The Mancunion 26/09/2011 by The Mancunion

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Issue

Serving the students of Greater Manchester since 1973

Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

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Freshers forced to live in portable cabins

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Wealthy businessm an stabs ‘burglar’ to death

The worst university in the Russell Group Society Spotlight:

Fancy a spot of life drawing?

Politics & Analysis

Lies, damned lies and the race for the US Presidency

Science & Tech:

Photo: Adam Rossano

The best laptops for cash-strapped students

Arts & Culture:

A recent history of graffiti in Manchester

Lifestyle:

From French to Arabic, Chinese to Hindi and all the way back to English. The Mancunion celebrates languages.

Student Eye:

Cricket: Patrick Madden reflects on England’s Indian summer

Manchester University is at the bottom of the Russell Group in a table measuring teaching standards

Joe Sandler Clarke News Editor

Student satisfaction at the University of Manchester is the lowest of all the Russell Group universities. The Guardian university league table ranks UK universities “according to teaching excellence” and resources rather than research performance. Manchester University is 41st with an overall student satisfaction rating of 80 percent.

The Guardian gives Manchester University a score of 61.4 out of 100. Oxford and Cambridge scored 97.9 and 100 respectively. The table reveals that 48 percent of Manchester students are unhappy with the level of feedback they receive about their work, meaning that the Manchester University is performing slightly worse in this regard than most other UK universities. “The administration at Manchester is a joke and has been for at least the last four

years,” said Jess Brown, a History student. “The online course system has never once run smoothly and departments don't interact with one another.” The Russell Group represents 20 elite UK universities. Manchester University’s position at 41 in the table puts it one place above Oxford Brookes and two places above Bournemouth University. Mo Saqib, the Academic Affairs officer at the Students’ Union (UMSU), said, “Universities who opted to charge the top rate of £9,000

partly did so because they felt a higher fee level was a reflection of a higher quality institution. The National Student Survey results show that some subject areas are anything but high quality. “Whilst questions have to be asked about universities charging £9,000 anyway, this is further compounded by the poor quality student experience that certain subject areas currently offer at Manchester.” on page 9 AdamMore Cox, a third-year English Literature student, said, “I’m not a hundred percent happy with my

course. The quality of teaching varies a lot. It feels like a lot of the seminar leaders seem to be no better than the students. “The marking also varies quite drastically; what’s a first with one seminar leader could be 2.1 with another. “One lecturer asked us to email him with ideas of what he should teach us. No one emailed him so he told us in the seminar he had nothing to teach us, as if it was our job to decide. He was just being lazy.”

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News

The worst university in the Russell Group Manchester University do not comment on newspaper league tables because they vary too much, a spokesman said. But he did admit that feedback at the University was not up to standard: “A lot of universities struggle with

feedback … it is something we’ll have to look into,” he said. The table places Cambridge at the top, beating its rival Oxford into second place. Mr Saqib said the University had taken steps to improve the feedback it gives to students:

“The 48 percent figure is actually from last year. This year it went down to 41 percent, with very notable improvements in how quickly feedback was returned and how detailed it was.” He said he hoped

Continued from front page improvements would continue. Manchester Metropolitan University meanwhile, is ranked among the bottom 20 institutions in the table.

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Photo: Adam Rossano

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Editor: Nick Renaud-Komiya editor@mancunion.com Postal address: Univerity of Manchester Students’ Union, Oxford Road, Manchester, M13 9PR News Editors: Josh Carroll, Joe Sandler Clarke, Umar Rauf & Ruth Wildman news.mancunion@gmail.com Phone (0161) 275 2933 Arts & Culture Editors: Phoebe Chambre & Dani Middleton arts@macunion.com Beauty Editor: Isabelle Dann beauty@mancunion.com Business & Finance Editors: Emily Bunting & Scott McEwan finance@mancunion.com Chief Sub-Editor: Emma Bean chiefsub@mancunion.com Columnist: Ben Moore ben@mancunion.com Columnist: Lloyd Henning lloyd@mancunion.com Comment & Debate Editors: Paul Haslam & Ben Green comment@mancunion.com Fashion Editors: Claudia Canavan & Roisin Dervish-O’Kane fashion@mancunion.com Features Editor: Richard Crook features@mancunion.com Film Editor: Bill Knowles & Patrick Cowling film@mancunion.com Food & Drink Editor: Emily Clark foodanddrink@mancunion.com Lifestyle Editors: Lily Howes & Naila Missous lifestyle@mancunion.com Literature Editor: Steve Jones literature@mancunion.com Music Editors: Tom Geddes, Tom Hickman & Joe Smart music@mancunion.com Photo Editor: Jonny Whiting photography@mancunion.com Politics & Analysis Editors: Andrew Williams & Oliver Johnstone politics@mancunion.com Science & Technology Editors: Leah Wong & Aryan Safavi scienceandtech@mancunion.com Societies Editor: Ceri Wills societyspotlight@mancunion.com Sport Editors: Jack Burke & Patrick Madden sport@mancunion.com Theatre Editor: Andrew Campbell theatre@mancunion.com Web Editor: Lloyd Henning webed@mancunion.com Advertising John Conway Email studentdirect@salford.ac.uk Tel 0161 351 5402 Address Student Direct, University House The Crescent, Salford M5 4W

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Freshers wait for the bus at Fallowfield on a night out. Photo: Jonathan Whiting

Freshers descend on the city Ruth Wildman News Editor More first year students than ever before descended on Manchester for freshers’ week. Over 26,000 new students begin their studies this term. And with competition for places more fierce then ever, there was

good reason for them to celebrate their arrival. Students were keen to share their experiences of the week. Will Robinson, a second-year Mechanical Engineering student, said, “I saw a guy throwing up on a cash machine whilst his friend was feeding him vodka. He was trying to smoke a cigarette at the same time.”

In Owens Park tower a Mancunion reporter was offered a bottle of urine to drink: “Do you want some? It’s cooled down a bit,” the student said. Shortly afterwards his friend took a deep drink from the same bottle. Meanwhile new residents attempted the “tower challenge”, a controversial drinking game

where students drink a shot of spirits on each of the building’s 18 floors. A man who referred to himself as Joe Armstrong completed the ‘challenge’ last week. He said, “For the record: the tower challenge is easy.”

For further images and videos of freshers’ week, visit the website: mancunion.com/news

Schools must support A-level overhaul, says admissions boss Joshua Carroll News Editor

Exclusive Plans to make A-level students sit exams before the Easter break must be brought in with the cooperation of the entire education sector, the Head of Admissions at Manchester University, Paul Govey, has said. Mr Govey said enabling students to apply for university after they receive their A-level results would “probably create a fairer admissions process in the UK,” but schools and colleges would need to give their support for the changes to

be progressive. “I think it would benefit students if they could see that the way the system works was that you did you’re exams and got your results, then applied to university to do the course you wanted,” Mr Govey said. “But it won’t work and it won’t be progressive if we don’t work together with the schools sector. We can’t have higher education acting independently of schools and colleges. “[The change would] reduce the length of time for teaching A-levels and it effects the school year quite dramatically.” The proposals were announced last week and could take effect by 2016. They are part of a radical shakeup of the

education system which coincides with the government’s decision to triple tuition fees. Ministers want universities to compete with one another for undergraduate places and offer students more choice in an attempt to compensate for higher fees. Mr Govey said there were “lots of reasons why universities might not be comfortable” with the changes and that it could cause problems with the interview process for some courses. “On the one hand I would say it’s a marvellous idea because we remove all the uncertainty from the process. “The difficulty is condensing

activity that is normally spread over a six or nine month period. It would certainly be a very big spike of activity, but we would manage.” Switching to post-qualification admissions would make it much easier for universities to predict the number of students joining each year. Universities currently negotiate the numbers of home undergraduates they will take on with the government and can be fined if they exceed the limit too much. Mr Govey said, “The system in the UK is 50 years old. Everything else in the sector is changing ... UCAS have to change to reflect that.”

Ed#2 Nick RenaudKomiya Editor

Room for improvement As the debris along Oxford Road is swept up and the Fresher’s week celebrations slowly wind down, its time to begin thinking about the future. For those of you taking your first year of study here it’s worth asking yourself a few questions. You may not want to do so right now as you’re probably busy soaking up your new surroundings. But it is worth pondering a few things: What do you want to take from your time here? How can your experience be improved? Our very own university needs to ask some questions of its own, as this newspaper’s front page has starkly shown. The results from the most recent National Student Survey, which questions departing students every year about their time at university, were pretty disappointing. With overall student satisfaction at 79 percent, the University is now in the bottom half of all UK institutions according to this measure. No doubt the chieftains have been looking with dismay at the survey’s findings over the summer. Something will need to radically change if the experience of students here is to be improved. Getting down to the more nitty-gritty data, one of the main issues faced by your predecessors was a lack of good academic feedback. Let’s hope that the powers that be are addressing this problem quickly. The Mancunion looks forward to engaging with university staff and to find out how they can change this situation. Looking to this week’s issue, you’re certainly in for a treat. Flipping through the smooth pages of this edition you’ll find insights into the fine art of cotching, practiced by our very own Student Eye (turn to page 27). Further afield you’ll find the best laptops for students shopping on a budget (see page 13). Ever wondered who’s checking out your social networking profiles? Features Editor Richard Crook examines the phenomenon of ‘self-branding’ online (pages 14-15). Once again, whether you love the paper or hate it with every fibre of your very being, we want to hear from you. We will be printing your letters every week. Please send your correspondence to editor@mancunion.com. We hope you have as much fun reading this week’s issue as we did putting it together.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Yet another ‘burglar’ killing Third killing in Manchester in three months Umar Rauf News Editor

A businessman has been arrested for killing a suspected intruder in his Stockport home. Vincent Cooke, 39, stabbed alleged intruder Raymond Jacob on the premises of his £500,000 house in Bramhall, an affluent area of Greater Manchester. A second man, aged 33, has been arrested on suspicion of aggravated burglary after fleeing from the property. Police arrived at the house, where Mr Cooke’s family have lived for six years, at 8pm on

Saturday 17th September. They found Mr Jacob with knife wounds. Greater Manchester Police said, “He was given first aid by paramedics and responding officers but died a short time afterwards.” This is the third incident of its kind in Greater Manchester since June, raising questions over Tory-led plans to relax laws on self-defense in the home. In June this year, Peter Flanagan, 59 avoided charges when he stabbed an intruder to death in Salford. And last week The Mancunion reported that Cecil Coley, 72, was freed without charge after stabbing a burglar in his Old Trafford shop. Mr Cooke was relaxing when

he heard a knock at the door. He met Mr Jacob at the threshold and a struggle took place. Mr Jacob fell to the ground and was fatally injured, the second intruder fled and moments later, Mr Cooke’s wife Karen, 35 and 12-year-old son arrived to the sight of a man lying fatally wounded outside their home. The prime minister David Cameron has recently promised a new justice bill, which, he says, will “put beyond doubt that home owners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted.” The justice secretary Ken Clarke, speaking after the

Prisoner released early to attend freshers’ week Ruth Wildman News Editor

An 18-year-old woman who was caught with £800 worth of class A drugs in her bra was released from prison so she could attend freshers’ week at Middlsex University. The drugs were found concealed in Daniella Jade Lewis’ underwear after police pulled. Lewis admitted to the possession of heroin and cocaine with intent to supply, but said the drugs were not hers and that she didn’t think that the drugs were class A. She was sentenced to 18 months in a young offender’s institution, but was released after just three months so she could attend university. In her appeal last week she claimed said she would lose her place at university if she was not released. Her lawyers said that her release would allow her “to become a constructive member of society”. The court of appeal heard how she had been given a firm place at the university and the judge Mr Justice Lloyd-Jones ruled that she had “unusual mitigation” as she had secured a place at university, had been

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government announced plans to change the law on selfdefence in the home, said, “It's quite obvious that people are entitled to use whatever force is necessary to protect themselves and their homes. “We will make it quite clear you can hit the burglar with the poker if he's in the house and you have a perfect defence when you do so.” Greater Manchester police have said they will examine whether the two men were known to Mr Cooke. Sources close to him said last weekend that he is an “upstanding family man who was protecting his property and fearful for his family’s safety” Mr Cooke is on bail until October 17.

Raymond Jacobs is the third suspected intruder to be killed by a property owner in Greater Manchester since June.

‘Stay away from freshers’, police warn criminals Joe Sandler Clarke News Editor

Middlesex University, where Daniella Jade Lewis will be attending after her release from prison previously employed and had a good education. Mr Lloyd-Jones went on to say that, “the sentence was excessive to a degree whereby the court could interfere” and reduced her sentence to six months detention, leaving her free to attend university.

Police found cocaine and heroin in the student’s bra

Get the latest news from The Mancunion as it breaks. Follow @mancunion_news on Twitter.

Police have sent letters to 40 prolific criminals warning them to stay away from student areas as part of a campaign to keep undergraduates safe at the start of the academic year. The letters state that known criminals will be followed and stopped if seen in student areas and that police will visit their homes to let them know that they’re being watched. 80,000 undergraduates will arrive in Manchester for the start of the academic year at the end of September; one third of whom will be first years. Statistics show that one in ten students in Manchester will become a victim of crime while at university; either through theft, mugging or burglary. Mindful of the stats and the fact that criminals often see students as easy targets, Greater Manchester Police have said that they will increase the number of officers on patrol in areas like Fallowfield and Rusholme to provide assurance and crime prevention advice. “We are targeting priority offenders who have preyed on students and student properties in the past,” said Inspector Andy Sidebottom, who is leading the operation. “They have been sent letters and we will be re-enforcing that with a knock on the door. We will search and arrest

Police have warned prolific criminals to stay away from student areas. them if necessary.” The police have also urged students to look after their valuables when they’re out and about and to keep to well-lit routes when out at night. Speaking to students outside the Student Fair last week, they generally seemed unworried about the high crime rate in Manchester and appeared confident that the police would do their job. Nada, a fifth year Dentistry student, said that she had never been the victim of

crime while living in Manchester and said that there was always a good police presence in the area in which she lives. “If you’re smart, go out in groups and get proper taxis it’s pretty much safe,” she said. “I’ve walked back on my own late at night before and it’s been fine.” The operation, which has been dubbed ‘studentsafe’, will also look to recruit volunteers to help the campaign.

Umar Rauf Three men jailed for trying to recruit Taliban fighters from a stall in Longsight market are set to appeal. Munir Farooqi, 54, who said that killing British torrps in Afghanistan was an ‘obligation’, was given four life sentences and his accomplices Matthew Newton, 29, and Israr Malik, 23, were jailed for six years. “We will be visiting them to discuss these issues but I can confirm appeals are under consideration,” said Richard Egan, the lawyer representing the men. It was reported by the Manchester Evening News that the men are considering challenging the police tactics, which consisted of secretly recording conversations and undercover surveillance. They believe this was a contravention of their right to a private and family life, protected under the European Convention of Human Rights.

Millions of ‘contraceptives’ won’t work Umar Rauf Women in the US may have become unintentionally pregnant after the incorrect labeling of the contraceptive pill produced by the Alabama based company Qualitest. The pharmaceutical company has recalled 1.4 million packets of the contraceptive pill due to a packaging error that has left women taking an incorrect mix of drugs. This could result in inadequate protection for women taking the contraception pill, leaving

Chinese ‘hero’ pig cloned Joe Sandler Clarke

Scientists in China have successfully cloned a pig who was dubbed a hero after surviving for more than a month under a heap of rubble following an earthquake in 2008. 6 identical piglets have been produced using the DNA of the brave pig, who is known as Zhu Jiangqiang, or "Strong-Willed Pig", in China. Zhu became famous after surviving the 8.0 magnitude quake that killed more than 90,000 people in Sichuan province 3 years ago. "The wonderful pig surprised us again," said Du Yutao, the head of the cloning project, when speaking to the Sunday Morning Post. The piglets, will be paired off

Activists plan ‘Major’ protests for this winter Joe Sandler Clarke News Editor

The activists who led the campaigns against the tripling of tuition fees and cuts to higher education last year are planning a series fresh protests for later this year. Students from across Britain will head to London to join a “national education demonstration” in November while walkouts and occupations are planned to coincide with large-scale trade union strike action at the end of the month. An open letter published on the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC) website, gives details of plans for the protest action in November. “The National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts has called a national education demonstration for Wednesday November 9th, and we will organise for a day of mass direct action and walkouts to coincide with the strike,” the statement reads. Tabz O’Brien Butcher, from the group Manchester Against Fees and Cuts, claimed that protests in November would be part of a broader “fight-back” against the coalition government’s austerity measures . “With the

probability of mass public sector strikes, along with the calling for a national demo in November and a protests at the Tory Party conference in Manchester in October; there certainly seems to be a fresh wave of action,” she said. Activists dismissed suggestions that the student movement had been weakened after the government ignored large-scale protests and allowed universities to increase tuition fees to £9,000. They said that there is no danger of their movement falling away. Protesters from last year’s demonstrations said there is growinganger among young people after the government scrapped the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA) and announced severe cuts to university budgets. Amanda Walters, Communications Officer at the Students Union (UMSU), claimed that course closures and cuts to teaching budgets this year will help politicise students in Manchester. “For students entering the university this year, cuts will hit students harder than rises in fees,” she said. When asked why no one from UMSU was present on the list of people who signed the open letter, Ms Walters explained that this year, mainly due to financial constraints, the Students

Undergraduates second most vulnerable to meningitis Joe Sandler Clarke News Editor

Health experts are warning British students that their lifestyle makes them more susceptible to contracting meningitis, in a bid to raise awareness about the infection. The government’s Health Protection Agency (HPA) has warned that the typical student lifestyle makes undergraduates the second most vulnerable group in society, after children under five in terms of contracting the infection. Dr Mary Ramsay, head of the HPA’s immunisation department, said, “University bars and campuses where lots of students are in close proximity is an ideal place for bacteria and viruses to spread which is why we may see more outbreaks of these infections in this environment." The HPA will publish a

leaflet describing the symptoms of the illness and offering advice about how to reduce the risk of catching it. The leaflet warns students of signs including fever, severe headaches, neck stiffness, seizures, vomiting and a dislike of bright lights. “Early treatment of meningitis is essential to save lives,” the leaflet reads. The Students’ Union (UMSU) Welfare Officer, Hannah Paterson, encouraged students to look out for friends and house mates to check for signs of the infection. She said that people should be aware that many of the symptoms of meningitis are similar to being hungover. She said, “Anyone who is worried that they may have contracted meningitis can visit their GP or call NHS direct. More information about the infection, including details of the symptoms, can be found in the Students’ Union.”

Protesters in Parliament Square at the tuition fees demonstration last year. Photo: bobaliciouslondon Union is focusing on local issues (course closures, redundancies, rises in fees for postgraduate courses) rather than national campaigns. Ms

Walters also said that this year the Union would be fighting a series of “proactive anti-cuts campaigns”.

Council plans to cut Sure Start Umar Rauf and Joe Sandler Clarke News Editors

The future of Sure Start - the government initiative which aims to support families with young children - is under threat following proposals by council officials to close all council run nurseries and day care services in Manchester. If approved, the councils plan would end local authority funding for day care in children’s centres and nurseries across Manchester; resulting in the loss of almost 400 jobs. The news comes just moths after cuts to the council’s funding left 1,600 council workers unemployed. Initial plans to outsource day care to private and independent providers have been dismissed on the grounds that it would not be “commercially viable.” Other proposals include increased funding for early intervention and plans for every family with a newborn baby to be visited by an outreach worker coordinated with the NHS, in order to assess the needs of families deemed to be the most

vulnerable which would save the council money in the long run. “We believe our early years proposals will enable us to use our reduced resources to the best effect, supporting those most in need to give them the best start in life. And we believe the emphasis on outreach will help us and our health sector partners to identify those most in need, and start helping them and their parents,” said councillor Afzal Khan executive member for children’s services. The council intends to reassign 60 positions to its new outreach

Photo: iknow-UK, Michelle Simmons

Longsight market Taliban recruiters plan appeal

programme. Children’s services director Mike Livingstone insisted that there would be “no compulsory redundancies” as a result of the proposals. The plans have been criticised by members of the Save Sure Start campaign for lacking transparency: “We want an urgent meeting with Livingstone and Bernstein to clarify points in these plans which are not clear and are ambiguous,” said Joanne McCann, one of the leaders of the campaign. Ms McCann’s comments were echoed by Liberal Democrat councillor Marc Ramsbottom, who went on to argue that the council’s plans could force mothers on low incomes to leave employment and become full time child carers. “In focusing on outreach some working parents might slip through the net,” he said.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Goodbye first-rate accommodation, hello University of Lincoln ‘Look where you won’t be living’: Permanent accommodation costs three times as much as the cabins.

Ruth Wildman and Joshua Carroll News Editor

First-year students in Lincoln are sharing portable shared cabins, because they applied for accommodation too late. Lincoln University has set up a makeshift student village to cope with an “unprecedented demand” for student accommodation. They have set up 100 two-bed cabins with electric heating, toilets, showers and CCTV. Chris Spendlove, the registrar at Lincoln University, said: “We housed everyone in permanent accommodation who applied to us by 21st August, but we had rather a late surge in applications, primarily because we are recruiting a lot of students from further afield this year.” Around 3,000 students, more

Pink Floyd son’s future uncertain

than ever before, have joined the University this month. Staff at the University were even sent an email to ask for any people with spare rooms to accommodate new students, according to the BBC. Students who have been allocated the temporary accommodation were told to only bring essentials such as bedding, toiletries and cooking utensils. Mr Spendlove said the University was looking for permanent accommodation for those living in the cabins, “I hope the students will enjoy a festival-type atmosphere for a short period.” Ben Whittaker, vice president of the National Union of Students said: “Moving away from home for the first time can be a difficult time for many students and an unsettled or unsuitable housing situation can add greatly to that stress.” But there is a silver lining for

Lincoln University students are sharing customised port-a-cabins due to an accommodation shortage. Photo: Jonathan Cresswell

those who applied late: they only have to pay £30 a week for their cabins. Students in standard halls of residence are paying £97 a week self-catered A Facebook group titled "Goodbye first-rate accommodation, hello University of Lincoln" has

attracted 539 members at the time of writing. Shortages in accommodation have also been seen at Falmouth University, where 200 bunk beds were moved into bedrooms to ensure all first-year students had somewhere to live. Those

Vigil held for man hit by bus Solomon Radley

Joshua Carroll News Editor

Charlie Gilmour, the son of Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour, will find out if he can return to university next term. Gilmour is serving a sixteen-month prison sentence for throwing a bin at a convoy of cars that carried Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall during the anti-fees protests last December. The bin hit a car driven by a member of the couple’s security team. A Cambridge University spokesperson refused to comment on whether Gilmour would be allowed to return to study at Girton College. They said, “The issue will go to the College Council next term.” Gilmour also swung from a flag on the Cenotaph during the anti-fees protests last December.

A candlelit vigil was held on Oxford Road where the university student David Schofield was knocked down and killed by a bus whilst pursuing a thief who had stolen his mobile phone. The 21-year-old student from Liverpool John Moores University was taken to hospital late on the 10th of September, but died the next day. The vigil was held at the scene of the tragedy, exactly one week after the incident occurred. Prior to the vigil, a temporary shrine had already been erected at the site, where mourners had left Manchester City shirts and flowers. Speaking in advance of the ceremony, mother Nickie said that anyone was welcome to come down and pay their respects. She said: “We’ve been taken aback by the number of people who’ve come forward to support us and to pay tribute to David.” After the vigil, in which 200 people joined David’s friends and

sharing a bedroom are receiving a 40 per cent discount on the cost of their accommodation. Similar problems have occurred at Sussex University, where 200 students are on a waiting list for accommodation. The NUS said, “Whilst we

Councillors clamp down on Fallowfield Bars Ruth Wildman News Editor

Friends and loved ones laid flowers and hung Manchester City shirts as a tribute family his mother said: “There were so many people there. We lit our candles first and put them down, and all the boys held theirs’ up and were singing ‘There’s only one David Schofield’, ‘Schoey is a legend’, and ‘Blue Moon’” she continued: “It was just a beautiful sight, amazing…I couldn’t help but cry at first but then I wanted to be strong and enjoy the rest of it.” A charity football event featuring three teams of Mr Schofield’s friends was also held last Sunday at the Platt Lane training complex in Fallowfield, in remembrance of their friend and colleague.

Mr Schofield’s family has appealed for witnesses of the incident to contact the police. Greater Manchester Police are specifically interested in talking to the two women who told the bus driver that Mr Schofield might have been the victim of a robbery moments before the collision, and the cyclist who he seems to be chasing in the CCTV footage of the incident. However, any witnesses are encouraged to come forward. Anyone with any information is asked to call Bradford Park CID on 0161 856 3543 (or 3540), or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

appreciate the pressures placed on universities at a time when funding is being cut and student numbers are rising, it is unacceptable for them not to ensure there is adequate housing for their students either in university halls or local private accommodation."

New bars in the Fallowfield and Withington areas will face stricter licensing criteria under plans by councillors. In an attempt to reduce antisocial behaviour in the student areas, new bars may be subject to reduced opening hours. In June this year, as exams were finishing, there were 315 reports of anti-social behaviour within the M14 postcode area, which covers Fallowfield. The council is attempting to introduce the regulations to reduce the amount of noise and binge drinking. The number of new bars allowed to open may also be restricted, although there are no plans to restrict the operations of bars currently in the area. Fallowfield, a large

residential area for students, already has around 20 establishments licensed to serve alcohol and has been named as a “problem area” for anti-social behaviour. The restriction of licensing could follow assessments in the areas most popular with students. Permanent residents and the owners of bars and businesses in the area will also be consulted throughout the assessment. The level of crime and disorder in districts such as Fallowfield and Withington are factors in these assessments. The restrictions are part of a plan to ensure that licensed businesses interact well, making positive contributions to their communities. The council aims to “encourage a move away from youth-orientated, alcohol dominated establishments” in Manchester.

MUSEA Ceri Wills Societies Editor

The Manchester University Society for Emerging Artists (MUSEA) aims to cultivate a collective group of like-minded people who are both interested in and have a passion for the practice of contemporary art. It will act as a forum in which Manchester students can develop artistic skills, techniques and ideas through regular workshops and socials. We welcome all abilities and are a very friendly, social society. Our most regular event is our fortnightly life drawing session where we invite a range of models to pose for us. We try to include variety in our models, from female and pregnant to male and muscular. There will also be in attendance our very own life drawing tutor who can instruct members of all levels on how best to go about their work and we provide all the materials you’ll need to take part. Don’t be put off if you don’t feel your artistic ability is up to scratch

The new Societies section is looking for societies to feature, event listings and contributors. If you're in a society and would like to be featured, contact me at societyspotlight@mancunion.com. You will also be able to find me at 11am in the Students' union bar every Wednesday.

Event

Listings MONDAY 26TH

Society training Compulsory training for societies, 4pm in the Students’ Union

TUESDAY 27TH

Philosophy society Film screening of Tarvosky’s multiaward winning 1966 masterpiece Andrei Rubelev. Includes a brief introduction to the film by philosophy tutor Howard Kelly. 6pm, Students’ Union Engineers Without Borders Introductory meeting at Paddy’s Lounge on the North Campus from 5pm

WEDNESDAY 28TH

Society training Compulsory training for societies, 2pm in the Students’ Union Manchester Labour Students An audience with Sadiq Khan, Shadow Secretary of State for Justice, for the students of University of Manchester and Manchester Metropolitan University. 7pm in Academy 3. MUSEA (Art Society) Meet us upstairs in Trof in Fallowfield from 7.30pm to meet the committee and sign up for your year’s membership for only £10 getting you discounted life drawing and exclusive discounts.

THURSDAY 29TH

Fuse TV Introductory meeting where you can buy membership and sign up for training sessions and jobs on their shows. 4pm in Meeting room 1 of the Students’ Union PolSoc (Politics) A bar crawl starting at Owens Park bar at 8.30pm, with deals lined up in Font. Find out about future events and how to get involved with projects like the PolSoc magazine.

FRIDAY 30th

Ballroom Dance Society A free taster session for ballroom and latin dancing. Bring all your friends, even if they insist they have two left feet! 6.30pm in Academy 2. Philosophy Society Philosophy and feminism: the work of Simone de Beauvoir. A joint event with the Manchester feminists and the UMSU Women’s officer. 7pm, location tbc.

SATURDAY 1st

Drama Society Welcome party at Ram and Shackle. Join the society for £8 and get involved with performing. 8pm at the Ram and Shackle in Fallowfield.

MONDAY 3rd

Israel Palestine forum Introductory meeting at 5pm in meeting room 1 of the Students’ Union. A society aimed at ensuring a safe place for debate and understanding on issues surrounding the conflict. To include your event here please email a short description including time, date and venue to societyspotlight@mancunion.com

to get involved, we welcome everyone of any skill level and there’s no obligation to share or show your work as it’s purely for your own enjoyment. It’s a really great way to relax and get lost in your work, so I can’t recommend it enough even if you’ve never tried it before, just come along and give it a go. And as much as you think you might be embarrassed when the model drops their robe, you’ll be surprised to find that after the first moment or two it doesn’t seem odd at all. But we definitely don’t encourage giggling at the back. As well as the life drawing workshops we put on a range of other activities to keep people interested. In the past we have arranged film nights and gallery trips, as well as speed-drawing events, which are a little like speed

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dating except you are tasked with drawing your opposite partner in a certain way, be it with your nonwriting hand or without looking at the paper. One of the highlights of the year is our trip abroad, which last year took us to Madrid. It takes place after January exams, and this year we’re looking into visiting Florence in Italy. We take in all the sights and sounds of the city, including galleries and places of interest, plus the opportunity to explore the nightlife. More information will be available a little later in the year. We involve the society in all sorts of university events, such as always having an installation at Pangaea (the university’s end of exams

party), which last year was a fancy dress photo booth fully equipped with inflatable monkeys and coconut bras, as well as taking part in other events such as the Amnesty Sleep Out. Membership of the society for the year is only £10, which gets you discounted life drawing sessions (£3.50 instead of £5) plus exclusive discounts including 10% off food and drink at Nexus Art Gallery in the Northern Quarter. In previous years we’ve also included a free Trof Card in our membership, which gets you great deals in all of their venues, which we’re in the process of re-instating. We’ll be holding our first sign up evening at Trof in

Introducing Amaya, your Activities Officer I’m Amaya, Activities Officer for the coming academic year. This page is a wonderful new asset to The Mancunion and means that everyone will be in the know all the time about all things societies-based, which perhaps renders me slightly useless. Still, there’s a great deal planned for this year, so this is a little introduction from me. If you happen to have landed on this page by accident, and perhaps don’t know what a society is, here’s the deal. Societies are basically interest or action groups, centered around people who simply like doing the same stuff. We have a bizarre array here at UMSU, from world travel to Japanimation, we’ve got all

bases covered and if you’re not involved in at least one, you’re missing out. First up and perhaps most important on the events calendar is training for society committees. These sessions offer advice on a variety of skills, from event planning, to equality and diversity. They have also proved a good way of getting all of the societies committees in one room – a good opportunity for liaising with one another, swapping skills on how best to go gold etc. Then, in a few months time, the run-up to Pangaea will begin which means the return of the creative team. The team meets once weekly for a couple of hours, starting from about ten weeks before the

Amaya Activities Officer

event. Everything you see that decorates the event is handmade by this crew. Anyone is welcome, whether you happen to pride yourself for your bunting making ability, or whether you’d simply rather make a giant papier-mâché chicken than return to the library after lectures, please feel free. Nobody here judges and many of the meetings resemble a large nursery group more than anything else. Looking forward to meeting you all this year. I’ll be down in the activities office or up in the exec office if you need me.

Society training Ceri Wills Societies Editor

There is society training this week, which at least one member of your society committee will need to attend. The sessions have been split into five parts, run by various members of the executive and staff. The sessions are as follows: • Recruiting & sustaining

members - Gabby (Training coordinator) • Risk assessments - Naomi (Activities manager) • Equality & diversity - Hannah & Sylvia (Welfare and women's officers) • Publicity and events - Nick & Amaya (Mancunion editor and activities officer) • Fundraising - Will (RAG) The sessions are taking place in the Council Chambers of the Students’ Union on Monday 26th September from 4pm to

6pm, and Wednesday 28th September from 2pm to 4pm. You’ll be able to collect your societies handbooks at these sessions. Treasurer training will be taking place separately. If you are interested in receiving campaigning training please email Amanda Walters at campaigns@umsu.manchester.a c.uk. If you are interested in receiving lobbying training please email Mo Saqib at academic@umsu.manchester.ac.uk.

Fallowfield this Wednesday 28th September at 7.30pm so come along and meet the committee and sign up for your year’s membership. Our first life drawing event is taking place next week on Tuesday 11th October at 6pm in the Council Chambers on the 2nd floor of the Students’ Union and it is absolutely free! So come along and have a taster of what we get up to, we’ll also be providing cakes and wine. You can find our Facebook group at ‘MUSEA [Manchester University Society for Emerging Artists]’ and our website is http://musea.visualsociety.com, or email musea.mail@gmail.com for more information.

The Societies section is online Have you checked out our lovely new Mancunion website? If not, go to www.mancuniuon.com where you can keep up to date with what’s been happening in the paper, plus see all of our previous articles. Check out the Societies page for up to date society news and Society Spotlights plus a calendar of event listings for the coming weeks.

Robogals Manchester Robogals is a global, studentrun organisation that aims to increase female participation in engineering, science and technology through fun and educational initiatives. We’re scattered round Australia, New Zealand, UK, EU and soon we’re hitting the USA. We are Robogals Manchester. We conduct fun learning lessons for children at school using LEGO robotic kits in hopes to widen their horizons and increase their knowledge in science, engineering and technology. We are currently recruiting! And we welcome all gals and geeks to join the fun. For more information, Web: manchester.robogals.org.uk Mail: eejane@robogals.org.uk

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Ben Moore Columnist

The majestic Beetham tower

Britain faces the economic crisis as one; we are all in this together - or so we are told. The 50p income tax for Britain’s wealthiest- the 350,000 earning over £150,000 per annumpredates the economic crisis; if we’re all in this together, in what sense have Britain’s top earners been squeezed? To reduce the budget deficit, the cuts/tax split is currently 77%/23%, which seems disproportionately high. Recently, twenty economists wrote to The Times to say that the current tax rate is harming our economy and that it should be lowered. As Nick Clegg said at the recent Liberal Democrat party conference, the richest in our society must "pay their fair share". The libertarian argument for little, and in some cases no, income tax is something that is only seriously discussed by America’s Tea Party movement along with how we can prevent alien invasions and steal Iran’s rain. Western democracies tend to adopt a progressive taxation system; an argument that seems to have been won, for the time being at least. The question in contention is the size of the difference to be paid between better off and less better off earners. Interestingly, a recent letter to the Times from twenty British economists did not include an account of how an increased incidence of tax on top earners violates civil liberties. Arguments from the right now revolve around consequentiality. The liberal phenomenon, that a libertarian political philosophy coincidentally was also the most efficient way to allocate resources (and the fairest), has long been dismissed. We are repeatedly told that windfall taxes are taxes on jobs that will inevitably lead to unemployment. This has rarely proved to be the case. Scaremongering from businesses is all too familiar, especially persuasive with highly funded pressure groups lobbying hard. When Labour raised the tax rate for high-income earners to 50p, they were warned there would be a mass exodus to the Cayman Islands and Barbados, with decisions not (solely) weatherbased. This proved not to be the case. Some 60,000 families are set to lose their local Sure Start Centre. Cuts will hit the poorest hardest and the ‘middle’ have been squeezed. High time, perhaps, for the tax on our top earners to be raised. Whether we introduce a new tax bracket for those earning over £300,000 a year, or raise the existing tax

We are repeatedly told that windfall taxes are taxes on jobs that will inevitably lead to unemploym ent. This has rarely proved to be the case. 5p on the pound, the government needs to show the British public that we are indeed “all in it together”. If we are to survive current economic perils, our higher earners, instead of employing armies of accountants to find tax loopholes, might do worse than follow Kennedy’s famous exhortation: “Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country”. We also need to reject the notion that we cannot replace our ‘top skilled’ workers with people who are not deterred by paying 5p more tax on the pound, once they are earning over £150,000. In fact, in many professions, it probably would be more conducive to our economy if we did have people who were willing to pay tax; I tremble in my boots to think what we would do without our currently highly-skilled bankers, who just so happened to cause one of the largest global economic crises in the history of humanity! Is it a coincidence that the very same individuals who would rather leave a country they are citizens of than pay 5% more tax also brought the national economy to its knees? We cannot be held hostage to CEOs of businesses, of bankers, threatening our elected politicians if we dare raise the tax threshold. Such individuals are completely unaccountable to the British public; allowing these unelected minorities to dictate our politics is arguably the most severe threat to our democracy today. Lobbying from groups such as the Taxpayers Alliance to lower

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A highly taxing matter

the top rate of tax is not reflective of all top earners; indeed, in Europe there has been a remarkable feat: France’s 16 billionaires, along with the chair of Ferrari, have written to concede that they are willing to sacrifice a few yachts in order to rescue the country that provides them with a welfare system that gives them money if they are ever poor, which offers to treat them if they ever fall sick, and which offers to educate their children. We not only need to change the incidence of tax of course, but make sure people pay their tax. Obama promised multilateral action on tax avoidance, and it’s time to deliver. The coalition’s welfare reforms appear to display an eagerness to prevent people abusing our benefit system, but at the other end of the scale, they need to ensure people pay their taxes. The dichotomy of benefit cheats and tax avoiders shouldn’t exist, and the stigma attached to the former should be applied to the latter too. Britain’s companies save a fortune on giving medical packages to employees here, due to the state funded welfare system. Danny Alexander drew plans at the Liberal Democrat party conference to recruit some 2,000 tax inspectors and to try and fix any loopholes in our taxation system. This is a step in the right direction. Our system is based too much around people who want to take money from Britain and place it in foreign bank accounts. Such a system is essentially unsustainable. Our democratic system should not be dependent on these people.

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Why Dale Farm matters Paul Haslam Comment & Debate Editor

This week a judge scored victories for common sense and justice as he granted the travellers camped at Dale Farm at least until the end of the week to fight their forced eviction. The injunction protecting the travellers was seen as an affront to the law by some; or at least this is the line taken by those who support the move to evict the residents of Dale Farm for what are perhaps other reasons. For those who support the moves to evict the travellers: ‘Isn’t there equality under the law?’ is the question to ask. Those who do so risk missing not only the obvious answer to the question (‘no’, there is not, again and again those with political power seem to escape punishment) but also the point of the situation, and some of the dark unconscious regarding attitudes to travellers. Although others might paint it differently, I see Justice Edwards-Stuart’s ruling as a victory for both justice and common sense. The first of these is debatable, depending on your personal view and priorities - mine include, ‘not evicting the elderly and infirm from their homes, and children from the communities they know’, just so you know (this is an opinion piece after all). That such an act was first considered, then (temporarily, as of writing this) prevented, must be a decent indicator of both the highs and the lows that the British justice system is capable of. Communities expand, it’s what happens and it’s to be expected. Seeing as the government is a) selling off masses of the green-belt land for housing and b) all about community according to those at

the top, the decision to evict them - after ten years of living in the same place! makes no sense according to our leaders’ own rhetoric. The inhumanity of doing this to our own citizens should be obvious. These acts of intolerance against a group made vulnerable by their position on the outskirts of society should not be allowed by a civilised government, and it’s pleasing to know that there still exist counterbalances to the current punishing mood of the country, brought on by scandal, disorder and recession in this country and many others as we approach the middle of the second decade of this century. With the BNP recently making their presence felt in British politics, a dramatic rise in the visibility of far-right movements across Europe and the USA, coupled with what seems to be general global unrest, the protection of vulnerable groups is more

people do not like having travellers camped nearby. They are seen as undesirables, and this somewhat less savoury motivation is what I suspect has moved the government to press ahead, letting it be known unofficially that the travellers, once evicted, would be ‘kept moving’. People see travellers as criminals; terms which are arguably racial slurs (like ‘pikies’, often repeated from the film Snatch) are common fare. Whatever the facts regarding travellers and crime, the perception is undeniably there - but the acts being contemplated cannot be justified, because they amount to a form of ethnic cleansing. If indeed Dale Farm is a hotbed of crime, the solution is not to just shunt the unfortunate inhabitants off to another part of the country where they’ll receive the same treatment, but to increase the efficiency and resources of policing in the area, and to provide the opportunity for decent education for the children, just as it is for any other community in the country. To move on a whole community for crimes committed by a few is tantamount to punishing children for the crimes you assume they’ll commit. It’s true that traveller communities do, or are seen to, behave outside the norm for British society, but it’s hard to see how the solution to that problem if it exists will be found by what is effectively punishment of an ethnic group who lack the ability to legally protect themselves. Surely the sensible solution is to grant an amnesty in this case, given the length of stay which has been effectively ignored by the law up to this point, on the condition that there is no further expansion of the site for now?

important than ever. The argument of upholding the law is a hollow one - building without planning permission is often travellers’ only option when 90% of the time their applications for permission are turned down at the first hearing due to pressure from local campaign groups. And, unlike some, I do not foresee a general breakdown of law and order resulting if the travellers are allowed to remain people respect the law when it makes sense, or not at all, and I fail to see that planning laws are the bedrock of the stability of this country. These people have been there for ten years in some cases, and some are reportedly ill. Moving them would result in the government being legally responsible for rehousing them, so why bother at all? The real issue is the one which I haven’t seen directly acknowledged -

Do you have a different opinion? Think I’m preaching to the choir? Let me know at comment@mancunion.com

Earl So-and-so whinging about his unearned mansion having to be sold to the National Trust for the enjoyment of millions has, for some reason, a habit of tugging on the nation’s heartstrings. Fortunately, the BBC has done its bit in providing the PR for this scheme. With Mancunion readers being such studious types, you’re probably at John Rylands long before the delights of the daytime TV schedule get into full swing. With the BBC’s Heir Hunters though, you are missing a treat. The show follows a vulture-like team of heir hunters who try to discover the unknown beneficiaries of people who died before making a will. These relatives can then claim the money of someone they have never met – after the heir hunters have taken up to a 40% cut, naturally – before it legally goes to the Treasury. Instead of going to some third cousin twice removed, and companies that make loan sharks look like Florence Nightingale, surely this money would be better spent on reducing our deficit or ensuring that people don’t lose their jobs? While daytime TV is notorious for dressing up reactionary ideas as helping people, with Heir Hunters the BBC is helping to send approval for inheritance tax through the roof. And think of the advantages. Increasing the rate of inheritance tax to, say, 100% on estates over £150,000 would raise some much-needed revenue without putting a

crimp in the nation’s productivity. Rather than waiting for affluent relatives to give up the ghost, it would inspire people to work and earn their own income, as there is no nest-egg waiting for them. Social mobility would improve as money that would normally prop up wealthy dynasties or pay for Rupert and Portia’s school fees would instead go to the Treasury. Where you fall in life would start to depend on merit, rather than bloodlines. Our economic slump would be no more as the well-heeled would start spending money like sailors on shore leave – you can’t take it with you, after all. This would be a boon for both businesses and our public services and get some muchneeded capital sloshing around our economy. And the best part is that it would be unavoidable – you can’t cart a Knightsbridge townhouse or Cotswolds farm with you to Monaco or Hong Kong. David Cameron, albeit in the context of those on benefits, has said he wanted to end the ‘something for nothing culture’. I agree Dave, and where better to start than with the feral rich? Marx called for the banning of all rights of inheritance and Thatcher wanted to improve people’s work ethic. This policy does both and should therefore be palatable to both the left and the right. So cut the 50 percent tax rate if you must, but replace it with something fairer – a massive death tax. High-earners: breathe easy and stop hissing; with my solution you can keep your feathers. For now, anyway.

Half a pound lighter Craig Purshouse

According to Jean Baptiste Colbert, finance minister to Louis XIV, ‘The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing’. Well, the geese are hissing. A recent letter to the Financial Times from ‘leading economists’ has called on George Osborne to cut the 50 percent tax rate for earnings over £150,000. Apparently this is ‘making us less attractive as a destination for both foreign investment and talented workers’ and ‘punishes wealth creation’. Are these are the same ‘talented workers’ and ‘wealth-creators’ responsible for our current fantastic economic climate? Whereas if the country’s nurses, bin men and shop assistants suddenly upped sticks for Switzerland, I’d give it a week before we were foraging for berries and eating pigeons. If our management consultants, investment bankers and quangocrats did the same, at worst there would be no perceptible difference (others would gladly step up to their mark) and at best it would be a radical improvement – we wouldn’t have to keep throwing gargantuan amounts of public funds at them. However, despite my heart struggling to bleed at the plight of those poor unfortunate souls earning six times the

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median income, there are two convincing arguments against the 50p tax. The first is that the rich can avoid it anyway so it doesn’t actually raise that much money. The second that it is immoral for someone to have to pay over 50 percent of their income in tax when the government spaffed it away on pointless vanity projects such as high-speed rail or the Libyan intervention. There is some truth in this but the rich have had an easy ride of late, so if they are determined to pay less income tax, they should be delighted to hear my alternative: whack up inheritance tax. ‘Ah, but inheritance tax is universally unpopular with the electorate (a few crusties in the Socialist Workers Party, aside)’ you say, ‘that would never work.’ This I can see.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Student finance Ben Green Comment & Debate Editor I am classed as an ‘estranged student’ by Student Finance England. What this means is that I am estranged from my parents and, as a result, receive no financial support from them to aid in my studies. Fortunately for me and others like me, this shortfall is made up by a grant from Student Finance, without which I would have to find gainful employment instead of studying and attending the Union bar, and nobody wants that. Now, it is of course a very good thing that us estrangeders are able to access this money to support ourselves. However, it is deeply irritating and sometimes very problematic that the agency’s only speed setting seems to be sub-glacial. This, combined with the seemingly labrynthine internal structure of the organisation represents a problem for all students. I feel fairly safe in saying that every student I know has had some sort of a problem with Student Finance; some not even receiving their loan money until almost the end of the academic year! Having already applied for, and eventually received, student finance for two years running, I assumed that this year should not be too difficult. Indeed, it seemed that way to begin with. The Student Finance website offered a simple form to fill in with your details and asked whether your situation had changed. An excellent idea; my situation has not changed and I would like the same amount of funding which I had received the previous two years. Alas, it was not to prove so fruitful. I am far from the only one

Clearly some sort of change is necessary. But should Student Finance be reformed, or altogether replaced? to have such struggles with Student Finance, to be subjected to the sometimes hour-long queues when calling, only to discover that the person on the other end of the phone knows even less than you do. These problems are symptomatic of an agency which has consistently proven itself incapable of responding effectively to the tasks it was formed for. During my first year of study, it took around four months before I saw any student finance money and this was a widespread issue across the country. Admittedly, it has not been that bad either last year or this year, but there are still many problems. Whilst delays in payment are less common now, they do still happen; waiting times for callers are regularly obscene (I recall having to wait over an hour on one occasion – it became

a sort of competition to see which would happen first: whether somebody would answer, or the continual loop of tinny music would drive me insane), paperwork takes weeks to even be opened, let alone actioned and there seems to be nothing further behind the phone operators’ plaintive call to ‘just wait another week or two’. Eventually, after enough calls and delay, your demands to speak to somebody who knows what they’re talking about may be met: but only with a postal address. At no point is there any opportunity to actually speak to a decision maker, no matter how backed up your case may be. Clearly some sort of change is necessary. But should Student Finance be reformed, or altogether replaced? I think that replacement would be going too far: whatever would replace Student Finance would have teething problems which are likely to at least equal those of the current system. The answer should be a reform of the current operation. Firstly by making the system less convoluted than it currently is. It should not be necessary to provide the same information year on year and be assessed with that same information, for the same funding, year on year. It is an irritation in itself to the students, but more importantly, it triples the workload of the agency in one swoop. So long as we have a means-tested system, it will be necessary to test all new university students who wish to apply for Student Finance. However, it should be possible to indicate that one’s situation has not changed from the previous year, as the vast majority do not.

The importance of fridge discipline

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Ben Green Comment & Debate Editor Anyone who lives, or has lived, in a shared house knows that the communal fridge can often be a more intense political battleground than Harare at election time. It seems simple enough when you first move in; everyone has a shelf and puts their things on that shelf. But often there are not enough, meaning that two housemates have to share a shelf, leading to a sort of food-apartheid; the middle of the shelf becomes a noman’s land, the only bare space in the fridge and to cross it is a breach worse than hogging the washing machine. Then there is always one who buys too much food to fit on one shelf, and in their search for lebensraum initiates hostile takeovers of nearby shelf-space, thus leaving the deposed shelfowner to store his food wherever possible; giving rise to cells of shelf-less food seeking refuge wherever it can be found. By now the fridge has become a veritable war-zone. The old boundaries have vanished and food storage has become a freefor-all, whilst inter-housemate

Student Finance England: Change required

T that proud of… There are some things I’m NOT Like when I looked after my little sisters goldfish for half term… And then had to explain to her why ‘Bubbles’ looked so different… But, it’ it’ss not been all bad decisions. Like when I volunteered at ICON Development Solutions. I made a contribution to modern medicine – and even got paid for it Now that’s that’’s something I am proud of. 8 and healthy, healthyy,, you could receive If you are over 18 between £400 - £3000* for volunteering at ICON. The battleground relations become colder than the ice cube tray. Fights begin to spread from the fridge to other areas of the house. You start to notice that John’s shelf conquering habits are replicated elsewhere: he has begun colonising the living room with his socks and dirty crockery; Alice’s refusal to accept one place to put all of her things, instead leaving little bits here and there, just like her food refugees in the fridge.

The dispute has grown out of all proportion. It has grown to a Middle-Eastern depth of antipathy and mistrust. This is why I would urge everyone in a shared house to draw the house members together to act as a sort of UN to police the fridge, in order to avoid this fate. Anyone stepping over their designated shelf space will be dealt with swiftly. Be warned: misery awaits those who would plump for appeasement.

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Politics & Analysis Andrew Williams Politics & Analysis Editor

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The Thatcher effect – an unsuccessful quest for political dominance? As Denmark elects Helle ThorningSchmidt, its first female Prime Minister, Jessica Brown explores how far female politicians have come in establishing themselves on the world stage Once, they called her ‘Gucci Helle’ – relentlessly mocked for her effortlessly stylish approach to Parliament and her choice of high-end fashion wares. Now the cynics come, their thirst for a new era in Danish politics unsatisfied and unrelenting, pleading with her to embrace a new direction in domestic affairs. Helle ThorningSchmidt is not alone in having proved the doubters wrong and taken up the mantle of an innovative woman who has managed to ascend to the highest levels of political approval, but she is an impressive addition to a burgeoning list. Across Europe and the particularly in the United States, we have seen increasing numbers of women participating in politics at the highest level in recent years. Many will shudder at the thought of Sarah Palin and her radical Tea Party supporters rising to greater prominence, but the increasing column inches reserved for female politicians is undoubtedly becoming a fashionable alternative to dreary commentaries on cuts and taxation. In Germany, for example,

Helle-Thorning Schmidt: Picture of progress? Chancellor Angela Merkel has been praised for standing firm on the economy, the EU and nuclear power, proving herself to be the dominant political figure in mainland Europe rather than (as Labour MP Caroline Flint famously described her role in the Brown government) “female window dressing”. We can’t know the long-term effects of an increasing female presence in global politics due to an unfortunate lack of historical precedent. Until recently, the world arena has never paid witness to so many prominent, knowledgeable, strong female politicians and, quite frankly, commentators are at a loss when it comes to forecasting the effects of increasing female influence in mainstream politics. Commentators aside, the rise of women in politics has clearly affected ordinary citizens on a personal level. A Danish friend of mine explained to me that the election of Thorning-Schmidt has inspired hope and excitement across Denmark. “History has truly now been made”, she beamed. “I could not be happier

Osborne risks battling the backbenchers Rob Fuller “Don't underestimate our determination to win this argument”. This was the vow George Osborne made to the Festival of Business in Manchester earlier in September. You may be wondering which argument the Chancellor is focusing his steely determination on. Is it his old foe, the budget deficit? Is he intent on standing up and tackling, head on, the growing economic crisis in Europe? Or could it be that most serious of problems, regulating the building of houses in the countryside? Hang on, you might be thinking – that seems nowhere near as serious. But it is indeed the government’s new planning reforms that Osborne has firmly fixed his gaze on. The reforms, which have been deeply unpopular with environmentalists, are aimed at allowing property developers to build new homes on previously reserved areas of green belt countryside. Many countryside groups have come out against the proposals, arguing that it will threaten the existence of increasingly sparse green

space. Campaigners were given a boost when many national newspapers carried stories suggesting that there were potentially thousands of sites to build homes on across the UK without the need to dig up the countryside. Provoking the ire of pressure groups is one thing, but growing opposition from within Conservative ranks is perhaps a bigger headache for the Chancellor. Zac Goldsmith, a prominent backbench MP and former environmental activist, brought this opposition to the fore by asking the Prime Minister a series of tough questions on the proposals in the House of Commons. There is hope for Goldsmith, with the coalition government having backed down on related arguments before. A proposed sell-off of numerous English forests was halted following similar protests from campaigners; on health, the oft-debated NHS reforms underwent major changes as a direct result of opposition from Liberal Democrat MPs. As such, it would hardly be surprising to see the government back down here too. So why is Osborne so determined to win this argument in particular? As always, there are a number of reasons.

with the result”. But why has the female politician suddenly (or perhaps gradually, since the rise and fall of Mrs Thatcher) been propelled to the forefront of global politics? Dealing with everyday prejudices was of key concern, and prominent political women in the UK, such as Diane Abbott, have often highlighted the struggle many women face getting into politics. Policy changes in this country, such as the advent of all-female shortlists, have certainly coaxed many constituencies and local authorities into a position where any form of male competition is deliberately eliminated. Furthermore, it is possibly that changing social attitudes over time and a clearer elucidation of the position of women in all realms of life have ensured that the very idea of a female politician is now more appetising. Yet despite a clutch of influential women sitting at the top of political power in Europe and the US, the involvement of women in politics overall has barely improved. If we examine the global population as one

Firstly, there is an ideological explanation. The Conservatives are all about deregulation and a healthy dose of it would be seen as a fillip to the party faithful having spent much of their first year in office applying several layers of red tape to the financial services sector. In addition, the reforms could provide a much-needed boost to the construction industry. The sector has struggled badly since the recession and making it easier for firms to build new houses could aid a resurgence. The question, then, is how far Osborne is prepared to go to win what seems to be a relatively minor argument. Would the government really seek a fight with its own backbenchers for the sake of ideology, or for a dubious shot in the arm for the construction industry? Perhaps not. But it is interesting that Osborne has chosen this moment to tackle members of his own party. There are a number of controversial pieces of legislation in the offing which could be problematic for the government, and sparking a rebellious mood amongst Conservative MPs would make life even more difficult for Cameron and Co. The day after his speech, Mr Osborne was in Poland, trying to find a way forward for the European banking system. Discussions have ranged from further bailouts to Europe’s most indebted economies, to the massive and controversial step of the UK issuing some

comprised of 192 countries, rather than considering only a handful of Western liberal democracies, direct political participation by women remains alarmingly low. The l facts remain shocking; as of 2010, the percentage of female MPs in Westminster still stands at just 22% - hardly a figure that portrays a genuine sense of gender equality. The remarkable thing about many of the influential women we see in the media is that, in approving of legislation which is in some respects radical, they innovatively seek to give a voice to alternative viewpoints than those otherwise on offer from their male counterparts. Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachman scored brownie points with the American right for being the female voice of certain viewpoints (she is against greater rights for gay people, profirearms and vehemently pro-life) which we in the British media might regard as extreme. If we compare Bachmann’s career with that of Hillary Clinton, which is far more ‘mainstream’ in US political terms, it might be easy to surmise that such a breadth of opinion across the political spectrum does, to some extent, give greater exposure to female politicians. Rather than seeking to promote female politicians in a way that recognises their intellect and capability, for the most part (as in the case of Thorning-Schmidt) a maledominated media seeks to trivialise the female politician, thus nullifying the position of women in politics so as to make them seem inconsequential. Despite steadily growing numbers of female politicians stealing, clawing, dragging themselves into the limelight, the position of women in politics at a lower level – the most important level – is still in marked decline. As long as this charade of equating physical appearance to substantial politics continues, we can be safe in the knowledge that any attempt to involve more women in politics will reside at the depths of antiquated attitudes.

of its debt as a new, Europe-wide ‘Eurobond’. Any attempt by Osborne to become more heavily involved in a deepening Eurozone crisis will most likely be met with fervent opposition from the numerous Eurosceptics on the Tory backbenches. The strength of their voices could cause the government further problems – particularly if their complaints turn into votes against government legislation. Taking a strong stance on planning reform would, therefore, make it clear to any potential rebels that the government aren’t going to take opposition to their plans lightly. A crackdown on backbenchers would represent a change in tone from a government that has had to go out of its way to appease MPs from not one, but two parties. But it is uncertain whether or not this more muscular approach would prove to be effective. Tory MPs know that a significant rebellion could spell serious trouble for a government with such a small parliamentary majority, yet for many Conservatives this is an opportunity to exert some authority over a coalition which they believe is being too heavily influenced by their Liberal Democrat partners. But as Chancellor, George Osborne holds a lot of power, and starting a fight over countryside planning – the most unlikely of battle grounds – might just scare potential rebels into retreat.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Inaccuracy, hyperbole, distortion and downright GOP lies Andrew Williams asks whether the battle for the Republican presidential nomination is the most error-strewn campaign in political history George Orwell’s cynicism about the world of politics was never expressed as eloquently as in his suggestion that, “political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind”. Certainly, Orwell had a point – to some extent, politicians have always played fast and loose with the truth. That is not to say that all elected representatives are heretical fraudsters, determined to control our thought processes with deliberate untruths fuelled by malicious intentions. Indeed, it might sound counter-intuitive but, more often than not, our politicians are probably telling us the truth (in democratic countries, at least). Yet the fact remains – throughout history and in countries across the world, political life is littered with inaccuracy, hyperbole and distortion of varying degrees of seriousness. Now, with just five months to go until the first Republican presidential primary, the three frontrunners seem to be doing their utmost to reach a new pinnacle in political fabrication. The least serious untruths in politics are mere factual inaccuracies – unintentional untruths resulting from poor research or muddled figures. Despite the appearance of some politicians, they are not robots, and we can hardly harangue them for occasionally getting their facts wrong. However, when usually polished professionals make glaring gaffes, there are often amusing consequences – as Michelle Bachmann discovered to her embarrassment when she wished Elvis Presley a happy birthday in front of an enthusiastic crowd… on the anniversary of his death. Next, there is the famous ‘misspeak’. Misspeaking is perhaps most associated with Hillary Clinton who, having claimed that on a visit to Bosnia in 1996 she came under sniper fire as soon as she stepped off the plane, subsequently claimed that she had “misspoken” when footage emerged of the then-First Lady calmly emerging from Air Force One and casually walking from the runway. Again, the Republican campaign has provided us with a number of examples of misspeaking, such as Mitt Romney’s assertion that he saw his father march with Martin Luther King at a civil rights rally in the 1960s. George Romney did indeed take part in a civil rights rally at which MLK was present – but the two

never met and certainly did not march together at the rally. Acts of distortion are more serious. When politicians begin to distort the truth, they are deliberately concealing the true version of events for political gain – or, more often than not, to prevent any harm coming to their reputation. When rumours of tensions between then-Prime Minister Tony Blair and his Chancellor Gordon Brown began to emanate from Whitehall, the government’s spin machine threw the entirety of its considerable muscle behind attempts to deny the existence of an increasingly damaging rift. Day after day, Cabinet ministers were trotted out on political talk shows and radio programmes to assure us that relations at the very top of government were nothing short of blissful. We were lied to so frequently that many of us actually began to believe that the rumours were concocted. As recently as January 2005 – by which time their relationship was well beyond breaking point – one contributor to the BBC News website remarked with authority, “the only Blair-Brown rift is the one the press has cooked up so that the country will go against them”. Of course, following the demise of New Labour we now know for certain that the rift, far from an invention, was deeper than we could have ever imagined. As a country, we do not like being lied to, and especially not repeatedly. For years there was a blatant, unashamed cover up to prevent the truth from coming out. But was this malicious

The frontrunners in the race to take on Barack Obama next November seem to have completely discarded any notion of a commitment to the truth distortion? Clearly not. Not a single member of the electorate lost faith in the government as a result. On the contrary, we were reassured that the government were in control and that Blair and Brown had the country’s best interests at heart – even if, with hindsight, that is somewhat dubious. For this reason, I would argue that distortion, whilst undesirable, is in some cases acceptable. As you might imagine, the Republican presidential

Rick Perry - ‘Misspeaking his way to the White House?

Dear Mancunion,

Letter

I have to admit that if I was in my first days at university starting to discover the campus, making friends and getting involved in the union, I would not really care about what an obscure MP thinks of Hamas. And even though I am now a third year student and do care about what’s happening in the Middle East, I really do not understand why the new version of the Mancunion (which is really great and has loads of very cool content) decides to open the year with a front page on Caroline Lucas’ opinion on ties to the Palestinian group. The Mancunion makes me proud of our Students Union but the front page of the first issue should have been different - more welcoming I would also say - not focused on a group, which I assume many of the students have never even heard of. All of this said, I really like the new layout, the new website and the new section allotted to the students at Al Najah University. Keep up with the good work, Marco Schneebalg

candidates have similarly distorted facts throughout the campaign (far too many to even begin to consider here), but is this not simply the nature of politics? Undesirable, even objectionable, but potentially permissible. So far, not so serious. Yes, the Republican campaign has featured numerous incidences of misspeaking and minor distortion, but nothing crucial. Not, that is, until we look at the outright lies that have been scattered liberally throughout the campaign. On talk shows, in televised debates and even in conversations with ordinary Americans – Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann have each told lies as outrageous as reports in the North Korean state media that Kim Jong Il once shot a score of 38 under par on a regulation 18 hole golf course – including five holes in one. According to the website Politifact.com – which analyses the veracity of politician’s statements using a scale that ranges from ‘true’ to ‘pants on fire’ – the frontrunners in the race to take on Barack Obama next November seem to have completely discarded any notion of a commitment to the truth. Politifact

concludes that less than half of Romney’s statements during the campaign have been either ‘true’ or ‘mostly true’ – yet shockingly he comes out on top when compared with his rivals at just 46%. By the same measure, Perry scores 32% and Bachmann a frankly embarrassing 11% (indeed, a majority of Bachmann’s statements are afforded ‘pants on fire’ status). When he wasn’t branding social security “a Ponzi scheme” and climate change a lie, Rick Perry was making other wildly inaccurate claims such as his assertion that Barack Obama’s stimulus package “created zero jobs”. As for Romney, he has repeatedly argued that America “is inches away from no longer having a free economy”. These terrifying statistics are proof of endemic misrepresentation of the facts throughout an admittedly bruising campaign. The idea that some of the most recognisable faces in the Grand Old Party are prepared to lie so blatantly to achieve their ends and play to the Tea Party faithful has to be a tremendous cause for concern in US politics – especially if the victor is able to pose a genuine threat to Barack Obama’s presidency in 12 months time.

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Banking reforms to hit future graduates Scott McEwan Business & Finance Editor The Chancellor of the Exchequer’s Independent Commission on Banking (ICB) published its proposals for massive structural reform of the financial sector this month, proposals of the far-reaching sort not seen for over 20 years. For the purposes of avoiding another costly taxpayers bail out, the ICB proposes completely ring fencing the retail arms of UK banks responsible for students’ current accounts, overdrafts and small business loans. These reforms enable them to operate as normal and evade sitting the taxpayers’ risks next to those of the investment bankers.

Graduate entrepreneurs seeking start up capital may struggle too Furthermore, segregated retail sectors will be required to house greater levels of equity capital to protect against any losses. Overstretching the banks’ capacity to bear losses, from over frivolous investments and lending was one of the main reasons the financial sector

seized up in 2008. Retail banking will also operate under an independent board. Though the Government welcomed the proposals and decreed to follow the suggestions in full, complete enforcement has been pencilled in for as late as 2019. For students, the immediate impact will be null. However, the costs of implementing the reforms (estimated at an annual cost of £4bn-£7bn) and the increasing capital requirements will likely feed in to the price of borrowing in the future. By 2019, potential first-time home buyers may experience greater difficulty obtaining mortgages; graduate entrepreneurs seeking start up capital may struggle too. Such factors could

As business schools try to prepare their students for the corporate world, it seems that there is little focus on the role of technology, which is effectively underpins it. As we witness the closure of CD and book stores across the UK, it is apparent that business is shifting online. Furthermore, with the ever complex technology models used to structure businesses, an understanding of these so called ‘engineering’ technologies is paramount for students wishing to enter the business world. The managing director of a fast-growing school uniform business Perry Uniform, stated: ‘It is not necessary to understand the technology itself – there are experts who do this for you, but it is necessary as a manager to have a clear understanding of the issues associated with deploying the power of technology. For example: costs of development, time scales in developing and deploying systems, and training and educating users how best to take advantage of the new, technology based tools available to them.’ The prestigious Manchester Business School (MBS), ranked fourth in the UK and 29th in the world on the Financial Times’ 2011 league table for its MBA programme, needs (like most other business schools), to emphasise the importance of technology in its MBA programme.

generate stutters in the economy. There are also premonitions of an end to fee-free banking. Currently, roughly half of all current accounts charge a monthly fee, but free current account facilities may see their demise if the cost of reform is passed on to high-street customers. Yet the reforms are a reasonable step towards a more robust financial system. ICB remains with the notion that the brunt of the cost will fall on the investment sectors and retail sectors will benefit from a wash of clean cut competition. It’s certainly true that the costly reforms to banks will seem like a steal compared with the fiscal burden of another rescue.

It is necessary as a manager to have a clear understanding of the issues associated with deploying the power of technology’ Currently technology is not considered a key part of their MBA programme due to the different interests of their students. However, with the massive role technology is increasingly playing in every industry, is such a view naïve? MBS do offer technology clubs and conferences however, enabling students to develop an interest and awareness of its role in business. The MBS undergraduate courses also seem to recognise the importance of technology, with courses on information technology and information systems. Whilst progress might be slow therefore, business schools like MBS do seem to be heading in the right direction. The question is, will they be able to keep up?

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Big cat in the West Midlands

Technology know-how vital for business students Emily Bunting Business & Finance Editor

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Business News In Brief

Carmaker Jaguar Land Rover will announce plans for a new engine plant in the West Midlands. The site of the plant will be on the i54 business park in Wolverhampton and it is hoped that it will employ hundreds of people.

Home buying hardships put stress on home renters Rental costs have increased at their fastest rate for over a year, with the average monthly payments now standing at £713, rising by around £50 in the past two years. Recent graduates moving for their first job have accentuated the price movements while homebuyers also push up demand amid difficulties in gaining a mortgage.

Riots hinder retail operations Photo: Jonny Whiting

Business & Finance If you would like to write for the Business & Finance page contact us at finance@mancunion

Comment & Debate

According to the Office for National Statistic retail sales in August contracted by 0.2 per cent. The ONS reckons the main determinant of declining sales were the riots which forced some retailers to reduce their opening hours. Scott McEwan Business & Finance Editor

Up-Coming

Events A foot in the door of finance & business services Internships and placements networking event Date/time: Thursday 29th/1730 Location: Crawford House

Society Spotlight

MUTIS Emily Bunting MUTIS President The Manchester University Trading and Investment Society (MUTIS) is one of the largest and most popular societies at the University, recognised and reflected by the student union in awarding MUTIS Gold status. With weekly meetings starting on the 6th October in St Peter’s Chaplaincy at 6:00pm, hundreds of students are expected to attend in order to learn about banking and the financial markets, careers in the industry and to take part in trading games, funds and CV workshops. The primary aim of this investment society is to provide a platform for prospective, as well as seasoned investors to share investment ideas and discuss trading strategies. We also welcome people who simply want to expand their personal knowledge and increase their business awareness. Furthermore, we create a forum for like-minded individuals to network and meet industry professionals, both through the society's extensive alumni and our ever expanding corporate relations. After a fantastic 2010/11 year, MUTIS is set to increase its university presence as it has increased its presence in the financial sector. This year MUTIS has a number of prestigious sponsors on board, supporting it as a society for those interested in the financial markets. Such sponsors include: Barclays Capital, RBS, Price Waterhouse Coopers and others. Membership to MUTIS is free and is open to everyone from any discipline and any year. Website: www.mutis.co.uk E-mail: info@mutis.co.uk

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Laptops for students At the beginning of the academic year, thousands of university students take the plunge into the arcane laptop market. Moore’s law states that computer performance will double every 18 months so perusing the many options requires an understanding of which capabilities one wants and the compromises one is willing to make, between processor speed and price for example. So here is a sample of some of the most attractive laptops on the market. For the cash-strapped student, the Lenovo G530 laptop may be the most attractive option, priced at £199 from ASDA. With 1GB of RAM, and a basic graphics card, this is not a suitable laptop from gaming or for those who desire a high-end model. However this no frills machine is suitable for internet browsing, DVDs and music, boasting a good battery life. The low capacity 160GB hard drive could easily be boosted by an external hard drive, an inexpensive solution. The Lenovo has a 15.4 inch screen, 2.0GHz Intel Celeron processor and Windows 7 operating system- a list of features which make this laptop a very economic choice, so long as you don’t mind the somewhat limited capabilities. The Toshiba NB550D netbook is an easily portable machine with an astounding 10hrs battery life for all day use. First of all, as with most netbooks, the standard 10.1 inch screen makes this too small to use as main machine. Netbooks are also commonly woefully underpowered, but this impressive model boasts AMD’s Fusion technology allowing for good graphics. Watching HD videos, editing photos on the move and a strong inbuilt speaker system will all keep you entertained in lectures. Internet browsing and office tasks run smoothly enough. There is a good 250GB hard drive and an SD card reader, but no optical driver for CD and DVD use. Apple offers the MacBook air, a typically aesthetically attractive notepad from the titans of popular design. The sleek aluminium body houses a 1.8GHZ dual core Intel i5 or i7 processor and 4GB RAM, all facilitating fast internet browsing and office tasks. The powerful HD graphics card, 256 GB hard drive and 13.6 (or 11.6) inch screen ensures multimedia activities are not diminished either. However all these capabilities come at a cost, to the student’s wallet, this is one of the more expensive laptops on the market. To save money, refurbished laptops may well be a smart choice. Refurbished laptops are pre owned laptops that have undergone some reconditioning process, often sourced from corporate environments or customer returns under 3 months old. There is a stigma attached to buying pre owned laptops which does not exist with pre owned cars, even though the financial risk is vastly smaller with second hand laptops. Refurbished models don’t alter your consumer rights greatly and technicians undertake a thorough process including full testing, upgrading, cleaning and software reinstallation. Thus refurbished laptops can be an excellent market to browse providing one is not searching for the latest models. Aryan Safavi

Toshiba NB550D netbook

Lenovo G530

MacBook Air

The Intelligence Gene Aryan Safavi Science & Tech Editor Intelligence doesn’t just originate from hard study and late nights at the library, but in fact ‘a substantial proportion of individual difference in human intelligence is due to genetic variation’, researchers have found. The University of Manchester, in partnership with an international collaboration of research universities, has published findings regarding the origins of differences in intelligence between adults. Social studies have already shown the effect of environmental factors on intelligence, regarding upbringing and education; now this recently published report claims that the foundations of intelligence differences can be discovered in brain structure and function. Intellectual resemblance between relatives has always suggested high levels of inheritance, though earlier studies have proved somewhat inconclusive. Previous research,

which studied twins and adopted children, had concluded that apparent high ‘heritability’ for intelligence is actually the combination of genetic and environmental factors. They claimed that it is difficult to discern whether a child has biologically inherited their

intellect from parents, or whether the child has experienced benefit from parental support promoting education. Thus it was claimed that breaking up this pattern would result in data showing that intelligence is much less likely to be inherited. This recent study chose to use distant relatives, not pedigree but those who live in discrete environments and homes, to break up the aforementioned correlation and therefore conclude whether there was high inheritability concerning intellect as suspected. Through cognitive and psychometric tests, analysing past records and participant’s genes, data was gathered and examined for an elusive link between specific genes and intelligence scores. This study concluded that no specific gene variants were found associated with intelligence. Instead, human intellect was found to be highly polygenic (due to a combination of genes) and that purely genetic information could be used to predict intelligence in the future.

Changing tactics for nuclear fusion Leah Wong Science & Tech Editor Research laboratories in the UK and US have joined forces to bring us closer to nuclear fusion energy. The Science and Technology Facilities Council (STFC) intends to work with the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL) in America and the UK’s Atomic Weapons Establishment (AWE) on a project using lasers to fuse particles together to release energy. Traditionally, scientists have focused on using magnets in the process of nuclear fusion. This new method, however, fires a laser beam containing one million billion neutrons at fuel

pellets composed of forms of hydrogen. For a fraction of a second, this laser produces more power than the entire world uses in the same period. The laser compresses the hydrogen until it is 100 times smaller after which it fuses to form helium and free neutrons. It is these neutrons which supply the power. They are captured and used to turn a steam turbine. Energy is then generated in the same way as traditional fuel power stations. Researchers are aiming to achieve an “ignition”. This is when the fusion of particles is started then the reaction sustains itself in a similar way to the current nuclear fission reactions. Current estimates require the reactor to use 10

fuel pellets per second. So far, scientists at the National Ignition Facility- one of the laboratories at LLNL- have used a total of 305 fuel pellets. However, this is still a far cry from the one million pellets that would be used per day if 10 were fused per second. Past experiments have only fused particles when more energy is put in than is released, making it impossible to currently be used as a source of power. Scientists eventually aim to have a fusion reaction which produces more energy than is put in. This is known as “breaking even”. The collaboration between these three organisations makes this goal more realistic than ever before.

Eco-friendly biominerals grown in lab Leah Wong They Science & Tech Editor have grown the biological minerals found in seashells, bones and teeth in an artificial environmen. Researchers have successfully grown the biological minerals found in seashells, bones and teeth in an artificial environment. Biological minerals, or biominerals, have the property of being very hard which makes them useful. Ceramics- similar man-made materials- struggle to achieve the properties found in biominerals without using high temperatures and pressures. In nature, however, biominerals are formed in the conditions we live in every day. The ability to create these materials in these conditions is therefore potentially much better for the environment.

Biominerals in nature are normally composites of calcium carbonate- the main ingredient in chalk and limestone- and small amounts of a protein. The team of scientists, including University of Manchester researchers from the School of Materials, grew biominerals in the lab using calcium carbonate crystals. They replaced the proteins found in nature with nanoparticles to achieve the same effect. Testing of these lab-grown biominerals proved that they were harder than pure calcium carbonate, as is the case in natural biominerals. Scientists plan on continuing this research by replacing calcium carbonate with other minerals to see if it produces the same result.

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Anti-social networking Could you be sabotaging your job prospects or potential relationships before even saying a word? Richard Crook looks at ‘selfbranding’ in the world of social networking.

Richard Crook Feature Editor Hearing a student tell you, “I’m not on facebook” is a bit like someone admitting they’re a scientologist. Both will result in you feeling shocked, curious, and it will eventually distance them from you. But that is how big a deal social networking is for young people now. Facebook alone is so huge it could have had a UN vote on the Libyan intervention. Blogging and twitter have led to the free spread of ideas that inspired the Arab Spring. No need for bald Russian communists waving red pamphlets any more. But do students really appreciate the permanence and easy accessibility of what they are writing? What a daunting thought that in 20 years time our children might go on facebook and see all of our student shenanigans. How unsettling that potential partners can look you up and discover things you might like to keep private: like who you used to date or what your family are really like. But perhaps most seriously, how disturbing that an employer you hope might hire you can, with just a few clicks, ‘google’ you stumbling onto posts or pictures that seem to say anything but “employable”. When social networking emerged it offered the opportunity for free expression, putting a megaphone to the unfiltered voice of the common man. Now though, it appears to be doing just the opposite. Obsessed and restricted with who might see our content, the damage it can do our career and what it says about our identity, are we now simply on a personal ‘branding’ exercise? Selling a version of ourselves crafted for the attention of employers and peers? It's worth looking at how widespread social network screening is on the part of employers.

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Dangers of a digital footprint When you made your latest status update I doubt if you were thinking, “I wonder if this will help get me a job”. But it seems you probably should be. Careerbuilder.com reported that 45% of employers admitted to researching their candidates on social networking sites before hiring them. And it doesn’t stop if you’re lucky enough to get the gig. Just look at Kimberly

How disturbing that with just a few clicks, a potential employer can ‘Google’ you stumbling onto posts or pictures that seem to say anything but “employable” Swan, the 16 year old girl fired from her office job after calling it “boring” on facebook. Or 28 year old Matthew Brown, a supervisor for Starbucks. He was sacked for criticising the company on his travel blog, despite using a different username and having a limited audience. Some might argue that employers are well within their right to use your online material as a kind of second, informal reference. You could make the case that, despite the fact that office jobs like Kimberly Swan’s often can be boring,

employees are the front line of the company they work for, with a duty to respect it. But then, Michael Brown’s blog was for his family. Kimberly Swan’s facebook was for communicating with friends. How can she be allowed to complain that her job is boring to her friends in conversation, but not able to write it to them on a website designed for social interaction. Not at least without seeing it as a risk. Can’t be too careful Besides, it could go far beyond careless remarks that reach the boss: because tracking your ‘digital footprint’ is so easy now. Consider this hypothetical example. An employer is choosing between two equally qualified candidates that he will have to work closely with for months. He checks them out on facebook and notices that the first candidate is, like him, a staunch Labour voter while the second is a Thatcherite Tory. Believing he will connect more with the Labour voter, he rejects the latter. You can sympathise with the rationale of the employer, but the rejected candidate has been turned down because of information about him that is irrelevant to how qualified he is and only available thanks to facebook. And you may not be safe with a pseudonym. In a competition challenging you to provide the best idea for improvements to their online content, the DVD rental website Netflix gave all entrants access to their entire database. Despite making it anonymous, two PhD students from the University of Texas were quickly able to cross-reference the database with reviews posted on IMDB

(Internet Movie Database). It exposed private matters, such as people’s sexuality and political affiliations. What makes this especially worrying is that people, when under the guise of another name, usually decide to be more open than they would in the real world. Facebook- A second CV? Career advisors have clocked onto this, and will now strongly emphasise the importance of your online identity. It’s not unusual to be advised against posting racy or controversial blogs and images because you never know who could see it. Instead, increasing numbers of advisors will tell you ways to create a positive image. There are even companies, like Reputation.com, that will do it for you. They can swamp the first few pages of a search for your name with your website and career information while simultaneously removing your name from other objectionable websites. Sian Bayne, Associate Dean for Digital Scholarship at Edinburgh University, is enthused by this new opportunity. “We should be training students to manage their online personality. The fact that we can craft our online identity with the creative edge not possible for initial CV’s is very exciting.” If we have a lot to offer, this could work well, creating a professional looking identity you control. But what are the downsides? Well, we may find ourselves reluctant to write anything controversial for fear of putting off companies you may want to work for one day. Is it now the case that if you want a job at the BBC, you shouldn’t write critical blogs about their programmes?

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Famous cases of people forgetting the open nature of the net: Jan 1998: Former US Navy seals officer Timothy R. McVeigh was famously thrown out of the military after he identified his sexuality as gay on his AOL profile. The Navy contacted AOL pretending to be his friend in order to gain access and, under the old “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, was able to dismiss him. Oct 2003: Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook, launched a cruel and personal attack against his girlfriend Erica Albright. Though he did not lose his job, it came back to haunt him seven years later when writer Aaron Sorkin dramatised it in The Social Network. Oh the irony. Dec 2003: Journalists found pictures of Labour MP Chris Bryant posing in just his underpants on the gay dating website Gaydar. Nov 2010: Jason Manford quit his job as host of The One Show after being caught in a sexually explicit exchange with at teenage fan on Twitter. Aug 2011: Then Newcastle United footballer Joey Barton was given the axe by his club after posting messages on Twitter criticising the Chairman Mike Ashley’s lack of ambition.

If you want to be politician, should your Twitter be forever clean of references to drugs? At the rate social networking is expanding, the requirement may soon be to keep your politics centrist, your nights out tame, and even your friends ‘respectable’. I find that worrying. Consciously stopping yourself from writing a potentially interesting blog on a taboo subject or even just refusing to allow pictures from a stag night to appear sets a dangerous precedent. Do we really want an online community populated by heavily edited people with nothing but self-made propaganda to their name? It seems ‘branding’ yourself is becoming a paramount consideration. But while Sian Bayne appreciates those fears, she is more optimistic. “It’s definitely a problem, but we shouldn’t allow this issue to take up the whole debate. The internet can be a powerful tool for our CV if we use it well.” Social branding This kind of ‘branding’ is also apparent within our personal relationships. In the real world, varying social context will naturally shape your persona. When you’re with your work friends, you might be

very different to how you are with you’re with school friends. But on facebook, you can’t interchange so easily and you’re forced to create a universal identity for everyone you know. It’s an issue for students, especially because we are starting a whole new chapter in our lives when coming to university. New friends, new hobbies, new surroundings. Yet, if you were hoping to reinvent yourself, you’ll now struggle when your uni friends can see all the pictures and online correspondence you ever had with your friends and family back home. Boyfriends and girlfriends can read up on ex’s and your life at school on a scale never before possible. Thus, as with careers, the thought that goes into our personal ‘brand’ is not just centred on what we would like people to think of us now, but what they might be led to think of us in the future. You can’t ‘undo’ on the Internet. For example, once you make your relationship ‘facebook official’, there may be a part of you that dreads the possibility that one day you’ll have to change it back to “single” and everyone you’ve ever met will know all at once. Or it could just be that your mother pesters you to be her friend on facebook, meaning you might have to change the tone of your comments and pictures that appear.

The Internet can be a powerful tool for our CV if we use it well. Dr. Bayne told me that Google+ has noted this problem and attempted to deal with it. “This is an issue for facebook. With Google+, you can create circles and control who see’s what content”. Perhaps there is hope. Ultimately, the sheer enormity of social networking has brought with it some fantastic benefits and innovations of communication that are plain to see. We can express ourselves, air our views to large audiences and connect with people who are miles away. But with that scale of impact comes risk, both personal and professional, because your ‘digital footprint’ can be seen by anyone. With our mothers and employers scanning through our material, is a reverse phenomenon taking place? Social networking created openness and visibility, but this visibility could develop into a big brother style “everybody is watching you” culture unless companies note the current problem, like Google+ are doing. Otherwise, all that will be left is at best a neutral, inoffensive and unrealistically ordinary identity, and at worst a carefully constructed advert of ourselves.

BEARING WITNESS ACT AND PRAY FOR CLIMATE JUSTICE JOIN US FOR A DAY OF WORKSHOPS, SERVICE AND VIGIL IN MANCHESTER ON SATURDAY 1 OCTOBER Listen to accounts from our overseas partners who are living on the frontline of a changing climate. Speak out for strong government action, challenging injustice and being a voice for the voiceless. Pray in solidarity with our global neighbours for a fairer future for all.

Register now at: christianaid.org.uk/bearingwitness or call us on 020 7523 2264. For more information, email info@christian-aid.org UK registered charity no. 1105851 Company no. 5171525 Scot charity no. SC039150 NI charity no. XR94639 Company no. NI059154 ROI charity no. CHY 6998 Company no. 4269280 The Christian Aid name and logo are trademarks of Christian Aid; Poverty Over is a trademark of Christian Aid. © Christian Aid September 2011

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Fashion & Beauty Anyone interested in getting involved and joining The Mancunion's fashion writing team can contact editors Claudia Canavan and Roisín Dervish-O'Kane by email on fashion@mancunion.co.uk or join our facebook group by searching for "The Mancunion: Fashion and Beauty 2011-2012". We are really excited about the fashion and beauty pages this year and would love to get as many enthusiastic and talented writers on board as possible. Roisín and Claudia

Homespun Heritage Roisin Dervish-O’Kane Fashion Editor Homage was paid in abundance to highland heroines and English eccentrics on the Autumn/Winter runways, so whether this season you’re an aspiring lord of the manor, or a whimsical highland harlot, take note and indulge yourself in the fashionable delights of the Great British countryside. Christopher Kane and Henry Holland brought us handicraft touches such as blanket stitching and crochet, with Holland bringing his signature bold use of colour to the trend. The palette adopted by Rodarte was considerably more reserved, but with stunning midi-length dresses in intricate cream crochet, complemented by fringed suede boots to create a sumptuous, folksy aesthetic; the result was equally as impressive. Moncler went all-out this season with a rather gauche, huntinginspired collection complete with hound’s tooth Wellingtons, tails and beagle puppies. However, the Autumn/Winter collection by Junya Watanabe brings more inspiration for wearable heritage menswear: mismatched tweed was set off by accents of brown velvet, accessorized with peaked caps and finished with a simple desert boot.

Beauty

When shopping the trend, keep in mind the key pieces: a well-fitted tweed hacking jacket or cosy duffle in a classic heritage fabric would be a perfect winter investment, as would warm autumnal knits, extra points for those of you who snuggle up in a polo neck, undoubtedly this season’s essential cut. A great pair of well-fitting trousers in a rustic-toned corduroy are a simple nod to the trend, just as chic on women as they as are classic on a man, especially when topped off with a pair of sturdy, buckled brogues, ideally in a warm brown leather. Texture and layering are key to this look, exhibited beautifully at the Marni and Fendi shows, where diverse print and texture were used in harmonizing hues, ensuring that the overall result was one of artfully haphazard elegance. Look out for tartan, plaid, hound’s tooth and Prince of Wales check, and throw in some touches of aged leather. For those of you after a more ladylike interpretation, look to Christian Dior’s collection for inspiration and throw in accents of crochet, faux fur and a smattering of sequins for good measure. Raid second-hand shops and get scrambling for cheap, original pieces, and most importantly, remember not to fuss too much over your look, an air of effortlessness is the most crucial accessory for the hauteheritage aesthetic. After all, this autumn is all about celebrating our very own innate and oh-so-English eccentricity.

New M.A.C. colour collaboration Isabelle Dann Beauty Editor M.A.C. cosmetics are collaborating with designer, muse, and general fashion icon Daphne Guinness. The aesthetic of the collection will be one that celebrates colour, inspired by Daphne’s eclectic modern personal style.

Andro-Glamour Feel the beat Claudia Canavan Fashion Editor Conceived of and pioneered by the original instigators of the Beat generation as an outward display of an inward reaction against the oppressive traditional values of Fifties America, the first notion of modern Bohemian dressing has extended an influence far into today’s vision of what it is to be cool. An antithesis of the voluminous shapes and bold colours of decadent glam, this pared down, simple yet stylish approach to dressing has been quietly present since its inception at the hands of the likes of Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg, and is now being embraced with vigour by the mainstream for A/W 2011. Slimline, form-fitting tailoring is the pivot of the look- lines should be long, trousers skinny and the cold combated through multiple, light layers (polo necks covered with thinly knitted tank tops are exemplary of Beat style). A moody palette is vital- stormy greys, deep navy blues along with a nod to monochrome should not be too far strayed from, with an exception made for a few pieces in primary colours as displayed by Prada.

Rough, natural fabrics are in keeping with the unrefined aesethic, with an emphasis on practicality and durability. Hair is unkempt, adorned with shaggy fringes and generally epitomises a ‘devil may care’ attitude. The referencing of Beat Chic by ultimate British brand Burberry in the form of a straight cut, khaki utility coat reveals a penchant for this roguish revival even in the most elite of design houses, whilst Phoebe Philo at Celine has debuted form fitting polo necks with fine jumpers in an angsty blue hue. The lack of any ornate fussiness on these Beat staples make them easily imitatable for those of us lacking a few grand to spare on pieces for the colder months- a simple pair of skinny Levis combined with a plain yet flattering cotton t-shirt (of which American Apparel are masters) is an easy way to channel the trend. And so, whilst very few of us can claim immunity to the accepted societal values thrust at us in the manner of the original Beat crowd, we can at least refuse to be bogged down by unnecessary, overly decorative clothing and forgo the morning hair routine, which, let’s face it, is rendered entirely useless by the incessant Manchester rainstorm anyway.

Roisin Dervish-O’Kane Fashion Editor Throughout the Autumn/Winter collections, gendered lines have been increasingly blurred as the fashion tide sweeps in an irresistible aesthetic of androgyny. The abundance of classic tailoring as eveningwear was impossible to ignore and in this season’s moody, monochromatic palette, slick trousers and a sharp, well-cut jacket are the essential ingredients for sartoriallysussed boys and girls looking to create a sleek and understatedly sexy evening look. Androgynous dressing can seem daunting, but for aspiring girls-dressedas-boys, the runways were awash with inspiration. From oversized trousers and mannish jackets at Dolce and Gabbana to Paul Smith’s statement tunics and Balmain’s suggestive, midnight-hued minimalism, this season’s androgyny arrived in a range of wearable guises. For those shying away from the idea of mannish dressing for evening wear, look to Temperley, Chanel and Michael Kors for your inspiration and inject a healthy dose of sensuous femininity into the androgynous trend: think lace detailing, a plunging neckline or nod to the fetishism of the season with a no-nonsense killer heel. Nor should the lack of colour be limiting: Dolce and Gabbana’s ornate

All the key pieces for your autumnal take on glamorous androgyny are timeless wardrobe staples sequins added interest to their monochromatic colour scheme, as did Moschino’s gilded embroidery, whilst Stella’s snatches of sheer and polka-dot saw the her toying with gender roles, resulting in a pervasive vibe of playful, luxurious androgyny, imbued with subverted sex appeal. The menswear collections were also rife with moody tones and slick tailoring. Mix midnight hues with classic black á la Giorgio Armani or channel Japanese menswear heavyweights ATO with a nod to the Parisian dandy in double-breasted blazers, classic belted overcoats and loose tailoring. As always, texture is key: an inky-toned satin lapel or a velvet blazer (incidentally, the statement fabric

for men’s evening wear this season) will instantly update your look, whilst a great pair of simple black leather shoes (no scruffy trainers allowed please gentlemen) will keep your look timeless and fuss-free. If you still need convincing that you can and should experiment with androgynous evening wear this season, let’s talk sensible shopping. All the key pieces for your autumnal take on glamorous androgyny are timeless wardrobe staples. Girls, if you invest now in a chic black jacket, cigarette pants and an unashamedly provocative black stiletto, they shall take you day to night, from work to wherever for years to come. The same logic applies for men (minus the stilettos). There is some serious fun to be had with this look, as the joy of androgynous dressing lies in the intricacies of the styling. When a woman is looking simplistically chic in a sleek, black jacket and a pair of 7/8th’s, she has the perfect canvas to completely sex-up the rest of her look. Think Marlene Dietrich smouldering in a top hat and YSL’s original ‘Le Smoking’ suits. We’re talking red lips, voluminous waves, and enough bad girl attitude as you dare. For the boys, you have our express permission to unleash your inner debonair and rock your own brand of moody androglamour with as much brooding swagger as you wish.

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Vibrant and deeply pigmented hues, as well as dramatic textures, are expected from the upcoming collection, which will be released in the UK in January 2012. Previously, M.A.C. have teamed up with Lady Gaga, Alexander McQueen, Cindy Lauper, Cindy Sherman, Liberty of London, and even Barbie.

ion? e Beauty sect ns or articles. writing for th y ideas, opinio an ith w Interested in m ion, The .co page with fash @mancunion g our shared Email beauty in lik by ok Facebo . Also, find us on auty 2011-2012 shion and Be Fa : on ni cu Man

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

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Interview

KELzO graffiti guru and car killer

A brief history of graffiti in Manchester

Phoebe Chambre Arts & Culture Editor Phoebe Chambre: Is kELzO your preferred moniker, for example do your friends call you kELzO – kElz perhaps? kELzO: My friends call me kELzO or by my real name. PC: Where does this name come from? K: I created the name kelzo from other graffiti art tags when I was a kid, Kel is a NYC graffiti artist who was featured in the Thames and Hudson book Subway Art. When I first got into graff a friend of mine wrote Ridzo, so I took the Zo off his name and added it to kel to create kelzo. I liked these letters together and the name itself is unique, I have never heard of another graffiti artist called kelzo anywhere in the world, which is how I like it.

We spoke to kELzO, a founding member of the Inner City Artists and legend in his own right on Hulme, growing up with graffiti, and going legal.

crazy at times but I wouldn't change my experiences of it for the world, it was cool the way I handled it.

PC: Like the subway taggers in New York, you seem to have a bit of a thing for using cars, automobiles, even the odd train, as canvas. In fact weren’t you once referred to as ‘car killer’? K: The cars that I painted were stolen burnt out cars dumped in the old Hulme area in the mid 90's, I knew they would be taken away to the scrap yard so I decided to paint them before they went. I also wrote car killer on them just for the photo it was a bit of a joke. I love painting vehicles though, vans and trucks being my favourite, I love seeing them pull off once I have finished, to see my artwork travelling around is a great thing. It’s like little pieces of me flying around the globe, it's cool. PC: Where and when did you live in Hulme? K: I have lived in Hulme since 1974 and still live there today, right next to the University. PC: How did you feel about living in Hulme?

Way back when, the (almost) recent riots that spread through the UK like flames really shocked and saddened me. I know that firstly, I am not alone in expressing distaste at these events, and secondly that riot comment is archived news now, lining the bottom of your fish bin or fertilizing your compost heap. And yet I cannot quite let go the bandwagon that was leapt onto by all of sundry wanting ‘free stuff’. Comment on the state of our social system? Or comment on human nature gone awry on an overfed diet of shiny adverts? But, there’s still a but. Post-riots the glass was swept up, windows boarded over, and brooms brandished. And all by city-dwellers leaping to the salvation of their city as if to compensate for the domestic violence shown to it from a violent drunk of a public. And once these boards had been nailed up and swept under, masking a fractured city underneath, the plaster cast began to be decorated by eager friends. They amassed with felt tips, and spray cans, and stickers to brighten the blank surfaces. The graffiti was bright; the I HEART MCR stickers were plenty and all in support of a slighted city. Smoking Gun spotted a protestprotester inking up on one such board, and decried it ‘bizarre’, but is it really? This week, we took a brief look at the history of Manchester through an aerosol, and began to understand what a shake of the can means to this city.

PC: What did it feel like when you were started painting?

K: I loved the old Hulme, it was a great place to live and play, the people who lived there over the years, mostly outsiders who dossed or lived for free helped make me the person I am today. The old Hulme educated me with its madness and its creativity, I wish the old Hulme was around today the new Hulme is boring and has no sense of community. PC: Do those years feel like a significant time in your life, now? K: The first 28 years of my life was spent in the old Hulme and I am glad I survived it, I made the right decisions in regarding to focusing on painting and being creative and not being influenced by the negativity at that time, a lot of my friends have passed away from drink and drugs. Looking back it was really

K: When I was a kid I hated the system and the way it had dealt me a shit hand, writing graffiti back then upset everyone except those who did it, so we just loved doing it. We became famous amongst those who did it and they were the only people that mattered. PC: Did graffiti take off in Manchester in Hulme? K: From growing up in the 70's Hulme has always had graffiti mostly political or band related. I remember in the early 80's I saw a huge “Free Bobby Sands” painted on the motorway and on the other side “Julian Cope” in big white letters, I loved it but never knew what either of them meant or who did it. Graffiti started appearing properly in Hulme around 1993, and became an epidemic in the area up until 1998. PC: What was the atmosphere the day of the first Jam in ‘95?

K: Like most parties in the old Hulme, it was special, there was always parties in Hulme and always a great atmosphere. We all appreciated each other so when these big outdoor events were put on by me everyone would turn up and watch the graffiti art being created. I wanted to have big street parties so people could turn up and enjoy seeing graffiti art being done LIVE. PC: Was the slogan ‘Give kids opportunities and the mayhem will end’ an ICA creation? Do you remember writing this? K: This was written at the time when gun crime in south Manchester was epidemic, I had a close call in Hulme around 1993 when the phone box I was in was shot to pieces. It wasn’t aimed for me but I had to endure it and I came away unharmed. At that time young kids in neighbouring Moss Side were into drugs and guns and it was out of control, so the statement you mention was about giving kids more positive things to do and the gang warfare will end. Gun culture ends in death, I know of many people I grew up with who are dead from being shot. PC: How does Hip Hop feed into graffiti? K: The Hip Hop culture started with poor people making use of what they had or didn't have at their disposal, whilst encouraging young people within their community to be creative funky and to express themselves in a positive way. Graffiti art was the visual aspect of this, Breakdancing, Dj'ing and Mc'ing was the physical. People with no money creating a vibrant energy for their community. PC: Do the Hulme years still inform your work/the graffiti around Manchester now? K: Everything I have done in my life inspires me everytime I paint, especially the time I painted in the old Hulme, I still have the soul of the old Hulme inside me. When I paint it's them days of old that encourage me to still continue, even though today I paint ONLY in places I am allowed to.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

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Madchester innit? Dani Middleton Arts & Culture Editor

For the newbies, you may not have seen Manchester in the daylight hours yet: it’s grey and drizzly with a splash of colour every few metres as has been so marvellously illustrated on the previous page. Manchester is famously nicknamed the Rainy City, and when you first arrive it’s hard to see anything but the concrete blandness, especially if you’ve moved here from a more glorious and green setting. However, ask anyone who’s been here for a year or more and they’ll probably describe the city with the love and fondness of an old friend. The Rainy City has an incredible history of music and culture that has left an imprint on the city, its inhabitants and thus everyone who comes here. "For Manchester is the place where people do things.... 'Don't talk about what you are going to do, do it.' That is the Manchester habit. And in the past through the manifestation of this quality the word Manchester became a synonym for energy and freedom and the right to do and to think without shackles." From "What the Judge Saw" by Judge Parry, 1912. Yes that quote was from a billion years ago but it still applies, Kevin Cummins uses it in his pictography, Manchester:

The Happy Mondays gave us baggy clothes, extracurricular substances, Bez, and music to fill the Hacienda

Looking for the Light through the Pouring Rain. Cummins is famous for his close relationship with bands as a photographer for NME through Manchester’s musical glory years from the 70’s to the 90’s. The quote does aptly sum up the mindset of Mancunians, the natives and those who adopt ‘Madchester’ as their home. In 2011, Manchester is a different place to the one that spawned The Smiths, The Happy Mondays, Joy Division, Oasis, The Stone Roses and so many others, the bands that we now know to have influenced not only music but the way whole generations saw the world. The Happy Mondays gave us baggy clothes, extra-curricular substances, Bez, and music to fill the Hacienda, a venue that made Manchester an epicentre of music and rave culture in the 90’s. Now Manchester has Sankeys, The Warehouse Project and Canal Street at the helm of its musical frontier. Instead of the raw nature that comes with bands, its grime comes with a heavier beat, crop tops and peaked hats, but the music is still influencing the culture of a generation. Canal Street aka The Village is a world of its own and its influence goes way beyond this city, the culture of its few streets has given way to a whole new way of life. This is Manchester 2011, let it sweep you off your intoxicated feet.

Photo: Jonathan Keenan

Edward II by Christopher Marlowe at the Royal Exchange

The Hacienda

Review

Kiss not my hand Andrew Campbell Theatre Editor

The Royal Exchange dedication to period detail for this production of Christopher Marlowe’s Edward II, updated to the 1950’s, cannot be doubted. For half an hour before the play is scheduled to begin a jazz band fills the building with music and actors are on stage smoking cigarettes, dancing and drinking coffee. King Edward, played by Christopher New, has inherited the thrown from his father but instead of being preoccupied with leadership he is obsessed with his friend Piers Gaveston, played by Samuel Collings. The king’s infatuation with his friend enrages his noblemen, destroys his marriage and sets him on course for war with his former allies. The play explores the role of an individual’s emotions and passions within political systems. King Edward is suffocated by his responsibility and unable to balance his personal desires with his political responsibilities. Setting the play in the 1950’s allows the director to vividly demonstrate Edward’s homosexuality and contrast Edwards’s desires with the reality of his political life. The play opens with Gaveston, young, in tight jeans and a tshirt, relaxing in a Parisian Jazz Bar; Edward invites him to come out of exile and back to England. Paris is quickly contrasted with the drab 1950’s England with its red-faced old men in suits. New and Collings are electric to watch as the

Edward II Royal Exchange Until Saturday 8th October Tickets are available for £5 to students and those under 26 on Mondays.

unbalanced king and his lover. New plays Edward as every bit the ranting and raving madman, fixating on Gaveston to the expense of everything else in his life. The lively staging does at times feel out of pace with what is occasionally turgid writing. The first three acts contain unnecessary comings and goings of characters that quickly become repetitive. The tension of the first half an hour is not sustained and the climax before the interval comes as a relief. The final two acts are more dynamic although characters are still shunted between countries and settings to little dramatic purpose. There is a similar problem with 1950’s setting. The energy of the jazz interludes, the clever use of radio and films projectors and the fantastic evocation of Edward and Gaveston’s relationship cannot hide the fact that large parts of the play consist of bland and interchangeable noblemen spouting dull

“Alas, Sir Mortimer” dialogue. The idea of an establishment unsettled by the dawning of a new generation, represented by the progressive jazz bar, is undermined by the blandness of Edward’s opponents and the outrageousness of his own behaviour. The noblemen don’t provide an ounce of Machiavellian intrigue between them and you are left feeling that they don’t react to the situation entirely inappropriately. The culmination of the play is undoubtedly powerful, Edward, stripped of his throne and imprisoned by his former allies is visited by Lightborn, also played by Collings, hired by the nobles to kill him. Lightborn brutally kills Edward, evoking the constraints that political realities have put on his personal desires. The sight of Edward in the final scenes, hooded in a jump suit being blasted with music is clearly suggestive of Guantanamo Bay. The comparison falls flat but, as anyone who saw the Royal Exchange’s ‘War on Terror’ production of Macbeth will know, the theatre does seem to have a weakness for these actually rather cheap points. This production comes in the wake of the Royal Exchange and director Toby Frow’s successful staging of Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus last year. This attempt to repeat the trick with a modern setting for this 16th-century play is engaging and entertaining although it could have benefited being bolder in cutting parts of Marlowe’s work.

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Music

Our Survey Says… We wanted you to know a little bit about us, you probably don’t. Kicking us off in style is new Music Editor Joe Smart.

Which three things would you want whilst stranded on a Desert Island? It’s stupidly generic for a music editor but I’d have to take an iPod, although the battery probably wouldn’t last the day… Maybe a wind up radio or something rubbish like that. People never give answers like ‘a boat’ or a ‘lifetime supply of food’, but I think I’m going to buck the trend and ask for both, that way I can use the boat to go and get my charger and have a Venice Pizza.

Five albums that defined your music taste? The Strokes – Is This It? Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I am That’s What I’m Not Kanye West – College Dropout Reflection Eternal – Train of Thought A Tribe Called Quest – Midnight Marauder

Genre that should have died? Indie-Electro – come on now, be reasonable.

Dream festival line-up?

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Do you have cutting edge opinions on music? Was Smash Hits! such a bad thing? Was our Anthrax review deadly? To spout your opinions, judge the worth of a band and even get on the odd guestlist, email us at music@mancunion.com and join our Facebook group The Mancunion: Music Section.

This question is ridiculous! There’s too many to name, but a few that would definitely make the grade are: Biggie - A back-from-the-dead-show, whilst unlikely to ever happen, would be sick. If you like Hip Hop or want to get into Hip Hop he’s the first port of call, the undisputed Daddy.

The Academy this week... Monday – Academy 2 Metronomy bring their Mercury nominated third album The English Riviera to Academy 3. A firm festival favourite of recent years, the light show may be low budget, but is not to be missed. Saturday – Club Academy Sylosis may now have a new (well, newish) frontman, but they’re still as crushingly heavy. One of British metal’s brightest hopes, with Maleface also on the bill, expect your face to be melted.

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Glum Drums Just over a year since the release of their critically acclaimed, self-titled debut, The Drums are back with Portamento, their palpably unremarkable second effort. Given the turbulence of the band's recent past (losing a guitarist, and dealing with the upheaval that came with it), you might expect Portamento to be musically a very different record to The Drums. It isn't: it merely sounds like a moodier re-run. Despite this, 'Book of Revelation' is still a strong opener, retaining the melancholy catchiness and infectious bass of their first album. "I've seen the world, and there's a heaven and there's no hell", lead singer Jonathan Pierce assures us during the chorus; unfortunately, listening to the album's other 11 tracks arguably proves the opposite. By the time we reach the fourth track ‘Money’, the album's first single, the songs already begin to blend into a bland musical sameness. Although the slower tempo and softer, less frantic vocals of 'Searching For Heaven' do introduce some progression, the band then revert back to their usual quick, poppy style for the

The Drums Portamento Label: Moshi Moshi/Island Records

remaining five tracks. ‘If He Likes It Let Him Do It’, with its Morrissey-esque vocals (heard throughout the album, most obviously in ‘Money’), quickly

becomes annoying, and Pierce’s whining voice on ‘In the Cold’ doesn’t take long to start grating. The word ‘portamento’ is an Italian term denoting a vocal slide between two pitches, but despite its connotations with change there is little to be found here. Few of the 12 tracks on Portamento are actively bad, but most are lazy and uninventive, which makes the album a frustrating listen. Pierce’s lyrics in ‘Hard to Love’ perhaps sum up the album well; “I would never hate you, but you’re hard to love” except in this case, it’s very hard. Hugo Nichols

A Tribe Called Quest - Those living Stateside have been treated to ATCQ concerts a few times over the last few years but England hasn’t been as lucky. QTip played at the Manchester Academy last month, but next time bring the others man! Bob Marley & the Wailers - Saw the Wailers at Bestival, and it was glorious. There’s nothing like a rendition of ‘Three Little Birds’ bringing the sun out, if you know you know. The Beatles - They could play for a full day and you wouldn’t hear a bad song, one of a kind. De La Soul - They broke away from the fierce East Coast/West Coast rap rivalry that swamped the 90s and released some of the freshest Hip Hop ever recorded whilst everyone else was too busy buying guns. I can tell I’m going to think these choices are shit when I read this back.

Most annoying musician?

Comment & Debate

Is there anyone more annoying than Bono? I know it’s a stock answer but he has to be top of the annoying dickhead tree.

And finally, your picks for 2012? I think it’s going to be a really exciting time for electronic music, James Blake producing a tune with Bon Iver is a prime example of how far the genre has stretched. I expect names like Jamie xx, SBTRKT and Hudson Mohawke to gain even more recognition in 2012 following their solo works this year.

A return to form Over the last twenty years, Anthrax have seemingly been the laughing stock of the big four. Metallica had the record sales, Megadeth the pure technical excellence and Slayer had the heavy. Anthrax meanwhile would be off adding guitars to Public Enemy’s ‘Bring Tha Noize’ and changing their frontman every twelve seconds; within the past three years alone, they replaced short time vocalist Dan Nelson with previous vocalist John Bush before deciding to bring back another former vocalist Joey Belladonna. Needless to say, the long awaited Worship Music is make or break time for Anthrax, and they know it. Long before the intro Worship is over, you realise that Worship Music is going to be the heaviest set of tunes Anthrax have put to record for a long, long time.

Anthrax Worship Music Label: Nuclear Blast

Smashing you over the head with crisp riffs and, to Belladonna’s credit, still rather powerful vocals, this isn’t the celebration of Anthrax’s past that it could easily have been; more so, it is a statement of intent for the future. ‘Fight ‘Em Till You Can’t’, whilst on paper a ridiculous number about fighting off singing

zombies, turns out in actuality to be one of the catchiest thrash metal songs for what seems like an age. But the big treat to find on Worship Music is ‘In The End.’ Both knowingly ambitious and surprisingly delicate at parts, this is where Belladonna really shines through and silences any critics who called for the brief John Bush reunion to be ongoing. With Metallica noodling around with Lou Reed (which I will rant about at length next week), now is a perfect time for Anthrax to pounce with the album of their career. With Worship Music, they may just have done this. Heavy, melodic, catchy and confident, it’s time to give Anthrax the respect they deserve. Tom Geddes, Music Editor

Junk of the Chart Love them or hate them, The Kooks’ 2006 debut album Inside In/Inside Out was admittedly packed full of catchy, toe-tapping pop songs, tracks like ‘Naïve’ and ‘She Moves in Her Own Way’ helping them become every schoolgirl’s favourite indie band and secure two top-ten singles. Fast forward five years and The Kooks return with third offering Junk of the Heart, hoping to make amends for 2008’s critically, and commercially disappointing Konk. It’ll come as no surprise to most then, that this album once again fails to live up to the mark. Junk of the Heart comes across as a record made by a band who have clearly lost their way, as well as their relevance. Luke Pritchard’s lyrics appear weak, and even his distinctive voice disappoints too, especially in opening track ‘Junk of the Heart (Happy)’ when he

The Kooks Junk of the Heart Label: Virgin

struggles to cram in an extra syllable during a cringeworthy chorus of “I wanna make you happy/I wanna make you feel alive.” The Kooks are clearly desperate to record another ‘Naïve,’ and have pulled out all the cliché 2011 indie tricks in the book. ‘Runaway’ takes a more synthpop/electronic direction, but like

most of the album sounds weak and is instantly forgettable. There are some high points here, ‘Is It Me’ is as catchy as some of the band’s earlier material and is an obvious choice for lead single despite once again being lyrically poor, whereas other tracks such as ‘Killing Me’ start off promisingly, only to be let down by weak choruses. With this record it seems hard to imagine the Kooks reliving their ‘glory days’ of a few summers back, especially considering that the fan base that propelled them to arena status are now much older and wiser. Junk of the Heart shows The Kooks to be a band who are desperately running out of ideas.

Jon Taylor

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Clubbing

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Top of the flops

The Shadowsphere For some Warehouse Project is a passion, for others, a religion. In what will be its final year at Store Street, WHP have devised a refreshingly different line up which still maintains a comfortingly familiar feel to previous years. An example of this would be ‘The Beginning of the End’, WHP’s first outing this year. Manchester favourite Skream was steady, not monotonous or boring but consistent, rather than spectacular. Jackmaster offered a more enthusiastic effort, and despite being lumbered with the latest set time of 4am, his quirky and often frantic persuaded many to jump out of the cloakroom line and stick around. SBTRKT, having released his critically acclaimed self-titled LP this year had much to live up to. Despite an energetic effort, and some inspired mixing, a faulty soundcard somewhere in the depths of his set-up hampered his rhythm, with blotches of silence plaguing the set from start to finish. Hudson Mohawke was one of the highlights despite drawing smaller support than expected,

‘The Beginning of the End’ The Warehouse Project

Tom Hickman Music Editor

17th September

dropping some beats from his new EP Satin Panthers, which were as unusual as they were crowd-pleasing. So far, those who had attended the night had been treated to an above average Warehouse, decent slots from all DJs were complimented by a friendly, if a little quiet audience. Then came the arrival of the Shadowsphere, and everything changed. DJ Shadow’s electrifying display utilised what appeared to be a startlingly complex and detailed light show, centered around a giant orb, almost floating on stage. Taking the shape of a baseball one minute and the Death Star the next, you were hurtled from one banger to another at breakneck speed –

scarcely leaving any time to catch your breath. Shadow’s mesmerising performance was undoubtedly the highlight, with admirable support from a stellar line-up. If

WHP has started how it means to go on, it can only mean they are going to leave Store Street with a bang, rather than a whistle.

Over the summer I made it my main ambition to maximise whatever spare time I had to catch up on a couple of years of lost literature. Whilst at university, your free time tends to be far better spent trawling through the depths of BBC iPlayer’s back catalogue for something that doesn’t feature Michael McIntyre, or the latest addition from Brian Cox. In spite of going out with good intentions, I soon caught eye of Alex James’ autobiography sitting on the shelf whilst at a friend’s house. I decided to ditch my halfhearted attempts to challenge another Jane Austen and instead learn of the Blur bassist’s incessant quest into drink and drug-fuelled self-indulgence. I took great pleasure in reading of his relentless hedonism throughout the nineties, as he ferried himself from gig to gig, bar to bar, and woman to woman. But what resonated with me more

You’ve just got to wear a suit of lamb chops and you’re halfway to number one Nevertheless, with this release comes a series of pertinent questions: Will it survive or did Smash Hits get out at the right time? Has music journalism begun the slow death march towards non-existence? As the musical juggernaut that is The X Factor enters its eighth year, I’m struck by not just the sheer number of past acts that feature in the upper echelons of music’s hierarchy, but the utter dearth of talent in popular music away from

Joe Smart, Music Editor

Live

Solid Americana sensibilities “Angel/demon/human” sings Kurt Vile on the title track of his most recent album. It’s an unnerving hybrid but also an apt reflection of Vile himself and the eternally revolving nature of his music. Onstage at Sound Control, the Philadelphian guitarist alternates between menacing stares and gentle ‘thank you’s whilst strumming even more confusing loops around each other. It’s this distinctive (if slightly schizophrenic) personality, underpinned by solid Americana sensibilities that has set Kurt Vile apart from the slew of other lo-fi soloists and earned critical

Kurt Vile Sound Control, Manchester 5th September

acclaim for his fourth album, Smoke Ring For My Halo. Tonight’s performance shows that much of this is owed to Vile’s backing band, The Violators who not only manage

to keep up with their front man’s volatility but also respond with equal innovation. Consisting of just guitar, bass and a basic drum kit, they untangle original compositions and re-plait melodies into even more mind-boggling arrangements than those of their recorded counterparts. The Violators’ modest set up also lends itself well to Vile’s acoustic tunes. Spine-tingling love song, ‘Baby’s Arms’ suddenly sounds far more sinister when punctuated only by a pounding war drum and Vile’s

evil stare over the microphone. Angels and demons aside, it’s Vile’s human side that prove to be the most powerful tonight. He spaces out during the show and occasionally sings in incomprehensible monotone but somehow this fallibility only serves to highlight the transcendental nature of the music he creates. Phoebe Hurst

Ever wondered what Kanye West wears whilst he’s having sex? Me neither. @50Cent: After the movie I went to see my bitch shana cos she gives me free food. She works at the drive thru over at mc donalds and shit. @CasablancasJ: 4.30pm, having breakfast, what have i become? @katyperry:@rihanna yo batch lemme borrow those latex dresses! #slutty #skank #ho #whore #yesyesyes! @kanyewest: Sometimes I fuk with my Timbs on @jayelectronica: #WhenLifeHandsYouLemons: give em to me. I like lemons @doctorfollowill (Nathan Followill of Kings of Leon): There's a storm a brewing outside. Thankfully my storm shelter is also my wine cellar. Bring it on mother of nature, i'm ready for you. @chrisbrown: ALWAYZ BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK!!!! @calvinharris: Just saw the best Youtube comment of all time - 'thumbs up if you pee in the side of the toliet so it's quieter' @therealzooeyd: The history channel is going to be so pissed if the world doesn't end in 2012: end of days, or just end of programming? Perhaps they should all stick to their music, apart from Chris Brown that is.

than anything else was not his lifestyle or his constant globetrotting, but how much it meant to him (as a relatively unknown artist) not just to perform on Top of the Pops but more so, to be featured in Smash Hits magazine. Both institutions have since ceased to exist, as they both ended production shortly after the turn of the millennium, an ode to the digital age of free downloads. The demise of the top 40 chart has coincided with this downfall, and obviously the declines have been widely attributed to the influx of digital music and its ready availability on the internet. Although NME is still considered by many to be the ‘indie bible’, there has not been a publication that represents popular chart music. And even this sacred offering has seen an unremitting decline in sales in recent years, with the magazine now only having just over 33,000 copies in circulation (as of June 2010), a figure 53% down on the 72,500 of 2003. With the recent release of magazine ‘We Love Pop’, we have seen an attempt at a return to the days of old, as hoards of teenagers follow their favourite pop stars’ every move.

the said programme’s endless production line. I know it’s an easy copout to belittle the X Factor culture within contemporary music, but the constant stream of (attempted) Mariah Carey replicas are going a long way to eradicate any sort of individuality within music. Long gone are the days of a voice and a personality being what you needed to succeed in pop music. You’ve just got to wear a suit of lamb chops or writhe around in skin-tight leather and you’re halfway to getting yourself a number 1 single. The removal of the joy of being young and talented instead being replaced by a “tick-box of what the marketing department wants, with a liberal dash of clod-hoppingly obvious sex on top.” Gone are the days of every adolescent etching the Ziggy Stardust lightning bolt across their face. Gone are the gender bending days of Culture Club. Tulisa Contostavlos’ extensive musical achievements are now the adjudicator for what deserves to top our charts and mould the teenage generation. Looks like I might have to dig that old Jane Austen out again. Quote – Clair Woodward (Sunday Express)

Coloumn

Film Patrick Cowling Film Editor

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Big screen review

No fit state Lucy Richardson

Kevin Smith’s latest film was the talk of Sundance 2011 before its premiere. Red State begins with three teenage boys: Travis (Michael Angarano), Jared (Kyle Gallner) and Billy Ray (Nicholas Braun), who are all travelling to a nearby town to get some action with an anonymous woman they’ve just met over the internet. Hmmm. Little do they know that the woman, Sarah (Melissa Leo), is luring them into a trap set up by extreme Christian fundamentalist preacher Abin Cooper (Michael Parks),

leader of the Five Points Trinity Church. It’s from this point in that the film gets absurd – cue the ridiculous singing and chanting, the guy being cling-filmed to a giant cross and shot in the head. We’re then forced to endure Cooper’s tedious 15-minute sermon to his faction, followed by a strangely boring and extremely unbelievable 20-minute shoot out between the church and a police squad, led by Agent Keenan ( John Goodman), as he investigates the Cooper Church. Red State is confusing and hard to watch. With all the hype surrounding it, expectations were high, but sadly Smith’s attempt at horror fails to deliver

on its early promise, and becomes extremely underwhelming. It jumps oddly from comedy to horror to action, but does none very well at all, and this genre-hopping makes for a messy and disappointing film. The dialogue is basic and boring, so unusual for Smith who is

Red State Director: Kevin Smith Starring: Michael Parks, Melissa Leo, John Goodman

known for his snappy, quick witted script. Ridiculous caricature-like cult members and comical accents detract from the horror of what is happening on screen, making the violence seem crude and redundant. In essence, unfortunately, Red State is just a bit stupid. It’s a shame, because the storyline has real potential, but throughout there is a real deficiency where the character growth and depth of the film should be. So what is the moral of this story? Well, don’t meet up with a random woman from the internet for sex - you might just find yourself the subject of a poorly written and produced film.

Hangover Cures

In the next few weeks many of us will be waking up on most mornings feeling like the inside of a dead dog. So here is a selection of the best films to watch from the foetal position on your living room floor. 5. Krull (1983) I stumbled across it one morning on Croatian television, in English with subtitles whilst feeling like there was a performance of Stomp going on inside my skull. It was one of the best things ever. There’s a Cyclops, a massive spider and Liam Neeson in tights. 4. Austin Powers No matter how many times you watched these films when you were younger, Dr Evil and Austin Powers are two of the best characters ever invented in the spoof genre and even though you probably know all the punch lines, that’s all you need when you barely have the power of speech. 3. Star Wars/Lord of the Rings Depending on how butchered you feel and how much of the day you have to kill, you could go for the slightly more epic option of either one of these trilogies. Easy and enjoyable to watch, and also a guarantee that you won’t have to move for about eight hours. 2. Anchorman (2004) Another film that seems to be impervious to overwatching. Alcohol poisoning has nothing on the amazing dialogue and ridiculous scenes in this film. 1. Anything by Disney Depending on your psychological state, you can either be uplifted by Simba triumphing against all odds, or have a giggle when Bambi’s mum gets shot.

OPINION

Hasbro. The future of Cinema?

Red State: a disappointment

WHO WOULD WIN?

James Bond VS Will Smith Patrick Cowling Film Editor Stats: James Bond as played by Pierce Brosnan is not quite the sociopath in a suit that Daniel Craig is, but he manages to combine the suave charm of the old Bond’s with a much more lethal edge. He has all those amazing gadgets that Q spends all his time dreaming up like the invisible the car, the ring that shatters glass and the grenade pen. He also manages to get his end away about 5 times a film. Will Smith, as J in Men in Black is one of the coolest characters of the nineties. The Fresh Prince with a big old gun. He has at his

disposal all those alien weapons and advanced prototypes and also has the advantage of having been a cop on the beat rather than a public schoolboy who should really be in alcoholics anonymous with the amount of martinis he orders. Ground Rules: Will Smith can’t use that little mind wiper thing and James Bond can’t shag anyone. The Fight: James Bond is a suave and charming little bastard and so will probably get Will Smith into bed before he evens know what has happened. The referee was going to penalise him for this breach

of the rules, but he ended up in bed with Bond before he could do it. After a short but sweet love affair Will Smith will remember that there is supposed to be a fight and bring out the big guns. Bond will shoot off in his invisible car but J will set off one shot from that tiny gun and obliterate Bond’s car. Bond will of course roll out before he gets killed and use his sneaky gadgets to get close to J. Bond is fine against useless cronies and can keep up witty banter with evil megalomaniacs all day long. But let’s face it, when it comes down to it, J will just shoot him in the face. Game Over.

For many years now, comic book titans Marvel and DC have been associated with the film world almost as much as print. But in recent years the movie industry has seen the rise of another company selling off their concepts to be turned into high budget Hollywood films. Toy manufacturer Hasbro have paired up with Universal and so far brought us Transformers (a trashy plot, but jam packed full of special effects) and G. I Joe. It’s a sorry sign that, although both movies received poor reviews, Hasbro is now involved in making many more films to be distributed by Universal. Firstly, a big budget version of the game Battleships (rather imaginatively titled Battleship) is planned for release in 2012, starring Liam Neeson and (rather hilariously) Rihanna. I’ve never had the pleasure of watching Rihanna act but from the picture of her controlling a rather large machine gun (watch out Chris Brown), I can only imagine it to be as bizarre as the concept for this entire film. Those of you who have had the joy of playing this game whilst young will be very disappointed by the plotline, though. It contains neither guesswork nor any tiny plastic boats. You can be sure, however, that it will of course contain a ridiculous amount of special effects, a weak plot and lines so cheesy even the cheese addicted cheetah from Cheetos crisps will turn it down. So, will Hasbro’s new ventures set the world on fire? Probably not. But then again they probably don’t intend to. What they do offer is visual spectacle, an easy to follow plot and of course what is bound to be a performance from Rihanna on par, no doubt, with that of Lawrence Olivier. Bring it on. George Nichols

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Manchester Edition: Monday 19th September 2011

Drive

Big screen review

Wrong turn James Sargent

From its opening scenes it’s strikingly clear that Drive is the pure vision of director Nicolas Winding Refn, who, fresh from the international acclaim of the brutally introspective biopic Bronson, weaves his eclectic narrative of a nameless stuntman and wheelman-forhire into a mesh of cinematic styles. We meet The Driver (Ryan Gosling) as an accessory to armed robbery, skidding through the streets of LA and outmanoeuvring police in a tense and intelligent scene, captured with some brilliant cinematography. This thoroughly modern approach, however, is buried by the next

scene, as retro hot pink opening credits roll and a throwback synth pop soundtrack blares from the speakers, creating an experience more reminiscent of an episode of Miami Vice. One by one we are introduced to a seemingly stellar supporting cast, which is where the first problem lies; they mostly sleepwalk through their performances. Carey Mulligan’s doe-eyed love interest is stripped of any character by a series of numbing slow motion shots. Bryan Cranston saw better days in Malcolm in the Middle. Ron Perlman and Albert Brooks portray just about the most one-dimensional mafia types you can imagine. Christina Hendricks of Mad Men fame cries through ten minutes of film before a disturbingly

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn

jarring change of pace kicks in. This is where the 18 certificate is well-earned - forks go through eyes, knives go through major arteries and a foot goes through someone’s head. In attempting to defy convention and bring something truly “arthouse” to the mainstream audience, Refn loses coherence and cohesion in the narrative and eventually allows characters to mindlessly attack each other in the street to draw it to a shuddering conclusion. While Refn’s attempt to subvert the expectations of the genre must be lauded, the film ultimately suffers from an identity crisis which splits it in two. It is a powerful and fascinating piece of cinema in desperate need of some consistency.

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston

Don’t watch that, watch this.

Percy Jackson Bill Knowles Film Editor This summer, three annoying teenagers got captured the heart of the nation when they finally managed to finally take out hewho-shall-not-be-named (Ralph, to his friends), while still managing to get 300-odd UCAS points in the process. But, you know what, who needs Harry Potter when you can watch just a shiny American knock-off? Here are six good reasons why Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief is a far more entertaining film than Potter ever will be. One. It’s awful. It’s as monumentally terrible as I

always kind of hoped Harry’s irritating exploits would end up being, and it is always entertaining watching something that embarrassing – its why those YouTube videos have so many hits. You know the ones I mean. Two. Drinking games. Take a shot every time they rip off another film – be warned though, this is more dangerous than that Withnail and I one. You’ll be paralytic in about 20 minutes. It’s okay though, because you can just slump back in your chair and gurgle at the bright lights and loud noises. Three. Daniel Radcliffe doesn’t get any money if you buy the DVD. His acting is so poor I think

it should qualify as a crime against humanity. He’s up there with Nestle and Coca-Cola on my ethical boycott list. Four. Steve Coogan’s in it. He must be taking the piss with this one. Trust me, it’s all just ‘Alan Partridge in LA’. Five. It doesn’t promote that ‘twee British castle’ thing. I hate that ‘twee British castle’ thing. Six. Quality plagiarism. Come on, when someone has the gall to steal an idea this blatantly, you have to give them credit for it. It’s like walking into the undergraduate office with a printout from Wikipedia, attaching a coversheet and saying: “My essay. I’d like a first please.”

Typecasting I-Spy

Intelligence Officers

Think typecasting ruins cinema? Well, you’re wrong. Cinema ruins typecasting. All films are, in fact, a very calculated game of I-Spy, set up by a higher order as a way of choosing our political leaders. If you get them all, you win a year in office. Steve Jones has a go.

Analysing information. Spotting connections. Making decisions that really matter. This is what MI5’s dedicated and focused Intelligence Officers do every day. Working together, we help safeguard the security of the nation.

Liam Neeson – Wise action hero Liam Neeson’s general formula of action for a given film is this: meditate – attack – give advice. He was Batman’s master. He was Darth Vader’s master. He was cast as Zeus in Clash of the Titans for Christ’s sake. No clichéd sound bites from this bearded badass: only deep, penetrating perceptions on the philosophies of the foundations of life and existence; and you can’t help but be humbled and enlightened as he pats your head, breaks your leg and sticks a lightsaber in your throat.

Daniel Craig – Too hard even for women but does have a soft side somewhere Sitting. Watching. Displaying no discernible emotion whatsoever. He looks like he’s just smashed a breezeblock with his face and eaten it. All of a sudden, he jumps, and attacks! Easily he crushes the bones of whatever weed dare stand within 10 yards of him. Hot women spend entire films trying to coax a tear, a chuckle, a frown, a smile – but eventually just settle for sex. Then he goes home and eats a bowl of nails or something.

£24,750 + benefits UK based

Morgan Freeman – Wise old man How can someone who has been cast as both convicted prisoner and God Himself always play exactly the same character? Easily, apparently. I’m Morgan Freeman. I’ve become interested in this person. Let me smile occasionally and help him along this path; befriending him while all others have given up on him. Person of this Film, I am your guardian, the granddad you never had. Please don’t cast me in a film where I can’t act fatherly to someone or everyone will realise I can’t really act particularly well.

This is challenging and vitally important work that demands strong communication, analytical and organisational skills – not to mention a good deal of patience and attention to detail. If you enjoy solving problems, becoming an Intelligence Officer is one of the most rewarding and interesting career paths you could choose. Make sense of it at www.mi5.gov.uk/careers/intelligence

To apply you must be over 18 and a British citizen. Discretion is vital. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member.

Literature Steve Jones Literature Editor

Get lv o inv ed! Want to write for Literature? It’s incredibly easy! You don’t have to do a Literature degree (I don’t), you only have to enjoy reading and have a bit of a hand for writing. E-mail me at literature@man cunion.com and I’ll put you on the mailing list. Details of a meeting place and time to follow.

List of Calvin

Bill Watterson at work

and Hobbes collections Steve Jones Literature Editor

Feature

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want A tribute to Calvin and Hobbes. Steve Jones Literature Editor

You might look at the comic on this page and think, ‘hey, what’s with the picture? This looks like a comic. It doesn’t look like literature. No indeed, it doesn’t look like literature at all. So why have you gone and done a feature on it, you cretin?’ ‘Calm down’, I would doubtless reply, and attempt to prove that Calvin and Hobbes has enough character development, political and cultural commentary, philosophy, humour and cult popularity to give many literary achievements a run for their money. And the drawings are absolutely fantastic to boot. Calvin (named after John Calvin, the 16th century Reformation theologian) and Hobbes (after the 17th century political philosopher, Thomas Hobbes) are two acutely well-realised characters birthed from the brilliant mind of Bill Watterson in the mid 80s. Set in an unspecified suburban area of North America, Calvin is an intelligent and imaginative boy who does badly at school due to his inward-looking, misanthropic attitude. To the lonely six year old, Hobbes is his walking, talking, fuzzy and philosophizing best friend. To everyone else, he’s just a stuffed tiger. More than anything, Calvin’s sheer intensity of imagination is the dominant theme of the strips, and it quite quickly becomes obvious that Watterson has put absolutely no limits on what he can draw or what he can have the characters say. I have only included a few of the more conventional Calvin and Hobbes panels on this page, but Watterson often utilises his staggering artistic capacity to conjure entire worlds borne of Calvin’s imagination. Calvin often blames his alter-egos ‘Spaceman Spiff’ and ‘Stupendous Man’ for his

I wanted to put a rock in the snowball, but I didn’t. That’s got to count for something, right? behaviour, claiming that ‘mildmannered Calvin’ would never do such things, as well as frequently dreaming about dinosaurs in class and lamenting his own boring human features (‘No retractable claws, no opposable toes, no prehensile tail, no compound eyes, no fangs, no wings. Sigh.’) Calvin is surrounded by people who don’t understand him. His never-named mum and dad are deeply loving, but almost literally living in another world – four times taller than him and unlike Calvin, firmly rooted in reality. He hates virtually everyone else: his teenage babysitter Rosalyn, the grunting school bully Moe, his equally lonely neighbour Susie Derkins – only with Hobbes does he find solace, playing his own made-up game ‘Calvinball’ (where the only rule is that you can’t play it the same way twice) as well as sledging, building grotesque and macabre snowmen and pondering his existence in the world (Calvin: Me! Everyone exists in the world to please me! Hobbes: It’s nice to have that cleared up.) Calvin frequently goes for walks in a

nearby wood, where he expresses countless thoughts to Hobbes, for example: ‘I don’t need to make friends. I’d settle for being ignored’. That, I think, is a perception on the condition of a lonely childhood no less profound than those found in dark children’s books such as A Dog So Small. Hobbes serves as Calvin’s conscience, but it isn’t quite as black and white as that. Sure, Hobbes advises Calvin against taking his sled down an almost vertical hill, and suggests that in the interests of more Christmas ‘loot’ from Santa he shouldn’t throw any snowballs at Susie (‘I wanted to put a rock in the snowball, but I didn’t. That’s got to count for something, right?’) but most of the time he has just as little subtlety and foresight as Calvin, and therefore just as much fun as him. At one point he accidently pushes the car into a ditch so that they can use the garage as a den, and packs a single honey, maple syrup and chocolate sandwich for their 500 mile hike to the Yukon. Calvin has enough people in his life telling him not to do things – Hobbes is his manifestation of the perfect friend. Seem to have managed to get this far in the article without mentioning the one immediately accessible thing about Calvin and Hobbes. It is really, really, really funny. And not in that ‘that was a clever joke, time to smirk appreciatively at it’ way – in an embarrassingly writhing and breathless sort of way. Full of truisms, observations, nostalgia and, also, loads and loads of jokes, Watterson’s masterpiece is the pinnacle of the late 80s satirical comic love-affair, which started with the incredibly influential Peanuts and Bloom County and faded out in the 90s after Watterson set the bar too high. Watterson proved that 3 paneljokes aren’t shallow sound-bites, but are capable of concise, deep characterisation and incredibly likable personalities, as well as sharp lampooning of consumerism, poll-taking and public apathy among other things. And did I say there are loads of jokes? LOADS AND LOADS OF FUNNY JOKES.

Calvin and Hobbes ran in newspapers from 1985 – 1995 and in that time Bill Watterson churned out no small amount of strips, both singular jokes and lengthy stories. Here are the main collections in order of their release. If you see other books called The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes or The Essential Calvin and Hobbes or something, I wouldn’t bother – they’re just compilations of these originals. Calvin and Hobbes (1987) Probably the weakest one, Watterson hadn’t quite found his feet at this point and some of the strips are clearly failed pilots for ideas. Still bloody good by normal standards though. Something Under the Bed is Drooling (1988) The drawings still look a bit illdefined here but the jokes are much sharper and more satirical. Yukon Ho! (1989) My personal fave, the story of Calvin’s seceding from his family to the Yukon is sidesplitting. Weirdos from Another Planet (1990) Features the only ever

appearance of Uncle Max, and he’s badly missed after this. The Revenge of the BabySat (1991) The first to make a big deal of Calvin’s hated baby-sitter Rosalyn, and the opinion poll jokes come hard and fast too. Scientific Progress Goes "Boink" (1991) One of the funniest, this one doesn’t put a foot wrong. Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons (1992) According to Calvin, what’s the moral of this book? ‘Snow goons are bad news.’ That should be applicable in other areas of life then. The Days Are Just Packed (1993) The first ‘big’ book, colour rains gloriously down upon these strips for the first time. Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat (1994) Probably has the best cover of the lot. There's Treasure Everywhere (1995) Watterson really got on the ball with Calvin’s imaginary alter-egos in this one. Brilliant stuff. It's a Magical World (1995) A sparkling ending to the series, with a final panel that really tugs at the ol’ heartstrings.

Profile

Bill Watterson There’s a chance you haven’t heard of Calvin and Hobbes, despite its boasts as one of the most popular comic strips of all time. That’s down to the strongwilled character of the creator, Bill Watterson, who refused to sell any of the rights to merchandising. You will never see a legal t-shirt, mug, poster, bed-sheet, figurine, key-ring, sticker, nodding doll, chess set, video game or anything else like that at any gurning merchant’s novelty trading post you might happen to find yourself in. Watterson realised that this would cheapen his carefully crafted characters, and heroically turned down wads and wads of cash to preserve their purity. What a guy. Watterson spent a lot of his cartoon scribbling days battling with newspapers to

get comic strips the space, respect and recognition they deserved. Editors would fob him off with three equally sized panels if he was lucky, but Watterson knew that the most potent, challenging, and concisely intellectual points could be made through the medium of the comic, if only he was allowed more freedom in his drawing. He attacked the idea that comics were a vacuous and shallow art form, and questioned who had the right to define the line between ‘high’ and ‘low’ art. This notion is frequently satirized in Calvin and Hobbes . It’s notoriously difficult to get an interview with Watterson. He refuses to see any journalists and has moved house on several occasions after the locations had been revealed. He is a positively elusive creature but you can learn a lot about him just by reading Calvin and Hobbes, which he has said is, character-wise anyway, semiautobiographical.

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Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Giraffe Emily Clark Food & Drink Editor Dragging our bellies out of Giraffe with a (very nice) take-away cappuccino and a complimentary toy giraffe, my housemate and I concluded we were very contented indeed. After being warmly welcomed, we perused the attractive cocktail menu in search of something refreshing. We settled on a Skinny Cucumber Breeze which matched cucumber well with gin and mint and a Tokyo Joe, featuring the Japanese rice wine sake as the ‘Tokyo’ slant on a fruity drink.

I would much rather come here than ever set foot in Nando’s We noticed that some of their deals are worth a gander if you want to follow in my mighty footsteps and avoid Nando’s. There are half price drinks - cocktails,

The mix-up over mixing We’ve all heard those drinking adages telling us in what order to swig our refreshments. But which one to listen to? What about ‘wine then beer, you’re in the clear’ and ‘wine before beer, sick for a year’? To add more puzzlement to the alcoholic confusion, apparently the alcohol-savvy Germans say ‘bier auf Wein, das lass sein- Wein auf Bier, das rat' ich dir’ which means that wine then beer is advised. After lightly researching the topic, I am none the wiser, and have simply discovered some amateur explanations. Personally, I think that I am more likely to feel the wrath of my latenight debaucheries if I’ve just drunken too much, rather than if I mix any combination of beer, wine, cider or spirits. Some tenuous explanations: Any carbonated drink will be absorbed more quickly into our systems, so drinking beer before wine makes both drinks be absorbed more quickly. When we drink beer we take larger slurps than wine so when

Greek delights, though renowned for all tasting suspiciously similar. I’d say that the baba ghanoush was a definite highlight. We ploughed on manfully with pudding orders while drinking Moroccan Mint Tea, of which I was slightly sceptical, as I was denied the hazy memories of drinking the authentic sugary green tea and mint brew that I was once given in the Atlas mountains (boast, boast). So we drank our ordinary mint tea, albeit it in a very authentic teapot, while we anticipated sharing a Milky Bubble Double Chocolate Cheesecake and Jude’s Fresh Fruit Crush Sorbet – one scoop of bramley apple and one of blackberry. The cheesecake was luxuriously hedonistic, so I tried to

pretend like I was interested in the sorbets that tasted of cooking apples whilst stealthily tucking into the more important dessert. After scoffing our food, our kindly waiter gave us the lowdown on some Giraffe facts. Their focus is not on locally sourced, organic or head chef inspired food. I didn’t really expect that sort of thing from a chain restaurant anyway though I don’t mean to say that this turns me against them, as I know I could take any of my friends here and they would be happily catered for. I would much rather come here than ever set foot in Nando’s, and not just for the non-tediouschicken-based menu but for the friendly service and reasonable prices too.

Recipe

Myth

Emily Clark Food & Drink Editor

beer and wine - on weekdays from 5-7pm and Burger Tuesdays, £5.50 after 5pm. At first hungry glance, I became disillusioned with the many types of cuisine that are offered – British, Mexican, Italian, Greek, Japanese, Vietnamese - but then realised that this is the whole point of the restaurant! Considering this, it was perhaps very pedestrian of me to choose such a British dish for my starter, the Daily Soup of pea, mint and courgette, but my trusty companion chose a contrastingly Asian dish of Chicken Potstickers (a less elegant name for gyoza) with a soy-chilli dip. My soup was very delicious indeed; being very much in the mood for vegetable goodness. I was very happy with the balance of flavours, although it tasted more of parsley than mint and I felt the need to season, but that’s just me being fussy. Having nibbled on one of my accomplice’s dumplings, we decided that this place could do Asian too, and the zingy dipping sauce hit the spot. For our mains, we both accidentally went Greek – we ordered a Mezze Plate and “The Big Greek” Lamb Focaccia Burger with feta, tzatziki, salady items and skins-on chips. The two were very filling, the lamb was succulent, was reported lovely with the feta and the chips were decent. My mezze platter was a veritable feast of

I think that I am more likely to feel the wrath of my late night debaucherires if I’ve just drunken too much we switch to wine we drink too much too quickly. The saying came from the times when the wealthy drank wine and the poor drank beer, so it was said to be good to upgrade from beer to wine but not the reverse.

Turn one meal into three Ever wanted to be Jesus? Then follow this recipe and turn one meal into three. Freeze the basic sauce in individually tupperwared portions and adapt as you will. Make sure you don’t reheat the sauce more than once, to avoid food poisoning. Jesus didn’t get food poisoning.

Basic sauce, Makes 4-6 portions Ingredients olive oil 3 tbsp onions 3, finely chopped garlic 3 cloves, crushed and finely chopped minced beef roughly 1kg mushrooms 1 pack, chopped finely tomatoes 2 x 400g tins, pre-chopped tomato purée 1 tbsp red wine a slosh stock cube 1, dissolved in a pint of hot water salt and pepper to taste

Method Heat the olive oil in a pan. Add the onions and garlic and cook gently to soften for 5 minutes. Turn up the heat, add the beef to brown it. Keep stirring. When beef is all brown, add mushrooms, tomatoes, tomato purée, wine, stock and seasoning. Put on lid and simmer for 20 minutes, then cook without lid on for 20 minutes to reduce.

Adapt for bolognese Extra Ingredients any pasta bacon rashers 2, cut into strips oregano or basil ½ tsp per portion

Method Cook the bacon in a pan, then reheat the defrosted basic sauce with the herbs. Serve with pasta.

Adapt for chilli con carne Extra Ingredients rice kidney beans 1 tin, drained cumin or paprika or Tabasco or chilli powder to taste

Method Reheat the defrosted basic sauce in a pan with the kidney beans and whichever optional extra spices. Serve with rice.

Adapt for enchiladas Extra Ingredients paprika or Tabasco or chilli powder to taste tortilla wraps salsa 1 pot cheddar grated sour cream guacamole

Method Preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius. Reheat the defrosted basic sauce in a pan with the spice. Fill tortilla wraps with a small amount of the basic sauce, salsa and sour cream and place in a baking dish. Spread any leftover salsa over the wraps with some grated cheese, and bake in the oven for 10 minutes, or until the cheese has melted. Serve with the remaining sour cream and guacamole.

Food & Drink

Review

“

I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven’t yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?’ Bill Bryson

Coloumn

Lifestyle The University is proud to host such an eclectic and varied group of people and their cultures.

Naila Missous Lifestyle Editor

The studying of languages at GCSE, never mind at undergraduate level, is on the decrease almost every year, but who is to blame? The government have been accused of neglecting languages by diverting its funding to science based courses, betraying the discipline and even indicted that they are being ‘dumbed down’ in order to attract prospective students. As an undergraduate studying Linguistics, of course this is sad news. Who doesn’t want to know how to speak another language? With the increased popularity of Gap years and Inter-railing, my first thought would be that another language would indeed be an essential. Of course, I have to come clean and admit that I have been lucky enough to grow up in a household where second, third and even fourth languages were the norm. I grew up speaking Arabic, French and dabbling in English now and then. I was exposed to Italian from a young age, and studied German too. It seemed that I just absorbed them. Now the science bit: there is the claim that all humans (yes, all) have an innate ability for language acquisition. We are apparently genetically programmed to learn languages. So there is no excuse in saying you can’t learn a language. You automatically can, really. As part of my degree, I’m off to Spain for a few months and what did I consider primarily? To begin Spanish lessons as soon as the first semester started.

With the increased popularity of Gap years and Interrailing, my first thought would be that another language would indeed be an essential It doesn’t matter what discipline you study or what you want to do later in life. A language really is a key to open many doors to several cultures, lifestyles and most importantly people. There is no denying the fact that languages are a part of the cultural richness of our society: just visit the International Society on Oxford Road for a tiny glimpse of the world in motion. It is obvious that learning languages contributes to mutual understanding, a sense of global citizenship and personal commitment. The reasons for learning a new language are varied, but the importance of learning foreign languages is universal: it will always benefit you in one way or another.

Are you linguistically challenged? Contact the International Society for support now.

Blind

Politics & Analysis

Business & Finance

Science & Tech

Feature Page

Multi-lingual celebrities: Who knew?

Photo: Martin Pilat

The 26th of September marks the 10 year anniversary of European Languages day and here at the Mancunion Lifestyle section, we’re celebrating all languages. From French to Arabic, Chinese to Hindi and all the way back to English.

Hola, Je speak plusieurs 

Comment & Debate

Date

The Lifestyle team are teaming up with Deaf Institute to bring back your weekly instalment of blind date. For the chance to meet your soul mate or just to get some free grub sign up by e mailing your full name, year of study, course and phone number to lifestyle@mancunion.com with ‘blind date’ as the subject header.

They’re oh so talented, and everyone wants a piece of them. And with the added charm they speak another language. • BBC newsreader Sophie Raworth completed a degree in French and German at our very own University. • Long distance runner Paula Radcliffe studied French and German at the University of Loughborough. • Viggo Mortensen, most probably known for his breakthrough in Lord of the Rings with the character of Aragorn, studied Spanish at degree level. He has also lived in Venezuela and Argentina as a young child. • The Hangover and Limitless start Bradley Cooper can speak fluent French after spending time abroad as part of his degree in the south of France. Like women needed another reason to like him... • Hip shaking Shakira is fluent in her native Spanish, as well as being self taught in English, and singing many songs in Italian and German. She also has basic Arabic language skills. • Hollywood starlet Charlize Theron may be fluent in English, but her mother tongue is in fact Afrikaans.

Je ne comprends pas Lily Howes Lifestyle Editor The extent of my language talents came to a grand halt at GCSE French when I miraculously scraped a B. And all I retain from that qualification are random words and terms that make very little sense without context and/or are completely useless; such as aller à la pêche (to go fishing) or how to say “I am 15 years old and have a sister” - case in point. Up until very recently though I was under the ignorant impression that my inability to speak any languages other than my own wasn’t a problem because “they speak English everywhere don’t they?” Travelling through Eastern Europe with a friend this summer my ignorance was confirmed as, yes, a large majority of people do speak English. In fact it is the third most widely spoken language in the world. Even when we found ourselves away from the capitals and unexpectedly stranded in a little town on the Czech Republic and Polish border in the middle of

They speak English everywhere don’t they? nowhere, we still relied on English to communicate. Granted their English wasn’t in any way perfect (and there was a lot of charade type miming involved) but it was better than my Czech will ever be. Could a Czech tourist with very little grasp of the English language manage that well when visiting the UK? Not a chance. Unfortunately even when I had taken the time to learn “hello”, “thank you” or “can I have the bill please” in the relevant language my poor pronunciation combined with my very unauthentic Croydon accent seemed to just cause confusion. Resorting back to English made life a lot easier for everyone. We take for granted how easily we can get by with just English on our sides. And this isn’t necessarily completely our fault.

Unless you’re fairly privileged or have the luxury of private education some of us don’t begin to learn a language until secondary school and even then it’s not always compulsory to continue this as a GCSE option. In comparison many other Europeans learn English from a very young age, either from their parents or in primary school; and this is something they continue through out the whole of their educational lives. So that’s three years of experience in our case vs. up to 14 years plus. Learning French is becoming more common across primary schools in the UK but is this something we should make compulsory? If other countries can then why can’t we? It’s not too late for those of you who, like me, are linguistically inept though. There are plenty of language courses on offer across Manchester. Check out what the International Society has to offer, private tuition classes or even learning independently! Now I’m not saying that I’m going to be learning Hungarian in the near future but turning my “je ne comprends pas” into “je parle un peu français” may be a good place to start.

News

01-05

Society Spotlight

Column

Union Corner

Purple Page

Sport

31-32

Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Proper cotch

Hanging and You've fallen asleep on the gungy rim of a club toilet, drenched your clean clothes after mistaking your wardrobe for a urinal and have woken up next to a sentient being you can barely identify as human, let alone remember its name. And after all that it's time for the grand finale, the pièce de résistance, the Death Star trench run - the hangover. curled up like a defenseless, blind, placenta covered puppy fresh out of a bitches womb.

Lloyd Henning Columnist I would categorise hangovers into three types: Type A: the cranial violation. Searing pain as soon as you gain consciousness usually dealt with by a few more hours sleep. Often due to dehydration from believing that if you can't taste the sambuca any more then it's probably not having any effect on you. In this state one can be subject to small fits of rage, especially when confronted with complex questions such as: "you up to much today?" to which a typical response would be along the lines of "GO EAT A BOUQUET OF GOAT'S PENISES!" Type B: the rotten leftover. When you initially awake you feel fine, joyous almost, free of inhibitions and enjoying a relaxed outlook on life. This is a trap - you are still drunk. In an hour you will be

Type C: the hollowness. No pain felt in your body, only emptiness in your soul. You refuse to deal with any of your responsibilities such as lectures or coursework, they all seem fickle and petty compared to the infinite vacuum within you. A few episodes of South Park later and a nice long nap and you begin to once again accept the possibility of compassion and purpose in life. I'd like now to just get this out there : there is no cure to any of these, life's not that kind. My recommended method of dealing with the situation that your unending thirst has put you in is to toughen up, grab your actual or metaphorical balls and get on with it. Then there is the other school of thought, 'cotching'. 'Cotching', a plague that seems to sweep the student population after a "heh-vee night". It is the activity of not doing much

Photo: Lloyd Henning

cotching

'Cotching', a plague that seems to sweep the student population after a "hehvee night activity. Waking up after an evening of running around picking up traffic cones after a few too many vodbulls, 'cotchers' shuffle to the toilet, whilst dealing with their business, they call up their associates to ask "Mate, what happened last night?" On the

Fuse FM is YOUR

student radio station.

We're currently off air but we're back for this semester's broadcast from Sunday 9th October Join us for our membership signup session on Monday 26th September at 6pm in Club Academy and our social afterwards at 8:30pm at Revolutions in Fallowfield www.facebook.com/fusefmmanchester @FuseFM WELCOME WEEK is over, lectures have begun and most

Hattie Pearson

importantly Fuse FM covered the week’s events by broadcasting live from The Students’ Union. On Sunday night we hit the “on air” switch and from 6pm we brought you all the latest from Battle of the Brands. Club Academy was

packed out and with some of Manchester’s finest DJs on the decks we can safely say the evening was a cracking way to begin our Welcome Week broadcast. As this issue of The Mancunion went to print we were eagerly anticipating getting ourselves back on the airwaves after a long summer break. Head of Programming, Dean Webster had prepped the presenters. Head of Marketing, Clifford Fleming had a

thousand clothes pegs in a carrier bag - don’t ask. Our Treasurer, Vicky Bond had our sponsorship forms in a pretty pink folder and our Station Manager, Dan Alani had already moved out of his house in Fallowfield and made the studio his new home. We were out in full force at the Student Fair; interviewing societies, DJing live from the balcony and playing your requests. With Touchdown on Saturday and the arrival of the one and only Zane Lowe looming ever closer we were frantically planning how on earth we could persuade the world renowned DJ and radio superstar to put Radio 1 in the past and convince him to

other end of the line, Freddy, Theo or whatever cotch name they have replies, also sitting on their respective lavatories, with their tales of "epic messiness", how "Big C was all over it" and then ending the conversation with "Yes mate. Today. Proper cotch sesh." They pull up their Jack Wills jogging bottoms and head for the kitchen with their frosted tips wrapped in a condom hat. They treat themselves to a massive bowl of coco pops, have a proper lush smoothie, then open up their laptops to watch some inane BBC3 comedy on iPlayer. As their energy levels decrease, sweat begins to secrete out of every crevasse in and around their body - but that's what the Hollister hoody is there to soak up. They slowly begin to close their bloodshot eyes and take a late morning nap to the soothing sounds of Family Guy. Lunch is no doubt some form of takeaway. Replenishing their vitality with Dominos or worse,

become a permanent fixture in the Fuse studios. I’ll let you know in next week’s issue how we got on with that one... So with Welcome Week over Fuse FM has begun its eleventh year of producing student run radio and Student Media is living life to the full like never before. Communications Officer of the Students’ Union, Jeremy Buck explains why Student Media is a great way to make a difference to the University: “[It] gives students a voice and a platform. From pushing new student talent, to getting news stories that matter to students out onto campus and into the wider press arena. Student media puts some punch behind what students think, say and do!” Buck continues: “For students that want to gain skills in journalism, studio tech, presenting or music, student media is the perfect place to do it, and you don't need to worry about being given the grinding jobs like you would on an unpaid internship, as everything you do is student led and chosen by you!”

far worse, the middle class KFC Nandos. Of course the proper attire to wear in public during a period of 'cotching' is the pyjamas they are already in and flip flops are perfect attire for traversing the streets of Manchester in all seasons. Late afternoon features a trip to Sainsbury's to grab "bare munch." With Carrier bags full of chili heatwave Doritos and meat feast Goodfellas pizzas our cotcher plods home. Dinner is wolfed down in front of a gloriously low resolution film off the Internet. The results of the cotch day? Nothing done, but at least it felt nice. Having a hangover means total non-function. A day of diarrhea and self-loathing. Maybe the only option is to embrace it and just do what your body wants to do and cotch. Chill out and forget about all that education that is being offered to you in your privileged position whatever, this is what the first world is about.

Meet The Committee Dean Webster

Column

Student Eye

Get ed! lv o v in

Absolutely appalled by the patently illinformed and foolishly brash opinions of Student Eye? Send your heavily worded emails to lloyd@mancunio n.com my undies once, only to discover that there is a webcam. Whoops!” Committee member with the worst habit: “Oh definitely me. I'm always late to meetings (sorry)! and when I turn up I don't pay attention (sorryyyy)!” What do you want to be when you grow up, don't feel like you need to say something in radio: “Radio 1 DJ.”

Where are you from?: “Reading brappp!!”

Even for someone who isn't thinking about a career in the media why would you recommend getting involved with Fuse: “There are lots of other things you can do with us, such as DJing, gig reviews, and more. Plus our socials are wild and you'd be joining the coolest cats in town.”

Committee position: “Head of Programming.”

Favourite radio station (apart from Fuse): “Kiss 100.”

Course and year: “Physiology, 3rd year.”

What does your role entail?: “Scheduling the shows, doing a bit of training and making the station sounds lush.” How can members get involved in your area?: “Drop me an email at programming@fusefm.co.uk or if you see me say hi - I don't bite (unless you're Nandos chicken).” What are you most looking forward to over the year being a part of Fuse?: “Being on air is always a good laugh and the Student Radio Conference, basically our annual road-trip, is probably the most fun ever!” Most embarrassing Fuse moment: “The studio gets really hot, so I took my trousers off and did the show in

Name a radio show that you listen to every day and why it's so amazing: “I have to say I absolutely love the Chris Moyles Show. He's marmite, but I'd spread him all over my toast!” Your earliest Fuse memory: “I swore on air.” One top tip on being 'good' at radio: “Don't swear.” If you could interview anyone in the world who would it be: “Barack Obama.” Favourite place on campus to sleep: “Every single lecture theatre.” And finally, sum up Fuse in 3 words: “Better than sex.”

Manchester Venue Guide

Here at UMSU it’s really important to us that everyone enjoys their time at university. We want you to make the most of all the exciting activities that are going on. In order to help with this we have created this access guide so that you can see a number of venues in Manchester and whether they are suitable for any requirement you may have. We hope that this guide will help you to make informed decisions before you arrive at a venue and realise that you might not be able to engage in the activity.

Hannah Paterson, UMSU Welfare Officer

Refused to give details of their accessibility

Academy 2

Academy 3

Baa Bar Deansgate

Baa Bar Fallowfield

Baa Bar Village

Birdcage

Club Academy

Comedy Store

Contact Theatre

Deaf Insitiute Trof, The

Factory 251

Font Bar – Fallowfield

Font Bar – Oxford Road

Footage

Ford Madox Brown

Frog and Bucket

Fuel

Hardy’s Well

Harry’s Bar and Paddys Lounge

International Café

Islington Mills

Jabez Clegg

Joshua Brooks

Kro Bar

Kro 2

Odder

Opus

Pub, The

Pure

Queen of Hearts/Cheshire Cat

Robinski

Sankeys

Solem Bar

Subspace

Tiger Tiger

Tribeca

Taurus

Varsity – Whitworth Park

Zoo

alternate entrance on Princess Street access around the back

access around the back

access through side doors

Academy 1

N/A

N Y Y Y

N/A

round the back

N/A

Y Y

Music Played

Accessible Toilet

N/A

42nd Street

Ramp

5th Ave

Lift

Steps

Venue

on up stairs floor

Flashing Lights

in club not in bar

on up stairs floor

Strobe Lighting

car park close

Some street parking

Gledhill Street at the rear

car park close

N N

accessible

VIP area

accessible

disabled

accessible

not accessible

Non-Gendered Alcohol Toilets Free Space

4pm onwards – Dillworth Street road parking close

Hearing Loop

car park close

Parking Facilities

disabled

before 6pm

not after 9pm

until 6pm

until 8.30pm

not after 8pm

during the day

Child Changing Child Facilities Friendly

limited

Food Served

N/A

Table Service

Management

Staff Trained in Accessibility

28 News

01-05

Society Spotlight

Column

Union Corner

Purple Page

Sport

31-32

Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Union News

In Brief

A guide to finding a new direction. After the onslaught of Welcome Week, are you finding yourself wandering from lecture to lecture, not knowing what to do or who to turn to? Sure you might be a returning student, but we’ve all found ourselves bewildered at the start of a new year, trying to fix old habits, turn over new leaves and finally, FINALLY, make some progress on our final year projects or dissertations. No matter what year you’ve just started, there has never been a better time to get involved with the Students’ Union, and here are three great ways to do it! Stand for Chair of Council The Council of the Students’ Union, which is a group of fifty-four elected students, needs someone to Chair their meetings, and provide a balanced voice on political issues in the Students’ Union. Sure this might sound dry, but it’s one of the most important jobs a student can do in the Union. Settling disputes, MCing the big meetings throughout the year, and providing a steer on Union policy can all provide you with great CV building opportunities, personal development, and the ability to be a key member of the Union. If you would like more information on how to become Chair of Council, just email

communications@umsu.man chester.ac.uk or turn up ready to put yourself forward at the first meeting of Council, which is on Tuesday 27th October at 6 pm in the Council Chambers (Room 1) of the Union Building on Oxford Road. Stand for Post-graduate LGBT or Humanities positions on Council As mentioned before, the members of the Students’ Union Council are all elected, and some positions are yet to be filled. We need people to bring the voice of postgraduates, Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Trans students and Humanities (although not necessarily all at the same time) to the Union Council, and students from any year group can put themselves forward. You can do so by heading to the website, www.umsu.manchester.ac.uk/y our_union/elections , to find out more about Council, and for the online application form. You can also email me at communications@umsu.manch ester.ac.uk with any questions you have. Stand for NUS delegate Want to take the voice of your classmates, and all the students of The University of Manchester to the National Union of Students? Want an all expenses paid trip to the threeday NUS Conference in the Easter holiday? Want to meet

No matter what year you’ve just started, there has never been a better time to get involved with the Students’ Union the NUS President, Liam Burns? If your answer to at least two of these questions is a resounding yes, then consider applying to be a delegate for The University of Manchester. We will provide training and support, and you will get to vote on student issues alongside thousands of UK students, making decisions about what the NUS should be working on, and who the next President should be! Again, just head to our website, or email communicatons@umsu.man chester.ac.uk for more information.

STAND FOR A UNION POSITION: Read the article above for more information, or email communications @umsu.manchester.ac.uk

Do you want the Union to change for the better? The Charity Commissions are able to help the Union to change how we operate to be more modern and connected with the student body. They are

Student Fair attracts over 30,000 students Over the three days that the Student Fair and the Sports and Activity Fair ran in the Steve Biko

Bright Ideas sheds light on student issues Throughout Welcome Week, the Student Union Executive Team, and many staff members, were collecting your thoughts, opinions and ideas, ready to help you make the changes you want to see at University. If you submitted an idea, we

Hundreds of students sign up to be Cutsbusters Did you see the stall at the Students’ Fair? Did you chat to an Executive Officer? Have you got your Cutsbuster card? Make sure you are part of the Cutsbuster network,

Union refurbishment update As you may have noticed last week, we’ve spruced up the top floor and the lowerground floor with a lick of paint to tide over the Activities & Media centre as well as the bookable spaces. The old Advice Centre has been boarded off ready for

NUS

asking if their proposed scheme of temporarily bending our rulebook to help this change is something that students want. You can read the proposed scheme online on our website: www.umsu.manchester.a c.uk, and share your thoughts too!

Building and Academy 1, an incredible number of students passed through our doors to chat to societies, sign up to campaigns and get involved in sport. Zane Lowe smashed it at the Touchdown party, and we hope you had fun!

may already be working on it! Some take considerable time and resources, or might have a political outcome, and require support from many students. In order to make these things happen, we need as many students as possible to come to a massive event, Big Ideas: Have your say, which is happening on Thursday 13th October at 5 pm in Academy 1. We hope to see you there!

which is growing every day, to help protect your education. You can pick up a card and sign up to be a Cutsbuster at the Students’ Union anytime, and you can search for Cutsbusters on Facebook to find the fan-page! Don’t forget the campaign introduction and film showing at 6 pm in the Students’ Union on Monday 26th!

works to start, and the service provided there has moved to the ground floor. Our lovely reception is now more open to students, with the glass removed. The front reception is where you can pick up your NUS Extra discount card (the most useful £11 you will ever spend) and ask any questions you may have!

Word OF TH E

WEEK More than just a discount card, The National Union of Students is a massive body that exists to help Students’ Unions and their members through support and campaigning. They also run a huge bulk-buying initiative, which is what helps keep food, drink, stationary and clothing in Students’ Union shops and bars at the lowest prices possible. While not technically a Union, the NUS provides a voice for all the students in the press and to the government, who consult with the leadership on many issues, from student safety, to education funding. If you want to be a part of making decisions in the NUS, become a delegate by checking out the website at www.umsu.manchester.ac.uk/your_union/nus

Union Corner

Lost in the wilderness?

Jeremy Buck Communications Officer

Get involved!

My Union is Online:

umsu. manchester. ac.uk Twitter: @UMSUnion Facebook: university of Manchester Students’ Union

Purple Page

Club showcase

SKUM Sophie Barnett

The University of Manchester Ski and Snowboard Club, namely SKUM, will be the first AU club of the year to showcase their sport outside University Place through a ‘Railjam’ being held on Wednesday 28th September between 10am and 4pm. The aim of the Railjam is to provide a live demonstration of freestyle skiing and snowboarding within an urban environment to the students of Manchester including those who may otherwise not get the opportunity to experience this exciting and prevailing area of snowsports. At 6am on Wednesday morning the committee, along with dedicated members, will travel to Chill Factore (Manchester’s indoor real snow centre) to shovel a hefty two tonnes of snow into vans and transport it back to the venue on Oxford Road where it will be packed and shaped into a ‘mini ski slope’ with freestyle boxes or rails. By 10am, the crowds will gather as some of the best skiers and snowboarders in the club and the UK assemble to demonstrate their hottest tricks live on real snow! SKUM welcomes all standards of skier and snowboarder including complete beginners who are given many opportunities to learn the sport at exclusive club prices, alongside likeminded people. Anyone interested in becoming a part of the university’s largest AU society is invited to come and sign-up throughout the day and to meet fellow members at the venue. In addition to the highly active social calendar and opportunities for beginners, the society also enjoys the competitive side of snowsports and

SKUM welcomes all standards of skier and snowboarder beginners who are given many opportunities to learn the sport at exclusive club prices

Come check out SKUM in action outside university place this wednesday

have achieved many successes over the past year including British Snowboard Slalom Champions for the last two years running, Ski Slalom Northern League winners, Christie Cup Champions, and more. Two of our Alumni members have recently qualified for the GB squad. In December, SKUM will embark on their Christmas ski trip to Tignes Val Claret, France with their holiday company and annual sponsors ‘Off The Piste’. Booking for this holiday officially opens at midday on the day of the Railjam and all SKUM members are able to book their places by visiting www.studentskiing.com and entering the club code: SKUM. The price of the trip is £395 and includes coach travel, accommodation, lift pass, discounted equipment rental and discounted lessons.

Meet the AU Executive 2011

Agi Duhig

Melanie Smith

Jemima Killick

Avi Walerius

Shaggy and Scouse

AU Chair

BUCS Rep

Communications and Alumni

BUCS Rep – Events

Events and Social Officers

Working her way up the ranks of the women’s rugby union club, Agi has now firmly established herself as a piece of furniture in the Athletics Union office (of the chair variety). Not content with 1 year in the purple palace Agi is back and ready to spread the purple love with her new Exec committee. Obviously not ready to let go of the student dream! Inadvertently she almost caused death on tour in her second year when a guy chose to leap in front of a taxi and get his foot run over instead of facing her loving embrace.

Another diehard student, this September Mel is commencing her 4th and “final” year. A dedicated member of the women’s hockey club Mel has progressed from a keen fresher to the clubs treasurer and now a purple veined exec member. Claim to fame is that she was a contestant on ITV’s “The Cube” in 2009. You tube her!

Converting from women’s football, no longer content with just 1 position this year Jemima is the club chair of women’s rugby and the role of communication officer. With a scar akin to Harry Potter, Jemima flexes her drinking guns more than most. A free spirit she has not only participated in pavement diving on more than one occasion but of late was rumoured to have taken a dip with the ducks in Platt Fields pond this freshers week! Do not try any of these stunts at home; she is a machine in the making.

Replaced the ‘W’ with an ‘H’ and you have the funniest man in town. Taking on a new role in the exec this year Avi truly puts the Ultimate in Frisbee. Avi likes to spend his spare time taking long strolls in the park, romantic candlelit dinners and watching the sunset. But take note he doesn’t like ham.

These are the guys about town, names are pretty descriptive and you won’t be able to miss them in The AU social every week. Both 2nd year Rugby Union boys, these lads have a long history of rugby prowess to live up to. Let’s hope their relationship can take the pressures of a socialite this year! Challenge: what are their real names....

28 News

01-05

Society Spotlight

Column

Union Corner

Purple Page

Sport

31-32

Manchester Edition: Monday 26th September 2011

Cricket

Lancashire claim championship to end 77 years of pain. Lancashire lift Cricket’s County Championship, a victory 77 years in the making…

Patrick Madden Sports Editor

When Lancashire last lifted cricket’s County Championship way back in 1934 Franklin Roosevelt held the presidency of the United States, George V was the King of England and Adolf Hitler became Germany’s head of state. Fast forward to 2011 and whilst Das Fuhrer is long gone Lancashire are celebrating being crowned as County Champions once more. Victory over Somerset in the final session of the season’s final day saw Lancashire finally end a 77 year title drought, lifting a hoodoo many thought would cling to the County forever. Throughout the last 77 years Lancashire’s squads have been littered with stars, from the homegrown likes of Pilling, Lever, Allott, Fairbrother, Atherton, and Flintoff – to overseas imports Engineer, Lloyd, Akram, Muralitharan, Law and Hooper. Yet for all the one-day successes and trophies Lancashire’s stars achieved – plus a shared

Lancashire, it seemed, were destined to be forever the bridesmaids

Championship with Surrey in 1950 - none of these illustrious names could ever call themselves County Champions. Lancashire, it seemed, were destined to be forever the bridesmaids. This year however, everything fell into place. Playing away from their Old Trafford home - which is currently under major redevelopment - Lancashire won ten and drew

Feature

Where are they now? Paul McGrath Jack Burke Sports Editor

Paul McGrath was a footballer that always attracted attention, sadly often for the wrong reasons. The Irish centre half enjoyed a fine career, starring in the Manchester United team that lifted the 1985 FA Cup. He also became a hero for Aston Villa in the early 90’s, racking up 252 appearances as well as being named Professional Football Association player of the year in 1993. On the International stage, McGrath represented the Republic of Ireland, winning 83 caps and playing at two World cups. His finest

hour coming at the 1994 tournament as Ireland beat Italy 1-0. McGrath was the star man, playing through injury in a brave defensive display. In the aftermath Irish manager Jack Charlton compared him with England’s legend, Bobby Moore, such was his cultured approach to defending. Yet sadly for McGrath he will also be remembered for his well documented off field problems. His drinking problems were a prominent feature of his career and were the main reason he left Manchester

Lancashire triumphed away from their traditional Old Trafford home

two of their 16 games, pipping Warwickshire at the last. There is a brilliant irony in that – on paper at least, it was one of Lancashire’s least glamorous sides which finally broke through the 77 year wall. The team which beat Somerset on the closing day boasted only a single International cap - and a large contingent of the young squad hail locally, from Blackpool to Chorley and Bury to Preston- a lack of heavyweight names which seemed to benefit rather than burden the side. It was also a vindication of a

United. He spiralled out of control at Aston Villa, attempting suicide on four occasions. Yet what was perhaps most astounding about the player was his on field performances despite these issues. He would often not train due to his drinking habits, but produce excellent displays for his team. This year the former defender has emerged in a new light, and is releasing his debut album on September 23rd. An album of covers, McGrath tackles songs by the likes of Elvis Costello and Christy Moore, turning out to be a surprisngly tender vocalist.A percentage of the profits will be going to the Acquired Brain Injury Foundation and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation of Ireland. You can listen to lead single, ‘Goin Back’’ at http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=FCbwXqoJGuo

policy of promoting youth - a policy which Lancashire, hamstrung by finances in a year in which legal fees nearly bankrupted the club - were somewhat forced into. Unable to afford an overseas professional after Farveez Maharoof departed to join the Sri Lanka squad they promoted a string of homegrown players and reaped the rewards – perhaps a lesson for other counties in the financially restricted arena of domestic cricket. Throughout the season there were a number of standout

performances. But for all the sporadic moments of individual brilliance - whether it was Gary Keedy’s haul of 60 wickets at an average of 23, Kyle Hogg’s 50 wickets and vital lower order runs, Simon Kerrigan’s 9-51 against Hampshire which kept Lancastrian dreams alive or Glenn Chapple steaming into bowl against Somerset despite a torn hamstring – this was a team victory. It was arguably no coincidence that Lancashire finally won the title in the year they were playing away from Old Trafford.

Historically haunted by the Mancunian weather Lancashire thrived at their temporary home at Aigburth, Liverpool, where the wickets provided lent themselves to results rather than drawn matches. Next year, Lancashire return to their famous old ground- and somewhere in the grand pavilion the Championship pennant will proudly hang once again. How long they’ll have to wait for another title remains to be seen, but it’s doubtful Lancashire fans will be suffering until 2088.

The Mancunion

Tweekly

@RobbieSavage8 – Just held a door open for a lady in the gym !!! – Robbie Savage milking his good deed for the day…. @RobbieSavage8 - Your not going to believe this just helped an old lady across the gym car park !!! – And why would it be so hard to believe, Robbie? @themichaelowen - Can't stand films but watched the Inbetweeners series so got to give it a go. Watched about 8 films in my life and 5 of them were Rocky!!! – Just when you thought he couldn’t be more boring… @themichaelowen - Our fans in stadium 45 mins after game singing their hearts out. When I emerged from dressing room they sang 'you scouse b*****d'! #magic – To be fair to the liverpudlian at least he took it in good humour. @Swannyg66 - Stephen Finn, bringing you howlingly atrocious tweets since 2010. #pleaselikeme – Graeme Swann’s damning assessment of Steve Finn’s twitter feed…. @finnysteve - Rapped hard to eminem all

Robbie doing his bit for the community. the way down the mway. Felt like B Rabbit from 8 mile. Taking on the other crews on the mean streets of Watford – Swanny’s got a very good point… @TheBig_Sam - A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna happen like that. Cos I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl. – Big Sam loves a bit of Gwen Stefani. @rioferdy5 - School run didn't go too well today..lil man went in no problems..got back in my car + noticed a whiff of poo...dogs poo all on my shoe ! – Fingers crossed it won’t #stayonyourfeet, Rio… @Joey7Barton - Going officially on record, as saying Lee Dixon is crap, on Motd. Hansen is brilliant. Dixo and Colin Murray are really bad! P45's please – For once Joey B speaks sense, apart from the bit about Hansen… @chriskammy - Update no power in Wolverhampton traffic light chaos !!! – It’s unbelievable, Jeff!!!

Sport

Come down to watch your university rugby teams in action.

Sport in Brief • As the Rugby World Cup goes on in New Zealand, Samoa centre Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu accused the IRB of belittling the smaller nations after Samoa had just 4 days in between games, facing a Wales side who had a weeks preparation.

• Ginger Mccain, the trainer of Red Rum, the only horse to have ever won 3 Grand National races, passed away last week at the age of 80.

• Great Britain’s men’s tennis team starring Andy Murray gained promotion back to Europe-Africa group 1 in the Davis Cup after a comfortable victory over Hungary in Glasgow.

Review

University Rugby ready for lift off Manchester Rugby Union looks for strong start in Varsity fixture Jack Burke Sports Editor

Get involved! To contact Jack and Paddy please email sport@mancunio n.com and also join the Facebook group www.facebook.c om/groups/Man cunionsport/ We’re always on the lookout for writers.

This week’s Varsity rugby match kicks off the University of Manchester’s sporting calendar, with the men and womens sides facing local rivals Manchester Metropolitan University and the University of Salford respectively. The annual fixtures will take place on Wednesday 28th September at Heywood Road; the home of Sale RUFC, a crowd of around 3,000 is expected to cheer on the teams. Both sides will be looking to lay down a marker for the season. Speaking to The Mancunion ahead of the fixture, men’s club captain Oli Lancaster was in confident mood as Manchester have had considerable success in this

fixture in previous years. Yet Lancaster, returning from a year studying abroad was keen to highlight the importance of the fixture for the men and women which provides “The only opportunity for the teams to play in front of big crowds of 3,500 people”, while also providing vital preparation for the season. Indeed, the fixture marks a new dawn for the men’s 1st XV who return to the BUCS Premier B division following a difficult few years. The fly half feels they are in their rightful place – “The last few years have been a bit of blip for us but we’re back at the right level, there are strong sides in this division such as Nottingham and Worcester but we can compete, we’re aiming for a top three finish”. Such a statement might

Both sides will be looking to lay down a marker for the season seem over confident for a newly promoted side, but a promising pre season has given the side belief. New coaching staff in the shape of South African Thiu Barnard and former 1st XV skipper Fergus Owens has added a more professional edge to the

team’s preparations which pleases Lancaster who sees the coach’s arrival as achieving the team’s “overriding aim to make sure we have a stable coaching setup”. It certainly seems to have borne fruit so far; with a recent friendly win over Newcastle University 1st XV, a powerhouse of the university rugby scene. “It was a huge result for us” according to Lancaster, “it gives us loads of confidence going into the new season, and shows that we can compete at the highest level”. Inevitably, there have been personnel changes in the team’s ranks for the season. But despite the loss of the likes of Kyle Booysens, the man of the match in last year’s Varsity game, the team should still be strong with a number of players returning to the fold from years abroad. Alongside Lancaster, England Students player Rob Saltrick returns from Italy to bolster the back row while Jonny Whittle will be looking to reclaim his no.9 shirt. These old heads will only add experience to the fledgling outfit which gelled so well in last season’s promotion charge. For the Women’s team their Varsity match against Salford also provides vital

preparation in what is a very important season for the side. The 1st XV are coming off the back of an excellent 4th place finish in the BUCS Premier Division last year. Speaking to The Mancunion, captain Sophie Rogers described this season as “a revolutionary year” for the ladies team. With a raft of new players they will be looking to build on last years performances. Like the men’s team they have also updated their coaching staff. Yet for Rogers the most important aspect of this year is to “make the club a much more professional outfit with a strong emphasis on fitness in order to compete with the likes of Leeds Met and Loughborough who lead the way in Women’s university rugby at present”. This aim however looks set to be reached with the arrival of a new strength and conditioning coach thanks to extra funding, which was a reward for the ladies excellent displays last season. The Varsity matches will start at 4:00pm on Wednesday, with the ladies taking on Salford before the men’s game. Tickets are available from rugby team reps outside the Student Union and also Owens Park in Fallowfield.