Issue 45 - February 2015 by The Magdalen

ISSUE 45

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THE MAGDALEN

EDITOR’S LETTER A

ccording to Google, “What is love?” was the most searched phrase in 2012. In an age where one can buy a sex partner and even a marriage partner and where a South Sudanese man can marry a goat, this is perhaps a pertinent question. As the great Susan Sontag proclaimed ‘Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love.’ ‘The Love Special’ is our ﬁrst themed issue of the year where we discover, love in literature, ﬁlm and music. Not to worry though; we have much more to offer than sweetness and light. We will also explore the theme of love in all of its glorious forms with content ranging from 20 Shades of Valentines, to Comics and Pornography. Let us show you how to dress for yourself and not a lover, be crafty this Valentine’s day and establish the Science of Love. We are also thrilled to announce our launch event on the 10th of February in Air Bar. There will be Valentines themed decorations, a red carpet, a photo booth, a DJ and not to mention a range of delicious drinks. It is free entry for all and the perfect pre-Valentine’s celebration so not to be missed! On this note, dear reader, I will leave you to peruse your copy of the Magdalen and in the wise words of Earth Wind and Fire ‘Spread the love around’. As always, feel free to comment, submit and send any complaints to themagdalen@dusa.co.uk Adele Hamilton-Sturdy Deputy Editor

ISSUE #45 FEBRUARY 2015

EDITORS Editor-In-Chief Dominic Younger Deputy Editors Adele Hamilton-Sturdy Andrew Stewart Creative Director Juliet Wright Deputy Design Editor Kenny Meek Creative Writing Editor Kate McAuliffe Features Editor Kathryn McKnight Current Affairs Editor Euan Forbes Fashion Editor Leona Reid Lifestyle Editor Kate Lakie Entertainment Editor Kate McAuliffe Societies Editor Dominic Younger Art Editor

FRONT COVER: PHOTOGRAPHER – Michael Hunter Special thanks to Scott’s Brothers for sourcing our Pig Heart

CONTRIBUTORS Kathryn McKnight, Claire McPhillimy, Leona Reid, Cameron Rathie, Adele Hamilton-Sturdy, Euan Forbes, Caitlin Miller, Elizabeth Moss, Kate Lakie, Andrew Stewart, Emilie Balloux, Dominic Younger, Lori Petrie, Katie Jowett and Kate McAuliffe.

PRODUCTION Antonia Koutrouza, Ummi Jameel, Freya Bigg, Maha Ghani, Mollie Miller, Jodie Robb, Jill Montgomery, Andrew Stewart, Ross Grubb, Fabio Maragno, Andrew Simpson, Gemma Smith.

Kate McAuliffe

PUBLISHED BY Zuchaela Smylie, VPCC DUSA, Airlie Place Dundee, DD1 4PH vpcc@dusa.co.uk

PRINTED BY Winter & Simpson Print, 16 Dunsinane Avenue Dundee, DD2 3QT sales@wintersimpson.co.uk

THE MAGDALEN

CONTENTS CREATIVE WRITING 03

FEATURES

Le Maison Blanc

In Defence of Pornography

LIFESTYLE

100 First Dates

Crafty Ideas for Valentines Day

Recipe: Rice Krispie Cake

ENTERTAINMENT

FASHION 07

Dress to Impress

The Look of Love

20 Shades of… Valentines

Till Votes Do Us Part

The Price of Love

Stuff of the Month

Normal Love

SCIENCE

CURRENT AFFAIRS

Got Science?

Science and Love

Newton’s Law of Attraction

SOCIETIES 32

ART 15 16

ISSUE #45 FEBRUARY 2015

What’s Your Perfect Date?

The Lost Art of Love Letters Comics: The Sequential Art of Porn

RICE KRISPIE CAKE PAGE

NORMAL LOVE PAGE

CREATIVE WRITING

Le Maison Blanc Kate McAuliﬀe

You would know her house by the drawn blinds. The way thin shafts of light would illuminate the room with horizontal stripes, slicing the brightening clarity of the sun against the dulled scarlet glow from the stained glass lamp covers. This was a house where daylight was never welcome. Her’s was a house meant for the night. You would know her type by looking at her. A pale, powdered face cracked and cratered like the moon with curved, smiling lips, a crimson slit throat, leaking paint in channels down the white contours around her mouth, staining like beetroot. Her name is Malaina, but you don’t ask. In a Maison Tolérée there are no names. You could see the men lining the streets outside, brave knights told not to indulge without armour. They go there to seek comfort and pleasure inside her many red rooms. They pay less for maidens, looking instead for experience: women with more to spread than just their legs. They’re hoping for a chance to relieve themselves through someone else’s pain, avoiding the battleground in favour of white tents and bloodied beds. They want a night with Venus and a month of Mercury. Jars of quicksilver lined her shelves, gleaming with lunar malevolence; she hardly touched them; not when there was money to be made. You would not know her pain by her voice. Hissing hushed commands and singing sweet sentiments, in all the right ears. The quicksilver has rotted her teeth, leaving empty gaps like paths between decaying grave stones, falling at jutting angles and moss covered from neglect. Her voice was strong, but now you can hear it quiver. The war that had meant proﬁt had started to mean loss. She had herself a brave Hun before they drove him back, away from her. Now she serves men supposed to be her allies, who take her like the land they reclaimed. Later you would see a terracotta tiled roof and white wash walls. You might not know her house, were it not for the blinds still drawn, blocking out the day. ISSUE 45 3

LIFESTYLE

Crafty Ideas for

Valentines Day

ome money saving ways to get your loved ones something special this Valentines! Kate Lakie

Jar of Heart Notes!

site.com Image: thechic

Fill a jar with notes each with a different reason you love them or a great memory you share together written on them. You could do one to represent each day you’ve been together or one for every day of the year. It’s completely up to you and the best part is it requires very little money - just some time and effort.

Photo Book

Get some photos printed of the two of you together - you can often get them free online with websites such as Snapﬁsh.com, but it is not expensive to get printing done at Boots. Then, once you have collected all the photos you mean to use, buy a nice notebook from any stationers and with a little Prittstick and time, you can easily create a lovely memento of your relationship so far. You can add extra personal touches by writing little quotes or memories around the photos and decorate the pages by sticking other decorative things in such as old wrapping paper cut into heart shapes, pieces of ribbon tied in bows, glitter, buttons… any number of things lying around your ﬂat can be used for added artistry. If that all sounds a bit too much you can always order a photo book online. You simply upload photos you wish to use and write any messages you want and they print it all off for you in professional quality. This is a more pricey option but with sites like Photobox.com they often have money-off deals around popular occasions and it will save you a lot of time. Image: jackie

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ress.com

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LIFESTYLE

Love (Heart) Potion! A loving alternative to skittle vodka, why not use LoveHearts to make valentines themed alcoholic treat. Just let the sweets bathe in the vodka overnight and occasionally shake the mix to stop the foam which forms on the top from separating entirely from the vodka. Make sure to leave enough space in the bottle you are using otherwise it may ﬁzzle over.

You can even cut costs down by presenting the beverage in a re-used glass jar… also giving in that ‘hipster’ edge which is so ironically popular now. The only less appealing aspect with this love tipple is the colour; as the LoveHeart sweets are very light pastel shades, the result is not the most attractive shade of cloudy beige. To achieve a better aesthetic, add a splash of red food colouring to turn it to a more ﬂattering pink love potion.

Image: toasted-g

lass.blogspot.co .uk

with a little Prittstick and time you can easily create a lovely memento of your relationship so far.’

‘

Map of your Heart ! If you want something a bit more imaginative than simply printing out a picture of you and your loved one and giving it to them in a frame, how about printing out a Google map image of a place that means a lot to the both of you. Then cut it into a heart shape and glue onto a piece of card and then frame that instead. Then you’ve created something that will be special just for the two of you and nowhere near as clichéd.

A Coupon Book of Love!

Write out coupon cards with offers on them such as: ‘Your Slave for the Day’, ‘Drinks on Me’ or ‘One Home Cooked Dinner’ etcetera. Then allow your signiﬁcant other to choose whenever they want to use them. You can make them as raunchy or romantic as you want and you’ll both have a great laugh. They’ll most likely really enjoy possessing all the power in the relationship for a while and appreciate your willingness to give up your time for them. ogspot.co.uk

Image: notont

hehighstreet.

com

duckdesigns.bl Image: lucky

Still, if all else fails bake them something! (see opposite) ISSUE 45 5

LIFESTYLE

Rice Krispie Cake with a Valentines Twist Kate Lakie

Ingredients: 3 tablespoons of margarine 60 Marshmallows Red food colouring 9 cups of Rice Krispies cereal Heart-shaped cookie cutter

Method: Grease a baking tray. Melt the margarine in a large pot over low heat. Add the marshmallows and stir into the margarine continuously until they melt. Remove the pan from the heat and put drops of red food colouring into the mixture while you stir, until you reach your desired colour. Add the Rice Krispies into the mixture while you stir until they are evenly coated with Marshmallows. Spoon the mixture onto the baking tray With lightly buttered hands, smooth out the mixture, spreading it to an even thickness. Cut out heart shapes with a cookie cutter. Place in the fridge until you are ready to give them out!

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FASHION

DRESS TO IMPRESS

YOURSELF The month of February would probably seem like the right time for all of us here at the fashion section to pitch in our two cents and let you all know exactly what you should be wearing this upcoming Valentine’s Night. However, I felt like taking a different approach in this ‘love’ issue. Of course I am by no means undermining the concept of giving fashion advice or talking about it and celebrating it - I’m a huge fan of all these things. But for this one night of the year when a lot of the focus is on being with that one special person and dressing for them, I think it’s high time we all readdressed the idea of self-love, and in particular the idea of dressing to please ourselves.

DOUBLE STANDARDS SUCH AS THESE DO NOTHING FOR OUR SELF-WORTH OR OUR SELF-LOVE SO KICK ‘EM TO THE CURB I am very aware that this is not the most original or ground-breaking thought, but I ﬁrmly believe it cannot be emphasised enough. Since this issue aims to celebrate the diversity of love, I see it as the perfect opportunity to slip in a little reminder of how important it is to love ourselves. As we all know, there is an absolute plethora of rules and regulations out there governing what we (men and women) cannot wear - everyone has an opinion on it. I myself have

been guilty of it in the past. For women there are strict guidelines on ‘how to dress for your body type’. There are warnings to cover up in order to not give the impression that you’re ‘easy’; but then we mustn’t cover up too much or we risk coming across as ‘uptight’. Whereas for men the ultimate goal seems to be a sort of ‘unintentional perfection’; no one likes a guy who spends too much time in front of the mirror as that kind of vanity is reserved for girls, obviously. Double standards such as these do nothing for our self-worth or our self-love so kick ‘em to the curb. In the end we can all wear whatever the hell we want, and when we’re doing it for ourselves - well, that’s what it’s all about. So whatever you’ve got planned to wear on Valentine’s night, be it a gorgeous jaw-dropping dress or a pair of old PJs accompanied by unbrushed hair and a Netﬂix marathon (holla), don’t forget that you’re a stunner and to love yourself for it. Haters gonna hate <3.

LEONA REID

DEAR

ME, EAT K GR O O L YOU NIGHT! E TO OM M X R F E LOV XXX

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FASHION

THE LOO K OF LO V E So it’s February, hopefully you have recovered from that month-long hangover caused by the party season. Trying every cocktail on the menu seemed like a great idea at the time, but it’s not and attempting self-administered recovery with a prescription of junk food was probably much to the detriment of your ﬁgure. However, if you’re like me, you might have tired quickly of the many #newyearnewme and ‘I have had an amazing year’ posts on Facebook. I never usually make resolutions, what is the point? I’ll just feel guilty when I drop them two weeks down the line. Which brings me to the point of the article; resolutions are all about bettering yourself and there’s no better way to do this than to improve your wardrobe!

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FASHION

Hallelujah, a shopping trip! Shopping is my greatest vice and one true love and love is what this issue is all about. Fashion, whether bad or good, is something that features in everyone’s life, but what’s love got to do with it? Well, for starters, there is first-date fashion, weddings, Valentines Day, and anniversaries, all of which require outfit planning, right down to the bare lingerie basics. You have to get that perfect blend of looking totally stunning but also like you haven’t tried very hard, which inevitably takes twice as much effort. The concepts of love and fashion have been intricately linked throughout history as well. For example, wedding dresses have an enormous impact; they are a tradition that has evolved vastly since their conception. The Victoria and Albert museum has a stunning collection, dating back to the 1700s Unfortunately, while Queen Victoria’s wedding dress is not included; it was made of Spitalfields satin and had a lace trim made in Devon. Victoria was very particular, only the best of British bespoke textiles for the Crown! Being a monarch, Victoria’s wardrobe was one that spared no expense. Luxurious silks, handmade lace and velvet, which all would have been far harder to come by at the time. Everything she wore was beautifully embellished; fur trims, solid silver and gold adornments and intricate hand-beaded sections. Skipping forward to 1861, which was the fated year when Prince Albert passed away, Queen Victoria took to wearing only black. During that time it was tradition for mourners to wear black for a period of around 6-14 months, however Victoria continued to wear black for 40 years until her death in 1901, a testament to her love for her husband. More recently, in 1967, San Francisco was transformed when tens of thousands of hippies gathered in the Haight-Ashbury neighbourhood, the beginning of a social spectacle called ‘the Summer of Love.’ This movement caused a ripple effect with gatherings taking place in other states as well as in Canada and Europe.

“

Victoria continued to wear black for 40 years until her death in 1901, a testament of her love for her husband.

”

It was all about music, art, politics, drugs, and above all, a complete lack of sexual and social inhibitions. This movement caused onlookers to start questioning the way society was being controlled. They began losing faith in the government, disagreeing with the war in Vietnam, and opposing capitalism. The Summer of Love caused alternative lifestyles such as communal living and free love to become more accepted and it also promoted gender equality; people were beginning to express themselves in new ways.

The ‘ﬂower children’ - so called because they wore ﬂowers in their hair – wore denim jeans, as they were inexpensive and easy to care for. Jeans do not give any indication of class and were used as an anti-fashion statement; rips, patches, and embroidery were added to personalise them. The Salvation Army was a popular haunt as were army/navy surplus stores after the Beatles released their album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band. Mini skirts and shift dresses were popular as well; think bright colours and bold patterns - Paisley was all the rage. These are only a few examples of how fashion and love are connected; I could go on all day. Whilst researching I found myself inspired to shop and luckily the sales were still on so I could banish the last of my January blues and get ready for the month of love. My inner consumerist rejoices.

Caitlin Miller

ISSUE 45 9

FASHION

TWENTY SHADES OF VALENTINES Kathryn McKnight and Claire McPhillimy

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LIP LINERS Lip liners are the essential tools for achieving the perfect Kylie Jenner pout! They are so underrated and yet they make such a difference to your overall look. Tip: draw straight across your cupid’s bow to achieve a fuller look - but don’t overdraw too much! MAC Soar (£12.50), MAC Brick (£12.50), Rimmel Indian Pink (£2.99), Rimmel East End Snob (£3.99), NYX Natural (£3.50)

LIPSTICKS Lipsticks can take your perfect Valentine’s look from day to night. From subtle pinks to daring reds and dazzling fuchsias - we’ve got it covered! MAC Ruby Woo (£15.50), NYX Whipped Caviar (£6), Rimmel 107 (£5.49), Topshop Partition (£8), MAC Creme Cup (£15.50)

NAIL POLISH The easiest way to add a bit of colour to your look is through nail varnish - it requires very little maintenance or commitment! If you’re worried that red or pink is a little too girly for your everyday look then this is the perfect way to give a subtle nod to the festive colour! Essie in Lovie Dovie (£8), Topshop Matte Nails in Tobasco Trouble (£6), Topshop Matte Nails in Drink Pink (£6), Barry M in Ice Cream Pink (£3), Essie in Fiji (£8)

LIP GLOSS Red lipstick can be a little daunting when you’re not the most conﬁdent makeup artist. Gloss is lipstick’s low maintenance best friend - layer it on top for an extra glam look, or by itself if you’re not feeling brave (or sober!) enough for a full on made-up pout! Estee Lauder’s Pure Colour gloss in Wet Cranberry has enough pigment to give you a classic red colour, but if you forget to touch it up it’ll gradually fade, meaning you don’t have to waste any time worrying about it! It’s rather pricey though, so we’ve picked some other cheaper options that’ll also see you through the night. Estee Lauder Pure Colour in Wet Cranberry (£17), Clinique Chubby Stick Moisturising Lip Balm in Pudgy Peony (£17), L’Oreal Glam Shine in Rose Glow (£7), Sleek Matte Me in Party Pink (£4.99), Rimmel Apocalips in Big Bang (£6.50)

CURRENT AFFAIRS

Till Votes Do Us Pa r t Euan Forbes

ebruary may be the month of romance but love is the last thing on many a politicians mind, what with the General Election fast approaching. Come May, however, the prospect of a hung parliament may spice things up a bit. It’s only a matter of time before the parties have to decide who to take to bed and who to spurn for the next ﬁve years. So what are the likely scenarios? The SNP have already categorically refused a coalition with the Conservatives, although they have said that they would not rule out one with the Labour Party. However, while not denying the possibility of such a coalition, Ed Miliband still believes Labour can be a majority government in May. With the collapse of Labour in Scotland in the last few decades, a majority doesn’t seem entirely feasible. The dramatically divergent opinions on issues such as Trident, a make or break issue for the SNP, suggests that such a coalition between the two would be an untenable relationship. The SNP have not exactly held their tongue in attacking Labour for joining with the Conservatives in the bid to save the Union. Such blatant partisanship may not sit well with some at the heart of the SNP. 12 ISSUE 45

If, however, the SNP can overcome this ideological schism, becoming bedfellows with Labour may be exactly what Sturgeon needs to gain more powers for the Scottish Parliament, perhaps even allowing Alex Salmond back into a front-row seat, albeit this time in Westminster rather than Holyrood. However, the latest poll, at the time of writing, however puts the Conservatives in the lead, alas without a clear majority so they could be the ones hunting for a partner. Might there be a renewal of vows between the Conservatives and Lib Dems? Or, perhaps, after ﬁve hard years, it might be time to call in the lawyers and end the often one-sided affair. Only a few options really remain, some of them a lot less appetising than others. One possibility would be a Conservative UKIP coalition, the thought of which is enough to send shivers up many socialists’ spines. Such a coalition would pretty much cement Britain’s exit from the EU and see tighter immigration controls in the UK than ever before. A further option would be a coalition with several smaller parties such as the Greens and Plaid Cymru. Perhaps Cameron’s wish for the Greens to be included in the TV debates is an

CURRENT AFFAIRS

? Given that consensus is only a tourist to Westminster, coming once in a blue moon, a productive minority Tory government seems like a farflung option.

olive branch in preparation for just such a coalition. However, attempting to please so many different parties would be anything but a walk in the park. A final choice for the Conservatives would be to return to a single life and lead a minority government, with the occasional hook up or promise with individual parties to get legislation passed. However, given that ‘consensus’ is only a tourist to Westminster, coming once in a blue moon, a productive minority Tory government seems like a far-flung option. With four months to go, everything is still to play for. It will be a while yet before we see any warmth or hints of potential coalition partners from the politicians but the fires of passion are smouldering and soon our streets will once again be bustling with career politicians and civil servants all checking out each others prowess and flaunting their poll results. That being said, come May 7th, Westminster, to the surprise of statisticians and pollsters across the country, could be run by a single majority government, wouldn’t that be lovely?

ISSUE 45 13

CURRENT AFFAIRS

How much would you pay for love?

E C I R P OF

E V O L

How much is a father’s love for his family worth?

Or the price of a mother’s love for her child?

n 2012 a Hong Kong Tycoon offered $44 million to any male who was successful in marrying his same-sex-orientated daughter, in order, as he argued, to save the dynasty he had single-handed created. “What kind of love is that?”, we clamour from our Western-liberal parapets! It simultaneously violates of our Disney-princess-happy-every-after while reafﬁrming familial, ethic traditions that are, sadly, not a purely Eastern phenomenon. From January to December 2013, the UK government monitored over 1302 forced marriages in Great Britain, 82% of which involved women and 63% of which involved victims 21 and under. We mustn’t forget that the patriarchal heroes of Britain were misogynistic womanisers (Bond) or multi-spousal vagrants (Henry VIII). Love has historically been hard to come by, perhaps only adding to its mystique and real-world price. Take a stereotypical white wedding or civil partnership with all the trimmings, currently costing, on average, a

14 ISSUE 45

Is love something we can buy?

staggering £21,000 in the UK. Never mind ‘the ring’ that is still expected to cost three months salary. It seems whoever doesn’t pay for love with their spirit is often left crippled with debt. Love as a commodity is oft becoming the must-have thing. For our Japanese counterparts it has become commonplace to hire boyfriends or girlfriends who in turn treat, compliment and act as servants to the avant-garde bourgeoisie of Beijing.

‘

Love as a commodity is oft becoming the must-have thing.

‘

How about the selfless love we can freely donate to others? This too comes at a price; the real world value of a pint of the good stuff ranges anywhere between £300-500, while the legal value of a heart is £642,000. From selfish to selfless love, it all has a price, but what is yours worth? Dominic Younger

ART

The Hague, 1713 I am a prisoner here in the name of the King; they can take my life, but not the love that I feel for you. Yes, my adorable mistress, to-night I shall see you, and if I had to put my head on the block to do it.

THE LOST ART OF LOVE LETTERS

hen was the last time you had something to say that didn’t disappear after two seconds of instant messaging? When did you last hold on to a thought or feeling until it became so ravenous that it stalked and tormented you until you finally put a shaking pen to paper? We are losing our words these days and it’s not our fault; the rapid currents of instantaneous communications all too quickly swallow up our thoughts. We are sailing down an incessant stream of consciousness, which is clogged by the floating debris of Royal Mail and purged of all precious, patient thought. Today’s most prolific pen-smiths are convicts, who until recently were forced to solely communicate by ink. In tribute to this dying art, we thought we’d share with you another criminals letter, arguably the most well written love-letter of all time: From Voltaire to Olympe Hanover.

For heaven’s sake, do not speak to me in such disastrous terms as you write; you must live and be cautious; beware of madame your mother as of your worst enemy. What do I say? Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters. If you love me, reassure yourself; and call all your strength and presence of mind to your aid; do not let your mother notice anything, try to have your pictures, and be assured that the menace of the greatest tortures will not prevent me to serve you. No, nothing has the power to part me from you; our love is based upon virtue, and will last as long as our lives. Adieu, there is nothing that I will not brave for your sake; you deserve much more than that. Adieu, my dear heart! Arout Voltaire

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ART

COMICS: The Sequential Art of Porn Art and pornography have always had a complicated relationship, as censorship forbids the social taboo of showing sexually explicit content. E. L. James managed to sidestep the condemning classification of ‘porn’ by writing her Twilight fantasies down in a neat little book, literature being far too highbrow to be deemed pornography. However, hiding under the sheets of mainstream art, James’ 50 Shades has hit cinemas in full forty eight frames-per-second glory. So, if literature, being non-visual, escapes the damning genre, whereas film, the most explicit art form encapsulates it, where do comics fit? Both writing and images are used in what is termed sequential art, so how does this alter the fabled relationship between art and pornography? Art is defined as human creativity and imagination which expresses and provokes emotion. Undoubtedly, pornography achieves this, with the goal of inciting sexual arousal in the viewer. However, what divides critics in the classification of porn as art is the ethical implication of the industry. That is the misogynistic sexualisation of women, of which there are countless examples in the history of pornography. Yet what is rarely discussed is the empowerment of women in porn, which surely facilitates artistic merit. Guido Crepax’s Valentina, an Italian comic from the 1960’s, centres on the explicit adventures of a sexually liberal woman, categorising it as pornography. Crepax’s heroine, while sexually free, also represents the liberated women of his time, as an emancipated, politically active, and self-employed woman. Similarly, more contemporary writer Adam Warren’s Empowered 16 ISSUE 45

epitomises scantily clad superheroes, in classic manga greyscale, starting off as damsels in distress, but evolving into kick-ass superwomen. However, like all art, pornography in comics does have its own seedy underbelly. To name one example, Japanese culture, known for more liberal and somewhat controversial laws on the age of consent, reﬂects this gratuitously in their comic culture. Manga, while culturally superb and generally harmless and enjoyable is known for dipping its toe in sexual taboos, some of which even involve rape and incest. Among these is a ‘Lolita complex’, in which Lolicon’s enjoy reading manga showing young girls and children in sexually explicit situations. With titles like Junior Rape or Japanese Pre-teen Suite it is hard to imagine how the $3.6bn a year industry escapes reprimand for normalising and possibly facilitating the threat of

ART

sexual abuse through pornography in comics. The US State Department even went as far as to condemn Japan as an ‘international hub for the production and trafficking of child pornography’ in 2013. Such vilification of Japanese culture however begs the question, as it is merely practising something many are guilt of. British writer Alan Moore has been accused of sexualising female abuse, most controversially in Neonomicon which graphically depicts the heroine’s rape at the hands of an alien monster. However, the National Coalition Against Censorship has defended Moore’s work, claiming that it merely continues themes of race, crime and sexuality explored in H. P. Lovecraft’s work (unquestionably deemed art), and that he deliberately depicts sexual violence ‘as a critical comment on how such subject matter is handled elsewhere within the [horror] genre.’ This was not Moore’s first step into the world of pornographic comics as the Watchmen author released an erotic fantasy series Lost Girls in 1991-2. Documenting the sexual awakenings of classic literary characters such as Peter Pan’s Wendy and The Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy, Moore and artist Melinda Gebbie felt that ‘sex, as a genre, was woefully under-represented in literature.’ Lost Girls has since been described by Moore as following Angela Carter’s idea of ‘benign pornography’ implied in her

‘Crepax’s heroine, while sexually free, also represented the liberated women of the time, as an emancipated, politically active, and self-employed woman.’ novel The Sadeian Woman, in which she suggests pornography could be imaginative and beautiful. Surely this then pushes the boat out from trashy, low-brow pornography into art? Why is it acceptable, and even worthy of praise, for sexually explicit scenarios to be conveyed in typed black and white, but illustrations be condemned and looked down on by the classiﬁcation of art? While comics do have a lot of ethically negative stigma in pornographic culture, it also has reason to be proud in its successful branching between porn and art.

Kate McAuliffe

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FEATURES

In Defence of Pornography Tuesday 2nd of December 2014 was an unseasonably warm morning here in Dundee. Nonetheless many fans of free expression (particularly the pornography enthusiasts among them) felt shivers run the length of their (sweaty) spines during their daily news round-up; the British Board of Film Censors was granted jurisdiction to censor paid-for video-on-demand (VoD) internet porn produced in the UK. The amendment made to the Communications Act (2003) effectively bans the inclusion of spanking, caning, female ejaculation, strangulation, face-sitting and ﬁsting (among other acts) by requiring that VoD services now adhere to the same legal requirements as porn DVDs sold in shops.

stensibly, this legislative tweak (I’d ask you to pardon the pun but ‘get comfortable’ would be the more honest injunction at this point) may appear a non-issue; in terms of its impact on porn consumers, only those relatively few individuals who both pay for porn and who have a particular penchant for UK-made porn featuring any of the newly outlawed acts will see their digital stash diminished. The legislation applies exclusively to the UK’s porn producers by telling them what they cannot produce or distribute; small, independent pornographers with no international production basis will be hit hardest (in the pocket, by reduced subscriptions – not on the bottom and not by a cane (that would be obscene and illegal, you see)).

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You’re not among those relatively few individuals who pay for home-grown porn? You’re not an independent porn producer practicing exclusively in the UK? Keep reading regardless (although keep reading especially if you are either or both of those things). While I’ll not slip down the slope of arguing that no one among us is free until they may ﬁst or be ﬁsted and receive payment for doing so on camera, I will argue that this quiet and creeping expansion of regulation into the personal and closed-door spaces of sexual expression should be of grave concern to us all, whether or not your particular pickle-tickler appears on the list of newly regulated proclivities. One of the salient reasons for concern should be the fact that this is an imposition that nobody asked for, quite the opposite in fact. On Friday December 12th Westminster witnessed the continuation of our Kingdom’s long-established tradition of peaceful civilian protest with a face-sitting rally (a ‘sit-on’, perhaps) organised by the British Erotic Award’s 2013 ‘Sex Worker of the Year’, Charlotte Rose. The crux of this protest, and indeed of my own concerns, is perhaps best summarised by professor of law, women’s studies and political science, Drucilla Cornell: ‘if legal privacy is to mean anything at all, the state must stay out of a person’s sexual imagination and the expression he or she gives to it.’

FEATURES

Caveat: My purpose here is not to white-wash the complexity or prevalence of the deeply distressing issues which riddle this industry. A few examples: performers’ pay is virtually never equal, with male performers bearing the bite of the disparity (except in the case of same-sex shoots, for which men are often paid several times more than women). In addition, industry medical regulation is, in many places, a bad joke (porn actress-turned-activist Jessie Rogers/Jessica Mendes can provide better testimony to this than I possibly could here).

‘The domain of internet pornography can provide a safe, risk-free space for the curious user to explore avenues of interest and excitement’ My purpose is to argue that a) the way to deal with these difficulties is to discuss them with greater nuance than has hitherto characterised our debate on the subject, and act on those discussions with more acceptance and openness than is exemplified by the afore-mentioned amendment and b) internet porn isn’t all bad: again, not to overlook the horrors of revenge porn or other instances of non-consensual exposure, but to point out that these are horrifically unfortunate consequences of a characteristic of internet pornography which is one of its most noble, democratic and egalitarian: anyone can contribute; it is a conversation from which nobody is excluded. The variety of internet porn provides

lasting and ever-growing testimony to this unbridled diversity. If you remain unconvinced, I recommend observing PornMD.com’s live search-stream as a method of tearing the mask off human sexuality (and most likely getting a good giggle out of it at the same time). In extending the parameters of their censorship and picking-on minoritive kinks with restrictive and invasive regulation which is unabashedly sexist (count the number of genders still allowed to ejaculate on camera), the BBFC has tarnished one of the most positive aspects about internet pornography, without addressing any of the things which are actually wrong with it.

Furthermore, the domain of internet pornography can provide a safe, risk-free space for the curious user to explore avenues of interest and excitement; negating the manifold physical risks of live-action sexual experimentation (at least until one knows what one likes, where one likes it and with whom). Finally, porn is not going away; human beings are horny creatures: from pre-historic statuettes to Greek vases to some of the earliest photographs from the nascent days of photo-technology, the production of sexually explicit material is a perennial habit of humankind. In summary, if you can’t beat it (last one, promise) join it, or at least use pornography and the discussion around it to better understand human sexuality, and to give expression and community to those on the sexual fringes who would otherwise be disparate, distant and disconnected from one another. Tweet praise, corrections, ridicule, comments and offers of employment to @cammyrathie Cameron Rathie ISSUE 45 19

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FIRST DATES Adele Hamilton-Sturdy

2012 was, unashamedly, my year of online dating. Having just gotten out of a long term relationship, I bravely embarked upon the road of self-discovery and conquering the art of small talk. Many readers will ask “why bother?” and perceive this as a latent act of desperation; I was 21, neither horriﬁcally disﬁgured nor short of people with whom I might dabble. Regardless, without sounding mercenary, I had no intention of becoming involved with anyone I met online. I like dating. I love going fun places and eating and drinking good food. Who doesn’t love being wined and dined? I’m not even necessarily talking about being the appeal of a free meal (though not paying is always a plus, let’s not kid ourselves) so I was happy to go half-sies. For several months the protocol was a date, a drink, occasionally scintillating conversation with more often than not, no follow up.

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FEATURES Having had extensive conversations with (very attractive) female friends on the topic; are these lengths required to get a date? Apologies for broad sweeping generalisations here but British early-tomid-twenties men do not have the balls to ask a girl out for a drink without concrete evidence that the attraction is mutual. In our generation and in Scotland especially, there seems to be a kind of mysterious, cultural nuance that stipulates that a date is a more committed, strings-attached sort of arrangement than a night of intimate sex. So what are your options? For many people, online dating is an assiduously miserable experience. One reason for this is that service users aren’t actually looking for

British early-to-mid-twenties men do not have the balls to ask a girl out for a drink without concrete evidence that the attraction is mutual love; online dating offers the dream of true love but, for many, casual sex (or dinner in my case) is the aim. Since I wasn’t looking for the end prize, I thought this was a fool proof plan and that I would be free from vexation in my quest. Alas, I was wrong; there remain many irritating pitfalls like the ever-present narcissist. Of course, the whole point of a dating proﬁle to make yourself sound irresistible, listing your many hobbies, talents and exotic travel destinations. Unfortunately, because of this, the real narcissists are impossible to distinguish from all ‘genuine’ guys (people on dating sites love to describe themselves as authentic) just trying to be open, share their experiences and of course get a date. So prepare yourself by learning your best feigning-interest face or then again, if you’re anything like me, maybe don’t because if you’re as good as I am at a well-placed “mmm”, “indeed” or pertinent question, they will think you’re wonderful and never stop talking.

Unfortunately as I discovered, a shared enthusiasm for Mexican food and Pink Floyd has little bearing on the criteria for compatibility and mutual attraction. Online dating may give you the privilege of knowing these entirely vital components in advance but in the process it eliminates the spark and spontaneity from the outset of communication. For me, the whole thing was far too much information to process at once and although, there were plenty of fish in the sea (excuse the pun), in choosing the anonymous route both people invariably set themselves up for aesthetic disappointment. Thanks to fortunate lighting and miraculous filters, most of us have at least one photo in which we look like someone else (usually a slimmer, more chiselled version of ourselves) and we can’t be blamed for choosing that one as a profile picture. Aside from motivations of vanity, there’s an appeal in not being instantly recognisable. After all, the prospect of being accosted in Dundee High Street by someone exclaiming, “Oh my God! Aren’t you Cutiepie69, who has a serious thing for a nice man bun?” is not ideal. I don’t by the way. At least, not more that the average woman. It became clear after a month or two that the whole online dating scene wasn’t for me but it was great at the time. The moral of the story here is that maybe if you’re not looking for the one, online dating is perfect. It broadened my horizons, provided me with lots of funny anecdotes and made me realise the value of real life interactions and wordless chemistry. However, if you’d rather avoid all this online frivolity just ask her (or him) out. It’s Valentines and what is there to lose?

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ENTERTAINMENT

Lori Petrie

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ENTERTAINMENT

Album Game App Gadget Film Tv Show

Long Way Down – Tom Odell, out now Tom Odell has been soulfully howling his way to chart success for a number of years after winning countless newcomer awards throughout 2013. He was spotted by the duchess of british pop herself, Lily Allen, who later said the endless vivacity and emotion of his performance reminded her of a young David Bowie. Odell went on to record a song that would make the nation cry over two toy penguins in a John Lewis advert. The impassioned lyrics and stirring melodies of Bowie 2.0 make for an excellent soundtrack to your Valentine’s night. Dragon Age: Inquisition, available now on all platforms The Valentine season can be tough for those unfortunate enough to be alone at this time of year. Luckily, the lack of emotional companionship during a commercially manufactured holiday created to sell greetings cards comes with a few benefits. On one hand, endless mountains of discounted chocolate after the 14th. And on the other, a satisfying but decidedly artificial sense of social interaction through the medium of role playing video games! Who needs real friends when your hot dwarf wizard husband can set dragons on fire? Tastebuds, free on iTunes If exploring the forest with your virtual elf witch girlfriend isn’t quite satisfying your pinings for human interaction, this dating app provides a welcome change from the savage world of Tinder without sacrificing the convenience of mobile dating. Tastebuds disregards trivial things like looks and personalities and matches people based on their similar tastes in music. An interesting take on what is fast becoming a lucrative industry in the app market. SMS Audio Star Wars Headphones, UK release TBC, £160 Once your relationship with your musically tasteful companion has blossomed into a full-blown lyrical romance, buy yourselves a pair of matching Star Wars headphones and become the ultimate musically harmonious couple ever to walk this earth or any other planet in the system for that matter. Just not Alderaan, or some wayward Imperial commander might blow you up to prove a point. Just strap yourself in and hope he can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Selma, released 6/2/2014 It might take a lot of convincing to persuade your girlfriend to choose this historical epic over That-One-Movie-Adaptation-Of-That-One-Naughty-Book-Everyone-AndYour-Mum-Read, but it will be well worth it. As pleasing as it would be to announce that racism in America was destroyed in one fell swoop following the events of Selma in 1965, that was sadly not the case. Perhaps this docu-drama starring Oprah Winfrey, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tim Roth will bring the fight for racial equality in an apparently post-racial society to the minds of those who can make a difference. Drunk History, Mondays at 10pm, Comedy Central If you like your history lessons with a little less violence and a little more vodka then Comedy Central’s new show will go down as smoothly as your ninth Jagerbomb of the evening. The premise is simple: various British comedians consume nonsensical amounts of alcohol and run through some of the lesserknown parts of historical fact, ad-libbing where appropriate. I don’t think Henry VIII ever described Anne of Cleaves as “top quality clunge” but everyone in this lecture is too drunk to care about historical accuracy. ISSUE 45 23

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How popular culture has got it wrong

hen we think of love in films we see pink hearts, little cherubs shooting arrows and dreamy looks on girls’ faces. Undoubtedly the heroine will overcome her prejudices and dislike of the hero, while he overcomes his pride to win her back. Love doesn’t need to be pink, mushy and sickly sweet; love should be enlightening, open and supportive. Most of the best-loved “great romances” show unreal expectations of love. They are self-destructive relationships that show love comes with great sorrow, and often one partner showing superiority. In popular culture it’s easy to pluck a few examples without having to think too hard. To name a few examples we have Twilight; a teenage girl who falls in love with a sparkly, mysterious vampire, who makes

her weak and pathetic and letting lover dictate who she is (and eventually becomes-spoiler alert!). In the steamy 50 Shades we have a meek and mild reporter who falls for a controlling, dominant man who can only express his feelings through BDSM during their sexual encounters. Let’s not forget about the inspiring Romeo and Juliet, the couple who are so madly in love with one another after just an hour of meeting, that they decide they cannot live without one another and would instead choose death by poison. Romance in essence. Is there a couple that encompasses this? Yes, even if this is a purely fictional example, I believe it to be a great presentation of a ‘real’ relationship: Morticia and Gomez Addams from The Addams Family have one

How popular culture has got it wrong

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of the most enviable and romantic relationships ever written, showing that love (to quote one of the sappy films) actually is all around. As characters, they give a more realistic and suitable example of what love and a healthy relationship should be.

Love should be enlightening, open and supportive So what is so special about this relationship in particular? Morticia and Gomez are two healthy, monogamous adults who openly express their feelings and desires. They accept the strengths and weaknesses each has and support the other unconditionally, making them better as a person. Is this not what

everyone wants from their own significant other? They balance each other perfectly, with Gomezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enthusiasm and Morticiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s confidence for any project or pleasure they have. They both understand one another and express their individualism outside of their relationship. Most importantly they have a happy, loving, open-minded and sexually active relationship. They are equal partners in their relationship, worrying about the other and supporting them in all their dreams and desires. Maybe we need to stop aspiring to pain, heartbreak, and death.

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SCIENCE

G OT S C I E NC E? This Month’s Sci-Tech Groundbreakers

Human ‘Poo’ Bus The UK’s first ‘Bio-Bus’ powered by food and human waste (kind of gross) has been put to work between Bristol Airport and Bath City Centre. While the concept might seem a bit… strange, it is a step forward to making transport as green as possible, with a single passenger’s annual waste able to transport the bus 37 miles.

Are We Actually Back to the Future You will hopefully recall a certain pair of self-lacing shoes that appeared in the film Back To The Future II. Well these could actually be hitting our shops by the time Marty McFly comes calling! While some of the predictions made in Back To The Future haven’t quite come true and probably won’t before October 21st 2015 (his arrival date) we aren’t far off ! Hoverboards featured in our previous issue, and now we have these shoes! Maybe we actually are in the future?!

Robots are Taking Over!... Our Kitchens Artificial intelligence gets more terrifying by the day. The fear of robots taking over and killing us all lingers in the back of my brain constantly. Perhaps I should see someone about that? Researchers based in Australia have used a form of AI called ‘deep learning’ to train their robot how to cook from 88 different YouTube videos. We may soon see robots cooking our meals in restaurants and maybe even our homes! I am unsure how I feel about teaching robots to wield knives, but hey, lets not step on the toes of the future!

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SCIENCE

Mind Controlled Prosthetics A double-amputee has successfully controlled both of his prosthetic arms simultaneously using his thoughts! This is a massive step forward to making the everyday lives and tasks of amputees easier than ever. While we still have a long way to go, prosthetics are improving at a rapid pace with several cases of success in thought-controlled limbs being reported every month!

Meal Replacement Pill A new drug has been developed in the USA that mimics our bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reaction to eating. The drug creates the sensation that the user is beginning to eat a meal, sending signals to burn fat, reduce blood sugar and cholesterol levels while also boosting metabolism. This could be a massive step forward in the hunt for an end to the obesity crisis, before it gets too late.

Andrew Stewart ISSUE 45 27

SCIENCE

SCIENCE AND L VE Ahh love, where to start… In the words of Aristotle, ‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies’, which is possibly the cutest thing I have EVER heard. *Detect Sarcasm*. Those who know me, and have had to tolerate my ranting during films, lunches, shopping, general conversation and basically any other situation, are aware of my cynicism when it comes to love and the great quest of finding it.

This recipe usually leads to comments about how unrealistically love is being conveyed, how the women are made to look dependent on the men and how their love will NEVER last. It makes us wonder whether there is something about love that books and the movies don’t want us to see? I don’t understand the fuss to be honest, having sex 639 times a day is surely the basis of every relationship, as conveyed to us in ‘50 Shades of Grey’.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just sit at home crying alone with my cats, but I do feel a bit let down by the whole concept of love that has been conveyed to me in my upbringing. The problem, in my opinion, is that I have been brought up in the world of technology, where conversation is at our fingertips and a large percentage of relationships now begin online.

I am NOT saying that I read books or watched films like 50 Shades while growing up, but basically every Disney film I watched as a child has some form of a happily ever after. And then there comes the Hilary Swank/ Katherine Heigl/Rachel McAdams era…don’t get me started. Can you understand now why I feel we have been given false expectations of the wonders of love?

So my question is: Is there room for ‘love’ in this world of science and technology? Or is my generation screwed? To answer this, lets look at how love has been construed in films and books and see what we find.

So now let’s look at technology. It is estimated that one in five adults use or have used online dating, with 5% of American marriages being the result of an online date. This number is set to grow with the trend of apps such as Tinder or Grindr becoming more and more popular every day, and the stigma behind online dating getting less significant. Apparently the average Tinder user spends 77 minutes a day swiping? However, while we may think online dating makes finding love easier,

Romance tends to follow a certain recipe in films and books. Girl meets guy, they fall in love, usually something gets in the way, they fight through it, probably break up anyway, get back together and then they live happily ever after. Cue the motivational closing credits song. 28 ISSUE 45

SCIENCE

do we really need another way of making physical real-life connections, or should we just get out there and socialise? Who knows…? Let us move to a grittier topic: Pornography and self-love. The rise of the Internet brought us easily distributed pornography. We see scary statistics of the Internet being full of pornographic material; some say 4%, others say 37%. It is safe to assume it is a fairly large number, and also that a VERY large percentage of both men and women search for and use this material. This could also be the reason for the rapid increase in sex toy sales. While there is evidence of sex toys from as far back as 28,000 years ago, the market has never been bigger. 82% of American (it is difficult to find statistics for anywhere else, not going to ask why) adults use sex toys, spending $15 billion a year on them! The market is huge, lots of people use them, so do we actually need others for love?

While yes, I am cynical about what love really is, I do believe it is there. Where we choose to find this love doesn’t matter, whether you sent a random man you met once a letter declaring your love for him, or spent hours on end chatting to someone in an app; it is insignificant, so long as you are happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

We live in a world where technology is becoming a major part of loving others In ending, I lovingly leave you with this John Lennon quote, (so I look cool): “Love is a promise; love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear”. Happy loving!

We live in a world where technology is becoming a major part of loving others, and ourselves, but does this hinder the idea of great love that we have been trained to believe exists? I don’t think so.

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SCIENCE

NEWTON’S L AW S O F AT T R A C T I O N Newton, a famous man of great intellect, believed that pretty much all could be predicted thanks to predetermined scientific patterns. That said, it seems that he forgot one attraction that works in mysterious ways: sexual attraction. The latter has the tendency to function out of all reason; it promotes passion and is known to create chaos universally. There are so many situations where one realises how men and women react completely differently, but is it because of nurture or nature? I say, a combination of both! Thanks to development in neuroscience we have been able to notice that our brains have many variations, from one gender to the next, i.e. in sizes of specific regions as well as connectivity. For example, it has been observed that the nucleus in charge of sexual activity in the amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for memory, decision making and emotional reactions) is the same size as the one of homosexual men. Th is would mean that predetermined genetics could explain certain sexual behaviours. Th is is one of the many interesting facts regarding differences within brains. That being said, these disparities within brains could explain why men and women have completely different responses to a given situation. On the topic of jealousy, that green-eyed monster which often lays waste to the fires of passion affl icts men and women for very different reasons. Men tend to be more intensely jealous if their woman cheats on them physically, while women take emotional cheating very seriously. 30 ISSUE 45

Historically, this could be because men wanted to be sure they would spend their resources on a kid they knew was theirs, while women were looking for a man to stick around and take care of the family. What we know for sure, is that attraction impacts us consciously and subconsciously: The waist-to-hip ratio in women portrays fertile women. Symmetry and facial structure which shows great genetic disposition is often looked for in men. Your smell contains pheromones sending the ‘I’m ready to mate’ message. Visual stimulation may kick off a relationship but behaviour will make it last. Indeed, personality is also very important and you can still work on your alpha attributes. When asked, the top criteria on the desirability scale apart from physical attractiveness were: health, social status, ambition, and faithfulness. However, what can you expect when Cupid unslings his bow? Thanks to a combination of hormones, positive visual stimulation and that je ne sais quoi this man/woman has caught your eye in the library. You feel strange and before you know it, you get distracted from studying: -sweaty palms. -flushed cheeks: increased blood flow. -raised eyebrows and increasingly opened eyes. - a racing heart.

SCIENCE

If you have experienced any of these symptoms while lurking in the sexual jungle of the library, it was the sign that you had identified a potential mate: your body was responding so as to allow rapid reproduction. Th is is when the mating courtship starts and you try getting the attention of the object of your affection, that’s where Spotted comes in handy. Sadly, both parties don’t always share this lust! If, luckily, you do fi nd your mate and taste physical pleasure, the great feeling that sprouts is thanks to hormonal secretions that make you feel good and proud of your man/woman. People say love lasts three years, indeed once we get used to these hormones, it inhibits and puts a damp on that excited feeling and the sentiment of attachment takes over. But don’t worry, this feel-good hormone can be reactivated at any time, it just needs a good dose of personal involvement so as to not let your relationship fall flat and get used to routine! You don’t have to look elsewhere to put a new mate in your life, just take the energy to do something new and exciting things with your current one!

You don’t have to look elsewhere to put a new mate in your life, just take the energy to do something new and exciting things with your current one! The topic of love is still shrouded in mystery, which is not so bad when you think about it, providing lots of possibilities for artistic material and social studies. As our environment is constantly changing and women are being emancipated and sexualisation of society is increasing, this will for sure have an impact on attraction and in romantic relationship dynamics.

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SOCIETIES

WHAT’S YOUR PERFECT DATE? Elizabeth Moss

Dundee University Blood and Organ Donation Society look at a popularly held belief, that your blood type may in fact predict your love life: So, what is your perfect date?

Hard- working and a perfectionist, you call the library your second home, and not just because it’s warmer than your ﬂat.

Your persistent hounding on Spotted Dundee has ﬁnally landed you a date with that guy/girl who is there almost as frequently as you. Where better to hold it than in the library itself ? Together you can moan about the girl opposite who has taken her shoes and socks off underneath the table. Ew! Or that guy who has reserved a desk by leaving his hoodie draped across a seat. What a dick! Food? You’re treating your date tonight. Two pot noodles and a dash of boiling water. Sorted. Pudding? Absolutely. A vending machine chocolate bar should do the trick. The night ends in a ﬂurry of panic as you suddenly realize that despite having been there all day, neither of you have actually done anything. You share a late evening can of Monster before heading to your separate desks. 32 ISSUE 45

SOCIETIES

Cool and creative, you can pull off clothes that other people wouldn’t dream of wearing. You deﬁnitely own a ﬁlm camera and ride an amazing road bike.

You meet at a vintage fayre. They’re taking pictures of the event on their SLR. You invite them to the ﬂat party you’re holding tomorrow night. Your date arrives and puts on your favorite artist of the moment. ‘How do you know these guys?’ you ask. ‘My brother’s friend is in the band.’ they reply. This is it. You’ve found the one. You head to Reading Rooms but don’t actually make it inside, choosing to spend the night outside sharing stories about how this ‘one time in Morocco/India/ Thailand I…’. The night ends when they reveal they’re up early shooting the sunrise tomorrow morning. You agree that you have to travel to Eastern Europe together.

Your relaxed and chilled persona means that 4 hours of class a week is hard work. It only makes sense that time in between tutorials is spent in bed systematically binge watching TV shows.

Conﬁdent and popular, you are thee BNOC (Big Name on Campus). Everyone knows you and everyone knows you love the union.

It’s a Friday night in Liar and the strawpedos are ﬂowing. You spot them across the bar. They have just ordered 10 shots of the union’s ﬁnest ‘sambuxo’ for themselves and all their friends. They catch your eye and offer you a shot. You don’t exchange much conversation. They say something about what course they’re studying but you can’t hear much over the Jackson 5’s ‘ABC’. After a quick dance in mono, you leave alongside them and their friends. You only have one destination in mind: Istanbul. You order chicken nuggets and chips. They order a shwarma wrap. Suddenly the night ends in devastation when you drop yours on the pavement. You try to invite them to the casino but it’s too late, you’ve lost them. You go anyway, after spotting some people you know lingering outside Liquid. Maybe next time you’ll actually get to know their name…

You met when you over heard them talking about how much they love [insert Netflix series]. You also love that series. Therefore, you obviously have to talk to one another about how you love/hate that character. You invite them back to yours so you can watch said series together. You’ve seen it before. So have they. Yet, nothing pleases you more than still rant about just how amazing it is. Dinner is the best part. Fast food. In bed. While watching the show. There is something so disgustingly satisfying about eating in the place that you sleep. The night comes to an abrupt end when you inevitably fall asleep 9 hours into your [insert Netflix series] marathon. Your date stays to finish the season before seeing themselves out.

Do you know your blood type? Give a gift this Valentine’s and donate blood. You can like us at www.facebook.com/DundeeBOD to ﬁnd out more about donation or phone: 0845 30 17 270, to book an appointment to give at Ninewells Blood Donation Centre.

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