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March 21, 2019
M ind & S oul
The Lorian
Tips with Trish:
Don’t say you understand, when you don’t Dear Trish
In this column by Tricia Borelli, director of Counseling Services, she answers questions from students about their emotional well-being while attending college. Send Questions or comments to Ms. Borelli, Loras, Box 100, or e-mail tricia.borelli@loras.edu. All names will be kept confidential.
by TRISH BORELLI Director of the Counseling Center
The stress of midterms is really getting to me. I’m overwhelmed by the workload in addition to having other responsibilities on my plate. My friends say I’m no fun because I don’t go out and am too focused on school. The truth is, besides my 16 credits, I also work two jobs. I don’t have much time left for socializing. I can’t afford not to finish school in four years. And financially, I need to work at least 20 hours a week. I pay for school and living expenses myself. This isn’t something I feel like my friends can really relate to. They tell me they “understand” when I talk about being broke, busy and stressed. I think they mean well, but they really don’t get it.
Signed, They can’t relate Trish says,
I believe people, for the most part, mean well when they try to
The Transfiguration Jesus reveals His true Godly nature to 3 of his followers on Mt. Tabor
Commandments, represented the Law of God. Elijah, one of the staff writer greatest and earliest prophets, The story of the Transfiguration represented all of the prophets is one that we have recently heard in through whom God spoke to Israel mass readings. It’s the story of how — who did their best to guide the Jesus took three of His followers people away from sin. They were up Mt. Tabor and revealed His true both important figures for the Jewish Godly nature in all its glory. Of people. Both had glimpses of God in special note is the appearance of encounters with Him in their lives, two long-dead heroes of the Old but now could Testament, see the full glory Moses and of God revealed Elijah. Why in the person these two of Jesus. Also, men out symbolically, of all the they were amazing passing the torch heroes of the to Jesus, the Bible? Why fulfillment of all not Adam they had served and Eve to God for. Moses witness the received and undoing communicated of their the Law, but mistake? Jesus is the Law, Why not the word made Abraham flesh. Elijah and or David, the prophets to see the spoke the word fulfillment of God to guide of God’s His people to promises to salvation. But them about Jesus is salvation, one of their through His decedents teaching of the bringing new covenant, blessings to and more the whole importantly world? The list of Moses and through His sacrifice on possibilities goes Elijah had the cross that redeemed on, but the answer is all humanity. Through glimpses of God that there were very the transfiguration, in encounters specific reasons for Jesus demonstrated the presence of these with Him in their that Moses and Elijah two figures. Their lives, but now are transfigured and presence physically could see the ultimately fulfilled demonstrated two — like everyone and full glory of God important elements everything in the Old of who Jesus is. revealed in the Testament — in the Moses, to whom person of Jesus. person of Jesus Christ, God gave the Ten by DANIEL CHARLAND
empathize with our experiences. Sadly, when others say they
“understand,” it often has the complete opposite effect: although they may be connecting with a shared feeling, they often don’t really know about the shared experience. Some people are very genuine and authentic and ask for more information when they encounter someone who is stressed. Others may think they are trying to be polite but don’t really want to delve into the actual experience of others -- either because they don’t care, or more often they don’t know what to do with the extra information. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. If you need some support and don’t feel like you’re getting it, you should tell someone. Sometimes friends need us to be specific. I’ve been married to my husband for 25 years and I still need to spell things out for him. If I tell him what I need and still don’t get some empathy, that’s an issue. If I don’t even tell him what’s bothering me, I really don’t
have a right to be frustrated. It sounds like sitting down with one or two friends and telling them you’re struggling might be in your best interest. If you can say money is really tight and you can’t afford to go out but would love to stay in and watch Netflix with them, maybe you’ll get a different response. Asking them not to give you a hard time but requesting some understanding might be more effective. This may be a hard or embarrassing experience, but if they’re good friends, they’ll probably appreciate it and be more sensitive going forward. This will probably also help you be less annoyed with them and less discouraged about your own situation. And the last option, of course, is to make an appointment with one of us in the Counseling Center. We are here to help you navigate your college experience and we specialize in listening to understand.
Signed, Trish
Run by Resting
Lenten thoughts on asceticism by JEFFREY FRIEDEN staff writer
Now that Lent is well on its way, let’s talk about asceticism, or, as MerriamWebster puts it, “the practice of strict self-denial as a measure of personal and especially spiritual discipline.” We tend to think of this as something difficult. We pass it by as the domain of monks and saints, but on some level it’s the vocation of every Christian. It can be compared to a kind of spiritual athleticism. After all, it comes from the Greek word ἄσκησις (askesis), which literally means athletic training. St. Paul talks about this spiritual athleticism when he writes, “Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one” (1 Cor 9:25). Aside from this meaning, it has also been called, “the science of Christian perfection.” It responds to Jesus’ call to “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt 5:48). This is a scary passage because we often think of perfection as daunting. It’s impossible to go through life without making mistakes, and trying to avoid every little mistake will reduce someone to a neurotic mess. Jesus doesn’t mean this when he says “be perfect.” Rather, he calls us to be complete. The word which is translated here as “perfect” is the Greek word “τέλειοι” (teleioi) which means to be complete, mature, or to have reached the end goal. Asceticism is not a matter of not making mistakes, but of growing into who God made us to be. We are to be full of love, just as God is full of love. Our end goal is to be loved by the God who made us. The first stage of reaching this goal is to rest in Christ and receive his love. His love makes us complete. More specifically, the moment when his love shines through most clearly and breaks into the world is when he is dying on the cross. We are made complete by his brokenness. He first brings us into this love in baptism, then nourishes us by it through the Mass. At the Mass, we
kneel at the foot of his cross, receive his love, and are strengthened by him. It is truly “the source and summit of the Christian life.” However, Christ doesn’t only desire to come to us through the Mass, but through all of our prayer. We most clearly rest in Christ in Eucharistic adoration. It is fitting that the monstrance in Christ the King says, “Venite ad me omnes qui laboratis,” or “Come to me, all of you who labor.” The verse finishes, “And I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28). In adoration, we rest with Christ. He is present to us and we rest in his love. It is only by learning how to sit quietly in his love that we can learn how to continue to live in his love, as we go out and serve the world. Asceticism does include service and penance, but it doesn’t start there. We must start with the end, which is to learn how to rest in God’s love. If our Lent is to be fruitful, we must not only give things up but also rest with Jesus. We must run our race by resting.
