The Gardener and the Perfectionist

Written by Pauline Belz Graphic by Quynhmai Tran

This trip has more permanence than usual, the gardener thought to herself.

America is big, overwhelming, allencompassing; it swallows you whole like a shark that inadvertently encounters you in some murky waters. Staying here seems inevitable, even as the children write their quintessential postcard to Oma and Opa in Bad Berleburg.

So, when it threatens to swallow you whole, what better to do than to recognize it for what it is? This is how the journey begins: An RV, a perfectionist, and three other Germans on the road. Kind of like you see in all those American movies, right? Sensationalism and spectacle remain forever a part of that American dream.

Freitag, den 21.07

Gestern 16:30 sind wir endlich losgekommen … mächtig genervt … die Nerven lagen mehr als blank … Stimmen reichlich gereizt … … die Kinder hatten raus, keinen Streit mehr zu provozieren und auch keine nervigen Fragen mehr zu stellen …

Friday, 07.21

Yesterday at 4:30, we finally left … very annoyed … everyone was on their last nerve … voices clearly irritated … … the children figured out not to provoke any more fights and also not to ask any more annoying questions …

The perfectionist himself: husband to the gardener, father of three children, and seemingly the father of the RV. He is willing to go to great lengths to start something new here, but only if it is planned pristinely, regardless of its unpredictability. He sees it for what it is: just one more of the great many science experiments he structures in infinite detail.

Sonntag, 23.07

Ich wurde früh wach, wundervoller Sonnenaufgang. Fischreiher spielen fangen über’m Schiff.

Sunday, 07.23

I woke up early, beautiful sunrise. Fishermen played with their hooks off the side of the boat.

The gardener moves with nature’s neverending flow. It will lead her where she needs to go, just as it always has. Her mother told her that, and she moved just the same. The perfectionist and the gardener go hand in hand like puzzle pieces. Do opposites really attract? Or are the opposites really opposites at all?

Sonntag, 06.08

- Pragmatismus: alle duschen, Wäsche waschen, Daddy kann arbeiten

- Kinder leicht genervt, brauchen erstmal ihre Zeit, um sich mit sich selbst zu beschäftigen … wollten eigentlich starten in dem Park

- ich schreibe Postkarten; gegen drei verlassen wir den Platz, finden einen schönen Platz auf dem timber creek Platz

Sunday, 08.06

- pragmatism: everyone showering, washing the laundry, Dad has time to work

- children somewhat annoyed, need some time to themselves first … wanted to start their day in the park

- I’m writing postcards; around three, we leave the spot, finding a nice spot on the timber creek campground

They are both observers. It’s hard to observe the human condition; it’s hard to adjust to the human condition.

The perfectionist, with his wavering OCD diagnosis, embodies his father’s signature stoic, acutely aware presence. The gardener adopted her mother’s lively spirit and a deeply intrinsic desire to understand people. Although they are both observers, they are not both sharers. The gardener’s desire to understand him runs headfirst into his avoidance of perception.

Freitag, 22.07

Ich bleibe gerne zurück, koche und nehme unser kleines Reich im Beschlag … ich liebe es sofort … es ist eigentlich so anti-amerikanisch: klein, beschieden, aber unheimlich praktisch und durchdacht … und von uns wohl organisiert …

Friday, 07.22

I like to stay back, [I] cook and become engrossed in our little area … I love it immediately … it is actually the direct opposite of American: small, humble, but unbelievably practical and thought through … and well organized by us …

In taking on an American opportunity, there was so much brought to life that still did not manage to drown out home. Donor-funded academia, sensational media painting politics in the realm of reality TV, and wave after wave of commercialism—each of which knocks them out again. In the times when it becomes most overwhelming, the simple is what they always returned to, the things they were sure about.

The two were sure about their resolve to keep their kids on solid ground. A little bit more freedom with a little bit more responsibility, sending them out to a world they had barely had the chance to navigate.

Immediate high achievement is expected. America is competitive, and you have to get on board. Kids are already worrying about their high school credits in middle school and their college credits in high school. Everything and everyone is ranked, and there is a price tag on everyone.

Immigrants observe everything. Everything is larger than life here, so they have to. Everything moves quickly here, so they have to. Trying to slow everything down either fails or happens under the guise of first impressions.

The ultimate difference is that of reflection. Every little detail matters in that too, but it can be done on its own time. The gardener and the perfectionist do it on their own time, and so do their children by following their very nature, as children do. America is fantastical, over-the-top, and brimming with opportunity, as they say.

Who are you to not take it in?

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