The Lowdown - 2015-02 February

Vol. 21, No. 02, 2015

February

I'm very happy being me, although sometimes I'd love to be a bird so that I could fly. Joy Fielding

Making Cents of the Environment How Clean is your Fuel?

Those Who Dance Ziko’s Cuisine The Big Yellow Dedicated Followers of Fashion Star Gazer In the Garden Birds, Bugs and Bushes Eating Out

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Fool On The Hill Mole In The Hole Book Review Dirt at the Top Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog A Roof Without Teeing It Up Above 55 What’s Happening Employment Sought Small Adverts

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Front Cover Photograph: Lizard buzzard (Kaupifalco monogrammicus), Lusaka, Lusaka Zambia,

by Louann Chalcraft Editor: Heather Bender Chalcraft Layout & Design: Louann Chalcraft Published by: LH Publications Limited, Plot 8747, Buluwe Rd, (Off Leopards Hill Road), Woodlands.

PO Box 36666, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 266-353/266-287 editor@lowdownzambia.com www.lowdownzambia.com Winners of the 2011 Africast Tourism Journalist of the Year Award Advertising, Subscriptions and Distribution: ads@lowdownzambia.com Printed by: New Horizon Printing Press Ltd, PO Box 38871, Lusaka, Zambia. +260 211 236-637 1

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Purchase any Samsung product between 01 January and 28 February 2015 to win instant in-store prizes.

Buy before 31 January and you’ll stand a chance of winning 1 of 20 tickets to watch your heroes battle it out for the Orange Africa Cup of Nations in Equatorial Guinea.

Samsung is a proud sponsor of the Orange Africa Cup of Nations. In-store promotion valid from 01 January to 28 February 2015. Entry for tickets only valid on purchases made between 01 and 31 January 2015.

Five ticket winners will be drawn each week in January 2015. Tickets are not refundable. Oer only valid for purchases at Samsung brand stores, Samsung authorised shops and E-Zone. Terms and conditions apply.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. Martin Luther King Jr.

Making Cents of the Environment Readers of the local press on 22 and 23 January may have noticed two adverts, one from Shoprite and one from a company called Zambian Brands Ltd. These were text only adverts, no familiar logos or branding to draw your attention except that they were headed PUBLIC NOTICE. Both adverts were notifications that these two companies intend to apply to our National Biosafety Authority to import specified food products containing Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO). The named products were various Flora, Rama, Stork, Bakers and Willards products; products which were on the shelves of our supermarkets until just a few months ago.

We can only conclude that the catalyst for these advertisements is that the Biosafety Authority has now started enforcement of the Act which was signed back in 2007.

Regionally, South Africa has, for a number of years now, been producing GMO maize.

Given that an enormous proportion of the finished foodstuffs on our supermarket shelves come from South Africa, it is probably safe to say that we have over the years, in our ignorance, been partaking of GMO products. Take a look at the labels – if it contains Corn Syrup and is manufactured in South Africa, it likely contains GMO. The dilemma that we face is that many consumers are not concerned or are ignorant about the long term effects of GMO on their health; they are more concerned about their

We have also concluded that the same enforcement was the reason why Flora, Stork etc disappeared from supermarket shelves.

If this is indeed the case, we applaud this development. Yet at the same time, we ask what other GMO products are not now on the shelves. It is hard to believe that only the handful of listed products have been imported into Zambia.

GMO crops and foodstuffs has long been on the list of issues for which the country needs to formulate a clear and definite policy. For a number of years now, Zambia has had a ban on the importation of GMO maize. But as we have seen, there has not been any enforcement or limitations on importing and selling manufactured products containing GMO. There is also ongoing pressure for a change in the policy on GMO maize seed and seed for other GMO crops.

ability to purchase these items – their pay packets only stretch so far and many will forego the health issues as long as they have margarine to spread on the sandwiches they take to work each day.

This is where labeling comes in. Currently in Zambia there is no requirement that foodstuffs containing GMO is labeled as such. If such a requirement is put in place (and the labeling should be very clear and visible) and at the same time a campaign to sensitise (don’t you just hate that word!) the public on the dangers of GMO foodstuffs, then consumers can make their own 3

decisions. Those who can afford the more costly alternatives, will leave the GMO products on the shelves and buy the more natural products. Those who can’t afford it but don’t want to forego it, will go for the cheaper GMO product.

However, this does not solve the problem in the longer term for those that are of the opinion that GMO is detrimental to our health and who would like to avoid all GMO foods. Perhaps now is the time for our government to give some support to our local manufacturers. By putting in place incentives for local manufacturers to invest in the plant and equipment, in a few years, the equivalent non GMO products could be produced locally at which time, there can be a complete ban on the importation of equivalent finished GMO products. Not only

would this boost our local manufacturing industry, but it also has the potential to develop into an export for Zambia. This would be a boost for Zambia, socially, economically and environmentally.

Which brings us to the next point – GMO seed.

There is little doubt that soon Monsanto, Cargill, Syngenta and Dupont, who now control most of Southern Africa’s seed companies, will soon apply for permission to introduce GMO seed to our farmers.

GMO crops are proven to yield higher than non GMO crops. However in their current narrow application, seeds are made resistant to agro-chemicals and specific mutations of pests. Thus the short term benefit of higher yields is very quickly outweighed by the

If food is labelled, some people might choose to eat stuff that's genetically modified. They might decide they love it.

But give us a choice. Ziggy Marley

need to use more and more chemicals.

These chemicals destroy soil organic matter and biodiversity. The destruction of soil organic matter in turn leads to less uptake of fertilisers and poorer water cycles which in turn leads to greater application of fertilizers and chemicals thus reducing farmers’ profitability. It also increases dependence on GMO suppliers for seed, and therefore for food. An untenable situation for a country!

Apart from the damage to our soils and biodiversity, we should also be protecting 4

Zambia’s global market status. Zambia is the last of two countries in Africa that can guarantee GM-free maize and thus can export to consumers anywhere in the region and around the world with little or no competition. Surely this advantage far outweighs the 10% claimed increase in yield promised by GMO at high social, economic and environmental cost.

As a country, we need to think very carefully - there is NO way back from GM contamination in our seed.

Only true love can fuel the hard work that awaits you. Tom Freston

How Clean Is Your Fuel?

We often hear comments about the quality of fuel purchased from the different Fuel Stations.

A visual check on fuel purchased at a few fuel stations in the Kabulonga Area.

I hear you wondering - So what’s the conclusion? Well there isn’t one - I’m certainly not a rocket scientist - if there are any readers who are, send us an email with your comments.

Petroda, Engen, Puma, Total

Diesel Left to Right: Spot the difference

Petrol Left to Right: Spot the difference Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their effor ts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to conver t stupidity into clean fuel. Scott Adams 5

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin

Those Who Dance

Mónica Muñoz was born and grew up in Santiago de Chile. She settled in South Africa in 2002 after a number of years spent travelling around the world. Mónica has been dancing since 1991 and started teaching Cuban Salsa in 2004. Upon moving from Durban to Gauteng she started Estilo Cubano. She began teaching Salsa Dance Classes and launched her popular Salsa parties.

On 21 February, (See What’s Happening for details) Monica is coming to Lusaka to impart two workshops, Cuban Salsa for Beginners and Intermediate. With Monica as instructor you will learn the essential Salsa steps in a fun and energetic atmosphere.

Keep in mind; this is a partner dance so

you’ll meet plenty of likeminded people along the way!

The Beginner Workshops focus on developing the dance fundamentals, including rhythm, coordination, balance and range of motion involved. Here you will learn the specific artistic and technical aspects of Cuban Salsa, like body movement, basic steps and turn patterns, techniques for partnering and the basic calls of Rueda de Casino. The Intermediate level is well suited to students who know the fundamentals and wish to develop their artistry and personal style.

Visit www.estilo-cubano.com for more info or Facebook /EstiloCubanoSalsaDancing

Ziko’s Cuisine

Ziko’s Cuisine prides itself as Zambia’s first mobile food truck. Based in Lusaka – owned and operated by husband and wife team, Zieglar and Suzy Ziko, the truck contains a fully equipped kitchen to cook food on site at any place.

‘We both have a strong passion towards food, Zieglar has been cooking for many years and I’ve managed food related events so we thought why not open a business’, explains Suzy, ‘We also wanted to reach out to people with our food and not be stuck at a restaurant, so we came up with the idea of having a food truck.’

Ziko’s Cusine travels around to events and public areas selling freshly cooked food. The menu changes frequently but mainly consists of burgers, chicken, fries, salads and soft serve ice cream. They are also available to cater at private events, offering a bespoke menu.

To see when and where Ziko’s Cuisine will be cooking near you next – please like their Facebook page. Or if you are holding an event and want food available, comtact them on 097 752-0377 or 097 310-4221 or via email info@zikoscuisine.com

The Big Yellow Many readers will have seen the announcement just before Christmas that the World Health Organisation has declared Zambia a Yellow Fever free area. The take away from this, we are being told, is that anyone travelling from Zambia to South Africa will no longer need to show proof that they have been vaccinated against yellow fever.

Don’t believe it!

We have received numerous reports that travelers are still being asked for their Yellow Books when boarding aircraft in Lusaka 6

destined for Jo’burg or other South African airports and they are still being asked, although intermittently, to produce their Yellow Books on arrival.

Attempts were made to speak to officials at the South African Embassy in Lusaka, but despite calling during normal working hours on a normal working day, their phones went unanswered.

If you are travelling to South Africa, don’t take the chance – carry the Big Yellow with you to avoid being turned back.

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Mother Teresa.

Dedicated Followers of Fashion They seek him here, they seek him there, His clothes are loud, but never square.

It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best, ‘Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

So go the words of the 1966 song from the Kinks.

For Zambians that are dedicated followers of fashion, they will be pleased to know that Giordano, the international retail fashion brand, has chosen Zambia to launch its first store in Africa.

Giordano was founded in Hong Kong in 1981 and is now one of the world’s leading international retailers of men’s, women’s and children’s apparel and accessories.

The brand operates more than 2,500 retail stores in over 40 countries around the world including Canada, Australia, Dubai and Singapore. Forbes Middle East ranked Giordano as one of the Top 100 companies making a difference in the Arab World.

Anyone who has travelled to Dubai or Hong Kong will know this brand and know that it stands for quality clothing at a quality price.

And a look around our fellow Zambians shows that Zambians do like to dress well and be in fashion.

To help launch the store in Zambia, Giordano has commissioned specially designed Zambian national polo shirts in the men’s and women’s

ranges with the number 64, to signify the year of Zambia’s Independence, emblazoned on the front. We are told they wanted something special and unique for Zambia. Something cool that you can wear out anywhere in the world which would have style but also national identity.

The brand has also signed on former national football team captain and 2012 African Footballer of the Year, Christopher Katongo, as its brand ambassador. “Chris represents a lot of the values which are important to the Giordano brand – passion, pride, aspiration and achievement. We all remember where we were the night of the 2012 AFCON Final.

Chris and the rest of the 2012 squad will forever be heroes.”

Giordano Zambia has a Facebook page through which they will keep consumers informed of their latest styles, merchandise deliveries and their regular competitions.

The mission of Giordano Zambia is simple – “To make people feel good and look great” – let’s hope they do just that.

The Giordano store is scheduled to open at East Park Mall, Lusaka on 31 January.

For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream. Vincent Van Gogh

The Sky in February At any given time there are thousands of comets moving through our little solar system on the edge of our galaxy, named the Milky Way. Recently, the Rosetta probe was sent to orbit around Comet Churyumov– Gerasimenko. On November 12, 2014, its lander, Philae, successfully landed on the comet’s surface, the first time a spacecraft has ever landed on such an object in history.

Comets

There are some short-period occuring comets, such as Halley’s Comet which circuits the sun every 76 years, the next visit will be 2061. These comets originate in the Kuiper belt while the long-period comets are thought to originate from the Oort Cloud.

Most comets orbits are eccentric to the planetary disc.

Non Periodic comets such as hyperbolic comets may pass once through the inner Solar System before being flung out to interstellar space along hyperbolic trajectories, never to be seen again.

In 2007 Comet C/2006 P1 (McNaught) displayed a huge tail which was visible in the early evening and has a period of approximately 92,600 years and is an example of a non-periodic comet. On January 13 and 14, 2007, the comet attained an estimated maximum apparent magnitude of -5.5.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C/2006_P1

Comets are small icy bodies that, when passing close to the Sun, heat up and begin to outgas, showing a visible coma and sometimes a tail. Comet nuclei are anything from a few metres to tens of kilometres across. They are usually composed of ice, dust and small rocky particles. Depending on the composition and how close the comet passes from the sun determines the colour and size of the tail which may be observed.

by Gwyn Thomas

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During December 2014 the comet Lovejoy 2014-Q2 travelled through our solar system towards the sun. It was closest to the Earth on 7 January and closest to the Sun on 30 January 2015. During February it will be visible through binoculars and telescopes in Aries through to Triangulum towards Andromeda. It will be fading towards the end of February as it starts moving towards the outer Solar System. During December and January the comet showed a blue tail.

It is a long-period comet discovered on 17 August 2014 by Terry Lovejoy using a 0.2-meter Schmidt–Cassegrain telescope in the southern constellation of Puppis. It will have an orbital period of about 8000 years.

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap150121.html

Meteor showers are usually the result of the Earth passing through the debris trails of various comets. Halley is the parent body of two meteor showers: the Eta Aquariids in early May, and the Orionids in late October.

Glossary

Kuiper Belt - a region of the Solar System beyond the planets, extending from the orbit of Neptune (at 30 AU) to approximately 50 AU from the Sun. Oort cloud - a spherical cloud of icy bodies extending from outside the Kuiper Belt to halfway to the next nearest star

Diary of Astronomical Phenomena

During February the 5 major planets: • Mercury will be in Capricorn and be visible in the morning sky • Venus will be moving from Aquarius to Pisces and be visible in the evening sky • Mars will be moving from Capricorn to Aquarius and be visible in the evening sky • Jupiter is moving from Leo into Cancer and is prominent all night • Saturn is in Scorpio and is visible all night.

• Neptune is in Capricorn and Uranus is in Pisces Meteor Showers alpha Centaurids gamma Normids 10

Visible 28/01 - 21/02 25/02 - 22/03

Peak 07/02 13/03

d 1 3 4 4 5 7 9 12 13 17 19 20 21 21 22 22 25 26 26

Event Venus near Neptune Jupiter near the Moon Full Moon Jupiter and Regulus near the Moon Regulus near the Moon alpha Centaurid meteor shower max.

Spica near the Moon Last Quarter Moon Saturn near the Moon Mercury near the Moon New Moon Venus-Moon 7.8° Venus near the Moon Venus-Moon 7.0° Mars near the Moon Venus near Mars Uranus near the Moon First Quarter Moon Aldebaran near the Moon Double shadow transit on Jupiter (Callisto & lo)

In The Garden

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love. Max Muller

Anthuriums are one of the most worthwhile plants to grow. Their spathes (the large coloured ”petals”) are eye-catching and last for ages. They are a wonderful flower for floral arrangements and the large heart-shaped leaves are attractive. I first saw anthuriums growing commercially in Mauritius.

A very large shade house provided shelter for hundreds of plants. Anthuriums like constant warmth but will tolerate our winter temperatures.

Much more important is the humidity. Inside the shade house were sprinklers that automatically misted the air with water when the humidity dropped below a certain level. In Zambia, these plants need the shade of a tree, with good, well-drained compost underneath it. Regular watering twice a week will suffice except in the hot, dry season (September, October and November before the rains arrive), when the plants should be sprayed with water from a hosepipe at least once a day and preferably twice.

If brown edges appear on the leaves, the humidity is too low and more frequent spraying is needed.

Anthuriums can be grown as pot plants quite easily.

Add some small chips of charcoal and some river sand to the compost. Make sure the tray below the pot is never full of water, as this will rot the roots. When watering pot plants it is a general rule to add water slowly until the first rivulets appear in the tray – then STOP! Water needs to reach the soil throughout the pot but avoid water-logged soil as the roots cannot “breathe”. Another general rule is to check that the surface of the soil is dry before adding more water to the pot. Touching the soil is far more accurate than just looking at it! This applies particularly to so-called “water-loving” plants like the maidenhair fern. The maidenhair fern in fact abhors too much water and will die a cruel and permanent death if left soggy for too long. On the other hand, if it gets too dry all the fronds will wither; in this case cut them all off, soak the pot in water until it is saturated then leave it for a few days and water as normal. New fronds will soon appear and the plant will recover.

If the anthuriums do not flower, add a little manure to the soil, or cover the soil with extra compost containing comfrey leaves. Another sign of malnutrition is small leaves. They should be at least 30 cms. long.

If the leaves are smaller than this, the plant may need splitting. This should be done at the beginning of the rains. Each piece with roots attached can be re-planted and will develop into a new plant. The most common colour is a bright red but there are pink, pale pink and white forms as well as a miniature form with very dark red spathes. Anthurium crystallinum is a foliage plant with huge, dark green, velvety leaves with ivory veins. It is a dramatic and beautiful pot plant.

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No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. William Blake.

The lizard buzzard (Kaupifalco monogrammicus) is a bird of prey which occurs in tropical Africa, south of the Sahara.

Lizard Buzzard

Kaupifalco monogrammicus

It is a smallish stocky raptor around 36 cm in length. The head and breast are grey. They have a vertical black line on the white throat, which distinguishes this species from all other raptors. The belly is white with fine dark barring. The underwings are white with dark tips. The tail is black with a white tip and a single white band. Male and female are similar.

It mainly eats lizards, snakes, frogs and rodents, doing most of its hunting from a perch over long grass, pouncing on prey on the ground.

It generally prefers savanna woodland, especially miombo (Brachystegia) woodland in higher rainfall areas.

Little is known about its movements and migratons, but it is thought to be largely resident and sedentary. There is evidence to suggest that it moves from moist woodland in summer to more arid savanna in winter.

Little is known of its breeding habits but it is thought be a monogamous, territorial solitary nester. The nest is built by both sexes, consisting of a stick platform with a shallow depression in the centre, which is lined with Old-mans-beard lichen (Usnea), pine (Pinus) needles and occasionally green leaves. It is typically placed high up in a tall tree.

Egg-laying season is from May January, peaking from September - October. It lays 1 - 3 eggs, which are incubated solely by the female for about 32 - 34 days, while the male provides her with food.

The chicks leave the nest at about 40 days old, remaining in the same tree for another four days or so before moving away; they become fully independent at approximately 90 days old.

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There is no sincerer love than the love of food. George Bernard Shaw.

I couldn’t resist the last minute invitation to lunch at Latitude 15º. I had walked through rubble, peeped into the quasi-‘luxury safari’ decorated suites, seen the chandeliers go up and watched the garden green-up and flourish for the best of the year, but not made it to the restaurant.

Friends have raved about the Bar, but my preoccupation was the food. Still a closet vegetarian, I glanced through the choice of starter / mains but stuck to what always makes me comfortable. I don’t like being disappointed and I knew I could rely on not a few colleagues to give me the heads-up on the Latitude burger, so I chose the haloumibased salad – me being consistent as mud!

The salads comes in large white bowls which set off the colours of the multiple vegetables thinly grated, sliced and tossed into the bowl with tasty dressings. I honestly didn’t see our waitron flicker when I asked for chips on the side. That day, even though there were four of us toasting the Christmas season early, our choice was the elegant chilled bottles of mineral water, stamped with the Latitude logo.

Latitude 15º

dark chocolate, coffee and white chocolate cream in a single dessert, but you can also have freshly made vanilla ice-cream ensconced in a praline white chocolate case, strawberries were in season and there are cheesecake options. But I fell for the chocolate, thinking there would be enough to share – well the portion was just the opposite of the heaped salad bowl but one mouthful and I knew why – delicious but probably packing more kilojoules than is polite to mention in public I munched it down alone!

Our cheque without other drinks, neither soft nor hard, meant the two-course meal I have just described, came to just under K500 for the four of us. Expected, considering the quality of food and ambiance that we were treated to.

We sat on the wooden decked area outside the main section of the restaurant shaded by large trees, looking over to glass framed corridors housing the rooms on the western side. My friends opted for large salads too, but theirs had mixtures of nut, salmon and prosciutto experimenting with melon balls and sliced avocado; also generously dressed with Mediterranean-style flavours.

Without letting out all of their secrets, I believe the experience during the Month of Love is especially tempting. The Latitude 15º boutique hotel is on Leopards Lane, the last road right as you approach Lake Road crossroads coming from town down the Leopards Hill Road. Turn into Leopards Lane and look for the clear sign just a couple of doors down on the right.

None of us had any difficulty finishing our meals and so went on to the choice of dessert, tea and coffee. Very few of us can resist a combination that promises

To be sure of a large booking you can call ahead, 0211268802 but if it’s just for the two of you, take a chance and just turn up www.thelatitudehotels.com

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Love keeps the cold out better than a cloak. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Thanks be to St Bernard I survived that bloody holiday, though I am a broken man and in my house at least, 52 is the new 70.

I told you I was going skiing for virtually the first time in my life (the literal first time involving the descent of a Canadian mountainside on my arse whilst clutching skis) and I suggested that this was almost certain to involve hospitalisation. I can now confirm that this is true although I wrongly assumed an acute and accidental affliction and a short vacation in Parisian plaster, rather than the chronic condition of my body aging at a rate of two years for every day spent on the slopes. I am now hospital ... nay hospice ... with biltonged lips, lungs full of deathly emphysema-induced mucous from a high altitude flu, knees that quake and clack like castanets with every step, a pair of Achilles heels and severe hipflask dependency.

We sat out the week before Christmas in the UK reading reports of the warmest winter temperatures in the French Alps since the 1960’s. The kids were threatening “Snow or Suicide!” and it looked like we had accidentally booked a rather expensive hiking holiday. We left Derbyshire on Boxing Day and the snow mocked our departure, arriving scant minutes after we had slammed our over-laden hire car’s doors. Hallelujah, the night of the 27th brought a dump of snow on the French Alps and while we arrived a mere hour late into Geneva, two thousand sorry souls sat stranded in the airport at Chambery. But screw them ... we had our snow and would ski after all! We passed through Bourg St Maurice and climbed, in conditions of blissful blizzard the 1000m switchback up the mountain to La Rosiere which sits at 1850m on the Espace San Bernado ski area bordering Italy, in the lee of Mont Blanc. The rest of the outlaws had arrived by car and laid claim to the chalet which of course turned out to be a cramped apartment three floors and sixty two steep, soggy-carpeted steps above the High Street.

Nevertheless there were sufficient bedrooms, even if we did have to sit on each other’s laps to occupy the le salon at the same time

and risk painful intercourse if entering the kitchen at the same time as the chef.

La Rosiere is everything the first time winter Alpinist could want with twinkling lights, Savoyard slate roofs with foot thick carpets of crisp white snow, the ring of children’s laughter in the street and French cashiers at the Carrefour Montagne supermarche so heartbreakingly pretty and so sweetly and sexily spoken that the exchange for the purchase of a tube of Deep Heat felt like the opening verbal foreplay of a new love affair.

The last time I was in France pissoires were still in existence, Disney had not replaced Gauloises and Pernod in the hearts and minds of children and everything was dirty and shabby. The French said they had recently hosted a war and hadn’t got around to cleaning up after their German houseguests. But everything was picture postcard this time around with recycling bins and ashtrays every fifty metres, free buses and a tolerance of the English bordering on the downright friendly. Having already relieved us of the equivalent of the cost of an MBA for accommodation and catering our charming Irish tour operator now presented us with a bill for ski passes, equipment hire and private tuition that would have ordinarily been enough to keep me in chapatti and Kilimanjaro beer for a year on the beach.

And we still had to fend for ourselves at lunchtime. Luckily what we think of as top dollar delicatessen items in the Anglophone countries are simple staple faire to your Frenchman, so even with the resort price hike, it was cheap as frites to stock the fridge with the most delicious breads, meats and cheeses known to man and we were close enough to the slopes to return home every lunch time for a bite, as much all inclusive Sauvignon Blanc as we could quaff and to deposit the smaller children into the care of Kate the lovely Glaswegian nanny we found in one of the apartment’s many cluttered cupboards, whose services when added to 15

our ever expanding tab, cost the same as those of a woman with much bigger breasts, fewer clothes and looser morals.

cruelly lured onto a red run and mockingly abandoned to flounder and roll back to base camp in their wake.

The first day on the slopes started with my introduction to Romain, my Evolution2 ski instructor, a fine young man of 27 in his 9th year as an instructor with the telltale cotton bobbins though his earlobes identifying him as one of the snowboarding tribe. Nevertheless that boy could ski and patiently over the next few days he took me under his tutelage though somewhat disappointed that Gillie had left us to ski alone rather than be hampered by my largely quadripedal traversal of the slopes. He soon learned that by plying me with Marlboro and encouraging me to make liberal use of the two hipflasks (one petite and silver, the other an industrial sized Stanley) I always carried, sufficient courage could be engendered in me to face downhill and even allow gravity to have its wicked way with me. Soon I was snowploughing with the most confident three year olds on the nursery slopes and by the end of day two was no longer having to use these unfortunate creatures as anchors to slow my descent. After each lesson I would spend a further four or five hours skiing alone (my family having deserted me) draining the rest of the flasks of single malt, stopping at cafe’s on the piste to drink beer or coffee with Amaretto and forgetting every lesson I had learned in the morning, so that I could present my instructor with a blank canvas to work on the next day.

Occasionally I would glimpse on the slopes my former wife carving elegant curves in the snow, or one of my children appearing airborne from the tree line at an altitude of several metres above the powder drifts, to land confidently back on the piste and disappear down the piste throwing in the occasional perfectly executed three sixty degree spin. Or my 5 year old would careen past me as I side-slid down a treacherous 20 degree green run with his hands behind his back, crouched low like a speed-skater, the wind whistling through the adhesive horns on his helmet. I expected and accepted humiliation at the hands of strangers, but this familial conspiracy was too much.

Once about half way through the holiday we tried to ski together as a family but I was

For the first few days I tried to justify my Amazon spending spree by wearing all the paraphernalia I had purchased online. This would have been sufficient gear to make an assault on the North Pole in December but caused such terrible sweaty, overheating on the sunny slopes of La Rosiere that at one point when I took off my jacket a little girl nearby cried out to her father “Daddy!! why is that man on fire?!” I looked in the window of the ESF behind which sat a row of sublimely beautiful French cashiers their pretty faces contorted in alarm, and saw reflected a beetroot faced monster with eyes bulging from its sockets and palls of steam rising from its upper torso which heaved like that of an awakening ogre. The next day wearing only one layer of clothing and half a dozen assorted orthopedic braces under my ski jacket I found myself able to not only walk to the drag lift without having to lie down in the snow several times, but to bend my arms and legs and after a fashion, to ski.

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From the initial experience of opening my legs too wide on the drag lift I had learned my lesson. The gluteus maximus is not to be under-rated being the largest muscle in your body. Buttocks are immeasurably strong, and barring the discomfort from lurking hemorrhoids, more than able to grip the plastic button firmly with little effort as you are propelled up the slope. Your fingers are not. I defy Bruce Willis or Tom Cruise to make it to the top of drag number four at La Rosiere with the button in one hand and a hip flask in the other. It can’t be done ... not standing up anyway.

Sadly the more able I became, the more challenging the descents I would attempt and the more times I would have to refill the flasks each day to master my fear. We attempted another family ski outing and due to insubordination in the ranks and my painfully slow meandering progression down the slope, missed the last ski lift from Les Eucherts and had to catch a bus back to La Rosiere. We all sulkily stomped off in different directions and eventually four of us ended up on the same bus with our oldest

walking ahead. When Gillie held open the bus doors too long at the next stop to let him catch up an ugly scene erupted with the driver who tried to wrestle her ski poles from her and throw her off the bus. Gillie meanwhile gave a performance worthy of Meryl Streep shouting in pidgin French “Avez vous pas de children of your own!

HE IS MY SON! EEL AYMONFISSE”. To which he shouted back “Ce ne est pas un TAXI PUTAIN!” I spent the rest of the trip constructing my rapier parting shot in French but in attempting to say “Your life will never amount to anything more than being a bus driver, you swine!” I believe I told him as I disembarked, that in my whole life, as a pig, I had never met a more magnificent bus driver. At least he greeted me warmly for the rest of the week whenever we rode his bus, confident that I applauded his bullying of my wife.

After six days in the warren we moved to a chalet far more deserving of the title, in a garden surrounded by fir trees filigreed with snow, ample space, a sauna, a Jacuzzi just a short ski bus debacle down the hill in Le Gollets. Now we had room to spread out, a fabulous chef and hostess (again from the snowboarding tribe) and a brand new venue for the kids to fight in. Which they did ... constantly. Sumptuous four course meals were on offer and bottomless plonk but by this time I was already in pieces and would return each evening walking like a callipered cripple to lie in a hot bath and to rinse out my drenched and odiferous lycra and wool in the same bathwater like old man Steptoe, leaving it to dry for the next day’s onslaught. I would then crawl on hands and knees up to the communal area to lie like a crash test dummy cast from a great height

onto jagged rocks awaiting the next tartiflette au reblochon or other impossibly rich concoction of French ingredients which I would wash down with a litre bottle of cidre before staggering, whimpering off to bed. As romantic getaways go ... it was long gone.

As the holiday drew to a close I forgot to take the antipsychotic medication I require to stop me spiraling into a well of hopeless morbidity and consequently found the presence of my family almost unbearable on the rare occasions when they kept to a plan to meet up at one of the restaurants on the slopes and I spent more and more time on my own like some half crazed mountain man, reeking of sweated fear and whisky, hurling abuse at every undulation in the snow which plotted my downfall, talking myself through each turn with a “HUP!!” and a “STAND! You bastard!” and a bawled expletive if the turn was less than poetic.

Families gave me a wide berth and clutched children to their bosoms. Rescue teams on skidoos circled my progress like vultures.

Gradually I got some knack but even towards the end the tiny hard drive of my mind would erase itself and in the middle of a downhill run which had started with some promise of style, I would forget everything and cartwheel down the slope cursing loudly, arms and legs flying, ski’s akimbo and poles lost. Confusingly this would even happen when I was standing on the perfectly flat terrain outside the ecole du ski. I wondered aloud “Why?” Romain said simply “Scotch” and introduced me to Génépi, an absinthe-like maceration of wormwood or Artemisia which presumably in addition to curing malaria makes you ski better. That helped. But not much.

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I love to travel, but sometimes it's nice to stay in one place. Gustavo Dudamel

Let’s Go See the DMZee

“My name is Han and you are now, all of you, Han’s friends!” These were the opening remarks of our tour guide as we sat, crammed in on a Happy Good Day minibus, at the start of our tour of the border between North and South Korea. Soon we are bowling along a very busy dual carriageway heading West (this gets confusing when you always think that China is to the East) along the north Bank of the Han River. As we trundle along we are entertained by the guide; “Do you know, we have had recent famous visitor?” Modesty forbade me putting my name forward but some young American, displaying the ignorance that often comes from that Continent, suggested that it was Obama. “Hah, No! It was the Poppa! Do you know, Rerigion? In Korea 50% are Buddhist, 50% Christian and another 30% are Catolik!”

I wish that I could speak Korean as well as Han could speak English so one must forgive him his minor mathematical error. We left the last bridge crossing over the Han and followed, northward, the northern branch of the estuary. Things started to take on a grimmer tone as between us and the river

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was a rather serious fence with guard posts along them with the occasional sign which gave the impression that you were dog meat if you were found on the other side of the fence. (Talking of Dog Meat, Yes, Koreans do eat dog, but it is a particular type of dog, specially bred for the table and often served up as ”poshin tang”, dog soup, believed to be excellent for a chap’s stamina in bed. This is not like less fussy nationals of adjoining countries! I know that this is a digression from the story but when ZCCM started recruiting Philippinos to swell the ranks of us miners the abundant packs of stray dogs that used to be a bit of a nuisance in Kalulushi disappeared.

God bless them, our Chinese friends seem to be carrying on the tradition and places like Garneton have no stray dogs around at all!)

Intensive cultivation was the name of the game to the east of us, rice predominating but then serried ranks of greenhouses (well, black plastic houses) were crammed full of all the variety of vegetables that the Koreans love to eat. All the little farm buildings were modern.

Steep hills abounded along the way, one of which had a huge sailing ship perched upon it. Either someone had inside knowledge of a new biblical type flood or they had read the instructions wrong. It was, apparently, a rather up market restaurant. We moved on up a smaller river, the Imjin, site of more carnage in the winter of 1950/1 wherein the United Nations forces were reeling from the sudden assaults made by the Chinese “Volunteers” come to repel the filthy Imperialists. Further along the river stood the famous Gloucester Hill, where the “Glorious Gloucesters” held up a massive Chinese incursion for a couple of days in the battle of the Imjin River in April 1951,thereby allowing all to recover from the infectious “Bug Out Fever” and consolidate

the line behind them. The losses to the regiment in casualties and captivity were enormous but immortality is not easily won.

After some 90 minutes we arrived at a view point where we could gaze across the demilitarized zone to the North. In the distance we could be seen funny bits of propaganda like a couple of imitation villages, a monstrous statue of one of the “Dear Leaders” and, further away, the city of Kaesong where there is an industrial complex of over 120 companies built by South Koreans that employs some 50,000 North Koreans to manufacture items for consumption in the rest of the world. Every day 80 odd South Koreans arrive at Dorasan Station and are bussed across the border to supervise everything. The workers there are paid a fraction of what a South Korean would earn but the foreign exchange still makes them wealthy by comparison with the rest of the populace. A number of similar projects were set up but all these have withered on the vine. Propaganda is not one sided, on the hill behind us was a huge cross, illuminated at night, as a beacon of hope for the poor oppressed across the border. I am told that it has just been dismantled as a bit of appeasement!

Now, the next stop was the site of one of the tunnels dug under the DMZ by the North Koreans. These gentlemen seem to have nothing better to do than build tunnels. The garrison over there is split into 12 sectors and each is rumored to be in the tunnel building business. So far only 4 have been discovered, the one that we visited was tunnel No 3 and it has been turned by the South Koreans into a major tourist attraction, complete with a clever museum, film show, tourist “shoppe” 20

etc. The place was overcrowded by midgets, it seemed! Now, we gathered that this tunnel was discovered in part by defectors indicating a general position, then by drilling holes and filling them with water. All of a sudden the water disappeared from one of the holes and some poor North Korean squaddie most probably got very wet! When the South Koreans told the world of their find the North Koreans first of all claimed that it was a tunnel from the South, then that they were actually mining coal and last of all, I am sure, that it was all the surveyor’s fault and he had been removed and purged! Now the South Koreans went and gained access to the North Korean tunnel by getting hold of a tunnel borer and mining down to it. At the bottom they then mined another tunnel up to surface and equipped it with a smart little train so that any apamwamba who came to visit could be whisked below in style and comfort.

Not so for Muggins who joined the crowd of touristos grabbing hard hats and heading down a long, long decline of about 30°. Now the Madam, who had steadfastly resisted all the invitations to go underground back home, certain that harm was about to happen to her stubborn old fool of a husband, followed on, waiting for the inevitable collapse, stroke or seizure to strike. It was a long way down but, at the bottom, it was just like any other 2 by 2 metre square excavation. Rubber matting was on the footwall and canvas strung over scaffolding, covering the dripping wet hanging wall to keep the crowds of touristos dry. In consequence I had to stoop low to avoid clattering the head. Marching onwards you eventually come to the barricade that stops you wandering off to the proletariat heaven to the north. It was along this tunnel

that it was planned to send 30 000 men an hour to make a lightening invasion of the South. I was glad to have visited it but I do not think that I will ever bother again! This thought was reinforced by the long climb back up the access raise. On the way up the raise there were defibrillators set at regular intervals. At the top there was a quad bike ready to tear down and pick up people who had collapsed; if only I had seen it on the way down I would have given serious thought to faking it!

The last part of the trip took us to Dorasan Station, a beautiful modern edifice, virtually deserted, with a number of trains a day going back to Seoul. As the huge mural decorating part of the walls showed the actual railway line continued north and, if the whole world would only stop being utterly mad, you could carry on to London via the trans Siberian Express and EuroStar! That is, of course, if you wanted to and had 10 days to spare!

Of course, seeing a station meant that we had to investigate trains. The railway museum just to the South of Seoul was visited, beautifully

presented, spotlessly clean, working defibrillators and virtually empty. Beside the museum was the main line going south, populated by very fast trains, I determined to have a go on one of those. Leaving the museum I was struck by the immense heaps of freight containers around the place, all brought in by rail from the port of Busan.

If only we could get all our freight traffic in containers on trains!

So, what a good excuse, the only place in Korea to eat lamb was at Agnelli’s restaurant on the sea front in Busan! For some reason lamb is not a popular food. So let us go for lunch. The Madam and I were carefully escorted down to a platform in the vast main station for Seoul, where a huge train waited, it seemed just for us, and away we went in supreme comfort for the 2 odd hour journey to Busan on the south coast. There was a glossy “in flight” magazine and also a screen with news, adverts and, now and again, the speed, which was the only thing that was not in Korean. Now I know a bit about trains so I was somewhat surprised that this high speed train started off on jointed track, sharp bends 21

speed all the way, 300 kph and utter magic!

One thing you notice at the terminus is that they turn all the first class seats round so you are facing the way you are going. The other thing you notice is the frequency of the trains, there is one every 15 minutes each way! On the approaches you notice the number of suburban stations serving greater Seoul and the intensity of the traffic. Railways in Korea are very busy places.

Now a visit to the National War Museum is a must. The place is fantastic; its multiple exhibits are a delight and yet provide a moving remembrance to all the men who died in the latest Korean War. What does hit you, though, is that the Korean peninsula has had a history of war since time began. Sundry invasions by Chinese, Mongols and Japanese as well as internecine warfare have dogged the place throughout. All is very carefully and beautifully presented. An admiral invented the turtle deck ship which smashed an invading Japanese Armada. A large model of the ship is on display.

and going over manned level crossings. The crossings all had a little umbrella beside them to keep the sun off the little man in uniform who operated the booms but also had a light stick, just in case. There were so many things to see that kept me happy but after about one third of the journey and several stations later the train picked up speed. The approach to Busan was largely through tunnels, it must have cost a bomb to build this lot!

Busan, or what we saw of it, was much like any other modern Far East port, huge ships with containers being off loaded or loaded with astounding speed and efficiency. We were whisked away in a rather flash and expensive taxi, suckers like me should realise that the taxis next to the station are costly, el cheapos are just across the road! Lunch was all that it was made out to be, delicious, with a splendid sea view. We took a stroll along the promenade later to where a whole herd (well you think of a better collective noun) of jet skis were parked, just waiting for people to make out like James Bond. The return trip was different, this time a slightly different route was taken and it was high 22

The interesting thing about the latest war is that it is still on. The armistice signed in 1953 was not signed by the South Koreans; Syngman Rhee, the despotic and corrupt ruler of the country regarded it as a betrayal by the Americans. The Americans just wanted out of the situation, they were used to winning wars, not having an uneasy intermission; losing a war was still to come, in Vietnam.

On the other side of the river is a posh suburb called Walker Hill, I went to a very expensive restaurant there in a cloudburst. The place remembers General Walker, a rather inept American commander whose death in a jeep accident was a lucky happenstance; his successor was far more able. When the Koreans swept into Pyongyang on the back of General McArthur`s counterattack, they captured Kim il Sung`s presidential motor car, donated to him by the Russians. This was presented to the widow Walker as a token of appreciation of the general`s service to the nation. She took it home to America but it broke down in the mid west and lay abandoned until, many years later, it was retrieved and restored to its former glory and put on display in the museum.

I love books where you feel you're having a romance with the writer. Joseph O'Neill

From Northern Rhodesia to Zambia - Recollections of a DO/DC 1962-73 | By Mick Bond this subject, much of it related From Northern Rhodesia to Zambia from the diary he had written at is the second of a number of books the time, his submission to the that were published to coincide Commission of Inquiry as well with Zambia’s 50th Independence as the Annual Report for 1964.

Anniversary in 2014.

Anyone interested in the Lumpa Author, Mick Bond spent the years affair should read this.

1962 to 1973 as a District Officer Subsequent chapters in the book and a District Commissioner, relate the author’s experiences actively participating in the change when he was stationed in various from Northern Rhodesia to Zambia Copperbelt towns, Lusaka and and then as a civil servant in Mongu. The final chapter relates independent Zambia. to his visit to Zambia in 2012.

Initially stationed in rural This easy to read book gives Mporokoso, life as a colonial insight into the workings of Government, officer was fairly quiet and routine. But his both under the Colonial office and as a new transfer to Chinsali in July 1964 changed independent country with all the challenges all that, for this was when the disturbances that this brought. involving the Lumpa Church and their leader, Alice Lenshina, were at their height. Little From Northern Rhodesia to Zambia is has been written about this very dark period published by Gadsden Publishers and is in Zambia’s history, and From Northern available from bookshops around Lusaka.

Rhodesia to Zambia devotes two chapters to

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Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. Frank Lloyd Wright

Dirt At The Top

2015, declared by the UN at the Year of Soils, and rightly so. Given that soil sustains food production, both crops and livestock, sustains wood for energy, and filters water making it drinkable, it is safe to say it s one of our most important and essential natural resources.

“The nation that destroys its soil destroys itself.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

A bit more about soil to refresh what you learnt at school: Soil is made up of mineral particles (sand, clay and silt), organic matter, air and water Soil is alive, it breathes but it is also extremely fragile The most fragile part of soil is only a few centimeters thick, but this is the part that is eroded first.

It takes between 500 and 1000 years for 2.5 cm (1 inch) of topsoil to form.

Soil stores up to 10% of the world’s CO2 emissions. Thus keeping it healthy is an essential part of reducing climate change Now some facts about the start of the soil: Expert estimate that worldwide, we only have sixty years of topsoil left. Whilst it won’t affect many of us reading this today, think about your children and grandchildren – no mealies to be milled for mealie meal; no cabbages, tomatoes, chiwawa or impwa; no grass for cattle, sheep and goats to eat; no trees to sit under for shade or to make furniture. Charcoal for cooking food will not be needed as there won’t be anything to cook. Soil erosion has already reduced Africa’s grain harvest by eight percent and this is projected to double by 2020 if soil erosion is not reduced.

Africa has been, and continues to be, the continent most impacted by land degradation with 65% f arable land, 30% of grazing land and 20% of forests already damaged. Just under 30% of the land in the Congo and Zambezi River basins has been degraded.

What factors influence soil degradation?

The traditional slash and burn (chitemene) results in nutrient depletion, with 30 kg 24

per hectare of nutrients being lost. This combined with soil erosion means that more that 80% of Africa’s soils are in a state that impedes crop production. Chitemene was, in the past, sustainable, but this is not longer the case due to population pressure.

The rate of deforestation is another factor.

In ten years, sub-Saharan Africa has lost nine percent of its forest cover. In Zambia, the figure quoted most often is around 0.50 percent to 0.60 percent per annum, although this varies between the provinces – Luapula (2.47%) and Eastern (0.85%) provinces being the highest, with Southern and Western being the lowest. It is well known that the main driver of deforestation

in Zambia is charcoal burning, followed by expansion of agricultural land. Mining too plays its part. Without the roots of the trees to anchor the soil and the canopy to protect the soil from sun exposure and drying out, we can look forward to flooding and decreased crop production capacity in the future. It is predicted that by 2030, thirty percent of forests will disappear.

The final factor in the degradation of the soil is overgrazing. Overgrazing of cattle leaves the soil bare as well as compacted, thus reducing water infiltration into the ground, affecting underground water

levels. It is estimated that overgrazing is responsible for about 50% of the soil degradation in Africa.

Worldwide, there are 805 million people facing hunger and malnutrition. The world’s population is expected to reach 9 billion by 2050, which means a 60% increase in the demand for food. With 30% of the world’s soil already degraded, with no indication that the degradation is going to stop soon, we are indeed heading for trouble.

Here in Zambia, we are not immune. Travel just a few kilometres out of town and you will be confronted by eroded soils. At this time of the year, look at the small plots of maize that are planted each year. In many cases, the rows run down the slope. With each heavy downpour of rain, we have rivers of soil gushing down between the lines of maize. I was taught about this when I was in Grade 5. In other words, it was a basic concept in the prevention of soil erosion.

Yet protecting or starting to recover the soil is not difficult. Keep good ground cover, apply mulch, dig in compost, reduce the application of harmful chemicals, apply animal manure, rotate crops. None of these need be expensive – mulch is generated by nature, compost can be generated from household waste.

“If we pollute the air, water and soil that keep us alive and well, and destroy the biodiversity that allows natural systems to function, no amount of money will save us.” ~ David Suzuki

So why then is this not happening?

Ignorance will be at the root of this, as will ‘ownership’ of the land. Until our farmers see themselves as the owners and therefore custodians of the land they occupy rather than seeing it as belonging to the community of the Chief, they will have no incentive to take good care of it.

Ignorance of best agricultural practice plays a vital part in keeping the soil healthy.

This, we believe, is the responsibility of Government, be it through the primary and secondary school system or through agricultural extension workers. The state of conservation and preservation of all of Zambia’s natural resources – our trees, our lakes and rivers, and, in this case, our soil – is virtually non-existent. It looks very much like Government has abdicated from any responsibility in this regard.

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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings

Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog So what is dog training, really and should you bother with it? Well the truth is that, whether you are aware of it or not, you already train your dog in one way or another and, unfortunately, you may even be responsible for training some of the habits your dog has that you consider ‘bad’. Did you always greet your puppy with pats and cuddles and an excitable squeal when you got home? Do you now have a dog that jumps up when he sees you (and visitors) and gets under your feet when you are struggling to bring the weekly shop into the house? You taught him to do that. Does he sit by the food cupboard every morning before his breakfast? You taught him that too.

Dogs are absolute masters at reading our body language (witness their actions when you get home in a bad mood!) and, through trial and error, soon get to know what they can do to get something from you. This makes them excellent recipients of operative conditioning - they will do whatever they can to elicit something good for themselves.

Indeed, the latest thinking is that dogs don’t really do anything to please YOU, they do what results in a good outcome for themselves. We like it when people are pleased to see us, so when Puppy spun

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in circles and jumped up when you come home, he got the attention he craved. When he sits by the food cupboard, you open the door and get his food. He thinks it is because he was sitting there (and this is undoubtedly true at times), so he does it again and again as it is extremely rewarding for him. If he is only fed once a day, he will soon get the idea that there is no point wasting time there after meal-time, but, if each time he sits there, you open the cupboard and get him a biscuit, it will quickly become his place of choice. Sometimes it’s difficult to determine who trains whom!

Years ago there was really only one way to train a dog and that was with aversion – you punished, in one way or another, your dog for doing the WRONG thing. If he was in the incorrect position, you pushed, pulled and made life uncomfortable for him until he moved to where you wanted him and then the pressure was removed. There are many reasons why this was unsatisfactory: It caused many a sensitive dog much anguish; many so called aggressive dogs to bottle up their issues until they either exploded or broke down and it allowed a great many ‘dog trainers’ free rein to bully, intimidate

and oppress the dogs into submission.

However, the obvious flaw in the technique was that it only told dogs when they were wrong. Imagine that you were told to go from Kabulonga to Makeni Mall and had to get there by a certain route, but no one told you what that route is. You set off in your car and turn left. Wrong way! So someone prods you hard in the back and keeps doing so until you eventually turn around and try another road. This keeps happening until, perhaps, you get to Makeni. Oh and by the way, if you show any resentment or resistance, talk back, shout or show annoyance in any way, you get slapped hard until you shut up. How effective was that in teaching you the route? How would you feel? Would you want to learn how to get to Roma the next day?

Today’s methods are all reward-based and the results are astonishing. The top competitive dogs from years ago would not even qualify these days. It works much like the Hot and Cold game you played as a child.

Now the good thing for the likes of you and I is that not only do our dogs love to work (remember they do things to get good things for themselves, so they really put themselves out), but because they do, results come thick and fast. It’s also more convenient for us as training sessions can last for as little as 15 seconds (though you do have to do quite a few of them!) so specific periods of time don’t have to be set aside. A couple of sits while you wait for the kettle to boil, a down stay while the YouTube video loads, and if you want a much longer session, teach the retrieve during the DSTV adverts!

At the Kennel Club, we have dogs that walk very nicely by our sides (NO pulling!), spin, give paw, stay in one place, walk backwards, lie down, walk (or run) along a see-saw, go through hoops (literally), and much more, but our proudest achievement is Jack. Jack came to us a year ago with very serious issues. He was found starving, cut and bruised. We could only guess at his history, but the scars told us quite a lot. It looked like he had been used for fighting, but the fact that he was dumped, for him, was the best

thing – he was evidently no good at it! He turned himself in to a loving home and was soon, physically at least, a healthy and happy dog. Unfortunately, he wasn’t too happy in the company of other dogs, but with positive reward training, we are now able to have him in the arena training alongside the others. Although we are not primarily a dog behaviour centre, the two do go hand in hand to some extent, but the power of positive training shows through.

Jack also jumps through hoops! Yes, it requires time and commitment and Jack is fortunate enough to have owners who are prepared for both, in spades, but the benefits for the humans are just as great as those for the dog. It really is a great hobby. So rewarding!

We are currently running monthly courses, with an intake the first Sunday of each month, but you can get ahead of the game by bringing your dog at any time in order to learn the basics and to get him used to the surroundings in readiness for the course. Call 0962 001-686, Email lusakakennelclub@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.

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I learnt to love reading. And then I started scribbling stories, & I liked that even more. James Patterson

A Roof Without…

Joseph Sitali’s novel is most suitable for young adolescents who love to read.

Woman of My Uncle records an aspect of Zambian culture that we often take for granted; the family obligation to take in relatives of your own or your in-laws whenever they arrive, regardless of whether you have been given notice and often for an indefinite period of time. Of course, this is a potential source of conflict, no less in Zambian society than in any other that follows this practice, and Sitali ably explores the extra contradictions that arise with Westernisation and the problem of corruption. Because the novel was originally published in 1986, and drafted between 1975 and 1978, the backdrop includes historical insights on the period commonly referred to as the liberation struggle for our neighbouring countries His thriller weaves through the experiences of Muyunda, the rural high-school leaver that comes to look for employment in Lusaka. It is well-paced and full of the twists and turns that are so much a part of Zambian society.

We were very glad to meet the writer in person, but even happier to be able to recommend a book that is clearly able to stimulate reading in a vast majority of the Zambian audience. Joseph Sitali is a success story for any budding author; he discovered his love for writing at school in the seventies and has gone on to make available a book you can read, and enjoy.

We have had enough as an office of complaining about the Zambian reading culture and are painfully aware that, to quote the well known advert, A Roof Without ... Zambian books by Zambian authors is a recipe for ignorance and historical memory loss.

International Mother Language Day falls this February 21. What better way to celebrate this day than to read a new book in a language you are most comfortable with.

For many Zambian children, those who have had the opportunity to learn to read, this language will be English learnt at school

as a second language. These readers will need many entertaining books written in English about Zambian situations to develop a thorough grounding of the language and indeed widen their understanding of their immediate surroundings.

The status of English as an official language means that our novelists and other writers are able to reach an international audience when they opt for English. Our newspapers are in English. Where we have made progress with retaining Zambian languages is through radio programmes in local languages, the widespread translation into Zambian languages of The Bible, and recently with the policy change that allows a child to study, up to third grade only, in the dominant language of the area of the school. The danger is the oral tradition, as in the cases above, escapes scientific critique.

For me it is the choice of the writer, novelist or poet to choose their language; much as visual artists choose to paint in oils, coffee water or pastels to express themselves best. Literature in English is still part of the Zambian school curriculum and Joseph Sitali charms the reader with the style of writing that we knew as ‘African Writers’.

Let’s narrow this down to Zambia and the change in a generation would be to ‘Zambian Writers’. Perhaps institutions like the Examinations Council of Zambia need to look at their syllabi and consider more carefully all these Zambian books. Certain schools maintain the same set books that we read forty years ago for English Literature!

The other title available from the same author is The Russian Vodka Syndrome which in available on Amazon. Woman of My Uncle can be purchased from Planet Books and Mary’s Bookshop as well as select stores such as Shaffique Supermarket in Chainama. Sitali is currently reworking The Russian Vodka Syndrome into a film script; the techniques for which he taught himself. If you want to know more, you can contact the Joseph Sitali on 0977 319-560.

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To find a man's true character, play golf with him. P. G. Wodehouse

Teeing It Up Above 55: The Senior Golfers Society of Zambia Our frequent readers will recall that in the December 2013 edition of The Lowdown, we featured a comprehensive expose of the game of golf. If there is one game in the world that requires high levels of concentration, cool nerves and the perfect swing to drive the ball, it is golf. As one grows older, one’s strength begins to wane and the nerves become tardy and lethargic.

To address that problem and enable older golfers to continue enjoying their game as usual, and avoid breaking their ribs in challenging the younger players, the Senior Golfers Society of Zambia was formed in 1962. In this issue, we chronicle the society’s objectives, social responsibilities and growth over the years.

In South Africa, the Senior Golfers Society of the Transvaal was formed in 1935, and shortly thereafter, the Cape Province formed its own chapter and was quickly followed, further north, by Southern Rhodesia, today’s Zimbabwe.

Golfers in Northern Rhodesia, the future Zambia, could not resist the growing tempest from the south and, in 1962, the Senior Golfers Society of Zambia was formed.

At a meeting held on 6 May that year, the members elected Mr J Thomson, CBE, as its first president. At the same meeting, Mr Neville Harvey was elected as Captain while Mr Richard Green was elected as Vice Captain.

The founding members were from various clubs in Zambia, and Kabwe Golf Club was chosen as the home club which, because of its centrality, was a convenient town countrywide from Livingstone in the south to Chingola on the Copperbelt. As a result of this gesture and agreement, all members of the society have been granted honorary membership of Kabwe Golf Club.

The constitution of the SGAZ is modelled on that of the UK and permits the Zambian society to having a maximum of 100 golfers whose age must be more than 55 years. As at the end of 2014, the membership was fully subscribed with a membership distribution of 60 to 40 per cent between the northern and southern regions, respectively. This is regardless of the fact that the percentage 30

of actual playing members in the northern region appears to be higher.

The office bearers are voted into office by progression through the ranks and between the northern and southern regions of the society, from Vice Captain through to Captain, and Vice President to President being the norm. The current Committee members for the 2014/2015 season are: Faustin Kabwe (President), Lusaka; Ian Robinson (Vice President), Copperbelt; Godfrey Kayukwa (Captain), Lusaka; George Mikalakis (Vice Captain), Copperbelt; Andreas Scott (Immediate Past President), Copperbelt; Ralph Bailey (Honorary Secretary), Lusaka.

The society, which holds its in-house competitions on the last Sunday of every month in both the northern and southern regions, still uses Kabwe Golf Club as the home base although this status has come under intense pressure, given consideration for some time now to the poor condition of our roads and the ever increasing volumes of traffic, rendering the long distances some members need to travel to attend meetings increasingly hazardous.

In view of this, the SGSZ constitution and rules have recently been modified, splitting the original one-day event of the Annual General Meeting and the Championship to a nine-hole social game followed by the AGM and lunch held yearly in April, with the championship being held separately later in the year. While this implies two journeys to facilitate an early start to the proceedings of the AGM, it enables the members to travel to and from the engagements in broad daylight.

Further, the society’s home club still has problems maintaining the course to a playable standard and whilst a number of

our members have made truly heroic efforts to help for many years, the few members and, consequently, the limited financial resources are insufficient for any hope of doing so and, without the acquisition of a major sponsor, the outlook for Kabwe’s future seems uncertain.

During the last few years, the society has experienced a gratifying upsurge in popularity. Primarily, the generous concession from the Lusaka Golf Club by reducing the green fees by 50% has been a major contributing factor. The sponsorship of social functions by the members has also generated a far more convivial atmosphere where everyone gets to meet and get to know each other better. Most new members are relatively young and play more frequently than most of the old guard, which, in turn, has attracted more interest in the society in general. In 2014, the society held what was called The 80s Tournament and lunch at which five members above the age of 80 were honoured.

The Lusaka Golf Club has been very supportive these past few years, allocating the early tee off times on the last Sunday of every month to the society on a permanent basis. This encourages those members who have not ‘pre-booked’ to turn up and invariably find a game. With such a relaxed atmosphere, the society often has guests and other non-Seniors asking to join in, especially the social get together at the proverbial 19th Hole, where every shot is a “head-up”! Through its cooperation, the Zambia Golf Union, the umbrella body that oversees golf in Zambia, has also helped the smooth operation of the society.

This support from the various stakeholders and friends of the society has, over the years, facilitated the SGSZ’s ability to undertake various projects under the social responsibility project. Through the 90’s to date, the society donated to various charities among them the Kasisi Orphanage and Cheshire Homes. In the golfing arena, the society has financially helped Chainama Hills Golf Club with their water pump and reticulation problems.

The main focus has, however, been the “home” club, Kabwe Golf Club which for

many years has received support aimed at addressing the water problems on the course. The society also helped in the refurbishment of the showers and the locker rooms. Repairs to the gang mowers, green cutters and other course equipment have also been carried out from time to time. More recently, the society bought a replacement green cutter for the club.

The Super Seniors – players over 70 years – were given their own tee markers between the ladies and junior pegs, a huge benefit to those who struggle to drive over the water holes, and, in some cases reach the fairways, and for those that are now hitting 6 irons where a few years ago a 9 iron would have sufficed. It helps to keep them in contention against the still younger long hitters.

Over the last few years, a number of changes have been made to the Constitution. For example, members of 70 years of age and of 10 years good standing are now Honorary Life members. Although some do not or cannot play on a regular basis, they still want to support and be part of the society.

Considering the fact that the association can only have a maximum of 100 members at any given time, this assists in releasing places for new members.

With the improved technology of E-mails and cell phones, communication between North and South Branches has improved tremendously over the last few years, making a previously time consuming enterprise a simple click away. Whilst the club would wish for more interaction between sections, travelling by road between towns has become increasingly difficult and dangerous, with congestion and the generally bad driving habits becoming the order of the day.

Ultimately, it’s into the 19th Hole where the worries and frustrations of the day are calmed and the problems of the world are solved with not-so-few doubles and tankards of the “stuff” to drown the worries of the day, especially the frustrations on the golf course which may include the balls getting lost or refusing to go the intended distance or direction, missing 9-inch putts and finding the ball more often in the rough as if one didn’t pay their green fees!

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2015 - 2024: International Decade for People of African Descent 2015: International Year of Light and Lightbased Technologies 2015: International Year of Soils Thursday 29 Jan - Wednesday 4 February: ‘Free Copper’ Jewellery Exhibition. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka. Admission: Free.

Monday 2 - Sunday 8 February: World Interfaith Harmony Week Monday 2 - Monday 9 February: Capoeira Fitness. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka.

Time: 5pm - 8pm. K35 per session / K230 a month. An art, a philosophy embodying strength, balance, power and grace. A martial Art masked in dance made popular in Brazil.

Wednesday 4 February: World Cancer Day Thursday 5 February - Wednesday 25 February: Art Exhibition; ‘Hidden Talent Revealed’. Venue: Ababa House. The Art Shop at Ababa House’s art class exhibit their paintings. INFO: info@theartshopltd.com to join the class.

Friday 6 February: International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation Friday 6 February: Friday Sundowners.

Venue: Zebra Crossings Cafe, Ababa House.

Time: Friday’s. Happy Hour; 6pm - 7pm.

Loyalty draws for their customers beginning this February give you a chance to win a Meal-for-Two up to K200 - SMS your contact details to enter to 0975 640-619.

Friday 13 February: World Radio Day Saturday 14 February: Valentines Dinner.

Venue: Lilayi Lodge. A romantic supper including a sparkling welcome drink.

Cost: K300 per person. Overnight package costing K1,950 includes Valentines Dinner for 2, luxury accommodation and breakfast with a complimentary bottle of sparkling wine in your room.

Saturday 14 February: ‘Sushi Night’.

Venue: Zebra Crossing Cafe. Eat as much Sushi as you can with a complimentary bottle of bubbly, coffee or tea and a red velvet cupcake. Booking essential. INFO: marizahuman@live.com Friday 20 February: World Day of Social Justice Saturday 21 February: International Mother Language Day Saturday 21 February: The Lusaka Book Club is reading ‘The Devil That Danced on the Water: A daughter’s quest’ by Aminatta Forna. Next month is ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ by Azar Nafisi. INFO: 0979 454-765.

Saturday 21 February: LAWS (Lusaka Animal Welfare Society) AGM. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant, Chaholi Road. Time: 10.30am.

Do you want to help Lusaka’s homeless animals? Join the LAWS Committee. We are desperately looking for fresh ideas and new members. Lunch available for K80 after the meeting.

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Saturday 21 February: Havana - Cuban Salsa Dancing Workshops. Latin America meets Zambia! Venue: Rhapsody’s, Arcades.

Time: Beginners (K100); 9am - 11.30am.

Intermediate (K100); 11.30am - 1.30pm. Latin Inspired Dinner and Salsa Party (K200); 7pm.

Price (Full Package): K350. Salsa dancing, music, fine food and partying. A unique opportunity in Lusaka to learn Cuban salsa with one of the most renowned teachers in South Africa - Monica Muñoz. Practice your skills or just have a great time at the dinner party. Savoury delicious dishes inspired by Latin American cuisine. INFO: 0965 017-015, cubansalsalusaka@gmail.com

Saturday 14 March: St Patrick’s Week - St Patrick’s Ball. Venue: Intercontinental Hotel.

Tickets: K400 (K375 members). Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, 0966 452-202, 0976 862-325,

Thursday 26 February - Wednesday 25 March: Art Exhibition; by David Makala, Owen Shikabeta and Mulenga Mulenga. Venue: Ababa House. Join the Zambia’s stellar visual artists in this mixed media panorama. INFO: ababahousezam@gmail.com

Friday 29 - Saturday 30 May: Lilayi Lodge.

Wine Weekend hosted by the acclaimed Catherine Marshall of Elgin Winery.

Sunday 01 March: Zero Discrimination Day Monday 2 - Tuesday 3 March: Senses at Sensorium hosts Dr Clark for Botox and Restylane fillers. USD payment only.

Bookings: 0211 257-330, 0977 798-282 or 0969 740-440 Tuesday 03 March: World Wildlife Day Saturday 7 March: St Patrick’s Week Evening Dinner Dance. Venue: Lilayi Lodge.

Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Sunday 8 March: Public Holiday. Women’s Day & International Women’s Day Sunday 8 March: St Patrick’s Week - Gaelic Football Day. Venue: Lazy J. Entry: Free.

Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, 0966 452-202, 0976 862-325, Tuesday 10 March: St Patrick’s Week - The Gig. Venue: O’Hagan’s, Woodlands. Entry: Free. Band: The Bonny Men. Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, 0966 452-202, 0976 862-325, Thursday 12 March: Public Holiday. Youth Day 34

Sunday 15 March: St Patrick’s Week - Family Ceili. Venue: Southern Sun. Entry: Free.

Hosted by The Wild Geese Society. INFO: 0953 558-898, Kearns_andrew@yahoo.ie | 0966 452-202, oda.friend@gmail.com | 0976 862-325, mercer.rosie@gmail.com Friday 20 March: International Day of Happiness

‘Craft Markets & Markets’ Dutch Reformed Craft Market. Venue: Dutch Reformed Church, Kabulonga. Time: Last Saturday of the month.

Foxdale Court Farmer’s Market: Venue: Foxdale Court, 609 Zambezi Rd, Roma.

Time: Sundays; 7am - 5pm. Locally grown fruit, vegetables, cut flowers, plants, fresh and dried vegetables. Support your small scale farmers. INFO: 0973 315-185, 0211 295-793, info@foxdalecourt.com, www.foxdalecourt.com St Columba’s Craft Market. Venue: St Columba’s Presbyterian Church, Nangwenya Rd. Time: First Saturday of the month. Come buy and sell, all welcome. Proceeds to church projects and community.

Konzani Gardens Market Day. Venue: Plot 7053/M Lusaka West. Buy and Sell vegetables, chickens, eggs, clothes, toys, books, paintings. Time: Last Saturday of every month, 9am on. Stands: K20. INFO: 0976 549-777, konzanigardens@gmail.com ‘Business Associations & Community’ The Association of 41 Clubs of Zambia.

Meetings: First Wednesday of the month, (except Chingola - first Friday). Lusaka: No 1 Kunzubo Guest Lodge, Zambezi Rd, Roma, 6pm; Kitwe: No 2, The Ravens Country Club, 6pm; Ndola: No 3, Table Hall, Ndola, 7pm; Chingola: No 4, Golf Club, 6.30pm. All extablers welcome INFO: 0955 791-414.

Chishawasha Children’s Home has a regular stall at the Dutch Reform Church Craft Market. Available are hand-made crafts and quality second-hand books. Don’t miss this opportunity to support Zambian orphans.

INFO: 0211 214557, philplusm@gmail.com Diplomatic Spouses Association (DSA).

Meetings: Last Tuesday of the month.

Members and spouses from diplomatic / international missions, honorary consulates & expatriate community accredited to Zambia are all welcome. INFO: soraya.king@hotmail.com HI Alumni. Lusaka Chapter. Time: Monthly third Saturday, 8am - 9am. Venue: Ndeke Hotel, Longacres. INFO: 0977 774-168, 0977 792-424 InterNations: Expatriates, expand your social and business network, join the largest fastest growing online community, mingle with other expats at our monthly events. Activities include lunch groups, dinner groups, Sunday afternoon coffee groups, photo walk groups etc. INFO: emmswood@gmail.com or sarahe@tinytimandfriends.org

International Women’s Club. Meetings: First Wednesday of the month. Venue: Poolside, Southern Sun Ridgeway. New members welcome.

Lusaka District Business Association.

Meetings: Last Wednesday of the month.

Venue: ZCSMBA offices, Showgrounds.

Time: 2pm. A member of the Zambia Chamber of Small and Medium Business Associations (ZCWMBA). Come and enhance your business integrity. An ideal forum for sharing business knowledge, ideas, skills etc.

Rotary Club Meetings. Mondays: RC of Nkwazi; Barclays Bank Sports Club; 6pm.

Tuesdays: RC of Lusaka; Holiday Inn; 12.30pm. Wednesdays: RC of Maluba; Radisson Blu; 12.30pm. Thursdays: RC of Lusaka Central; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30pm.

Fridays: RC of Pamodzi; Taj Pamodzi Hotel; 12.30pm. Saturdays: RC of Kusinta; The Courtyard Hotel; 9am.

Stuttering Association of Zambia. Meetings: Monthly, Second Saturday. Time: 2.30pm.

Persons who stutter or stammer, spouses of people who stutter, parents of children who stutter, speech therapists and anyone 35

with an interest are welcome to join.

INFO: 0977 863-363, 0977 841-576, stutteringz@gmail.com Zambezi Toastmasters. Would you like to improve your public speaking? Venue: Lusaka Hotel. Time: Twice Monthly (Second and fourth Thursdays, 6.15pm - 8pm).

Toastmasters in an international organisation that builds communication and leadership skills. INFO: 0978 390-464, 0979 454-765, or like ‘Zambezi Toastmasters’ on Facebook.

Zambian Women’s Institute: Meetings: Every Wednesday morning. Venue: Longacres (next to the Red Cross Building). INFO: 0977 419005, 0977 760-375, reginafinni@gmail.com ‘Faith-Based’ American Orthodox Catholic Church: Desire to celebrate the old Catholic Divine Liturgy (not Vatican). INFO: 0977 707-367.

Bahá’í Devotional Gathering: Venue: Bahá’í Centre, Alick Nkhata Rd, beside Mass Media Complex. Time: Sunday 10.30am - 12pm. All are welcome. Children’s classes and Junior Youth Groups. INFO: 0975 179-967.

Baptist Mission of Zambia: Venue: Baptist Guesthouse, Corner of Nangwena Rd, Margrat Tembo. Bible Study. Time: Sunday 4.30pm. Times are tough, Life doesn’t seem to be getting easier, troubles everywhere you look - But there is hope. Classes for all ages.

Come join us as we study God’s Word - the only hope for our daily lives! INFO: 0211 292-143 Eternal Life Fellowship: Venue: Old Black Velvet Building, The Groove. Time: Sunday 9am. INFO: 0211 294-430 or 0977 853-298.

Gospel Outreach Fellowship: Venue: GO Centre, Nangwenya Rd. Time: Sunday 8.30am or 11.30am. INFO: 0211 255-234, 0955 451-271 www.go.org.zm Greek Orthodox Mass: Venue: Hellenic Association Club, Kafue Rd. Time: Sunday 10am - 12pm.

Ladies Interdenominational Bible Study Group: Venue: St. Columba’s Church, Nangwenya Rd. Time: Wednesday 10am.

INFO: 0977 799-623.

Lusaka Family Church: Venue: Mulungushi Conference Hall, Mulungushi Village. Time: 36

Sunday 9am - 11am. Children’s Church: 6 -12 yrs, Toddlers Zone: up to 5 yrs. Youth Life: Sunday 11am - 1pm, Life Groups: Thursday 7pm. INFO: Arnold 0211 293367, 0978 090-982, Gisela 0976 722-892, www.lusakafamilychurch.org Miracle Life Family Church: Venue: Miracle Life Family Church, Zambezi Rd, Roma.

Time: Sunday 8am or 10.30am. Dynamic children’s program for ages 3 - 12. INFO: 0211 292-286, www.mlfc.org Ngombe Family Church: Venue: Flying Angels Academy, Zambezi Rd. Sunday 5.30pm - 7pm. Wednesday evening Pastors Bible Study 6pm - 7pm. INFO: 0978 090982, 0977 607-087, 0978 959-571 Quakers who would like to contact other Quakers in Lusaka call 0966 761-754.

Redeemed Christian Church of God: Sunday Service: Venue: Chrismar Hotel Sable Conference Room, Longacres. Time: Sunday 8am - 10.30am. Bible Study. Time: Wednesday 5.30pm - 6.45pm. INFO: 0977 866-066 Rehoboth Assembly: (Redeemed Christian Church of God). Venue: Plot 7449 Cnr Katopola & Twikatane Rd, Rhodespark. Time: Sundays, 9am - 11.30am, Thursdays, 5.30pm - 7pm. INFO: 0955/ 0966/ 0977 710-440, rehobothassembly@gmail.com South City Church: Venue: Baobab College Hall, Sunday 9.30am | Zebra Crossings Cafe, Sunday 4.30pm. INFO: 0978 289-998, info@southcitychurch.net, www.southcitychurch.net Zambia Messianic Fellowship: Venue: 34285 Shantubu Rd, Rock-field, Lusaka. Sabbath meeting. Time: Saturday 10.30am - 12.30pm.

INFO: 0977 858-061 zmf@microlink.zm www.zambiamessianicfellowship.info ‘Four-Footed, Feathered and Environment’ Dog Training. Venue: Showgrounds, Lusaka & District Kennel Club. Sundays.

Learn to teach your dog good manners, general obedience and some seriously impressive tricks! Bring along your dog with his lead, collar and valid rabies certificate (and some patience) and join us for some fun dog training! INFO: 0962 001-686 lusakakennelclub@gmail.com

Elephant Orphanage Project (Game Rangers International). Elephant viewing times: daily 11.30am - 1.30pm, all year. Venue: Lilayi Elephant Nursery, Lilayi Rd, 6km off Kafue Rd. Watch the elephants feeding and bathing from the viewing platform. No fee, donations gratefully accepted. INFO: 0975 615-149, sarah@gamerangersinternational.org Lusaka Animal Welfare Society (LAWS).

Donate K100 to become a member of the only organization in Lusaka that takes care of abandoned or neglected domestic animals.

You also get a LAWS key ring and 20% off all LAWS functions. INFO: 0966 005-297 (0966 00LAWS) Wildlife & Environment Conservation Society of Zambia (WECSZ) Lusaka Branch. Meets once a month for ecological talks and lectures led by experienced conservationists.

Last Thursday of every month. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant, 26 Chaholi Rd, Rhodes Park. Time: 6pm to 8pm. Free for WECSZ members while others may attend paying a token K20. Membership forms, publications are available at the meeting.

INFO: Patrick or Maldrine at the Wildlife Association Office, Longacres. 0211 264-432, money@coppernet.zm Zambian Ornithological Society meets once a month for a bird walk in the countryside.

ZOS members, their families and friends head to the woods and wetlands around Lusaka and beyond. Walks are led by experienced birdwatchers who guide both newcomers and long-term birders through a morning of observation and exploration. INFO: 0977 485-446, www.wattledcrane.com ‘Health and Sporting’ 12 Step: Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).

Time: Saturday, 4pm to 5.30pm - 17:30 Cathedral of the Holy Cross (Upper Room, East Wing), Ridgeway. A program for men and women, who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. We meet to share our experience and recovery in an atmosphere of mutual respect. INFO: 0967 980-229, aca.lusaka@gmail.com (Int website, www.adultchildren.org) 12 Step: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Lusaka.

Time: Monday, 5.30pm - SHARPZ, 220C Mutandwa Rd, Roma. | Tuesday, 12:30pm – 37

Kalemba Hall. | Friday, 5.30pm - Cathedral of the Holy Cross (Upper Room, East Wing), Ridgeway. INFO: 0973154222, 0954210446 12 Step: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Livingstone. INFO: 0962 804-137 12 Step: Al-Anon. Time: Wednesday, 5.30pm to 6.30pm - SHARPZ, 220C, Mutandwa Rd, Roma. A group for relatives and friends of alcoholics where they can come together to share their experiences, strength and hope. INFO: 0977 697-628, 0966 621806, lusakaafg@gmail.com (Int website, www.alanon.org.za) 12 Step: Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) Women’s Support Group. Time: Thursday 5.45pm to 7pm - SHARPZ, 220c Mutandwa Rd, Roma. A fellowship that helps women learn to look after ourselves, share experiences, strength and hope. INFO: 0962 213-708, coda.lusaka@gmail.com (Int website, www.coda.org) Aerobics by a Personal Trainer: Venue: Kaingo Leisure, Barclays Sports Complex, Club Rd (Showgrounds). Time: Tuesdays, Thursdays 6pm - 7pm. K25 / session. INFO: 0977 174-140.

Aikido Classes: Beginners welcome.

Venue: Central Sports Club, Longacres.

Time: Monday, Wednesday 5pm – 6.30pm.

Price: K20 / month INFO: 0972 260549, chisangakaluba@yahoo.com (1 Dan ITAF China).

Ashtanga and Pre-Natal Yoga classes. In the comfort of your home. Individual classes: K300 per class. Group sessions: K100 per person, per session. Contact: 0978 507-986, 0966 507-986.

Beginner Belly Dancing. Venue: Shakespeare Court, Leopards Hill Rd. Time: Wednesdays 6.30pm - 7.30pm. Saturdays 10am - 11am.

Cost: K50 - Small classes designed to give all women the opportunity to learn.

No previous dance experience required.

INFO: www.shimmyglisten.com or elisabeth@shimmyglisten.com Beginners Polocrosse. Venue: Leopards Hill Polocrosse Club. Time: Tuesdays. Introducing riders of any skill level to Polocrosse. Age 12+. INFO: 0978 777-728.

38

Bump, Birth & Beyond Special Events.

Time: Fridays. Venue: 4145 Nkanchibaya Rd, Rhodes Park. INFO: 0974 148-856, bbbzambia@gmail.com Chilanga Hackers Golf Society welcomes golfers of all abilities to join in the fun of convivial golf and interesting social activities in a pleasant atmosphere with emphasis on friendship and enjoyment. INFO: 0211 290-818 (evenings), 0977 790-900, seawing@coppernet.zm Children’s Playgroups and educational activities. Baby groups, toddler and pre-school. From 0 - 7 yrs. INFO: kidsclub.lusaka@gmail.com Counsellor / Therapist: For handling Depression, Stress and Anxiety, Drug or Alcohol abuse, quit smoking, etc - using Hypnotherapy and NLP. INFO: 0955 999727, priyabala@microlink.zm Cricket. Venue: Lusaka South Country Club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. Country & Districts cricket. Home and away matches, Kids coaching, tours and T20 tournaments. Time: Practice Wednesdays, Fridays 5pm. Kids coaching, Saturdays. INFO: 0977 860-797, 0966 437-808, 0966 751-643.

Daily Children’s Playgroup. Venue: Bump Birth & Beyond, 4145 Nkanchibaya Rd, Rhodes Park. Daily Educational activities and children’s playgroups, music classes, arts & crafts, ballet and more! Ages: 0 to 6. INFO: 0974 148-856, bbbzambia@gmail.com, kidsclub.lusaka@gmail.com Dynamic Diabetes Support Group. Time: 2pm - 4pm, Fourth Saturday Monthly.

Venue: Umoyo Centre, Great East Rd. A safe place where those who are Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetic can meet and share their experiences and learn about new medical research, as well as alternative therapies.

Different endocrinologists and specialists will be brought in as speakers. Diet, recipes, exercise, stress, symptoms and treatments will be discussed. INFO: 0978 028-146 Inside Story. Ante-Natal Classes, Postnatal care and baby massage classes.

INFO: 0977 446-054 / 0211 274-985, margotbham@gmail.com

Karate & Weapons Training. Venue: Lusaka Showgrounds. Luke 5th Dan. 0977 314-511 / 0978 710-102, lukphiri@yahoo.com Lusaka Dolphins at Lusaka Amateur Swimming Club. Venue: Olympic Pool.

Group training for competitive swimmers; ‘learn to swim’ for non swimmers; or ‘swim at my own pace’. INFO: 0966 761-547 Lusaka Hash House Harriers. Time: Saturdays, 3pm. Meet new friends and join us for a run or walk in the bush. INFO: lusakahash@zambia.co.zm, G2S 0971 946937, CM 0977 159-935, Thickette: 0978 532744, or visit our facebook page.

Martial Arts. Karate Classes. Weapon classes for brown and black belts. Monthly self defence classes. INFO: Raymond (7th Dan) 0977 783-537, shihanray@hotmail.com Mazabuka Tennis Club. Ladies tennis every Tuesday morning at 07:45. Mixed tennis every Saturday afternoon at 16:00.

Meditation. Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Meditation Centre. Opposite Northmead shops. Monday - Saturday 5.30pm and Sundays 2pm. Free introductory courses. INFO: 0211 250-685 / 254-518 bkrymc@zamnet.zm.

Motorbike Lessons Best of Bikes Academy.

Venue: Central Park, Cairo Rd. Time: Sundays 9am. Learn to ride a motorbike safely in a controlled space, with experienced instructors. INFO: 0211 236-912/3, 0964 584-778, 0973 584-778 Mountain Biking Club Leopards Hill.

Open to adults for Saturday morning fun mountain bike in the bush. INFO: mtblusaka@gmail.com

Optimyze Kare Health. Time: Last Thursday of the month; 5pm. Advice on all aspects of health (fitness, diseases, nutrition, mental health, beauty, lifestyle and wellness, and different alternative and complementary therapies) addresses by professional speakers.

The purpose is to teach you to be ‘whole’ naturally. INFO: 0955 / 0966 847-777, optimyse@gmail.com Polo X. Venue: Lusaka South Country club, Mukwa Rd, Lilayi. All skill levels welcome.

INFO: 0979 505-152.

Running Group. Time: Sunday 6.30am. Trail & road. Mixed running ability. Options to modify distance (between 10 - 17 km). INFO: 0977 801-463, c_ngoma@yahoo.com Salsa Dance Classes. Mondays and Fridays 6.30pm Intercontinental Hotel. Thursdays 6.30pm Melsim Lodge, Alick Nkhata Rd Cost: K30. INFO: 0979 400-538 Self-Defence (Short Courses): Practical, easy to learn for youths, women or security personnel. Children & adult Karate Classes also offered. The instructor is the All Japan Martial Arts Federation - Zambia President & Chief Representative. INFO: 0977 783-537, shihanray@hotmail.com Skydive Zambia (ZUSC): Special offer on Tandem dives, no prior training required.

INFO: antoinettedurand46@gmail.com, 0966 622-516, rowles.dave3@gmail.com, 0977 790-500, edmund@skytrailszambia.com Soccer For Kids: Little Eagles Soccer.

Time: Saturday / Sunday 9.30am. Ages 3 - 12: Barclays Sports Club. Ages 6 12: Bump, Birth and Beyond Zambia.

Outdoor soccer-based fun for kids. INFO: littleeagles@zambia.co.zm, 0976 135-788, 0950 265-989.

39

Social Bowls. Venue: Central Sports Club.

Bowling section. Time: Saturdays. 2pm. New bowlers welcome.

Yoga with Iyengar slant. Mats available.

Contact for location and times. INFO: 0966 728-911, towani@kuthuta.com

Social Cricket and Polocrosse. Time: Thursday. Venue: Leopards Hill Polocrosse Club. New members welcome. All experience levels welcome. Family, friendly environment. INFO: 0963 881-149

Zambian Cancer Society. Venue: Independence Avenue. Time: Last Friday of the month. 6pm - 7pm. Female cancer survivors support group. Support offered via telephone or email. 0955 226237, info@zambiancancersociety.org / zambiacancersociety@gmail.com

Swimming Teacher. All Ages. Venue: Swedish Embassy School. INFO: 0955/0977 328115 Tennis Section, Lusaka Club. Invites players of all ability levels to join in social tennis.

Venue: Lusaka Club. Time: Saturdays, 1pm - 6pm. Cost: K20 for court use, balls, coffee and snacks. Last Saturday of the month: Half Price Social Tennis; K10. You can be signed in for up to 3 sessions by members thereafter you have the option of joining the club. INFO: 0977 964-121, lusakatennis@yahoo.com Touch Rugby. Venue: Gymkhana Club, Showgrounds Time: Monday and Thursday 6pm. All welcome (Male & Female) INFO: 0965 126-200 Ultimate Frisbee. Venue: Lusaka Gymkhana Club; Wednesdays 5.30pm - 7.30pm | American International School; Sundays 9.30am - 11.30am. Everyone welcome.

INFO: 0973 370-973.

Umoyo Natural Health | Great East Rd near Munali Roundabout | Live Blood Analysis Test - daily - K250 | Zumba - Mondays to Fridays, 6pm - 7pm | Baobab Shots - Wednesday Mornings - K15 each | ‘Reclaim Your Health’ Talk - Thursdays, 10am - Free & free samples | Fit Club - Full Body Fitness - Mondays to Thursdays, 5pm to 6pm or 6.30pm to 7.30pm | Therapeutic Yoga - Mondays to Saturdays, 9am. INFO: 0966 800-600 Umoyo Natural Health | Woodlands Shopping Centre | Live Blood Analysis Test - daily - K250. ‘Reclaim Your Health’ Talk Thursdays, 4pm. INFO: 0967 800-313 Umoyo Natural Health | Weightloss Wednesdays! Visit one of our Shops for 5% off all Herbex Weight Loss Products every Wednesday! Locations: Arcades Shopping Centre, Foxdale Court, Woodlands Shopping Centre, Umoyo Health Clinic, Great East Rd, Munali Roundabout 40

Zambia Taekwon-Do Association. Venue: Municipal Sports Club. Time: Saturday, Sunday: 10am. Tuesday, Thursday: 5.30pm.

INFO: 0211 254-090.

ZOCA Dance: Looking for dance classes for yourself or your kids? ZOCA dance fitness is a fantastic and fun way to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle. You will groove to popular African and Caribbean beats to get in shape! 3 convenient locations.

ZocaMAX classes are great for toning and sculpting. Classes for Kids 3-12 years old too. INFO/Schedule: www.zocadance.com, 0967 795-816, zocadance@gmail.com Zumba Keep Fit: Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays. Venue: Alliance Française of Lusaka. Time: 5.30pm - 7.30pm. Entrance: K30 per session, K150 per month. INFO: 0976 100-727 or register at reception.

‘Leisure’ Alliance Francaise Cine Kids. French Movies, English subtitles for kids 3 - 10 years and parents. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka. Time: Saturdays, 9am.

Alliance Francaise Cine Night. French Movies, English subtitles. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka. Time: Monthly, Second Last Thursday, 7.30pm. Entrance: K10.

Alliance Francaise ‘Poete Spring’ Poetry Show. Venue: Alliance Francaise, Lusaka.

Time: Monthly, Last Friday, 7pm. Admission Free. An open mic multilingual show in which poets and lovers of literature can present and perform their own poems, as well as those written by others in a mature and appreciative atmosphere. With a monthly theme.

Art Classes. Venue: Zebra Crossing Café, Ababa House, Twikatane Rd. Time: Wednesdays, 9am - 12pm. All Mediums -

evenings. INFO: carlyn@dramaafrica.com or janet@dramaafrica.com International Wine & Food Society. The Lusaka Branch hold regular themed events in both Restaurants and Members’ homes.

Interested in hearing more? INFO: Ken 0977 829-467 or 0979 473-555.

Irish Wild Geese Society. We’d like to welcome anyone from Ireland who has arrived in Zambia. Fun monthly events and St Patrick’s ball in March, (proceeds to local charities). INFO: 0979 875-097 Lusaka Bridge Club. Venue: Main Lounge, Lusaka Golf Club. Time: Monday, 6.45pm, Duplicate bridge. Monthly & international tournaments held. INFO: 0211 264-432, money@coppernet.zm Lusaka Garden Club. Meetings: Second Saturday of the month. Members visit different gardens, Garden information and talks. Flower Shows in February for members only and during the Agricultural Show in August open to all. Subscription K60 per year. INFO: 0977 775-744, 0979 428-003.

Sketching, Painting in oil, acrylics, water colours and more. Beginners welcome! Art supplies available at The Art Shop. INFO: 0974 279-107, info@theartshopltd.com Camera Chat Group. Venue: Coffee Gallery, Nangwenya Rd. Meeting: Third Saturday, monthly, 9.30 am. Relaxed discussions for DSLR enthusiasts who want to improve their technical skills. INFO: rosegarden@hudzam.com Evening Art Class. Tutored by Richard Kirby.

Venue: Zebra Crossing Café, Ababa House, Twikatane Rd. Time: Thursday Nights. Cost: K50 per session. An extension of the regular Wednesday workday sessions to suit afterhour artists. Beginners are welcome. INFO: 0974 279-107 info@theartshopltd.com French Storytelling Workshop. Reading to children. Venue: Alliance Française. Time: Wednesday, 2.30pm - 3.30pm. Children aged 5 - 16.

Helen O’Grady Drama Classes: Afternoons & Saturdays. Kiddy programmes Tuesday, Thursday & Friday mornings. Public speaking courses, Tuesday & Thursday

Lusaka Road Bikers. Venue: La Mimosa, Arcades. Time: Sundays, 9am. Meet for a chat, coffee/breakfast and a ride to various venues. INFO: 0966 766-896 gintym@seedco.co.zm, 0955 801-954 murryfieldfarm@zamtel.zm, 0966 858-733 mcrop@zamnet.zm.

Serbian Buffet Lunch. Venue: Nena’s Restaurant. Time: Monthly First Sunday.

INFO: 0211 239-541.

Singing. Lusaka Music Society. Do you like singing, have you sung in a choir, or would you like to sing in a choir? The Lusaka Music Society meets once weekly for rehearsals and perform three concerts a year. Meet new people and learn new music. Musicians welcome. INFO: molly.care@gmail.com or 0977 780-883, annew@iconnect.zm Sunday Lunch. Venue: Gerritz Restaurant.

Time: 12pm to 4pm. German specialities, cold beer, modern German music, relaxed garden atmosphere. INFO: Siri 0211 253639 / 0977 856-040.

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March

You will soon be able to read The Lowdown online for free. Join our email list so we can let you know the latest edition is available. http://eepurl.com/bcr2f1

43

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Mother Teresa.

Small Ads; 01 - 20 words: K40 / 21 - 40 words: K80 / 41 - 60 words: K120 | Property Prowl: K400 Deadline: 10th of the month preceding publication

Carpenter available to do odd jobs around the house, make furniture and repair broken furniture. Can also do tiling and roofing.

Contact 0974 347-255 Centricia Lodge - Kasama | Are you travelling to Kasama and need excellent, affordable accommodation? Join us at Centricia Lodge, located in the residential area of Mukulumpe. We offer state-of-the-art accommodation with en suite bathrooms, DSTV, bar fridge, kettle, comfortable workstation for business travelers, a lush relaxing garden in which you can enjoy our tasty braaied signature T-bone. For reservations; 0976 702-063/ 0963 708-306 Compost & Manure: Quality guaranteed!

Compost: 25kg bag for K45. Manure: in 50kg bag for K25. More than 10 bags free delivery in Lusaka. Shaun 0976 030-311.

DIAL-A-CAB 24 HRS | 0955 773-937 / 0977 773-937 / 0966 222-222 Employment Offered: Therapist Specialised in Facial Therapy. Candidate must be qualified with certification. To arrange an interview, call 0211 257-330.

Employment Sought: Housekeeper / Cleaner / Shop Attendant. School leaver, under GCE. Please Call 0978 669-315 / 0953 119-118 / 0969 616-622.

Employment Sought: Housekeeper / Shop attendant / Cleaner. Aged 29. Schooling: 2011 Grade Nine, 2014 Grade Twelve, under GCE. Call 0955 595-693 / 0978 255-247.

Employment Sought: Live In Nanny. Mature Zambian Pre-School Teacher with First Aid training. Please Call 0971 136-585.

Employment Sought: Maid. Female. Trained with 12 years experience. Cooks Zambian food. Call 0979 647-216 or 0962 005-169.

Employment Sought: Supervisory / Administration Position. Asian Lady, resident, honest, sincere, hardworking, experienced.

Please Call 0955 756-314 44

Female, mature, visiting fiction-writer seeks opportunity to house-sit till March 31 in Lusaka. Email: suzambia@gmail.com For Sale: 5 acres of Prime Land in Lilayi.

Partly serviced. Contact: 0977 807-690.

For Sale: Lenovo Thinkpad T530. Running Windows 8.1 RTM Operating System.

Hardware: 15.6 inch Screen, Core i5 processor, 1TB Harddrive, 16GB RAM, Microsoft Office Professional 2013.

Complete with Lenovo recovery disks. $1,300 only. Contact Georgia 0975 263-232 Luangwa Valley Private House for Rent | Jake and Gillie’s Valley Retreat. Large family home (8 adults, 4-6 kids) five minutes from Park Gate in Mfuwe. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, large upstairs area, nursery, self contained cottage. Great Wildlife, Swimming pool, ZESCO, furnished, equipped and staffed. Activities, a-la-carte restaurant available by arrangement at nearby Flatdogs camp. Contact jakedamotta@gmail.com 0211 213-841 jake@buckskinmoon.com 0977 897-779 Need Landscaping, Digital landscaping design, manure, compost, maintenance of private offices and parks. Design-a-gardens.

Karin Monge 0977 716-954.

North Kafue National Park. Mayukuyuku Bush Camp offers full board, and camping. Excellent game viewing and fishing. Access for two-wheel drive vehicles, 4 hours from Lusaka on good roads. www.kafuecamps.com | info@kafuecamps.com Pet Travel - Import, Export and Microchipping. Pet Parlour - For all your grooming needs. Pet Boarding - In our country kennels.

Contact 0211 265-197 / 0968 883-284 / petvetzambia@gmail.com Showgrounds Vet Clinic - Dr. Lisa Oparaocha | For Veterinary / Grooming: 0977 770-940, showgroundsvet@gmail.com | For Pet Shop (Spoiled Pets): 0967 764-825, esuesta@yahoo.com