Helen Bain Extract from What Elspeth Did

Helen Bain

Extract from What Elspeth Did

He sat at the kitchen table, watching her. She wore his shirt over bare legs, her mascara had smudged below her eyes. After lunch, in the rush of that second whisky and wanting to get her into bed, it had seemed a wonderful idea for them to come back here. James topped up his glass again. “What’s this masterpiece?” he said. “Squid and chorizo stew,” Alex said, leaning across the table to take his cigarette. The thought of squid brought a twinge of nausea – a harbinger of tomorrow’s atrocities. He whipped the cigarette back and took a drag to quell it. “Hey!” she said. She moved around the table and tried to awkwardly straddle his lap, one bare leg on either side of his, as if she were Christine Keeler and he were the chair. “I thought you were meant to be cooking,” he said, tipping her off in what he hoped was a playful manner. It was beginning to dawn on him that he wouldn’t be able to drive her home and he couldn’t very well ask her to get a cab. “What else are we having?” “This,” she said, unbuttoning the shirt a little further, striking a pose against the fridge. He laughed, almost against his will. “Come on then,” he said, pushing his chair back. “While the stew is stewing…” He caught her wrists and she screamed playfully. “Stop it!” she squealed. “Your phone went! No, I heard it.” “Saved by the bell,” he said, releasing her. The hall was cold and dark. His jacket was on the hall table, the phone in its pocket. He opened the message. Tell Els she left her black

hoodie here. I’ll bring it down next Sat. XX S. He stared at it. “Who was it?” called Alex. He turned at her voice, then moved to the window, ducking under the curtain to look out. The dark road was deserted. A slim half-moon was climbing above the clouds. Still behind the curtain, he dialled. “Hello?” “It’s me.” “Oh, James. You got my text? I didn’t mean you to call actually, I’m just about to go out.” “Where’s Elspeth?” he said. “Well, she’s with you, of course,” said Susannah stupidly. “I dropped her at Paddington this morning.” “She told me she was staying up there,” said James. “No, it was just two nights,” said his sister. “Because of her English test. She’s still got a lot of work to do, she got anxious about it.”

He spoke very slowly. “Why would she go all the way to London and then get on a train to come back here on a Saturday morning, Susannah?” “Because of the test. I told you. What’s going on, James?” “What time did you drop her off?” “Are you saying she’s not there?” “I’ll try her now.” He hung up without saying goodbye and tapped out Elspeth’s mobile number, listened without surprise to the recorded message. “Susannah? She’s switched it off.” “Oh God…” Her breathing was ragged. “Are you sure she didn’t come back and go out again? Have you checked her room? I knew I should have seen her on to the train but she said for me not to wait. There isn’t any short-term parking at the station, and…” “Shut up,” he said. He looked over his shoulder at the kitchen door again. Light shafted out from the edges, he could hear Alex singing to herself. “She’s gone to find him, you know. I don’t know how you can be so fucking stupid.”

“James, please. Don’t speak to me like that. Find who?” “Go and look for anything – and I mean anything at all – that will give an indication as to where she’s got to,” he said. “The wardrobe, the bin. Do it now. I’ll call you back. I’ve just got to deal with something.” “For God’s sake, James.” Her voice was sharp with reproof. “Have you got a student there? At a time like this?” “Five minutes ago, there was no time like this,” he hissed into the receiver. “Not until you came out of your permanent state of narcissism to notice that your own daughter is missing.” She was silent. His anger swelled. “Isn’t it about time you woke up?” He could hear Alex moving around in the kitchen. “Fifteen minutes,” he said into the miserable silence at the end of the line, and hung up. In the kitchen, Alex was pulling bottles and jars out of the fridge, piling them on to the draining board. “Do you know, half this stuff’s past its sell-by date?” she said over her shoulder. She tossed an ancient jar of mango chutney directly into the bin. “Bit like you, I suppose.” She lifted the lid off the pan and poked at the spitting chorizo with a wooden spoon. His mind swiftly made the calculation – time taken to talk her into leaving versus that which involved throwing her bodily out of the house – and the repercussions of each. “You need to go,” he said. “Oh, really?” she laughed, lifting the spoon to her mouth. “This is gorgeous, try a bit.” “I’ll get you a taxi.” The spoon fell back in the pan. “What is it? “Elspeth,” he said shortly. He moved her to one side, almost lifting her by her shoulders to turn off the gas. “Your niece?” “That was her mother. She’s missing.” “What – in London?” said Alex. “Don’t do that, it’s almost ready.” “I’ve got to find her,” he said, moving the dirty jars. His hands were shaking. “Hey, hey,” said Alex. She moved behind him and wrapped her

arms tightly around his chest. He felt her head rest against his back. “Calm down. Let’s think about this.” “She’s calling me back in a sec. I’m sorry, Alex, but I’m sure you understand.” “Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave you,” she said, rocking him back and forth. “Come on. Sit down.” Intoxication turned her concern into sentimentality, sluggish and cloying. Conversely, shock had sobered James up. “Have a drink and tell me exactly what happened. What did… Susannah, is it? What did she say?” Fury rose in him like a wave. The sound of Alex’s voice saying his sister’s name, her idiotic bossiness and mistimed solicitude, even the material of the shirt falling coquettishly off one shoulder… She poured more wine into his glass and he pushed it violently away. It tipped over, rolled off the table and smashed on the floor. “I don’t want a fucking drink!” he shouted. “I just want you to get out!”