Drink Up

In our regular drinks column, Kevin Fullerton tries a few tasty beverages and lets you know exactly what he thinks of them. This month we need to talk to Kevin about . . . the cost of living

As a ‘made man’ of the imbibing industry, I pass my time lazily in the palatial surroundings of List HQ. In the fashion of most well-to-do renaissance chaps, I entertain artists and musicians with my musings on the latest beverages that have passed through my lips, been absorbed by my stomach lining, and later expelled from my urethra in a warm stream of pure privilege. Cost of living crisis? More like shmost of shmiving crisis.

Not really. Like most of you, I’m skint. So, I’ve decided to find out if it’s possible to drink well on a shoestring budget. Each of these tipples has been purchased for less than a fiver, but can they go toe-to-toe with the luxury brands I usually cover in these booze-strewn pages?

First up is Hardys Chardonnay (Lidl, £4.99), the kind of franchised white wine I generally avoid in favour of more esoteric fare. The Hardys brand has become known for its almost pathological desire to avoid offending the tastebuds, and so this pale mixture is easier to drink than water. Bring it to a dinner party and it’ll be depleted without praise or reprobation, the white-wine equivalent of an ungarnished bread stick. Hardys Chardonnay is the Mrs Brown’s Boys or Michael McIntyre of the grape world, derided by snobs but favoured by those looking for simpler pleasures.

In the red-wine category, I’ve gone for the Cepa Lebrel Rioja Joven (Lidl, £4.88), in part because rioja is so commonly made that it provides a robust taste whatever the price tag. This one’s no different, as reliable as a partner you’ve grown to despise but who nonetheless keeps your two-bedroom flat clean. It’s also, unlike many reds at this price point, a smooth ride. A quiet-night-in wine that’s perfect for a skint February. If you need something to warm your stomach while you fret over your heating bills, this’ll do nicely.

And finally a beer of the hipster variety with Top Out Kellerbier Franconian Lager (Cornelius, £3.40). This one’s arguably a cheat choice as most beers are less than a fiver, but it’s proof that you don’t have to skimp if you want only one beer for your evening’s entertainment. Made in the Pentlands, it’s a local brew brimming with enough hops to satisfy lager puritans. We’re living in dire times right now, but at least a decent pint won’t break the bank.