swansea. Understandably incandes­ cent Arsene arsey again…

No Mata what they tell you, boys, own up ­ Man United still have problems, it’s Crystal clear. The 1 – 0 win over poor­patch Palace papers over the cracks. Cool key footie fact to use in your chats: United have already used more players (31) than they did in the whole of 2013­14 season (30). Does seventh place/no Europe sound familiar? LVG must be relishing the International break… *Pause for poor performance to opportunely remind me why I don’t like Jose Mourinho. Lording it up there at the top you might think decency might kick in – alas, no. Easy target luckless Steven Gerrard got it before Chelsea played Liverpool. Jose recalled the Reds cap­ tain’s costly slip: ‘It gave the title to Man City, simple as that. Liverpool, with a point in that match, would have been champions. Without it, they lost the title. It meant nothing to us..’ Totally unnecessary, said only to offend. Not content, last week he was even winding

up his own supporters for their lack of support. That’s Mourinho perfectly: outstanding ability – and no class whatever.

Psst… have you heard that the creepie­crawlies in Australia are worried? They’ve heard Roy Keane is considering entering ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’…

It’s International weekend, but don’t panic on Saturday night, lads: the England match should be finished just in time for ‘Strictly’, so celebrate with England winning and then get your dancing shoes out (I prefer Tess to Zoe ­ but only just…). Oh, yes, yawn, Scotland play the Republic of Ireland tonight, Northern Ireland are away to Romania, and its Belgium v Wales on Sunday. No laughing, Gibraltar are away to Germany: the Gibbos will need a Rock­solid defence (I heard an ape has been named as sub). And there’s some auld enemy friendlies­not early next week…

International quiz for real England supporters (no Celts allowed): 1. Where are the 2016 Euro finals being held?

2. What night do England play Slovakia?

3. Should Rooney be captain? In a poll of 100 people, guess the answers.

4. Who is Gordon Strachan?

5. How many times have England won the World Cup? Clue ­ one more than Scotland….

Answers: 1. France (mais oui, our ‘supporters’ won’t have to travel far to get arrested).

2. Trick question ­ they don’t. It’s Slovenia on Saturday.

Ha ha if you got caught!

3. Our survey said: ‘Yes’ ­ 3. ‘No’ ­ 3. ‘Captain of what?’

47. ‘Who?’ 47.

4. A fiery little sh– Scot. Oh, and he’s currently manag­ er of Scotland.

5. England 1 Scotland 0 (and that’ll do as a prediction for Tuesday’s ‘friendly’).