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Letter from the Publisher
Welcome to The Mango, formerly Fins Life Magazine. The original name was just a wee tad too close to a protected brand, so we took a step back, made a couple of margaritas, stretched out in our hammocks and pondered our new identity. The Mango surfaced quickly, and we love the tropical connection and even that it’s the national tree of Bangladesh, which, by the way, has some lovely beaches there on the Bay of Bengal. Mango trees grow more than 100 feet tall with a crown canopy between 35 and 50 feet. Just as the mango tree is large in its space, The Mango magazine anticipates being large in the publishing arena. The trees can live and be productive for up to 300 years, so we’re aspiring to follow their lead in longevity, too. While changing the name and our brand, we checked in with Vinnie and Sarah LaSorsa. They started the Freedom Fighter Outdoors non-profit [page 13] and are in charge of Last Mango Boatworks, Jimmy Buffett’s charity arm. His boat, for which Vinnie is the captain [page 8], is Last Mango. Not only did they embrace the new name, but also out of the conversation emerged the idea for a regular column called “Tales from the Last Mango” – stories of fishing adventures with Jimmy, some of the many wounded military service members they treat to fishing expeditions, lively experiences, destinations they love and who-knows-what-else. We’re excited about this series! Among all this, I found time to take the family to Margaritaville Resort Orlando, enjoy another ride through It’s a Small World and stay at the Margaritaville
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Cottages. There’s a real neighborhood feel, and it’s more quiet than the resort. So, the best of both worlds coexists side by side. You can experience live music, water park excitement, myriad sights and sounds of resort life, and walk quietly among the palm trees, over little bridges across ponds and immerse yourself in tropical escape mode. I couldn’t be there and not see the “Hemisphere Dancer”. Most readers know this is the airplane Jimmy Buffett landed in Jamaica with the Bono [of U2 fame] family on board. Upon landing, the Jamaican police force assumed a ready-aim-fire position. It was a not-so-funny case of mistaken identity, and when it was all sorted out and everyone was positive they were not running drugs, likely they went out to eat. Or drink. There could have been a margarita involved to alleviate any tension from being shot at. FYI, Jimmy holds a commercial pilot’s license. Multi-talented fellow he is. Finally, I put on my socks and some shoes and returned home, always a bit wistful for having to don footwear, but this time also excited to pull together this 3rd issue under the new name and get it out to you. Which brings up something else. We are discovering a great disparity in U.S. Postal Service delivery of the magazine. Some subscribers receive their copy in 3 days, even across the country, and others down the block are taking two weeks or more. We don’t have any control over this, so we stick with what we know – generating high quality, all color, informative, entertaining publications. And if you are reading this, you have yours! Phillip Vaught, Publisher May/June
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INSIDE 8
VINNIE LASORSA His passion for America
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PIRATE LORE Captain Morgan
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DESTINATION Turks and Caicos
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BACKYARD TIKI BAR Cat 6 - Jeff Westrich
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SEA TURTLES Relocation, rescue and rehab
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DAN SMITH From suit life to salt life 4
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March / April 2021
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PARROTHEAD PROFILE Colleen Fuchs
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RETIRING ON A BOAT Fixing things in exotic places
50
EXPLORING Chincoteague Pony Swim
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FEATURED RESORT Margaritaville Resort Orlando
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DESTINATION Coast of Maine
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DEEP TRACKS Nobody speaks to the captain no more mango-mag.com
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Vo l u m e 1 Is s ue 3
Photo by Terry Vlisidis
M A N G O - MAG.COM info@mango-mag.com
PUBLISHER Phillip Vaught Country Media, Inc. P.O.Box A Rich Creek, VA 24147 MANAGING EDITOR Joanne M. Anderson WRITERS Emily Alberts Joanne Anderson Emma Beaver Kameron Bryant Johnny Cate Krisha Chachra Jo Clark Karl Kazaks Nancy Moseley
PHOTOGRAPHERS Kristie Lea Photography Laura’s Focus Photography Ryan Spencer Sean O Christopher Alvarenga
© 2021 Country Media, Inc. This publication is not affiliated with Jimmy Buffett or the Margaritaville companies. Features do not represent an endorsement by this publication. Content cannot be reproduced Mango without consent from Country Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 6 writtenThe
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Letter from the Managing Editor
I
called our local Kroger grocery store a while back to see if they had a tiramisu cake I’d buy the next day. To be honest, I choked up a little on the phone about it being my birthday. When I picked up the cake, it had ribbons on it, plus a fresh carnation with another ribbon. There was a receipt taped on it, and when I checked out, the cashier said: “Looks like this has been paid for at the bakery.” I told him I did not pay for it, so add it on, which he did. Once at home, I sliced a piece, called it lunch, and looked again at the receipt. Indeed, it had been paid for with a debit card, and I realized someone paid for my birthday cake, added ribbons and a fresh flower! Since I also paid for it, I wrote the manager to refund the bakery lady’s money. (I knew it was the lady who answered the phone, but I never have known her name.) When people do that sort of thing and do not sign their name, they wish to stay anonymous, which reminds me of the Vermont farmer and the city slicker. The urban fellow got his fancy Corvette stuck in mud on a back road. Vermont is famous for mud; it’s a whole season aptly dubbed Mud Season. The farmer brought his tractor and chains to the scene and pulled that sports car to dry ground. When the city slicker pulled out a $100 bill, the farmer took a deep breath. A hundred bucks is real money to a farmer. But, the farmer backed up a step and offered this: “I have the good feeling that I’ve helped someone today. If I accept your Ben Franklin note, then I’ve been paid, and that feeling, young man, is not for sale.” And for that reason, I did not track down the name of the bakery lady. Even though she has her money back, she retains that good feeling of having quietly blessed someone. Anonymously. A stranger. On the telephone. Me. Thank you. So, who knew in 1995, Jimmy Buffett started Sing for Change, setting aside a dollar from every concert ticket to provide grants to small, grassroots organizations in communities, often where he performed. He has quietly donated more than $10 million. That, folks, is real money, too. Buffett’s boat captain, Vinnie LaSorsa [see page 8], was possibly within an hour of joining the U.S. Marines when he got the job offer. Still yearning to serve his country, LaSorsa began taking injured soldiers on fishing
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expeditions and saltwater adventures. That mushroomed into Freedom Fighter Outdoors, another charitable organization making a difference. It’s the Vinnies and the Jimmys, the farmers and the bakery ladies who enrich the lives of others in a oneway stream of love, patriotism, appreciation, compassion, respect and quiet generosity. And those who help turtles (see page 30), volunteer at animal shelters and even step up to adopt a Chincoteague pony (see page 50) to keep the herds thinned appropriately make the world a beautiful place. Thanks for reading The Mango, subscribing, gifting it, sending impressions and suggestions and being part of our wonder and awe for all things beachy, sandy, sunny and tropical. Joanne M. Anderson, Jmawriter1@gmail.com
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Vinnie LaSorsa and His Passion for America
Vinnie LaSorsa, Jimmy Buffett, Joey LaSorsa, Sarah LaSorsa, Ella LaSorsa
Text by Joanne M. Anderson Photos courtesy of Last Mango Boatworks 8
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The 697-foot luxury liner Andrea Doria was named for the 16th-century Genoese
admiral of the same name and claimed Genoa, Italy, as its home port. It was the first ship to boast three outdoor swimming pools, along with multiple dining rooms, lounges, decks and socializing areas. Her maiden voyage began on Dec. 14, 1952, and her final voyage, which ended in sinking, commenced July 17, 1956. Aboard the ship on its final journey
to New York, dubbed the Southern Sunny Route, was a young couple, Maria Tenaglia and Rocco Tenaglia, and their 2-year-old daughter, Gina Tenaglia. These Italian natives
traveled toward a new life in an unknown country reputed to be “the land of the free and home of the brave,” penned by Francis Scott Key more than a century before. They did not need the Internet in mid-20th century Italy to have known about the land of seemingly unlimited opportunity. Here, they had learned, a man born in a log cabin could grow up to be president, and its military might would fight across the ocean for the freedom of people whom they did not know, whose language they did not speak. With few possessions and many hopes and dreams in their hearts, the little family bade good-bye to their beloved homeland.
This magnificent ocean vessel could travel across ocean waters at a routine speed of 23 knots, or 26.46 miles per hour, with a top speed of 26 knots, or 29.92 mph. Eight days after departure, the coastline of the United States of America would have come into view on a clear day. Just before noon, the Andrea Doria was struck in a thick fog by a Swedish passenger liner.
Quickly, the Andrea Doria began taking on water and listed severely to starboard, rendering half of its lifeboats useless.
Evacuation began within 30 minutes of impact, and in maritime procedures, women and children were instructed to enter lifeboats first, separating Rocco from Maria and little Gina. Several ships in the area responded to the distress call, and 1,660 of the 1,706 people on board were rescued.
The young Italian family was reunited, and the Tenaglias made their new home in New York City. Gina grew up, married Joseph LaSorsa, and a generation later, her own 2-year-old son, first generation Americanborn Vinnie LaSorsa, would gravitate toward water, boats, fishing, swimming, canoeing, doing something in or on water every chance he got. A passion for America also grew in his heart. By high school, he was ice fishing around New York, and boating and ocean fishing at their summer home on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.
SS Andrea Doria
By Unknown Author - www.naviearmatori.net
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Vinnie loves boats the way the rest of us like to breathe. He was working on boats at every opportunity, taking jobs as a mate, deck hand or anything else over summers and spring breaks anywhere along the eastern seaboard, the Bahamas, wherever. He worked with charter and fishing vessels and assisted NASCAR’s Rick Hendrick with his boat. He spent time working at Merritt’s Boat & Engine Works in Pompano Beach, Fla., a third generation family business known for exceptional quality in boat building, service, repair, sales and marine supplies. Vinnie earned his captain’s license before turning 20. It was Vinnie’s father’s career with the U.S. Secret Service and his own patriotism that propelled him in that direction. “I visited dad several times at The White House,” Vinnie recalls, “where he worked protecting Presidents Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton.” Living in Annapolis through most of his formative school years, Vinnie grew up immensely proud to be an American. He attended Florida Atlantic University, and upon graduation, there was a hiring freeze for secret service agents. “My dad said the best way to get in would be to join the military first,” Vinnie says. He wanted very much to serve his country, so he connected with a U.S. Marine recruiter, went through some of the tests and was very close to signing on the dotted line and getting the military’s signature crew cut when life threw him a curve ball.
Jimmy Buffett Connection Right around this time, singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett was looking for a boat captain. He asked various people for recommendations, understanding that word-of-mouth is often the best way to find what you’re looking for. Surely, Vinnie LaSorsa was but one of the names which came across his radar. “I never thought I would get the job,” Vinnie reveals. “Neither did a few other people, primarily because I was so young, 23 at that time. The Marine recruiter said if I did get offered the job to definitely latch onto such a wonderful 10
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Fifteen years hence, Vinnie LaSorsa, 38, is still captain of Last Mango, Jimmy Buffett’s 42-foot sport fishing boat.
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opportunity.” It turns out that Vinnie did get the job, ironically in part, because he was so young. “Jimmy Buffett wanted someone who came without any bad habits, and I, of course, hadn’t had the time to form any. He wanted someone he could shape into precisely what he wanted and expected in a boat captain.” Fifteen years hence, Vinnie LaSorsa, 38, is still captain of Last Mango, Jimmy Buffett’s 42-foot sport fishing boat. Vinnie lives in Florida, and the boat is moored somewhere between the Florida Keys and Palm Beach in winter unless it’s in the Bahamas or some tropical island destination. In summer, it journeys north to various places along the coast, LaSorsa at the helm.
Freedom Fighter Outdoors “When my brother, Joe, went into the U.S. Marines, I learned how really challenging and sacrificial military life can be. Even when I signed up, I had no clue about the physical, mental and emotional energy that must be invested in serving in our armed forces,” Vinnie declares. “I love my job and still, I wanted - almost needed - to find a way to serve my country.” The recruiter who advised him to take the boat captain job told Vinnie: “If you want to do something for your country, you will figure something out.” And he did. It came together by serving many of the ones who served our country, sustaining life-altering injuries. In 2009, Vinnie started taking injured vets out on fishing excursions. “I connected with Wounded Warriors Project®,” Vinnie explains, “and on my first fishing excursion, I took out Jonathan Pruden and three others.” Pruden, a wounded warrior himself, is Wounded Warrior Project’s® Senior Warrior Relations Specialist. He has testified before the U.S. Senate and U.S. House committees about DoD-VA transition issues, palliative care, prosthetics, support for caregivers, and other challenges facing injured veterans. “We set out on that first fishing adventure at 8 a.m. with 36 live bait. We ran out three hours 12
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Giving Back
Freedomfighteroutdoors.com The mission of Freedom Fighter Outdoors is to honor and empower injured veterans and reduce the growing numbers of post-war veteran suicide. Freedom Fighter Outdoors is growing and able to serve and honor more and more veterans each year. In 2016, Freedom Fighter Outdoors launched an outreach program of six injured veterans called Freedom Fighter Outreach Officers. These six injured veterans recruit other injured veterans, mentor injured veterans and help organize events. This has been crucial in helping Freedom Fighter Outdoors build its database of injured veterans and support injured veterans suffering with PTSD.
What started as the name of a boat has turned into a simple way to make a difference; you purchase apparel and we give the proceeds to charity. Our Last Mango gear is inspired by our adventures and where the boat takes us. Every product available online is something we would use whether we are chasing sailfish off of south Florida’s coast or walking the beaches of Montauk.
Currently supported charities: Singing for Change Freedom Fighter Outdoors
Show your support by visiting the Last Mango shop
Show your support by visiting the F.F.O. shop mango-mag.com
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later, catching yellowfin and blackfin tuna, king mackerel and mahi mahi. It was a phenomenal day, like divine intervention,” relates the enthusiastic boat captain and grateful patriot. “Others volunteered their boats, including Jimmy Buffett, and it became a 2-boat event, then a 5-boat event, and it had a crazy snowball effect.” Sometimes Vinnie feels a bit guilty for not having served in the military, but now he knows he’s making a difference in the lives of many who did. To meet them is humbling, welcome them aboard, assist them as needed, hand them a fishing pole, catch their smiles and see their cares and challenges melt away for a day in the salty air on the open water.
In 2014, Vinnie, his wife Sarah, family and friends founded Freedom Fighter Outdoors, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization “which organizes outdoor activities for injured veterans of any age to build camaraderie and to facilitate in adjusting back to civilian life.” [freedomfighteroutdoors.org] Events still include offshore fishing, inshore or freshwater fishing, as well as hunting and target shooting activities along the East coast, Texas and California. Singing for Change is a private foundation -- formally SFC Charitable Foundation, Inc. -- founded by Jimmy Buffett in 1995. One dollar of each concert ticket has been set aside across the decades. Grants topping a whopping $10 million have been awarded to small, grassroots organizations, often in the communities where Jimmy performs. When he caught wind of Vinnie’s outings with injured soldiers, he offered his boat and has folded Freedom Fighter Outdoors into his Last Mango Boatworks charity vision. Vinnie LaSorsa carries in his heart the passion for America handed down from his grandparents and his parents. He profoundly treasures what they dreamed of and what they realized ~ to live, work, play and raise their families in “the land of the free and home of the brave.”
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Vinnie LaSorsa carries in his heart the passion for America handed down from his grandparents and his parents
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Captain Morgan The Accidental Pirate Text by Kameron Bryant
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Henry Morgan was born in Wales somewhere around January in 1635 . . . Though we all have come to know Captain Morgan as the pirate on the spiced rum label, Henry Morgan was not technically a pirate.
Maybe
it’s a beachside favorite, maybe it brings back
memories of college house parties better left forgotten, but we all know the name Captain Morgan from the spiced rum. But what about the man behind the pirate mascot?
Henry Morgan was born in Wales somewhere around January in
1635, though the exact date and year is uncertain. It’s also uncertain who
his parents were, though some sources believe his father was a farmer named Robert Morgan. The details of Morgan’s early life and career are
widely acknowledged as ambiguous; they remain a collection of blurry speculations and educated guesswork.
How Morgan came to the Caribbean is also unclear. Some think
it probable that he traveled as part of Robert Venable’s army in 1654
(Venable captured Jamaica for England in 1655). He may have served
as an apprentice in exchange for travel fare. He may have even been kidnapped and sold in Barbados. Rumors and mysteries abound.
Though we all have come to know Captain Morgan as the pirate
on the spiced rum label, Henry Morgan was not technically a pirate. And he most likely would have resented the “pirate” tag. Morgan was a privateer sanctioned by the British government to attack the settlements
of countries England was at war with in the Caribbean and Central America. And yet, Morgan would eventually become an accidental pirate.
Morgan seemed to care a great deal about his reputation, which
leads one to assume he wouldn’t have been pleased being labeled as a pirate. In 1684, an English translation of History of the Buccaneers
of America circulated in England; it was written by Morgan’s former
shipmate, Alexandre Exquemelin. The book cast Morgan in a bloodthirsty light, particularly a passage about Morgan’s attack on Porto Bello in 1668, where he was rumored to have used religious men, women and nuns as human shields against the enemy. Morgan sued for libel, and won.
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Timeline Confusion
Pirate vs. Privateer
How
does
one
become
an
accidental
Ever since England captured Jamaica in 1655,
pirate? When thinking of the well-known pirates out
previously a Spanish territory, relations between
combination of the two, accidental piracy doesn’t
no farther than Morgan’s own sanctioned raids against
When Blackbeard, or Edward Teach, pillaged merchant
and Spain signed the Treaty of Madrid in an effort to
Sea and sought to enhance his terrifying appearance
America. The treaty’s signing effectively voided all
black beard when around the enemy), this does not
Henry Morgan missed that memo.
blockaded the Charleston Harbor in 1718, plundered
Treaty of Madrid was signed, Spanish privateers had
halt, and took hostages to later ransom. Similarly,
Queen Regent of Spain, Mariana of Austria. Sir Thomas
the Caribbean films was definitely not an accidental
directive to strike back. And Morgan did just that -- in
almost causes one to forget his crimes “against the
had been signed). He took hold of Old Providence and
For years, Morgan had ravaged settlements in
January 1671, Morgan’s group of privateers (or pirates?)
Puerto Principe (now Camagüey, Cuba), Porto Bello,
returned home, where he received official thanks from
known to have struck. Morgan carted off the plunder
three sugar plantations in Jamaica.
Modyford violated the terms of the Treaty of Madrid. In
technicalities. The job descriptions of a pirate and a
of war, King Charles II of England ordered the arrest of
difference between piracy and Morgan’s day job of
back to London, where Modyford spent two years in the
through a letter of marque and reprisal, or at the very
treatment. According to Douglas Burgess, author of The
whose ships and settlements were under attack. And
in London, and he was largely viewed as “a hero and
there, whether fictional, real, or some myth-fueled
England and Spain had been contentious. One can look
appear to play a large role in the stories we hear.
Spain’s settlements to see that. But in July 1670, England
ships along the Atlantic Coast and in the Caribbean
settle all the disputes occurring in the Caribbean and
(such as attaching burning fuses to his infamous
previous letters of marque and reprisal regarding Spain.
seem an accident. It also wasn’t an accident when he
five ships, caused the harbor’s shipping traffic to
attacked British trade ships under the order of the
the fictional Captain Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of
Modyford, the governor of Jamaica, gave Morgan the
pirate, though his eccentric, endearing character
December of 1670 (five months after the peace treaty
crown” that earned him the title.
Santa Catalina. He conquered Fort San Lorenzo. And in
the Caribbean and Central America as a privateer —
was successful in capturing Old Panama City. Morgan
Maracaibo and Gibraltar are a few locations he’s
the Council of Jamaica.
and became quite wealthy, eventually purchasing
attacks led by Morgan and sanctioned by Governor
Apparently, an act of piracy was all in the
an effort to appease and quell the subsequent rumblings
privateer were the same: attack and plunder. The key
both Modyford and Morgan. Both were transported
privateering was that the attack had to be licensed
Tower of London. Morgan was lucky to receive better
least, England had to be at war with the rival nation
Pirates’ Pact, Morgan never set foot in a jail cell while
that’s where Morgan got into trouble.
potential martyr.” Instead of being villainized for his
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In March 1670, just four months before the
Clearly, the Spanish were not happy, and the
accidental act of piracy, Morgan became a celebrity.
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Sir Henry Morgan, to you In 1674, King Charles knighted the privateer turned accidental pirate as Sir Henry Morgan and sent him back to Jamaica where he would serve as deputy to John Vaughan, 3rd Earl of Carbery, the new governor of Jamaica. They didn’t get on well. Morgan maintained his affable relationships with the surly crowd of privateers and pirates, although he was supposed to ensure piracy was eradicated in Jamaica. Governor Vaughan strongly condemned Morgan’s social circle, along with his heavy drinking habits that only seemed to increase with time. Morgan remained in Jamaica until his death. Unlike his birth date, the date of his death is more concrete, though the exact reason remains obscure. It could have been tuberculosis, edema or liver cirrhosis. Whatever the cause, excessive consumption of alcohol didn’t do Morgan any favors, making it somewhat ironic that he now graces bottles of rum. Morgan died on August 25, 1688, at the age of 53 (if the birth year is correct). He was given an honorable state funeral where amnesty was bestowed so pirates could pay their respects without fearing arrest. It was Samuel Bronfman, CEO of the Seagram Company, who named the rum and purchased rights to produce and sell the original recipe from the Levy Brothers pharmacy in Kingston, Jamaica. Maybe he chose the name because the rum is distilled from sugar cane, and Morgan owned three sugar plantations. Perhaps Bronfman admired Morgan’s effective skirting around the law, something Bronfman had in common during the US Prohibition when he had dealings with bootleggers.
Don Maitz is the artist who created the Captain Morgan mascot that graces the spiced rum bottles. He’s known for his award-winning art primarily in the science fiction and fantasy realms. In other pirate-related works, he created the artwork for the game Raiding Parties: Golden Age of Piracy.
• He was a pirate (even if an accidental one). • He owned sugar plantations. • He was clearly a cunning man who liked to drink.
The scene from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl where Sparrow is about to be hanged reminds viewers of his offences against England in a pretty long list: “piracy; smuggling; falsification of letters of marque and reprisal; impersonating an officer of the British Royal Navy; impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy; impersonating a cleric of the Church of England; sailing under false colors; arson; kidnapping; looting; poaching; brigandage; pilfering; depravity; depredation; and general lawlessness.” It’s safe to say that most of this was not accidental.
It does make one wonder about the meaning behind the rum’s slogan: “Live like the Captain.”
Kameron Bryant is a freelance writer based in southwest
Or it could have resulted from some combination of all the facts we know about Morgan:
Virginia. Though she loves reading adventurous pirate stories, she’d take wine over rum and the mountains over the sea any day. mango-mag.com
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Give Yourself Some Grace Bay
Turks and Caicos Looking for serenity on a beautiful Caribbean beach?
Text by senior writer Krisha Chachra
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Looking for serenity on a beautiful Caribbean beach? After the year we have had, we all deserve to relax in peace, play in the sun and breathe with the rhythm of a calming tide. We’ve made sacrifices we never thought we would, worked from home, and taught children from living rooms and kitchen tables as the pandemic persisted. Now it is time to let that all go and just get away. My pick for the best Caribbean beach vacation – with or without kids – is Grace Bay on the island of Providenciales in Turks and Caicos. Provo, as the locals call it, is only a 2.5-hour flight from Charlotte Douglas International Airport. Once you get there, you’ll see why Grace Bay, the crescent shaped shoreline mango-mag.com
in Provo, is consistently named the most gorgeous beach in the Caribbean. This beach is a staggering 12-mile stretch of powdery white sand lining a backdrop of crystal-clear turquoise water which goes knee-deep for miles. I have been to several beaches in the Caribbean, but honestly, Grace Bay drowns all the competition. The landscape is immaculate, and the locals take so much pride in keeping their shoreline clean. There are no signs of trash and no plastic or carelessly chucked-over items floating in the water. At the time we visited, no buildings, except where we stayed at the Seven Stars Resort, had permits to build more than four stories high. Besides May/June
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the zoning and building codes that keep the island authentic, the locals are self-policing and will report any harassment on tourists. They understand the value of visitors and help to maintain a warm welcome. Provo is easy for Americans. The local currency is the dollar and ATMs are plentiful. Navigation around the island is a breeze if you can remember to drive on the left side of the road. If that’s too much of a hassle, the locals will be happy to drive you. Most cab drivers will take you to your destination and ask that you call them back for a return trip - you pay them on the return. The beach is untouched and not crowded. If you’re staying in one of the handful of resorts on the bay, you most likely will have a beach attendant 22
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to serve drinks and food as you soak in the sun. The water is teeming with marine life; I found a big, brilliant orange starfish close to shore, but the conch is Provo’s main claim to fame. The locals farm them, sell their shells and eat the meat as a delicacy. Definitely make sure to visit a conch farm while you are there – the kids will love it – or go on a snorkel trip where a guide will free dive to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve one for you. They will extract the conch, make a conch ceviche for you to eat and teach you to clean the shell so you can take it home as a souvenir. If that’s too rustic for you, at least try the cooked conch fritters at the famous local barefoot diver bar, Bugaloo’s. Speaking of restaurants, Provo has plenty of good eats including a variety of establishments for
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the refined palate. The most popular, Coco Bistro, an open-air dining experience under the palm trees, requires reservations months ahead of time. We opted for the breathtaking sunset views of the bay and harbor at Magnolia on the terrace. For elegant, sophisticated flair, make reservations at Parallel23 to sample a fusion of exotic, international flavors and Caribbean specialties. But the real flavor of this island is truly experienced on the water. Grace Bay is perfect for anyone who wants to try paddle boarding, sailing or kayaking in its calm, inviting waters. If you’re more of a thrill-seeker, venture to the other side to Shore Club for some of the best kite surfing conditions in the world. Another popular water activity is horseback mango-mag.com
riding on the beach where the horses walk leg-deep in the ocean allowing you to graze your toes along water as you ride down the shoreline.
At the end of each relaxing day, we would sip cool drinks and unwind on the sand as the sun sank low on the water. After living through a stressful pandemic, Grace Bay in all its grace and glory, may truly help you restore balance and peace of mind. Krisha Chachra is a freelance writer, communications instructor and coach who has traveled to over 50 countries and 6 continents. She resides in Charlotte, N.C., and escapes to the islands whenever she can. www.krishachachra.com
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Backyard Tiki Bar
Tiki Tricks when you combine a love of entertaining with Jimmy Buffett, it’s magic Text by Nancy S. Moseley
Photos courtesy of Gene Price
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Text by Nancy S. Moseley Photos by Randy Hamilton hamiltonimages.com
When you ask resident backyard bar pirates, Jack and Diane (and the 6-inch Waldo doll), who throws the best backyard beach parties in Navarre, Fla., they’re sure to say their proprietor, Jeff Westrich. “I love to keep people entertained. We play a lot of games,” Westrich offers on the get-togethers he hosts at The Cat 6 Tiki Bar, thusly named for a hurricane category that doesn’t actually exist. “I bought a small Waldo doll that I hide throughout the bar and people try to find him all night.” There’s also a golf ball and tee game, a ring and hook game and a shotski (a snow ski with multiple affixed shot glasses). And then there are the magic tricks. Westrich started performing magic when he was 10 years old in Miami and grew up to become a professional magician on a cruise ship. It’s a talent he still employs. “People come over all the time and ask me to break out a deck of cards. They look forward to it, and it gives me an opportunity to perform.” When he married, he left the cruise ship life behind and moved to sensible Delaware to begin a career in the automobile industry. He and his wife, Julie, raised two kids there over the next 25 years. mango-mag.com
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“Then suddenly we realized we didn’t have to battle the winters anymore,” Westrich recalls. So they packed up moved back to his native state. “It’s absolutely stunning here. The Gulf of Mexico is very crystal clear, you can see down to the bottom, and the sand is cool and white. It’s what Jimmy Buffett sings about all the time.” Westrich, having always been into the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle, started seeing him in concert when he came through Philadelphia. “The parking lot parties always excited me. It’s a religious experience.” When the Westrich family threw big parties in Delaware, they turned their entire backyard into the equivalent of a Jimmy Buffett parking lot. He called the soirée West Fest, and people came dressed in Hawaiian shirts, sarongs and coconut bras. After the move to Florida, he got to work transforming his new backyard to be West Fest ready. In configuring the tiki bar, Westrich knew he wanted to have people on at least three sides and needed to be strategic with where he positioned it in the backyard. The construction took place in his
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garage, and he chose red cedar because Florida bugs and termites have an aversion to cedar. All materials were purchased locally except the support poles and roof framework which were shipped from New Jersey. But the most challenging part, by far, was figuring out how to get it out of the garage. “It was too tall and too big to get out of the garage!” Westrich called in a professional engineer who deduced either the bar or the garage ceiling needed to be cut. As any respectable tiki bar craftsman would do, he chose to sacrifice the garage ceiling in order to save the bar. Live palm fronds make up the thatched roof, and tiki torches are scattered throughout with electric ones near the palm fronds. There is a fire pit and, of course, a pool. He opted against a TV because of his amassed collection of signs he’s either been gifted over the years or purchased himself. Music happens through a simple Bluetooth speaker, and often friends chip in to hire an acoustic guitarist to play poolside. “We mainly drink and tell stories here. People come over and sit at the bar and read all my signs.
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“I feel very passionate about this whole thing and what I’ve accomplished. My wife said, ‘you’re never going to be finished with it, it’s a tiki bar!’”
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They enjoy trying to find different signs.” This spring Westrich is preparing to host his 6th annual West Fest and the first one since moving to Florida. Even some regulars from the Delaware edition are traveling down for the occasion. To make finding his home easier on the out-oftowners, Westrich made his bar searchable on Google, so when you typed in “Cat 6 Tiki Bar,” directions would result. The problem with that convenience, of course, is 28
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that anyone could search his backyard bar. One night he received a call from a group of pub crawlers wanting to know how late The Cat 6 would be open. “My wife made me pull it down off of Google immediately,” he laughs. A self-touted ‘old soul,’ Westrich prefers ‘70s-era Jimmy, and his drinks of choice are Landshark lager or tequila, naturally. He and his wife recently took a vacation on a 53’ catamaran with a several other
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couples. They sailed off to the Bahamas, listened to trop rock, drank rum and snorkeled. “I feel very passionate about this whole thing and what I’ve accomplished. My wife said, ‘you’re never going to be finished with it, it’s a tiki bar!’” And true to the wise words of the backyard bar wife, it isn’t quite finished. “I have an orange tree that’s sitting in a pot which I need to plant in the ground. Because if you’re going to live in Florida, you need an orange tree. But, really, I’ve created everything I’ve wanted, and now I just want to start enjoying life,” Westrich concludes. After a few seconds he adds as an afterthought: “The only thing that’s missing is bras hanging from the ceiling. Every tiki bar needs bras hanging from the ceiling.” Here’s hoping West Fest 2021 yields good storytelling, laughs, games, memories and ... plenty of bras. Nancy S. Moseley is a freelance writer who is welcome at The Cat 6 whenever she finds herself on the sunny Gulf Coast. In lieu of traveling down for West Fest 2021, she is considering sending a bra in regards.
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PART
1
Sea TURTLES
The Three R’s: Relocation, Rescue and Rehabilitation
Text by Jo Clark 30
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T
They say you can’t go home again, but
It Takes a Village to Raise a Hatchling
every spring, sea turtles do just that --
they go home — to breed and nest.
all loggerheads nesting in South Carolina — the most
Studies show that turtles return and
significant number of nests in the Northern Recovery
dig their nest close to where they were hatched.
Unit (north of Cape Canaveral, Fla.). Cape Romain has
There are more than 100 eggs in each nest,
nesting sites on four islands. Edward “Jerry” Tupacz
even nearing 200 isn’t uncommon. In a mere 55 days,
heads up the Lighthouse and Cape Islands program,
roughly 65-85% of the eggs successfully hatch. Those
with 40 to 60 annual volunteers. Half of those
hatchlings claw their way to the surface of their sandy
volunteers put in most of the total volunteer hours
nest. Then, following instinct (plus moonlight and
assisting Jerry and three staff members.
starlight), they make their way to the ocean to live,
and hopefully someday to return to a dark beach and
thrive. They donate (pay and provide) two or three
sea turtles dig the dark!
workers who alternate days during the nesting season.
By working with the Cape Romain program, they are
Sea Turtle Programs
trained in turtle conservation, which allows them to be
The South Carolina Department of Natural
more valuable in their jobs at Dewees Island, north of
Resources (SCDNR) has maintained a sea turtle
Isle of Palms.
program since the late 1970s. The Rescue and Recovery
programs provide for the protection and conservation
a
local
tour
and
full-time workers whose time is donated to the Cape
recorded, and, when necessary, carefully relocated.
Romain program during turtle season each year.
Relocation is essential when the nest is found in a
threatening location. Some have been laid too near
The nesting season runs from early May
through the first week of September. Those hatchlings
the water’s edge where the pounding of the waves
make their crawl nearly two months later. The
endangers the safety of unhatched eggs.
loggerhead is the most common of the nesters. A
South Carolina boasts more than 186 miles of
mature female lays three to four nests, with the overall
ocean-facing beaches, providing the perfect nesting
average decreasing slightly in the past few years. The
locale for sea turtles. Loggerheads, leatherbacks, green
decline is because younger turtles produce fewer
turtles and even the infrequent Kemp’s ridley sea turtles
nests in a season and fewer eggs in each nest. With
are known to nest on South Carolina beaches. The U.
the oldest females, five or six nests in the season are
S. Fish and Wildlife Service oversees The Cape Romain
common, and some produce as many as seven clutches
National Wildlife Refuge which consists of 66,287 acres
a year. Sexual maturity for the turtle is between 20 and
near Awendaw, about 30 miles from Charleston.
Expeditions,
Coastal Expedition Foundation. This group hires two
staff, nests are cataloged, monitored, GPS coordinates
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Coastal
expedition company founded in 1992, has started the
of sea turtles. With the help of volunteers and a tiny
The Dewees Island Conservancy’s mission
is to protect barrier island wetlands and help nature
start families of their own. As we say in South Carolina,
The refuge is home to approximately 30% of
30 years old.
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Relocation Process
Nests that need to be relocated are dug up by teams of two or three volunteers taking care to prevent damage to any of the eggs. The eggs are removed, counted and placed in a bucket in the same position found in the nest. A new hole is dug in the dunes, and the eggs are carefully placed in it and covered with sand. PVC poles are placed at the head of each nest, indicating the coded number corresponding to information for the nesting date, the number of eggs, and where patrol initially found the nest. In some areas, the nest is also covered with wire mesh to protect against excavating predators like raccoons or coyotes.
DNA Testing
Because this group participates in a three-state DNA project, one egg from every nest is sacrificed. The shell is carefully broken, and the contents are squeezed into a sterile test tube which is marked with the nest’s identification number and date. A second tube holds the shell. The data is submitted and combined with North Carolina’s and Georgia’s information for analysis. These DNA samples tell researchers which turtle has nested in which location and how many nests they produce in a season. It also allows tracking of the turtles. It appeared that some turtles in Georgia laid only two nests in a season. Through DNA comparisons, researchers found that at least two of those turtles also crossed the state line and nested in South Carolina as well.
Photos by Jo Clark
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The sea turtle program collects a great deal
Counting Turtles That Hatch
of information found at www.SeaTurtle.org.
Nests that have been laid in a safe area
The statistics paint a picture of turtle life. It
are left “in situ,” but have an egg pulled for DNA.
starts with the number of nesting sites and
The nests are marked, recorded and watched for hatching.
the number of false crawls, which is when a
workers dig up and examine all the eggshells. A
without digging a nest. This abandonment
broken eggs, deceased turtles, and frequently, baby
spot she likes or because something onshore
After the hatchlings crawl from a nest,
female comes ashore but returns to the sea
count is made of successfully hatched, bad eggs,
could happen because she doesn’t find a
turtles that have not yet made it out of the nest.
disturbs her.
When no predators like seagulls are in sight, these hatchlings are released to crawl to the ocean.
What should you do?
Volunteer Turtle Counters
All this monitoring, digging and relocating
involves more than 1,100 individuals in just South
If you find a dead, sick, or injured sea turtle in
Carolina nest monitoring every year. Assistance
South Carolina, call SCDNR’s around-the-clock
comes from the Department of Parks and Recreation,
hotline at 800-922-5431.
Coastal Carolina University and volunteers. In Horry
They will ask you:
and Georgetown counties, volunteers work with
• The exact location of the turtle
South Carolina United Turtle Enthusiasts (SCUTE).
• The condition and size of the turtle
Turtle patrols rely heavily on volunteers.
• Whether the turtle has spray paint on its
Last year, South Carolina volunteers logged more
back (this indicates a dead turtle that is already
than 200,000 hours and traveled 1.2 million miles
documented)
to participate in turtle patrol programs. North
• The location of the closest access point (i.e.,
Carolina’s numbers were about 75,000 hours and
road numbers or names, beach access road)
250,000 miles. If workers were paid only $10 an hour
If the turtle is alive, please stay with it until help
and 53 cents a mile, that would have cost more than
arrives.
$2 million in wages plus more than $636,000 in mileage!
Volunteers receive hands-on training in
Jo Clark is a happily-retired teacher, travel writer, photographer, food and wine lover from South Carolina’s Grand Strand. She is also a turtle volunteer whose heart melted the first time she held a hatchling before releasing it to make its struggle to the sea. Her website is www. HaveGlassWillTravel.com.
identifying false crawls, nesting sites, probing for the actual nest, and hand digging to locate the eggs.
The procedure for removing the eggs, temporarily storing them in buckets, and digging a new nest is also covered. There is a technique for pulling open a shell for DNA testing that workers can only learn
Part 2 of this article includes valuable information on turtle rescue, rehabilitation and lots of “things you may not know” about turtles. It’s fascinating. Look for Part 2 in JulyAugust.
in person. Shells are relatively soft and pliable the first 24 hours after being laid, so it isn’t like cracking open an egg for your omelet. Every turtle life is precious, so correct egg handling is vital. mango-mag.com
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Suit Life to
Salt Life Text by Nancy S. Moseley
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How one man turned his love of classic Buffett into a dream career.
Dan Smith doesn’t know how many Jimmy
with a position back in Cincinnati and ending up in New York City, with a brief stint in Houston along the
Buffett concerts he’s been to; he’s not the type to keep
way. He was in New York when the pandemic started,
a tally or even the ticket stubs. He does, however,
finding himself in yet another less-than-ideal situation.
remember that his very first one was less than ideal.
“I was a lawn seat guy,” he chuckles. “You can’t really
when the pandemic started, I decided to change my
hear the music and you barely see him.”
life and move to Key West. I turned COVID into my
The 35-year-old grew up in Cincinnati which
dream,” Smith relates. He hung up his suit and tie for
was, he jokes (with a fairly serious undertone), also
good, traded in expensive Manhattan Manhattans for
less than ideal. “Maybe because it’s so miserable to
2-dollar beach beers and settled into salt life. Leaning
live there, it’s like a mecca for Parrotheads. You always
on his love for early Buffett, in 2020 he launched the
want to get out.”
Instagram profile, Classic_Buffett. Smith wanted to
With droves of Ohioans regularly escaping
reach back past the modern day Parrothead phenom
to the sunnier shores of Florida, no wonder the River
and invoke, as he states, “mustache era” Buffett.
City trends toward the tropical. In fact, the term “Parrothead” was coined in Cincinnati in 1985 after
“I’ve always liked ‘70s music and ‘70s style, it’s so much fun. I thought I should just start this old page featuring Buffett in the mustache era when he was amazingly cool, traveling the Keys and sailing.”
Jimmy likened his loyal concert crowd, adorned in Hawaiian shirts and parrot hats, to Deadheads.
Growing up, Smith and his family joined
the Cinci masses and headed south to spend
family vacations in Naples, Fla., where his paternal grandmother had a house. “My father didn’t listen to
Jimmy Buffett, but he wanted the lifestyle, it was his
passion. He always told me, ‘don’t do this for a living, or that for a living, just get out and go.’”
When Smith was 18, his father passed away
and, last, but certainly not least, Facebook. His
straight to Key West by himself. It was the first time
Instagram tagline sums up his mission: “Just a Buffett
he had ever been there. Life happenstance eventually
fan living my best life in Key West ... keeping the history
landed him in Fort Myers where he earned a business
of Buffett in Key West alive and well.”
degree from Florida Gulf Coast University. Smith
worked in the fashion industry for 14 years, starting
On the heels of launching the Instagram
account, Smith secured the same handle on Twitter
and he did just that, packed up his car and drove
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“I had gotten stuck doing real work. But
In July of 2020 he appeared on “Blame it on
Buffett,” a Parrothead-themed podcast. Afterward,
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several folks suggested Smith start his own radio
host of the podcast, “Stories We Can Tell.” It highlights
addicting and laid back. Every day you can meet
show. So, with a healthy hesitation, Smith became Buffett’s early Key West years through guests’ stories
of life and love on the famous Florida islands. Guests have included Delaney Buffett (Jimmy’s daughter),
Bob Liberman (former road manager), Roger Bartlett (original
Coral
Reefer
guitarist)
and
Grammy-
nominated G. Love, from G. Love and Special Sauce.
Smith has become quasi-famous in the
Parrothead community with his niche retro-Buffett branding. On what it was exactly that made him a
social media celebrity, he laughs, “I don’t know!” With many more folks at home and online, seeking respite from real life, the feel and philosophy of what Jimmy has to offer is natural go-to content. Smith muses:
“It’s always been like that with Jimmy. He’s the escape you’ve always wanted anyway.”
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And it also helps one’s social media street
cred to live at Buffett ground zero. “Key West is very
someone from somewhere else with a cool story. You can sit next to a millionaire and homeless man, and
they’re having drinks at the same bar. And it’s kind of cool walking through Jimmy history every day.”
Smith’s most recent endeavor has been
launching a non-profit organization called “Back to the Island” that aims to support and contribute to all of Buffett’s charities using the same “throwback” hallmark that has made Smith’s current online presence so successful.
And his favorite Jimmy Buffett song? “’My
Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus,’”
Smith laughs. “Because you really have to be familiar with Key West for it to make sense.”
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Instagram: @classic_buffett Twitter: @classicbuffett Stories We Could Tell Podcast: anchor.fm/storieswecouldtell Facebook Group: Classic Buffett
And familiar with Key West he is. “I will die here,”
Smith proudly proclaims. He periodically visits friends
in Cincinnati to go skiing and typically takes a twicea-year vacation to Las Vegas, but other than that, he prefers not to leave.
To abruptly quit your career, follow your
dreams, take a leap of faith and make it all work is
simply the stuff of, well, Buffett music. Or a father’s cherished advice for his son. When every day is warm,
Non-Profit: www.BacktotheIsland.Org
the humid air smells like sea creatures and salt, your
favorite watering hole is within walking distance, and
your day’s work aims to make a difference, you’re not wastin’ away at all.
Nancy S. Moseley is a freelance writer who rather enjoys the occasional expensive Manhattan in Manhattan. But icy cold beach beers can be just as refreshing. Especially when they are only two dollars.
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Trop Rock Brings Slice of Paradise to the
Midwest Colleen & Mark Fuchs Text by Emma Beaver Photos courtesy of Colleen Fuchs and Todd Alexander
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When the Route 66 Parrothead Club started
you will have memories from the songs if you listen
in Sullivan, Missouri, in 2012, Colleen Fuchs and her
to [trop rock],” she declares. “It always takes you to a
husband, Mark, were among the first to join. Colleen,
beach, a boat, a lake or the pool.” They live in Sullivan,
49, fell in love with Jimmy Buffett’s music in her mid-
Mo., with their two dogs, and trop rock transports
20s, and she was eager to be a part of the local Buffett-
them to sipping drinks with friends on the Florida
inspired humanitarian club. Colleen found not only a
coast.
group of fans but also close friends who care for the community and bring a tropical flair to the Show Me State.
Diving into Parrothead Life
In the past nine years, Colleen and Mark have
been members of four Parrothead clubs. They also
took a hint of island life back to Missouri. In addition to
formed an independent group called the Free Range
Route 66, they joined St. Louis Parrot Head Club and
Parrots that brings together Parrotheads and trop rock
the Clinton County Parrot Head Club in Illinois. Since
music fans and founded a music festival in the Ozarks.
then, they’ve also joined Colleen’s step-sister’s club in
“Being a Parrothead is a state of mind,” Colleen says.
Montana.
“It’s all about the island lifestyle Jimmy Buffett lives and
writes about.”
of the other clubs,” she says. “We get to be friends
with everybody.” The couple traveled across the state for Parrothead club events—called “phlockings”—
The couple traveled to Key West in November
and they both have served on the board at Route 66,
of 2013 for their first Meeting of the Minds, an annual
Colleen as secretary and Mark as president.
gathering of international Parrot Heads In Paradise
(PHIP) clubs. After a seafood dinner on the waterfront,
If someone has a sick relative, we bring food. We pick
and joined a mass of people listening to trop rock
up trash and adopt highways, and we help each other
musician James “Sunny Jim” White perform under
and each other’s families—whoever they are, whatever
palm trees.
they need.”
Although Colleen knew of trop rock— what
she describes as a blend of tropical, rock, country,
The Fuchses’ involvement with multiple clubs
inspired what Colleen calls one of her “bright ideas” in
Americana and other musical styles — that night
2016. She heard about the Flint, Mich., water crisis, and
in Key West was her first immersion in the music. “I
she wanted to help. She rallied PHIP clubs between
had no idea how big it was and how many trop rock
Missouri and Michigan, and she and Mark hit the road
musicians there are,” Colleen explains. She and Mark
in a U-Haul to pick up water at every club along the
bought all of Sunny Jim’s albums at the merch table.
“You become a family in a Parrothead club.
When somebody is moving, we go help for the day.
the couple followed music drifting through the breeze
“When you have so many clubs close together,
anyone who has an event is supported by members
Discovering Trop Rock in Key West
After their first trip to Key West, the Fuchses
way.
Over the next several days, they met hundreds
of fellow Parrotheads and bounced around local bars
When a Parrothead at a stop just outside of
Detroit asked which club they were from, Mark joked
to catch trop rock performances. By the week’s end,
that they were members of three clubs at the time
they collected 30 CDs. The Fuchses return every other
but considered themselves “Free Range Parrots.” The
year, but those CDs carry reminders of Key West. “If
phrase stuck throughout the 1,200-mile round-trip,
you don’t already have memories from these songs,
and they connected with clubs across the Midwest to help those suffering from unsafe water.
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As the phrase made its way through their
The TropRockin’ Ozarks Fest
under the name Free Range Parrots to connect with
While promoting music and events, Colleen
network, Colleen launched a Facebook group Parrotheads and trop rock friends across state lines. It
gained more than 1,000 members. The purpose of the page, an informal group unsanctioned by PHIP, is to support all clubs and trop rock events and musicians.
“Over the last few years, the Parrothead
community has evolved into so much more than just
Parrot Head Clubs,” Colleen says. “It’s become as much
about supporting trop rock music and independent
musicians.” In fact, Salt Water Independent Music (SWIM), a new social club founded by Jerry Diaz (“the
grandfather of trop rock”) and run by Danielle Diaz and Jon Burns, was formed to support the trop rock
genre. Colleen recently accepted a position as director for SWIM.
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realized that Missouri lacked live trop rock festivals. “Especially when you live in the Midwest like we do, [trop rock] is escapism. It’s everything tropical and takes you to another place.”
Two hours away from Sullivan, Margaritaville
Lake Resort in Osage Beach, Mo., had just opened.
Colleen envisioned trop rock fans flooding the new resort and music echoing across the green hills of the Ozarks. Colleen and Mark gathered a committee of local Parrotheads — Brad and Brenda Jones, Todd
and Jane Alexander, Elaine Rossy and Mary Benefiel — to bring trop rock to Missouri. In August of 2019, TropRockin’ Ozarks Fest was born. The 4-day event,
hosted by the Free Range Parrots, includes poolside
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performances by trop rock musicians, a live radio broadcast by Radio Trop Rock and fundraising. In the festival’s inaugural year, hundreds came out for music on the Lake of the Ozarks, and the event raised $8,000 for USO Missouri, a nonprofit that serves service members and military families. TropRockin’ Ozarks Fest was one of few music events that safely happened in the summer of 2020, raising $11,000 for the Trop Rock Music Association Artist Relief Foundation. This year’s proceeds will help the Trop Rock Music Association Artist Relief Foundation, as well as the Lone Palm Foundation, the charitable giving arm of PHIP. The event may transition to every other year after 2021. “I hope our attendees go home with some new friends and feeling like they just left a family reunion,” Colleen says. “My husband Mark has a saying, ‘If you don’t know somebody, go introduce yourself, because new friends become good friends, and good friends become old friends.’” Emma M. Beaver is a writer based in the mountains of Virginia who loves dreaming about all things tropical. mango-mag.com
TropRockin’ Ozarks Fest Aug. 19 – 22, 2021 Christopher Dale Danny Rosado Boomer Blake Aubrey Wollett Rob Mehl Eric Stone Brent Burns Mike Nash Don Middlebrook Thom Shepherd and Coley McCabe Shepherd Drop Dead Dangerous Rick Lamb and The Phin Addicts Jimmy and The Parrots And more!
www.troprockinozarksfest.com facebook/troprockinozarksfest May/June
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Retiring on a Boat
and fixing things in exotic places!
Gail and Bruce Barton
Mike and Gigi McFarlane Text by Joanne M. Anderson
One of the first tidbits of advice Gail Barton
to 300 square feet. “Our architect daughter, Lisa, set us
Bruce, decided to retire on their sailboat named Orient
floor space as living area, which meant we would be
received when a friend learned she and her husband,
Express was not to fret about clothing. “All you’ll need
is a couple of bathing suits,” the friend stated. The
bathing suits never left the luggage in the first couple of weeks, Gail concedes. “We froze almost all the way from Connecticut to Vero Beach, Fla.
“There were days that I had to wear socks on
my hands in order to hold the wheel,” she continues. “Knowing how cold I was, Bruce tried to light our
diesel furnace and nearly burned up the boat. That was when I told him I would rather freeze to death than burn in hell!”
But the couple was still excited to be
downsizing from about 1,700 square feet in a house
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straight,” Bruce relates. “She said we could only count living in less than 10 square feet.”
In October of 2015, Mike and Gigi McFarlane
fulfilled their long-time dream of living on a sailboat
to travel the world. They purchased a 1989 Taswell 43’ sailboat, designed by Bill Dixon and built at the TaShing
boatyard in Taiwan. It is a cutter with a center cockpit, forward cabin with a Pullman bed and a forward
head. Her galley is in the walkthrough between the aft stateroom and the nav station on the starboard side.
Named Last Tango, the McFarlane’s craft is an incredibly strong, sturdy and sea-friendly boat
replacing all five Volvos they had owned across 26 years.
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Photo by Marc Bennett
The sunsets are spectacular.
Watching
hosting friends and family. After a few years, they
dolphins and whales swim by and jump out of the
switched to living on a 40’, twin engine, Heritage
water is amazing. Getting to know and understand
trawler which sleeps six comfortably. The trawler is
the people and the culture of the locals is truly
also named Orient Express and feels like a floating
rewarding. On a daily basis, life looks like a picture
condominium. “However, the 135 horse twin engines
perfect postcard with its white sandy beaches. I have
were a little intimidating. We found out that cruisers
read there are 10,000 active cruisers worldwide.
are always willing to help, and you can usually find
There is a camaraderie that exists between sailors
a cruiser who knows how to fix the problem you are
that brings people together from all over the world
having.”
and crosses all socio-economic barriers that makes
sailing the great equalizer.
of the Bahamas, on the Abaco islands. There, they
new friends and those we have met in previous ports
enjoyed snorkeling, fishing, serving as fire and rescue
result in what I know will be lifelong friendships. It’s
volunteers and collecting more sea glass and crafting
more jewelry [see sidebar].
~ Gigi McFarlane mango-mag.com
The Barton’s second 10 years afloat were spent
primarily moored in Hope Town, one of the districts
The get-togethers and sundowners with
never “bye”; it’s always “Sea Ya later”!
The Bartons found the sailboat cramped for
The McFarlanes were in the Caribbean when
the covid-19 pandemic started making its way around
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the world, tropical islands included. Gigi wrote this
in the first two years can be quite steep. I recommend
George’s, Grenada, so we are naturally distanced
shows, and getting as much experience as you can to
in March of 2020: “We live at anchor outside of St. from our neighbors. We have 500 watts of solar, a
generator and a water maker; so we are self-sufficient in terms of power and water. It’s quite easy to selfquarantine on a boat. We’ve got libraries of music, videos, reading materials and great internet access to boot, so we’re not bouncing off the walls yet. Ask me again in a week.”
Mike added this the following month: “It
is strange to be anchored in a beautiful anchorage
off one of the finest beaches in the Caribbean that remains empty as we continue to shelter aboard Last Tango. We have a gorgeous view and pleasantly warm weather. Life could be worse!”
Living full-time on a boat is not for the faint of
views stream to the horizon. Someone needs to be the captain and learn the ropes, literally and figuratively. What you think you’ll save in real estate taxes, house
repair and maintenance, utilities and the clothing budget can be replaced with boat maintenance and accoutrements.
Corrosion is a real concern, for example, and
if you prefer social contact rather than tossing anchor away from civilization, marina fees can add up. You cannot go anywhere without insurance, gas, food and
supplies. Marine parts and labor can be much higher
than house parts and labor, and boats come with many more moving parts than land homes. Anything that moves, can break.
Gigi McFarlane points out an often quoted
saying that cruising is all about “fixing things in exotic places.” And she then elaborates: “Some liveaboard
cruisers we know started out knowing zilch, figured it out along the way and have been successful.
I
wouldn’t suggest that approach, as the learning curve
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forecasting, engine maintenance and electrical systems helped us. But no matter what you know, the boat is going to stretch your knowledge and understanding for the task at hand.”
It was yet another of their many charter trips
before retirement that motivated Gigi – in Greece at the time that light bulb went off in her head – to
become a captain. She navigated her way to Maine
and learned to charter a yacht up to 60’. For several years, the couple chartered as captain and crew in Greece, Turkey, Croatia, Sardinia and far-flung places.
“As charterers,” Gigi explains, “we would pick up a you need to know and understand all systems in your
heart, even if the sunsets are exceptional and the water
be as prepared as possible. Taking classes in weather
clean, maintained boat and be on our way. As cruisers,
Preparing for the Liveaboard Lifestyle
joining a sailing club, taking classes, attending boat
boat and how they interface with each other.”
Engineers are generally comfortable with
tools and endowed with analytical skills, and Bruce Barton is no exception. “We had been sailing about 20 years before we retired,” Gail Barton says. “However,
most of those years were on smaller boats without the
complicated systems on a larger cruising boat. Bruce - whose nickname is ‘MacGyver’- is handy at figuring
out how to fix things, but sometimes the systems were complicated even for MacGyver. One of the best things
he did was take a 3-day course on sailboat engine repair. Class participants had to take apart an engine
and completely rebuild it. The knowledge he gained was invaluable.”
One mistake the Bartons made was moving
on the boat for a year at a dock in Connecticut. “Our plan was to save money and equip the boat
with everything we would need. Living on a boat in Connecticut is no fun in winter. And living on a boat at a dock is different from cruising. We focused on things
that made us comfortable at the dock, not the best choices for cruising. We skimped on the anchoring
system which was the biggest mistake. We figured out
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quickly that we needed a better system including an electric winch. This was learned the hard way after an emergency where Bruce tore his rotary cuff trying to pull up the anchor in a hurry.” The Bartons encountered fellow cruisers who repaired canvas for them, fixed a generator and came to the rescue when the transmission went out on their power boat. Bruce was able to help others, too. “After the engine,” he explains, “the battery system is one of the next most complicated things to manage. I bought and maintained batteries that lasted more than 10 years; most need to be replaced every five years.” He was able to install the wind generator and solar panels and help other cruisers do the same.
Is Living Aboard for You? There are many things to consider for retiring to a boat, sorting out the romance from the reality and analyzing your relationship, your response under pressure and your technical skills. It can be romantic, very romantic, and it can be challenging, demanding, daunting and discouraging. Only you can decide if the open water, sunsets, dolphins, salty air and beautiful views are worth the experience of fixing things in exotic places and trading in your wheels for keels and shoes for flipflops. The Bartons and MacFarlanes have no regrets and many fantastic memories. 48
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Trawlers initially were the working man’s boat for their deep hulls and ability to drag a trawl net for fish. Today, pleasure trawlers are likely to have full displacement hulls with weight keels. Advantages include a very pleasant appearance and riding deep in the water. They are stable at sea and can offer more living and sleeping space than sailboats. Trawlers can carry and launch a tender, sport walk-around decks, and larger engine rooms offer greater ease for maintenance. Being a power boat provides the benefit of getting where you want to go without being dependent on wind and weather. Trawlers are not known for speed, but more so for low fuel expenses, more storage and definitely more comfort. Gail Barton became enamored with sea glass and collected so much that Bruce thought she might sink the boat. Their daughter gave her a jewelry-making kit one Christmas, and Bruce found himself enthralled as well with jewelry design, using the precision skills he already possessed from decades as an electronics engineer. “When we returned to Connecticut in the summer, I took a jewelry class, then became a silversmith and a goldsmith,” he says. It turned about to be lots of fun, sprinkled with some headaches once they started doing craft fairs. From there, they launched the website sea-glass-designs.com and began distributing to retail shops, leaving behind the craft fair scene.
www.sea-glass-designs.com
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Gigi McFarlane unexpectedly passed away March 6, 2021, during research for this
article. Thus, the story is related in present tense. Her insight is invaluable, and we convey to Mike, her beloved husband of 36 years, our deepest condolences.
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The Chincoteague Pony Swim Text by Emily K. Alberts Photos courtesy of Chincoteague Chamber of Commerce
For hundreds of years, wild ponies have
inhabited Assateague Island -- a 37-mile-long barrier island off the eastern coast of the Delmarva Peninsula facing the Atlantic Ocean. The northern two-thirds of
the island resides in Maryland and the southern third is in Virginia. The two parts are separated by a fence.
Legend
has
it
(and
evidence
strongly
suggests) that these ponies are the descendants of
the survivors of a Spanish galleon that wrecked off the coast of Assateague. We can thank primitive navigation
techniques, such as following stars and lighthouses, for this serendipitous misfortune. 50
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These small but robust ponies have adapted
well to their harsh habitat, foraging on cordgrass and
marsh grasses and drinking fresh water from ponds.
However, because their diet is so limited, they need
to eat nearly all day long to obtain enough nutrients
to survive. Cordgrass is extremely high in salt, which causes the ponies to drink twice as much water as
a normal horse -- thus giving them their signature bloated bellies.
Each spring, about 70 foals are born on the
Virginia side of Assateague Island, and they join the
150 adult ponies already there. The Chincoteague
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Volunteer Fire Company owns and manages the entire
Service manages the herd on the Maryland side.
“Saltwater Cowboys” bring the north herd down the
herd on the Virginia side, while the National Park
the Chincoteague Volunteer Firemen’s Carnival. The
The Fire Company came to own the horses in
beach to meet up with the south herd, pen them all
1925, after a string of disastrous fires in Chincoteague
together, then march them down the beach to the
prompted them to raise funds for better equipment
corral grounds. The next day, the horses swim across
via a carnival held during “pony penning week.” They
the narrowest part of Assateague Channel at low tide
auctioned 15 colts at the carnival, and it was a huge
and are examined by veterinarians soon after. Once
success. From then on, visitors came in droves from
they have rested, they are herded through town to a
all over the country to attend the carnival and see the
corral at the carnival grounds where they stay until the
ponies swim during the annual penning. By 1937, the
next day’s auction.
crowd had amassed nearly 25,000 spectators. The Fire
Company then moved the herd to Assateague, where
serves to trim the herd’s numbers. To retain the permit
herds to graze on the newly established Chincoteague
to graze on the refuge, the herd must not exceed 150
National Wildlife Refuge.
According to The Fire Company, the pony
auction not only provides a source of revenue but also
the government allowed publicly-owned, not private,
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Pony penning is still held every July during
horses.
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The Chincoteague Pony became an officially
sell painted shells, painted pony lawn ornaments
swimming – and many even jump the gun, swimming
enough about the business of selling lemonade to
registered breed in 1994. The ponies are adept at across on their own prior to the penning, much to the amusement of nearby campers. The channel they
swim across is only about 200 yards, so the entire swim takes about five to 10 minutes. Sometimes, one
or two of the babies may struggle, and the cowboys
are there to scoop them up and boat them over. The first colt ashore on Thursday is dubbed King or Queen Neptune and is raffled off at the carnival that evening.
John Reynolds of Blacksburg, Va., has been
visiting Chincoteague for the annual pony swim
since 1989. “My grandparents bought a house on
Main Street near the carnival grounds, and we always enjoyed the hustle and bustle of pony penning week.
My grandmother, aunts and uncles would make and 52
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and other things.” As a kid, Reynolds says he learned
worry about cost of supplies and profit margin per cup!
“Chincoteague really is a great island, and
each side has its own flavor,” Reynolds continues. “The channel side is more relaxed and has the old downtown shops and fishing boats, along with beautiful sunsets.
The lighthouse side of the island has beautiful views of the lighthouse and is much closer to Memorial Park, the beach and Maddox Blvd.”
Reynolds says: “Memorial Park is the best land
place to watch the swim, but by far my favorite pastime is taking a boat out on the channel to watch from the water.” With the Atlantic Ocean so close by, fresh seafood abounds in the local fare. “For great seafood,
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A pony is an equine under 14.2 HH. HH or H
stands for “hands high” or “hands.” Horses are measured in hands because they didn’t have
standard measuring tools in ancient societies, so
they commonly used hands to measure horses. A hand [sideways] is approximately four inches.
we go to Ray’s Shanty, just off the island. When we’re
of $5,705. The highest bid was $28,250 and the lowest
on the island, we love to dine at Etta’s.”
Evelyn Shotwell, executive director of the
Chincoteague Chamber of Commerce, states that
both the carnival and in-person auction have been cancelled for 2021 due to covid-19, so they will again
hold the pony auction online. Despite the cancellation, Reynolds plans to visit family on the island this summer and is eager for the festivities to return. Though his
cousins bought a pony or two growing up, Reynolds
has never lived on a property where that was an option, so he won’t be joining the online auction.
At last year’s online [due to covid-19] auction,
there were 68 ponies sold, with an average sale price
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was $1,800. The auction grossed $388,000.
Wondering what people do with their new
pets? Shotwell says that since the ponies are highly trainable, many are used for 4-H programs. The Amish
and Mennonite communities have a strong presence
at the auction, often using the ponies for cart-pulling and farm chores.
On the Friday after the auction, the adult
ponies make the return swim to Assateague Island where they will live in the wild for another year.
Freelance writer Emily K. Alberts fell in love with Chincoteague as a little girl, without ever seeing a pony.
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Escape
For Good
to Margaritaville Cottages Text by Joanne M. Anderson
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The word “cottage” – without cheese after it – conjures up images of adorable small homes, not tiny homes per se, but little, cozy domiciles. It comes through language from Middle English when it referred to “holding of a free peasant, the peasant’s dwelling on such a holding.” Likely that derived from “cot” or “cote”, which was Anglo-French for “dwelling of a rural laborer, hut.” Merriam-Webster lists four definitions, all of which denote small in size, including “a usually small house for vacation use.” Well, anyone familiar with the “summer cottages” at Newport, R.I., knows well that not all cottages are small. According to gypsynester.com: Newport is chock full of gaudy mansions erected by the more-money-than-class club. In an embarrassing effort to one-up each other with their “summer cottages” these iconic American families of railroad, mining and steel fortunes, threw ridiculously lavish parties for their pets, sat atop carriages every afternoon to show off their new outfits, had notorious affairs, harassed their overworked staffs and backstabbed one another to get into the society pages. Oh, to be rich and bored out of one’s mind. Now the gingerbread cottages on Martha’s Vineyard make more sense for their charm and size. Built between 1859 and 1864 in the enchanting Carpenter Gothic style, they are so described for being attributed to local carpenters who conceived the designs. Most of them are quite small. Slipping in between these two versions of cottages are the Margaritaville Cottages. Adjacent to Margaritaville Resort Orlando, this sweet, colorful neighborhood of enchanting cottages exudes all the charm and magic of cottage lifestyles with 21st century amenities and the paradise setting of this extravagant destination. There’s nothing cookie cutter among the homes. The colors, shutters, style, balconies, railings, siding, awnings and trim vary on each one. Even the roofs employ different materials, styles and colors. They range from 2-BR to 8-BR models along the curved streets with meticulous landscaping. “The cottages are impressive,” states Phillip Vaught, publisher of The Mango. He and his family recently traveled to Florida for a first-hand experience. “We stayed in a 4-bedroom cottage with 4 full bathrooms, large ones. High ceilings, coastal colors, casual furnishings and a cozy back patio for morning coffee enhanced the oasis vacation feel. The alleyway mango-mag.com
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in the back has broken shells in lieu of gravel or asphalt for more of the beach ambience which is present all over the resort grounds.” While there, Phillip made an acquaintance from Michigan. “Mike, his wife and two small dogs purchased a cottage and moved permanently several months ago. I saw him walking the dogs every morning, likely heading to or coming from Barkaritaville, the dog park on the grounds. He says friends from the Great Lake State come every other week to visit, indulge in the resort lifestyle and presumably spend time with Mike and the Mrs.” The comforts of home exist in each cottage, but there’s no extravagant resort next door to most people’s primary residence, and here’s the main 56
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attraction. Cottage ownership comes with resort access, such that you have choices every day for time at the technologically-advanced water park, luxury swimming pool, state-of-the-art fitness center, walking trails, on-site dining, volleyball courts and relaxing. There’s a Parakeets Kids Club, too. “Renting a beach bike may be the best way to get from where you are to where you want to be,” Phillip explains. “Just download an app (of course), create an account (of course), and add a payment method (of course). Within a few minutes, you walk to a bicycle, scan a code on the front of it, and the wheels unlock. Ride where you want to for as long as you wish, and when you are done, wherever that happens to be on the resort grounds, scan the code again. This locks the
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Frankie bike, confirms the rental has ended, and notifies you how much – mine was $3. Likely there’s a GPS signal that tells the bike headquarters where the bicycle is now resting.” The poolside Salty Rim Bar & Grill was a fave spot for the Vaught family, and part of the merriment there was wrapped up in bartender Frankie’s skill and personality. “He’s super nice and outgoing,” Phillip relates, “and he’s very good at what he does.” One of the many things he does is make a dynamite margarita. He can whip up a gummy bear watermelon margarita unless you prefer mango oasis, jalapeño pineapple or something else. From blending the right things in the right way to wetting and salting the rim, pouring and serving with a flourish, Frankie is your go-to drink master at the pool. Though the lavish largest pool is flanked with concrete, the lounge chairs all rest in white sand which successfully mimics the real beach scene. The hotel features 186 guest rooms and suites and lives up to the superior reputation with tropical décor, deluxe amenities and exceptional services and staff for which Margaritaville Resorts are known. mango-mag.com
For those who cannot yet move full-time to a Margaritaville cottage, there are preferred vacation rental management companies which provide all the services an owner needs to rent the cottage when they do not plan to be there. A rental revenue stream is a welcome benefit, and the Margaritaville brand enjoys strong loyalty among families and guests. The cottages range in size from 976 to 4,689 square feet and run from the high $300,000s to a bit under a million [dollars]. Should you decide to book a Margaritaville Cottages visit, be sure to secure in writing all the amenities included for your rate and length of stay. There may be some cottage rentals on Airbnb and other places which do not permit access to the Margaritaville Resort Orlando. For those who plan to spend most of the days at Walt Disney World and other attractions, this may work out fine. Just a headsup to be sure you know ahead of time what is included or not. The Jimmy Buffett laid-back, tropical lifestyle vibes, which permeate the Margaritaville Cottages collection, is free, that we know.
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Beach Drinks Strawberries and Rhubarb Half-Minute Frozen Strawberry Margarita 6 oz. tequila 2 oz. triple sec 8 oz. frozen sliced strawberries in syrup 4 oz. frozen limeade concentrate Fill blender with ice and process to crush. Add these four ingredients and blend for half a minute. Serve in margarita glasses dipped in powdered sugar. How very sweet.
Foamy Fresh Strawberry Margarita 1 pound fresh strawberries 1 cup silver tequila 2/3 cup fresh lime juice 1/3-1/2 cup honey, agave or other sweetener ¼ cup Cointreau or triple sec
Stuff it all into a blender and process until completely smooth. Pour over ice or not. Garnish with a plump fresh strawberry and lime slice. [You can let it sit a couple minutes and skim off the foam].
Real Rhubarb Margarita 4 cups diced rhubarb ½ cup water ½ cup sugar 2/3 cup tequila 4 cups ice
Place chopped rhubarb and water in a saucepan and simmer about 15 minutes. Strain juice and press as much juice from the pulp. Stir sugar into hot juice and refrigerate 2 hours minimum. Blend with tequila and serve in chilled margarita glasses.
& a Snack Cheesecake-stuffed Strawberries 8 oz. cream cheese ½ cup powdered sugar ½ tsp. vanilla 1 pint fresh strawberries, hulled and cored 3 graham crackers, crushed Beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Place in a plastic bag with corner snipped for piping. Fill each strawberry and dip the filled side in crushed crackers.
Strawberry Skewers Strawberries, churro pieces, marshmallows, drizzled with chocolate sauce
Coastal Maine
Text by senior writer Krisha Chachra
Relaxation Text by senior writer Krisha Chachra
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Who says all the fantastic beaches are south of the Tropic of Cancer?
If
you’re
thinking
charming
towns, long stretches of sand and
endless ocean waves but want to skip the recently vaccinated visitors crowding the
Caribbean, maybe opt for a beach in New England. In fact, there’s a perfect spot all the way up in Maine called Old Orchard Beach.
The seven miles of sandy beach
at Old Orchard has attracted sun seekers
since the 1800s from New England
families to New York City celebrities. In
fact, Ol’ Blue Eyes himself crooned on the
original pier that once jutted out more
than 1,800 feet into Saco Bay. The newlyrestored pier isn’t as long but still boasts
delightful dining options, watering holes
and shops right above the waves in line with the horizon.
Back on shore, families can enjoy
Palace Playland, a 5-acre amusement
park featuring one of the largest arcades
in the region and 28 attractions including
roller coasters, water slides, carnival games and rides. Currently, the park is
adhering to covid-19 safety protocols
by requiring masks, maintaining social distancing in lines, limiting capacity and
running a fraction of their rides. That could change by summer.
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sustainable design. It is heated by bio-fuel and solar panels. Even the decadent spa – where the signature massage uses an undulating waves motion bed and marine-based products like sea scrubs, mud and algae – has recycled rubber flooring in the workout room. To get to the ocean, take a wooden, planked walkway that leads over a marsh and straight to Crescent State Beach where umbrellas and folding chairs await guests. The marsh is actually a restoration habitat for the New England cottontail rabbit which is listed as endangered in both Maine and New Hampshire. Other quintessential Maine activities are a stone’s throw from the Inn. Make sure to book a lobster and lighthouse tour with Lucky Catch and Captain Tom Martin. Pull up the overalls and waders they give you and learn to trap lobster out at sea. We also booked an unforgettable sunset sail (BYOB) on a schooner from Portland Schooner Company and watched fireworks from the water along the Eastern Promenade. The next day, we drove further north about 20 minutes to the LL Bean outlet, a small village of its own in its headquarters in Freeport, Maine. You can also stroll the boardwalk, ducking into local shops and restaurants for a drink or check out Ocean Park, a summer retreat camp for spiritual growth and renewal. Visitors have been coming here since the days of the early explorers to reflect and meditate at “The Temple,” the only octagonal church in Maine built in 1881. In terms of accommodations, you may be looking for something with New England charm and character. I suggest driving north toward Portland to Cape Elizabeth where you’ll find a beautiful boutique resort called Inn by the Sea. All 61 newly-redesigned suites are outfitted with modern amenities but have the look of old-world, coastal architecture. If you pick a garden suite on the first floor, you can walk out directly from your porch to the pool. Upper-level suites have lofts that overlook the ocean. Sea Glass Restaurant onsite serves the freshest catch of the day, and later, kids and kids-at-heart can roast marshmallows around the firepit for dessert. The Inn prides itself in pairing luxury and natural beauty with eco-friendly initiatives and
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To punctuate the true Maine experience, go lighthouse hopping while cruising the coast on Highway 1 all the way to Camden. Just remember - if the coastal folks of Maine know one thing, it is how to relax. So, it is perfectly authentic if you decide to simply sit and watch the ocean, close your eyes and breathe in the air. Krisha Chachra is a freelance writer, communications instructor and coach who has traveled to over 50 countries and 6 continents. She resides in Charlotte, N.C., and escapes to the beach, coastal villages and islands whenever she can. www.krishachachra.com
Photos by Krisha Chachra mango-mag.com
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DEEP TRACKS
Nobody Speaks to the Captain No More Text by Johnny Cate
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Let’s get heavy.
In this edition of DEEP TRACKS, our Buffettsleuthing takes us back to the beautiful 1980s. Floridays is the name of Jimmy’s 1986 album, and the eightiesness shows. The record lifts off with “I Love The Now”, boasting a guitar line immediately reminiscent of The Police’s 1983 mega-hit “Every Breath You Take” before sliding into the second track, “Creola”, a cabana lounge tune that does justice to whatever magic reigned in the Reagan years. But we’re here spinning Floridays in search of something more mysterious. As the album settles in, we find ourselves smack-dab in a strange little ballad that goes by the name of “Nobody Speaks to the Captain No More.” On first listen, the song comes across as slightly forgettable. The delicate, falling melody doesn’t exactly bring out the best in Buffett’s voice. And with smooth tunes like “Creola” capturing 80’s hip, the piccolo suddenly seems out of place. “Nobody Speaks to the Captain No More” is a Buffett cut that is unlikely to ever see the light of stage again, and that would suggest that it is, in some way, a dud. Far be it from us to make such a judgement. This unassuming tune is a gateway to many provocative musings and comprises one of the most mysterious and intriguing tales ever told by Bubba. He was a fugitive with a pseudo name Lost his mind in a hurricane Coconut upside his head... In the first verse, we meet a “fugitive with a pseudo name” who, apparently, “lost his mind in a hurricane” when a coconut fell on his head. This is the inciting event of the story, and it’s important to make an initial connection here with another story that’s far more famous: The story of Sir Isaac Newton and the apple. In both, a man is struck by a falling fruit. But the results are completely opposite. In Newton’s tale, taking the fruit upside the head leads him to enlightenment and scientific discovery—chief aspects of human intellect that elevate us above an animal state. In the Captain’s tale, however, the falling fruit
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induces insanity and, we will learn, a return to a primal state among animals. Seeing the Captain unraveled, playing his saxophone on the shore, many remark that he’d “be better dead / ‘cause his glory days are gone.” But what were his glory days? The strange story gains another layer— In another place, in another time He was a soldier in his prime On the battlefield, makin’ history Young men died for his destiny… There’s a dark twist in these lines: “On the battlefield, makin’ history / Young men died for HIS destiny.” We’re given the image of a commander on a kind of personal military crusade: a man content to throw young men’s lives away in pursuit of his own destiny as a conqueror. But the reckless bloodshed catches up with him, as he begins to be frequented daily by the widows of the men he led to die. Haunted almost, he flees. Then follows a stanza I can’t make much sense of. Maybe you, dear reader, can direct my mind: He bought a town, but he sold the sea Claimed a shallow victory On an iron ship, with a wooden crew They hit the reef when the moon was new Now he cries himself to sleep On a beach made of promises he meant to keep Long ago
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I find this bit a little too cryptic. An iron ship with a wooden crew… the meaning eludes me. Taken as a whole, however, the verse does poetically communicate isolation, shipwreck and failure. The Captain, we’re coming to see, is no war hero—no hero at all. In fact, he’s almost the opposite. Two notable qualities we associate with heroism, self-sacrifice and the keeping of promises, have been egregiously violated by the Captain. So many are his unkept promises that they rival the grains of sand on a beach. The picture of guilt is almost overwhelming. But in comes the chorus with a classic touch of Buffett balm: Nobody speaks to the Captain no more Nobody talks about the war Hey what the hell were we fighting for Such a long, long time ago? In these lines is a kind of temporal forgiveness. Ultimately, time washes over everything—smoothing it as the ocean smooths a piece of broken glass, obscuring so totally its original purpose that no one, living or dead, could ever tell you what it used to be. Buffett essentially presents us with someone we could suppose a war criminal, then tells us not to worry about it. It’s suggested that even war and its horrors are tumbled in time to the point of irrelevance. Upon reflection, no one can even clearly say why they were fighting in the first place. It was all so long ago… In the second half of the song, we see the Captain’s unravelling and return to a primal state. He no longer commands men in battle, but simply plays a saxophone to the “uncaptive audience” of monkeys and iguanas. We revisit the night of his anti-epiphany, the beginning of his madness, as he deserts his military post “dressed to kill” while the jungle beasts “wail.” It’s dramatic enough to make us feel comfortably superior to the story’s subject, but Buffett doesn’t let us off that easily. He assures us that the Captain “looked like me and you, long ago…” Lodged in the heart of it all is a deep irony that gives the story its mysterious power. The character is the “Captain”, a title we associate with control. We like to think of ourselves as the captains of our own destinies. We like to believe we have power over our
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fates, that life indeed has a helm, and we stand at that helm, directing the ship to port. But in this story, the Captain has no control over his destiny. Forces beyond his control, symbolized by the hurricane, inspire a simple, ridiculous event that alters his course forever: a coconut falls from a tree and hits his head. We are given reason to believe it may have been for the better. The songwriter suggests that the Captain’s war days may, at some point, have been worthy of judgement or vengeance, had he not fled and faded into a specter on the shore. But that’s all over now—nobody speaks to the captain no more, because “no one is interested in settling old scores.” Time tumbles all, and the ocean (time’s material equal) is where one goes when they wish to be tumbled. Buffett, being a beach king, is just singing another song about the wonder of the coast, about how the sea is confirmation of massive forces to which we bear witness but cannot fully penetrate or understand. These forces in the song, however, do not give way to confusion or anxiety. Rather, they give way to peace. The tune foretells a day when all of us, even those of us who may have been enemies long ago, might collectively say—What the hell were we fighting for? Next time I hear a saxophone, I’ll look forward to that day. Johnny Cate is a poet and advertising consultant based in Asheville, N.C. He daylights as a writer in association with Chameleon Collective, and moonlights as an authority on Jimmy Buffett’s lyrical catalog. DEEP TRACKS takes a forensic look at a Jimmy Buffett song, usually one considered a “deep track” or non-hit. It’s for Parrotheads, not posers. Johnny Cate rolls back through Buffett’s huge catalog, chooses a song and offers a creative analysis. One goal is to introduce new thoughts on Buffett deep tracks and bring joy to Parrotheads all over the world. But this is not really to provide answers as much as ask questions. This column is meant to be suggestive as much as it is conclusive. It has a stoner vibe, though Johnny is not stoned. And conveniently, “deep” is a great word for a column in a mag about oceans and deep waters.
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No Booze? . . . No Problem!
Tropical Sunshine Drink Sprite Pineapple Juice Grenadine Syrup Ice for glasses
1. Fill glasses with ice. 2. Take glass and fill 1/2 full with Sprite. 3. Top the remaining half off with Pineapple Juice. 4. Add a splash of Grenadine Syrup and mix together. 5. Serve to friends and family with a straw.
Blackberry Mint Spritzer 1 cup of blackberries 1 cup of water 1 cup of sugar 1 cup of mint leaves Sprite Zero
Submitted by:
Jennifer Sikora
www.jenaroundtheworld.com
1. Make by mixing together 1 cup of water, 1 cup of sugar and 1 cup of mint leaves. Place on stove on high heat and boil 1-2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool. 2. In a food processor, add simple syrup and 1 cup of blackberries. Pulse until combined. Run through a mesh strainer to remove any seeds. 3. Pour into a glass and top with Sprite Zero. Garnish with more blackberries and a mint sprig. 4. Enjoy!
Brazilian Limeade
4 limes 6 cups of water 1 cup of sugar 1/2 can of Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk Salt and lime zest for rim of glass 1. Wash limes thoroughly. Cut off the ends and slice into eight wedges. Place limes in a blender with the sugar and water. Puree until blended. 2. Remove and pour through a strainer. Throw away pulp. Add condensed milk. Mix well. 3. Serve over ice in salt-rimmed glasses. Enjoy!