Issue 38 - November 2013 by The Magdalen

DUNDEE UNIVERSITY STUDENTS’ MAGAZINE • ISSUE 38 • FREE

SKYDIVING CLUB HOW TO BE AN

ASS GRAB ETIQUETTE

READER OFFERS

HANGOVER CURES

ART STUDENT

ON HAIR AND BEAUTY

EDITOR’S LETTER

Danielle Ames

And cue begin another one of those long-winded editorials.

Editor in Chief Danielle Ames

There’s no Miley on the front cover this time, instead web design student Paul Hardie looking semi-rapey; in my opinion, still a win.

Deputy Editor Harrison Kelly

A few weeks ago marked the end of Come Dine With Media. I think we’re all about five stone heavier as a result. After four consecutive days of fine dining, cocktail party conversation and under the bed snooping, I know extensively far too much about the three fellows I share an office with. They’re picky. Like three-year-old kid kind of picky. Craig (radio) doesn’t like milk, or nuts, or fish, or anything really. Doug (TV) isn’t a fan of pickles, and Felix (online) doesn’t like steak, or bacon. Who doesn’t like steak or bacon? It was a long week. Not quite sure how, but I managed to scrape by with a win. Bragging rights it is. If there’s only one article you read in the whole issue, make it Katie Mcintyre’s, ‘How to be an Art Student’ on page 6 (tempted as we were to put it in Helvetica). It will at least explain the angry mob of art students in the cantina upon publication. Interiors are the touchiest, so they’ll probably be trying to assault Katie with a sharp bench. Fine art students will just make an emotion tree to express their disgust. As always, make sure to check out our website, containing movie reviews, exec updates, and Craig’s column on hating Christmas at dusamedia.com. Did the piece on sexual harassment piss you off ? Makeup tutorial save you? Like the drawings in the Freedom of Press article? Let us know at themagdalen@dusa.co.uk.

Online Editor Felix Reimer Head of Design Alex Nicholson Craig Morrison Features Editor Alice Harrold Arts Editor Juliet Wright Entertainment Editor Magdalena Pentcheva Current Affairs Editor Jalal Abukhater Fashion Editor Claire McPhillimy Lifestyle Editor Kate Lakie Societies Editor Rebecca Shearer Sports Editor Katharine Sharpe Travel Editor Rose Matheson

Contributers Kirstie Allan, Alex Alpin, Rebecca Arnold, Lauren Brand, Ryan Brown, Kevin Burns, Euan Forbes, Struan Fraser, Chris Gerrard, Lotte Haley-Lee, Bela Herting, Lauren Jean Findlay, Julie Kanya, Tomasz Lipiec, Susie McGowan, Katie McIntyre, Kathryn McKnight, Claire McPhillimy, Leona Reid, Dominic Younger, Susanne Zimnoch

Production Mary Beth Aird, Ryan Cashin, Jacquetta Clark, Danni Finlayson, Paul Hardie, Sanuel Hill, Connor MacDonald, Susie McGowan, Amy McGregor, Katie McIntyre, Craig Morrison, Marina Munro, Alex Nicholson, Samuel Pérez Gutiérrez, Aileen Poe, Anna Reid, Justina Smile, Juliet Wright, Hazel Wyllie

PUBLISHED BY Zuchaela Smylie, VPCC DUSA, Airlie Place Dundee, DD1 4PH vpcc@dusa.co.uk PRINTED BY Winters & Simpson Print 16 Dunsinane Avenue Dundee, DD2 3QT sales@wintersimpson.co.uk

Issue 38

CONTENTS On the cover...Have confidence in dating

FASHION

ART 02

Choose Scotland

The Hit List

Dundee Literary Festival

Smokey Eye Tutorial

How to be an Art Student

Collaborate and Listen ENTERTAINMENT

TRAVEL 06

Cycling Around Europe

Steam Machine

Ireland

Bands of the Month

Doctor Who

LIFESTYLE SOCIETIES 09

Hangover cures

Liberty House

History Society

Benjamin Barker

What Dundee needs SPORT

CURRENT AFFAIRS 12

New Pope

Ski Club

Global arms trade

Poverty in Sport

Railways

Sky Diving

FEATURES 16

Knight for a Night

Dance Floor Etiquette

Free Press

10 Things From Your Childhood

ART

Choose Life.

Choose Scotland.

Julie Kanya on Trainspotting, Haggis and why Scottish culture is pure dead brilliant. According to my ‘World Map of Stereotypes’ Scotland is simply described as the home of fried-food addicts and heavy drinkers. Maybe trying to cram an intricate description of month-long art festivals (I’m looking at you, Edinburgh), generation-deﬁning novels and ground-breaking indie bands into a couple of lines is not that feasible, but surely there is more to Scotland than that. Honestly, look around. Take a deep breath whilst pondering the signiﬁcance of James McAvoy riding a pig and don’t tell me that for one minute you’re fooled that Scotland is merely an Irn Bruinfused chippie culture? So where to begin? Just what is Scottish art and culture? Where did it all originate, how has it grown and, more importantly, where is it headed? Moreover, does every deed of creative value deserve to be referenced back to our supposedly ‘offal’ haggis? I could write novels about how the Scottish Reformation sparked an air of rebellion that can still be felt, or about how Charles Rennie Mackintosh transformed Glasgow into an Art Nouveau landmark of the world. I could also discuss, in minute detail, how Irvine Welsh’s

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cult classic ‘Trainspotting’ painted such a dreary picture of the then HIV capital of Europe, that yours truly was seriously considering buying platform shoes before her ﬁrst visit. But I’m not going to. If anything, this is an open plea against stereotypes. There is much to explore and discover; from Celtic rhymes and ruins, to Biffy Clyro and David Mach. Glasgow is home to the Commonwealth Games in 2014, Dundee is making a bid to become the City of Culture in 2017, Aberdeen hosts Scotland’s only contemporary dance festival and Edinburgh can only be described as awesome, especially during the aforementioned Fringe festival. St Andrews needs an honourable mention, purely for being a posh bubble where you’re just as likely to run into Hugh

Grant as you are to see a foamﬁght between intoxicated teens. Ultimately, art and culture is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, in this case, they’re also in the eye of the whisky-glass holder. Betwixt arguments of how cultured or non-cultured Scotland is, it’s important to take your own stance on the matter. Simply put, you will only get to know the small bit of Scotland you conﬁne yourself to; it is easy to be oblivious to the bigger picture unless you travel it. You’re at University, you’re young, the world is your oyster and the sky’s the limit. Why not walk 500 miles and draw your own quirky image of what Scottish culture means to you?

Dundee Literary Festival

ART

What Scottish culture and books have in common by Ryan Brown

‘ ’

Right from the very beginning, I knew I wanted to write palpably Scottish ﬁction Ian Rankin

As someone who has neglected to read any book by Irvine Welsh purely based on the assumption I cannot understand the Edinburgh dialect; culture and the Scottish people are not topics that regularly plague my mind. On Wednesday the 23rd of October however, Dundee Literary Festival launched with its own take on Scottish Independence. They proposed their own question, where does culture ﬁt into the debate? It really got me thinking... Obviously culture plays a massive part in the identity of a nation, and naturally Scotland has a strong cultural identity, but just what is culture anyway? What is its relationship with nationality? And is it exclusive to my middle-class love of a good cheeseboard? Personally, I’ve never been more Irish or speciﬁcally Northern Irish since I left home. Now I’ve read every book on the planet about Belfast, gorging on the familiar streets I used to call home. I’m currently ashamed to say that I have not read Iain Banks or an Alexander McCall Smith or even a Robert Louis Stevenson, though I do have a fondness for Peter Pan and Sherlock Holmes. No matter what I think of the Independence debate, Scotland is

now my second home and I think it’s time I started to embrace it. Perhaps this Burns’ Night instead of whisky, I finally pick up a poem and find out what all the fuss is about. Having enjoyed the first event so thoroughly I can’t wait for the rest of the Festival. If you’re reading this article I’m sad to say that it’s over now but let me tell you what you’ve missed. Crime enthusiasts had plenty to sink their teeth into with Scottish novelists Quintin Jardine, Denise Mina and William Mcllvanney all making an appearance, whilst dragon Duncan Bannatyne left the den to promote his new memoirs. Gold medallist Catherine Grainger and football player and manager Tommy McLean represented the world of sport, and my mum’s favourite Maggie O’Farrell was promoting her new novel about a dysfunctional Irish family. For those who were having sugar cravings after the Bake Off final, last year’s winner John Whaite was the icing on the cake. The weekend wrapped up with Star Blazers, a collection of the writers and illustrators behind 2000 AD, Britain’s premiere science fiction comic. If you missed it, don’t worry! There’s always next year, bookworms! ISSUE 38 03

ART

HOW TO BE A STEREOTYPICAL

“Art Student” Disclaimer: Can’t take a joke? Read no further.

erhaps you’ve sat and thought about how great it would be to be an art student. How hard your course is in comparison to the papier-mâché life of a cool art kid. Stressing out over exams when you could be a smug bastard without any. If so, look no further my friend. Here lies an instructional guide to being an art student. However, before you choose the creative lifestyle, you must know that there are many different types of art student and it is important to choose wisely. First you’ve got those Fine Art, airy-fairy, sculpture, time-based folk who fanny about with paint and feelings. Trying to express those emotions that ketamine just won’t suppress. If you want to be one of those fellows, try not washing for a week, dying your hair an obscene colour and wearing something a homeless person would reject. If you’re not

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that talented, try not to worry, some gal ﬁngered herself for her ﬁrst-class degree so why not give that a bash. If Fine Art doesn’t set your heart racing then let’s see if Interior Design suits. If your general knowledge only goes as far as scatter cushions and rugs then you’re in. It’s all about what looks good - but that doesn’t stretch as far as the students. Unfortunately Changing Rooms got cancelled back in 2004, and it turns out nobody needs a degree in how to paint a wall. If you’re worried about losing contact with your fellow interior design buddies– don’t, you’ll soon be seeing them at a Homebase near you. Illustrators are found in the basement and it isn’t hard to see why. With their quirky animal jumpers and even more kooky idea of drawing, these guys aren’t hard to impress. Just pop along with a two-bomb of Frosty Jack’s, a bag

of onion rings and do sweet fuck all. If you’re worried about tutor interaction, don’t. ‘Cause they ain’t got one. As long as you can conjure up a few line drawings of a teapot, its plain sailing. Next up you have the Product Designers and Architects who share the personality of a plank of wood, a section of the Crawford building and not much else. Want to be a Product Designer? It’s crucial that you have a talent for playing with gloriﬁed lego and polystyrene. If Architecture tickles your pickle, then buy yourself a beanie and make no plans with friends as you won’t be seeing daylight for the next four years. Fancy yourself as a wannabe hipster? Look no further, you’ll ﬁt right into Graphic Design! In a studio where Helvetica is the answer to everything, Graphic Designers think that they are the bee’s knees, and why wouldn’t they? Designing posters is pretty

ART

tricky business. Watch you don’t trip up when it comes to deadline time though, as your fellow Graphics buddies will step right over you, and possibly give you a kick to ensure that they get to the print shop before you. Basically just mince about like you’ve cured cancer, when really all you’ve done is picked out a font for a greetings card. Textiles and Jewellery students take the saying ‘life is a catwalk’ pretty seriously. The mean girls of art school, they look ready for Skint at the drop of a hat. Thought the days of segregation were gone? Well think again; these guys don’t

mix. To make it with the textiles crowd the ability to tie-dye and reattach buttons is a must. Don’t give yourself a nosebleed though, there’s always the option of heading down to jewellery to make a necklace out of macaroni.

To make it as any type of art student; arrogance, bad fashion and the ability to draw a realistic knob in life drawing class is key. If you don’t harbour these three qualities then, dude, who are you kidding? You’ll never make it.

Lastly, it’s the Animators and they’re hardly the Lotharios of the art school. If you’re not knee-deep in clunge don’t panic, as foreplay takes the form of watching Bambi in a darkened room. Being an Animator isn’t particularly hard, just take on the wardrobe choice of your favourite Pixar character and stand awkwardly to the side of all social interactions.

Katie McIntyre

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TRAVEL

THE MAGIC AND MADNESS OF RANDOM EXPERIENCES Cycling around Europe WITH SUSANNE ZIMNOCH

his is madness. This is pure madness. Why don’t you put yourself on a nice comfy train and ride back home? Have a hot shower and a warm bed? This was a thought that regularly passed through my mind on this trip, but it always left as quickly as it came. My friend Skye picked me up in my home town in Germany. I felt terribly unprepared. I wasn’t used to having so much stuff on my bike. My muscles hurt every day – especially my bum. Everything hurt. Every night I fell into a coma and Skye had the difﬁcult task of bringing me back to life in the morning. We cut ourselves off from civilisation into a diminished speed of life. No GPS, no mobiles, no aims. It’s just us, our bikes, a tent and a rough direction: South. Or maybe East.

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Before long, I got used to cycling and I started to really enjoy it. I would speed down the precious smooth tarmac roads, having the wind in my face and the beauty of nature around me. It didn’t make sense to travel in any other way. Especially when I realised how many miles I already left behind – using nothing but my muscles. We never stayed longer than three or four days in each city as we were usually eager to get back onto the bikes. It’s quite a different feeling being outside the whole time. We would stop and watch cars passing by and they seemed like bubbles to me. Being inside a car means having full control of the air you breathe, the sounds you hear and the temperature. Cars move people, but at the same time they keep you still.

TRAVEL

Nature became my new home – a tent as my bedroom with rivers and lakes as showers. But our new home wasn’t out to protect us – trees crashed directly next to our tent and rain ﬂooded inside it. The wind came past at speeds that sounded like explosions outside. Adrenaline was always in our blood. Further south, storms were replaced with heat making everything around us dry. When we passed through burning forests I felt as if we had ended up in some sort of sci-ﬁ or apocalyptic movie. Some roads seemed never-ending while some stopped dead with no explanation. The sentence ‘ Let’s go to Bosnia Herzegovina!’ led us right into a dead end where some wire in front of us marked the border. At that point we decided to turn around and go somewhere else. It can be exhausting living from day to day not having a plan, but it makes you improvise; you make quick decisions and move on. You only want and need what is in front of you. It allows you to see places you never thought you’d go.

‘WE CUT OURSELVES OFF FROM CIVILISATION INTO A DIMINISHED SPEED OF LIFE. NO GPS, NO MOBILES, NO AIMS. IT’S JUST US, OUR BIKES, A TENT AND A ROUGH DIRECTION’ After a month and a half Skye went further south and I took a ferry to Italy. When I think about that part of the trip the ﬁrst thing that pops up in my mind is how much more intense situations can be when you’re alone. Moments, when wild pigs came too close; sandstorms kept me from pitching my tent or when I ran out of money in the Alps, quite gave me a shock. At the same time I can’t stop smiling, as I think of all the people I met in those situations. The people who welcomed me to their homes and offered help in any way they could. I never felt as if I had to give them something back. Everyone seemed to be happy to just become part of my adventure. An older couple, who invited me in, told me that when they were young they had many plans to travel and see the world,

but never had the opportunity to do so. Now they feel as if they need to catch up with the lost dreams of their younger selves. The one thing I get from putting together the pieces of the experience together is the feeling of entire freedom. Not following the flow of a society. No madness of technologies. No hectic lifestyle. It’s about finding out that there are no limits which can’t be pushed further. It’s about valuing small things – which you usually forget about. It’s about submitting yourself to nature and learning skills, which are now done by technologies. It is about not knowing what comes next. It’s about the magic of random experiences.

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TRAVEL

IRELAND OVER THE POND The key ingredients of the most successful holidays and impromptu city breaks often include: great company, amazing food, beautiful scenery, brilliant nights out and speaking the local language. As most students’ budgets are not exotic destination friendly, Northern Ireland is a happy middle-ground: from Dundee, you travel for long enough that it feels you’ve left the UK and traversed the world twice, but you’re really only 11 miles away from Scotland; plus low-cost plane tickets can add up to less than £60 for a return. Hostels charge about £20-30 per night, but having friends living in the boisterous student district helps. Depending on what you’re interested in, Belfast has a lot to offer. Culture vultures and music aficionados will be keen on seeing Ulster Hall, where Led Zeppelin first performed ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and the monumental Titanic Quarter, an open-air homage to the legendary cruise-liner. Adventurers might prefer visiting Crumlin Road Gaol, the only Victorian-era prison remaining in Northern Ireland. The Botanic Gardens, the Ulster Museum and the City Hall all feature among the most popular

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tourist destinations, but one should not miss the quaint vintage shops hidden around the student quarter, between numerous whimsical pubs and quirky cafes. And if you’ve made the effort to disembark on the Emerald Isle, a visit down to Dublin is highly recommended. It’s a 2h30min bus journey that takes you to the most ‘continental’ part of the island. It feels abstractly British, yet it has the Euro, with a lot of confusion ensuing. But Dublin boasts many tourist attractions, from the grounds of Trinity College (whose student cafe probably serves the most watery curry in Europe), to

JULIE KANYA

the sculpture of ‘sweet Molly Malone’. And if running about all of the National Galleries gets tiring, it’s best to relax in the Hard Rock Cafe or many of the delightful little cafes/bakeries that reign over the riverside. In a nutshell, a visit to Northern Ireland and the Republic is a marvelous getaway if you need to escape Scotland for a few days. Different enough to spark your interest, but familiar enough to keep you grounded, this island is an eclectic mix of the modern and the traditional. Might you be a backpacking adventurer, or a Hawaiianshirted tourist, a trip here will surely be one to remember.

‘THIS ISLAND IS AN ECLECTIC MIX OF THE MODERN AND THE TRADITIONAL’

LIFESTYLE

7 SAVIOURS TO SOOTHE THE HANGOVER

ALEX ALPIN

We all know the only real cure for a hangover is moderation, but let’s be serious, no good night out began with ‘during my pint of water in between shots...’

ONE

FOUR

SIX

The Obvious: Water

Bananas

Water is a must. Before passing out at night, downing a 500ml bottle of water will ease your dehydrated body and hopefully allow you to wake up feeling somewhat fresh(er).

Sometimes a greasy takeaway is all too much. For a lighter option, try bananas. Bananas provide potassium, which you lack from drinking, as well as being high in natural antacid which will help with that morning after spew. They are also high in magnesium which can relax blood vessels putting an end to that pounding headache.

The Herbal Remedy Milk of Thistle

TWO Painkillers Headache still pounding? Paracetamol is your best bet. Hit the corner shop; although facing the outside world may be a frightful prospect, the fresh air will help along the way.

THREE The 3am Scran Walking home at 3am is not the time for calorie counting. Give up and give in. Eating increases metabolism, activating alcohol absorption and increasing the speed at which the body processes alcohol. Eating after a night out is never a bad call. Get the pizza number out. Take that familiar detour home. You know it.

‘There is always an episode of Breaking Bad waiting to be watched’

FIVE Sprite A study published in the September 2013 issue of Food and Function showed that chemicals in the non-caffeinated drink can break the next day symptoms of a good night. The study showed that Sprite speeds up the body’s process of breaking down alcohol, effectively shortening the awful aftermath that you may be facing.

Milk of thistle is a proven herbal remedy to cure hangovers. Just a few drops in a glass of water before you fall asleep and then a few drops in each glass of water you drink the following day is supposed to be the ultimate cure! Slightly pricey but potentially worth it if you suffer from horrendous hangovers. It costs £4.99 for 30ml at Holland & Barrett or £9.99 for 30 capsules at Boots.

SEVEN If All Else Fails Back to Bed There is always an episode or two of Breaking Bad waiting to be watched!

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LIFESTYLE

reader offers:

LIBERTY HOUSE DANIELLE AMES

erched in the comfy salon chair, my gaze drifted out the wall of windows coating the entrance to The Liberty House. I’d walked past The Liberty House many a time, mostly on treks up the Perth Road when I wake up feeling hipster and wanting to hit the charity shops. It’s an attractive salon, with big sofas and modern brick walls covered in picture frames and ceiling-length grafﬁti wall art. Along one wall stands a rack of unique clothes for sale in outrageous colours, lending a boutique feel to the room. A chirpy playlist ﬁ lled the shop, creating a bit of a beauty refuge from the stormy day outside.

It was a busy afternoon, and judging by the hum of gossip that ﬁ lled the small studio, everybody seemed to know each other. The beautician set to work on my eyebrows, her own eyebrows easily passing the test; being both symmetrical and existent, so I allowed myself to relax. She waxed, plucked, trimmed, threaded, tweezed, and tinted. All in an efﬁcient, gentle manner. I know pain is beauty, but when it comes to all the sore stuff, I’m a massive wimp. Refreshingly enough, it didn’t hurt at all, not even the bit where she was coming right at my face with the q-tip of melting hot wax.

The HD eyebrow treatment lasts for a month solid, so you can virtually ignore the bit below your fringe for thirty days. Afterwards, she held up a glitzy hand mirror for me to inspect. The verdict stands; I actually have a pair of eyebrows, and with all due respect, a pretty good pair at that! Who would have known? The best part? I wake up in the morning with perfect eyebrows. While the rest of my face resembles Munch’s, ‘The Scream’ (you with me ﬁ ne art students?) my eyebrows are a thing of sculpted beauty.

OFFER 20% off hair and beauty treatments at The Liberty House with this advert throughout November.

Photography: Samuel Hill

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LIFESTYLE

BENJAMIN BARKER HARRISON KELLY

eople regularly tell me I need a haircut, and act puzzled when I reply that I’m too terrified. Apparently there’s no psychological term for fear of barbershops, so my ‘phobia’ claims fall on unsympathetic ears. Whenever I eventually bite the bullet I tend to get a one-millimetre buzz cut. Then I let my hair grow to obnoxious lengths – the Ian Brown look – often lasting months before grudgingly returning. This aversion is deep-seated. As a child my hair was cut by my mum’s friend, as per her optimistic idea that I would ‘playdate’ with her unruly kids afterwards. Every four weeks I’d sit wondering if I’d be made to eat dog poo at knife-point again, while she snipped at the hair protruding from the pudding bowl on my head. When I grew older, and the bowl cut made me look like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber, mum fi nally agreed to involve a professional. She sent me to a local barber, telling me to choose ‘something sensible’. I returned with a mullet, which she rectified with meat-scissors. A new barber was decided, the ominously-

named ‘Chop Shop’, whose proprietor Shaun looked like Josef Stalin. Shaun would wash my hair in Fairy Liquid and rant about “rip-off Britain” before charging me (a ten-year old) £15 for a crew cut so lop-sided it looked sewn on. Once he even asked where I lived, in case I dared ‘run off without paying’. ‘It’s hard to imagine a better barbershop in Dundee’

When I moved to Dundee, recommendations led me to Benjamin Barker, a charismatic New York-style barbershop on Perth Road. Established by Keith Langslow and Jeff Thompson in January 2011, the store provides male grooming without charging wallet-busting rates. Unlike most quality hairdressers, there’s no appointment necessary. What’s more, the store is a photographer’s wet dream; the white walls are adorned with tasteful artwork and memorabilia. Something always steals the attention, making the wait seem momentary; whether it’s the antelope, the frankly perplexing British Rail arrows sign, the generous assortment of newspapers and high-end

magazines, or the relaxing yet trendy playlist that placates customers and employees alike. Many brands laughably try to market themselves as ‘hip’ but very few, especially independent businesses, court as much kudos as Benjamin Barker. With a signature perfect cut, tailored uniquely to each customer, staff as welcoming as they are skilled at haircutting and a complimentary beer if you turn up at the right time of day, it’s hard to imagine a better barbershop in Dundee.

Photography: Samuel Hill

OFFER £10 haircut at Benjamin Barkers with this advert throughout November.

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CURRENT AFFAIRS

NEW POPE NEW ERA Euan Forbes

arlier this year the world’s media descended on Rome for the ordination of Pope Francis, the 266th Pope of the Catholic Church. For many, that day brought hope that there would be widespread reform in the church’s rules and views on various issues, such as homosexuals, and women’s role within the church. Six months on, how is Pope Francis different to the previous pontiff Benedict XVI? While there has been no actual change in church rules as yet, there is a visible change in the church’s attitude. In recent interviews with various media outlets, Pope Francis seems more relaxed towards a few issues the church viewed as controversial. On homosexuality, the pope said: ‘We shouldn’t marginalise [homosexual] people for this...they must be integrated in society.’ This is in sharp contrast to the view of the past pontiff who sparked controversy when, in an address, said that gay marriage threatened the traditional family unit and ‘the future of humanity itself ’. On women in the church, Pope Francis has not changed anything yet, but expressed that women are essential to the church and that the role of women in the church should be investigated. Previously Pope Benedict said women were important but outright reafﬁrmed the church’s ban on women priests.

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‘WE SHOULDN’T MARGINALISE [HOMOSEXUAL] PEOPLE FOR THIS...THEY MUST BE INTEGRATED IN SOCIETY.’ Furthermore, Pope Francis’s predecessor would only take carefully vetted questions during interviews, whereas recently Pope Francis has gave some interviews answering any question posed by the media. This possibly represents a growing openness of the Catholic Church under the new Pope. The American author Mark Twain once said ‘actions speak louder than words’. While it may be a while before we see any actions being taken, it is clear that the Catholic Church’s new leader may be preparing to integrate it with twenty-ﬁrst century society.

CURRENT AFFAIRS

ew international standards on the cross-border trade of conventional weapons are finally in sight. The UN’s Arms Trade Treaty (ATT) has been signed by 133 UN member states, but not ratified yet. If ratified and entered into force, the ATT would establish a transnational legallybinding framework, in which participating member states will need to exercise stricter regulations on global arms trade. The purpose is to prevent destabilizing flows of conventional weapons into conflict regions. The landmark decision for the ATT was adopted on the 2nd April 2013, after 156 member states voted for the resolution 61/89 at the UN general assembly, whereas countries including Iran, Syria and North Korea voted in opposition. However, major armsexporting countries Russia and China abstained. In September, the US Secretary of State signed the transnational agreement, alongside 16 other UN member states.

The international community responded positively to US involvement, mainly due to its role as the world’s leading arms dealer. Today’s arms industry is a multibillion dollar business operating on an international scale. According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, global sales of conventional weapons accounted for $43 billion in revenue in 2011 alone. The major six beneﬁciaries are the P-5 of the UN Security Council – USA, Russia, UK, France and China – as well as Germany. These six countries together are accountable for around three quarters of global arms exports. Today, developing countries are the biggest recipients of arms transfers. India is currently top importer of military equipment, purchasing 10% of total exports. In particular, South Eastern and Central Asian countries became major recipients of arms deliveries between 2008 and 2012, with a

global volume of 32%. While most commodities of international trade are subject to comprehensive regulations, conventional weapons remain largely unregulated and therefore occupy a moral and legal vacuum. Irresponsible trade of weapons between nations is still enabled through legal loopholes penetrating international law, as well as great power politics. Amnesty International estimate that small ﬁrearms annually cause over 500,000 casualties worldwide, whereas countless people are displaced or abused as a direct consequence of violent conﬂicts. Armed disputes naturally increase demand for military equipment – lucrative opportunities for manufacturers to strike multi-billion dollar contracts are commonplace in the context of humanitarian misery. It is an overarching issue across the international community that needs to be addressed in order to ensure greater security and stability.

Bela Herting

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CURRENT AFFAIRS

RENATIONALISE OUR RAILWAYS Nationalisation. There. I said it. The ravens remain within the Tower; no Soviet hordes have erupted from the crimson abyss; and, at time of writing, no sightings of a reanimated Karl Marx pottering around Highgate Cemetery have reached us yet. Renationalisation is an idea that has been so demonised over the last three decades that one would be forgiven for assuming it was the cardinal sin of economic theory. I merely want to make the case for renationalising one particular industry: our railways. I don’t intend to preach to the converted; rather to persuade the more conservative reader.

t’s no secret that Britain’s railways have suffered since Major’s government privatised them in 1993. While other European railways have grown faster, greener, more effective, timelier, and still have managed to stay reasonably affordable under state-ownership, ours have gone the opposite way. Privatisation involved splintering National Rail and selling it off

to various monopolies, and has resulted in an almost 33% hike in ticket prices. Obviously a private company is run in the interests of its shareholders rather than the public, and so price increases could be seen as the inevitable result of privatisation. But there are many other issues that have contributed to this increase. The wastage caused by splintering off the railways into

various monopolies amounts to a staggering £1.2 billion every year. To put that into perspective: that’s enough to reduce the average ticket price by 20%. Nor has privatisation delivered the innovation that that neoliberal theorists assured us it would. The reason is simple; there is no real competition. Unlike other free market industries, once a private company has secured the contract for a rail line, there is no incentive to lower prices or improve services. It’s not as if I dander into a train station and think, “Well, Scotrail are running a lovely train to Edinburgh today, but look at the value on this Virgin line deal to Newcastle!” I need to get to a set location and have no choice but to pay whatever price is set. This allows companies to maximise proﬁts: increasing ticket prices and minimising the cost of providing the service.

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CURRENT AFFAIRS Not only is privatisation bad for customers, but it fails in its objective to save government money. The state still owns the actual rails that carriages ride on, and is responsible for the constant repairs they require. The only part of the railways that was privatised was the part that makes loads of money. The expensive part is still paid for by the taxpayer. The private rail companies pay a measly rate to operate on the lines which doesn’t even cover the bill for repairs per year. So the ever-generous government actually subsidises these companies. Slaughtering the hen that lays golden eggs springs to mind. The idiocy of this policy is so astounding that one might soundly accuse the government of deliberate economic mismanagement at the expense of taxpayer and passenger, for the beneﬁt of private companies. Instead of state-ownership of this

lucrative industry, we see statesponsorship of private companies that siphon off the proﬁt to their shareholders.

“

Not only is privatisation bad for customers, but it fails in its objective to save government money. Well, that last bit isn’t entirely true. Not all of the companies are private. Germany’s state-owned rail company Deutsche Bahn and France’s SNCF have won many of these contracts, charging the UK customer much more per ticket than the equivalent price a German or French customer would pay, to subsidise their own service. So, you can take pride knowing that through your train ticket, you’re keeping the German rail industry amongst the best in the world.

Not all UK routes are privatised. After two private companies walked out on a contract to provide service for part of the East Coast mainline which runs all the way from Inverness and Aberdeen to London, the state was forced to intervene. The resulting state-owned company, Directly Operated Railways, receives less government subsidies than the private companies, and has also proved to be a tidy earner for the public purse too. Needless to say, the Government intends to reprivatise East Coast as quickly as possible to prevent further embarrassment. The miserable failure of National Rail’s privatisation is obvious; but so is the solution. A nationalised rail service will be better for the taxpayer, better for the passenger, and better for the state.

Kevin Burns

ISSUE 38 15

FEATURES

hen it comes to dating, the question my friends seem to be asking the most is, “Is it silly to wait to for someone nice?” I really hope not. In a world where there seem to be fewer dating ‘norms’, where people seem to be constantly selling themselves short, it’s not hopeless but it is hard. They are out there – buried somewhere underneath the unreturned phone calls and the ‘friend zone’. I ﬁ rmly believe that we never give people the chance to be ‘nice’. Letting someone pay the bill is not going to kill you. I know, I was surprised too. Even if it’s just coffee, rather than steak and champagne. People can’t be chivalrous if you don’t give them the chance. I always worry that, as students, can people really afford to do this or think that they have to, but I have learnt that if people don’t want to do something they won’t offer to do it. Then there’s the feared M word. The question we all dread to ask. Monogamy is ok to ask for. It may not be for everyone but if it’s for you then you have to make clear what you want. Ask the other person how they feel about it and be careful not to put words into their mouth. Most of the time you’ll be pleasantly surprised by their response.

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Sometimes the best place to ﬁ nd a nice person is right under your nose. The friend zone does not exist. Why do we put people in the friendzone? Because they’re nice people. Don’t start dating all of your friends, but if you do have that guilty crush, then perhaps you should act on it. Just saying. We often judge people too quickly or think ourselves inferior to each other. At the end of the day it all boils down to effort. We can all be self-centered and lazy sometimes and we can all be charming and good fun. You need to remember that, just as we have bad days, other people do too. If you met someone and you’re genuinely not sure - give them a second chance, you have nothing to lose from it. Most importantly, if you don't like going out, then you’re unlikely to meet someone “nice” because they are probably doing what you wanted to which was stay at home in your onesie, watching old reruns and eating cereal out of the box. Equally if you love a night out - get your gladrags on and don’t give up hope. Don’t ever sell yourself short when it comes to your personal life - something good is always just around the corner. You just have to keep walking to ﬁ nd it.

Lottie Haley-Lee

FEATURES

Dance Floor Etiquette G

eordie Shore has a lot to answer for. It epitomises our generation’s ‘dance floor culture’. We drink till we’re drunk; we see, we want, we take. Pharrell said it best - ‘We’re up all night to get lucky’. This culture can be fun, but lately my nights out have been ruined by an epidemic I refer to as ‘ass-grabbing syndrome’. It started with the ‘Any Hole is a Goal’ mantra, once to be mocked but now standard Saturday-night ‘lad’ tactics. Those infected see a person they want, and grab. Any available body part will apparently do; ass, waist, wrists, even faces. The dance floor crowds are ideal hunting ground as actions are covered by the pushing and loud music. It makes this increasingly threatening since, upon encountering an unwanted grabber, it’s hard to let your reaction be known. Although only a small number of our population are ‘infected’, it’s starting to undermine our dance floor culture which is based entirely on liberation from social restraints. The sexual freedom we’re supposed to be enjoying is not true freedom without respect and consent, both of which ‘ass-grabbing syndrome’ rejects. To counter its effects we need to re-educate ourselves on some basic rules of social interaction. Communication is vital. Your success rate will be a lot higher if, before going for the ass-grab, you follow some simple steps; make eye contact, or exchange a smile. Non-physical contact fi rst, and then try dancing with, not on that person. Twerking isn’t the way to introduce yourself to a stranger.

‘The dance floor isn’t exempt from normal rules of harassment.’ If you encounter an unwanted ass-grabber, try to make your ‘no’ heard even if the music drowns you out. Ignore them, turn your back, and don’t respond. Let them know if they get inappropriate. If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, let the bouncers know. To all the ass-grabbers out there, try to imagine how you would respond to the behaviour you are indulging in if you saw it any other environment. You’re on a crowded train, you witness a man cornering a woman he doesn’t know, pulling at her wrists to force her closer. How would you react? The dance floor isn’t exempt from normal rules of harassment. It may be dark and crowded, we may all be dancing together, but that doesn’t mean normal rules of boundaries and consent don’t apply. Grabbing someone in a sexually aggressive manner, in an environment where it’s difficult to react, is not harmless fun. We live in a time and country where it is almost impossible not to know about, and believe in, active consent. A ‘no’ is a ‘no’ everywhere, a ‘yes’ is a ‘yes’ everywherethe dance floor included. We all know this, isn’t it time we started showing it?

Claire McPhillimy ISSUE 38 17

FEATURES Dominic Younger

Freedom from the Free Press?

oing little to counter political apathy, underwriting public institutions and scooping private lives; these are all signs that the press is gradually drying up, but still it clings to scandal after scandal. Readership has fallen over the last 20 years, with internet subscriptions keeping most magazines afloat. Regional papers now compete with tweets and continuous feeds. Tabloids seem willing to do whatever it takes to get a story. In this context, it seems pertinent to ask what we really mean when we say ‘free press’. There are valid reasons why the press should be six feet under, but there’s still something nostalgic, some primordial gratification from reading a paper on public transport, ripping out articles of interest (and also occasionally for tinder). Unlike the internet with its dubious authorship, we still trust the press, and its freedom is part and parcel of that illusion. Print media, from journals to glam-rags, instils temporary ownership and belonging; we become affiliated, even loyal, to the ink. Yet with stringent and zealous fervour, factions of the British Government call to end self-regulation of the ‘free press’ in the wake of the phone hacking scandal. However, this sounds like the beginning of a death toll. As Alex Salmond has illustrated, all governments want to show that they can ‘fit that balance between the expectations of the public and the essential freedom of the press’. That said, papers are always embroiled within political feuds. Take The Guardian, up to its neck in an international legal battle over Snowden, or The Telegraph, years ago, breaking the MP’s expenses scandal.

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Compare these with Murdoch’s News of the World which was caught phone hacking its way into members of the public’s private lives; one might say the press has achieved nationwide scaremongering. Every inch of the private life has become a newsworthy story; from diets to household budgets. The tabloid press has been forced, by declining audiences, the emergence of viral media and instantaneous news updates, to annex the lives of their own kind, the people. Even national broadsheets use tabloid tactics to embellish stories. The painful death of the press is sinking in, so read this space and pick up a paper from time to time, as this art is on its way out.

Tabloids seem willing to do whatever it takes to get a story

FEATURE

Lauren Jean Findlay

Who loves orange soda? All together now ‘Kel loves orange soda.’ I’m sure everyone will agree when I say let’s bring back Kenan and Kel! These two will always be the original comedy double-act, and who could forget those unique French lessons by Pierre Escargot in a bathtub in Paris.

You sent notes, not texts Whether it was love notes, best friend notes or ‘snide remarks about the teacher’ notes, life was so much more fun when our messages could include their own doodled illustration of life.

Gooey alien toys They were slimy, they were sticky and they were aliens! What more could a nine-year-old ask for? Remember the one that got stuck on your roof ? Classic.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Nobody can resist ﬁnishing the following: ‘In West Philadelphia born and raised…’ Even now Will Smith is still one of our most-loved (and desired) actors. Now get up, stick on some Tom Jones and show us the Carlton dance!

You smoked chocolate cigarettes If only these could control our cravings we would have healthy lungs and a tasty treat. Thinking about it now, giving fake cigarettes to children so they could pretend to smoke (and look cool) was not the best idea ever...

You played heads down thumbs up The second most fun thing to do with your thumbs as a kid (playing Game Boy being the ﬁrst). Admit it, we all had a sneak peak of the person’s shoes as a cheat tactic.

You had the top score at Snake, not candy crush With no internet and no apps, the main use of your mobile (probably a Nokia 3310) was moving a line on your screen to eat dots. Technology was as simple as peas.

Those shocking fashion moments Who cared what you looked like as a child, kicking around in your new jelly shoes, showing off your blow-up backpack or just rocking pigtails Britney style. We’ve all realised the horror of these looks yet we can’t say we don’t secretly miss them.

Noel Edmonds was Mr. Blobby’s sidekick Probably the weirdest TV show invented, nobody had a clue what Blobby was saying, or what he actually was, but we adored him (or else were shit scared of him). Either way Noel will forever remind us of Blobby.

Michael Jackson was black! Someone had to say it.

ISSUE 38 19

FASHION

Lauren Brand

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FASHION Strut Your Stuff, Sundae Girl

Sherbet Shade

Kiss goodbye to your blistered toes from tottering around in skyscraper heels, and jump (literally) for joy - your flat shoe saviour has arrived! It’s about time dress flats were in the spotlight! As well as being undeniably comfortable, this new flat is anything but boring, with metallic sneaks, tailored brogues, patent loafers and - wait for it - sporty trainers (bet you thought they’d never leave your gym bag!).

This month we’re taking on a new autumnal twist to our wardrobe by adding candyfloss pinks, pastel hues and sherbet shades (mint, lemon & bubblegum) to our dark and quite frankly, depressing winter ensembles. Make your knitwear bright and feminine with texture and embellishment this season to achieve this girly look. For an effortless on-trend look, stick to fluffy and knitted-fi nish jumpers teamed with a check kilt, or just jeans if you aren’t feeling adventurous enough. New Look have a varied selection of affordable jumpers at the moment. Don’t be scared to ditch your black wardrobe staples- an oversized coat and cami top are easy to wear. Topshop and Miss Selfridge have some great comfortable key pieces in this season’s hottest candyfloss colours!

Metro Velvet Lace Up Shoes, Topshop - £28.00

Beige Cut Out Tassle Loafers, New Look - £27.99

Nike Blazer (nike.com) - £85

Check Chiffon Midi Kilt, Topshop - £48.00

Silver Quilted Plimsolls, River Island - £20.00

Pink Embellished Knitted Jumper, New Look - £29.99

Sugar Rush Get your sugar rush with ice cream shades and candy colours while accessorizing this season. A statement jewelled necklace and a warm beanie extend the girly look by adding a touch of fruity pastels to a minimalist, feminine look. Shop for these cute colours in high street shops such as Topshop, New Look and Accessorize. If you’re planning to make one splurge this month then this necklace from Asos is our recommendation! Asos Jewelled Necklace - £60.00

Pink & Gold hinged Triangle Earrings, New Look - £4.99

Premium boyfriend coat, Topshop – £125.00

Pop of Pastel Candy pastel shades aren’t limited to your clothes, you can add them to your beauty regime too! Give your nails a pamper with a pop of pastel, this bubblegum blue shade from Topshop looks amazing on any skin tone. It’s a 90’s throwback for your lips ladies – we’re talking Gwen Stefani and Drew Barrymore style! Its ultra ﬂattering and wearable – day or night this look must be tried! Big hair don’t care? Give your hair a bit of oomph whether you want sleek locks or a messy do, volume is key.

Mohair Beanie Hat, Urban Outﬁtters - £20.00 ‘Bashful’, Topshop nails - £5.00

17 Supreme Shine Lipstick in ‘Barely Blush’ and ‘Bella’ - £4.99

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FASHION Makeup How-To Guide

The Perfect Smokey Eye by Kathryn McKnight Photos by Samuel Hill

If, like me, you have tried to recreate a smokey eye à la Kim Kardashian to only end up looking like you’ve been punched in the face, then this guide’s for you. I can’t be the only one who has tried for hours to copy a tutorial by some beauty guru on YouTube, only to fail miserably. On a student budget it’s too difﬁcult to buy the ridiculous amount of makeup and brushes needed for many of the tutorials. That’s why we’ve come up with a simple guide for a quick and easy brown smokey eye that will get rid of the dreaded panda eye once and for all, and make you look absolutely, well, smokin’.

ide... Step Gu y b p te S

With a clean brush, take a warm brown eye shadow and pack it on all over the eyelid.

Using the same brush, take a darker brown eye shadow in a sideways ‘V’ shape on the outer corner to deﬁ ne the eye.

Next, take the same warm brown eye shadow again and bring it underneath the eye.

Pack a very light eye shadow onto the inner corner of the eye to create a brightening effect.

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Take a clean blending brush and blend the ‘V’ into the crease.

Pop on some eyeliner and mascara and voila!

FASHION . sult.. nal re The fi

Smokey Eye Do’s and Don’ts • DO remember the 3 B’s. Blend, blend, blend! • DO prep the eyelid with an eye primer to make the eye shadow last all day long! • DO leave the under eye concealer until after you’re done to get rid of any fallout! • DON’T be afraid to stray from neutral colours! • DON’T go too heavy on the lips! • DON’T forget to highlight the inner corner of your eye to make your eyes appear bigger and brighter!

ISSUE 38 23

FASHION

Stop, Collaborate and Listen Leona Reid

here’s breaking news in the fashion world this month as Topshop anticipates the gloriﬁed return of supermodel Kate Moss to the high street brand. It’s been three years since she’s graced us with her collaborative presence and, if she has her way with us, her next range, due Spring 2014, will be a hit with the fashion-conscious public once again.

But what do we style-savvy shoppers think of collaborations in general? Is it worth paying that bit extra just because an anointed celeb’s name is on the label? Well, if you ask any one of the 2,000 women who queued up for the launch of Kate Moss’ ﬁ rst range in 2007, the answer will probably be ‘how could you even ask such a thing, you ignorant bitch?’

‘So, obviously collaborating with a household name is well in the interests of any retailer.’ I suppose it depends how you feel about the celebrity in question. If you’re dedicated enough, you’d buy toilet bleach with their name on it. When Atomic Kitten collaborated with BHS ten years ago, I genuinely felt like an honorary member when I wore their clothes. It was magical. I didn’t really care if what I was wearing looked good or not, I was a Kitten, and that was all that mattered. So I can totally sympathise with Kate Moss fans, even if their thought process goes something like this: ‘OMG KATE MOSS DESIGNED THIS WHICH MEANS KATE MOSS IS TECHNICALLY MY PERSONAL STYLIST AND THAT MEANS WE’RE GOING TO MEET AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS.’ I get it, really I do. Kate Moss isn’t the only one jumping aboard the collaboration band wagon, Rihanna for River Island was launched just a few months ago and it has already been a great success in boosting the retailer’s proﬁts and making it a more recognisable brand.

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So much so, that it’s considering more international expansion options (snaps for River Island). So, obviously collaborating with a household name is well in the interests of any retailer. But what about the rest of us, who are neither shareholders, nor emotionally invested? What does the unbiased third party have to say? Basically, if the clothing is reasonably priced, up to date on current trends, and still brings a unique ﬂavour of that celebrity’s personal style, then bring it on. Otherwise, get lost you designer wannabe. It is as simple as that. And if by any remote chance an exmember of Atomic Kitten is reading this, then girls; it’s time for a comeback.

ENTERTAINMENT

STEAM MACHINE More Advanced Than You Might Think Struan Fraser As a digital distribution platform, Steam has been dominating the PC gaming market for years and it shows no signs of slowing down. Steam Machine is a new console coming out in early 2014 based on PC hardware and running Steam’s new SteamOS. The interesting thing

about this console is that Valve, the company who created Steam, are actively encouraging people to hack it. This begs the question, how are they going to brand this, what is it going to bring that other consoles won’t, and most importantly, who the feck’s going to buy it?

Valve are trying to create the ﬁrst consistent gaming experience over every device in the home. If they can deliver highspec service to lowend devices then the Steam Machine could be a game changer. We’ve already been given a peek at the new controller which uses trackpads instead of thumbsticks allowing for greater ﬁdelity and a touchscreen that changes dynamically with the game. If there is going to be no singular design for the console, I can see the controller holding the brand together. Valve claim that Steam Machine can already run hundreds of games natively and will run others through “in-home streaming.” If we are to go by the beta release, it would appear that

you need another computer with Steam on it that will allow you to stream from a compatible system in your own home. Now this part is speculation, but it looks like Valve are trying to create the ﬁ rst consistent gaming experience over every device in the home. I can see it becoming a gaming server for your phone, your tablet, your TV or possibly even your e-reader. If they can deliver high-spec service to lowend devices, the Steam Machine could be a game changer.

To begin with, it’s not going to be making waves in Sony or Microsoft’s market-share but I can see a few PC gamers buying one, if only to use their Steam Library in their living room rather than their ofﬁce. If Valve are then able to capitalise on other technologies like the “Oculus Rift” and the “Omni”, well I wouldn’t even need to think about it.

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ENTERTAINMENT

Lorde LIYL: The Weeknd, Chvrches, Lana Del Ray. Start with: ‘Royals’, ‘White Teeth Teens’, ‘Team’.

Lorde is New Zealand’s synthpop answer to Birdy, except grungier, and with enough self-conﬁdence to diplomatically yet tenaciously turn down Katy Perry’s offer to tour with her. This action alone show’s that, although young, Lorde’s no noob. The 16-year-old’s career BOOMED in her homeland. Alas, we can be a little slow on the uptake in the UK if an artist isn’t down the street or across the pond. Her 2012 EP ‘The Love Club’ - which included global #1 track ‘Royals’ – was never released here. However, her debut album ‘Pure Heroin’ just released iTunes and I’m expecting it to explode.

‘one easy addiction’ Each track is economically arranged;

underplayed beats and simple-yet-enduring melodies get absorbed so effortlessly by your veins that you ﬁnd yourself in a trance-like rhythm. Lorde is one easy addiction.

I saw Alessi supporting The Mountain Goats early in October. She came on stage in a pixie tunic and thick tights, holding a cup of tea, introduced her bassist as her “pal Tim” and concluded her set by saying, “that was lovely if not a bit chilly”. She is literally the most British thing I’ve ever seen. Literally. And God, what a delightful human. She’s a master of the small touches and delicate tones of folk music; just listen for the bird callings, whistles, harp strings and ukeleles. Alessi’s lyrics make elegant musings about the world. Though gentle, she still gets under your skin.

‘she still gets under your skin’

She even came down to sell her own merch which was captivatingly displayed in an old, blue leather suitcase. Not only did she have vinyl as well as her cd’s, she was selling embroidered wallets and cross-stitch patterns that she had made herself. Her lyrics and little fascismiles like peonies and ships and birds were stitched into them. AND, if you bought something from her, she gave you hand-knitted bags to take your product away in! I totally fell in love with this girl. I want to put her in my pocket and skip off into Neverland and live a cutie-pie ever after.

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Alessi’s Ark LIYL: Regina Spektor, Of Monsters and Men, The Civil Wars. Start with: ‘The Horse’, ‘Magic Weather’ ‘Constellations’.

ENTERTAINMENT

Reasons The UK Loves Dr. Who (and you should too) Chris Gerrard

Doctor Who is a British television show about an alien who ﬁghts monsters and travels through time in a wooden box. It’s been on television for 50 years, shown at the cinema, featured in innumerable comedy parodies and words from it have even been added to the dictionary. So why on Earth do we Brits love this show?

‘...you’re not going to have to think about your taxes or essays for the next 45 minutes.’

IT’S NOT SCIENCE FICTION

Science Fiction stories are those in which every strange thing is explained with mountains of techo-babble and there are strongly deﬁned rules. Doctor Who is more of a fantasy show, for which you don’t need to have seen every episode to understand it.

IT’S FOR ALL THE FAMILY

Television is normally either for adults, ﬁlled with heavy concepts and swearing, or for children, with fun and fart jokes. Doctor Who is one of the rare shows and comfortably sits on the line of the two. It’s silly, but not at the expense of being smart. It’s scary, but not overly violent and appeals to every generation.

IT’S ALWAYS DIFFERENT

Who can follow a comedy about dinosaurs on a spaceship with a serious western? Well that’s Doctor Who. Anything can happen, any time and place can be visited and the cast is constantly changing. While most TV shows eventually get mired down with too-similar plots, Doctor Who is never the same, while still retaining enough continuity to keep you hooked until the end of the season.

IT’S PURE ESCAPISM

When the most terrible thing that could happen in a show is that some cyborgs that look like dustbins might turn up, you know that you’re not going to have to think about your taxes or essays for the next 45 minutes.

IT DOESN’T TAKE ITSELF TOO SERIOUSLY

This is the big one. The makers of Doctor Who know how silly its premise is, so it’s ﬁlled with over-the-top performances, mad villains and terrible jokes, anything that’ll make it more enjoyable to watch. It’s like an Escher painting: it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but that’s not really the point.

ISSUE 38 27

SOCIETIES

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW Historical Pursuits Rebecca Arnold

What are the membership costs? When and where does the society meet?

The society does not have a regular weekly meeting, however; we run regular events throughout the year of both a broad social and educational nature. These events consist of historical trips and tours; ﬁ lm screenings and lectures; as well as essay-writing and presentation salons. We also hold regular pub-crawls, pub quizzes and various other meet and greet/social evenings. Membership is only £1 for the entire year and the majority of our trips and events are free to all our members, so that £1 fee goes a long way! Do you have any events coming up this year? If so, what, when, where?

Yes, the History Society has lots of different events coming up over the next few weeks. Our main event this semester is a trip to Edinburgh, on Saturday

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9th November. While we are there we visit Edinburgh Castle and the National Museum of Scotland. We are also planning to hold another of our infamous pub quizzes on Thursday 28th November, where there will be lots of great prizes to be won! What does the social life of the society consist of?

The History Society runs several social events over the course of the year. Primarily, our ‘Meet and Greet/Pub Crawl’ and Pub quizzes provide our members with an opportunity to socialize. Although, there is a huge social dimension held within all of our events; as they bring like-minded students together through a common interest in history.

What advice would you give to a new member of your society, as well as anyone looking to join the society?

I would advise any new member of the society to take advantage of the low membership fee and attend as many events as possible. The events run by the society provide all members with an opportunity to further develop their historical knowledge as well as build up close relationships with both their peers and lecturers. We would love to see some new faces, so please feel free to come along to one of our upcoming events! If you’re interested in joining or just curious to see what we get up to, find us on Facebook!

SOCIETIES

Four Societies Dundee Needs Rebecca Shearer

20-Minute Society Once a week, a mass text would be sent out stating a random location and all society members have 20 minutes to get there. Points are awarded to those who are punctual and they can be redeemed for prizes at the end of the semester. Dundee could do with one of these societies; although, since it is such a small city, perhaps we would beneﬁt more from a ten-minute society. Or, maybe, we should consider a society where members are allocated a certain amount of time to complete a challenge and provide photographic evidence – such as ‘take a picture with a tourist’. Either way, there is deﬁ nitely a gap for this kind of society on campus. Harry Potter Society I know, by including this society in my list, I have probably just conformed to every societycliché imaginable. But Harry Potter made up a huge part of my childhood, so I am not letting go of this idea easily. So how about we honour our younger years by setting up a HP society? We could even go as far as our St Andrews neighbours and include an alcoholic beverage in the name. The Harry Potter and Gin Society. Where do I sign up?

Jailbreak Society

Motivational Society

This society has already been established at Warwick University, but could deﬁ nitely work here! The idea is for students to collect sponsors and spend a day or so getting as far away from the University as possible without spending any money. All sponsorship goes to a charity at the end of the semester. Apparently, one Warwick student blagged his way as far as Morocco via public transport!

Basically, society members spend their time instilling motivation, inspiration and conﬁdence in students across campus. It could take the form of posters placed around campus with various motivational quotes on them, arranging talks from motivational speakers, providing free hugs on campus green and making sure every student leaves them with a smile on their face. It sounds cheesy, but we all know the feeling students get around exam time, when we gorge ourselves on comfort food and spend the majority of our days in the library. A general good-feeling and motivation boost around campus would not go unappreciated!

‘The Harry Potter and Gin Society. Where do I sign up?’

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SPORT

aving never set foot on a snow slope in my life, I thought University would be a fun and cost-effective place to learn how to ski. The Fresher’s Fair pointed me towards Dundee University Ski and Snowboarding Club. DUSSC is one of the largest and liveliest snow sports clubs in Scotland; providing excellent opportunities to try out snowboarding and skiing. Aside from the sport, DUSSC put on regular social events, from the weekly Boudoir get-togethers, to large themed fundraisers, enabling its members to get to know each other… sometimes, perhaps a little too well. Step one of my journey to becoming a professional skier was to get involved in the trips up to Aberdeen for weekly ski lessons. The DUSSC committee organizes a variety of classes to cater for a range of abilities. If you are a complete novice like myself, or if you just fancy brushing up on some forgotten skills, Aberdeen lessons are for you. The lessons are followed by a traditional post-slope McDonalds and a bottle of wine for the journey back to Dundee; where the party continues.

DUSSC

Sporting Newbies - One Year On Susie McGowan

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After six weeks of honing my clumsy snowplow into an acceptable form of skiing, I was ready for the highlight of the DUSSC calendar: The Ski Trip. The holiday is a weeklong extravaganza of skiing, boarding and partying on the piste; what’s not to love? Nightly revelry punctuates the daily sessions on the slopes with events such as the famous Toga Party, Retro Ski Night and the brilliant Mountain Meal. The week leaves you exhausted, and the long return coach journey provides time to recharge your batteries and reﬂect on the whirlwind of a week you have just experienced. This year’s holiday in Tignes stands to be the biggest and best one yet, with over two hundred DUSSC members already signed up. If the lessons and ski holiday aren’t enough to satiate your appetite for snow sports, the club also participates in SUDS and BUDS, two competitions where members can compete in their chosen sport against other universities. These weekends aren’t limited to advanced members; novices can go along as spectators to cheer the competitors on to victory in the lightning fast racing and death defying freestyle.

SPORT

How The Other Half Play

ven if you wouldn’t describe yourself as ‘sporty’ chances are, over your time at Dundee University, you will use an ISE facility. Boasting acres of well-kept grounds at Riverside and a shiny new gym complex on campus, you are spoilt for choice; whether you’re someone who enjoys a leisurely swim, or one of those students who hits the cross trainer at 7am. Why, then, do we ﬁnd it so easy to complain? ‘It’s so far to the pitches.’ ‘The TV on my treadmill doesn’t work.’ ‘There was a plaster on the ﬂoor in the changing rooms.’ Sometimes, it takes exposure to stark poverty for us to realise how good we have it here. I visited Honduras a couple of years back. Located in Central America, it has the highest rate of murder in the world, driven by the rising poverty in both cities and mountain villages. As we stayed in a cloud forest, the organisation we travelled with employed local families as guides and chefs. In our free time, we enjoyed kickabouts with the men and teens. There was a dirt track pitch, two sticks for goals and a football of dubious quality. Although the set up was extremely casual, we were blown away by the speed, skill and stamina of the locals. They’d skip around us with ease, teasing us with the ball, all while wearing welly boots or even barefoot. Our years of training, matches, coaching camps and tournaments could do nothing to match their sheer raw talent; which had grown without a fraction of the cost.

Such simple items brought joy incomparable to the inevitable sneer they would be met with by a child in the UK. I am not trying to make you feel guilty, but maybe the next time you notice that the hockey sticks in the equipment shed have seen better days, focus on the fact that there’s someone your age who has never even held one half the standard, but who can still play the game better than you! Katharine Sharpe

It was a similar story volunteering in Moldova this summer. We ran children’s camps in desperately poor villages. A lot of activities were sport centred and no language barrier could confuse the pure hysteria expressed by the children when they saw skipping ropes, a ball - or the ultimate favourite - the parachuta. ISSUE 38 31

SPORT

Katharine Sharpe

REACH FOR THE

SKY At this year’s Sport’s Fayre, you may have noticed a table with a somewhat more outlandish title than the rest, nestled between skiing and squash: the Skydiving club. I remember my initial reaction: I’m sorry, club? Is voluntarily launching yourself out of a plane not more of a once-in-a-lifetime experience? Do they just pop down to Riverside twice a week, nip on a plane, freefall down to Earth at 100 mph and still get home for Great British Bake Off ? Being terriﬁed of heights I enquired no further. However, recently I had the chance to quiz Club Captain Tomasz Lipiec about the ins and outs of this extreme sport.

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SPORT So ﬁrst things ﬁrst; how did you get involved with skydiving?

Three years ago I was at some flat party where I met a guy who was Club Captain at the time. I guess I don’t have to mention I was a bit ‘under influence’, so joining the club seemed like a logical idea. The day after, I realised what I’d done (I’d paid the deposit) and had serious second thoughts, but decided to give it a try anyway. It was definitely the best drunken decision I’ve made! One jump was enough to get me hooked. How many dives have you been on?

So far, I’ve done 70-ish jumps. Have many of the people who sign up at Fresher’s ever dived before?

As far as I am aware, there were no people who threw themselves out of perfectly good planes before, but this is what we are here for. How often will you dive per semester?

It depends on the person. Despite the fact that skydiving is a heavily weather-dependent sport, we have a group of regulars who will go to the dropzone almost every weekend, regardless of the meteorological conditions; just to spend time there and chill out with other skydivers. If you can, sum up that Freefall Feeling in just three words…

Mega, super, awesome! Do you ever participate in charity dives?

Every year, usually at the beginning of second semester, we organize a charity skydiving event called ‘Dundee Fallout’. Look out for it!

What’s the scariest thing to happen at a dive?

For most of people, the scariest thing is their ﬁrst jump or ﬁrst freefall. Our dropzone is extremely strict when it comes to safety regulations, so the number of scary incidents are very low. The scariest thing for me, was my instructor’s answer to the question, “How long do we have to pull our reserve?” which was, “the rest of your life”. Would you like to ‘mythbust’ any safety concerns?

There are many myths about the sport, but few most important ones are: • Skydiving is safer than people think – we have better statistics than swimming or cycling! • Skydivers are (usually) normal, educated people • ‘No, you can’t wear “squirrel suit” on your ﬁrst jump’ Describe the social life away from the plane!

You could write a whole separate article about our social life. Just to give you a little ﬂavour: Imagine a 5m high pile of wooden pallets, covered in plane fuel and stuffed with ﬁreworks, lots of people and booze. For sure the best Guy Fawkes night of my life! There are quite a lot alcohol-free activities as well. We have climbing wall, quad and other cool things. If anyone is thinking about getting involved, tell them how!

You can get trained any Saturday you like! Just email us on skydiving@dundee.ac.uk So, whilst I’m not planning on switching my lacrosse stick for a parachute anytime in the near future, now that I know how accessible this sport really is I could maybe be convinced to attempt a dive sometime in my life. However, that’s a sizeable maybe.

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