The Meliorist, Volume 46 Issue 22

the Your Independent Student Newspaper

In the past 26 years...

...except the Meliorist fee.

BUT NOW WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT! For the week of Thursday, February 28th, 2013 • Volume 46, Issue 22

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February 28, 2013 • 02

Campus Beat News Features Entertainment Top Story Procrastination Opinion Sports Lifestyle TLFs Students’ Union Classifieds The Meliorist: Mel-io-rism (meel’e riz’m) the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort

4-5 6-7 8 - 11 13 - 15 16 - 17 18 19 20 - 22 23 24 - 25 26 - 27 30 An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students’ Union SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB, T1K 3M4 Phone: 403-329-2334 www.themeliorist.ca

Business Manager

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief Opinions Editor einc@themeliorist.ca

b.manager@themeliorist.ca Creative Director/ Ad Manager/ Production Manager

Brandon Wallis

ad.manager@themeliorist.ca Photo/ Podcast Editor

Jon Martin

p.editor@themeliorist.ca

Ryan Macfarlane

Features Editor f.editor@themeliorist.ca

Art Department Assistant/ Social Media Coordinator

Sam Loewen Copy Editor

James Forbes Staff Writer/ Distribution Manager

Matt Baird

Travis Robinson

Sports & Lifestyle Editor s.editor@themeliorist.ca

Design Assistants

Myles Havinga Nico Koppe

Account Representative

Kristy Jahn-Smith

account.rep@themeliorist.ca Webmaster

Leyland Bradley The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Friday at 4 p.m. The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, the Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters that are signed by the author. Special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms. Letters should contain the author’s legible name, address, telephone number, and student identification number. The address, ID and phone number will not be published. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity, and legality.

Nelson Chin

Campus Beat & News Editor n.editor@themeliorist.ca

Chris Morris Printing

Southern Alberta Newspaper Group Cartoonist

Ryan Kenworthy Contributors

Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor e.editor@themeliorist.ca

Andrew McCutcheon RJ Balog Podcast Assistant

Andrew Martin Cover

Brandon Wallis

PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR CAMPUS NEWSPAPER! Why you

should

vote

yes: 51%

of students polled last year read only the Meliorist for their news.

86.8% 14¢

The Meliorist has been an integral part of the university’s culture for 46 years providing engagement and a source of entertainment for students.

As the newspaper is created and published by students it relies on student-generated content; any student may contribute to the paper.

The past two years have been a time of expansion for the paper with a comprehensive new design, production of podcasts, and two online

of the student population reads the Meliorist weekly.

more per issue. That’s the cost to you.

It’s your voice!

editions including a full-colour PDF version; it has also been a time of stream-lining with more effective business practices, less waste, and more accountability to the student population.

By voting yes you will ensure that generations of future Pronghorns will have the chance to experience part of our university’s rich culture, and they will have the opportunity to see their works in print.

By voting yes you will allow the Meliorist to continue to improve and have the opportunity to shape its future.

By voting yes you will save the Meliorist.

SU CANDIDATES 2013

President

Shuna Talbot

Vice President Academic

Katie Kalmar

My name is Shuna Talbot. I am a fourth year BFA student in theatre studies. I am the current VP Internal and received the Volunteer of the Year Award from the ULSU last year. My platform for President revolves around the three pillars of the ULSU: Advocacy, Representation, and Service. I will ensure I am representing the students at all levels and ensure we are offering quality services. If you want details, please contact me at talbot@uleth.ca.

Hi, my name is Katie Kalmar and I am a fourth year history major. I am currently an Arts and Science Representative on the Students' Union. I want to increase the number of academic workshops by partnering with university departments to ensure greater turnout and success. I will strive to create a greater emphasis around the quality of education at our institution and develop more effective means of evaluating quality around these areas.

Vice President Student Affairs

Adam Long

Vice President OpFi

Michael Kawchuk

Greetings students, I’m a fourth year business marketing student and I have been involved with clubs, Fresh Fest, and community volunteering for over four years. I’ve organized such events as surf trips, ski trips, concerts, movie nights, and electronic shows. I would like to propose a club fair, rail jam/battle of the bands, and Zoo club nights as just a few new events for next year.

Look forward to representing everyone during the upcoming semesters and best of luck to all the candidates.

I was born and raised in Lethbridge and have had the opportunity to travel to Europe and Australia, and I hope to continue to see new places. I also enjoy running, trying new things, and comedies. I am excited to run for the position of VP Operations and Finance with the new structure of the Executive. Specifically, I look forward to the duties of managing the finances of the ULSU and performing internal reviews.

My name is Sean Glydon and I am running for VP External.

I am president of the Environmental Science Club as well as an Arts and Science Rep. for the ULSU. I pledge to…

- Complete the ULSU’s political policies - Fight for the continuation of the tuition cap - Represent the will of all U of L students in my lobbying efforts - Increase community outreach - Continue to improve the Mobile App and website

Hello U of L! My name is Jiyun. I'm a fourth year international management student, minor in social responsibility and Spanish. I was born and raised in Seoul, South Korea (yes, yes, that Gangnam style). Studying in Canada has been by far the best experience I've ever had. I'm excited to give back to the university by enthusiastically representing student interests as a member of the student government lobbying groups. Check out my video linked to my posters.

In the spare moments between cuddling my kittens and delivering hippie rants on the benefits of cleansing with honey, I throw myself into community organizing and activism. A huge advocate for student governance, I find myself frequently disappointed in the lack of voice I hear coming from our SU. My frustration drives me to work for change the only way I know how: leading by example.

Let's grab some tea and chat further. #seriouslythough

Vice President External

Sean Glydon

Jiyun Kim

Emma Ladouceur

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February 28, 2013 • 05

Board of Governors Rep.

Rebecca Joseph

Allana Shockley

Chris Hollingsworth

Fine Arts Rep.

Benjamin W. Goodwin

I’m Rebecca Joseph, and I was raised on a farm near Chipman, AB. I am in my third year of my Post Diploma Bachelor of Science in agriculture, transferring from Lakeland College.

I am confident I have the abilities to represent you on the BOG. I have previous experience working with board members at Lakeland with my position as Students’ Association President. We spend enough money to be here; my hope is to ensure our board is not wasting our money by providing a student’s perspective on major issues.

I am a third year Archaeology major.

I started at the U of L, transferred to Trent, but returned to the U of L because I think it’s a wonderful place.

Under the leadership of the Board of Governors, the university has become one of Canada’s leading undergraduate institutions. Student input has been key to the university’s success.

As the BoG Representative, I will bring student concerns and ideas to the board at every opportunity.

I am a fifth year student studying political science and philosophy. I served two years as Arts and Science Rep. and as commissioner to the ULSU President. My campus roles have included the following: coordinator of Fresh Fest, president of Kappa Sigma and the Liberal Club, and vice president of the Liberal Riding Association. I believe my experience will allow me to advocate effectively to university administration on behalf of students, particularly with regards to potential fee increases.

My name is Benjamin W. Goodwin from Ponoka, Alberta, a fourth year student in fine arts. After starting university at U of C, I learned how great education can be when I transferred to the U of L, which I now love! Go Pronghorns!

I hope to bring the fine arts department and Students’ Union closer than ever. This would include more advertising for fine arts clubs and more collaboration with fine arts clubs to do events together.

MORE CANDIDATES NEXT WEEK!

I am running for the position of Management Representative for the Students’ Union. I am a first year marketing major in the faculty of management. This year I had the opportunity to compete in JDC West and join Kappa Sigma. As Management Rep. I will focus on the culture that management students experience as well as student engagement.

My initiative is to create a peer-based case competition and build community.

My name is Shelby Flath and I am a fourth year marketing student hoping to pursue a career in advertising/promotion or public relations. This is my third year living on campus. I want to increase participation and awareness of ULSU activities, create a better connection between the management faculty and the Students’ Union, as well as continue to raise awareness among first years and new students regarding services and events held by the ULSU.

My name is Ashley Huntley; my father is Jordan Head who ran for chief in the last blood tribe elections. I am studying a Bachelor of Arts majoring in psychology.

I will be a strong representative for the FNMI students. I will meet with the students consistently so that I know the students' wants and interests, to be able to have a clear communication line for the students.

My name is Preston Crow Chief. I was born and raised in Standoff, Alberta. Currently I am a third year management student. I also work with youth on my home reservation.

I think I have what it takes to be your First Nations, Metis and Inuit (FNMI) Representative. I am responsible and accountable for my actions. I want to help the First Nations, Metis and Inuit people become more involved with our campus activities.

Management Rep.

Cody Cusack

Shelby Flath

FNMI Rep.

Ashley Huntley

Preston Crow Chief

Shahbag protest

strikes a nerve

Leyland Bradley News Editor

with U of L students

A group of Bangladeshi students are standing in solidarity with the Shahbag Protest of 2013, demonstrating their support of the maximum punishment for war criminals under Bangladeshi law – capital punishment – due to their involvement in the 1971 Liberation War of Bangladesh. In collaboration with the Pakistani army, war criminals contributed to civilian deaths estimated at anywhere from 300,000 to 3 million as well as the rape of thousands of women (including minors).

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A representative of the student group – who does not wish to be named out of fear for their personal safety and the safety of their families back home in Bangladesh – has given the Meliorist their perspective on the 1971 atrocity, the current situation now in Bangladesh, and the future of the Shahbag Protest.

The Shahbag Protest began on Feb. 5, 2013, in Dhaka, Bangladesh when the International Crimes Tribunal announced the ruling for those responsible in the Liberation War of Bangladesh. The news proved to be unsatisfactory with a large number of citizens. Online activists used Twitter, Facebook, and numerous blogs to join in a spontaneous demonstration. The name Shahbag comes from the Shahbag intersection near central Dhaka, Bangladesh where the demonstration took place.

Some war criminals received the death penalty, while others did not, most notably Abdul Quader Mollah: a man responsible for the murder of 344 civilians, and various counts of rape.

Mollah was convicted on five of six counts for war crimes, earning him a lifetime in prison.

Bangladeshi Shahbag supporters are demanding that the government retract the life imprisonment ruling for Mollah in exchange for capital punishment, and to take action very soon – the current party’s term will end in January. “[Abdul Quader Mollah] is one of the leaders of political party – all of the papers are saying they are the biggest Islamic party in Bangladesh, but I’ll say, okay, maybe they’re the biggest, but it is not so big – around 5 per cent of people are supporting them nowadays. So, in Bangladesh we have around 160-170 million people. Very small country … 20 times [smaller than] the size of Alberta [geographically]. Population is like more than four times the size of Canada’s.”

“The problem started in 1947 when the British leave India. Before leaving they divide the Indian subcontinent.

They divided it by religion – one country India, one country Pakistan. So this is the main root of the problem.

Bangladesh was a part of Pakistan.

Pakistan has two sides: West Pakistan, which is original Pakistan, and the other is called East Pakistan, which is now Bangladesh. The main problem was that [the] country was geographically separated. They are not geographically connected. The other

problem is cultural, because the culture of this side and this side is totally different. The culture between Mexico and Canada is different; this is the same thing. Language is a problem too; we speak Bangla and they do not.

“Later, we find out that lots of revenue from Bangladesh exporting different things [was used for the army]. This army was not spending for the improvement of Bangladeshi people, Bangladeshi society, or transportation system, among other things. This money was spent for the improvement of Pakistan only.

“There is another problem: in 1952, we called it Language Movement.

Feb. 21 is International Language Day. Previously, the people of Bangladesh only celebrated it, but now all over the world, people celebrate it. So, what happened in 1952, some people came from Pakistan to Bangladesh and said that Urdu will be the only language in Bangladesh. Bangla will not even be the second language. People protest, and the police open fire. A curfew was put in place for the Bangladesh people; they could not go outside but they did. Five people died after the police open fire. After this, the Bangladesh people said Pakistan does not rule us; they are sucking us dry, they are taking everything from us and spending money for the benefit of Pakistan.”

Q: Were there taxes? Were the Bangladeshi people paying taxes?

“Not so much. It was a lot of revenue. Bangladesh has some gas.

Not as much as Alberta, but they export lots of handicraft things, rice, lots of jute. This made a lot of money but it was given to Pakistan.”

The student went on to explain that most of the people at the top, all the high-level government officials and politicians, were from West Pakistan.

With little representation of their own people, the Bangladeshi people were subject to being taken advantage of by the Pakistani army.

“If there is no one from your community to help your position, no one is going to help you. You cannot expect help; they were not in a decision-making position.

“In 1970 there was an election. The population in Bangladesh is more than West Pakistan. The party from East Pakistan owned the majority seat.

At that time, there was a military ruling all over Pakistan. That party will go on

to form the government. But the military did not hand over the power.

How can they win? It was based on population. There were a lot of negotiations about how to hand over the power. The Pakistani army … started Operation Searchlight.”

Operation Searchlight was an attempt to kill literate people in Bangladesh. The army approached universities and murdered professors.

“For the most part, the Pakistani army did not speak the same language as the Bangladeshi people.

They spoke Urdu and other languages, mostly from West Pakistan. There were some Bangladeshi officers in the Pakistani army. So what they did is they intentionally transferred them to West Pakistan. They also intentionally transferred all West Pakistani officers to Bangladesh. The Liberation War began. Lots of people moved from cities to towns and villages; they go on the other side of the border to India.

They try to leave.”

In time, a number of Bangladeshi citizens cooperated with the West Pakistani officers to assist them in navigating through the streets of Dhaka.

“These people are traitors; they helped the Pakistani army to find people, only to kill Bangladeshi people. They supplied information to the army, and the army would go to these people’s houses. Sometimes they killed them, other times they arrest them and do lots of tortures.

And then eventually they kill them. If they come to the house of a freedom fighter, and there are no men, they would take the women to rape camps and rape them. Sometimes it was one girl and 10 men. Around 200,000 women were raped. They were at the army bases, in a single room with lots of women. If these people helped our ancestors to kill, how can we [the Bangladeshi people] stay together?

We don’t like these people. They killed the founder of the nation in 1975.”

Q: And he was democratically elected?

“Yeah, and after that the other parties help to get [war criminals] established in the society. So now after 42 years, the problem is that, if you start the trial, most of the people have already died. The maximum age of Bangladeshi people is around 60 or 65. After 42 years, the eyewitnesses are dead. But the nation became

independent in 1971. The founder tried to rebuild the country. He tried to do some trial for the criminals. The trial now has been established since 1973.

“Everything judicial takes a long time. After 1975, everything stopped.

After that time, until 1990, directly or indirectly there was military rule, for about 15 or 16 years. In 1991, it started the beginning of the democratic politics in Bangladesh. The war criminals were, by this time, already established in society. They have always had money and good networking. They always try to stop the opportunity to be punished for their crimes.

The present government in Bangladesh [said as part of their platform] that they would start to establish the trial for the war criminals. So the people like us, the people aged 22-35 who are the majority voters in Bangladesh, they elect this specific party.

Other parties didn’t say anything [about taking war criminals to trial].

We believed them. Political party goes slow, but they are going to end their term in January. They started in 2009 with five-year terms. We want them to finish the trial before they leave, because a different party will not carry it on. So that’s why we are pressuring the government. Especially for Mollah, the government says only five of his crimes can be proved, not all six. And we still have capital punishment. If we give him life imprisonment only, a new party will say that this trial was politically motivated and he will be released. There is some evidence of this occurring already – some people are in prison for 15 years, they come out of jail, they become established in society, and they have economic power, the social power.”

Q: Who is supporting the war criminals?

“They are mostly illiterate. They do not have access to all the information.

Whatever their leaders say, they believe. They are not going to search – they are not going to the library to find information. Their religious leaders are saying to them that [the supporters of the Shahbag Protest] want to destroy their religion. They’re lying to them. Religious leaders are lying to them.

“If we don’t do this now, if we do not pressure the government, we will not see it done. We are a non-violent protest.”

Gallery gets a

donation Ryan Macfarlane

The art of Nicholas de Grandmaison

Features Editor

On Feb. 22, 2013, the University of Lethbridge Art Gallery celebrated a gift of 67 pastel portraits by artist Nicholas de Grandmaison, donated by the BMO Financial Group. The gallery is planning an exhibition of some of the work, which will run from May 2 to June 27, 2013.

Hanging on the north wall of the ULAG (University of Lethbridge Art Gallery) are pastel portraits. Crowds have begun to gather, to look at the art. This is the first time these pieces have been given a public showing in an art gallery. The works are portraits of Southern Albertan aboriginal peoples done by Nicholas de Grandmaison.

Grandmaison, who was born in Russia in 1892, fought in World War I where he was taken as a prisoner of war. After the war, Grandmaison fled Russia for England and lived there until he immigrated to Canada in 1923. After some time in Canada, Grandmaison began working professionally as a painter. When he settled in Banff, he developed an interest in depicting the aboriginal people of his new home.

Dr. Mike Mahon, the current president of the University of Lethbridge, brings the attention of the room to the front, where he welcomes everyone to the celebration of the gift.

“We are proud to have one of the most comprehensive collections of artwork and artifacts by Nicholas de Grandmaison,” Dr. Mahon says.

“These works hold special meaning for the University of Lethbridge and indeed the people of Southern Alberta, since most of Grandmaison’s work was created in this area, capturing the individual histories and personalities of those he painted, and demonstrated his passion for the people of Southern Alberta.”

The gift is from the BMO Financial Group. “Typically, we display our artworks around offices across Canada and around the world and it’s viewed by many people,” says Robert Hayes, BMO’s senior vice president of the prairie division, and the BMO representative presenting the work to the university. “But I think we’d all agree that great art deserves to be displayed and seen on a wider scale than just in our corporate offices. As a source of

confidence, enlightenment, and innovation, we’re delighted to make this presentation to the University of Lethbridge, as learning makes us all better, and that’s what this is all about.”

After the presentation, I talk to Dr. Josephine Mills, the curator of the ULAG. She’s delighted with the gift, the biggest she has brought in during her 12 years she’s worked at the university. Her appreciation of Grandmaison’s work is clear to me, even from my brief talk with her. “[Grandmaison] really treated [his subjects] as individuals and became friends with many of the subjects he painted, and you can see that they’re depicted as individuals, not types. He wasn’t like the kind of problematic anthropologist who travelled around with a box with props, like, ‘Oh! Here! Put this headdress on.’ He wasn’t like that at all. He was interested in their authentic story and their individual life stories.”

Dr. Josephine Mills hopes to put part of the $50,000, which came with the gift of the artwork, toward creating an oral history project. “[It] will involve

hiring recent grads and students, and students doing applied studies and co-op program – things like that – so as to actually do the work of gathering oral history.” There isn’t much known right now about the actual people depicted in Grandmaison’s work, so the hope is to use this opportunity to uncover and collect those stories. “I hope to also have more junior students kind of shadow and work on it, so that they learn those skills, so that they develop the kind of employable skills for working in museums and working in the cultural sector.”

Dr. Mills sees the role the university plays in providing opportunities for research to be a big one. “The U of L is small in size, but has fabulous abilities in terms of what we do. I think that it being a liberal education university, that’s a huge asset for the art gallery, because the University of Lethbridge supports doing inter-disciplinary research. That’s often more difficult to do at universities that don’t have that liberal education focus, or that are just much bigger and it’s harder to get together and talk about things.”

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February 28, 2013 • 09

U of L Art Gallery

After our talk, Dr. Mills introduces me to Kirsten Christopherson, who currently works in the ULAG, and got the job after finishing an internship here at the University of Lethbridge.

Thanks to the Grandmaison gifts, the ULAG will bring on new interns who’ll gain plenty of knowledge through hands-on experience. I had the opportunity to discuss with Kirsten her time as an intern, the skills she has acquired during her internship, her master’s program, and what she hopes to do afterward.

Kirsten and I are standing near some of the Grandmaison portraits while Jane Edmundson, the gallery’s registrar, takes down others. “I did my internship with Juliet,” [Juliet Graham, the ULAG Registrar] says Kirsten. “I spent my whole time with her, and we were in the vault a lot. Actually, that was super cool.” There, Kirsten learned conservation work, part of which involved adhesive removal.

“Fancy words for taking tape off the painting,” as Kirsten puts it. The process of adhesive removal involves putting a liquid adhesive remover on the tape, then waiting seven minutes

for it to take effect. During these times, Kirsten says, with Juliet, she’d go through the art in the solander boxes, the boxes used for storing unframed artwork. “One of them was a Matisse, and it was in my hands!”

Kirsten struggles to fully express what it felt like to hold a Matisse like this.

“Even with your white gloves on, it’s just the most amazing experience. It’s really intimate.”

Kirsten has a master’s program lined up for this fall at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. She feels Queen’s offers the best of what she wants to study. “They have an incredible 17th-century Dutch art collection.”

Kirsten decided on studying Dutch art after, a few years previous, e-mailing someone from the National Gallery in London. The response informed Kirsten that, to have a position in a gallery such as the National Gallery in London, she would be expected to know the language of the art she studies. “It would either be English art or Dutch art.” Being born and partially raised in Holland, this was an easy decision for Kirsten.

Kirsten isn’t sure what she’ll do after

Kirsten Christopherson Ryan Macfarlane finishing her master’s at Queen’s. She hasn’t ruled out more schooling yet.

But her ideal job would be as a specialist in an auction house, “like Christie’s or Sotheby’s, because then I could get flown around the world, looking at people’s paintings, which would be incredible.” She’d also consider some position in a historic museum or gallery, instead of one in something contemporary, but she recognizes “jobs in this field are pretty scarce.” Regardless what she decides to pursue, Kirsten definitely feels her internship at the University of Lethbridge has prepared her well.

“Whatever you want to do, they’ll find a way for you to do it.”

SPOTLIGHT on the city The

Penny Coffeehouse Ryan Macfarlane Features Editor

Ryan Macfarlane

I’m sitting in The Penny right now, about to conduct an interview with Eileen Abbott, the owner and manager of The Penny Coffeehouse. While I’m waiting, I talk with Nick Hill who is slinging espresso drinks from behind his La Marzocco Italian espresso machine. “It’s Ferrari Red,” he tells me. “They actually had to ask permission from Ferrari to use the colour.” He takes great pride in his ability to craft specialty espresso drinks, and shows me his latté rosetta. It’s quite impressive, I must admit.

Eileen comes in carting a flat of bread, which was just baked that day for The Penny. I let Eileen know she can take her time, because I don’t need to be anywhere until later in the day. “Oh, but I do,” she informs me. Eileen is definitely busy running The Penny. As I’m leaving, I’ll see her jump behind the till, taking orders and adding a personal touch to her business. But first I ask her a few questions.

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February 28, 2013 • 11

Ryan Macfarlane Ryan: What was it like growing up in Scotland, before immigrating to Canada?

Eileen: Oh, loved it! Raining, green.

[Laughs] But, at that point I never imagined myself living anywhere else.

All my family was there. So, I enjoyed it.

much more active since being in Canada. I love the mountains where I frequently hike, snowshoe, cross country ski. The lakes where I camp and try my hand at kayaking or canoeing. You will also see me running the coulee trails, training for a race or riding my road bike.

R: So what made you decide to immigrate to Canada?

E: Well, my sister immigrated to Canada quite a few years before me and I’d been out here on a few trips and loved it. Decided to apply for immigration, see how it went. At that time I was married to Clive [the current Penny baker], so both of us came out in 1990 to Canada. Originally for possibly two years, see how we liked it, but we loved it! So, here I am in Lethbridge with my Penny family.

R: What kinds of things did you do in Canada before you became part of The Penny?

E: I worked in Lake Louise at the Chateau Lake Louise, and the Post Hotel, and Storm Mountain Lodge, cooking. Cooking in all three places.

Then came to Lethbridge. Looked for a job; nothing really interested me.

Then The Penny offered a position as a part-time baker, so that’s the reason I started here. Did a little bit of baking and here I am now.

R: That’s great! And what made you choose Lethbridge?

E: When we first came to Canada we moved to Lake Louise. We were there for about three and a half years. We then moved to Lethbridge, because at that point Clive was changing professions and Lethbridge offered the best program for the course that he wanted to take. It was environmental science, so Lethbridge College was the best choice. So, that’s why Lethbridge.

R: Was growing a business like The Penny something you always aspired towards, or was it something you fell into through chance?

E: When we’d been cooking, Clive and I, together, we both were interested in our own business, but more as a restaurant than a coffee shop. When I started working at The Penny I loved it so much and then the opportunity came up to buy it [in December 1999], and at that point that’s what I decided to do.

R: What does it mean for you now to call Canada home?

E: Everything! [Laughs] Canada is most definitely my home. I’ve been here – oh, since 1990, and in Lethbridge since 1993. What’s that – 20 years, nearly? Um, I’d love to say half my life, but it’s not quite. [Laughs] I have such a good band of friends here that I call my Canadian family. I miss my family at home, but I wouldn’t want to go back there and live. I’m glad I have a sister in Edmonton, which isn’t too far away, so we can still see each other. Keep ties. I’ve been

R: Could you imagine yourself doing anything other than what you’re doing now?

E: At the moment, no, I can’t. There’s always something at the back of my mind, you know, “what would I do if I didn’t have The Penny?” But, at the moment, nothing’s come to mind. I’m still very happy here. I would miss my Penny family.

R: Considering Lethbridge as a community, where do you see The Penny’s place in it?

E: I think it’s a very big part of the community. I think that The Penny does a lot for the community in the way of sponsorship, etc. We sponsor a lot of different events in town, whether it is a road race, a triathlon, or a concert. It is my way of giving back to the community. We have many customers from the university, such as professors, alumni, or students. It’s a very big part of The Penny, and I believe The Penny is a big part in their lifestyle too.

R: The Penny’s a favourite meet-up spot of many university students here.

What do you think makes The Penny so attractive to the university crowd?

E: I think there are many reasons. I think the fact that it is downtown. The fact that I have excellent staff, good customer service. We have a good rapport with the customers, in particular, with university students. There’s good interaction between the staff and the customers. The quality of food, the quality of the baking, the quality of the drinks – the coffee, the specialty drinks. I think it all plays a part. I think the atmosphere in The Penny is like a home from home. So a lot of people feel comfortable coming in here and sitting and doing their studying, whether it’s for half an hour, or all evening.

R: I think home plays a big part in it.

E: I think it’s such a good place to meet other people who are here doing similar things. Like not necessarily meeting the staff, but just meeting other patrons.

R: I can testify to that myself.

E: [Laughs] R: The Penny also draws in diverse groups including families, retired couples, blue- and white- collar workers on break. Does The Penny have a kind of universal appeal that draws in such diverse groups?

E: I think it does have. But I also think the location is one thing, because it is in the core of downtown where you have a lot of professional offices around, or you have the seniors’ centre, or now that the university is occupying some of the space across the street in The Penny Building. I think we offer something for everyone.

I’ll often have repeat customers daily, which is really good! [Laughs] I think there’s something that appeals to everyone. Whether it’s – again, it’s that atmosphere. Some people like it because they can come in, sit and watch what’s going on. Sometimes it’s just a good way for them to pass the time. Families like to meet and have coffee and a freshly baked pastry.

Local professionals join us for a freshly made sandwich or soup at lunch time.

We are very busy at lunchtime, and do our best to provide a freshly made lunch that you can grab and go. Or if you have more time, you can sit and enjoy a sandwich at a more leisurely pace. I think having wireless internet is an essential part of any business these days, and it is something we could not do without.

R: Yeah, I think that helps quite a bit.

With the rise of drive-through coffee – I’m referring to Tim Horton’s, Starbucks, McCafe – how important do you think it is to continue to have a local, brick-and-mortar coffee shop?

E: I think very important. I don’t think you can get the same experience going elsewhere. We try very, very hard to keep our quality of our product high, but I don’t think you’ll get the atmosphere in any corporate stores as you would in the local, privately owned. Definitely. I agree with that 100 per cent! [Laughs] What are your favourite Penny memories?

Send them to f.editor@meliorist.ca

The price of everything has gone up...

A CUP OF

COFFEE IN 1987

$1.07

IN 2013

$1.95

...so have our printing costs.

VOTE YES! In the Meliorist referendum

meliorist the

A $5 levy fee since 1987

*All calculations based on an 81.44% inflation increase over 26 years as per the Bank of Canada’s website.

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meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 13

Adventure Time: Mathematical!

RJ Balog

Entertainment Writer Ever overheard some people talking about a really cool original show that’s kind of a kid’s show but it’s really a show for adults too? Ever been cruising the inter webs and come across a bizarre image of a cartoon yellow dog, or a meme of a boy that looks like he’s wearing a bunny hat?

Chances are that you’ve stumbled upon the magical world that is Adventure Time.

That’s how I came across what soon became one of my most treasured shows. It was all I heard about.

Seriously it was everywhere. On entertainment websites, “best of” television reviews, Twitter, comics; it was surrounding me on all fronts and I had no idea what it even was. Then it was on that fateful day that I was casually flipping across channels and there it was, a marathon of episodes just waiting to be consumed. I watched for hours. Sure I had other stuff to do – but priorities, people; I didn’t know when an opportunity like this would ever happen again. But enough rambling, what is Adventure Time?

Adventure Time is a hand-drawn

animated show, created by Pendleton Ward, that erases that line separating shows as being labelled for kids or for adults. The show takes place in the mystical Land of Ooo, where adventure is always around the corner. Our main character is Finn the Human, a boy in his early teens determined to prove to the world that he has the courage and determination to be a hero. Accompanied by his best friend and brother (not by blood) Jake the Dog, the two boys are always up for an adventure. Oh did I mention that Jake is a magic dog? Finn and Jake can get into some pretty tight spots, but it helps that through Jake’s magic he is able to shrink or expand and manipulate himself into anything he wants. If that’s not enough, how about adding that Jake is voiced by John DiMaggio, one of today’s premier voice talents whose works include Bender (among others) from Futurama and Aquaman from the terrific Batman: The Brave and The Bold.

If there is one thing that I can say about Adventure Time, it’s that it’s probably the most creative and

original show I’ve ever seen. Some of the adventures include wizard battles, exploration of elaborate dungeons, or even the residents of the Candy Kingdom (all made of candy, naturally) becoming flesh-eating zombies.

There’s even a different universe where all the characters’ genders are reversed, with Finn and Jake becoming Fiona and Cake (Cake being a cat instead of a dog). The thing about Adventure Time is that when you watch it you feel like you’re on an adventure! There’s a folky majesty to it that’s reminiscent of a Dungeons and Dragons quest which pulls you in to each story. The situations and settings that occur in each episode are creative enough as it is, but the real magic of Adventure Time is the cast of characters that they’ve built into its world.

Throughout Finn and Jake’s adventures they come across some very distinct characters such as Princess Bubblegum (who’s made of bubble gum, I believe), the evil Ice King, Treetrunks (a pint-sized elephant), Marceline the Vampire Queen, Lady Rainicorn (Jake’s girlfriend, a half

rainbow half unicorn who speaks Korean), and my personal favourite the Lumpy Space Princess (a big floating purple lump from space).

Seeing these characters interact is hilarious and just plain fun.

Not just for kids or adults, but for both: the show isn’t offensive, it often teaches a larger moral message, and it even takes a word kids hate and uses it as a catch phrase for cool, or “math!” (as Finn often yells). This is a show that uses its creativity and cleverly thought-out humour to achieve something far superior to just a kid’s show.

Adventure Time has heart, and that’s why you should give it a chance. It doesn’t end there either; Adventure Time has expanded into the world of games, toys, and even comics which actually hold up to the show’s standard of excellence. Try something new instead of the slop that’s usually on TV each night. Be part of a cult following that isn’t just Fight Club.

Grab some friends – it’s Adventure Time.

Giving

macabre endings to

television shows:

part two Andrew McCutcheon Entertainment Writer

The Teletubbies

You remember that baby in the sun?

Well, it has a lifespan and grows up.

The teletubbies’ world only has a human lifetime to exist. When the person inside the sun dies, it goes supernova. All four teletubbies die slowly of radiation poisoning, turning their colorful skin black and melty, until they can see bone as chunks of flesh flake off and disappear into ash. They also cannot talk, so as much as they need to scream, their lips have been melted over and fused together from the intense, unstoppable heat.

Arthur

Arthur knows that having fun isn’t hard, especially when you have a library card, except when he goes to the restricted section without the librarian knowing and checks out The Necronomicon. The tome was written long ago “when the seas ran red,

inked in blood and bound in flesh.”

Arthur becomes obsessed with the various spells, alchemic recipes, and demon summoning rituals within. He stops going to school, and thrusts himself deeper into his work and madness. None of his school friends see him for months, until one day Buster checks up on him. The house seems deserted. Buster vomits when he opens the door to the basement.

The walls are covered in a pulsating, bloody flesh. Arthur had attempted to summon a Shoggoth with the still-living human sacrifices of his family, but failed. Their earth bodies, still living in a grotesque masquerade, have been flattened and contorted into a macabre wall paper of human effluence and suffering. Arthur’s nose barely pokes out from behind a flap of torso, contorting in pain, barely able to speak between the hellish screams of innumerable unimaginable pains. He

begs for death. Buster obliges him.

Adventure Time

After having rescued princess Gumdrop once more from the evil clutches of the Ice King, Jake and Finn continue to berate the king for his destructive behavior; all the while Finn is holding his magic sword to the Ice King’s neck.

The Ice King laughs and remarks that no matter how many times Jake and Finn catch him, he will always escape to kidnap another princess. He then attempts to jump up to run away, but not before his neck is sliced on Finn’s sword. Finn, Jake, and the princess turn white as the Ice King gurgles and grasps his neck, as bright red arterial blood shoots metres across the room.

They stand frozen as he, clutching the floor and dragging himself towards Finn, breaking his fingernails off, finally coughs, sputters, and breaths his last. “… It… It was an accident… I

swear! I didn’t… mean… to…” Finn whimpers out. Jake and the princess, still wide eyed, console him, but in Finn’s eyes, they aren’t looking at him in the same way anymore. “Jake…

Buddy… Don’t you believe me?! I didn’t mean to! It was an accident!”

Jake opens his mouth to say something, but remains quiet. They fly with Princess Rainicorn back to their tree house, and Finn remains quiet despite Jake’s attempts to cheer him up. The guilt is overwhelming. All he ever wanted to do was be a hero. Finn isn’t the same, refusing to leave the clubhouse or go on adventures. He knows no one believes him and LSP has told everyone what’s happened.

Jake decides he is going to surprise Finn with a new backpack, but comes home to find Finn with his wrists slit open in the bathtub. The note left behind merely says, “It wasn’t my fault.”

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meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 15

Étienne Dano brings fits of Étienne Dano crée des laughter to Lethbridge éclats de rire à Lethbridge Maggie Kogut

Entertainment Editor Déjà presque un mois passé, le 9 février, Lethbridge a eu le plaisir d’accueillir Étienne Dano, comédien québécois. Sur une tournée, Dano a présenté son « one man show » à la Cité des Prairies.

Malheureusement, mon français n’est pas assez bon de m’avoir laissé comprendre chacun de ses blagues et histoires, mais en jugent des réactions des autres spectateurs, Dano est un homme très comique, un fait que moi aussi j’ai compris dès les blagues que j’avais la culpabilité de comprendre.

Pour ajouter, l’hilarité de Dano ne venait pas seulement de ses histoires, mais aussi des façons dont il racontait ses histoires et blagues. Dano utilisait des expressions du visage très expressifs et il avait une énergie qui complètement remplissait la chambre.

Il a même montré ses talents de danse dans une pièce très comique à propos de la danse DDR. En même temps qu’il divertissait les spectateurs, Dano a aussi croisé le seuil entre son spectacle et les specta-

teurs. Il est devenu très intime avec ses spectateurs. Avec ses histoires intimes, l’introduction des spectateurs (et même plus impressionnant son souvenir de nos noms) et les chances aux spectateurs de participer, Dano a créé une atmosphère intime et confortable ce qui a mené à une nuit absolument rigolo.

Encore, ce n’est pas seulement les histoires et les blagues qui ont créés un spectacle excellent, c’est la façon de les réciter. Au cours de son spectacle, Dano a raconté une histoire très comique à propos d’une mouffette.

Après le spectacle, j’ai essayé de raconter l’histoire à une amie, mais sans l’émotion, l’énergie, et les talents comiques de Dano, ma version de l’histoire n’était pas comique du tout.

Pour un comédien, l’art n’est pas seulement dans le contenu, mais dans la manipulation du contenu.

Seulement un comédien avec de talent peut manipuler une histoire simple pour créer une pièce hilarante qui cause des éclats de rire.

English translation

Already almost a month ago, on Feb. 9, Lethbridge had the pleasure of hosting Étienne Dano, a comedian from Quebec. While on a tour, Dano presented his “one man show” at the Cité des Prairies school.

Unfortunately, my French isn’t adequate enough to have allowed me to comprehend all of Dano’s jokes and stories, but judging from other audience members’ reactions, Dano is a very funny guy – a fact that I also figured out for myself from the jokes that I was able to understand. As well, the hilarity of Dano doesn’t come only from the actual jokes, but from the way that he told his jokes and stories. Dano used expressive facial expressions and radiated an energy that filled up the whole stage. He even showed us his dance talents in a hilarious bit about DDR. Apart from his talents at entertaining the audience, Dano crossed the threshold between the stage and the audience and became very intimate with his audience. With his intimate

stories, introductions from audience members (impressively, he even remembered these introductions and called out people by name throughout the show), and the chances he gave for audience participation, Dano created an intimate and comfortable atmosphere that led to an absolutely hilarious night.

Again, it’s not only the jokes and stories that Dano told that made an excellent show, but the comedic aspects that he used to tell his jokes and stories. For example, during the show, Dano told a hilarious story involving a skunk. I tried after the show to tell the story to a friend, but I failed miserably and my version of the story was not funny at all. For a comedian, telling stories and jokes is an art that involves not only content, but talented manipulation of the content.

With Dano’s energy, emotion, pace, and ability to fill the whole stage with his presence, he has that ability to turn a simple story about a skunk into a hilarious comedic.

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meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 18

Crossword

Across

1. Poultry 5. Reef material 10. Back of the neck 14. District 15. 3-banded armadillo 16. Quaint outburst 17. Back 18. Judge 20. Mutt 22. Recurrence 23. Hearing organ 24. East African country 25. Transparent 32. Loamy deposit 33. Moses' brother 34. British rule in India 37. Wings 38. Leafy shelter 39. Head of hair 40. Apiece 41. A noble gas 42. Hotel

Sudoku

offering 43. Raconteur 45. Oodles 49. Rodent 50. Lurches 53. Xylophone 57. Uncommitted 59. Jetty 60. Exposed 61. Interrupt temporarily 62. Gave temporarily 63. Winglike 64. Besmirch 65. Terminates

Down

1. Ranch 2. Chocolate cookie 3. Withdraw gradually 4. Generous gifts 5. Photographic necessity 6. Iridescent gem 7. A small piece of cloth 8. Diva's solo 9. Not first 10. Audacity 11. Another time 12. Fall guy 13. Swelling under the skin 19.

Captured 21. Rodents 25. Applaud 26. Part in a play 27. 365 days 28. Very slow in tempo 29. Work hard 30. Sarcasm 31. Neither ___ 34. Train track 35. Initial wager

36. Razz 38. Paintings 39. Manifold 41. Something of value 42. Char 44. Wall Street figure 45. Aqualung 46. Artificial waterway 47. A kind of macaw 48. Discourage 51. Short sleeps 52. Fraud 53. Plateau 54. Bearing 55. Curve 56. The products of human creativity 58. Color

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, and fuck you, I’m out!”

Easy Hard

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meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 19

Our truth and effort: Lethbridge needs to invest in itself in order to prosper Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

On Monday, Feb. 11, 2013, city and county councils met to hear a report from a consultant on the potential expansion of our local airport. It was decided, after lengthy discussions, that the city will not commit extensive resources to the capital improvement of the airport in the foreseeable future. The reasons cited were that expansion on the south side of Lethbridge has slowed, while expansion to the west and north increases: areas that are further away from the airport.

My response to this is: so?

You can get from my house on the west side to the airport in 20 minutes.

Who cares where the expansion is within the city? The councils, and I say this respectfully, need to start looking at the airport as a regional affair — not merely beneficial to the people of Lethbridge and surrounding county, but also to those areas of the province that lie to the south. It annoys the hell out of me that it takes longer for me to catch a flight from Lethbridge to Calgary, wait for a lay-over, and then fly to my hometown than it does for me to just drive to Calgary and hop a plane there (something difficult in

winter driving conditions). The current terminal is also grossly undersized for the population it could be serving and the lack of competition for air carriers (or really, incentive for them to fly into the airport) is shorting the area of the potential growth within the region’s tourist trade.

Lethbridge doesn’t have a tourist trade, some might argue, but I disagree. We are home to a rich history of mining in Canada, we have world-class museums, gardens, and exhibition centres (all of which have either been improved or are being improved within the next decade). We are the central hub for access to Milk River and Writing-on-Stone Provincial Park, Devil’s Coulee Park, and we are the closest city access to Waterton Lakes National Park which receives more than 100,000 visitors per annum.

We should be capitalizing on our region, not focusing on why the city is prohibitive to airport expansion. The very idea that a city and county should not spend the money on easing its accessibility to more markets is absurd. More markets means a greater attraction for future investment in the area. Investment has slowed, you

say? Could it possibly be because we are at capacity right now? Absolutely not. We are at capacity in some things: any entrepreneur in the area should look at Lethbridge and instantly know a restaurant is a bad idea. So is any kind of small shop that competes directly with Wal-Mart. Tourism, manufacturing, and niche businesses are where the growth lies: but the access to markets is currently prohibitive.

City council needs to strongly reconsider its reluctance when it comes to investing in the airport. Over 10,000 residents within the city are university or college students, many of whom travel throughout the school year (Christmas, Reading Week, end of term, start of term, Thanksgiving, Easter) either returning home or travelling to random destinations as determined by their budgets and luck.

Expand the airport — make it cheaper for these students to fly out of Lethbridge than it is to drive/bus to Calgary and park for a week/however long. Approach regional carriers that will offer competition at the airport for direct flights to short-haul destinations: Calgary, Edmonton, Kelowna,

Vancouver, Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg, Great Falls — any of this would work and it would encourage use of our facilities!

For a council that spends massive amounts of money on an oversized police force (and hey, I’m all for safe communities and law and order), loses money on land deals, and is planning massive capital improvement projects that have many residents questioning the council’s spending already, it sure has a backward stance on its budget.

The “build it and they will come” strategy isn’t the way to go — the consultant was correct – but neither is neglecting the airport or attributing only $500,000 to operations as the council decided. Growth is coming for this city whether the council wants it or not and it is time for the council to start considering that when making its decisions. Improvements and expansion to the airport would be a boon to the region — it would provide easier access to those areas of the province that already have the numbers to substantiate an investment in increased accessibility and Lethbridge is skipping out on a chance to capitalize on that investment.

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meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 21

Johnny Travis Robinson Sports Editor

I had the chance to speak with Johnny Korthuis via telephone over Reading Week. This Lethbridge-based arborist and sportsman of all kinds made headlines recently for his High Level Bridge BASE jump, and corresponding video that went viral and attracted the attention of both the media and local authorities. Although that now-infamous video is no longer up, Korthuis was more than willing to discuss his sporting career as he took a break from photo shoots in Tampa, Florida. Herewith, a conversation with this jack of all trades of the alternative sporting world.

Travis Robinson: Has BASE jumping

become more about jumping off of shorter structures rather than taller ones?

Johnny Korthuis: BASE jumping has always included low jumps. We call them dirty jumps. It’s always sort of included that, because they’re easier to get to. The [High Level] Bridge, for instance, is very, very low technicality.

It’s actually a very easy BASE jump.

The lower BASE jumps – especially because BASE jumping is getting more and more popular and more and more people are doing it – those little ones are all over the place. You’re going to see them done a lot more, because not everyone can afford to go and jump a skyscraper or go to Norway and fly the big cliffs. That’s probably why you see more and more smaller stuff.

TR: What goes into the preparation for a BASE jump?

Korthuis

JK: So much, man. Obviously it’s

mostly mental. The actual gear prep really just includes packaging that parachute up, making sure everything is attached right, making sure your rigging is good. After that, everything else is your body, so you have to figure out where the object is, how to get to the top of the object, where you’re going to do your exit, where you’re actually going to do your jump, and then try to minimize the risk. If the winds are coming out of this way or that way – there’s a lot of variables there that you have to be aware of.

Preparing your mind for best case and worst case scenarios is super key.

People don’t really see that side of things. They just see the badasses that jump, and they don’t realize that it’s a very calculated movement. Just jumping off of something, the way you have to do it to be stable in air is very technical. A lot of mental prep, a lot of getting yourself into it, figure out what is going to happen, so when the time comes, put your body in the position you’ve already put it in in your mind.

TR: How did you end up getting involved in extreme sports?

JK: When I was about 11 or 12 I really got involved in mountain biking. I did everything all the other kids did, we did soccer, basketball. Then I got into martial arts, and that was really cool, because it really focused on you as an athlete. From there, I moved on to mountain biking, and it was just so rad, because you’re pushing yourself mentally and physically, but it was just you, and you don’t rely on anybody

else. From mountain biking I moved on to rock climbing, skydiving, and it just sort of took off from there. Now I do a little bit of everything, as you can see on YouTube. It just sort of evolved.

I don’t like to think of myself as an adrenaline athlete or extreme athlete, I’m just a very driven person. Any opportunity to really better myself either physically or mentally is an opportunity that I usually just jump on.

Skydiving and BASE jumping, in the way that they’re unique in comparison to the other sports I do, is that it’s a mental challenge. They’re not physically difficult, as far as exertion and the need to be strong and muscular. You need to be strong mentally to do those sorts of things, which is why it’s so cool.

TR: Do you think the term “extreme

sports” gets thrown around a bit too haphazardly?

JK: So much. It seems to me that people don’t realize that you can die doing anything. A lot of mountain bikers die every year, a lot of skydivers.

Actually, not a lot of skydivers anymore, and even BASE jumping has gotten relatively safe in comparison to the way that it used to be. I think that people just attach that worst case scenario – you could die doing that, so they call it extreme. In all reality, extreme is just a way to look at things.

There are some people going out, and they’re doing these kinds of sports with no calculations – they’re not analytical whatsoever, they’re just throwing themselves off… the best guys in the world aren’t like that. The

best BASE jumpers, the best skydivers, the best mountain bikers, are smart, athletic, calculated individuals that practice and practice and practice technique and meditate and hone in on those skills rather than just going out and throwing themselves. The guys out there just being extreme and throwing themselves into sports usually last about 18 months in these sports and they either break themselves or kill themselves out of the sport. The best guys are always the calm, calculated kind of guys.

TR: Are there any structures you’re

looking at to BASE jump off of in the future? What does the future hold for you?

JK: Definitely. There are so many iconic jumps out there. Norway has two very beautiful cliffs, and that’s something that really draws me is the nature aspect, being way out in the backwoods and on mountains and things like that. I’m getting really excited to fly wingsuits, proximity fly, just because you’re out there and you’re experiencing nature in a way that few people have. Definitely looking forward to doing that stuff. I also have some stunts that are lined up that are going to be happening in the near future, definitely some cool things that have never been done before that are going to be ground-breaking for sure.

The Throwers Two Travis Robinson Sports Editor

I sat down with first year track and field athletes, and Nova Scotia natives, Peter Millman and Kayla Gallagher to discuss their throwing careers under the tutelage of world class coach Larry Steinke, and what made them choose throwing as their primary sport.

TR: Why do you think track and field falls under the CIS radar as sport?

Peter Millman: Just because it’s a long season. We started in September; everybody else has had their seasons and are done by now, even teams that started later than us. We train September to August every year so our season never really ends. You get the highlights when they come, but we’re a year-long season.

Kayla Gallagher: In the past couple of years, they [the Pronghorns] haven’t been as successful as other teams. I don’t know why people don’t know about us; we practice twice a day.

We’re in the gym all the time.

TR: Explain the indoor discipline

weight throw to me.

PM: Weight throw for men is a 35-pound ball on a short wire, as opposed to hammer outside, which is a 16-pound ball on a long wire. A lot different acceleration, a lot different distance.

KG: Mine is a 20-pound ball.

TR: Is training with high level athletes

a factor as well?

KG: Of course.

PM: If that’s where you want to end up, there’s no better place to be than somewhere where you can see the people that have done it.

TR: Who is the main competition you face in CIS?

TR: What has coach Larry Steinke meant to your athletic careers?

PM: Without Larry, there is no way I

would have ended up in Lethbridge. I didn’t even know it was a place until I heard of Larry. He is an amazing coach. We were in a good situation where we were, and we realized the only way to get better was to go somewhere better for us to train.

KG: There are only two [throwing specific] training facilities in Canada, and we knew people who had already come through here and did really well.

PM: The perks of training with Olympians are that you always get pushed.

KG: University of Guelph for girls.

PM: York for guys.

TR: Is a smaller school more condu-

cive to quality training in terms of the interaction with coaches?

PM: We have quite a large group of throwers compared to other schools.

On the throwing scale, we do have quite a big team.

KG: We don’t have runners.

Lethbridge is a throw school basically.

TR: Did you participate in any other sports growing up?

KG: I grew up and played female hockey my whole life.

PM: I played football right through.

TR: What made you focus on throwing?

PM: Larry showed an interest, and I

got recruited to come here, and we don’t have a football team but I was going to choose to specialize in track anyways.

KG: I get really competitive, and when it came to hockey, I was a goalie, so I can’t do anything. I find that with track, you aren’t judged by people. They can look at your number, and that’s where you are. Someone’s opinion can’t change that number that you threw.

That makes the sport so much better for me than a lot of other sports.

PM: There’s numbers, not a judgement – numbers that say how good you are.

TR: Do you have Olympic expectations?

PM: I hope to make an Olympics someday.

KG: It would be fun.

the

meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 23

Hot topic:

Do a little dance, make a lotta love!

Barry White

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

There’s a whole world of judgement some people may fear when they get naked in front of their partner — they’ve gained a little weight, they aren’t as toned as their partner’s last fling, they’ve had an outbreak of back-acne they are still trying to clear up, or they neglected to tidy their nether-region… whatever the reason it can sometimes be difficult getting naked to do the dirty-yet-oh-so-fun.

Instead of stripping in the dark and hoping they don’t notice your flaws come daybreak, embrace your individuality and get naked with the lights on.

Put aside your reservations, giggle at your imperfections, and don’t be judgemental of your partner’s bod (‘cause they aren’t perfect either!).

Introducing the striptease! This can be done with both guys and gals.

Ladies, you’re featured this week so here are some basic how-to steps and trouble-shooting tips. Guys, stay tuned next week!

Gals: Start to love your shape — and

work what nature gave ya!

Okay, so you’ve got some stretch marks and maybe some cellulite, your hairstyle is a bit limp from a long day hitting the books hard, and you haven’t had the cash to go to the spa and get the bikini-line waxed (if you do this yourself you may now begin referring to yourself as Xena the

Warrior Queen). This, in the big picture, doesn’t matter. What’s important is you learn to work what you’ve got and if you’re making improvements, all the better!

Striptease is not about flexibility, so if you’re thinking you aren’t limber enough for this — stop making excuses. All you need is some fun music (Barry White is cliché; go with something funky and kick up a spunky atmosphere!), some clothing (that you start by wearing!), and a go-get-‘em attitude that will literally have your partner tumbling out of their skivvies.

Step 1: Put some music on and set the mood lighting.

Step 2: If your plans involve a change

of costume, now is your opportunity.

Excuse yourself and go make the changes (I always find it easier to lay things out in the bathroom/other room beforehand so you don’t have to scramble if your outfit has pieces).

Take your time! Your partner is a grownup and more than capable of entertaining themselves for a few minutes. If they call asking where you are, tell them it’s worth the wait.

Step 3: Make a grand entrance. A personal fave of mine is the classic leg-around-the-door-jamb – especially if shoes and stockings are involved.

Move slowly, find the rhythm of the

music, and don’t forget to smile. Use the furniture in the room – chairs, desk, dresser, and bed (obviously) – to dance around. Spin in circles, move your hips, push those money-makers out, and grin from ear to ear.

Step 4: Remove clothing piece by precious piece. If you have a corset on, have your partner pull the strings and then dance away coyly. Draw it out: one shoe at a time, one stocking at a time (you could also have your partner remove these with their teeth if they are thigh-highs or knee-highs).

Remove your shirt/top last, pulling it over your head and drop it on the floor.

Step 5: The ravishing finale… when the song ends, make sure you are looking at your partner. Choose a coy stance, gaze into their eyes. If you end on the bed, lean in for a kiss. They will be dying to run their hands all over you — guaranteed.

Tips to troubleshoot:

Don’t hesitate! While getting dressed, pump yourself up for the activity. If there’s a mirror, find five things you think are super-hot about you in the moment before you go out.

It’s a little confidence-booster. If you get shy at any point during the tease, end it early, or just go with it. Take a breath, regain your confidence, smile,

and keep going. It’s a private performance and your audience will love every minute of it.

Plan clothing removal — this sounds like a no-brainer because we get dressed and undressed every day. But adding in the watchful stare, the sensual movement, and the constant re-balancing can actually make the act of removing some articles of clothing more difficult. Don’t pull shirts up over your head unless you are steady. Sit down to remove pants, shorts, or underwear. Make sure you kick discarded clothes out of the way, or purposefully drop them into a place you won’t be stepping in a second as you try to twirl. You are creating tripping hazards as you go, so watch out!

One of the biggest things to remember is that your partner is having a good time watching you, but you should also be having a good time teasing them! Explore your nudity in front of them and it will drive them wild. For those with male partners: men are typically voyeurs. They get turned on by what they are seeing, so give them a show. Play with yourself and in general enjoy your own naked sensuality while you’re out of reach.

They’ll get their turn when you are done dancing!

** Submit your TLFs at www.themeliorist.ca. All TLFs must be submitted via a valid uleth e-mail account. Keep in mind that libelous or offensive TLFs may be edited or omitted. The TLFs do not reflect the view or opinions of The Meliorist Publishing Society.

If the fetus you save ends up being homosexual, will you still fight for its rights?

located about 26,000 light years from the center of the Milky Way. DFTBA.

Hey you! Yeah, you. ilubttws Stop smiling, goof! Or someone’s going to know this is meant for you!

@othernerdfighter Favorite hank vlogs Human Sexuality is Complicated, and Adult Female.

Favorite John vlogs Surreal Dissent into Madness and How it Felt. Also An Evening of Awesome

I know your busy Dr. Greg Patenaude, but if you have a chance to write an article; it would greatly improve the quality of this paper.

Sincerely, Those who enjoy a proper drink.

To the random guy in the plaid shirt who bought my coffee. You disappeared before I could thank you, so….Thanks!

I like your face.

Girl with the cassette tattoo on her back at the gym. You are quite attractive!

Beware she who should not be slayed – SS Make your voice heard and vote in the student elections! Vote for a student that cares, re-elect Victoria Wells!

You can be my Whorecrux! – SpiderSean I love her, but don’t know what to say…or how to say it Tips?

Flat out ask? Nervous Man! Hank is a mass of incandescent gas

Since 1987...

Haha! To the so called “HOTTER Blonde” Don’t forget to do your eyebrows!

From A True Blonde You would think professors would know that the 9th floor library is a silent area… Get off your cell phone!

You aren’t exempt from the rules.

Last time I checked all of us in residence pay to have internet ALL THE TIME. Why is it then that the internet only works part of the time?

So frustrating!

To the dark haired guy with a hat at the gym Friday night of reading week around 8:30 on the treadmill by the mats, single?

-Curly haired girl you were smiling at What’s more fun than throwing rocks

at houses? The 30th Annual ULMCC Open Curling Bonspiel is fast approaching! March 15-17. 4 people per team. Sign up at Sports & Rec. desk. to my favourite Imgurian, myopinionis, stay classy my friend… stay classy. Jose and Banana for scale.

From DocKSAR Hey Coffee Company man! You always make my mornings better with your genuine smile and delicious breakfast sandwiches. Keep up the excellent work! You’re the best!

Releasing a CineCoup trailer Feb 28 for a feature film being made by uleth students and alumni in Lethbridge this summer. http://www.facebook.com/RosalindRe venge. hey library. it’s READING week. on monday the gym was open. you were closed. the rest of the week you have reduced your hours from 8-11 to 8-430. are you serious?!

Renae: why do my thoughts always find you there. It is a struggle to think of anything else because nothing else is worth thinking about.

-ordinary man in love with an angel Hello Unknown Admirer: Thanks! I need something to kill the time when

Our operating costs have gone

my friends aren’t around, so snapchat it is! Glad to know I don’t look as silly as I thought! – Pool Area Girl KNES 2200 – someone needs to get Ja Rule a watch…and more swagger, if possible.

-MF Hey students! March 1st is imgur Kindness Day. Bring a smile to someone’s face. ”No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

– Aesop.

Real is famous. #ChickenProbs An hour and a half in the oven to cook food? It’s the year 2013.

Interested blonde girl; I think you were first year and in a science program. If not I think I’d still like to meet you sometime – Bingo guy.

Stephanie Inman: #10 on the Jersey, #1 in my heart!

To the lovely gentleman singing as he walked from the tunnel to uhall on the 15, couldn’t stop smiling, you have an amazing voice, keep it up!

Which one of you put PE 250 on the front page of Reddit? I’m looking at you jigglefest2…

way up!

PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR CAMPUS NEWSPAPER!

the

meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 25

In the past 26 years...

...except the Meliorist fee.

To the guy that does Absolute Balderdash on CKXU. You should not joke about beating children on your radio show. Not cool, bro.

D2, you may be able to lift lots but how functional are you?

1 arm snatch 40 lbs for reps Overhead bosu ball squat 50 pounds AND I can almost do a full one legged squat Cum at me To the champ that posted TTH lyrics in last weeks… You are a sacred and wonderful soul.

To the cute guy who saw a girl checking her car battery issue on last monday around 3pm..thank you for asking if it was ok i almost wished it wasnt so you we couldve talked more Hey douche bags who chuck their cigarette butts out their car window..that’s how grass fires generally start in a place like Leth. It’s called littering. Show some respect.

Just witnessed a sodexo staff get winded moving two armchairs in cj’s You know you’re from Lethbridge when you think a deep and thorough blow job is something the wind does to your hair.

Roses are red, Violet are blue, To the guy who followed me all the way down uhall to give me back my favorite white scarf, I’d like to say “thank you” I know honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that’s about four inches.

We go my way, it’s an inch and a half.

You wanna pay for the extra gas?

Dear Matt A. with the bright blue backpack, you are more and more attractive everytime I see you! Single?

To the guy supervising the Chem 1000 midterm on Wednesday night, are you a carbon sample? Cause I want to date you. to the 2 girls in Geog 2600, Stop complaining about GLERs! Some people actually take uni seriously, so you should probably SHUT UP! Sincerely, Girl who likes paying attention

To the girl in the red hoodie at the top of Psyc 2800, coffee sometime? – Nervous Guy

Dear John, Happy Vtines! I will try to be a more graceful winner next time I beat you in running/biking/swimming/skiing/Gue sstures/general. From your girlfriend/idol

To the short haired girl that works at the book store you are beautiful.

Keep that amazing smile going!

To the Ryan working in Vasey’s lab.

You are the only man I am gay for.

That is all.

I’m Fat. I need to lose weight. But I still love me. And if you give me a look of disgust, I don’t care. Your opinion of me makes no difference to my unconditional love for myself.

Hey Meliorist, how come I can’t tweet my TLFs? It’s 2013 get on that

Dear students of Engl 3700; do not let yourselves be silenced. The prof may think she can single you out, but there are others standing with you. Be respectful- but not submissive. @scared half to death twice…

You are then 1/4 alive obviously…

Vokey/Allen Fanfic. THIS. Just wanted to drop a line to thank all the waitresses at the Zoo! Jay, Kris, Selin, Jo (and the rest whose names I am unsure of) thanks for always greeting me with a smile I found the car that hit me so disregard that last post about the rear-end collision

VOTE YES! For a $2 levy fee increase

LOST (Feb13); If anyone stumbles across a green and yellow pencil case that has a green necklace and silver earrings in it. PLEASE bring it to security. You would be my savior.

Hey D2 guy, I benched 245 once, then I turned seven. Do you even lift bro?

I’m down for a nerdfighter meet up.

When and Where?

“You have to f*ck your way to peace” -Philosophy 2210 Know the bible: 1 Timothy 2:12 Leviticus 19:19; 25:44-46 Numbers 15:32-36 Exodus 21:7-8 Luke 12:51-53 Matthew 10:34 Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighbourhood Atheist Thank you to the random student in film studies who lent me a pencil after mine refused to sharpen. After 6 failed attempts, I was relieved to have someone kind around.

To the hot red head in race/ethnicity…..why you look sooo goooood!?!? if i were to ever travel through space and time….. i think i would want a vodka lime

TEACHING EXCELLENCE AWARDS Julia Adolf VP Acadmic The University of Lethbridge Students’ Union would like to formally recognize and honour teaching excellence at the University of Lethbridge. The Students’ Union aims to do this by offering students an avenue for nominating a professor, sessional staff or lab instructor who has shown outstanding efforts to improve the learning experience of their students.

All professors, sessional staff and lab instructors are equally eligible for this award. The ULSU Teaching Excellence Award is based solely on teaching excellence and will be presented to up to three instructors that meet the award criteria. The instructor must have taught during the academic year that the award is given. All undergraduate students are eligible to nominate an instructor

for the award. The nominator will be required to complete a letter of support outlining how the nominee has demonstrated outstanding efforts to improve the learning experiences of his or her students. The nomination form can be found at http://ULSU.ca/ index.php?p=6949. The nomination deadline is March 8, 2013 at 4:30 p.m. and must be dropped off at the StuAfter all nominations are collected the selection committee consisting of the ULSU Vice-president Academic, sembly, and three students-at-large, will decide which three instructors will receive this honour. The selection committee will do additional research on each candidate and in March the committee will decide which candidates will be receiving the award. The winners will be formally recognized as part of the ULSU Last Lecture event on April 17, 2013.

IGNITING A DISCUSSION ON POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION Shuna Talbot VP Internal Julia Adolf VP Academic

relaxing on beaches in Mexico or snowboarding in Aspen, we at the Students’ Union were hard at work in Edmonton. You’re welcome. The Council of Alberta University Students (CAUS), our provincial lobby group, along with the Alberta Students’ Executive Council (ASEC) and Graduate Students Association (GSA) hosted the Ignite conference Feb. 21 and Feb. 22.

The event began with opening remarks from Deputy Premier and Minister of Enterprise and Advanced Education, Thomas Lukaszuk welcoming everyone to the conference and emphasizing the importance of starting discussion around the future of postsecondary education. Phil Fontaine was the key note speaker during the reception and spoke of the importance of accessible post-secondary education for our students, with emphasis on our First Nations, Métis, and Inuit students.

The second day began bright and early at 8 a.m. when we rolled up our sleeves and began coming up with solutions revolving around

panel discussed access and costs of education. Immediately following the presentations, the conference divided into two breakout sessions, one regarding accessibility and the other focusing on education and our economy. This gave us, alongside faculty and other students, the opportunity to discuss solutions for these concerns. The second panel focused on the quality of research and teaching, which was organized and delivered by our very own Julia Adolf! She nailed it. The conversations following this panel revolved around balancing teaching and research, whether professional development regarding

teaching should be mandatory, and how we can encourage quality research. We had another discussion around Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) and Open Access, which the University of Lethbridge is already working towards. Closing remarks were made by Michael Janz emphasizing the importance of taking these conversations out to our community.

If you have any questions or would like more information about this conference please contact Julia at su.academic@uleth.ca or Shuna at su.internal@uleth.ca.

MAR 8 MAR12 MAR 15 MAR 18

International Women’s Day Galt Museum viewing gallery @ 6:00 pm to 10:00 pm

International Women’s Day University of lethbridge @ 10:00 am to 2:00 pm

test their logik concert @ 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm

bottle water free day Internationally all day

the

is

hiring

for the 2013/2014 school year!

Inquire or apply at einc@themeliorist.ca • Section Editors: • Photo Editor • Editor in Chief For • Creative Director • • Copy Editor These • Business Manager • Positions: • Production Manager • Webmaster • News/Campus Beat Features

• Advertising Manager

• Design Assistants

Entertainment

• Sports/Lifestyle

• Account

Representative

Email applications including cover letter, resume, and portfolios to:

einc@themeliorist.ca

Deadline: March 9, 2013 at midnight

the

meliorist

February 28, 2013 • 30

Jobs, jobs, jobs!

Let us introduce you to CES (Career & Employment Services). CES is a student service office dedicated to assisting you with your career and job search needs.

We’re within the Career Co-op Services office in AH154, along with Applied Studies and the Management and Arts & Science Cooperative Education programs. CCS office hours are 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. and 1 p.m.

– 4 p.m., Monday to Friday.

Go to our website for more detailed information on our services: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

Upcoming information sessions: University of Victoria ~ Master of Global Business Program Lethbridge campus: March 4, 12 p.m. – 1 p.m., AH116 Calgary campus: March 5, 4:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m., S6025 Edmonton campus: March 6, 4 p.m. – 5 p.m., AH101 Alumni House See all details and RSVP info at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/events.

Deloitte CA Recruitment & Interview Process Workshops ~ Cgy & Leth Campuses See all details and register at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

CMA/CGA ~ CPA designation discussion March 26, 6 p.m. – 8 p.m., AH118 RSVP at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/events.

Upcoming conference: Alberta Student Energy Networking Conference March 1, 2013 Telus Convention Centre, Calgary Details on our website at www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

Workshops to March 22 (to see full schedule and sign up go online to www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/workshops) CES resume/cover letter workshops: * Wednesday, March 6, 2 p.m. – 4:30 p.m. * Thursday, March 7, 10:50 a.m. – 1:20 p.m. * Tuesday, March 12, 10:50 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. * Monday, March 18, 3 p.m. – 5:30 p.m. * Thursday, March 21, 10:50 a.m. – 1:20 p.m.

Career exploration 101 workshops: * Wednesday, March 13, 2 p.m. – 4 p.m. * Tuesday, March 19, 10:50 a.m. – 12:50 p.m.

CES career portfolios for interviews workshops: * Monday, March 11, 3 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.

CES job search & networking workshops: * Friday, March 15, 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. * Wednesday, March 20, 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.

CES interview techniques workshops: * Thursday, March 14, 1:40 p.m. – 4 p.m. * Friday, March 22, 11 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.

Visit our website www.uleth.ca/ross/ces to find the CES online job board!

Full time • Underwriting Associate – Global Graduate Program, Cgy ~ Catlin Canada (Feb. 28) • Special Projects Manager, High Prairie ~ The MD of Big Lakes (March 1) • IT Manager, Blue River ~ Mike Wiegele Helicopter Skiing (March 1) • Business Development, Cgy ~ Xerox (Feb. 27) • Software Developer, Salmon Arm ~ USNR (March 1) • Project Coordinator ~ Netricom (Feb. 28) • Associate Sales Representative ~ Cargill (March 15) • Associate Grain Marketing Advisor ~ Cargill (March 15) • Associate Production Supervisor ~ Cargill (March 15) • Municipal/Urban Design Planner, Berwyn ~ Mackenzie Municipal Services Agency (March 2) • Management Trainee ~ Guillevin International (April 30) • Territory Manager/Consulting Agrologist, Regina/Moose Jaw ~ Ag Grow Consulting (Feb. 28) • Environmental Technicians ~ Hatfield Consultants (Feb. 28) • Sun Life Financial Advisor ~ Sun Life Financial (March 10) • Corporate Account Manager, Cgy ~ Lyreco (March 10) • Manager, Agronomic Services, Swift Current ~ Viterra (Feb. 28) • Synthetic Organic Chemist, North York ~ Toronto Research Chemicals (April 30) • Energy Sales Representative, Leth ~ Pareto (March 14) • Agronomist, Taber/Vauxhall/Brooks ~ Crop Production Services (March 15) • Crop Production Advisor, SK/AB ~ Crop Production Services (March 15) • YMCA Aquaatics Director, Leth ~ YMCA (March 16) • Agribusiness Assistant, AB/SK/MB ~ Richardson International (April 15) • Pricing Analyst, Cgy ~ Gibsons Energy (March 21) • Facilities & Operations Coordinator, Leth ~ U of L (March 1) • Administrative Support I (Sessional Position), Leth ~ U of L (Feb. 28) • Community Rehab Worker, Leth ~ Lethbridge Family Services (March 23) • Communications Coordinator, Leth ~ County of Lethbridge (March 8) • Infrastructure Design & Construction Coordinator, Leth ~ County of Lethbridge (March 15) • Residential Nurse, Cgy ~ Woods Homes (March 24) • Junior Project Manager, Cgy/Sherwood Park ~ RCGI (March 24) Temporary • Deloitte National Leadership Conference, Cgy ~ Deloitte (March 22) • Human Resources Intern, Cgy ~ Lafarge (Feb. 28) • Sales Associate, Leth ~ FGL Sports Ltd (March 6) • Stampede Adult Supervisor, Cgy ~ Boys & Girls Clubs of Cgy (March 15) • Promotional Representative, Edm/Cgy ~ InField Marketing (March 15) • Intermediate Soil Scientist, Regina/Saskatoon ~ Stantec Consulting (March 16) • Admin Support, Leth ~ Career Transitions (Feb. 28)

• •

Reservations Manager, Blue River ~ Mike Wiegele Helicopter Skiing (April 26) Human Resources Generalist, Leth ~ Lethbridge Iron Works (March 23)

Summer postings • Dining Hall Steward, Beaver Mines ~ Bert Sheppard Scout Reserve (March 31) • Park Workers/Park Patrollers, Vancouver ~ MetroVancouver (Feb. 28) • Property Assessment Data Collector, Taber ~ Municipal District of Taber (March 15) • Chess Ambassador/Chess Educator, Med Hat ~ Med Hat Chess Society (March 8) • Summer Camp Counsellor, Bragg Creek ~ Easter Seals Camp Horizon (March 31) • Wetland Naturalist, Creston ~ Creston Valley Wildlife Management Area (March 1) • Vegetation Management Field Assistant; Historical Resources Program Leader; Natural Resources Program Leader; Public Program Assistant, Cochrane ~ Glenbow Ranch Park Foundation (March 4) • European Corn Bore Technician, Taber ~ Lucerne Foods (Feb. 27) • Parks Maintenance Operators, Didsbury ~ Town of Didsbury (March 25) • Travel Counsellor; Cashier; Interpretive Guide; Shuttle Bus Driver; Gift Shop Clerk ~ Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump (March 28) • U.S. Commercial Service Intern, Cgy ~ U.S. Department of Commerce (March 1) • Summer Term Agriculture Research Assistant, Taber ~ Ag-Quest (March 1) • Production Intern ~ Cargill (March 15) • Research Technicians, Fort Saskatchewan ~ ICMS (March 2) • Weed Inspectors, Flatbrush ~ MD of Lesser Slave River (March 4) • Summer Swim Coach, Fort MacLeod ~ Sharks Swim Club (April 30) • Industrial Herbicide Applicator, Red Deer ~ Renu-L-Tech (March 9) • Summer Ambassador, Cgy/Edm ~ Recycling Council of Alberta (March 9) • Program Coordinator; Outdoor Educator; Summer Maintenance; Camp Counsellor; Lifeguard; Cook; Assistant Cook, Sylvan Lake ~ Camp Kannawin (March 12) • Clubhouse Staff, Leth ~ Henderson Lake Golf Club (March 13) • Summer Historical Interpreter ~ Alberta Historical Sites (March 22) • QB/AB Student Exchange Program ~ Alberta Human Services (Feb. 28) • Environmental Student, Dawson Creek ~ Encana (March 3) • Summer Employment – Alberta Environment, AB ~ Government of Alberta (March 1) • Summer Student Accounting/Internal Audit, Cgy ~ Trican Well Service Ltd. (March 16) • Summer Sales Route Rep, Leth ~ PepsiCo Foods Canada (March 16) • Seasonal Operations Staff ~ Viterra (March 13) • Historical Interpreter, Crowsnest Pass ~ Frank Slide Interpretive Centre (March 8) • Visitor Services Assistant, Waterton ~

• •

• • • • • • • • • • •

Parks Canada (March 1) Student – Building Technician ~ SNC – Lavalin Operations & Maintenance (March 15) Guest Services Rep; Campground and Hospitality; Security Personnel; Revenue Auditor/Cash Control Clerk; General Maintenance Worker; Grounds Maintenance, Cgy ~ Calaway Park (March 15) Agronomy Student; Agribusiness Student, AB/SK ~ Richardson International (April 15) Teacher Counselor Instructor, Cgy/Van ~ Wynchemna (March 18) Alberta Student Ministerial Interns, Edm/Cgy ~ Government of Alberta (March 1) Giftshop Sales Associate, Drumheller ~ Royal Tyrrell Museum (April 30) Healthy U Promotional Team Member, Cgy ~ DDB Canada (March 24) Trait Development Associate, Leduc/Saskatoon ~ Bayer CropScience (March 15) Marketing/PR Internship, Cgy ~ Live Out There Inc (April 30) Environmental Student, Cgy ~ Cenovus (March 17) Watershed Outreach Assistant, Red Deer ~ Red Deer River Watershed Alliance (March 8) Technical Support Student – Pulp Division, Whitecourt ~ Millar Western Forest Products (March 31) Visitor Facilities Attendant (Cleaner), Waterton Park ~ Parks Canada (March 8)

Part time • Disability Services Worker, Leth ~ Quest Support Services (Feb. 28) • Youth Worker, Cgy ~ Boys & Girls Clubs of Cgy (March 15) • Guest Services, Cgy ~ Butterfield Acres Farm (May 1) International • English Teacher ~ Ameson Education & Cultural Exchange Foundation (April 10) • Overseas Teaching, China ~ Make A Future (Feb. 28) • China Internship Program ~ CRCC Asia (March 15) • Children’s Camps; Au Pair; Daycare Jobs; Teaching English; Hotel/Hospitality & Cooking ~ Scotia Personnel (March 14) • Teach English in South Korea ~ Avalon English (March 15) • Youth Ambassador – Ghana 2013 ~ Youth Challenge International (March 15) • Youth Ambassador Guyana ~ Youth Challenge International (March 15) • Teach English in South Korea ~ Eagle Consulting (April 15) • China Internship, Beijing/Shanghai ~ CISC Global (March 22) • Financial Analyst Internship, Beijing/Shanghai ~ CISC Global (March 22) • Legal Internships, Beijing/Shanghai ~ CISC Global (March 22) • Teach, Travel and Earn Money! No experience required ~ Aclipse (March 24) For details of the postings and information on the application processes, go to www.uleth.ca/ross/ces/job-board.

Hard

Easy

Try to find this pronghorn in this week’s issue of the Meliorist. E-mail the page number and a brief description of where you found it to einc@themeliorist.ca. You will be entered to win our monthly pronghorn draw. You can enter as many times in the month as we publish.

Jokes Q: How do you know you are a true stoner?

A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes!

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?

A: Malnutrition.

Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? A: Wave.

Two hippies are walking down a railroad track stoned. One hippie says "This is a really long fucking staircase!" The other hippie says "I don't mind the stairs, it's this low fucking handrail that’s killing me."

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.