The Wretch Whom Slipped from the Mortar
The Knight dismounted his noble steed. With a firm pat to its proud mane, the Knight offered a murmured word of gratitude before turning his gaze upon the crumbling walls of the ancient castle. Once a bastion of strength, its stones now bore the weary scars of centuries, a testament to battles fought and legends faded. The castle, older than the Knight himself, held within its walls an archive of stories, its scarred bricks woven into a tapestry of history. His heart stirred with bittersweet memories of its former glory, now decayed and brittle with age.
As he ran his fingers over the mortar, a fragment of rock broke loose, tumbling into the rubble below. Dust rose, and the Knight sighed, his voice low with melancholy. Is it all dust in the end? He wandered on, his armoured hand patting the brickwork as though comforting an old friend. The once-steady walls trembled beneath his touch, and full stones shifted in protest. He pressed on, lost in his reverie until an unusual figure broke the solitude.
Perched on the wall, loomed a man—or what semblance of a man could
be seen in such a form. The creature was grotesque, hunched and twisted, his shape bizarrely rounded and his dome-like head sunken into shoulders as absent as shadows under the midday sun. Spindly limbs sprouted like withered reeds from the orb-like body, and a face stretched thin over its domed expanse. Bulbous, bloodshot eyes protruded grotesquely, while a flat, circular nose twitched like a frightened animal. Was this grotesque pumpkin man a jester who escaped from some darkened court, or a creature spawned from a fevered dream? The
Knight sneered but he curbed his disdain.
“Greetings, poor wretch,” the Knight said, placing a hand upon the figure. He felt fragile, as if they may shatter like a fired vase under the Knight’s gentle touch. The strange fellow merely rocked from side to side on the frail mortar wall, swaying as though the breeze mocked his pitiful frame.
The Knight turned to wander on, abandoning the wretch on the wall and continuing their melancholy tour of the mortar wall. The temperate heat of the sun was causing him to bake in his helmet. Out of code, he did not remove the helm but marched on, knowing the guard post was upcoming in his tour. A sharp scream tore through the air, freezing his steps.
He spun round and beheld a most unfortunate sight: the round man had fallen from the high wall! Stones, loosened by time, cascaded down in his wake, and there on the ground lay the grotesque fellow, a shattered heap of broken limbs and bruised flesh. That damned decaying mortar wall had collapsed
and brought down this wretch with it. The Knight boldly hurried to his aid and witnessed the devastating state of his fractured body. His stomach bore a grievous rent, his frame battered and burst beyond repair. The light of those enlarged eyes flickered from within. What a pathetic, dishonourable way to be delivered such wounds! But was he beyond medical aid?
Without hesitation, the noble Knight gathered up the poor, broken wretch, bearing him into the castle halls with haste. As consciousness faded, the Knight’s pace increased and he was soon joined by an entourage of guards, nobles, serfs and monastics. They group fled into the Great Hall, where the King awaited, his countenance grave. The monarch’s eyes widened at the sight of the ruinous form held by the Knight.
“Call forth the realm’s best healers!” cried the King, his voice a clarion ringing through the stone corridors, echoing for all to hear and obey. “All my men and all my steeds—fetch them, haste!”
The broken man was lifted onto a carriage drawn by the King’s swiftest horses, and, surrounded by a solemn retinue, the parade of would-be healers and loyal steeds bore the delicate burden to the royal infirmary. The Knight was forced to remain in the corridors whilst the great and good worked to restore the wretch.
As the blue light of day was replaced by the golden light of the setting sun, the Knight, heavy with the weight of grim expectation, quaffed ale as the hours drew on and hope grew faint. Servants passed by, good men and ladies of his Majesty’s staff, offering sentiments and gifts of goodwill for the wretch who remained in the presence of the King’s best healers.
At last, the King entered the hall, his visage dark, matching the fading light of day. “My valiant knight,” he began, his tone heavy with solemn regret. “News is unpleasant. Alas, all the King’s horses, and all the King’s men… not a soul among them could piece him back together again.”
Words: Holly Flynn
Goodbye
He is a wanderer, someone who glides through time as he impacts people’s lives. He is nearly always alone, the rhythmic stomping of his footsteps being the only sound he hears as he travels to meet his victims. A pitiful smile follows his words as he slowly leaves everyone he has ever met, sometimes never to be seen again. The ache of parting is something he is familiar with, and he understands heartbreak in a way no one else does.
He has the ability to transport people anywhere, back to a time where life was perhaps simpler. His one word starts a programme in people’s minds, like a personal TV show of much-loved memories. The smell of nostalgia he carries is one that cannot be avoided as he overpowers any room he enters, his smells ranging from suncream, the sea and fragrances. It is a joy to him that he can remind people of their memories, but the ending is always bittersweet. He does try to reassure; his touch being gentle yet cruel. A cruel realisation for those he meets that time is over, and he is a harsh reminder that a certain chapter needs to end.
This isn’t always the case. He tends to walk down the same street and into the same house more than once, but it doesn’t bother him. With each visit he notices a slow but steady acceptance in the faces he sees, often able to tell when his visit will for certain be the last. If he had to choose he would pick the travelling aspect over the writing. There have been too many times he has lingered in tear-stained letters, where words are laced with love and aching that seem to have no resolution. He knows the word he offers is never enough for who the letter greets, and he is unable to escape from the harrowing heartache.
As he walks into a new house, he can tell this will go well. There is no immediate grieving reaction towards him, as, for once, he is overtaken by a strong sense of calmness. As the ‘Goodbye’ leaves his lips, he gets ready to depart when he is met with a surprising smile.
It is small, barely visible, but it is there. She looks at him not with a tear-streaked face but rather a grateful one.
‘Goodbye’ is the last word he hears as he steps out of the home, with the starry night greeting him outside, and a genuine smile beams on his face that he wishes could stay there forever. He knows she is ready to accept whatever will come her way with open arms. His time, with her, is complete.
Exec Check
Editor-in-Chief Takeover
Hey guys, I am the Editor-in-Chief of The Magdalen and for this issue I will be taking over the Exec Check to let you know about our team and what we all do to keep The Magdalen moving. So, our Senior Team:
Editor-in-Chief: As the EiC, my job is to keep things rolling and handle the budget of The Mag. I work with the senior team to communicate to the writers and designers regarding deadlines and themes. I consider it my job to support everyone in the projects they want to pursue and get the best out of our stellar team.
Deputy Editor-in-Chief: Our Deputy this year is Arianna De Prosperis, who assists with all of the above. She’s the rock, the right hand of The Mag, and one of the key members associated with planning socials.
Creative Directors: Our Creative Directors are the reason The Mag looks as stunning as it does, they communicate and organise the designers to have each and every article looking beautiful, giving us our signature flair and style. The superbly talented Ayla Ahmed and Heidi Le are our CD’s this year, and they will also be in charge of reimagining The Mag for next year’s redesign.
Social Media Manager: If you see us looking cute on Instagram, or shaking it up on Tiktok, that’s because Elinor Whyte is our
Social Media Manager in charge of The Mag’s online presence. This role has become more essential than ever in recent years and Elinor is revolutionising the game so far this year.
Section Editors: Once an article is conceived, the pitch and drafts are sent to our Section Editors, Angus Coleman (Opinions), Eva Milne (Lifestyle), Mona Lin Eckle (Creative), and Culture (Tom Christison). They make suggestions on the direction of an article and encourage our writers to show their best work.
Copy Editors: The unsung heroes of The Mag who make sure that every comma, semi-colon, bracket, and apostrophe is in the right place. Our Copy Editors this year are Kaitlynn Man (Culture), Ayanna Cullen (Opinions), Olivia Runciman (Lifestyle), and Emma Thomson (Creative).
As you can see from our beautiful magazine, this magazine is a labour of love, one that would not be possible without the people listed above as well as our fantastic designers and writers. It’s an honour to do the work, and a pleasure to have you all enjoy it.
Balancing Time
Save me, Student!
"How do I balance my time between working, volunteering, and uni?"
Ah, a balancing act as old as time (by time I mean capitalism). From what I know of university, many people struggle with this so the first thing to understand is- you are not alone. It is most important to understand that a degree is not always the answer nor an obligation by any means, but for the purpose of this question let’s assume that the finish line is the degree and the cap and the whole graduating shebang.
First, if you can then find a job that respects your priorities. If your employer is asking you to work when they know you have lectures or to commit to more hours than you can comfortably balance then it is time to get the cv’s out and start looking elsewhere. The amount of hours depends upon you, but I would try and keep it under 15 hours a week if possible. The world is expensive, so I know that might not be possible, but try and get as much as you can for your time. Scheduling is going to be your friend, and organisation your sharpest tool. Try plan study and assessment time into your week and STICK TO IT! Getting more out of your time often comes
down to discipline (I certainly don’t have it, but we should all try to). Tell your employer ahead of time when your deadlines are and take time off to do them. Be transparent and be firm with asserting what you need. As for volunteering, I suggest fitting it in where you can and prioritising single day or low-commitment opportunities to allow you flexibility without feeling guilty for struggling with a regular schedule.
The first thing the university will tell you is that your studies are your top priority, and they are not wrong…completely. The thing is that the absolute primo, tip-top, superior priority is your own health and wellbeing. Any split that does not provide you time to adequately care for yourself is not going to work. Of course, taking care of yourself does not mean taking it easy, we rest hard so that we can work hard and- as tragic as I personally find this revelation- it is often this hard work that furthers us towards our goals. Just remember you also need to get there in one piece. Wishing you luck,student, go get ‘em.
Blank Space Collective
Hey there!
The Blank Space Collective is a Dundee based writing circle that meets bi-weekly to share our writing in an informal open mic setting.
It all started a year and a half ago with three friends and a bottle of prosecco in Magdalen Green, but now Blank Space has expanded to include a wonderful and warm group of keen writers. Unlike your conventional open-mic, there is no ‘mic’ or stage, rather a comfortable sharing circle and opportunity to give and receive feedback/ discuss the pieces (Only if you choose to have it!). It’s a great environment to try something experimental or start building recital confidence in a safe and supportive atmosphere.
Dundee has a rich tradition of storytelling, (need I mention the big dog Mary Shelley) and continues to build upon this with a varied and exciting chorus of new voices. Creating Blank Space was about bringing some of those voices together and building a network wherein we can help one another improve. This can happen in the most bizarre ways- we’ve had people show animation sequences, share songs, and concrete poetry that
functions as a piece of visual art as much as literary art. We want you to show us something you’re excited about, whatever the format, this blank space is a place for the wild and weird to grow. To that end- anything you have been working on, from prose and poetry to comedy skits and your shopping list, it’s all welcome. The Blank Space is for everyone.
The
Blank Space is for everyone.
That being said, there is no pressure to perform, but we trust that you will definitely gain something from the experience-even if it is just hearing a funny story, or deciding what your favourite type of spillage is (a most important question).
We aim to build community around creativity, so even if you just want to listen in, feel free to come along!
We post dates and events on Instagram @blank. space.collective.dundee
Hope to see you at our next meeting!
Philosophy Society Society Spotlight
Join Our Philosophy Society!
Are you curious about life’s big questions? Do you love deep discussions, whether they’re about ethics, the mind, or the meaning of life? The Philosophy Society is here to give everyone a space to explore these questions in an open, engaging, and accessible way.
We’re passionate about making philosophy a welcoming community for people of all backgrounds and levels of experience— whether you’re a seasoned philosophy student or just someone who loves a good debate.
What We Do:
Our society meets regularly for discussion groups, where we dive into different philosophical themes each week. Our discussions are relaxed but thought-provoking; there’s no pressure to have all the answers, just a chance to exchange ideas and challenge each other to think in new ways.
Beyond discussions, we also hold study sessions. These are ideal for anyone needing a bit of support with course material, preparing for assignments, or simply looking to deepen their understanding of key concepts and thinkers. Our study groups foster a sense of camaraderie— we’re all in it together.
Also- if you prefer a more active, openair setting, try joining us for philosophy walks! We meet up, head outside, and let the environment inspire our conversations. There’s something magical about walking and talking; being in nature often opens a different perspective and helps us get past intellectual barriers.
The Philosophy Society is more than just a club—it’s a community “
To keep things varied and fun, we have a Philosophy Film Club that meets twice a month. We watch films suggested by our members that raise philosophical questions or challenge the way we see the world. After the screening, we have an open discussion to explore the themes and ideas in each film— it’s a fantastic way to engage with philosophy through storytelling and cinema.
We also believe in putting philosophy into action, so we hold a charity event every month to support different causes. These events have so far ranged from bingo, Pub quiz and an item drive with all funds going to the chosen charity. It’s a meaningful way to embody our values and give back.
Why You Should Join:
The Philosophy Society is more than just a club—it’s a community of people who believe that philosophy isn’t just for lecture halls and books. We believe that everyone, regardless of their background or field of study, can find something meaningful in philosophy. By joining, you’ll have the chance to make friends, expand your mind, and develop skills in critical thinking, argumentation, and self-reflection.
So, if you’re interested in big ideas, passionate discussions, and meeting people who think deeply about the world, come along! No need for prior knowledge—just bring your curiosity and an open mind.
Words: Molly Wilson
Taylor Swift and Cloudy Judgement
Childhood reminiscence, often cloaked in a warm, nostalgic glow, can inadvertently cloud our judgement. The mind tends to selectively recall the positive aspects of the past, downplaying or even forgetting the challenges and hardships. This selective memory can lead to an idealised view of the past, making it difficult to objectively assess present-day circumstances. This is problematic when it comes to childhood favourites.
Taylor Swift is a beloved figure; this love and admiration has only grown with the recent Eras Tour where many people could dress up as their favourite Taylor Swift album and belt out her anthems to their heart’s content. This idolisation makes it hard to see her as a person and thus, hard to see her flaws. We all have them; celebrities are no different. I have had many a conversation where the inevitable topic of her CO2 emissions (which has become an internet sensation and meme) has come up and they jump to defend her with all their might, refusing any criticisms and slights to their queen bee. The truth is, with the private jet trips across the U.S. and over the pond, she is not doing the planet any favours. Unfortunately, it is not
only her lack of environmentsavvy travelling that is causing people to disapprove of the pop star; she has also been accused multiple times of being a white feminist (white feminism not being a feminist that happens to be white but a ‘feminist’ that only really cares about white, upper-class,
straight and cis women). One of the prime examples being dating, Matty Healy, the lead singer of The 1975, who is known for degrading black women and doing the Nazi salute on stage.
While celebrities do not owe us an explanation every time something happens, it is very anti-feminist (and weird) to date someone who, well, does a nazi salute. They at least owe us an explanation for absurd and offensive behaviour, regardless of celebrity status.
We need to keep celebrities accountable for their actions because they hold significant influence over the public. Their words and behaviours can shape opinions, inspire actions, and even normalise harmful attitudes. When celebrities choose to be ignorant of their influence and then engage in unethical behaviour, it can have farreaching consequences. By holding them accountable, we maintain a standard of integrity and help to protect the public from negative influences. This includes childhood favourites such as Taylor Swift, even though she has an even bigger platform that she did in 2007.
We all have hobbies. Well, I would imagine we all have them at least. Hobbies can be as simple as going for a leisurely run or something more complicated like clay moulding. Traditionally, hobbies have been affordable and accessible to most people, with some exceptions. Sports like football and other ball games are extremely affordable. This makes them a very common hobby for many young people and is obviously great for their health. Playing an instrument can be expensive but there are many cheaper and more affordable options out there, for example you can get a decent guitar for less than £200 pre-owned (this is considered cheap in the guitar world) and get by just fine.
What I want to look at is examples of some hobbies that were affordable in the past but have since become more expensive and less accessible or increasingly difficult to maintain. Two prominent examples that come to mind are vinyl record collecting and film photography. In the early 2000s, vinyl was at a low point in terms of popularity which made the records cheaper to collect for new pressings. The resurgence of records over the past decade has seen vinyl reach some of its highest sales since 1992 and more
and more pressings are being made. The increase in demand has led to prices going up. Furthermore, due to the lack of pressing plants, there have been longer wait times for artists to release any pressings.
Film photography has also had a resurgence in popularity, and with that came an increase in the price of film. In the US, Kodak Porta 400 Colour Film would sell for around $45 for a five pack while in recent years some retailers have been pricing it for as much as $80. Yes, inflation is one of the reasons for such a dramatic increase but the rising popularity in recent years is also to blame.
I find it slightly concerning that a hobby that was once relatively accessible is becoming less and less so, especially as these were once the standard format for collecting music and photography respectively. Hobbies should be accessible to all people, especially those in the creative fields or music space, as these are often dominated by more wealthy individuals. I hope that the prices will decrease for both mediums, and the market becomes less saturated.
The Silent Comfort
Reminiscing, especially in this stage of life, is not only the act of looking back on fond memories but can also be a self-soothing comfort in times of apprehension. Despite criticism by some as not living in the moment or the shameful regret of taking time for granted, I believe the nostalgic act of reminiscing is a comforting and natural part of life, that will always be with us.
Some consider it a type of real-life magic, how incredible it is that a certain smell, song or piece of media can transport you back to a time of treasured comfort. It could be a toy you completely forgot existed from your childhood, but when you were six it felt like an extension of yourself you couldn’t survive without. Or maybe it’s the smell of freshly baked apple crumble straight out of the oven teleporting you right back to your Gran’s kitchen when you were eight, staring at her in dumbstruck awe, wondering how she could make something so delicious all by herself and wishing you were grown up so you could do the same.
The enthralling thing about memories is that no matter how old we may grow or how far we may move from where that memory took place, it will never leave us. It is the silent comfort that follows us throughout our lives.
This is something I take great joy in, how me at 18 looks back on my childhood full of cartwheels and slime, of feeling so ready yet simultaneously so scared to grow up. In 10 or 20 years I will repeat this cycle, latching onto the nostalgia of this time I’m experiencing now as a fresher. I’ll look back on the friendships I’ve made and the overwhelming feeling of adulthood and know it was all okay.
Reminiscing isn’t something that should be criticised or something that haunts us throughout our lives, but rather it is an appreciation of how far we have come, all the trials and tribulations endured. 16-yearold me could never have guessed that this is where I would’ve ended up, she would have been proud and I can confidently say so would 3-year-old me, and I know this because they are still there. Reminiscing is an admiration of what brought you to who you are now and how all of those experiences up until now have contributed to that.
Especially in daunting times of new experiences where trepidation seems to take a hold, and as a fresher who just a month ago was living a completely different life can confirm that it can be a big adjustment, we should remember how that childhood of cartwheels and slime is not gone forever but rather carries with me in my everyday life. We should take solace in the fact that it cannot be as bad as it seems, as it appeared that way during a time we now look back on with such tenderness.
Do you recall what you looked like when you were 2?
Maybe you have a few sweet photos of you covered in mud or nestled in a fort of blankets, perhaps in front of a national landmark or in a puddle. I have many photos of myself at 2 - thanks, Mum - but only twelve of myself at 20, as far as I can find. It’s not simply an issue of quantity, either, at 2 I was toddling through the wilderness or smashing chocolate into my face and at 20…the same 45-degree angle with the same placid smile invariably taken from a front facing camera on a phone.
I worry about what this means for my dimensions at 20, did I lack something my 2-year-old self-had? The other 315 degrees of myself?
Joseph Niépce is considered the father of photography, specifically photography’s predecessor Heliography. Many experts agree that his image ‘View from the Window at Le Gras’, taken some time between 1822 and 1827, was the first photograph ever developed. The image is quite devoid of life, presumably because the process took too long to capture anything so frenetic as a living thing, but still I found it to resonate within me. I know it was the process that demanded the subject at the time but even now, with my instant digital camera on my phone, I have photographs of rooftops, wet leaves, sunsets, and unusual stones…but only twelve of my face at the age of 20.
I know why. I culled the images fairly recently. Something about my google photo drive being inundated with images taken by myself, of myself with so few from any other context made me feel disgusted. They weren’t moments I wanted to remember, the very existence of them made me self-indulgent. Vain and alone in the beady, unforgiving, camera lens. The process was too simple, too quick and tied to results. To take a selfie lacks process, lacks ritual, lacks the tactile making of a memory.
My friend Sam has a polaroid camera and a tin full of memories. Many of them are from days where nothing in particular was happening. Just people caught wide eyed in the shock of a camera flash, sitting at the counter in his flat. I am in this tin, blotchy and startled, caught from a very unforgiving angle. I love this photo and every photo it sits beside.
My friend Charlie has a film camera that he takes everywhere and catches people glowing outside of pubs, grinning against warm lights, ecstatic after gigs. Last week he sent me an image of some such moments developed. In several I look slack, or like a piece of gum squashed (I am not naturally photogenic), in one I look quite nice. I love them all.
Niépce was surely driven by obsession of an idea and, whilst I do not claim to share his inventive spirit, I think I know something of his fascination with keeping a moment. Through every painting for centuries and every story beyond that, we keep trying to hold time in our hands and pass it on to the next person. We want to look back and see where we came from.
Whilst vapidness and the usual amount of post-adolescent narcissism contributed to my photo taking habits when I was 20, there was also something of this urge mixed in. The desire to know my own face, to mark it as being the face of myself at 20. This is why, when I culled my photos for cases of extreme vanity, I left some in. I don’t like to remember it that way, but it is true that I was - and I would love to say it was only at 20, but that’s such a lie - very concerned with how I came across and the way I looked was a huge part of that.
When I think about looking back now, I look more fondly upon the pictures of myself at 2 than at 20, but there’s something reassuring about seeing the trail of my progress, nonetheless.
I treasure photos of myself now, though I try not to take them, in turn I take pictures of rocks and snow and rain that reflects the city lights, and of course of my friends whose faces I may only know at this age or may see blossom into old age if I am lucky. I try and learn from Niépce, Charlie, and Sam. I try to take hold of moments in my hands to pass them on. Physically, if I can. Honestly, I guess I’m just saying: invest in a film camera, it looks so much cooler.
Everywhere I go, I tend to take down notes in a small journal, mostly as a form of recording my own thoughts or events that I want to remember; but I also like to offer the pen to others and have them write down something that’s on their minds. More often than not, they stare at the paper for a few seconds, before asking me with a puzzled expression: what do I write? I simply tell them: something; anything; everything.
Some people have asked why I do this, which I understand; it’s not a usual thing to see anyone walk around with a pen and a notepad more frequently than a mobile phone nowadays. My answer is thus: I do this because I want to record history, albeit in a different manner than images captured on a camera.
When a pen is put to paper, there’s something about it that personifies a person differently than a camera can. It’s a showing of a person’s true self, within the words they use, within each ink-stroke of character, there is a story to be found.
Yet, these stories are almost never found in the modern day. Writing is a dying art, especially on paper. And so, I do this to preserve the art of the written word, written in the hands of anyone, and especially in the hands of those who would not do so otherwise.
Since the beginning of this roleplayhistorian project, I have received a variety of different quotes, phrases, terrible drunken jokes, life advice and creative sentences from many different people. These are mostly off the top of their heads, but if someone truly cannot think of what to write, I will give them three words: a verb, a noun, and an adjective, and have them write a sentence using those three words. The latter is usually where the creativity sparks and flourishes into something that surprises even the one who writes it.
However, there is the occasional spontaneous quote that stands out more than most. I have, from one of the first people that wrote something down in my journal, a single quote that they wrote spontaneously, straight from the heart: “Travel when young, reminisce when old.”
This in itself is a philosophic statement that could ignite conversation over when exactly that period between travelling and reminiscing is. But it’s the latter half of his quote that stays with me, because it is towards that exact purpose that I feel determined to keep writing in my journal, as well as asking others to do the same – to reminisce when old.
To one day in the very distant future have come far in life, to have lived life to its fullest in whatever way you see fit; and, after rummaging around in your parents’ attic, finding and opening a cardboard box that’s been sealed for forty years, labelled: “misc.”, your hand clasps a familiar object. You turn the pages, and flip through sentences belonging to a time almost entirely forgotten from memory.
The work of yourself and others, from a very long time ago. The reasons as to why any of it was written may be lost to you, but that is part of the beauty of it, to wonder.
I have been to plenty of second-hand bookshops, and one thing that always stands out to me, (and forces me to buy books), are inscriptions written by a previous owner. Dedications to friends or family, a student’s scribblings of their thoughts as to the meanings of certain
words or phrases, or; quite simply, who the book belonged to, and when they received it. Through this, you reminisce in a way, as if looking into a mirror and seeing a different reflection, viewing memories of life lived through another person, treading lightly within their footsteps. It makes you evocative of a time that isn’t even yours, yet you can still feel it. This is the beauty of the written word. It is the essence of reminiscence.
In the words of JL Carr; an author who wrote in the novella ‘A Month in the Country’ around the theme of reminiscence, remembering days long gone; when describing a rose that the character Birkin receives as a gift, and telling of the account decades later: “I still have it. Pressed in a book. Someday, after a sale, a stranger will find it there and wonder why.”
The Cynical World of Ghost Kitchens
Delivery apps became common during Covid-19, restaurants have relied on them in order to remain open, but over the past few years they have become infiltrated by ghost kitchens. ‘Ghost kitchens’ (also known as dark kitchens) pretend to be new and upcoming restaurants, but you will never find their physical building. You can’t walk down the road and see the restaurant name on a building, these kitchens run out of existing restaurants without customers’ knowledge.
‘Ghost Kitchens’ began in America and have since started planting their roots in the UK. ‘Mr Beast Burger’ is an example. It was created by Mr Beast (a YouTuber that currently has over 300 million subscribers) and a majority of these ‘Mr Beast Burger’ locations are ghost kitchens. Mr Beast is a very recognisable name and due to this reputation, many felt like they could trust this restaurant start up which feels predatory alongside the fact that most of his audience are children who are easily swayed by the brand. Mr Beast began distancing himself
from his own creation due to failures with his chain of ghost kitchens. Ghost kitchens as a concept prey on the consumer by posing as a new and upcoming restaurant. The lack of knowledge surrounding ghost kitchens is shocking but understandable, they are an epidemic and they’re spreading through delivery apps like wildfire.
Open JustEat on your phone and see if you can spot an ‘88th Street Burger Bar’ or a ‘Might Burger’ or a restaurant of a similar name often followed by the name of the street that the restaurant is located on. In Dundee, one establishment on Perth Road runs 8 ghost kitchens out of one kitchen! 69.9% of the 32 people that I surveyed stated that they would not feel comfortable ordering from a restaurant if they knew that 8 other restaurants were being ran out of the same kitchen but that’s if they know. Ghost kitchens don’t declare on delivery apps that there are multiple restaurants in one kitchen. You have to find this out yourself and the only way to check this is by checking the
address on the delivery app, but the majority of people don’t know how to check this. Not disclosing that a restaurant is a ghost kitchen is very unethical. The average consumer does not know how to identify a ghost kitchen, nor do they know what they are with 56.3% of the 32 people that I surveyed not knowing what they are. Ghost kitchens might feel obvious once you know of them but it’s so hard to find information about them which results in more and more people falling into their trap. If we’re purely discussing ethics, this is a major lack of transparency which restaurants should have with their clientele so that consumers know what they are spending their money on.
Alongside the issue with the lack of declaration of the variety of restaurants in one kitchen, health and allergen issues are very prominent. Cross contamination is an increased risk in these kitchens due to an increase in ingredients within one kitchen. It appears that the main restaurant that they run out of gains the FSA pass and all of the ghost kitchens use the same one which indicates that allergens won’t be taken into account nor will cross-contamination.
Furthermore, Ghost kitchens take away from small businesses. Stonegate is a company that runs over 1000 pubs, bars and clubs. These pubs tend to run ghost kitchens out of them, with all of the restaurant names that I mentioned previously commonly
being run out of Stonegate managed pubs. So, by definition, Stonegate is in no way a small business and they own the pub in Dundee that has the most ghost kitchens within it. These ghost kitchens push real small businesses into the gutter as the oversaturation of ghost kitchens flood the apps. For instance, in Dundee eight spots are being taken up by one individual restaurant that is raking in all of the profits. There are only so many spaces within delivery apps and they are all competing for the consumer to pick them. For one restaurant to take up eight of these spaces is just appalling. Behind every local restaurant, there is one individual who has spent their life savings on it and works hard to handcraft every detail of their establishment from the recipes for the menu to the colour of the couches. How are they meant to compete with eight of the same restaurant? Having these restaurants disguised as local places is cynical, you might as well just have eight of “The Braes” taking up these slots instead. These ghost kitchens do not care about the businesses they are taking from consumers, they only care about one thing and that is money.
Sticky Memories
(Did you know that Apis Mellifera, also known as the Western honeybee, can have societies with over 60,000 members? And that most of those will be female?)
There are memories which you can look back on and know that they were an important stone in the house you call “self”. For me, the summer mum had about a hundred beehives to care for, is one of these. Beekeeping is an intense summer job. A beehive should be visited every tenth day to ensure
that everything is well with the hive, as well as to prevent swarming. A hive will usually swarm for one of two reasons. A) there is no food within a three-kilometre radius. This is as far as a bee can fly and still bring nectar home to the hive without eating it all on the way back. B) there is not enough space within the hive. A beehive will start producing queen cells if they feel cramped for space, and a beehive can only have one Queen at a time. There are easy solutions for both. For A), feed the hive caster sugar and they will live comfortably on this until a new source of food appears. For B), give them more space. Most modern beehives consist of boxes that can be placed on top of each other to build ever taller homes as the situation calls for it. The beekeeper simply needs to visit about every tenth day to prevent either of them from becoming an issue.
The apiaries my mum had consisted of ten to fifteen beehives. Both so she could bring with her all the relevant equipment, but also so that she could get through all the hives in a reasonable time while travelling with two young children. It was definitely an unorthodox way of spending the summer months, but I cannot for the life of me imagine that I had it worse than other kids my age. Travelling, playing with the Lego we had in the back of the car whenever we stopped, and like any young child, the hours flew by.
Did you know bees can tell time? Through a series of experiments starting in 1929, where Ingeborg Beling taught her bees to exit their hive at a specific time by giving them sugar water at that time every day. Then, she stopped giving them sugar water, and the bees still left the hive at the normal time. Further experiments by other people proved that bees do not rely on outside factors such as temperature, sunshine, or humidity. Despite the variation (or lack thereof) of the variables, the bees left their hive on a 24-hour clock. The last, and most convincing piece of evidence, was when an experiment proved that bees do not rely on the rotation of the earth. Max Renner, by training the bees in Europe and then flying them to North America, was able to prove that the bees worked on an internal clock, as the bees left the hive on the Europe time and not the local North American time.
Mum had created a system where, if she went to one apiary every day, she could keep them all in check, with any rainy days serving as free days. You should not visit an apiary in bad weather as, just like you, they do not appreciate having their roof taken off during a rainstorm. The bees will not swarm, so there is no need to worry. This schedule was intense, and with both of her kids too young to be of any help, mum had her plate full.
In beekeeping, apart from an ever-increasing number of bees, you do not see much progress until mid-summer and autumn. All this intense summer work is done in the hopes that the beehive will be strong enough to bring in kilos upon kilos of honey, and they need the numbers as a single bee will produce less than a teaspoon of honey over the course of her life. A single kilo of honey requires the bees to visit over 20 million flowers. All this work, and when the winter comes around, the bees keep none of it. The beekeeper will harvest all the honey. Instead, the hive will be given a 3:5 solution
0f water and sugar to survive the winter months. Each hive was given about 20 kilos of this solution. Helping mum open the individual 1 kilo sugar bags to empty into the warm water to dissolve it was made into a race. The mixing room was cloyingly sweet during this time, and even by just entering it, you felt the warm sugar water stick to your clothes and hair. These are memories I look back on with great fondness, and which put down a cornerstone for the person I grew into.
One cannot help but share the sentiment of the infamous Tom Cruise, ‘I love my popcorn. Movies, popcorn’. Particularly during these autumn nights, both the big and little screens lend themselves to feelings of warmth and comfort, and provide the escapism that students need.
The great thing about film is that it possesses a myriad of ways in which we can see ourselves, and other people. We desperately try to relate to characters, adapt our behaviours, and deepen our understanding of the human experience, all whilst judging our friends’ top four on Letterboxd. They are a part of us. What’s more, however, is that film can change our views, spark debates and bring issues to the forefront in ways not once possible. To quote Christopher Nolan’s 2024 Oscar acceptance speech, ‘We don’t know where this incredible journey is going from here’.
However, cinemas globally have experienced real hardship following the pandemic, and of course, access to streaming services has only exacerbated this. Here in Dundee, the DCA has served filmgoers for over a quarter of a century. They have been in the heart of the city, providing an excellent viewing experience, showing a variety of films, hosting festivals,
serving food and drinks, all on top of fair prices and memberships. Though, they have recently reported online that they ‘face an extremely uncertain future’.
A lack of clear support from the Scottish Government has left an agonising wait for the DCA, in that it will be January 2025 before they have clarity on one of its sponsor’s abilities to continue its support. Similar concerns were shared last year, and highlights both the danger that the DCA are in, and the importance of our individual contributions to its survival.
One simple way in which we can show solidarity is by popping along for a cozy showing on one of their screens. I personally find that during the semester, detaching from the workload and allowing time to relax, is key for success.
Whilst it is an absolute delight to be watching a movie in the comfort of your own space, often a trip to the pictures both improves the quality of the film and makes for a fun outing. Everyone remembers their first trip to the cinema, and we can all reflect on what movies constituted our childhoods, teenage years etc. To lose the home of them would be a real travesty.
Some memories stick with us, the kind we’d rather leave behind but somehow can’t shake, shaping who we are in ways we don’t always see. Nostalgia and reminiscence are words often painted as warm and comforting, but they can also have a darker side. Positive reminiscing is a choice- we often look back on happy memories when we need a lift in our attitudes. However, negative memories don’t wait for an invitation; they can flood our minds unexpectedly, often with a strong force we can’t control. In any place, at any time, the slightest thing -a familiar scent, a passing face, a simple phrase- can force upon us recollections we have been long wishing to forget. Personally, my initial reaction is almost always to wish these memories would disappear. Who wouldn’t want to erase painful experiences if given the chance? Yet perhaps that impulse to reject them overlooks their purpose. Perhaps we should pause to consider whether these burdens are truly things we’d want to shed- or if, in fact, these memories are essential parts of who we are, shaping us in ways we might not fully understand.
Here’s where I stand: our painful memories are just as necessary to us as our happy ones. While the ability to forget and move on from our negative experiences sounds appealing, I believe they are necessary steps in the process towards ultimate fulfilment within ourselves. I think that it often comes down to the question of one’s character and capacity to find positivity in the face of adversity. Growth doesn’t come from erasing what’s hard; it comes from reflecting on it, even when it brings us pain. These memories remind us of who we are, where we’ve been, and what we’ve overcome. They enable us to develop the maturity needed to navigate increasingly complex situations as we move through life. In my opinion, when we embrace both the good and bad in our past, we allow ourselves to develop empathy, patience, and wisdom that we couldn’t gain any other way. Therefore, whilst this idea of negative nostalgia initially seems detrimental to our lives, I believe it in fact leads us into a cycle of ongoing reflection, where our experiences help us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our emotions.
“Or may-
Has your favourite musician been biopiced yet? Few artists, alive or dead, seem beyond the tendrils of this longstanding and exceptionally profitable cinema trope. It’s no wonder that, given their familiarity and pre-loved soundtracks, they rank amongst the most lucrative titles of modern cinema. However, beneath their well-produced, yet often slightly bland surface, they mask serious issues. From a potentially problematic distortion of history with entertainment, to the exploitation of artists.
The adaptation of someone’s real life for the screen requires a selective focussing of the narrative to keep viewers engaged. The choice must be made to simplify and dramatize objective history. However, the resulting restructured timelines, character chimeras, and exaggerated or even fabricated dramatic elements, frequently leave viewers with the wrong idea. If you’ve googled “Is it really true that…”, after finishing a film, only to discover the extent of the creative licence exercised or nuance omitted, you will relate to the disconnect created between fact and fiction. Of course, we expected some, but how much? And where? Most viewers won’t dig into this, instead accept a rewritten history.
In one person this may seem insignificant, yet when viewed at scale, the public’s
perception of the truth noticeably shifts. Especially, as the huge cultural attention these films often receive works to drownout, through their scale, budget, and simplistic allure, any dissenting voices which preach nuance or alternatives.
Furthermore, this adaptation to film, often through a familiar Hollywoodbiopic meat-grinder, regularly strips protagonists down to specific aspects of their character, watering-down or omitting some less flattering and complex parts of themselves, and their context. Which risks mythologizing them, further distorting the truth and context of their story. A point of particular importance, when the artist’s consent to the project is absent or dubious. Such as is painfully apparent with the recent Amy Winehouse film, where the line between tribute and exploitation seems treacherously thin.
Yet, for decades such films have entertained fans and newcomers alike, while sharing art and history, and spotlighting the life-stories of many exceptional figures. So, we should continue to enjoy and learn from them, just whilst bearing in mind the implications of their precarious weaving of fact and fiction. Noting that, despite their positive intentions always being overshadowed by a need to be profitable, viewers can still drive responsible filmmaking through our informed choice. And if we demand greater nuance and responsibility? Perhaps we’ll get it…
Student Housing Assessment Report
In Dundee there are about 18,000 full time students, most of whom (16,000 give or take) left home for Dundee and stayed in student halls for their first year (Slightly less than 4,000 a year) before sending their money to private landlords. These 14,000 students that don’t live in purpose-builtstudent-accommodation (PBSA) have a few problems, living like the local rabble means rats and mouldyou’d never find that at The Hub or Belmont. More importantly, these 14,000 students and their SAAS payments are going towards having fun and living costs whereas I - an international property developer - think all the money should go into my pockets.
BIG PROPERTY has another 3,000 student beds on the way in Dundee, with rooms just big enough to fit a small double bed and prefabricated bathrooms already mouldy. Hundreds of beds are complete in Blackness but I have seen some dissent:
Why would I want to live all alone, double my rent, have a fire alarm go off every other morning, and move from a vibrant area to a quasiindustrial estate? Because we, the property developers, believe that you, the future, do not have the time or intelligence to pay electricity bills, clean your own homes, and- quite obviouslymanage your finances.
Follow me, Penn. E. Steeler, on a tour of 2 Scottish student houses: The glorious new CRM student’s Stanley Studios in Dundee (£920 to £1400 a month*) and the detestable Edinburgh Student housing co-op (£388 a month).
look more appealing: “If you died in our premium plus mezzanine studio you could die happy knowing your rent is twice the mortgage payments on a 4-bed house and your body would never be found because you don’t have proper flatmates.”
CRM Studios are what students want and so are selling out really, really, fast (since July) and are still in high demand, with every type of room still available to rent starting now (mid-semester). Here we see the manager posing as a prospective student on TikTok to make the flats
Next, we go to Edinburgh to see the student housing co-op, owned by...What?... The students that live there?! This horrible wart took over a glorious private PBSA and plummeted the rent, bringing unfair competition to the market and money out of my pockets. Running for 10 years the flats allow dangerous freedoms like being able to decorate your own room and having a say in how your home is managed. The people that live there engage with each other, learn skills through maintaining the property, and run the risk of making friends as they share the flats with flatmates. It’s a fucking travesty!
*£199- £315 a week
Meet the team!
Senior
Team
Editor-in-Chief
Hannah Hamilton
Dep. Editor-in-Chief
Arianna De Prosperis
Creative Directors
Ayla Ahmed
Heidi Le
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The Magdalen is published by Dundee University Student Association (DUSA).
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Jonathan Padilla
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Mia Duffy
Ariane Legradi
Ron Jargielo
Emma Vind
Fleur Pirie
Wen Xi Kong
Lola Bradbury-Paukner
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Katherine Donaghy
Alexander Stewart
Mary Musa
Yousif Saleem
Cover Artist
The gorgeous Cover Art for Issue 110 was done by one of our incredible Illustrators; Fleur Pirie!
Section Editors & Publishing
Culture
Tom Christison
Kaitlyn Mann
Creative
Mona Lin Eckle
Emma Thomson
Lifestyle
Eva Milne
Olivia Runciman
Opinions
Angus Coleman
Ayanna Cullen
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Elinor Whyte
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What's on?
31st31st5th6th8th March April May March
Confessions of a Shinagawa Monkey
A major new international theatre work based on short stories by the acclaimed author Haruki Murakami, playing at the Dundee Rep.
Mills Observatory – Winter Season
The Mills Observatory open Monday to Friday: 4pm-10pm and Saturday 6.30-10pm. Come stargaze!
Impressed: Twentieth Century Artist
Prints from Dundee’s Collection
A new exhibition at The McManus showcases Dundee’s magnificent collection of twentieth century fine art prints.
A Fragile Correspondence
A Fragile Correspondence will take visitors on a journey through three Scottish landscapes across the Highlands, Islands and Lowlands, mapping a collection of creative responses by architects, artists and writers.