Volume 45, Issue 6 by The Meliorist Publishing Society

For the week of Thursday, October 6 â&#x20AC;˘ Volume 45, Issue 6

Campus beat

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October 6, 2011 • 2

Janet Barriage Campus Reporter For more information on contributing to Campus Beat, please contact Janet Barriage, campus.beat@themeliorist.ca

What’s happening on the “Beat” If you want to see your event posted in the “Beat,” please contact campus.beat@ themeliorist.ca for more information. Events must be submitted by Friday evening to appear in the following issue of the Meliorist. Oktoberfest Oct. 6 12 p.m. to 5 p.m. at the Grove The ULSU is hosting an Oktoberfest party in the Grove. Admission is free and there will be beer gardens, outdoor games, a DJ, and as many lederhosen as we can find! For more information, contact su.internal@uleth.ca New Media Film Series: The Social Network Oct. 6 6:30 p.m. at the Lethbridge Public Library Photographer Don Gill will speak in Art Now Oct. 7 12 p.m. in the Recital Hall Thanksgiving Day University closed Oct. 10 Women Scholars Speaker Series fall wine and cheese night Oct. 11 2 to 4:30pm in Andy’s Place (AH100) U-Pass Referendum Oct. 12 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. in the U Hall Atrium Fall 2011 Convocation Ceremony Oct. 15 Starts at 10 a.m. in the 1st Choice Savings Centre Gymnasium Open Mic Night Oct. 19 5:30 to 11 p.m. at The Zoo Humans vs. Zombies Oct. 24 - 28 Everywhere The third annual Humans vs. Zombies game Halloween Cabaret Oct. 29 9 p.m. at The Zoo

Let the library do the heavy lifting The Writing Centre Janet Barriage Campus Beat The University of Lethbridge’s library is an awesome place to get things done. You can meet with your group in one of its many group rooms, as long as you book it beforehand. I have even booked one of the rooms for myself just so I could spread out my books and play loud music; excellent study space! Obviously the library is great for research and quiet time. The free computers and a place to charge your computer aren’t too bad either. Also, did you know that you can borrow movies, CDs, and records from the library? These are just the tip of this massive academic iceberg. My personal favourite and least-

tapped resource of the library is the Writing Centre that is located in room L1012 across from the General Service desk in the library. They offer help from an instructor with years of experience teaching writing for individuals and groups working on a class project. You can get help on an essay, report, or other writing assignments. They typically only offer two Writing Centre appointments per project. I recommend not only bringing in a hardcopy of your assignment but also a specific paragraph that you want help with. They won’t look over your whole 15-page paper, but they will look at your introduction and tease out some of the problems; chances are the

problems you had there you also had everywhere else! I didn’t use the Writing Centre for the first half of my degree, but once I hit those 4000 level classes with massive papers, it saved the day. I recommend using it before you reach the breaking point. Just answering the questions they ask you about your paper will make you a better writer, not to mention the amazing paper you will write after visiting them! The fall and spring semester hours are as follows: Monday and Wednesday: 9:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. 4:00 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday: 9:00 a.m.

- 12:00 p.m. and 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. Friday: 9:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. and 1:00 p.m. - 3:30 p.m. You will have to visit their website to book an appointment at http:// fusion.uleth.ca/crdc/writing_ services/. Email writing.centre@ uleth.ca if you have any questions, but I recommend just booking an appointment and asking in person! Make sure you book early though because it can get busy, and two days before your deadline is a rough time to be turned away. Good luck!

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Campus beat

October 6, 2011 • 3

Looking out for you The Campus Women’s Centre Emma Ladouceur Co-Coordinator

The Campus Women’s Centre was founded in 1998. Many other prominent campuses across the country already had a women’s centre, and the students at the University of Lethbridge recognized that it was a valuable and necessary service. The centre is run entirely by students – almost all of them volunteers – and, as with any student-run group, the changeover rate is very high. Every year sees a new governing body and cocoordinators, which are the only two paid positions, and with each new group comes new vision, goals, and presence. Regardless of the group in question, however, the Women’s Centre’s main objective always is to bring awareness, and ultimately an end, to discrimination and oppression. Discrimination and oppression, obviously, are not exclusive only to women. Thus the centre is anti-sexism, anti-racism, antiheterosexism, anti-ageism, antiableism, anti-sizeism, etc. As negative as all those antis sound, the centre is based on a positive message of respect. Engaging in activism not solely related to “women’s issues,” it might seem as though “Women’s” Centre is something of a misnomer. And certainly that could be argued, but it must be recognized that everything the centre does is with a feminist understanding. Please note that feminism is not restricted to bra-burning, manhating lesbians. In fact, most feminists cringe at such stereotypes. Yes, such individuals do exist – and many have done much good for the cause – but they are not the standard by which all feminists should be based. Feminists come in all forms and direct their energies in all directions. If you believe

all people are equal, and if you resist the idea that men should have power over women, you are probably a feminist (even if you are a man!). And that revelation is one of the main focuses for this year’s governing body. We hope to clear up some of the myths and misconceptions surrounding the centre and feminism in general. We would like to build stronger relationships with more individuals, groups, clubs, and organizations on campus and throughout the city. Only by working together on projects, events, and campaigns can we ever hope to bring about any significant change. On a less abstract but just as important level, the centre offers a number of free services to anyone who comes in. If you need someone to talk to or are wondering where to access other services, we do casual peer counselling and referrals. If you are doing research or want more information on a variety of subjects, we have an extensive pamphlet collection and a resource library from which you can check out books. If you need somewhere to study or hang out between classes, we have tea, coffee, a microwave, and what are reported to be the most comfortable couches on campus. If you need condoms (including non-latex), dental dams, pads, tampons, Instead cups, or sterile needles, we have you covered. These services are free for all students thanks to a $1 tuition levy and the fundraising efforts of our volunteers. If anyone has any questions, concerns, ideas, or is interested in volunteering or joining the collective, we strongly encourage them to come visit us in SP150 (in the hallway between the PE and SU buildings at the end of the tunnel) or send us an e-mail at womens. centre@uleth.ca.

The Historical Undergrad Society The new T.H.U.G.S on campus Janet Barriage Campus Beat

The Historical Undergrad Society (or T.H.U.G.S.) is open to all students with an interest in history. It is a great way for students to meet people with similar interests. This year they are planning to have approximately 80 members that will take part in all that T.H.U.G.S has to offer. The club will be very active on campus with many great social and academic activities planned this year. These will include peer editing, workshops, guest lectures, and day trips to historical sites. The club hopes to host a movie night, game night, and possibly even a historical themed ball. If you are interested in joining, you can e-mail the historical undergrad society at history.club@ uleth.ca

Photo Credit: Victoriano Lázaro Gutiérrez

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October 6, 2011 • 4

Sara Parkin News Editor For more information on contributing to News, please contact Sara Parkin, n.editor@themeliorist.ca

U-Pass debate is heating up U-Pass referendum set for end of October

Sara Parkin News Editor

Online voting for the U-Pass referendum will open on Oct. 24 and continue until Oct. 26; don't forget to make your voice heard and your opinion count. If you were on campus last year, you likely heard talk of the U-Pass bouncing around these hallowed halls. While the topic has been widely discussed in the past, the UPass debate is about to start heating up. On Sept. 21, the ULSU General Assembly voted to send a proposal for a new universal bus pass, the UPass, to referendum. The decision to hold a referendum came after 77 per cent of respondents of the ULSU Year in Review survey told the Students’ Union to look into the U-Pass.

“It came up a lot on campus last year, obviously because transportation costs are rising, not only for public transit; as you know, bus prices have been rising quite substantially in the last few years; but also for the drivers. Parking passes have been going up, they will continue to go up in future years. Gasoline prices are very volatile and there’s no sense of security there. So, I think the campus needs to have the debate on transportation issues now,” ULSU President Zack Moline said in an interview with the Meliorist. The U-Pass went to a referendum and was defeated five years ago. In October of 2006, students were asked two questions: “Do you agree to the increase of student fees by $52.50* per semester (fall and spring semesters only) in order to obtain a city wide bus pass (U-Pass) for all undergraduate students registered in one or more courses at the Lethbridge Campus? (*the current cost of a one month adult bus pass)” and “To avoid the cost of a future referendum, do you agree to allow future increase to the cost of the U-Pass, as long as the per semester fee never exceeds the cost of a one month adult bus pass?” The proposal for this year’s U-Pass referendum differs from that which was seen in 2006 in a few key ways. The current U-Pass proposal now

includes an opt out for certain students, “It’s for anybody who is on practicum, whether for Education or Health Sciences, where it’s outside of the city, also outside of the service area; anybody who lives outside of Lethbridge and commutes in… And then there is an opt out for students on distance learning, as well,” Moline explained. He continued on to say, “The second difference from the last time this went to referendum is that this is just for a one year term; so the way it will work then is if students accept this and it passes this referendum, it will come in place in Fall 2012 and only last for a year, but there will be a referendum in February of 2013 on whether or not to make it permanent. Essentially, the idea around that was just to give students an idea of whether or not they would actually use the program if it’s in place.” The final way in which the new U-Pass proposal differs from five years ago is the per semester cost to students. The U-Pass would see an increase in student fees of $77.50 per semester, and in exchange, each student who was not eligible for an opt out would receive a universal, city-wide bus pass. The cost of the new proposed U-Pass is higher than it was in 2006 because the price of the U-Pass is tied to the price of an adult monthly bus pass.

The number of students who cast a ballot in the 2006 referendum, nearly 63 per cent of the total 7,048 eligible voters, can be seen to be quite high when compared to referendums that took place in years prior. The higher voter turnout in the previous referendum and continued debate on the U-Pass issue are signs of a student body with a vested interest in the outcome of the upcoming vote. There are students on both side of the issue, but where does the ULSU stand? Moline said that the Students’ Union is “strictly neutral” on the U-Pass referendum. In the past, the ULSU has been known to take a vocal stance when it comes to certain issues that go to a referendum vote, such as the case of the fee referendum last year when the Students’ Union spearheaded the “Yes” campaign to have fees tied to CPI. Moline explained the ULSU’s neutral stance by saying, “We understand that there are potentials for a lot of benefits, but we also see that this may harm some students, so we want students to fully decide and be unhindered by our position on this issue… It’s a substantial amount of money... and we see that there are two sides to the issue and we don’t want to be influencing students’ opinions on it. We want them to decide. We believe in democracy.” If students are looking to get informed before they cast their ballot,

there are a number of different ways to do it. “We’ll do a basic promotional campaign; so, we’ll have posters up, ad space on the TVs around school, Facebook, Twitter, it’ll be all over there; strictly informational, though, from our end. We’ll also be holding three town halls… We scheduled around different class times, so that hopefully all the students can come out and participate in the debate,” Moline said. The first town hall was held on Oct. 4 in the U Hall Atrium; there are two more to follow with one on Oct. 12 at noon and another on Oct. 18 at 5 p.m., also in the U Hall Atrium. Moline explained how the town halls will work by saying, “Someone from Lethbridge Transit will explain the program that we’ve agreed to, and we’ll take questions on that for a brief period of time, factual questions as to what entails in the program, and then we’re literally just going to open it up to the floor for students to speak… The majority of the town hall will just be students debating the merits of it.” The U-Pass has been a hot topic for quite some time and it is up to the students to decide what they ultimately want in regards to their transportation needs. Online voting for the U-Pass referendum will open on Oct. 24 and continue until Oct. 26; don’t forget to make your voice heard and your opinion count!

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news

October 6, 2011 • 5

Ad runs afoul of Canadian readers Meg Johnston News Writer

Questions still unanswered in Hebert abduction Peter Goertzen News Writer

On a Tuesday night, Sept. 6, 2011, Kienan Hebert was put to bed on the second floor of his upscale family home in Sparwood (the town probably most famous for the world’s largest truck), only to be discovered to be missing on Wednesday morning. Five days later, at 3 a.m. on Sept. 11, he was back home, sleeping on the couch. On Sept. 9, two days after it was realized that Kienan was missing, the police issued an Amber Alert on the case, identifying the sole suspect of the supposed abduction as Randall Hopley. They described his car and also the license plate number in hopes that Kienan would be found. The Hebert residence was subsequently surrounded with police tape and declared a crime scene. The Hebert family temporarily stayed at a neighbouring residence. Kienan’s dad, Paul, left the door to the house unlocked before he left.

On Sept. 10 the Hebert family issued a plea on TV for the safe return of their son, hoping the abductor would do so. On Sept. 11 at 3 a.m., an anonymous 911 call told dispatch that Kienan was safely back at home. Two days later, the “sole suspect” Randall Hopley was arrested at a gravel pit close to a bible camp. Why is this story relevant today, nearly a month after the incident? Chiefly, because there are many questions that have remained unanswered. For one, why was Randall Hopley immediately a suspect in the case? This question has not been answered directly. According to a CTV British Columbia news report, “RCMP Cpl. Dan Moskaluk declined to say what led police to issue an Amber Alert targeting Hopley.” Could there not have been other perpetrators? Especially since no evidence is linked to Hopley. Hopley does have a criminal record, recently accused of break and enter, theft, and assault of a woman outside a library. In 1985 he was

convicted of sexual assault. Findings at his residence and the cabin where he hid out reportedly revealed sex toys, various lubricants, children’s underwear, children’s movies, etc. These, of course, were found after the incident. They do strongly suggest that Hopley is the kind of person likely to commit a crime similar to the one for which he is accused. However, no evidence (fingerprints, etc.) has turned up (according to media reports), even though he allegedly abducted Kienan and then brought him back to the same house. Lack of released incriminating evidence suggests there could be another perpetrator. If the house was intentionally left unlocked after the incident and before the return of Kienan (though Paul Hebert didn’t mention whether or not he did that under the guidance of the police), why was there no lookout at the house at all times, especially considering that the house was not surrounded by any other residences?

As an article in the Calgary Sun states, “If the police had any preemptive hint of the child’s return, they aren’t saying. Indeed, the RCMP aren’t saying much of anything, testily dodging questions about police tactics at Sunday’s press conference.” Maybe the police have declined to comment because they are still investigating the case. Maybe they choose to remain ambiguous so that if they have someone else in mind, no statement issued would allow for the suspect to find out and subsequently escape. Hopefully what really happened will come out in court. In that case, all the general population can do is wait for Hopley’s next court appearance on Nov. 9; until that time, Hopley will be under psychiatric assessment. Then, he will appear at a Pincher Creek court to select a day for the preliminary inquiry. Looking at examples of other cases, the case of Hebert’s abduction could last quite a while.

The National Post is taking heat after running an advertisement from the Institute for Canadian Values. “Please! Don’t confuse me,” it reads. “I’m a girl. Don’t teach me to question if I’m a boy, transexual, trangendered [sic], intersexed or two spirited.” A doe-eyed little girl looks out forlornly from the ad, which suggests that the Ontario school curriculum is forcing trans issues on teachers, students and parents. The specific objections were aimed at the teaching of students in the third grade or lower about transgender/transexual/ intersexed/two-spirited issues. The Institute for Canadian Values ran this ad with the sponsorship of Charles McVety, an evangelical Christian leader with a wellpublicized history of anti-LGBT lobbying. McVety also approached another newspaper with material regarding his campaign against the curriculum, but was turned down. Besides being labelled as intolerant, transphobic and offensive, the ad has come under criticism for being exploitative of children and misleading. Quotes from the curriculum in the advertisement appear to be aimed primarily at sexist language, stereotypical gender roles, and tolerance. It also states that teachers are not obligated to inform parents before starting work on LGBTQ issues, and that children cannot opt out of Human Rights Education (which includes LGBTQ issues) for religious reasons. The context in which these statements were made in the curriculum has not been clarified. As with any such debate, issues of free speech have also been stirred up. Comments on Twitter and on the National Post’s Facebook page have suggested that no apology was necessary, and the paper has also stated that they do not wish to stifle free speech simply because of dissent. This argument has come under fire as many quote the Canadian Code of Advertising Standards, which disallows unacceptable depictions and portrayals, including discrimination. This is a subject that lends itself well to controversy. When questions arise about children’s exposure to material that parents may find objectionable, people are quick to act. In Alberta, Bill 44 granted equal rights and freedoms to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons with the caveat that children did not have to be taught about LGBT issues in school. The question becomes even more complicated, though, when the objectionable material is the mere discussion of people who are different. The National Post issued an apology on Sept. 30, stating that “In an open society, these positions are worthy of being part of a debate on this issue … Where the ads exceeded the bounds of civil discourse was in their tone and manipulative use of a picture of a young girl; in the suggestion that such teaching ‘corrupts’ children, with everything that such a charge implies; and in their singling out of groups of people with whose sexuality the group disagrees.” They have stated that all proceeds from the advertisement will be donated to a yet-unnamed organization promoting LGBT rights.

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6 • October 6, 2011

Sisters in Spirit Vigil Tarra Wright-Many Chief News Writer

On October 4, 2011 the fifth annual Sisters in Spirit Vigil was held in Lethbridge’s Galt Gardens. The purpose of this event was to bring awareness to the increasing numbers of missing and murdered aboriginal women across Canada. This year the Lethbridge Sisters in Spirit Vigil was hosted by Aboriginal Council of Lethbridge, YWCA, KAIROS, City of Lethbridge, Lethbridge Regional Police Service, Blood Tribe/Kainai, Holy Spirit Catholic School, CMARD, NWAC, Young Medicine, and Amnesty International Lethbridge. Young aboriginal women are five times more likely to die as a result of violence and aboriginal women are three and a half times more likely to become victims of sexual assault

and domestic violence than their non-aboriginal counterpart. As a result of the increasing numbers of missing and murdered aboriginal woman the Native Woman’s Association of Canada (NWAC) started the Sister in Spirit Initiative in 2005; this initiative works to gather research, as well as to help raise public awareness about the high rates of violence against aboriginal woman and the impact violence has had on the aboriginal community. In response to the increasing incidences of violence against Aboriginal women and girls that has resulted in disappearance or death, Amnesty International released the No More Stolen Sisters Report: Response to Discrimination and Violence Against Indigenous Women in Canada in October of 2004. This report called on

Canadian authorities to help end violence against Aboriginal women and girls through the development of a nation-wide plan of action, but since the publication of this report little has changed. As of March 31, 2010 the NWAC Sisters in Spirit database had gathered information regarding more than 580 missing or deceased Aboriginal women and girls within Canada. In 2010 the Native Woman’s Association of Canada issued its research report and concluded that there were an extremely high number of missing and murdered Aboriginal women and girls within Canada. Between 2000 and 2008 there was a total of 153 cases of murder that have been identified through the database, which is ten per cent of the total number of female murders in Canada. This is staggeringly high considering that

the female Aboriginal population only makes up three per cent of the total female population in Canada. The NWAC concluded from its research that “the intergenerational impact and resulting vulnerabilities of colonization and state policessuch as residential school, the ‘60s Scoop, and the child welfare system are underlying factors in the outcome of violence experienced by Aboriginal women and girls.” The 2010 Sisters in Spirit Research findings also concluded that two thirds of the cases of missing and murdered women were occurring in the western provinces: British Columbia, Alberta, Manitoba, and Saskatchewan. In addition to this, the research found that the majority of missing and murdered women and girls were under the age of 31, and that 88 per cent were mothers or grandmothers that left behind

their children and grandchildren. Lastly, the Sister in Spirit Initiative concluded that on a national level 53 per cent of murder cases have resulted in charges of homicide being laid, but that there still have not been charges laid in 40 per cent of the cases. The Sisters in Spirit Vigil helps create awareness to about the importance of stopping violence against Aboriginal women and girls. For more information regarding the Sister in Spirit Initiative and No More Stolen Sisters: Discrimination and Violence Against Indigenous Women in Canada go to: http:// www.nwac.ca/ and http://www. amnesty.ca/campaigns/sisters_ overview.php.

‘Young people are not on the agenda’

Rick Mercer’s message to youth: casting a ballot will force politicians to care

Jane Lytvynenko

The Fulcrum (University of Ottawa)

OTTAWA (CUP) — Rick Mercer, Canadian comedian, producer, and an avid advocate of the youth vote is at it again. In an interview with the Fulcrum, and in light of upcoming provincial elections, Mercer once again encouraged youth to take to the polls when the opportunity

arises. “It’s a consistent message that I’ve always been shouting into the wind: That everyone should vote,” said Mercer. “That includes young people. “More importantly, young people should be aware of the fact that not only [do] they vote in low numbers, but that political parties, at best, pay lip service to encourage young

people to vote and they’re all guilty of being happy when they don’t vote.” Mercer said there are consequences to students not voting, as politicians tend to ignore those who don’t cast a ballot. “There [are] so many issues that are affecting young people that are not getting the attention they deserve because the vast people involved in politics aren’t university students, so [the politicians] don’t care,” he said. “The second that young voters start to get engaged and vote in great numbers, you’re going to see a cataclysmic shift in provincial politics and federal politics because suddenly they’ll pay attention to [students].” According to Mercer, Canadians often have many options when it comes to political parties. Those choices are often very different, accommodating a wide variety of political views. “If someone says that there’s no difference between [party] A and

[party] B, they’re simply wrong. It’s like arguing that apples and oranges are the same thing,” said Mercer. He acknowledges there are ways in which politicians are alike even though they stand for different things. Many are guilty of oversimplifying complex issues, which is a tactic voters should be on the lookout for. “At election time, people like to convince everyone that there are simple solutions to complicated problems. We would never believe someone who says, ‘Oh, I have a real simple solution to a very complicated health problem.’ We just know that’s not the way the world works,” said Mercer. “Usually, there’s complicated solutions to complicated problems.” Mercer said that’s why students should research the issues that matter to them and cast a wellinformed ballot. The election and its participants should be followed closely, even if reading the coverage can sometimes be boring. “There’s always going to be people

that say [the election] is boring. Well, sometimes the important things in life are boring,” said Mercer. However, he does not think that’s the case for Ontario’s Oct. 6 election. “I don’t think this election is boring. You have two parties who are essentially tied in the polls — there’s a very good chance there could be a change of government. It’s not like someone is scripting it to make it more interesting,” he explained. Political participation remains one of Mercer’s most consistent pleas. He believes the easiest and most effective way to bring youth issues to light is to cast a ballot on Oct. 6. “Young people are not on the agenda. They think that they are, but they’re not,” said Mercer. “At the end of the day, the decisions are made by the voters. If you don’t show up on election day, they’ll continue to ignore the needs of students. That’s how the system works.”

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October 6, 2011 • 7

Matt Baird Features Editor

The Greatest Zombie Movies

The dead walk!

For more information on contributing to Features, please contact Matt Baird, f.editor@themeliorist.ca

How to survive the low-key zombie shamblocalypse

Ascending or descending order of greatness would not apply here. They’re all pretty great. So here is the Meliorist’s alphabetically arranged zombie film list. Enjoy. Army of Darkness (1992) – Bruce Campbell is a fast talking, shotgun wielding bad-ass sent back in time to defeat the army of the undead throwing itself at a fair maiden’s castle, after being resurrected by his incompetence. While technically the third instalment in the Evil Dead series, it works just fine as a standalone picture. Check out the first two though, they’re both excellent. Dawn of the Dead (1974/2004) – Watch one, watch the other, and watch them both at the same time. Survivors get trapped in the sanctum of American security, the shopping mall, and are attacked by zombies. They must escape while telling a heart-warming tale dealing with consumerism, death, apocalyptic survival, and gore. Dead Alive (1992) – Before he was directing hobbits, he directed zombies. Peter Jackson demonstrates why you should never go near Sumatran ratmonkeys, and why zombies and slapstick are hilarious. Censored in some countries as one of the goriest films of all time, including decimation of partying zombies with a lawnmower. Get the 97-minute unedited release, and enjoy. Night of the Living Dead (1968) – The widely accepted start of the phenomenon. Watch it. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) – Regarded as one of the worst movies of all time, and actually inspired a Seinfeld episode, as well as an infamous Rifftrax commentary, the film is actually about aliens reanimating dead humans. Not that you can tell from watching the movie. Shaun of the Dead (2004) – The widely accepted best parody of the phenomenon. A romantic comedy with zombies, Edgar Wright deals with love, loss, pubs, and friendship in a very funny movie. Also check out Hot Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World by the same director. Less zombies, just as awesome. Zombieland (2009) – A modern comedy about surviving the end of the world, and why Twinkies are so goddamned hard to find because of it. Props to Bill Murray, the highlight cameo of this funny, funny zombie movie.

Matt Baird

Features Op-Ed

Ah, the zombie walk. If dressing up like the shambling undead and parading through your local municipality doesn’t sound like a good time, I’m not sure what is. Zombie walk is a response to the current pop culture obsession: in this case zombies. Rivalling vampires for pop culture supernatural superiority, zombies are the omnipresent joie-de-mort that people love emulating, watching, reading, and preparing for. The apocalyptic scenario involving zombies has become so engrained in the human psyche that any other end-of-the-world possibility will come at great disappointment. Can you imagine if you ended up in an oil-free Mad Max style hell? Or maybe a techno-centric Terminatorstyle fight for survival? Of course not, they are both very silly. But the undead rising due to a virus that mutates cellular death, Dawn of the Dead style? If you thought for a moment that this is a reasonable thing to happen, well, then the

zombie walk is for you. The fact is, people like the idea of hellish, soulless ghouls murdering a large amount of the human population and then shutting down the world. From romantic comedies to how-to manuals, comic books to historical re-adaptations, zombies can be easily submitted as antagonists in any scenario. Need two characters to bond? Have them escape from zombies. Need an overpowering for that world government? Zombies. Need to impress the girl and get married? Z-to-the-Ombies. They work as both a social and individual threat, one with which anyone can identify, and most importantly, they are a foe without fear. Fear, after all, is a natural response to a threat. When faced with an impossible foe, even villains normally exhibit a bit of timidity. Zombies sure as heck don’t. They’ll shamble on to their heart’s pulseless content, never stopping, never slowing, and never showing mercy to their prey. And so, to honour our superior and terrifying fictional foe, people dress up in their likeness in an attempt

to pacify the collective human consciousness to the looming impossible threat. Ireland especially has a need to mash this morbid mortification fixation: an estimated 8,000 people showed up in costume

after the walk for the “Night Club of the Living Dead” after party. You costume creators will be judged on your zombie prowess, prizes will be awarded, and the collective Saturday night Studio regulars will look on

to try and break the Guinness World Record for the largest zombie walk. Your local event occurs this Saturday, starting at Galt Garden at 8:00, and moving to Studio 54

in wonder and slight discomfort, although the local necrophiles will have the best Saturday ever!

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Features

meliorist

8 • October 6, 2011

Bill C-32 ver. 2: Electric Boogaloo A fresh new number on an old bill Matt Baird

Features Editor

Bill C-11, for those of you who do not pay attention to every breaking story involving copyright law, is a rehashing to the letter of the Conservative Government’s previous attempt to amend Canadian copyright law, Bill C-32. And by rehashing, I mean exactly the same as the previous bill, to the point that if it had been copyrighted, it would illegal under the amended legislation. Canadian copyright law was originally drafted when the hippest new technology news was VHS vs. Betamax, copying songs off of the radio onto cassette tapes was one of the more popular ways to make a mixed tape, and recording of live sporting events was frowned upon. After Kazaa and Napster, after the rise of Apple and the demise of the CD, and far before streaming downloads, Netflix, iTunes, The Pirate Bay, Bit Torrent, and every other means we have of acquiring media, changes to copyright law are a good thing: new media requires protection and rules to govern it, just as old media did. We don’t want works

from our beloved artists, directors, and writers being stolen left and right, or reused without proper credit paid where credit is due. That being said, many of the approaches introduced in Bill C-11 are more knee-jerk reactions from American groups such as the MPAA and RIAA, not necessarily well thought out means to curb both piracy and illegal use of content. Ever heard of a digital lock? It’s a fancy word for Digital Rights Management, or DRM. Circumvention of these locks allow for the copying or downloading of many of the digital content we know and love. The problem with Bill C-11 is that any and all violation of a digital lock will be illegal. While the bill does allow the uploading of legitimately purchased media onto your computer or media device of choice, if a movie or music distributor decides to include a digital lock on the upload, you’re out of luck. If you use a PVR and the network includes a code that forces the deletion of your downloaded content after a certain amount of time, you’re not allowed to circumvent it; that’s a digital lock. If a distributor demands a fee so

you can upload content onto your computer, even if you own the movie or album, you must pay it; doing otherwise would be breaking a digital lock. This causes a whole bundle of problems for the fair-use of content, and use of content for public and educational ends. Without an amendment to the current law, any use of clips, stills, or segments of copyrighted video in the classroom is illegal; it would be a circumvention of a digital lock to do so. To quote the Film Studies Association of Canada, this could be solved by “a non-restrictive fair use exception.” This means that classrooms, libraries, and other educational bodies would be able to show “legitimately purchased, commercially available videos in classrooms and other educational contexts.” As it stands now, educational bodies must continuously pay fees to the companies that own the rights to these films. In Canada, the two main companies, Audio Cine and Criterion, provide costly rights to major U.S. distributors’ releases. Unfortunately, “these companies no longer provide a service; rather,

because copyright law in Canada does not allow for educational fair use, they sell blanket site licenses to Canadian universities, basically making money through a provision in the law.” While you would think that this would be a simple fix for the Conservative Government – indeed, it was suggested at the original hearings for Bill C-32 – Bill C-11 ignored this and other suggestions to eliminate problems with educational institutions

violating the sanctity of digital locks. While the government plans on having the bill pushed through the House by Christmas, the opposition cites the problems with the bill as is, and demands recognition of the suggested changes to Bill C-32. Unless those changes are done, the various committees and discussions on Bill C-32 will have simply been a waste of time and money.

Bibliophile Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons Kelti Boissonneault Features Bibliophile

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not really into graphic novels. Recently my significant other has been pushing these dopey little comic books on me, and out of politeness I start to read them. Then I figure out I can’t put them down. After running through a few issues of Gotham Central, then onto a few Superman issues, I’ve discovered a new medium that has often been heralded as “geeky” and “nerdy” and mocked relentlessly in the locker-rooms of North America for decades. What is surprising is that these comics are good. So good, in fact, that often it’s difficult to put them down and get some sleep. Not only do you have the print right in front

of you, but you have images that illustrate what the characters look like, their facial expressions, and you get a lot of beautiful action without text at all. It’s a very interesting way to look at a novel if, like me, you’ve previously only ever read the massive volumes chock full of text. So a few weeks after I devour the first issues of Gotham Central, I am handed Watchmen. I’ve seen the movie, so I know roughly what it is about. It’s a cool concept with interesting and dynamic characters who like to pretend they are heroes. Admittedly, when I watched the film I didn’t really understand the character of the Comedian; I thought he was just a dick. Reading the novel, however, sheds a whole new light onto the situation of these heroes, and gives the reader

amazing insight into the dark, winding psyche of Rorschach (who is also my favourite character, by the way). The book skips around a lot, with little inserts of the past where pertinent to explain the present. Full of intriguing plot twists and bizarre action sequences, a host of characters are given personalities reminiscent of real people – something s o m e t i m e s missing in m o d e r n literature (I’m looking at you, Twilight). Even the l e s s e r characters, the newspaperman on the corner for instance, are given complex histories and give a voice to fantastic plot devices. The fact that a graphic novel within the graphic novel is being read provides excellent plot symmetry, and serves to illustrate a new and very interesting perspective on the doom of humankind. Back to the characters: we’re given some pretty heavy crap to deal with as readers. The novel focuses on the personalities of a group of like-minded masked vigilantes, all of whom except two have officially retired from the crime-fighting biz. The two that remain are the two craziest people you are ever going to meet. The first dies within the first five pages of the novel, and his name is the Comedian. At first, the name seems paradoxical: nothing about this guy is funny. He is ruthless, rude, crass, callous, and seems to have no emotion at all (except some perverse sense of humour). He sees the entire

world, all of existence, as a joke: some sick morbid humour. He dies quickly, though his actions are revealed throughout the tale as being extremely important to the plot. The other masked vigilante is Rorschach, who refused to retire when the government ordered the crime-fighters to stop what they were doing. The Comedian was exempt from forced retirement because he contracted exclusively with the government. Rorschach did no such thing, and he refused to quit. Rorschach is crazy; it’s as simple as that. He was abused as a child, and has one of the most indepth and compelling back-stories of the entire cast of characters. He is equally as ruthless as the Comedian, but there’s a cold, calculating precision to his actions that make him all the more terrifying. His

character is twofold, both with and without his mask, and the message he delivers throughout the tale is not an optimistic one. I think it’s a little too much to ask of Rorschach to be optimistic. Other characters in the novel are present as well. They are a little less intimidating but no less rounded. Weave in a complex love triangle between the Silk Spectre, Nite Owl, and Dr. Manhattan (big, blue naked dude, in case you forgot from the film), and you have all the romance this plot will ever need. Finalize the entire story with a doomsday device that takes out over half of Manhattan and the coolest criminal mastermind of all behind it and you’ve got a recipe for a fantastic tale. The fact that Bubastis is a genetically altered lynx and utterly adorable is just icing on an already delicious cake. Bottom line for this book is simple: if you’re not into graphic novels, put your prejudices aside and read this one. It is worth every moment you spend on it.

meliorist

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October 6 , 2011 • 9

Drink of the week: Beer! Matt Baird

Features Mixologist

The only reason beer isn’t the drink of the week every week is because my editor demands variety. When I countered with the fact that there are more beers in existence than countries in the world, and as such I could do a drunken world tour without ever leaving the safety of the office, a stern look was all I was given. However, in honour of the end of Oktoberfest in Munich (and the festivities occurring this very printing day in the Grove), I’ve decided that Beer should be given its due. Drink of the week: Beer Ingredients: Beer Glass Method: Pour beer in glass. Drink the beer. Alright, that was rather lacklustre. The thing is, no one needs to be taught how to mix a beer. Making beer, however, is a different story! And that is why this week, we’re going to explore the method and madness of making your own home brew! Now, before you turn the page and head on over to the TLFs,

hear me out. Home brewing is as easy as you make it for yourself. It is cost effective, and it yields a truly preposterous amount of beer for the cost involved. For all of you who are planning on going out and dropping $20 on a 15 pack of Keystone tonight, this Drink of the Week is for you. Also, stop buying Keystone. It’s a soulless, beer-flavoured beer with as much character as a cardboard cut-out of Joe Clark. So, while you could grab yourself a Big Easy Brew, toss in the yeast pill and let it sit for 10 days, I expect better of all of you. 23 litres of beer on the horizon for the patient and the willing; that is equivalent to about 64 cans each time you get the gumption to start brewing. If you keep a rotation up, that’s consistent, affordable beer on a monthly basis. However, a home brewing kit can range from $150-$300, which is not dosh that most students want to drop just to save some beer money each month. And while you could steal the blue buckets used for recycling on campus, get a moonshine bottle for a carboy, and then heat the hops on a hot plate, these are not recommended for your own safety. If you live with roommates, you could start a house fund and then share the beer! So long as it doesn’t devolve into the

unloved child of the household, the centrepiece of bickering and arguments, the beer will flow like honey and... beer. Beer consists of four ingredients, all equally important: water, malt, hops, and yeast. We all know what water is, and if you don’t you may be suffering from dihydrogen monoxide poisoning; seek immediate medical attention. Are those idiots gone? Good. For the rest of you, malt is cereal grain that has been germinated and has sprouted, thus allowing the starch to activate. It is then dried, and serves as the heart of the beer. This can be anything from barley, rye, or wheat; even rice or corn if you like. Hops serves as the flavouring for a beer. Much like mac & cheese without the cheese is just noodles, beer without the hops is just Keystone. Finally, yeast is what makes beer boozy. The single cell organism eats sugar and produces alcohol and carbon dioxide, and also provides that crucial beer flavour. How do they combine to make the liquid we know and love? Read the instructions in your beer kit – this isn’t a goddamned how-to manual; I’m just giving beer a welldeserved salute, and pointing you towards the possibility of making your own. And so, this week we salute

the oldest alcoholic beverage in history; the consistent answer to troubling times since unreasonable circumstances led man to require

an altered state of mind. Here’s to you, beer. As for you, dear reader, I’ll see you on the other side of the glass.

special favour; besides, how noble would we be if we didn’t airdrop the occasional aid package to foreign dissidents who have come around to our way of thinking? In my brilliant republic, the ethnic cleansing will go on as it always has, but for the simple and heroic reason of gain. The same caprice that makes us help one neighbour leads us to butcher another, depending whether the appetite of self or purse feels pressing. We shall be Caesars all, life or death on an idle whim. Anyway, it soothes inner city congestion. In my glowing republic, corruption will be par for the course: $2,500 monthly, or $50 per day if you bribe the caddy. Personal mercantile exploit is as natural as things get, and it will build itself into the system with no help from us. The best ma-

chines incorporate the human love affair with failure into their very design. In my great republic, we will only give credence to the concrete and because we are a thrifty, pragmatic nation, it is raw productive capacity that we seek in every learned endeavour. We can only be morally responsible for what we know of, so it’s cheaper to know less; ignorance is bliss and enlightenment only gives weight to your chains. Thrift is such a universal virtue. In my free republic, we rule ourselves all and care nothing for our cities and our states, for they rule themselves by the drunken reel of our whimsy. In my perfect republic, Virgil sits sorrowfully at the gate and Dante has a song for us all.

Concerning perfection De Res Publica

Olivier O’Brien Features Op-Ed

One of my favourite humorous sayings comes from the Sybil of pop culture, GTA: “They say in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king, but what about the land of the stupid? Perhaps they have no king and instead live in a glorious republic of morons?” I am enchanted by that pure democracy, where the transparency of government is guaranteed not by dusty and feeble law, but by the simplicity of its inhabitants. Noth-

ing is as crippling to humanity’s insidious bent as profound retardation. Far be it from me to suggest that authoritarianism is an indicator of high intelligence! No, for in my glorious commonwealth every citizen would believe themselves entitled to absolute ruler-ship, which is precisely where the pure democracy would come in: whomsoever that could whine the loudest and throw the most furniture live on television would get their way. The shadowy private interests with large amounts of political venture capital would of course have three

or four out of the two or three political parties bought and paid for, but what else is new? Besides, the glorious republic’s proud citizens won’t care, believing themselves masters of their destinies and rightful captains of the ship of state. Not to mention the 10 or so per cent of the budget which isn’t buying new and interesting tax breaks for those who really care about those sorts of things, and keeping the administrative class so inundated in cash as to keep them bloated and harmless, would still be enough to buy every kind of bread and game there is. Yes, my nation of Napoleons would be so challenged by the feat of staggering out from their mountain’s forty ouncers and partial cable nudity that it will never occur to them that they probably shouldn’t. The resulting struggle for meaning will provide the restless with something to aspire too: angst keeps the angstful in line. In my shining republic, simple personal morality will be the order of the day. The citizens will help each other, not from genuine love, nor from a stoic acknowledgment of what ought to be done within a system of ethics, but from that first impulse, subjective and unique. It is the individual who chooses both his or her own actions and motivations. In my noble republic, our relations with our neighbours will be simple and easygoing. Free trade and exchange will allow our citizens to profit from the cheaper labour of faraway places, without even knowing what it costs. With our even-handed approach, we will deal with whoever is most profitable and easy; war or commerce, the rules are the same. Of course, whichever countries are most closely aligned to our way of thinking will carry

opinions

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October 6, 2011 • 10

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief For more information on contributing to The Meliorist, please contact Kelti Boissonneault, einc@themeliorist.ca

Our truth and effort:

Harper’s jail economy will fail Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

For the past few years the Conservative Party of Canada has been pushing more and more money into the justice system and the corrections departments in Canada. The money was used to create larger and better jails, as well as fund stricter protocols for inmates and increased staffing to the penitentiaries. While this sounds like a reasonable plan for such a large country, with an ever-increasing population and a continued worry about gang violence in the urban centres, statistics over the past five years have shown a steady decline in criminal cases ending in convictions. Is this a factor of decreased crime rate? Or is it a lack of convictions coming out of a justice system that, frankly, needs a little work? It’s hard to say why the crime rate is going down when the vast majority of the public is still worried about public safety, particularly in cities. The fact of the matter is, however, that the crime rate has fallen, but Harper’s government has built all these fancy new prisons to put our non-existent (or at least, nonconvicted) criminal population in. Why? It’s a system modeled after a system in the United States, subscribed to by such heavy-hitters as Texas, Georgia, and a number of other states – many of which still subscribe to the death penalty. What do all those illustrious leaders in punishment have to say about their system? “Don’t do it!” The fact of the matter is that those states are now bankrupt because of the amount of money they spend on their corrections departments and jails. Harper might have started with a system that would work for Canada, if Canada’s crime rate was increasing, but it seems that the long-term effect of the system will not be a healthy one. We can appreciate that Harper is doing his darnedest to make good on a few of his election promises now that he has that golden majority he always wanted. We can appreciate what he is trying to do by making the country a safer place, but we have a few contentions with how he’s going about it. Firstly, Harper’s tactics aren’t suitable for Canada right now. If it was a different country where we had an efficient justice system (which we don’t, by the way) and our crime rate was on the rise, then a host of new facilities to put our incarcerated would probably be a good idea. If we do end up turning into that type of society, all the better for these new prisons, but could we please put our lawbreakers into a clink that’s got the good-old Hoag flair instead of those cushy palaces we house them in now (full internet and cable access

anyone? I know students who don’t population who tend to be the have that)? major demographic when it comes Secondly, the Tories seem to be to drug use. The bill itself targets attempting to justify their massive drug use, including marijuana use, expenditures by changing current with harsh minimum sentences for criminal legislation to further those convicted with possession their appearance of being “tough or use. How do you feel about a on crime.” minimum two year Q u i e t l y sentence for being slipping caught smoking a …minimum two through Bill joint? year sentence C-10 in the The Conservatives House of are coming under for being caught Commons fire for trying to smoking a joint… this week, get this bill passed it will be (again, fourth interesting time’s the charm, to see if our right?) when there MPs allow the ridiculous new policy are other pressing matters to on drugs to pass. The bill in question attend to, like the global economy. is an Omnibus bill that includes What’s more, this bill focuses on multiple changes to Canada’s stiffer punishments for those who criminal code, and touches on some use drugs while leaving out other of our immigration laws as well. things... like mass producers of the The bill details some pretty stuff. So, Prime Minister, you’re interesting (well, no – it’s boring bent on being tough on crime by legal jargon actually) things about attacking a symptom of crime, changes to drug laws in Canada, not the crime itself? Oh wait, no, which might affect the young adult I see your logic: kill the need and

the suppliers will die out too. going to cause injury to another Newsflash: you’ll never do it. Let’s person is if they get in the car and revert to something a little more drive (and don’t be stupid people, practical. stay on your couch with the chips For instance, why is organized and play video games; it’s better for crime so prevalent in Canada? It’s everyone). gotten to the point where notorious There are a lot of opinions out there street thugs are on this topic and being killed off certainly everyone by rival gangs in is entitled to their To Mr. Harper: broad daylight, own. I encourage in public. You you to respond, I support your want to talk but also to check bid to be tough about public out the Students safety? How for Sensible Drug on crime. about attacking Policy club here on the gang wars campus: just have that kill innocent conversations with bystanders through messy gunfire? them. They are cool people with How about getting tough on the some really sound ideas on how big-time drug suppliers, something best to tackle the drug culture in that Bill C-10 only sort-of looks at? our society. Also, let’s get real here and finally To Mr. Harper: I support your legalize marijuana in small doses. bid to be tough on crime. Maybe If you legalize it, then we wouldn’t start with the big problems and have to worry about putting people work your way down; don’t waste away for a crime that, let’s face it, everyone’s time. doesn’t hurt anybody anyway. The only time someone high on pot is

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mel•io•rism (meel’e riz’m, me’le e-), n. the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort

Letters Freedom or tyranny? To the Meliorsit, Why am I not surprised that more of these purported “truthers” are popping out from the woodwork? This time from someone who possesses a degree in the philosophy of science but likely one who has a tenuous grip on the physical sciences. One of the critical errors I see is the association of flight numbers with the actual aircraft themselves. Though pilots have used the flight number as a call sign, it is my understanding that flight number denotes the flight path not the aircraft. If no one scheduled flights 11 and 77 to fly

that day, James Fetzer would give us the tail numbers but something tells he can’t or he won’t but I digress. It is actually ironic that Fetzer cites Veterans Today in his letter when the University of Lethbridge came under fire from the National Post after someone in Graduate Studies congratulated Mr. Blakeney for taking a post with the magazine. Largely because Veterans Today is ostensibly infamous for publishing holocaust denial, Michael Ross also uncovered another interesting tidbit or information in his investigation of the publication. The magazine lists Hamid Gul, former leader of Pakistan’s intelligence agency and the man accused of sheltering

Osama Bin Laden, on their Editorial Board of Directors. Granted that Ross himself is a veteran of Israeli intelligence, I also keep the fact Israel is a Liberal Democracy that affords civil rights and freedoms to all of its citizens. Meanwhile, Muslims in Pakistan rape and murder Christians, Hindus, and other minorities while authorities look the other way due to the country’s “anti-blasphemy” laws. So it comes to one question, whom do you trust: freedom or tyranny? If Blakeney and Fetzer support a publication that denies one of the most horrific atrocities witnessed by mankind, and has “The Father of the Taliban” on its board of direc-

tors then I have reason to believe is it them who is trying to deceive the public. I am not surprised though; people of their extraction gravitate towards totalitarian ideologies. With communism discredited the only totalitarians left are the Islamists in the Middle East, Iran, and Central Asia. As for me, I said in my previous letter that I am a believer in freedom of speech so Blakeney and Fetzer can spread their nonsense as they see fit. I simply ask those to consider that they chose to support a totalitarian ideology that seeks to deceive us into believing they are harmless, or seeking the truth.

The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Sunday 4pm. The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author. Special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms. Letters should contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and student identification number. The address, I.D. and phone number will not be published. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality.

Editor-in-Chief Kelti Boissonneault einc@themeliorist.ca

Zombies need new dimensions

Enough with the boring brain-eater already

Business Manager Nelson Chin b.manager@themeliorist.ca

Binh Nghiem

The Phoenix (UBC-Okanagan)

KELOWNA (CUP) — If zombies retain some basic primal instincts like the need to feed, don’t they also need to sleep? Have crazy zombie orgies? Maybe even murder each other for fun/territory? And what’s with eating only live flesh? Zombies are so ultra-gory violent, yet never kill each other (for flesh or otherwise). What’s up with that? Is dead meat not good enough for the undead? I mean, when they are alive they eat dead meat (vegans/vegetarians aside), but when they become “undead” they all of a sudden develop such a snobbish attitude toward what food they will consume. If you’re so damned hungry, why hold out for living humans? There are millions of potential meals mindlessly walking about all around you. Just start eating each other already! Hell, if I was a zombie I would probably exclusively eat other zombies because they are so readily available and trusting. It would go down something like this: Random zombie: “Ggrrraww rrawar human brainrwarggrgr.” Me: “Yes, grrrgrgrgr over there in corner grgrawwawa.” (I point at a dark corner. Random zombie walks to dark corner. I attack and eat his brains. Covered in blood, I

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walk to the other zombies.) Me: “Grggrrawawa human survivors graww kill one of rawww own.” It would be the perfect crime. The zombie or zombies who execute this plan might in turn become zombie chieftains who ensure the survival of their kind by not being so damned picky about what to fricking eat, teaching them to swim, starting a zombie civil war, using the internet to search for zombie porn — you know, primal urges and

zombie needs other then eating. On a side note, would vegetarian/vegan humans turned zombies not continue their dietary ways? I mean, if zombies eat humans for survival only, wouldn’t nuts/fruits/ veggies fulfill other zombie nutritional needs? Dear Hollywood producers, directors, actors/actresses and writers: stop making films about the survival of a small group of humans who face complex existential questions

of murder, betrayal, manipulation and what it means to be human. Instead, make a movie about a zombie that evolves from his/her zombie group. This zombie might inadvertently become an ally to the survivor group, adding a nice twist. Imagine a group of survivors running down a street. Zombies are attacking and eating each other in the background. It’s a nice touch of pragmatism, don’t you think?

The Meliorist Board of Directors has positions available for...

Features Editor Matt Baird f.editor@themeliorist.ca Entertainment Editor Billy Davey e.editor@themeliorist.ca Sports and Lifestyle Editor Nicole Meech s.editor@themeliorist.ca Campus Beat Reporter Janet Barriage campus.beat@themeliorist.ca Photo Editor Jon Martin p.editor@themeliorist.ca Illustrator Elizabeth Porter Copy Editor James Forbes Distribution Manager Tracy Fairs Production Assistants Jeff Henry Emma Ferguson

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Printing Southern Alberta Newspaper Group

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Contributors Olivier O’Brien Meg Johnston Zoë Migicovsky RJ Balog Peter Goertzen Tarra Wright-Many Chief Jaycene Mock Emma Ladouceur Cover Brandon Wallis

By the numbers For those of you who participated in the 2011 census earlier this year, the results of the data-collection will not be out until early 2012. Let’s face it, it’s a lot of data to process and the results will no doubt be interesting (kind of). For the purposes of this article, however, our sources must come from a few years back: 2006 to be exact. In 2006, the total population in Canada was 31,241,030. So with a population of just over 31 million people, how does the cultural mosaic of Canada break down? Are we truly a nation of immigrants? Or do we just say that because of the overwhelming concentration of immigrants in our urban areas? How does the nation break down culturally, ethnically, and demographically outside of urban areas? You could write an entire paper on this topic (political science majors: honours thesis anyone?) and how it affects the Canadian culture. Is it even safe to say we have a national identity and culture with everything being so broken up and scattered? Take a look at the facts presented; you decide.

Imported cultures and citizens

Statistics Canada defines the non-immigrant population as “persons who are Canadian citizens by birth.” In 2006, the non-immigrant population numbered 24,788,720 people. The largest concentrations were found in Ontario (just over 8.5 million) and Quebec (just over 6.5 million). This makes sense; Ontario and Quebec are massive landmasses that traditionally have held our largest concentration of populations since, well, before Confederation (which was 1867 in case you were wondering/needed a refresher). Alberta can stand proud as the fourth largest non-immigrant population within Canada with just over 2.7 million people, just a mere 200,000 behind British Columbia. Keep in mind that all these stats are from the 2006 census, and therefore might be slightly off from representations of present day. We are waiting for the 2012 results of the 2011 census to come out to see how much things have changed.

So now that we’ve taken a look at the numbers of how Canada breaks down demographically, there are certain things we must consider. Firstly, with more and more immigrants coming into the country, how do we cling to the essence that makes us Canadian in the first place? Is our identity slowly being diluted by the mass-influx of different cultures, ethnicities, and nationalities? Do newly-made Canadians feel compelled to identify as Canadian or as people of their original nation? It’s such a complex issue that the idea of cultural diversity and the Canadian Mosaic tends to be a prickly topic for a lot of people. Several years ago there was a great scandal at the mere suggestion that the national anthem be translated into any other language than its current French and English. Those who considered themselves patriots argued that there are only two official languages in Canada, and that no other language need be included despite the fact that many languages are spoken here. Others, advocates for the change that could promote a feeling of welcome among new Canadians, argued that the anthem was a song to be sung in pride of Canada, no matter what language it was translated into. Such examples are complicated, made even more dramatic by personal feelings of everyone the nation over. With over 31 million voices all screaming about a topic, it’s impossible to please everyone. Some people want immigrants to be forced to learn either French or English upon coming to a country: they chose to live here after all, so they should know our languages. Others dispute this by saying forcing new Canadians away from their heritage is not what Canada is about. The culture of Canada is a bizarre and complex issue to understand. We are, however, getting better at understanding it. As Canadians, we can stand proud and tall and see that our country is recognized as one of the great nations of the world: where we are accepting of all cultures (outwardly anyway) and where anyone can make a new start. America might pride itself on the immortalized “American dream,” but Canada is a nation where individuals can accomplish their own dreams, no matter what they may be.

The immigrant population

The national mosaic

Statistics Canada defines the immigrant population as “persons who are, or have ever been, landed immigrants in Canada.” This means that they were born elsewhere and immigrated to Canada. They can come individually, or in family groups, and settle anywhere in the vast nation that spans over half the north-western hemisphere. In 2006, the immigrant population of Canada was 6,186,950, with over half of those settling in Ontario (3.3 million). Alberta was home to just 527,030 immigrants, with over half of those immigrating into the province previous to 1991. Being primarily rural, with only a few large cities across what amounts to a vast province, Alberta didn’t have much to offer the incoming demographic. I imagine that moving from one country to another is difficult, especially if you have to start from scratch, find a job quickly, and do not speak the language. Canada offers a sound opportunity for immigrants to come to work here, though most of them can acquire only minimum wage jobs in their first few years. This instant need for employment is what attracts most of the immigrant populations to the urban areas. Jobs are readily available, and, often, cultural centres grow up in urban areas where immigrants from similar backgrounds conglomerate to form an ethno-community (Chinatown, Little Italy, etc).

With such a rich blend of cultures from the world over residing within our own borders, Canada becomes an extremely unique and vibrant place to travel within. Nowhere else in the world will you find such a relaxed outlook on what national identity means. This can, in many cases, be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing of this means that, on average, there is an increased acceptance and tolerance of multiple cultures, religions, and ethnicities starting at a very young age among Canadians. Especially in inner-city schools, children quickly learn that racism and discrimination based on looks or cultural differences (e.g., what’s that funny hat?) is a type of social evil that will be neither permitted nor tolerated. While some rural areas still cling to the learned distrust of bygone generations, mass media and the spread of immigrants throughout rural areas of the nation now afford better understanding of different cultures even in the out-of-the way areas of our country. The curse of this mosaic is that Canadian culture has become somewhat unidentifiable or at least indefinable. How can you narrow something so vast down to one explanation? My definition of Canadian culture might differ drastically from another person’s definition. With the combination of so many cultures coming together, Canada risks being a melting pot rather than a sustained mosaic. Should we try to “Canadianize” new Canadians? Or should we be content with the mosaic that has formed and been, rather successfully, sustained in the last several decades? The answers are as few and fleeting as geese in January. My opinion would differ greatly from another person’s, and neither opinion could be considered more or less valid. The question remains, however: how do you qualify Canadian culture, and can such a thing be accurately qualified? I leave that to you to decide. May we all, First Nations, old immigrants, and new, be proudly Canadian.

The non-immigrant population

The Alberta spread Alberta’s total population in 2006 was just over 3.25 million. The non-immigrant population rested at 2.7 million, while the immigrant population was at that magical half a million mark (see immigrant population section). To break down Alberta’s population even further, you have large city centres like Calgary metropolitan area (MA) sitting at a population of 1,070,295 and Edmonton (MA) sitting at a close second with 1,024,820. Lethbridge sits at just over 93,000 people (the third largest city in Alberta, I might add). In Alberta, 83 per cent of our population is non-immigrant, with the remaining 16 per cent (leaving a one per cent margin of error) being immigrant. Lethbridge’s population is 87.6 per cent non-immigrant, with a remaining 11.7 per cent being immigrant.

Kelti Boissonneault Op-Ed

Imported cultures and citizens

The immigrant population

The national mosaic

The non-immigrant population

Kelti Boissonneault Op-Ed

14 • October 6, 2011

Premier-Designate Redford & CAUS

Over the weekend Alison Redford was elected as the new leader of the Progressive Conservative Party and will soon become Alberta’s first female Premier. This result was well received by CAUS, and we’re excited to begin working with our new Premier. During the summer CAUS had the opportunity to meet with Mrs. Redford twice to discuss student issues. On one occasion PremierDesignate Redford released her post-secondary policy in the University of Lethbridge Students’ Union Building. Her policy was built around the concept of increasing Alberta’s post-secondary participation rate; something that CAUS was actively lobbying leadership candidates on throughout the summer. Overall, the new Premier seemed to be more student friendly and supportive of post-secondary education and was definitely receptive to the concerns raised by CAUS. Now, Premier-Designate Redford just needs to follow through on her words.

T-shirt Contest Closed - online voting begins soon

The official submission deadline has passed for the ULSU T-Shirt Design Contest and the ULSU would like to thank everyone who submitted a design. “We received lots of great designs,” said VP Operations & Finance Leyland Bradley. “The Executive Council is going to have a tough time choosing five designs.” The onus now falls on the Executive Council to review the stack of submissions and choose the Top 5 designs. Next week, the Top 5 will then be uploaded to the ULSU Facebook page where students can vote for their favorite design. After two weeks, the design with the most ‘Likes’ will be crowned the winner. The designer will receive $200 cash and their design will be used for the next run of ULSU Swag T-shirts. For more information or if you have any questions about the contest, please contact Leyland Bradley at su.finance@uleth.ca or stop by the Students’ Union office in SU180.

What’s the Scoop with the UPass

Zack Moline President

From October 24th- 26th students campus wide will be voting on the merits of a new universal bus pass. In April of 2011 77% of respondents to the ULSU annual year-in-review survey indicated that they would like the SU to look into a Upass. If I had to field a guess, I would say that this result was indicative of the concern that students have over the rising costs of transportation, both private and public. Transportation is an important issue for students, and it is essential that campus have the debate on it today. Spurred by this, over the summer months the ULSU engaged Lethbridge Transit in a discussion over what a new Upass would look like. Here’s the scoop on the terms of the new Upass: Price: $75.00 + a $2.50 administration fee per semester. The $75.00 is currently the price of an adult monthly pass, if we compare that to the current cost of $285.00 for a semester bus pass, that is a discount of about 74%. The $2.50 administration fee is used to cover bad debt, banking fees, and staff time to administer the program. Opt-out: There will be an opt-out clause for all students who live outside of the service area, students on practicum outside of city limits, and students taking distance learning courses. Service Improvements: Service will be improved on a continuing ba-

sis throughout the first few months of the Upass. Lethbridge Transit will closely monitor the increase in ridership and enhance services where demand shows it is needed the most. If the proposal is accepted long term the Students’ Union and Lethbridge transit will meet at the very least annually to discuss future service improvements. Term: This package will last for

to determine for sure whether the Upass is worth their money as opposed to speculating on it. Overall, this program has advantages and disadvantages. Primarily, a Upass would provide students with a cheap and reliable form of transportation. Additionally it would reduce traffic on campus and support a more sustainable form of transportation. However, $77.50 is

The ULSU is indifferent to the results of the referendum, but strongly feels that this is a debate which campus needs to have. Over the month of October, take the time to inform yourself about the terms of the Upass and the potential strengths and weaknesses of the program and get out to vote from October 24th – 26th. This is a big decision, and it is entirely yours to collectively make.

ULSU Mobile App Now Available!

iOS

Android Blackberry coming soon! Check www.ulsu.ca for more details!

only a one year term; in essence it will be a pilot project. If accepted in the referendum, the Upass will enter into in effect in September 2012 and last until April 2013. If accepted this October, students would vote in February of 2013 on whether to make the program permanent. This will afford students the opportunity

a lot of money and many students will not get their money’s worth out of the program. The Students’ Union realizes that there is a lot at stake in this debate, and as an organization which seeks to represent the entire student body equally it will be remaining completely neutral in this referendum.

Upcoming Events: -Oktoberfest in the UofL Grove Oct. 6 from 12pm - 5pm -ULSU/Security Services Garage Sale - Oct. 12 -13 -Open Mic Night in the Zoo - Oct. 19 at 5:30pm -U Pass Referendum - Oct. 24 - 26 -Humans vs Zombies - Oct. 24 - 28 -Halloween Cabaret - Oct. 28

entertainment

meliorist the

October 6, 2011 • 15

Billy Davey Entertainment Editor For more information on contributing to Entertainment, please contact Billy Davey at e.editor@themeliorist.ca

Bachman & Turner reunite to take care of some business

Bachman & Turner reminds us of ‘70s hard rock at the Enmax Center | Jon Martin

Billy Davey

Entertainment Editor

The 1960s and 1970s are considered the golden age of music to many. You can’t argue that this is when rock n’ roll really flourished: folk rock, progressive rock, hard rock, psychedelic rock, garage rock, glam rock, blues rock, and yes even Christian rock all started in the ‘60s and ‘70s. But was this the climax of rock n’ roll? If so, then we are merely in its falling action and as the veterans of this “golden age” grow older and succumb, we will only be left with a quickly fleeting memory of rock n’ roll. Two Canadian rock artists jogged Lethbridge’s memory, to remind us of ‘70s hard rock, on Sept. 29 at the

Enmax Centre —Bachman & Turner. Previously Bachman-Turner Overdrive (BTO), Randy Bachman and Fred Turner have reunited after more than 20 years apart. They have already released a new single called “Rollin’ Along.” They are just adding to an already impressive arsenal of rock singles, including “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet,” “Takin’ Care of Business,” and “Roll on Down the Highway.” Randy Bachman was also a founding member of The Guess Who, producing “American Woman,” These Eyes,” and “No Sugar Tonight” with the band. Bachman & Turner are obviously entrenched in ‘70s popular rock, but like almost all popular musicians, the spotlight was eventually turned to another. As other genres were on

the rise, rock’s popularity fell. But it can still be found in less mainstream forms, such as metal, punk, grunge, alternative, and indie. All of the subsequent genres of rock n’ roll, however, never found as much success as their initial mover, although they all had (and some are still having) their time in the spotlight. Bachman & Turner are just a few of many rock n’ roll relics that seem to be regressing into a more underground stature. There is an abundance of rock legends who, while still incredibly talented (possibly more so now), are performing under cover because they aren’t connected to a big rock band name, such as Robert Plant. Bachman and Turner both received significantly less attention when playing solo, which

may be why they reunited. Bachman & Turner’s performance in Lethbridge was just what one would expect from a hard rock band: loud and heavy. Playing all their classic tunes, including “American Woman,” they saved “Takin’ Care of Business” for last, where Bachman teased the crowed by starting the song and stopping twice. The audience members were sitting for most of the show, slowly gathering to the front of the stage as it neared the end. By the encore, almost everyone on the floor had risen to their feet. Bachman controlled most of the show, taking countless guitar solos that would induce a mid-song applause. The band playing as a whole radiated with years of stage experience.

Bachman and Turner, both just a couple of years shy of 70, are true slaves to the groove, unable to end their duo that brought so much success many years ago. This is observable in many of rock’s musicians such as the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Led Zeppelin (with their reunion show in 2007), Neil Young, and Eric Clapton. While it may be apparent that a certain type of rock n’ roll is diminishing, like all things, it is just a transition period for music and those who still think there are golden ages in music will just have to deal with the new landscape of rock n’ roll.

Lord of the Flies meets America’s Next Top Model Zoë Migicovsky

Entertainment Writer

What happens when a plane carrying 50 teenage beauty queens crashes onto a tropical island and no adults survive? That’s the basic premise behind Beauty Queens, the latest offering from Libba Bray, the Printz Award-winning author of A Great and Terrible Beauty and Going Bovine. Think Lord of the Flies meets America’s Next Top Model and you’ll have just a small idea of the wonderful comedic absurdity of this novel, which includes the appropriate commercial breaks using products featured in the story as well as fact sheets about each contestant (with

comments from the sponsors). When the girls crash, they think their biggest ordeal will be keeping themselves prepared for the upcoming pageant and reworking the dance numbers with so many contestants having “dropped out” of the competition; but when no help comes they soon discover that the island they’ve landed on may be more threatening than they ever could have imagined. Beauty Queens isn’t just a book you read, it’s a book you experience. For that reason I highly recommend the audiobook version, read by the author herself. Libba Bray is a genuinely talented narrator and the story really comes to life through accents, jokes unique

to the audio, as well as musical jingles for the commercials. Much is missed by simply reading a print edition, and it is a lot more difficult to get involved in the story. When you listen to the audio, you immediately find yourself sucked into Bray’s hilarious universe. Although Beauty Queens is a very funny book, it is also an intelligent and satiric discussion on many important issues facing teen girls such as sexuality, gender, racism, beauty standards, inner-confidence, and living up to parental and societal expectations. Even the commercials take on these topics, and yet Bray does it in such a funny way that the message doesn’t feel forceful. Take for example, “DiscomfortWear,™

shapewear designed to eliminate rills, ripples, and muffin tops. In some cases known to eliminate circulation and breathing. If you’re not uncomfortable, it’s not DiscomfortWear.™” This is one of many jokes regarding the lengths a woman will go to look good, a point brought home by the contestants’ paranoia about their appearances, even in a completely illogical context like being stranded on a deserted island. There were, however, a few points where I felt Bray pushed the humour slightly too far, verging into the campy instead of the comedic, such as the one contestant with a meal tray stuck in her forehead and the many ensuing jokes. Mostly

though, I was in awe of how Beauty Queens would have me alternating between laughing out loud, and nodding in sincere agreement, and sometimes both at the same time. Bray takes what initially seem like stereotypical cut-outs of beauty queens and gives them real and unexpected depth. Many of the girls have secrets, things they are hiding or trying to prove, and alone on a deserted island they are forced to come face to face with many of their fears and insecurities. Beauty Queens is a smart yet relatable satire, a culture critique with complex and hilarious characters. Bray will leave you laughing and contemplating the whole way.

meliorist the

Entertainment

16 • October 6, 2011

Suck at life? Dirk Danger can help Entertainment Editor

Dirk Danger Loves Life by Chris Rothe is a novel about learning from your mistakes, others mistakes, making more mistakes while learning from them, and a goldfish... who dies from a mistake. Well, it’s about a lot of other things too, but could you really focus on them now that I told you a poor goldfish died? I dare you to try and make it through this article without his little golden fishy face staring at you every time you blink. This novel is the Calgarian’s debut book and was released electronically on July 15 and in paperback on Oct. 5. Dirk Danger Loves Life rushes from simple to complicated, from comedy to tragedy, and from liked to loved very rapidly.

The book The first words of the novel are “I suck at life,” which are spoken by a man who is failing miserably at living any sort of meaningful or interesting existence. This man is also the main character (who remains nameless through the book), who can’t hold a job, can’t keep a goldfish alive, and is about to be evicted — a classic case of sucking at life. By sheer coincidence he contingently stumbles upon a phone number on a weight loss flyer that, although weight loss is not one of his problems, he calls. This is what leads him to Dirk Danger and the start of the end of his shoddy life. Dirk takes the protagonist in to teach him about life and how not to suck at it. When Dirk Danger is first introduced,

OCT. 6

he is unorthodox, quirky, and seems to be built from indestructible humour. He appears to be very independent from the real world and it’s woes. This may be why the main character feels there is hope in asking for help from this complete stranger. In one month Dirk must change the main character’s affliction and his perception of life. What ensues is a story that explores ways to makes one’s life more interesting, which involves bad poetry and urban snorkelling. The extent that Dirk’s life lessons are prospected not only helps the main character suck less at life but also the reader. Despite a few glaring errors not smoothed out by the editing iron, the prose keeps the story incredibly sustained and entertaining, containing a twist, not just in plot, but also in writing voice. As the story develops, the tone starts to change from comedy to tragedy. This parallels Dirk, his seemingly infallible humour and quirkiness quickly eroded as he develops into a character with much hidden agony. These dual voices in the writing allow Rothe to create more realistic life lessons for the characters and the reader.

“

Alta. with his cat. While building up the courage to get his book published, he sent “a whole bunch of really crappy short stories” to the biggest publisher he could think of. This was all a devious plan to get a rejection letter for a kick start. But upon his first try he was able to publish his book with Atomic Fez Publishing. Rothe says that many of the characters in Dirk Danger are from his own personality, while some are from people he has met. “It was just a combination of different people that I’ve had to deal with in the past,” says Rothe, as he explains some side characters. “I came up with the character after another failed relationship. I just was sort of in a place where I wanted to change a lot of things about who I was, so I came up with this character who was able to see things differently and could do a lot of the things I felt I couldn’t do. So, all the lessons in the book are just things I wish I could do better: just be more out there, keep things a little more interesting, and relax a little more, that kind of thing,” explains Rothe. Rothe, drawing from his own experiences, uses Dirk to reveal truth about life. “It’s sort of a more convoluted way of saying stop and smell the roses, I guess. Life is what you make of it so if you’re not taking chances and not actually living each day, rather than just going through the

motions of a routine, things can either get stale, or in the case of the main character just fall apart completely,” says Rothe. He is also very aware of the two voices

in the text that rip the story away from its comedic side to show a petrifying truth about Dirk. “You can’t have comedy without tragedy,” says Rothe.

You can’t have comedy without tragedy,

“

Billy Davey

Rothe.

The author Chris Rothe currently lives in Calgary,

Open mic

OCT. 8

@ Sterndale Bennett Theatre

OCT. 10

In A World Created by a Drunken God

OCT. 11

@Old York Multipurpose Skate Park Site

8pm

Selection Open House @ Nicholas Sheran School Gymnasium Randy and Mr Lahey Trailer Park 7pm to 8:30pm

8:30pm

@ Sterndale Bennett Theatre 8pm to 10pm

Galt Flashlight Cemetery Tours

Thanksgiving Day

Emotional Blackmail

@ Galt Museum & Archives

Go eat your Tofurky!

@Southern Alberta Art Gallery 601 -

7pm to 10pm

9pm to 11pm

Junior Naturalists - I Think Mice are

Cal Toth

Nice

@ Ric’s Grill

Between Material and Imagination

@ Helen Schuler Nature Centre

8pm

@ Southern Alberta Art Gallery 601 -

10am to 5pm

Doc Maclean and Big Dave

10am to 12pm

McLean Bad Boys of Blues Tour

3 Avenue South 10am to 5pm

Tom and Curt

Open mic

@ The Slice

Cornhusk Dolls

@ The Old York Tavern

@ the Zoo

9:30am

@Galt Museum & Archives

8:30pm

Teaching English Abroad Free

1pm to 2pm

5:30pm

OCT. 7

3 Avenue South

Boys night @ Average Joe’s

In a World Created by a Drunken God

Karen Romanchuk @ Mocha Cabana

Information Session Bamboo Guppies

Open mic

@ University of Lethbridge

@ Lethbridge Casino

@ 1010Pub

7pm to 8pm

9pm

8:30pm

Vacant Stairs, Greg Gomola Eva

Open mic

@ Bo Diddly’s 7pm to 10pm

Happy Hour with the Kurt Ciesla Trio

Tom and Curt

@ Trianon Wine Bar 4:30pm to 7pm

@ The Old York Tavern

Open mic

Gypsy Spirit Dance

Kelly Tschritter

Montgomery

@ Owl Acoustic Lounge

@ The Bowman-811 5 Ave. S.

@ Mocha Cabana

Dueling Pianos

@ Owl Acoustic Lounge

9pm

6:30pm to 8:30pm

6pm to 9pm

@ Average Joe’s

9pm

Matt Anderson Season Closer at the Nikka Yuko

@ Geomatic Attic 8pm

Lethbridge Symphony Orchestra

Snailhouse with Lauren Mann

Rancho Deluxe with Ali Free

Japanese Garden

Chamber Series I

and the Fairly Odd Folk featuring

Open mic

@ The Slice

@ Nikka Yuko Japanese Garden

@ Southminster United Church

Handsome and Gretyl

@ Jimmy’s Pub

9:30pm

9am to 5pm

8pm to 10pm

@ Owl Acoustic Lounge

9pm

OCT. 9

Emotional Blackmail

@ Owl Acoustic Lounge

@Southern Alberta Art Gallery 601 -

9pm

7pm In a World Created by a Drunken God

Bamboo Guppies

@ Sterndale Bennett Theatre

Open mic

@ Lethbridge Casino

8pm to 10pm

@ Wolf’s den

9pm

8pm Galt Flashlight Cemetery Tours

Ketamines 7 inch release party with Uncle Bad Touch and babysitter

3 Avenue South 10am to 5pm

Mr. Lethbridge’s birthday with

Between Material and Imagination

@ Galt Museum & Archives

Porter Davidson Trio

the Coal Creek Boys and Jesse

@ Southern Alberta Art Gallery 601

9pm to 11pm

Sunday Nature Walk - Deer

@ Ric’s Grill

and the Dandelions

@ Helen Schuler Nature Centre

- 3 Avenue South

8pm

@ The Slice

2pm to 3pm

10am to 5pm

9:30pm

Open mic @ The Slice

Fire Prevention Week

9:30pm

meliorist

Entertainment

the

October 6, 2011 • 17

50/50

50 per cent laughs, 50 per cent cries RJ Balog

Entertainment Writer

An important aspect of life is balance. Finding a balance between the ups and downs that are thrust upon you (sometimes unexpectedly) can be a tough testament to a person’s character. As the saying goes, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” But what do you do when life gives you shit? You could go the Paul Rudd approach and say “f*** the lemons and bail,” or you could try to take a bad situation, and adjust your life in an attempt to form some kind of balance. 50/50 is a retelling of the real life experiences of Will Reiser and his struggle to cope with cancer. The script written by Reiser centres around Adam, portrayed

by the great Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and the hardships he faces after being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that yields a 50/50 survival rate. What seems like a stale cliché is given a fresh and genuine feel carried by smart and whole-hearted performances and spot on directing by Jonathan Levine (The Wackness). 50/50 delivers on all levels and creates a harmonious balance between comedy and tragedy. It doesn’t over-dramatize with an elaborate form of disease or unimaginable circumstances. Instead it brings a down-to-earth and deeply emotional story that develops naturally and fuses a bond to you as you watch. The emotional core of the story is brought out impec-

cably by Joseph Gordon-Levitt as he showcases why he quickly became one of the more sought-after actors in the last few years. Just as he did in films like Brick and (500) Days of Summer, JoGo (as I like to call him) establishes a firm base for the film with a strong heart-felt performance for other actors to build off of. The supporting cast excels in their defined roles, like Seth Rogen providing the comic relief as the somewhat wisecracking foul mouth friend that still manages to evoke stronger and more sympathetic emotional responses as he and the story develop. Bryce Dallas Howard and Anna Kendrick provide even deeper emotional ties as Adam’s girlfriend and therapist, respectively. There’s an onscreen

chemistry between JoGo and Kendrick that’s charming and fun, but at the same time provides some of the film’s more underlying sadness as their relationship explores some of the harsher realities of living with cancer. Anjelica Huston provides her talents as the caring and somewhat obsessive mother that works on both fronts, giving out laughs that rival the other actors, but also providing some of the film’s more honest melancholy moments, including one that’s particularly devastating and leaves movie patrons in a moist-eyed sadness. 50/50 succeeds in balancing comedy with tragedy, making you laugh and making you cry. A slow and natural approach allows the characters to develop and create a bond with

Pink Floyd Meddle (2011 – Re-master) (EMI) The Kooks Junk of the Heart (Quality/ EMI) A pleasant feel-good start with simple rhythm and melody that enhances the track’s feel-good nature. A short tune called “Taking Pictures of You,” has a relaxed ambience that is accomplished by an acoustic guitar and vocals with gliding keyboard chords coming in on the chorus. Two percussion-reliant songs are featured mid-album, “Runaway,” and “Is It Me,” the latter being the more lively of the two. Before closing with a fabulous piece that uses a strong piano, the album features two excellent acoustic tracks that show the great chemistry of the band.

Well, it seems Pink Floyd has chosen to re-master their legendary work. While I’m excited to review an album containing one of the greatest songs ever, “Echoes,” I’m not sure what to write. I fear I will end up pouring over a thesaurus looking up synonyms for “awesome.” So, I will instead write about dolphins. Dolphins are pretty cool. I think, short of dogs, they would be the best animal a human could hang out with. They also look like they are always having the time of their lives, and I think there is something to learn from that. We should send philosophers, not biologists, to study them, and then we could learn how they can have that much fun. Dolphins are also like the ocean’s genitalia. They are usually hidden beneath those wavy blue jeans but when whipped out, people tend to gasp in astonishment; some take pictures, some try to touch it, and some try to communicate with it using high-pitched squeaks.

Lady Antebellum Own the Night (Capitol/ EMI) Using and playing an array of instruments, including electric guitar, mandolins, and piano, Lady Antebellum shows their great connection as a band. “Dancin’ Away with My Heart” is a sweet slow love song that is carried by acoustic guitars, electric guitar, and violins. A heavier than usual track, “Friday Night,” is followed by a ballad of acoustic instruments in “Cold as Stone.” The album starts to descend into a line of sober tunes that lack intensity vocally but stay at status quo instrumentally. “Love I’ve Found in You,” livens the album back into a faster pace and less depressing place. The last two songs then bring the sober back but with more intensity, making for a strong finish.

the audience in a manner that’s unforced and genuine. 50/50 builds a sincere feeling of emotions in a simplified manner that acts to strengthen the impact of what it’s really trying to say. The flux of life and what it means to be human were portrayed in a realistic and emotionally charged manner. Wholehearted performances by all the actors, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in particular, show why honest situations and an earnest script can still reach out and evoke real feelings in the viewers. 50/50 uses excellent humour and real tragedy to get you to laugh and cry from the heart. A very well done film and excellent to watch.

meliorist the

Disadvantage of being a 3rd year student in a 1st year class: 1st years who love to have entire conversations during lectures. Can you sit quietly for an hour? Apparently not. To the Straight, Cute and Nice guy, you say that you men do exist. Well come talk to us. Cause we are looking for you. ;) Sincerely straight, single, cute and nice girl. To the sweetest girl, thanks for making coming back to school fun.I look foreword to many memorable times with you. You are my hunny bunny, love big boss. To the kid in the back rows of psych 2320 with the bare feet… Where the fuck are your shoes?? Cute boys should be banned from the library, they make it difficult to concentrate XD Come to Oktober Fest today on the Grove (or The Zoo if weather is poor) to enjoy some music, themed food, laderhosen and beer! From noon to 5pm. its very annoying when you are in the quiet section of the library and people still feel the need to talk loudly. seriously go somewhere else. Kid in front of me in Arky, I’m sure there is something intriguing about Anime, games and ebay, but when it comes time to the final I think the lectures will be more beneficial. not only can you creep people on facebook.. but now you can creep people’s Moodle profiles.. WIN!

TLFs

maybe if the hot guys on campus were single, us ladies would actually dress to impress. if you have to consider whether or not to shower, chances are you do. Miscommunication is the mother of all problems. take it from me bro. it killed me – Bromeo What is with The Food Network always being on at the gym? Watching gourmet food being prepared does not inspire me to work out, it makes me hungry To whoever took my cellphone outside of the study centre- PLEASE turn it into security!!! I’m also a broke University student :( can’t afford a new one. CM

the Evolution of University Partying Part 1 First year: Local: Dorms, Essies, Studio, Pulse Goal: blindingly drunk all the time and the Sex

To the chick in my art classes, You don’t have to talk all the time.

the Evolution of University Partying Part 2 Second year: Local: Duke/Pops, Backstreet, Mojo’s, Studio Goal: kinda drunk, have fun, meet some one sexy?

There once was a girl named Jenna, One summery day she got Henna, She loved to eat ham, and play with little lambs When she’s old she will have to use Tena!

the Evolution of University Partying Part 1 Third year: Local:Houses, Owl, Slice, Mojo’s, Goal: hang out, relax, meet people, not be studying

To all girls who wear yoga pants – thanks for the amazing Rear Views.

the Evolution of University Partying Part 4 Fourth year: Local:your house, friends houses Goal: write better papers, forget about the independent study, drown debt woes

To whatever class was walking through the library friday morning, I’ve seen elementary school kids travel quieter than you!

the Evolution of University Partying Part 5 Fifth year: Local: No Data Goal: No Data

To the guy wearing a Hogwarts Logo shirt on Friday, you are my hero :D

1. The Zoo has gr8 food & prices. Support it. What is better that studying with alcohol? 2. How come The Zoo & The Gym are never playing CKXU? Come on, support ur University radio!

You see that deucer in the corner she’ll be so much hotter, all thanks to a little barley and water. To the large group in Galileo’s, can you please be respectful of others who would like to use this space and lower your volume considerably. Thanks, people without earplugs. To the cute skater boy in pink crocs blowign bubbles on the patio infron of uhall: U made my day :D

October 6, 2011 • 18

If we’re going to have to listen to Truthers, the Meliorist could at least include a free tinfoil hat with each issue. Jesus promised the end of all wicked people, Odin promised the end of all Ice Giants. I don’t see many ice giants around.

HONEY BADGER JUST TAKES WHAT HE WANTS! HE DONT GIVE A SH!T!!

Arrested Development is back for another season before the movie. Everyone at Wall Street can go home now, we’ve won. Let us dine in celebration of the most Noodly Flying Spaghetti Monster, on this his day of Pasta Tuesdays! – FSM To the Occupy Wall Street supporters; what are you expecting? Should the people of Wall Street come out throwing bags of money to you? Get your own jobs and make your own money. Try to solve this puzzle in 30 seconds: say the opposite of all these words: 1.always 2.coming 3.from 4.take 5.me 6.down here’s to all the idiots who talk in class… thank you for robbing me of information that i would otherwise be able to hear if it weren’t for you my one friend spends more time in the library then in his girlfriend i dunno who i see more these days … bigfoot or my friend terr Dear Blue Toque Boy, what’s your name? What’s your number? ;)

Want that mustard? Grunt.

Submit your TLFs at WWW.THEMELIORIST.CA or to THEMELIORIST@GMAIL.COM. All TLFs must be submitted via a valid uleth account. Keep in mind that slanderous or offensive TLFs my be edited or omitted. The TLFs do not reflect the views or opinions of The Meliorist Publishing Society.

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lifestyle

meliorist the

October 6, 2011 • 19

Nicole Meech Sports and Lifestyle Editor For more information on contributing to Sports and Lifestyle, please contact Nicole Meech, s.editor@themeliorist.ca

This ain’t your granny’s crafting: Lesson one – the art of upcycling

Jaycene Mock

Lifestyle Contributor

In today’s modern world, most people seem to think that crafting is making macramé owls and knitting doilies. However, I am here to enlighten you that crafting has come a long way! This ain’t your granny’s crafting, so get on them crafty pants and let’s get started. Now that you’re secure in the knowledge that bifocal glasses and sipping lukewarm tea while you take your meds are not prerequi-

sites to craft, you’re probably wondering just what the heck upcycling is. In plain terms, upcycling is taking something that is already made and turning it into something else. At the heart of upcycling is the idea of recycling goods you already have and don’t/can’t use into something you will use! And I’m not talking about taking pop cans and making flowers, I am talking about making some really cool and useful things that are not only rad, but also environmentally friendly! This leads us to a subsection of this crafting les-

Neat-o nutrient of the week

Putting the ‘phat’ in FAT Nicole Meech Lifestyle Editor

When we think of fat we usually cringe at the thought of what this macronutrient does to us – it makes us fat, right? Wrong. Well, not completely wrong when consumed in moderation. It is actually one of the three main macronutrients our body needs for survival (the other two being protein and carbohydrates). Fat has gained its naughty rep as being the grease that slips through your fingers as you munch on fast food junk, but I’m here to redeem such a reputation and tell you about the many forms this nutrient has – good and bad. Before we begin, I would like to distinguish between the different kinds of dietary fat: saturated fat, unsaturated fat, and trans-fat. Of course there are many other subcategories, but we’ll keep it simple. Saturated fat causes high LDL levels (“bad” cholesterol) and should be limited to about 10 per cent of your daily caloric intake. This type of fat is found in most animal products

such as butter, cheese, whole milk, ice cream, and fatty meats – hence why they are so delicious. Unsaturated fats are the good fats which help lower HDL levels (“good” cholesterol). But these fats are still pretty high in the calorie department, so intake should be limited. Luckily these fats are mostly found in liquid vegetable oils, which people tend to use in moderation. Trans fats are a result of the hardening of liquid oils (think margarine and butter). Trans fats are also found in fast food, baked goods, and loads of other processed foods. Intake of this fat should be eliminated at all costs. So the bottom line when it comes to fats is to choose healthy fats, limit saturated fat, and avoid trans fat. The right types of fat will give you energy and protect against diseases while the wrong types will do the opposite. So if you’re considering a diet, make sure to stay away from anything that claims to be “low fat.” Those are two words your body will hate you for.

son – where to find stuff to upcycle. The answer is in one glorious word: THRIFTING! Thrifting can be a scary topic for some people. They imagine a dingy, run-down old building full of gross ratty clothing that even a hundred steam washes by Kelly Ripa couldn’t get clean. This, however, is a myth. Thrift stores, for the most part, are well-cleaned and full of wondrous treasures the likes of which you can only dream. Well, maybe they’re not that fab, but they’re pretty darn close! For those starting out, I would suggest a trip to Value Village or V.V. (as it is known in the craft world). V.V. is a smidge better-kept than some of the other thrift stores and offers a nice ease into the world of thrifting. You can also be guaranteed to find brand names and current trends at Value Village too, ya know, if you’re a slave to the whole fashion thing! This does, however, come with a price: Value Village can be ridiculously expensive and thus squashes some of the thrifting euphoria of finding something really great. Once you get your feet wet, go check out the Salvation Army and the Catholic Charities Clothing Banks. They’re a little less clean, so you need a thicker skin to shop there, but the finds you can make at

these stores can be well worth the effort! Now that you’re on your way to being a thrifting aficionado, let’s move on to some fantastically crafty project ideas! The most basic form of upcycling that I think is truly awesome-radtastic and want to focus on is buying thrifted clothing and turning them into great one-of-a-kind garments. The beauty of this is you don’t even have to know how to sew with a machine. I love buying t-shirts; they have great graphics and they’re cheap as heck! Plus, once you’re plugged into the world of upcycling, the possibilities are endless. You can buy tees based solely on the graphics they have. Find a favorite band, movie or cartoon character and throw sizing to the wind. It doesn’t matter that you can’t even get your head into that shirt or that you and your five closest friends could all fit in it; buy it and cut out the patch! Then, you can make almost any article of clothing in your closet unique by simply hand-stitching the patch onto it. I have dresses, jackets, hoodies, tees, and skirts – all of which I have been able to adorn with anything from my favorite band logos to beloved childhood figures. If you are feeling a little more crafty,

a t-shirt can be made into any number of things. Easy online instructions can be found to transform a tee into a rad pillowcase, a chair cover, or even a cute little book bag! Google different ways to craft with t-shirts and I guarantee you that it will blow your mind – and give you the crafting bug to boot! Not into fashion and hand-stitching makes you cringe? No problem. What about stretching a t-shirt over a canvas and stapling the back to make your own sweet one-of-a-kind wall art? You can do it for under five bucks (they sell canvases at the Dollarama for $2; it is a gift from God, I assure you!). At the end of the day, crafting is all about customization. Go out there, find cool stuff and make it your own with a pair of scissors, some thread, and if all else fails, a little bit of glue! May the crafting force be with you!

When it comes to fat you should... 1.

2. 3. 4.

Choose lean, proteinrich foods such as soy, fish, skinless chicken, very lean meat, and fatfree or 1 per cent dairy products. Eat foods that are naturally low in fat such as whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Get plenty of soluble fibre such as oats, bran, dry peas, beans, cereal, and rice. Limit fried foods, processed foods, and commercially prepared baked goods (donuts, cookies, crackers). Limit animal products such as egg yolks, cheeses, whole milk, cream, ice cream, and fatty meats (and large portions of meats). Look at food labels, especially the level of saturated fat. Avoid or limit foods high in saturated fat. Look on food labels for words like “hydrogenated” or “partially hydrogenated” – these foods are loaded with bad fats and should be avoided. Know that liquid vegetable oil, soft margarine, and trans fatty acid-free margarine are preferable to butter, stick margarine, or shortening

the

Lifestyle

meliorist

20 • October 6, 2011

Check yourself before you wreck yourself! How to improve your running technique

Nicole Meech Lifestyle Editor

Have you ever noticed the array of different styles that people use when they run? Whether it’s at the gym or in your neighbourhood, you’ll notice that techniques are unique to each individual and depend on a variety of factors. Has the person been properly trained? How long have they been running for? Do they actually enjoy running? Does it make you question how you look when you run? Looks aside, do you ever question if you’re doing it right? As an evolutionary skill you may be thinking that there can’t possibly be a right or wrong way.

But unfortunately there are habits that you can get into when you start running which can be detrimental to your development as a runner, and also detrimental to your body in general. Proper form doesn’t just ensure the prevention of injuries – it also helps slow down fatigue, which means you can run further and harder. At first it may seem daunting to think about every step you’re taking and you may even find it mentally exhausting. But after a while, good form will become second nature and you won’t have to think twice about it. Listed below are a few basic steps to help you become a better runner.

1. Focus on the prize. By aligning your head and neck properly and focusing on the horizon, rather than at your feet, you’ll stay focused and posturally correct. Move your head back and forth occasionally to avoid a stiff neck. 2. Keep your shoulders relaxed, level and low as you run. If you feel tension in your shoulders, or if you’ve been raising and tensing them, drop them and shake your arms out to relieve the tension. 3. Move your arms from front to back, not across your chest. Don’t clench your hands. Occasionally relax your arms, which should be

bent at the elbows. By doing so, you’ll transfer all your energy forward rather than laterally which will slow you down. 4. Avoid slouching when you run. Stand tall, keep your core engaged, and maintain good posture in your back. Everything you do in life will benefit from having a strong core, so by focusing on keeping your tummy tight your overall fitness will hugely profit. 5. Don’t bounce as you run and keep your stride steady. When you bounce, the same thing happens as mentioned with crossing your arms – you’ll waste your energy vertically

rather than using it to your advantage horizontally. By focusing on keeping your stride steady you’ll notice you’ll naturally stop bouncing because your energy is used to propel forward. I know these tips may be slightly overwhelming, especially if you’re a new runner, but with practice they will become easy. If you’re feeling intimidated then start with one habit at a time. Once you master it then move on to another habit until you master all five. Happy running!

Running strong Nicole Meech Lifestyle Editor

Now that you’ve got the tips for becoming a more efficient runner, I’ll give you some exercises to make you a stronger runner. Complete the following exercises three times a week to see noticeable results within a month. Lunges

Pull-ups Many runners don’t realize the benefits of strengthening your upper body – upper body strength is sometimes viewed as mere bulk muscle, weighing you down as you run. But having upper body strength is a critical piece to the running puzzle. Your trunk and arms act as a counterbalance to your legs, especially when going uphill or over unstable terrain. With that

said, it shouldn’t be your goal to get Schwarzenegger-huge (in his day), but rather to stay light. That’s why doing exercises such as pull-ups or push-ups are the right balance because you’re toning your body with your own body – no bulk. How to: using a pull-up bar or assisted pull-up machine at the gym, place hands facing away from you. Tighten your abs to keep your back from arching too much. Focus on setting your shoulder blades down

Lunges are the ultimate move for your butt, thighs, and groin, which is why the move is great for runners! People who run often only use running as a way to train and get better. While this has its merit, it’s much more beneficial to add strength training to progress to your fullest potential. How to: stand in a split stance with one leg forward and one leg back, holding weights if desired. Slowly bend the knees, lowering into a lunge while keeping the front knee and back knee at 90 degree angles. Keeping the weight in your heels, push back up to starting position. Avoid locking the knees at the top of the movement. Keep your front knee behind the toe as you lunge (you should be able to look down and see your toe). Keep your abs engaged and the torso upright.

and together, and pull up so your chin is over the bar. Lower slowly, and repeat. Don’t be discouraged if you can only do one – even one is beneficial! You’ll quickly notice improvement with regular practice. Double Cross Crunch Since your core is an essential aspect of running, or any activity for that matter, I’ve decided to provide you with a move that will target all

muscles in your abs. How to: lie on your back with your knees bent, your feet flat on the floor, your head and neck relaxed, and hands behind your ears. Use your lower abs to lift both knees, cross them toward your left shoulder as you simultaneously use your upper abs to raise your left shoulder and cross it toward your right knee. Hold for a second. Lower your legs and torso to the starting position, and repeat on the other side.

GET INVOLVED! VOTE! Oct. 24 - 26

TOWN HALLS

FIND OUT MORE AT WWW.ULSU.CA

Oct. 12 - 12pm in UHall Atrium Oct. 18 - 5pm in UHall Atrium

sports

meliorist the

October 6, 2011 • 21

Hockey Night in Lethbridge The Pronghorns give it their best shot

Nicole Meech Sports Editor

Sept. 30 The Men’s Pronghorn Hockey team faced off with the Saskatchewan Huskies for a home season opener. Unfortunately, within the first four minutes the Huskies were able to steal three goals, which eventually lead to a 5-2 win over the Horns. The Horns maintained

a solid fight in the first period but were not able to maintain the pace for the remainder of the game. Sophomore Taylor Gal opened the scoring for the Pronghorns, playing off a rebound in the first period. Senior goaltender Scott Bowles stopped 14 of the Huskies’ shots, which is a great feat to be proud of. The Horns had their chance to power their way back into the game after Huskies player Zak Stebner was given a major penalty but

Horns were unable to deliver. The Horns lost their chance to turn the tables during the third period as the Huskies stole two more points. The Huskies finished the night with a distinct advantage on the shot clock, outshooting the Horns 42-22. Saskatchewan finished the night 2-for4 on the power play, while the Horns scored once in their four opportunities. Bowles finished his busy night with a 37-save performance in the loss, while Huskies goalie Reekie

turned away 20 of 22 Horns shots. Oct. 1 The first ten minutes of the second battle between Horns and Huskies was heated, as the two teams evenly matched each other’s moves. Although the Huskies took the Horns out to lunch yet again, our men didn’t let up the fight. Both teams roughed each other, scoring many penalties from both sides through-

Former Alouette learning new trade at Concordia

Former Montreal offensive lineman Bryan Chiu tries his hand at coaching CIS football Andrew Maggio

The Link (Concordia University)

MONTREAL (CUP) — For most of his 13-year career, Bryan Chiu was considered the best centre in the Canadian Football League. Chiu was the recipient of various accolades, such as the 2002 Most Outstanding Lineman award, 16 total all-star selections (7-time CFL All-Star, 9-time CFL East AllStar), all while anchoring a dominant offensive line en route to two Grey Cup championships with the Montreal Alouettes. His resume speaks for itself — his rise to CFL greatness was never in doubt — but his legendary journey was cut short all too soon. Chiu’s surprising retirement announcement via his Twitter account during the summer of 2010 caught the city of Montreal by surprise, but Chiu had ample reason to call it quits. By then, various injuries and surgeries had hampered his ability to compete at the elite level he had maintained throughout his career. But that was only part of the reason. “I had to do it in the best interest of my family,” said Chiu. “I have two young kids and a wife and I want-

ed to make sure I was going to be healthy for them down the road.” But while his retirement was a heavy blow to the Alouettes, it was a blessing for the Concordia Stingers football team. Two weeks after the announcement, Concordia head coach Gerry McGrath hired Chiu to take on the roles of assistant offensive coordinator and offensive line coach. “I was really planning to take some time off and just regroup, just to give myself a little time before I started the next chapter of my life,” he said. But when word reached McGrath that Chiu was free, he wasted no time. “When Gerry got back from training camp in Saskatchewan he gave me a call… We went out for lunch and he basically just offered me the job,” said Chiu. His good relationship with McGrath was also a big reason for joining the Stingers’ coaching staff. “Over the years I had gotten to know Coach McGrath. We built a good relationship and I would always joke with him that someday I’d come and coach with him.” Although Chiu never actually gave serious thought to coaching after his career, his love for the game of

football was too great to drop the game entirely, and coaching provided a way for him to stay involved with it after his retirement. Despite opportunities to immediately coach professionally, Chiu didn’t feel the timing was quite right. “I still have a lot to learn about the game of football, and I think [Concordia] is a great place for me to be,” he said. “I have some security here right now, and I’m comfortable here. I just feel like it’s more rewarding for me to get the 17-yearold kids out of high school who want nothing more than to become pro football players, and if I can help those guys out, all the better.” While Chiu admits he is reaping the rewards of his coaching experience, the long workdays make it difficult for him to spend time with his family during the season. “When I was a player I did fourand-a-half-hour shifts. Here at Concordia, I’m in the office at around 7:30, 8 o’clock in the morning, and I’ll be getting home at 9, 10 o’clock every day. The long 15hour days can be taxing during the season,” he said. “I can go three, four days without seeing my kids because they’re asleep when I get home and I’m out

the door before the sun rises. There was a little period of adjustment there, but having an understanding wife certainly helps.” Chiu admits that once in a while he still gets the itch to get back on the field, but he is content with his new role as a leader from the sidelines, instead of at the position he dominated for over a decade. As a former professional athlete, he understands that, while it does serve as an advantage in coaching, his experience as a college player helps him relate to his players better. Having been in their shoes, he knows what it takes to get to the next level, and this invaluable experience will no doubt serve great purpose to the up and coming stars not only on the Stingers offensive line, but to the entire roster. “Seeing these kids mature and helping them balance not only football, but their academics, jobs, and personal lives, it makes you much more than just a coach to them,” he said. “It makes you a counsellor, and for the out-of-town kids, the coaches are like their father figures. The best thing about this job is being able to have a positive influence on these kids.”

out the game. By the end of the second period, Huskies were leading 3-0, but fans were unable to see if the Horns would turn the game around due to unsafe ice conditions. During intermission, the ice resurfacing machine leaked fluid onto the ice, and employees were unable to get the machine off the ice. Due to these circumstances, the third period will be rescheduled at a date to be determined.

Pronghorn Highlights Soccer Men: Oct. 1, in Langley, BC. The Trinity Western team defeated the Horns 3-0. Women: Oct. 1, in Abbotsford, BC. The Fraser Valley Cascades defeated the Horns 2-0. Rugby Oct. 2, in a home game our women won an impressive 52-7 against the fifthranked Alberta Pandas.

Procrastination Ski Ninjas

meliorist the

October 6, 2011 • 22

Crossword

Piled Higher and Deeper

CUP | by BestCrosswords.com

Across 1- Head and shoulders sculpture; 5- Milan’s La ; 10- Hang-up; 14- Draft classification; 15- Histological stain; 16- Abound; 17- Sleep disorder; 19Pearl Mosque city; 20- Computer availability; 21- Half-pike; 23- Science of bodies at rest; 25- Muzzle; 26- Absolute; 28- More spine-tingling; 31Drinks (as a cat); 34- Part of Q.E.D.; 36- Not o’er; 37- Author Umberto; 38- Apprised; 40- kwon do; 41- Palpitate; 43- Biblical birthright seller; 44Second letter of the Greek alphabet; 45- Foursome; 47- Diamond flaw?; 49- Aspect; 51- One playing alone; 55- Vision in dim light; 58- Tin alloy; 59Anklebones; 60- Fertilize an animal; 62- Presidential battleground state; 63- Silk cotton; 64- Netman Nastase; 65- Auth. unknown; 66- Habituate; 67- Seemingly forever;

Sudoku

Down 1- Additional pay; 2- Not appropriate; 3- Simmons rival; 4- Roman historian; 5- Chosen; 6- Cedar Rapids college; 7- Cairo cobras; 8- Does a Daffy Duck impression; 9- Whatever person; 10- Height; 11- Bargain; 12- Dynamic beginning; 13- Fed; 18- Drop; 22- Very much; 24- Open a tennis match; 27- Bluffer’s ploy; 29- Coup d’___; 30- Greek fertility goddess, flightless bird; 31- Riga resident; 32- Dull pain; 33- Case; 35- Autocratic Russian rulers; 38- Bahamanian island; 39- Continental inhabitant; 42- Speech; 44Chocolate chewy cake; 46- Portray; 48- Designer Cassini; 50- Stopwatchholder; 52- Author Calvino; 53- Take hold; 54- Forest makeup; 55- Portico; 56- “All the Way” lyricist Sammy; 57- Capital city of Western Samoa; 61Baseball stat;

Unicorn Find

Reform needed to accommodate lazy students Steps must be taken for universities to reach out to the large and growing lazy student demographic The Cord and Barbara Ciochon (Wilfred Laurier University)

Find the Unicorn! Somewhere in this week’s paper this Unicorn is hiding. Email einc@themeliorist.ca with the page it’s on as well as a brief description of where you found it. At the end of the month we’ll draw a few names for a special prize. You can only be entered once per week, but you can re-enter every issue.

WATERLOO, Ont. (CUP) — With extensive analysis into the university curriculum, I have come to an unsettling conclusion regarding the way that lectures are delivered, assignments and exams designed and the extent of professors’ expectations; all of the aforementioned neglect to cater to students who do not give a rat’s ass about education. Fortunately, universities stand in a unique position to salvage dropping overall program GPAs and could save thousands of dollars if the following recommendations are considered, rather than paying expensive consultant fees to deal with this demographic of students. To begin, professors’ lectures provide such students with little direction when it comes to identifying important information. Rather than including unnecessary filler

information, professors would find it easier to reach these students by mentioning only vital points that will indefinitely be found on exams or used in assignments. PowerPoint presentations should avoid including too much text as this is more often than not overwhelming. Instead, pictures can tell the same story with lessons becoming a game of Pictionary with bonus points and snacks awarded to the lucky winners. Where pictures are deemed inadequate to use in lecture, South Park and Family Guy episodes can always serve as a second best alternative. Assignments, on the other hand, serve as perhaps the greatest obstacle among this group of students in reaching success. Essay topics are often outdated, irrelevant and uninteresting. Students would be better off writing about people who matter in the current day, like Robert Pattinson, Kanye West and Snooki as opposed

to focusing on the same bunch of dead guys over and over again. Similarly, rather than reporting on the state of the Canadian economy, an analysis of the state of The Situation’s abs is considerably more interesting and relevant to a political science class given the threat that he poses to human [female] security, for example. Equally important is the need for professors to change the way that they deal with this demographic of students. Too often, professors suspect that students with virtually no trace of participation in the class, as well as an overall, low grade often provide illegitimate excuses for missed classes, late assignments and exam deferrals. Yet, I choose to vouch for these individuals as I have found through my own research that these students have on average, particularly weak immune systems, terrible luck with laptops and are more susceptible to mental and emotional breakdowns,

all of which contribute to their poor attendance and performance. All in all, post-secondary institutions have consistently favored cookie-cutter, do-your-work-andgo-to-class students and consequently, do not accommodate students who would rather take part in daily Call of Duty: Black Ops marathons instead of making something of themselves. As such, a significant overhaul of the university curriculum must take place in order to reach out to these students and embrace their unique — although often assumed, nonexistent — learning style. Indeed, universities have the capability to foster a more inclusive learning environment that welcomes students of all academic backgrounds and varying levels of laziness. And to those worried about prestige, I say “Maclean’s rankings shmankings.”

classifieds Career and Employment Services JOBS JOBS JOBS!!! WELCOME BACK EVERYONE!! Let us introduce you to CES CES is a student service office dedicated to assisting you with your Career and Job Search needs. We’re within the Career Resources Centre in AH154, along with Applied Studies and the Management and Arts & Science Cooperative Education programs. CRC office hours are 9am - 12pm and 1pm - 4pm Monday-Friday. Go to our website for more detailed information on our services: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

UP-COMING EMPLOYER INFORMATION BOOTHS & SESSIONS:

positions for NEXT YEAR! Fulltime positions can start any time between January and September 2012, while summer positions generally start in May. Employers often come to campus to conduct their interviews. You must sign up for OCR in CES! (AH154) Go to our website: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces for more information.

OCR POSTINGS •

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Please sign up in CES to get times and locations (AH154 or ces.

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students@uleth.ca)!!

Information Sessions •

Jet Programme Oct 19 6-7:30pm

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Devon Canada Oct 25 6-8pm

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CMA Information Session Nov 8 – 6-7:30pm

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Operation Wallacea Nov 16 11am-1pm

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WORKSHOPS to October 21: Please SIGN UP for workshops at CES (AH154) or email ces.

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students@uleth.ca

CES Resume/Cover Letter Workshops: * Wed, Oct 12, 12-2:30pm * Tues, Oct 18, 3-5:30pm * Fri, Oct 21, 10am-12:30pm

CES Interview Workshops:

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Encana, Calg – Accounting Summer Students CMA/CGA (Sep 29) Cargill, Varioius Locations – Various Summer Positions (Oct 28) Richardson International – Various Locations – AgriBusiness Summer Students; Agri-Business Full Time Assistants (Nov 28) Epcor, Edm – Management Development Program (Sep 30) Agrium, Cgy – New Grad Rotation Accounting (CMA/CGA/CFA) & Finance (Oct 7) Husky, Various Locations – Various Summer Positions (Oct 14) TD Canada Trust, Various Locations – Commercial Banking Associate (Oct 31) Parrish & Heimbecker, Bow Island/Mossleigh/Vulcan – Agribusiness & Agronomy Summer Positions (Dec 15) College Pro, Leth – Summer Franchise Managers (Nov 15) Bayer CropScience, Various Locations – 2012 Summer Sales Associates (Nov 8) Devon Canada, Grand Prairie – Business Information & Tech Field Summer Student; Cgy – Business & Informaiton Tech Summer Student; Operations Accounting Student (Oct 14) Monsanto, Various Locations – Technology Development Assistant; DEKALB Assistant; Canola Agronomist (Nov 18)

* Wed, Oct 19, 11am-1:30pm

CES Career Portfolios Workshops: * Fri, Oct 14, 10-11:30am * Mon, Oct 17, 1-2:30pm

CES Networking Workshops: * Fri, Oct 14, 1-2pm * Tue, Oct 18, 10:40am-12pm * Thur, Oct 20, 1:40-4pm

ON-CAMPUS RECRUITING (OCR) On-Campus Recruiting is the process by which employers recruit students for full-time and summer

For information on all the below positions and to apply before October 11, 2011, visit: http://jobs-emplois.gc.ca/psr-rp/ index-eng.htm

October 6, 2011 • 23

PART-TIME • • • • • •

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Interested in Working for the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT?? The Post-Secondary Recruitment Campaign – Fall 2011 (PSR) runs from September 15 to October 11 2011. During this time, applications will be accepted. Check out what this year’s campaign has to offer! PSR is an annual program designed to recruit graduates into entry-level officer jobs with the federal government across Canada. Targeted university and college graduate recruitment is ongoing and PSR is a sure way to attract talented graduates to help deliver quality programs and services to Canadians.

the

Foreign Affairs & International • Foreign Services Officer Political/Economic • Foreign Services Officer Commercial/Economic • Management Consular Officer • Commerce Officer • Policy Officer Analyst – EC Development Program (Economics/Sociology of Stats Majors) Careers in Business & Social Sciences Careers in Health Science Careers in Information Technology Careers in Program Delivery & Support (Accounting/ Management/Economics/ Finance/Human Resources/ Marketing/IT/Humanities Majors Careers in Pure, Natural & Applied Sciences CS-01 Programmer, IT Application Development Financial Auditors and Internal Auditors Mathematical Statisticians Program Officers – Apprenticeship Program (Commerce or Management Majors) Accelerated Economist Training Program

* Fri, Oct 7, 1-3:30pm * Tue, Oct 11, 3-5:30pm

meliorist

InStore, Various Locations – Tasters for Demonstration (Dec 31) TD Canada Trust, Leth – Customer Services Rep (Oct 31) Independent Employer, Raymond – Respite Services (Oct 10) Alpenland Ski & Sports, Leth – Part Time Employees (Oct 15) Launch, Leth – Retail Brand Ambassador (Oct 21) YWCA, Cgy – Evening/ Weekend Supervisor; Evening/Weekend Registrar (Oct 7) Nintendo, Leth – Promotional Reps (Oct 10) Tompkins Jewellers, Leth – Saturday Sales Associate (Oct 26) Future Shop, Leth – Seasonal Sales Associate; Seasonal Customer Services Rep; Seasonal Gaming & DVD/CD Sales Rep; Seasonal Merchandiser (Nov 1)

FULL TIME • • • • •

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KWB, Edm – Accounting Tech (Oct 31) BCT Structures, Leth – General Labourers (Oct 31) Dillon Consulting, Toronto – Professional Consultant (Oct 31) Cargill, Various Locations – Various Positions (Oct 28) T.E. Consulting, Cgy – Financial Consultant; Investment Counsellor (Oct 13) Saint-Gobain Abrasives, Montreal/Winnipeg/Cgy – Industrial Field Positions (Nov 1) Streamline Automation,

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Cgy – CNC Application Technologist/International Installation Tech (Oct 30) AUX Sable, Cgy – Commercial Operations Analyst; Field Development Analyst (Oct 31) TD Canada Trust, Various Locations – TD Agriculture Services Associate; Financial Services Rep Trainee (Oct 31) First Nations Technical Services Advisory Group, Edm – Training & Outreach Coordinator (Oct 14) U.S. Commercial Service, Cgy – Volunteer Internship Program (Oct 21) Alpenland Ski & Sports, Leth – Full Time Employees (Oct 15) Piikani Nation Administration, Brocket – CEO (Oct 11) Cargill, Viking – Agronomist in Training (Oct 28) Alltech, Cgy – Office Manager (Nov 1) AgCareers, Various Locations, Various Agricultural Positions (Oct 21) MD of Foothills31, High River – Roads Use Technologist (Oct 7) Excel Homes, Leth – Estimator (Oct 31) TrojanOne, Analyst Consulting Group – Sport Marketing; Senior Analyst, Consulting Group (Oct 7) ERBC, Cgy – Recruiter (Oct 31) YWCA, Cgy – Partnerships Assistant (Oct 12) Medicine Hat College – Rural Strength & Conditioning Coach (Oct 11) Quadra, Grande Prairie – Account Sales Manager (Oct 31) Olds Institute, Olds – Sustainability Team Leader (Oct 14) Boys & Girls Clubs of Calg – Youth Worker (Oct 14) Calgary Family Services

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– Homecare Clinical Supervisor (Oct 15) Woods Homes, Leth – Family Support Counsellor (Nov 4)

INTERNATIONAL •

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CISC, Beijing – Legal Internships with Leading International Law Firm (Oct 22) Pegasus Recruiting, South Korea – Teachers in South Korea (Dec 31) Walt Disney International Programs, USA – Walt Disney World International College Program (Dec 31) Aclipse, Thailand/South Korea – Teach English in Asia with Aclipse (Dec 31) Avalon – Teach English in South Korea (Oct 30) Scotia Personnel Ltd – Daycare jobs in Bermuda; Child Care in USA; Teaching in South Korea; Hospitality/Hotel Jobs across UK; Child Care in Europe, UK, Asia, Australia; Daycare in Nova Scotia; Children’s Camps in UK & Italy (Dec 31) Disco International, Boston/Los Angeles – Japanese-English Career Forums (Nov 13) China Internship Program – 2011 Internship Programs (Oct 30) S-Trip – Various Locations – Destination Staff (Dec 1) ACLE, Italy – Summer Camp Tutoring 2012 (Mar 15) Youth Challenge International, Costa Rica – Youth Ambassadors (Oct 14) Aclipse, South Korea – Teach English in Asia-Travel & Earn Money! (May 31)

• For details of the postings and information on the application processes go to www.uleth.ca/ross/ ces and check out the WorkopolisCampus Postings section.