The Meliorist Volume 45, Issue 17

meliorist the

your independent student newspaper

For the week of Thursday, January 19 • Volume 45, Issue 17

Campus beat

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 2

Janet Barriage Campus Reporter For more information on contributing to Campus Beat, please contact Janet Barriage, campus.beat@themeliorist.ca

What’s happening on

Is it Reading Week yet?

Getting back to the grind

If you want to see your event posted in the “Beat,” please contact campus.beat@themeliorist. ca for more information. Events must be submitted by Sunday evening to appear in the following issue of the Meliorist.

Janet Barriage Campus Beat

ULSU Soles 4 Souls Jan. 16 – 20 Around

the

U

of

L

Campus

Boxes will be placed around campus for you to drop off your extra shoes for a good cause! If you have any questions, check out the website at www.soles4souls.org.

Meltdown 2012 Carnival Jan. 19 – 20

Janet Barriage Campus Beat

Welcome back! How was your break? Long enough? I hope so because it’s now time to get back to learning and bettering ourselves as human beings... or at least finishing up that GLER requirement. Either way, it’s time to get back to the grind! Now that the first week of this new semester is behind you, are you looking forward to the coming months?

Was your New Year’s resolution “Go out more, have more fun and meet new people”? Yes, I thought so! There are some great events coming in January and February to help you accomplish that goal.

At The Zoo The first day of this two day event will feature fun and games at The Zoo. Come from noon to 7 p.m. to take part and win some sweet prizes! The new ULSU t-shirt design will also be featured, and I heard a rumour that they will be giving away some free ones.

The second part of this celebration is a cabaret in The Zoo. It takes place on Friday and doors open at 8 p.m. It’s only $5 for a ticket and there will be live DJs, so bring your dancing shoes.

ULSU Health & Dental Plan Opt-

Meltdown is back The Second Annual ULSU Meltdown is a two day event that goes from Jan. 19 – 20. The fun starts at noon in The Zoo and runs until 7 p.m. It’s a carnival with some amazing games with some sweet prizes that include TVs, Zoo gift certificates, Zoo swag packages, and more. The games include the following: basketball, hockey, Guitar Hero, Mario Kart 64, GoldenEye, Wii games, Minute to Win Itstyle games, a Jell-o eating contest,

and anything else the wacky organizers can think of to test your skill!

For every game you win, your name will be entered into a draw to win one of those great prizes.

If you aren’t great at games then have no fear because there will be prizes awarded throughout the day for some mini contests that you’ll just have to attend the event to find out more about. They’ll also be unveiling and giving away some of the new ULSU t-shirts designed by contest winner Riley Miller. This event is free so come on out and have some fun testing your skill with some of these classic games. Or just take great pleasure in watching other people while you enjoy a nice cold one.

On Friday the real party begins – the Meltdown Cabaret. It’s at The Zoo, costs a mere $5 to get in, and doors open at 8 p.m. There will be awesome DJs and if you want to have an idea what it’ll be like, imagine the Fresh Fest Lemon Party but open to everyone, not just first years so no standing in line for an hour just to be turned away, or Oktoberfest without the rain! So everything you could imagine and more. You can get tickets now in the SU office, at The Zoo karaoke night, or at the door.

Student Speaker Challenge If your New Year’s resolution was to learn more (I’m sure that was almost everyone’s, right?) then the following events will be right up your alley. The Student Speaker Challenge starts this month and it’s going to be awesome! The question this year is “Is there a systemic crisis in the world? If so, how can it be resolved?” The SACPA, LPIRG, and the ULSU are building on the idea that a democracy creates an informed public who make the best decisions. Students will be given the chance to communicate their thesis to an audience and defend it.

The speaker series will begin with four noon-hour sessions, each with two speakers addressing the topic and taking questions on their thesis. A winner will be chosen at each of these sessions and will move to the semi-finals.

Two students will then go on to the final session where a sole winner will be selected to receive the final prize. A panel of judges will determine winners at each session.

All of the events will be held in ballroom A (next to The Zoo) in the Students’ Union building.

Tuesday, Jan. 24, 12:15 p.m. - Stephen Graham vs. Michael Orr

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 12:15 p.m.

- Leslie Mahoney vs. Kylie Kettles Tuesday, Feb. 7, 12:15 p.m. - Sea Marsland vs. Madison Webber Wednesday, Feb. 15, 12:15 p.m.

- Martin Heavy Head vs. Danika Jorgenson-McGuire Come on out and support these talented speakers!

reational league but it can also get pretty competitive since they compete for a trophy each semester and by the way, it’s not too late to join and bring home the spring semester trophy! The league fees are $50 per semester and that includes your curling! They curl out

of the Coaldale Curling Club every Sunday from 7 – 9 p.m.

Come out and meet the 37 members in this club! If you missed their table at rush week you can e-mail them at curling.club@uleth.ca.

Bill Nye, The Science Guy The next event you should go to is the ULSU and the GSA Bill Nye event! This is going to be seriously cool. Bill Nye will be speaking on campus on the topics of global warming, pollution and the green movement on Jan. 23.

Doors open at 12 p.m. and the show starts at 1 p.m. It is in the First Choice Savings Centre Gym. Tickets are currently on sale at the ULSU Office in the Students’ Union Building (SU 180) for $3 with all proceeds going toward the ULSU Food Bank. They would like attendees to bring a non-perishable food item to donate to the ULSU Food Bank on the day of the event.

So come learn cool stuff, meet your childhood legend, and donate to a great cause. If you have any questions, e-mail su.academic@uleth. ca.

Out Deadline Jan. 20 For more information about the ULSU Health & Dental Plan and how to optout, check out http://ulsu.ca/?p=20, the Bridge, or the ULSU office at SU180.

Big Band Cabaret Jan. 21 8 p.m. – 11 p.m. in the U of L Ballrooms

Club Hub The U of L Mixed Curling Club Janet Barriage Campus Beat

in the Students’ Union Building This is a great chance to get dressed up, have a fancy night out, and watch the talent our school has to offer. There will be a silent auction and the proceeds will go to help the future of the big band and music department students. Tickets are available at the U of L box office, by phone at (403) 329-2616, or in the atrium for $25 each or $160 for a table of eight. Cash or cheque only.

The ULSU and GSA present: Bill Nye Jan. 23 12 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. in the First Choice Savings Centre Gymnasium Tickets are still available at the Students’ Union office (SU180) for $3.

All proceeds go toward the ULSU Food Bank.

NFB Film Club presents The Chocolate Farmer Jan. 25 7 p.m. in the U of L Library room L1168 This is a 71-minute documentary. In an unspoiled corner of southern Belize, cacao farmer Eladio Pop works his plantation in the tradition of his Mayan ancestors. A tender and moving tale, this lush cinematic journey captures a year in the life of the Pop family as they struggle to preserve their values in a dramatically changing world. It’s free to attend!

Curling is one of those uniquely Canadian past times and although we might be a bit embarrassed about it, we’ve all played and very likely enjoyed it at one time or another. And how can you not have a great time? Sliding around on ice, getting a little competitive, throwing big rocks into other big rocks (the sound is oddly soothing), and enjoying an after-game beverage while you fight over who hurried the hardest.

If you are like me and think we should proudly play this delightful game then you will be happy to hear about the U of L Mixed Curling Club. They are hosting their 29th annual bonspiel this March.

This is the major event that the club hosts every year and last year they had 15 teams sign up for the themed bonspiel. The theme was “Be Your Own Party Animal” and the teams did a great job getting into the animalistic spirit.

This year the bonspiel will run from March 9 – 11 and its theme will be “Superheroes vs. Villains.”

Not only is this weekend full of friendly competition, there is also a “Name That Tune” night on Friday, and a dance and supper on Saturday. Sound like fun? Then convince three of your friends to

join you and sign your team up for a fun-filled weekend. If you are interested in entering a team you can e-mail them at curling.club@ uleth.ca.

The U of L Mixed Curling Club is open to both experienced and beginner curlers. This is a rec-

news

the

meliorist

January 19, 2011 • 3

Sara Parkin News Editor For more information on contributing to News, please contact Sara Parkin, n.editor@themeliorist.ca

A lethal trend in illegal drugs Sara Parkin News Editor

A lethal new trend in the production of ecstasy has Calgary police warning citizens to steer clear of the street drug. Ecstasy laced with a rare and dangerous drug, paramethoxymethamphetamine (PMMA), has been linked to five recent deaths in the Calgary area; methamphetamine was also found to be present in the toxicology reports of the five victims.

The Calgary Police Service said in a release that they have never before seen these two chemicals used in ecstasy, and they warned that the combination may be fatal.

Not only has PMMA been linked to deaths in Alberta, but it has recently come to light that the dangerous compound has been linked to five cases in British Columbia as well. The office of B.C.’s chief coroner Lisa Lapointe conducted a review of the province’s 16 ecstasy deaths in 2011 and two in 2012 upon hearing of instances of PMMA being found in Alberta. The results of the review found PMMA to be present in

the ecstasy that was responsible for the overdoses of three males and two females.

Calgary police have said that much of the ecstasy found in the city comes from the Lower Mainland of B.C. but it is still unclear whether the same batch of ecstasy is responsible for the deaths in both provinces. An investigation is being completed by health and law enforcement officials to determine if and how the drugs consumed in B.C. and Calgary are linked to each other.

Many of those who have died in recent ecstasy-related cases were hospitalized with temperatures soaring above 40 C. Along with causing dangerously high body temperatures, the new way of cutting ecstasy has also been known to cause other extreme symptoms, such a seizures and total-body muscle contraction.

Along with the recent spate of deaths, health officials have noticed a disturbing increase in the number of hospitalizations, individuals who have ingested the drug with adverse effects and survived.

PMMA is five times more toxic

than ecstasy itself. The compound is said to be less expensive to produce and can be easily made to resemble regular ecstasy pills, hence its newfound popularity with street drug producers. Perhaps one of the most dangerous qualities of PMMA is its delayed onset. Ecstasy pills that have been cut with PMMA will take much longer to take effect than other forms of the drug, so unsuspecting

people are consuming more pills and increasing their chances of a fatal overdose.

It is unclear whether any of the batches of ecstasy containing PMMA or methamphetamine have reached Lethbridge, but it is a distinct possibility. Police in the city have yet to find any PMMA-laced ecstasy on our streets, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t made its way here.

It has long been known that there are dangers associated with the consumption of illicit drugs. Ecstasy is notoriously known for being cut with other compounds and the reality is that you never know what you’re getting when buying street drugs; there are absolutely no controls in place for the manufacturing of illegal drugs. Health and law enforcement officials are urging people to stay away from ecstasy.

A common manufacturing practice for ecstasy, where a large batch will be produced in a bathtub, often means that two pills taken from the same batch of ecstasy will not necessarily have the same composition.

Also, drugs can affect each person differently based on a number of different factors. Due to these and other risks, if a person is still planning to ingest illicit drugs they should do so with extreme caution; keeping in mind the delayed-onset and extreme toxicity of PMMA, illegal-drug-users should avoid a potentially fatal overdose by ingesting no more than one pill.

B.C. report calls for drug policy review

Health Officers Council suggests provinces should move toward regulation, not criminalization

Brandon Rosario

The Martlet (University of Victoria)

VICTORIA (CUP) — The Health Officers Council (HOC) of British Columbia is calling on all levels of government to review and reassess their current prohibition-oriented drug policies.

In a report released on Nov. 29, titled “Public Health Perspectives for Regulating Psychoactive Substances,” the group — a professional association of B.C. physicians — outlined their vision of an alternative regulatory framework for currently illegal drugs that would bring the entire market under societal control. “[The] HOC is bringing attention to this issue because the adverse public health impacts associated with psychoactive substances are substantial and largely preventable,” said HOC chair Dr. Paul Hasselback in a press release.

“Benefit opportunities are being missed, and we feel that more attention needs to be paid to the needless human suffering that continues to accrue,” he said.

The report classified alcohol, tobacco and caffeine as “psychoactive substances,” along with prescription medication, methamphetamine, cocaine, marijuana and heroin, among others.

It claims that stringent government control over the production and distribution of these substances will minimize harms by placing consumption at a midpoint between two extremes: unregulated legalization and prohibition. Utilizing an approach similar to the current regulation of alcohol and tobacco, the measures suggested in the report would create an environment where drug users are demarginalized and supported by clinical programs that facilitate harm reduction.

By nature, this approach would require a move

away from criminalization.

“The evidence reviewed by the HOC suggests that the focus on criminality in relation to drug use has not only failed to halt the spread of illegal drugs, but is also interfering with the ability to reduce harm,” says the report.

The HOC argues that in addition to increasing both public and individual health, legalization and regulation of psychoactive substances would eliminate a billion-dollar black market industry bankrolled by organized crime.

This sentiment is echoed by the B.C. Civil Liberties Association (BCCLA), which offered its immediate support for the HOC’s recommendations, using the long-standing and often cited marijuana example to offer their own criticism of the status-quo.

“By making cannabis taboo, our society both prohibits and makes more alluring its use ... But instead of recognizing that and taxing it like

tobacco and liquor products, with the tax revenue going to the cost of education and care, we leave the massive profits of this industry to organized crime and leave taxpayers with the bill for police efforts to contain it,” said BCCLA executive director Robert Holmes in the organization’s Nov. 29 press release.

Research included in the HOC report shows that there is no longterm correlation between increased enforcement and decreased substance use, pointing out that 55 per cent of all prisoners in American federal institutions are jailed in connection to drug offences — a prison population greater than all European countries combined.

Yet, despite the country’s heavy-handed stance on drug related crimes, it still exhibits one of the world’s highest rates of substance use.

Impacts related to non-prescription psychoactive substances are estimated by the HOC to account

for 21 per cent of Canadian deaths at a cost of $40 billion per year.

Tobacco comprises 43 per cent of these costs, alcohol 36 per cent and illegal substances 21 per cent.

“Money that is currently spent on enforcement could be redirected to social, education and health services, where evidence suggests it will have a much greater impact,” the report said.

The Green Party of B.C. has also publicly endorsed the HOC report, though provincial leader Jane Sterk expressed her wariness toward the inevitable political implications that would arise from the organization’s ambitious and multifaceted call for drug policy reform.

“B.C. Greens ... support the suggestion that we need to review the profit motive behind the promotion and use of these products,” said Sterk.

“While in theory B.C. Greens think such a commission would lead to transformative change, we see too much partisan

ideology in governments to support such a scientific, evidence-based and common sense approach.”

With the recent passing of the federal Conservative Party’s omnibus crime bill in the House of Commons — a collection of previous crime-related bills that includes mandatory minimum sentencing for marijuana production — Sterk’s comments on partisanship and drug reform are realized.

But according to the BCCLA, the HOC report is a step in the right direction, regardless of whether or not it is politically feasible.

“The story about the Emperor’s new clothes is replayed time and again by governments unwilling to own up to realities,” says Holmes.

“Public health professionals in B.C. are right to point out that our current chaotic and contradictory drug laws and policies need to be reviewed against scientific evidence of what works to reduce consumption, social harms, and costs.”

meliorist 4 •January 19, 2011 the

news

Vulcan man found murdered Sara Parkin News Editor

The search for a 77-year-old Vulcan man ended in tragedy on Saturday, Jan. 14, when the RCMP found the remains of Otto “Bunty” Loose, who appeared to have been the victim of a murder. The RCMP announced late last Monday afternoon that two people have been charged for the alleged murder.

A 35-year-old man and a 28-yearold woman from Claresholm were arrested without incident on Monday morning in connection with the case. The accused man is expected to be charged with first-degree murder, committing an indignity to human remains, as well as kidnapping and forcible confinement.

The man’s 28-year-old commonlaw wife could be facing charges for being an accessory to murder, as well as obstruction of justice. A court date is yet to be set.

The RCMP believe that Loose was abducted from his home in Vulcan on the night of Sunday, Jan. 8 before being transported in his own SUV to nearby Nanton and Claresholm.

The RCMP believes that the accused then attempted a number of suspicious financial transactions using an ATM, as well as a written cheque, all while holding Loose against his will.

Loose is believed to have been murdered in a rural location before his remains were taken, disposed of, and eventually found by police in a remote wooded area near Claresholm.

The victim’s SUV was found in southwest Calgary on Wednesday,

Jan. 11, and evidence retrieved from the vehicle helped the RCMP to identify suspects in the case. An air and ground search from Loose’s property in Vulcan to Calgary took place in the days following his disappearance which, along with information provided by the public, lead to the eventual discovery of Loose’s vehicle and ultimately his remains.

Evidence has been gathered from banks in Nanton and Claresholm, including ATM surveillance footage of someone trying to use Loose’s bank card. Police were apparently

Outbreak!

Norovirus at National CUP Conference leaves student journalists under the weather Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief

Like many student newspapers in Canada, the Meliorist is a member of CUP (Canadian University Press) and as such several of our staff attended the Nash 74 conference held in Victoria, B.C. this past week. The conference kicked off with sessions from professional journalists, and keynote speakers including Anna Maria Tremonti of CBC’s The Current, as well as many other noted individuals in the journalism field (keep an eye out next week for a full run-down of events).

Unlike the regular events of the conference, which passed typically without incident, the media descended on the Harbour Towers Hotel and Suites in Victoria, B.C. after receiving word of a norovirus (aka Norwalk) outbreak at the conference. The CBC, CTV and other news broadcasters and publications all ran stories on the outbreak, which affected between 30 and 70 students and invoked a voluntary quarantine at the hotel.

While none of the Meliorist staff fell ill, many other students at the conference were affected, and some were forced to stay in Victoria until their symptoms subsided. Healthy delegates were asked to change their flights and leave Victoria early to try to avoid catching the virus.

Following an investigation, in-

formation has been released stating that the cause of the virus is still unknown but it does not appear to be food-related. In addition to students, organizers of the event, along with hotel staff, have also come down with the virus, which is typically not fatal despite being extremely contagious. Symptoms of norovirus include profuse vomiting and diarrhoea and only a few cases at the conference resulted in hospitalization.

From the conference, Matt Baird, a delegate from the Meliorist had this to say, “The norovirus didn’t have anything to do [with the conference] at all. Saturday night the symptoms started, and we were told to stay in our rooms after the remaining festivities were cancelled.”

He went on to say that early in the outbreak the majority of delegates were unconcerned with the news of the event, stating that most students thought it to be a case of food poisoning or over-drinking.

“Twitter became the catalyst for the media to catch on to this event,” Baird continued, referencing the massive tweeting frenzy that spurred mass-media interest in the event. With the outbreak, plenary sessions for CUP were cancelled and the organizers will be in contact with the various delegates later to determine further action for the organization this year.

able to track the suspects using Loose’s banking records.

Loose signed a cheque that was made out to the suspect that was later cashed, and RCMP believe he did so under duress.

The cause of death is expected to be determined by an autopsy later this week. The RCMP says they have a strong positive visual identification of the victim.

Loose had last been seen at a Petro Canada gas station in Vulcan on the night of Sunday, Jan. 8 before being reported as missing by his

daughter on the following evening.

The accused man is said to have befriended Loose approximately a year and a half ago. The RCMP has expressed their belief that Loose had been targeted in the long run purely for financial gain.

Retired from grain farming for over a decade, Loose had continued to live on his rural property approximately 10 kilometres outside of Vulcan. A long-time Vulcan resident, Loose was known around town for his caring and trusting nature.

Friends and family had been hold-

ing out hope that Loose would be discovered alive, hopes which were tragically ended following the RCMP’s announcement last Monday.

Several RCMP detachments and investigative units were involved in the investigation, more than 50 officers helped in the search for Otto “Bunty” Loose. They have been lauded for their efforts and have since thanked the Calgary police, Fish and Wildlife officers, and local search-and-rescue groups for the important information they provided during the investigation.

features

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 5

Matt Baird Features Editor For more information on contributing to Features, please contact Matt Baird, f.editor@themeliorist.ca

SOPA, PIPA, and other acronyms that you should dislike

On anti-piracy bills that will break the internet, and the people who support them

Priority: High 78% leeching

22% seeding

Supporting

Opposing

Corporations (61 total), including:

Corporations (17 total), including:

Xerox, Disney, Ford, NFL, News Corp., Nike etc.

PIPA By the time you read this in the concrete bunker that you should have fashioned last week, the world may be a very different place. I hope to god you packed a can-opener and a spare pair of glasses in there, because when you pop your head out to garner a look at what I can only imagine is the hell-soaked devastation, a small Twilight Zone-inspired voice may call out from the depths of your sobbing soul: “It’s not fair!”

This is the aftermath of Wikipedia, Reddit, Boing Boing, and possibly various others going dark on Jan. 18.

I’m kidding, of course. But for those of you who have managed to find this freshly minted copy of the Meliorist amidst the rubble of your post-Wikipedia blackout campus, you are probably well aware of two bills that have been getting a bunch of media attention both online and in print: SOPA (Stop Online Piracy

Visa, Amex, Google, Yahoo, CDT, Reporters without Borders

$ 4,622,215

$ 3,487,091

Senatorial campaign contributions by supporting interest groups

Act) and PROTECTIP (Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act of 2011). The reason for a global blackout of the sixth most popular website on the internet (as per Alexa web statistics) is because of the threat to internet security, innovation, and access to the internet in its current state.

SOPA and PROTECTIP represent two attempts by American lobbyists and legislators to combat what they perceive to be a very real threat to America and its economy: copyright infringement.

SOPA, (aka H.R. 3261), introduced by Lamar Smith (R-TX) on Oct. 26, 2011, and PIPA, (aka S. 968), introduced by Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT) on May 12, 2011, are bills designed to provide the means and legislative tools required by the U.S. Justice Department, and various copyright holders in the United States, to seek court orders against websites that are perceived as aiding or abetting copyright infringement. In other words, any website that is deemed to enable or facilitate copyright infringement would be under attack because of this bill. As such, websites would be responsible for content that could be deemed to violate a held copyright by supporters such as Disney, Sony, Time Warner, or the Electronic Software Association. In addition, these cor-

porations, as well as entities such as the MPAA and RIAA, could block the DNS location of those websites altogether through pressures put on both Internet Service Providers, and the U.S. Attorney General.

For websites with user-generated content such as Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, DeviantArt, Youtube, and Facebook, this means they would have to police their own websites, taking down any content that the holder deems inappropriate. Take a minute and consider all the copyrighted content you see daily on the internet while simply browsing, and consider the repercussions if the websites hosting that content were forced to remove it, or the user generating the content in the first place.

Additionally, this would lead to the reduction of start up companies and innovation online: so much money would have to be poured into keeping user-generated content in line that not much would be left for expanding and exploring new branches of innovation.

Other problems include the following: Anti-circumvention provisions If the DNS of a website is blocked, the website would still be accessible by simply typing in the direct IP of the location. This has lead to the creation of Firefox add-ons such

Senatorial campaign contributions by opposing interest groups

as DeSOPA, which is a one-touch solution to the problem posed by the blacklisting of websites. Its developer, T Rizk, notes that it “simply contacts offshore domain name resolution services to obtain the IP address for any desired website, and accesses those websites directly via IP.” In other words, while SOPA would nail the front door of a website closed, savvy internet users could simply go through the back.

However, anti-circumvention provisions in the bill would prosecute tools such as DeSOPA, as well as websites with links that bypass the blacklisting.

Immunity to Service Providers A provision that the Electronic Frontier Foundation has dubbed “the ‘Vigilante’ provision” would allow service providers to “overblock innocent users or block sites voluntarily with no judicial oversight at all” so long as the intermediaries are working in what they believe to be “in good faith” and have “credible evidence.” Naturally, this is like leaving all the Halloween candy on your doorstep: someone is going to abuse the privilege. The provision would allow the MPAA and RIAA literally to create blacklists and then enforce them without any legal oversight using their considerable influence.

Recently, the White House has come out against the bill, stating that “While we believe that online piracy by foreign websites is a serious problem that requires a serious legislative response, we will not support legislation that reduces freedom of expression, increases cybersecurity risk, or undermines the dynamic, innovative global internet.”

While it seems unlikely that SOPA will even reach the floor of congress given the media and congressional backlash, PIPA is scheduled to go to the senate floor on Jan. 24. As such, many organizations who oppose the two bills, including Google, Twitter, and Wikipedia (as well as any other website you couldn’t access yesterday) demand not a reworking of the bills, but their demolition altogether.

Financial information provided by Opensecrets.org

Priority: High 63% leeching

37% seeding

Supporting

Opposing

Corporations (150 total), including:

Corporations (88 total), including:

Times Warner, Sony, Viacom, Ford, Wal-Mart, RIAA, MPAA etc.

$ 4,381,680

Representational campaign contributions by supporting interest groups

Twitter, Wikipedia, Tumblr, Mozilla, Facebook, Google etc.

$ 1,344,241

Representational campaign contributions by opposing interest groups

SOPA

the

Features

meliorist

6 • January 19, 2011

Olivier O’Brien Features Writer

A dame walked in. Not the most exciting entrance but my office is a place of business and I try to keep my mind on the job. Bob cut and fur mantle, and the silk wasn’t the new artificial stuff neither – a real flapper. Somebody’s bread had set the broad up real nice. But I was about eight ounces into this morning’s latest batch of skull-cracker so she didn’t need the decorating.

That being said, she looked more waned than waxed. “Mr. Pursuant, I would like to contract you out for a... delicate assignment.” Great, rich girl had seen too many talkies.

I struck a Lucky Strike and from the dulcet tones of her voice I figured I should light her one too. I don’t like to smoke but this job is half image, and a dick had to be hard if a dame was gonna trust him to get the job done. “I’m open for business.

What’s your name miss?”

“Harriet, you may call me Harriet.” There was something strange in her intonation. She was holding something back in her speech, an accent maybe?

“You’ll have to lay it out for me before I make any promises.” I tried my best to cut through the haze of my Sterno-in-a-sock breakfast and appear professional. She seemed pleased with the effort when she responded, “I need you to find a case

and return it to me without tampering with it. I lost track of it at the rail station here on a layover between New York and San Francisco.”

I was too busy trying to nail down her accent to think of a good reply, but that’s never stopped me from talking. “Maybe you ought to check with the lost and found at the station, miss.”

“I know it was stolen, und with a purpose.” Christ, she was a jerry!

She seemed to have noticed the slip too. “It was the only thing taken, un- and there was a man missing from my carriage.”

“And what precisely was in this case?”

“Important documents from my uncle’s company. Their publication spells our ruin.” Damn, this kraut couldn’t spell sausage, and I didn’t think much of this document’s story either. It was 10 a.m. and the hangover was kicking in; good thing I kept some morphine with my heater. “Who was this missing man?”

“One of the passengers. A short, red haired man. With thick Irish accent and no teeth.” Well damn, that mick Hogan was back in town.

I knew his M.O. anywhere. Lifted valuables on the trips between Detroit and New York, was in real good with the conductors; everyone got a share and he didn’t even have to buy tickets anymore. He was always willing to pawn off the goods, especially if promised a cut of the reward. This was just money on the

table. “Well, hon, I’d be willing to take the case, but what does the reward for retrieval look like?”

“I offer one thousand dollars for a successful retrieval, but if the documents let out, I would simply have no money to give you.” She had just given something away, and once again she knew it – the case had to be cash. Smuggled across borders and out of the reach of tax agencies by an innocent-looking niece. Clever boy, uncle Wilhelm. And damn, what a guy couldn’t get for ten centuries.

That was it, five minutes later I was speeding through rain slicked streets toward my favourite rowdy house, midday sun blinding me as I tried to tie surgical tubing without looking down. I didn’t get the knot done before my stop, the newsstand outside Ginny’s speakeasy. I wanted the paper, sure, but I just wanted the giggle juice more. I trusted Hogan, but not enough to go without my heater, and as a rule I never put more slugs into a gun than I’ve put into myself. I always knew I should have sprung for the extended clip on my 1911. As for my choice of locale, my second rule was never to drink in a place where your clams were grimier than their glasses – keeps you out of trouble with the doorman. Besides, if I was gonna dredge up Hogan, it was here.

But before that I needed a drink, the Sterno always made me feel off.

I don’t know how long it was but

there was a shift change and my pal Sam came in to tend bar. Sam was coloured but that wasn’t the only reason to dislike him. He was a secret dealer and a stool pigeon when rent was due, but he was in real deep with the local clippers; hell, the flatfoots liked him too – nobody could touch him. But a couple of fins had me Hogan’s new digs: a warehouse down by the docks down on 129th. Nice and out of the way.

What can I say? Hogan was good at what he did. The job was half done, so I stayed for another round. The jazz was good tonight – at least their type is good for something.

I stumbled back out into the suddenly dark, wet street, the lights now hopelessly blurred. I managed to pull myself into the cab where I remembered my morphine. I finished my jaunt to the dock, the road seemed slicker than ever, but I got the knot done, and by the time I managed the door the pounding in my head was gone. When I stumbled out, the doll was waiting for me. I tried to pull myself together.

“Miss Harriet, what are you doing here?”

“I simply wanted to insure my uncle’s case was recovered.” Had I been sober I would have figured this suspicious, but hell, I was so out of it I had forgotten to untie the tubing. “Miss Harriet,” I tried to raise my eyes from the flapper’s gams, “I believe I can find your case, but I’ll have to ask you to wait outside.”

Hell, she would wait outside, it was broads what started suffrage, then as soon as they got the vote they turn it on us with temperance.

It seemed darker out. I started out toward Hogan’s, stepping out across the unlit gravel parkade towards his warehouse flat, grim black shapes of faraway buildings made for a blurred pastoral. The door opened and I saw a silhouetted man in front of an amber sun.

Too tall for Hogan, probably the local capo nabbing his cut, whatever he was yelling certainly sounded Italian. Next I knew he had pulled out a heater and was squeezing off rounds my way. I rolled off behind a sedan and tried to pull myself together long enough to get off one, maybe two good shots. Well that’s what I knew I should do. What happened was I saw Harriet’s white dress speeding while I stood up and tried, tried so hard, to level my gun. I sent all seven rounds off towards that amber light, the surgical tubing flailing in my face. The dull roar hardly penetrated my glazed mind, but I think I scored a hit. I saw a burst for sure. I got out from my cover, fresh magazine in hand.

I tripped over something along the way and fell into the mud. I crawled on bloody knuckles up to the doorway where I found one very dead wop. But he wasn’t dressed like any dropper I’d ever seen. All black, army man’s buzz top, and a badge with an eagle. I pocketed the eagle and called out for Harriet. I turned back to the parkade and saw her.

She’d been clipped, through and through. Damn, she looked better as a redhead – the rent is too high on a blonde. I had no way to tell for sure but it looked like it had been my stray round.

Alright, I’m not the best dick, but at least I can cover my tracks.

I ditched my heater – so long to old friends. I checked her, but it looked like she was smart enough not to carry cash. She had another eagle though, and one of them queer German guns with the top loading clips.

I didn’t put it together at the time, hell the dose I was on, I couldn’t put it together – best keep moving. Going back to the warehouse I grabbed the wop’s bean shooter, another foreign piece, but at least it had a clip. Just inside the door I found Hogan, a Harlem sunset in full bloom on his chest. I moved into the dingy building, the overstocked shelves framing a crowded out desk and cot in the far corner. Next to Hogan I saw a copy of the Evening Star, headlines reading “Four Killed in Brutal Train Attack.” I had just enough time to piece together the kind of trouble I was in when I heard a clatter. I looked down and saw it was the needle, finally fallen free. I looked up and saw two goons from a chopper squad, trenchsweepers in tow, levelling them for a hellish spray.

End of part 1

meliorist

Features Bibliophile

the

January 19 , 2011 • 7

The Long Run by Matt Long

Nicki Van Eck Features Bibliophile

Every competitive athlete has to overcome obstacles and push themselves to the limit in order to reach their goals, whether it is running a short distance, or competing in a marathon; Matt Long knew this better than anyone. A New York City firefighter, marathon runner, and Ironman triathlete, Long knew what it meant to push his body to the limit. When he was struck by and dragged under a bus while cycling through the streets of NYC one December morning in 2005, everything he thought he knew about his mental and physical limits, changed.

Long’s book The Long Run drew me in from the very beginning,

when he described his passion for running: what it felt like to run the gruelling 26.2 mile (42.2 km) New York marathon, and his goal to qualify for the Boston marathon, one of the most elite marathons in the world. It’s a feeling that almost every runner knows, even if their goals aren’t quite as lofty as running a marathon. Athletes and nonathletes can appreciate the passion, ambition and dedication that go into accomplishing such extraordinary goals. When he explained how he fell in love with running, and his slow journey into the world of triathlon, I found the whole process very relatable, as I too have gone through a similar journey.

The obstacles that face the average athlete are nothing compared to the obstacles that Long faced after being struck by a bus while riding his

bike to a workout with his friends.

“All they knew was what they saw.

My body – a bloody, butchered, expiring mess. One doctor whispered that it looked as if a bomb had exploded inside my stomach.” Reading as he described the accident, the injuries, the multiple surgeries and blood transfusions, I was filled with all sorts of emotions. He was given only a 5 per cent chance of survival; it makes one wonder how a human body could come back from such horrific injuries. Running was the furthest thing from his mind, and the only thing he was competing for was his life.

Because of the training Long went through to become an elite athlete, his body was able to beat the odds and survive the accident; however, his journey was only beginning. Not only was his body

battered and broken, but he felt he had lost everything that defined him. The doctors told him he would not be able to walk without a cane, which would mean that firefighting, running, and triathlons were a thing of the past.

After a brief battle with depression, Long decided he wasn’t satisfied with the limits his injuries placed on him, and he did what many do not have the guts to do.

He decided that his injuries were not going to hold him back. He was going to run again. I won’t ruin the ending of this story for you, but I will say that I was mesmerized by his journey through his recovery.

The Long Run blew me away, and I think there are two very important lessons that one can take away from it. First, if an individual can come back from what Long went through,

to once again compete in marathons and triathlons, there is no excuse that is good enough for me or any other athlete not to give everything they have, 100 per cent of the time. Secondly and perhaps more importantly, the human body is a fragile thing, and many of the abilities that we take for granted such as running or walking can be taken away in a split second. This book outlines one man’s struggle from an elite athlete to a mangled and bloody mess with barely a chance of survival, to a man never expected to walk again, back to elite athlete. It’s an inspiring book that shows readers there is really no limit to what one’s body can handle, and what one can do if they truly believe they can.

opinions

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 8

Kelti Boissonneault Editor-in-Chief For more information on contributing to The Meliorist, please contact Kelti Boissonneault, einc@themeliorist.ca

Our Truth and Effort

A new controversy for students to ponder Editor-in-Chief

Yes, it is a fact that I look for some of the most controversial subjects with which to entertain and aggravate the few readers that turn to this page. I like to think of it as keeping the readership on their toes, and keeping them actively thinking about problems in the world. Really, however, I’m just satisfying my own inane desire for controversy and staunchly and bull-headedly defending my world view against the heathens (I jest, of course).

Really, what’s life without a halfdecent argument now and again? I like to think expressing my world views then having to defend them keeps me on my toes. It also exposes me to other people’s opinions, which should all be valued, even if I happen to think the people holding them are idiots. The point, after all, is to be engaged in the world around you as a motivated, thinking, and contributing member of society.

So what has me riled up this week? Euthanasia and the debate surrounding a person’s right to end their life without the stigma or emotional trauma of suicide. As we get older so do those around us, and those grandparents we think are invincible start to show the wear that a full life provides. They begin to degenerate in various ways as time inscribes their years and experiences in deep wrinkles, shaking hands, palsied bodies, and garbled minds.

Medical care allows us to keep these people around for often lengthy periods of time that previous generations could not enjoy.

We can keep people with Alzheimer’s lucid for far longer thanks to breakthrough medical miracle drugs. We can stave off cancer and many degenerative diseases thanks to the incredible breakthroughs in health care in even the past century. This truly is a miracle of our age: our ability to delay death, and keep life rolling along.

There are certain cases, however, that modern medical science cannot

help. These individuals are faced with months, if not years, of debilitating pain, excruciating treatment, and having to watch their families witness their slow descent into illhealth and eventual death. The families spend thousands on things to keep their loved ones comfortable, prolonging a life that is rarely enjoyed, and often more of a perverse form of torture than any semblance of humanity.

Medical treatment is so bent on preserving life that it is nearly impossible to refute or refuse treatment. For many, suicide is impossible due to the nature of their illnesses. For others, it is an impossible option based on their faiths.

A Catholic cannot commit suicide, despite the fact that without modern medical help, they would have been dead long ago. Instead, they must endure, but the question remains: is such endurance humane?

Those who support euthanasia are usually quick to acknowledge the flaws: who decides who is euthanized? When does it become more practical than long-term care? Is it worth opening the can of worms (potential abuse) that many who oppose the idea are so quick to point out? The answer, simply, is a matter of choice. Euthanasia is not for everyone: there are those who believe that the trials of life are meant to be endured, and they neglect to factor in the modern science of medicine that often facilitates this endurance beyond the natural bounds of their determined mortality. Medicine prolongs life. It is a fact.

Those who consider euthanasia a reasonable alternative to the suffering of debilitating medical conditions argue that they are not asking for a definitive excuse to die.

They are asking for the choice to decide for themselves to end their existences (at least in this world) through an avenue less painful than waiting out their disease and refusing treatment, and that removes the emotional trauma of suicide from those they leave behind.

This difference of opinion, those between the supporters of eutha-

nasia, and those morally opposed to it, often neglects to focus on the fact that all anyone is asking for is a choice – a right to choose when to die. We choose how we live; cannot we give those who wish to end their suffering the ability to choose how they die?

A family can be brutally hurt, even torn apart, by a sudden suicide. An informed decision by an individual can provide their families with stability, counselling, and time to adjust to the idea before the death of their loved one, as opposed to afterward. Suicide will always carry a stigma of betrayal, but euthanasia can provide an avenue for caring, understanding, and love.

Contrary to popular belief, death is not, in itself, something to fear. It is a necessary part of living. There is nothing bad about dying; there is only the grief of the living that makes it so feared. Epic laments about lost potential, beauty cut

“

I’m just satisfying my own inane desire for controversy and to staunchly and bullheadedly defend my world view against the heathens…

“

Kelti Boissonneault

down in the prime of life, are of no concern to the dead. These are only the lamentations of the living, a coping mechanism, an artful expression of pain and sadness.

I will never deny that the loss of a

loved one is painful. In many cases, especially in sudden deaths, the fallout of emotional trial can last for months or even years. We can feel the anguish, the loneliness, the heartache, and the melancholy take residence in our very essences. It will be reflected in the way we dress, speak, cry, laugh, worship, and live.

Grief is as natural as death. Death is as natural as life. Despite the cacophony of emotions, there is still nothing to fear.

So what are your thoughts? From experience, from tragedy, is born my opinion: give a human the option to die legally at the hands of a medical professional. Doctors can inflict all kinds of horrors on us in the name of keeping us alive; I’m sure there are a few medical professionals out there who would not deny a patient the kindness of an easy, peaceful, comfortable death.

the Meliorist wants

you!

Do you have a hankering to write? Want to see your work in print?

The Meliorist is accepting contributions.

If interested, e-mail einc@themeliorist.ca

meliorist the

Procrastination Unicorn Hunt

mel•io•rism (meel’e riz’m, me’le e-), n. the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB T1K 3M4 Phone: 329-2334 www.themeliorist.ca

Comics

The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body. Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta, T1K 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166.

Deadline for submissions is Sunday 4pm.

The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author. Special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms. Letters should contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and student identification number.

The address, I.D. and phone number will not be published. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material. Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality.

Try to find this unicorn hidden somewhere in this week’s Meliorist. E-mail the page number and a brief description of where you found it to einc@ themeliorist.ca. You’ll be entered to win our monthly Unicorn Draw. You can enter as many times in the month as we publish.

Randall Munroe|xkcd.com

Good hunting!

Sudoku

Editor-in-Chief Kelti Boissonneault einc@themeliorist.ca Business Manager Nelson Chin b.manager@themeliorist.ca Advertising Manager Brandon Wallis

ad.manager@themeliorist.ca Production Manager Calvin Shiu p.manager@themeliorist.ca Creative Director Jeff Henry c.director@themeliorist.ca Account Rep Jillian King

account.rep@themeliorist.ca Randall Munroe|xkcd.com

Crossword

(CUP) — Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.

Puzzle Answers on Page 19

Across

Down

1- A dish with many ingredients; 5- Attack a fly; 9- Disconcert; 14Ripped; 15- Mata _ ; 16- Rate; 17- Support beam; 18- Extend; 20- Flirt; 22- Brit. lexicon; 23- Bottom of the barrel; 24- Mex. miss; 26- Heroic adventure tale; 28- Temerity; 32- Pertaining to the mind; 36- Be in debt; 37- Praying figure; 39- Bring out; 40- Makes lace; 42- Clogs, e.g.; 44- Complacent; 45- Betelgeuse’s constellation; 47Angry; 49- 401(k) alternative; 50Pay as due; 52- Having three feet; 54- Islamic call to prayer; 56- Split; 57- “The Clan of the Cave Bear” author; 60- Chatter; 62- Resounds; 66- Seaplane; 69- As to; 70- Curt; 71- Kiln for drying hops; 72- Approached; 73- Handle; 74- Gusto; 75- Break, card game;

1- Auricular; 2- Timber wolf; 3- Oilrich nation; 4- Attack; 5- Breaks; 6Move from side to side; 7- Golden Fleece ship; 8- Wearies; 9- Prince Valiant’s son; 10- Barren area; 11End in _ (draw); 12- Dimensions; 13- Makes a row?; 19- According to the Bible, he was the first man; 21- Cube creator Rubik; 25- Japanese beer brand; 27- “Fancy that!”; 28- Chopper topper; 29Alert; 30- Take hold; 31- Nasal grunt; 33- Bombastic; 34- Legend maker; 35- Juridical; 38- Eye drops; 41- Member of a lay society; 43- Short dagger; 46- Pince- _ ; 48- Heroic; 51- Sturdy wool fiber; 53- Morals; 55- Influential person; 57- P.M. times; 58- Peter Fonda title role; 59- Bronte heroine; 61Male swine; 63- Son of Judah; 64- Humorist Bombeck; 65- Leak slowly; 67- “The Matrix” hero; 68Faulkner’s “ _ Lay Dying”;

News Editor Sara Parkin n.editor@themelisorist.ca Features Editor Matt Baird f.editor@themeliorist.ca Entertainment Editor Billy Davey e.editor@themeliorist.ca Sports and Lifestyle Editor Nicole Meech s.editor@themeliorist.ca Campus Beat Reporter Janet Barriage campus.beat@themeliorist.ca Photo Editor Jon Martin p.editor@themeliorist.ca Illustrator Elizabeth Porter Copy Editor James Forbes Distribution Manager Tracy Fairs Production Assistants Emma Ferguson Myles Havinga Creative Designer Brandon Wallis Webmaster Chris Morris

themeliorist.ca Like a newspaper... but on a computer

Printing Southern Alberta Newspaper Group Contributors Olivier O’Brien Liam Monaghan Nicki Van Eck Cover Jon Martin Elizabeth Porter

Send your letters to einc@themeliorist.ca

The transformation of the journalism industry As Chris Jones put it, the theme of last year’s Canadian University Press National Conference for young journalists was “We’re fucked” in terms of the survival of the journalism industry. This year’s National Conference, held in Victoria, B.C., focused more on the issue of how to “un-fuck ourselves” rather than previous pessimistic viewpoints. As with any dire situation, some people will give up on a cause while others will continue to fight for the betterment of their predicament. In this case, how does one keep the journalism industry alive?

Have ideas?

We’d love to hear them!

The transformation of the journalism industry As Chris Jones put it, the theme of last year’s Canadian University Press National Conference for young journalists was “We’re fucked” in terms of the survival of the journalism industry. This year’s National Conference, held in Victoria, B.C., focused more on the issue of how to “un-fuck ourselves” rather than previous pessimistic viewpoints. As with any dire situation, some people will give up on a cause while others will continue to fight for the betterment of their predicament. In this case, how does one keep the journalism industry alive?

Have ideas?

We’d love to hear them!

12 • January 19, 2011

entertainment

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 13

Billy Davey Entertainment Editor For more information on contributing to Entertainment, please contact Billy Davey at e.editor@themeliorist.ca

To gimmick, or not to gimmick?

Billy Davey

Entertainment Editor

In your time here on Earth, you may have noticed people are fascinated by some very odd things.

Blind passion, violence, sensationalism, an “image,” and stuff that is just plain weird, all captivate many audiences. If it will generate some cash, attention, or if someone can simply get away with it, a strange action will arise. However, it takes a special kind of person to pull off this kind of act and be praised for it (or be denounced for it and not care).

Musicians, particularly of the pop breed, are notorious for subjecting their audiences to that little extra factor. This factor is usually a non-musical and unnecessary feature that is meant to add something different to the performance — the gimmick is born. By definition, a gimmick is facetious and only meant to draw more attention. But is it more attention to the music, the artist, or something entirely different? We all love to hear why a musician started playing their instrument, so it seems natural that we question their bizarre antics.

But do people really care? Who doesn’t want to see a band destroy all of its equipment after a show, a singer wear a stupid costume, a silly stage name, or some weird signature item? These are things

people see and (maybe) enjoy. Not everyone has to be a music critic or have a PhD to savour or understand a melody; so the gimmick could be looked over without much effort.

So if you’d rather ignore and enjoy Katy Perry’s fruit costumes, Angus Young’s school uniform, and Freddy Mercury’s half microphone stand, then go right ahead. I won’t try to stop you. But I will venture to know why musicians can make mundane fashion statements culturally relevant, and why they use so much damned fog.

In 1967, The Who destroyed their equipment at the Monterey Pop Festival, and Jimi Hendrix, following the Who, did the same but took the additional step of lighting his guitar on fire. Three months later on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, The Who did what they usually did, but drummer Keith Moon decided their televised appearance needed to go out with a bang – a deafening bang that was actually an explosion – and destroyed his drum kit.

If everyone had a Who-like hurricane of destruction after their shows, I doubt many bands would be able to taxi to the runway let alone make it off the ground. So it’s obvious why this isn’t a regular performance from less commercially successful bands. But is it really a “performance?” If it is, it seems separate from their music, but connected to the feel of the ‘60s and

The Who – stickin’ it to the man, right there on national TV. But the atmosphere of that time is what caused the music of that time (in a requited way), so the smashing of expensive amplifiers could merely be some extra cultural baggage attaching itself to the artists; a gimmick may just ground a band to a specific culture and time. But then there are artists who do not use gimmicks or choose to stop using them.

Hendrix who, besides his fiery stunt at the Monterey Pop Festival, would regularly play his guitar with his teeth, play behind his head, play between his legs, and… hump his guitar — sometimes it was sweet love, and other times it was harsh and up against a Marshall stack.

Hendrix ended these antics later in his short career because he wanted himself and others to focus more on his music and not the “gimmicks.”

This is something Ike Turner noticed earlier than Hendrix: “He was a real good guitar player, but his problem was that he liked gimmicks.”

Looking at an artist like Hendrix who halted his gimmicks so people would pay more attention to his music, one finds more support for the cultural gimmick. Because a gimmick is meant to draw attention to something (in the case of The Who, it puts a spotlight on the culture of the ‘60s) it also draw attention away from something

Gene Simmons as “The Demon”

else, which is why Hendrix chose to cease the antics. When looking back on music, people tend to look past the gimmicks, history, and surrounding culture because, unless they are doing extra research, music can transcend cultures and

history.

So while a gimmick like smashing one’s instrument can be relevant, somewhat convolutedly, to the music, there comes a time when the spectacle fades away and all that’s left are sounds.

Lioness: Hidden Treasures Amy Winehouse (Island/ Lioness)

BAYTL Gucci Mane & V-Nasty (1017 Brick Squad/ Asylum/ Warner Bros.)

Making Mirrors Gotye (Eleven)

Lioness: Hidden Treasures holds the first single, “Body and Soul,” by Winehouse since 2007 and is the first posthumous album since her death. The album has already reached gold and platinum (double platinum in the United Kingdom) in various countries. “Our Day Will Come” starts with a lofty piano, horns that let out short bursts, and Winehouse’s excellent jazz vocals. “Between the Cheats” has a show tune sound and leads into a dreamy waterfall containing a multitude of instruments.

One song features hip-hop artist Nas, but he is ultimately an unwelcome intrusion into Winehouse’s strungtogether notes and R&B style. The only thing keeping Nas afloat was the great instrument conducting, which complemented him as best as it could. “The Girl from Ipanema” features lots of scat fills by Winehouse, which run in harmony with the keyboards and fruitful drums.

The rest of the album is slower jazz with soul-filled melodic cries from Winehouse. The last song, “Body and Soul,” is a collaboration with Tony Bennett and Amy that is a beautiful summary and, almost, a sorrowful goodbye to Winehouse.

Gucci Mane is an Atlanta, Georgia rapper and V-Nasty is an Oakland, California rapper who is with White Girl Mob. Also, if you know what they were trying to spell for the album title, please tell me (my guesses are battle or bagel).

“Whip Appeal” features P2theLA and sounds like a group of high school wannabe gangbangers who decided to live the life of rap “artists.” I for one am confident their obvious “street-cred” will launch them straight into the heart of stardom (that was sarcasm, for our slower readers). The album continues as downright horrible: the lyrics are generic gangster rap pablum containing smoking blunts, white girls, dolla bills, and things of that sort. I dread V-Nasty making her godforsaken appearance through the entire album. None of the featuring artists (P2the LA, Mr. Fab, Slim Dunkin, and Berner) make any of the songs even remotely better. The irony of the track “Hate Me Some More” is excellent but somewhat maddening because I couldn’t hate this album any more. I won’t lie, I skipped a couple songs while listening this album. But if you happen to find the next “I Used to Love H.E.R.” on this album please let me know, so I can slap you because there is no way you’re right.

If anyone should lead the Australian invasion, it should be Wouter De Backer, who goes by the stage name Gotye.

Making Mirrors has put Gotye on the radar of international charts. However, Gotye has seen much success with his previous two albums as well. “Somebody that I Used to Know” peaked on the Canadian Alternative Rock chart at eighth.

The song’s verse has an empty feeling with many muted strings and a lonely xylophone, but the chorus is filled with Gotye’s strong vocals. Many of the tracks take their time to develop, but always leave you on edge waiting for Gotye to release a powerful burst. “I Feel Better” has a more traditional sound with a piano and drums keeping an upbeat rhythm, and Gotye sings much more optimistically with a classic rock feel. “Don’t Worry We’ll Be Watching You” is the slowest-developing and most minimalist piece of the album. The rest of the album (except “Save Me”) leaves the listener, disappointedly, wishing Gotye would let his vocals explode more.

the

entertainment

meliorist

14 • January 19, 2011

Golden Globes rundown or the Academy Awards practice run RJ Balog

Entertainment Writer

As I begin this little quip on this year’s Golden Globes, I am aware that it will be in the paper five days after it aired. However it is a precursor for the Academy Awards in some ways, and January is a slow month, so why not? So here’s another year with another batch of worthy nominees but also many overlooked pictures and performances.

Back on as host and resident roaster, Ricky Gervais returns for his third (and supposed last) run as designated celebrity basher in a crude yet elegant fashion. Beer in hand, Gervais kicked things off with some quick jabbed jokes, and also addressed his return after last year’s debacle concerning his crude “targeted” jokes. In a recent interview Gervais stated that the only reason he returned for a third year was to stick it to the people that

were upset from last year… man he’s cool.

Anyway, the show ran with its normal twinge with a few minor mishaps and lots of pleasant background hijinks. The Globes, though less important in the prestige sense in comparison to the Oscars, do bring a more light, more relaxed feel to the category of motion picture award shows. That was abundantly obvious from the near 8,000 Bridesmaids diarrhoea references.

Seriously I heard it like 8,000 times.

Back to the awards though. They pretty well played out exactly how it was expected. Films like The Artist and The Descendants got the expected recognition they deserved.

But sadly many films, TV shows, and actors and actresses alike were still neglected or snubbed from the award or the nomination itself. This isn’t a new trend though, as the Globes and The Academy Awards have long been criticised for “overlooking” or blatantly ignoring films

or performances that don’t fit the award show prestige.

The Globes showed a little bit of improvement this year including Albert Brooks (Drive), Michael Fassbender (Shame), and Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), even though their works weren’t nominated directly. Seriously, Breaking Bad and Drive weren’t nominated — I know, I’m mad too. But that’s what I’ve come to expect with these award shows.

Sometimes the most deserving to win isn’t even recognized in the nominees. I’m still sour about The Dark Knight being shamefully neglected in so many respects. Best picture, screenplay, director, cinematography, I dare you to say The Dark Knight shouldn’t have been recognized. Well, it was nominated for cinematography but it didn’t win – and that’s the point. Award shows let you down. The nominations for the upcoming Academy Awards aren’t out yet but I’d be surprised in Nicolas Winding Refn’s

Drive probably won’t take home best picture or director or actor. But it should. Wasn’t this supposed to be an article on the Golden Globes?

Back to the matter, if only briefly, as I’ve taken up most of my allotted space once again rambling about Batman and such. For the Globes, the big hitters that are expected to win did. But it was nice to see films like 50/50 being recognized for best motion picture and actor (my favourite platonic crush, Joseph Gordon Levitt). And it was extremely satisfying to see Peter Dinklage get his much deserved dues for his performance in Game of Thrones.

So, that said, pretty good year for the Golden Globes. As good as it could get, I guess. The things you expected to win did, some things you wanted were nominated, and some things you wanted weren’t.

But that’s how she goes. Come February, we’ll see what the Academy Awards hold.

Larry the Cable Guy’s One Giant Night of Comedy replaces a spot in my brain with fecal matter Jon Martin

Entertainment Writer

Typically I try to live my life without regrets. I do, however, regret wearing a seatbelt last Friday the 13th on my way to the Enmax Centre. Why? Because not wearing a seatbelt would have greatly increased my chances of dying in a horrible car crash before I had to mentally die at the horrible train wreck that was Larry the Cable Guy’s One Giant Night of Comedy. Spread across a grueling two hours and 23 minutes, three “comedy” acts (Reno Collier, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy) filled my evening with “comedy” like a two year old fills his diaper with processed mushed peas. This buffet of witless, rehashed, and outof-date material was stuffed down the yams of around 2,400 people that questionably paid $75.50 to attend, and fortunately for those in attendance, lukewarm catch phrases were included in the price of the meal.

Before I continue with this review, I will note that I am fully aware of the lowest common denominator approach and appeal of Larry and his troupe. I understood this before I walked in the doors of the Enmax. One Giant Night’s bottom feeding platform is not an excuse for the complete lack of wit, vitality, and conviction that is required for genuinely enjoyable live standup comedy.

First out of the gate was a shortbut-not-short-enough set by opener Reno Collier. He sounded like a sleepy drunk trying to impress the last few unfortunate patrons of the pub with his ignorance so they will give him a ride home at the end of the night. Content ranged from “science isn’t real” and “monkeys in space,” to drinking Nyquil and taking cheap shots at overweight teachers — none of which paid off.

Collier’s lackluster set was topped off with a “white power” punch line.

Boom.

Next up was the self-proclaimed

celebrity and comedy superstar Bill Engvall. He could best be described as unfunny – which is perhaps the most avoided trait of someone that tells jokes for a living. Of the three entertainers, he was the most plastic and contrived. Weak and uninspired delivery was highlighted by his constant forced laughing (at his own jokes) and mechanically inserted “y’all”s. Engvall’s strange fake laugh and shouting was very distracting and did nothing to slow the Grand Illusion Boat of Comedy from taking a trip over the Never Ending Waterfall of Unfunny.

While he took the chance to make fun of Canada, “boogers,” homeless people, and “wife school,” an overly long and ego-stroking recount of his jury duty interview was perhaps

the most boring and tedious segment. As gripping as a story of the American juror selection process can be, it has no place in the entertainment business and had me wondering if my watch had frozen due to erratic out-of-season solar flares. Engvall should dump his career in comedy and start a business selling his uncanny timestretching powers to yuppies.

After what seemed like an additional eternity of generic comments on marriage and “Chuckling Out Loud,” it looked like Engvall was about to let loose his big finish. Just as quickly as thoughts of exercising the laughing muscles and relaxing the cringing muscles filled my head, they were crushed down by poop jokes and a

recount of his recent rectal exam. I was awakened from my mini coma by the rowdy audience applause when Engvall dropped his lame catch phrase “Here’s Your Sign” six times in half as many minutes.

After Bill Engvall left the stage (finally), he was replaced by a husky Larry the Cable Guy. Not to be outdone by Engvall, he quickly spewed out his dated catch phrase, “Git-R-Done,” five times in rapid succession to remind people of his claim to fame, and simultaneously show the insecurity caused by his complete lack of relevance. Although occasionally amusing (but never funny), Larry’s uninspired material was as fresh as a decomposed rat fetus that was left out in the sun a little too long. I’ll

note that a lot of the content was irrelevant to most Canadians, due to being specifically American, or because the jokes sounded like they were written at the time when Jesus was still riding velociraptors.

To prevent me accidentally reliving any other moments of the evening in my mind, I’ll give you a paraphrased list of The Cable Guy’s topics using his language, and let you exercise the amazing abilities of the human imagination, just like Larry did.

Eating McRibs and pooping, McDonalds diarrhea, Grandpa farting, wiping your ass with quarters, taking viagra and having an over-the-counter erection, Grandpa peeing on his shoes, snow angel skid marks, four pound thanksgiving poop, pooping in the Wal-Mart change room, Grandmas tits on fire, pooping on pumpkins, throwing used toilet paper at houses, picking up sprinklers with his sisters ass, pooping outside in the cold, prostate check from Wolverine, having a watch in your ass, 20 pound shits, ticks on your wiener, wiping asses with corn cobs, wiping your ass with one square of toilet paper, wiping your ass with pillow cases, cantaloupe in your ass, farting lepers, and “I shit in the toilet” bumper stickers.

During the set Larry the Cable Guy was constantly out of breath and disinterested, making farting sounds with his mouth to force some cheap laughs. He garnered an average applause, but had many disappointed looking patrons leaving throughout his set. He ended his set by saying “If you don’t like anything you heard, go home and end it” and “poop over there” followed by a couple additional “Git-R-Done”s.

One Giant Night of Comedy was an irrelevant, stale, and boring event that can only be summarized as a giant festering pile of Larry the Cable Guy.

meliorist

Entertainment

the

January 19, 2011 • 15

Jan 19

Jan 20

Brian Rosen and the Whatnow @ The Slice 9:30 p.m.

Shred Kelly with Redrum Triumph @ Owl Acoustic Lounge 9 p.m.

Jesse and the Dandelions, Daydream Johnny, the Utilities with Michael Granzow @ The Slice 9:30 p.m.

Duelling Pianos with Cal Toth @ Average Joe’s 9 p.m.

Bluegrass Jam at Wolf’s Den @ Wolf’s Den 7 p.m.

Harry Manx @ Geomattic Attic 8 p.m.

Ann Vriend @ Backstreet Pub and Pizza 8 p.m.

Renee Werenka and Friends Open Mic @ Good Earth Coffee House 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Scott Davidson Trio Ah Bee Normal @ Ric’s Grill @ Lethbridge Casino 8 p.m.

9 p.m.

Jan 21 James Oldenburg and Paul Holden @ Streatside Eatery 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

Reuben Bullock with Gold and Redrum Triumph @ The Slice 9:30 p.m.

Junkman’s Choir

Robbie Burns Celebration @ Owl Acoustic Lounge 9 p.m.

Robbie Burns Day Scotch and Burns @ Galt Museum 7 p.m.

Ah Bee Normal @ Lethbridge Casino 9 p.m.

Jan 22

Jan 24

Indoor Air Gun Provincials @ West Pavilion, Exhibition Park 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Open Mic with Toques and Beards @ The Slice 9 p.m.

Open Mic @ Bo Diddly’s 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Jan 23 Open Mic @ Owl Acoustic Lounge 9 p.m.

Jan 25

Gerry Dee @ Yates TheatreSterndale Bennett Theatre 7 p.m.

Bridgette Yarwood and Evan Schaaf L.A. Beat open Ain’t Misbehavin’ jam @ Owl Acoustic @ Ric’s Grill Lounge 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

9 p.m.

Salem Abraha @ Black Tomato Lounge 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Hey! Wanna post your band’s concert?

Your phallacious Level 8 gallery opening?

Email your events to e.editor@ themeliorist.ca!

••• Got nothing on the go?

Go to an event.

Write an article.

Contribute it to The Meliorist.

meliorist

TLFs

16 • January 19, 2011

the

the Meliorist wants

you!

Do you have a hankering to write? Want to see your work in print? The Meliorist is accepting contributions.

If interested, email einc@themeliorist.ca to the cute short black girl and the really tall black guy i think you guys are the cutest couple. i see you guys dancing randomly in the library building. soooo cute!!!

the only thing worse than having a roommate who freeloads.. is having a roommate whose boyfriend also freeloads! come on people get a clue.

Call for submissions from student artists and the music department. January 21 at the penny building! email artsociety@ uleth.ca. Deadline is January 14!

To The Bio Boy who was in my Ecology Class&Lab last fall and my Genomes class this fall, who sometimes wears a red hat. Wave sometime, if you’ve noticed me as much as I have you.

That awkward moment when you’re at your house for new years and your friend hooks up with your brother… Then your mom walks in.

Attractive single 22 year old Christian guy, are you still out there?

I’ve been looking for a guy like you.

-Attractive enough single Christian girl.

Bookstore not open the day before classes? Way to go ULeth, thanks for making our lives easier.

Worlds shortest and most uncomfortable joke, “A baby seal heads into a club…”

The dance team wouldn’t get mocked if they were actually any good.

Does anyone else remember poop day three years ago? I just did and it made my day. Nothing like being evacuated and having classes cancelled due to shit backing up the sewers.. yum Go to the Zoo for MELTDOWN! Thur Jan 19 is FREE to play awesome games and win prizes from noon-7. Fri Jan 20 is only $5 for the Meltdown cabaret featuring mind blowing DJ’s!

Be productive in the library.

F- you, I won a BAFTA Curious about joining a sorority? Kappa Pi Chi female fraternity is looking for new ladies! Stop by our rush table or email us at sorority.leth@gmail.com for upcoming events & info if you are a guy, and your gym clothes looks like it is painted on… you do not look “extra bad-ass”… you look like a dick lmao january at the u of l, looks like the sleeve monster is alive and well Caution: it likes sleeves that cover tribal art tatoos the most So what if my career goals to produce porn! At least I have a goal!

First day of real winter and the parking lot is full. Parking passes are finally getting their money’s worth ;)

Is anyone interested in lifelong friendships? Check out Delta Eta Iota, UOFL’s original and first sorority! http://dhi-lethbridge.com Let’s cuddle and make out in the pool viewing area.

The first thing I want to hear in Galileo’s is loud obnoxious metal and Aqua.

Thank you, wise group of teenagers, for bringing your superb musical tastes to all us lowly serfs.

Hate paying for data, call id, voicemail?

Big 3 telecom trying to force out competition and get cozy with govt to keep squeezing your wallet. Stand up for canada @stopthesqueeze.ca

If you haven’t checked out David’s Tea in the mall yet, freakin’ do it!!!! Their tea is a life changer!!!

I can’t help but wonder how half of the people around me managed to get into post secondary. If you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” there’s a problem.

Why did I buy a parking pass when it in no way assures me a parking space?

1 article short for this week’s paper, what’s an editor-in-chief to do? I know – just rewrite and submit an article seen 10 pages earlier!

Starcraft II junkie? Join our fb page for games/ladder/practice or just to meet other sc2 enthusiasts! http://tinyurl.com/uleth-sc2

I’m not sure if the author intended it, but I’m pretty sure I have a phallic symbol between my legs.

To Clanman1: Thank you

sup any white girls looking 4 a big black man this semester? lol

I love the tools who are wearing shorts these days. It’s -35 degrees outside, what the hell are you trying to prove? You look like a dumbass.

Submit your poetry and prose to Whetstone Magazine! Email your submissions to poetry.whetstone@gmail. com or fiction.whetstone@gmail.com You this read wrong “dude wearing uggs. +1 douche” bwahahaha made my day!

Does anyone else find it kind of sad that all these profs have doctorate or master degrees and not one of them can figure out how to use the projector in class?

Why must the Neuroscience TA’s insist on playing unnecessarily loud and annoying music in the 10 minutes or so before class? Seriously, I can’t even hear myself think.

Rebecca in Anthro of pop.culture, If you insist on writing nasty love letters to ‘brendan’ during class, don’t flash it around for all to read!

MSS Ski Trip to Whitefish Montana will be selling tickets in Markin Hall all week!

Come by our table and check it out!

I envy the students who show up to class to lounge back in a chair and listen to an hour-long lecture without ever taking a single note. Your memory is obviously better than mine.

Sitting at the back of the classroom doesn’t make it any less obvious that you’re spending the entire lecture texting. Trust me, nothing in anyone’s lap is that interesting.

To the person that dissed OMC. Some people like their music. And WHAT productive things are done in the atrium? Eating? Walking? Hoping for free cake?

Submit your TLFs at WWW.THEMELIORIST.CA or to THEMELIORIST@GMAIL.COM. All TLFs must be submitted via a valid uleth account. Keep in mind that slanderous or offensive TLFs my be edited or omitted. The TLFs do not reflect the views or opinions of The Meliorist Publishing Society.

Band/Album/Label

* indicates Canadian artist

lifestyle

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 17

Nicole Meech Sports and Lifestyle Editor For more information on contributing to Sports and Lifestyle, please contact Nicole Meech, s.editor@themeliorist.ca

You are the artist of your own life Liam Monaghan Lifestyle Contributor

It can be hard to care about how you look in Lethbridge. Your hair is always perfectly quaffed in the bathroom mirror, but then you spend eight seconds in the wind and it looks as though Kim Jong-un tested nuclear arms in it. In the winter, anything but a ski jacket can seem impractical, although as a skier myself I have to ask: why do people insist on going around with lift tickets attached to their zippers? Is the university building a gondola? Most days it’s hard enough to have motivation to get up in the morning, let alone put thought into your clothing. And now that the mall sells Pyjama Jeans, the opportunity to fulfil the quintessential student’s desire – to be able to roll in and out of bed without changing – can prove altogether too tempting. But clothing really doesn’t need to be about “looking good.” It shouldn’t be about how much money you spent on your outfit. And while I am about to make an argument for freedom of expression, I am going to unequivocally quash Pyjama Jeans.

To me, fashion is listening and style is speaking. (Fair warning: I have more than my fair share of pretentious pearls of wisdom).

Clothing is art. Colour, composition, texture, proportion; the list of terminology applied to both is endless. The clothes you choose provide an opportunity to present yourself exactly as you would like

to be portrayed. Clothing can obfuscate a person, it’s true, but it can also create an immediacy of emotion and mind unlike any other.

Fashion is merely the palette from which the painter chooses his or her paints. Every day should be an opportunity to play dress up, to create an expression. Fashion is often dismissed as a medium for conformity, or for the promotion of superficial or consumerist attitudes. But to me, if a person is in fashion it doesn’t mean they’re just another android in a robot army of Kim Kardashian look-alikes – far from it. Expressing your personal style should mean that you are in fashion, just like a subject in a painting, a note in a song, or a thread in a tapestry. The misconception, the problem even, is that people mistake retailers, fashion magazines, or (Anna Wintour forbid) Entertainment Tonight as the authors of their story. You are the artist of your own life (further fair warning: in this article, I will be substituting Anna Wintour’s name for God. If you don’t know who Anna Wintour is, you’re probably looking for the Sports section).

Pick your favourite trend from the past year. Floral dresses? Hipster glasses? Those blazers from the Gap everyone wore with the sleeves rolled up? You know what I’m talking about. On some level you realize what’s fashionable (in terms of trends, not personal style), although everything does seem clearer in retrospect: “Oh my god, I love your Crocs! I’m totally into Crocs.” Flash

forward to “What the hell are those on her feet? Oh my god, do you remember Crocs? I hear she’s a slut now.”

Fashion is a double-edged sword.

Its transience is exactly what makes it exciting and desirable, but it is that same ephemeral quality which can skew our perspective of the people who indulge in it. Conjure up an image of your most hated trend and ask yourself if your dislike is directed at the Crocs themselves, or at what Crocs have come to represent through our cultural ideas. I should mention that I don’t hate Croc-wearers. I really do just hate Crocs. But I would love to find the person who can convince me that Crocs aren’t the most appalling product to be mass-produced since Hannah Montana was a thing.

The fact that I don’t like Crocs is a reflection of my personal style: my aesthetic combined with the expression of who I am. Yet I’d be thrilled to find the person for whom Crocs are such an authentic representation of their selfhood that they are transformed into the world’s most beautiful shoes. That’s style – and also one hell of a challenge.

So next time you roll up those blazer sleeves, ask yourself: why am I doing this? Next time you slip on those Crocs, run to your doctor, make sure you’re going to be alright after your concussion (kidding!), and then consider whether you really like Crocs or if you’re only wearing them because you heard they’re “comfortable” (since when were

shoes which aren’t reminiscent of fluorescent Swiss cheese categorically uncomfortable?). Most importantly, next time you get dressed in Lethbridge, consider that you could do something to make this city a little more special just by expressing yourself. You are the artist of your own life.

Only you can make it beautiful. Good luck and Anna Wintour bless.

Keepin’ it fresh: Exercise of the week Nicole Meech Lifestyle Editor

In an effort to help keep your workouts fresh, or simply provide some ideas as you start to exercise or continue to exercise throughout the semester, each week I will post a different how-to explanation for a certain exercise. Some of these exercises are tried and true and merely serve as a reminder of their benefits, while others will be new and quite possibly even made up by yours truly. Either way, I hope you enjoy – happy exercising!

Squats - These babies have been a fitness essential for a reason: they work.

As new exercise developments arise, the squat still sticks around, the basic one targeting your glutes, hamstrings, quadraceps, and hips. The squat is also versatile for the many different ways you can perform it – you can add weights, perform them slowly or quickly, do them on one leg, add a Bosu ball for some core engagement; the list goes on and on. If you are new to squats you should start with the basic instructions listed below, but as soon as they become easy you should be adding dumbbells or any other addition you can think of.

How to: 1. Stand with feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart in the anatomical position (standing straight, spine aligned down the centre of your body).

2. Lower your body as if you are going to sit in a chair, arms in front of you, ensuring that your knees don’t go past your toes.

3. Return back to standing and repeat. Note: for maximum muscle engagement, your bum should noticeably be sticking out as you lower into your squat.

Demonstration by Brady Flesch

sports

meliorist the

January 19, 2011 • 18

Men’s hockey: Horns rally for double OT win Jesse Couture

Sports Contributor

Lethbridge – The Lethbridge Pronghorns climbed back from a 2-0 deficit to force overtime and earn a hard-fought 3-2 double overtime victory against their Southern Alberta rivals, the Calgary Dinos, Friday night.

Tyler Hlookoff scored the overtime winner to give the Horns their second consecutive win, while Daniel Iwanski and Taylor Gal scored the other Horns goals. Dylan Hood and Max Ross replied for Calgary. The Dinos came out hard and struck first, less than three minutes in, as a loose rebound in front of the Lethbridge net allowed Hood’s follow up effort to sneak low glove side past Scott Bowles.

Capitalizing on an early power play opportunity, Lethbridge native Max Ross’ hard-wrister earned him his second goal in a Dino uniform, at 5:44, as Calgary’s offensive dominance continued. Midway through the frame, Lethbridge had yet to register a shot on net and after one period of play, the Dinos had outshot the Horns 15-4. Lethbridge seemed to find some life during the break, however, as the Horns crashed the net and created multiple scoring chances, playing much more aggressively than in the first 20 minutes.

Shots on goal nearly balanced themselves

out by midway through the second frame as the Horns kept firing the puck on net looking to get within one – with shots by Winston Day Chief, Dustin Moore and Brent Henke forcing Jacob DeSerres to react quickly, keeping the

home team off the score sheet. After two periods of play, shots on net still slightly favoured the Dinos with 28 to the Horns’ 24.

Patiently outwaiting the Calgary defense, second-year forward Daniel Iwanksi gave

the home crowd something to cheer about, releasing a rocket that would sneak through the five hole of DeSerres, earning the Horns their first of the game and narrowing the gap to one. The Horns, playing shorthanded with less than two minutes remaining in regulation, again brought the crowd to their feet, as Gal took a great pass from Clayton Cumiskey, out-manoeuvred the defense and roofed the puck short-side to knot the game at twos, forcing overtime.

After the first five minutes of extra time, despite power play chances for both teams, neither club could score the decisive goal.

The second overtime period started and both teams fought hard to earn the elusive goal, but it was freshman Hlookoff who would be the difference maker. After fanning on his first attempt, the rookie defenseman let go a second effort from his knees that would put it away past a down and out DeSerres. After surrendering two early goals, Bowles shut the door the rest of the way, turning aside 36 Dino shots, while DeSerres finished the night with 35 saves.

With the win, the Horns improve to 5-113, while the Dinos move to 9-9-1 with the overtime loss.

Women’s Hockey: Dinos complete sweep of Horns Jesse Couture

Sports Contributor

Lethbridge – Calgary Dinos completed the weekend sweep of the home-and-home series with the Lethbridge Pronghorns, winning 5-3 in regulation. Hayley Wickenheiser, Tanya Morgan, Calaine Inglis, Erika Mitschke and Stephanie Zvonkovic tallied goals for the Dinos while Ashley Beattie, Jenna-Marie Durnin, and Chelsea Minor replied for the Pronghorns. Horns net-minder Crystal Patterson turned aside 26 shots while Dinos’ Amanda Tapp made 17 saves on the night.

An early power play opportunity provided Lethbridge with the game’s first goal.

Ballendine’s wrister from the slot was deflected wide but Captain Ashley Beattie quickly corralled the loose rebound, beating Dinos’ Amanda Tapp high blocker side for her first of the season. Calgary bounced back less than two minutes later as Wickenheiser circled behind the net and found captain Tanya Morgan in front who would find the back of the net.

Capitalizing on a power play of their own, Dinos’ Inglis, taking a clean pass from

Wickenheiser, notched another for the visiting team as Calgary took their first lead of the game. Keeping things consistent, Lethbridge answered back in less than 60 seconds, as Chelsea Minor’s shot from the circle managed to sneak through a crowd and in, tying the game back up 2-2. The Horns pressed on and quickly recovered the lead as Durnin’s hard shot from the top of the circle slid through the legs of an unsuspecting Tapp, making it 3-2.

As a wild opening frame drew to a close, Mitschke would add another for the Dinos, tying things right back up as both teams retired to the locker room after an action-packed opening 20 minutes. A sharp angle shot by Wickenheiser managed to find an opening as Calgary re-established a one goal lead midway through the second, which proved to be the only scoring in the second frame.

After a largely uneventful second period, shots favoured the Dinos 20-14. Calgary would add another one at 15:17 in the third frame as first-year Zvonkovic blasted a rocket from just inside the blue line that streaked through traffic and into the back of the net.

With this win, Calgary improves to 12-4-0,

moving into a second place tie with the Alberta Pandas in Canada West, while Lethbridge now sits fourth at 10-7-1. The Pronghorns host the University of Alberta Pandas next weekend for a two-game weekend series,

Jan. 20 and 21 at Nicholas Sheran Arena.

The Dinos head to Vancouver where they face off against the UBC Thunderbirds at the Doug Mitchell Winter Sports Centre.

classifieds Career and Employment Services

•

•

JOBS JOBS JOBS!!!

Let us introduce you to CES (Career & Employment Services). CES is a student service office dedicated to assisting you with your Career and Job Search needs. We’re within the Career Resources Centre in AH154, along with Applied Studies and the Management and Arts & Science Cooperative Education programs. CRC office hours are 9am - 12pm and 1pm - 4pm Monday-Friday.

Go to our website for more detailed information on our services: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces.

• •

•

• • •

INFORMATION SESSION ON CAMPUS

•

CMA Information Session Mon Jan 30, 6-7pm PE264 Please sign up by emailing ces.students@ uleth.ca

•

•

Costco Information Booth Tues Feb 7 & Wed Feb 8 Sport & Wellness Building – STOP BY!!

WORKSHOPS to January 27: Please SIGN UP for workshops at CES (AH154) or email ces.students@uleth.ca

CES Resume/Cover Letter Workshops: * Thurs, Jan 19, 1:40-4:15pm * Tues, Jan 24, 3-5:30pm * Fri, Jan 27, 11am-1:30pm

• •

•

•

•

PART-TIME

* Thurs, Jan 26, 1:30-3pm

•

CES Networking & Job Search Workshops:

•

CES Interview Techniques Workshops: * Fri, Jan 20, 12-2:30pm

•

•

•

CHECK OUT OUR NEW ONLINE JOB BOARD!!

Visit our website www.uleth.ca/ross/ces and click on the student section to find our new online job board!

•

•

• •

Canola Breeding Technical Assistants, Leth ~ Monsanto Canada Inc. (Feb 1) Research Assistant/Tutor, Deep River ~ Deep River Science Academy (Feb 1) Research Technician, Taber ~ Ag Quest (Mar 1) Camp Councilors and Camp Specialist, Various Locations ~ Canadian Camp Staff (May 31)

Nanny/Babysitter, Various Locations ~ SOS Sitter (Jun 8) Babysitter/Child Care, Leth (Jan 20) Community Support Worker, Leth/Claresholm ~ Independent Counselling Enterprises (Feb 4) Community Engagement Leader, Cgy ~ Boys & Girls Clubs of Calgary (Jan 19) Tutors, Various Locations ~ First Tutors (Feb 15)

FULL TIME •

Summer Postings

the

January 19, 2012 • 19

• • • • • • • •

• • • • •

•

• •

•

• • • •

CES Career Portfolios Workshops:

* Mon, Jan 23, 2-4pm

Christian Summer Camp Staff for Underprivileged Kids Camp, Evansburg ~ Brightwood Ranch (May 31) Operations Summer Student/ Agronomy Assistant/Agronomy Research Assistant/Specialty Canola Sales Assistant, Various Locations ~ Cargill (Jan 27) Software Development, Washington ~ Microsoft (Feb 1) Invasive Weed Management Technician, Prince George/Peach Region BC ~ Spectrum Resource Group Inc (March 31) Crop Scout Assistant, Magrath/ Stettler/Didsbury/Vauxhall ~ Crop Production Services (Jan 27) Summer Research Assistant, Edm ~ Dow AgroSciences (Feb 5) Interpretation Officer, Various Locations ~ Parks Canada (Jan 27) Alberta 4H Summer Staff Opportunities, Various Locations ~ Alberta 4H (Jan 30) Vegetation Management Technician, Various Locations ~ Ace Vegetation Control (Feb 29) Information Officer, Writing on Stone ~ Writing on Stone Provincial Park (Jan 27) Information Technology Summer Student, Cgy ~ Alberta Health Services (Feb 3) Purchasing Student, Christina Lake ~ Cenovus Energy (Jan 29) Travel Counsellor, Medicine Hat ~ Medicine Hat Chamber of Commerce (Feb 15) Marsh Bird Research Technician, SK/AB ~ Bird Studies Canada (Feb 29) Student Employment, Ottawa ~ International Development Research Centre (Feb 5) Youth Worker, Various Locations ~ Alberta’s Future Leaders

meliorist

•

•

• • • •

Account Executive, St Albert ~ Vision International (Jan 31) Operations Management Trainee/ Sales Trainee, Various Locations ~ Cargill (Jan 27) Municipal Internship, Various Locations ~ Alberta Municipal Internship Program (Jan 28) Police Constable, Camrose ~ Camrose Police Service (Feb 17) Software Development, Washington ~ Microsoft (Feb 1) Junior Analyst, Cgy ~ Gannett Fleming Inc (Jan 31) Management Associate, High River ~ Cargill Ltd (Jan 27)

• •

Accounting Coordinator, Cgy ~ Enterprise Holdings (Jan 30) Sales Management Program, Cgy/ Edm ~ Enterprise Holdings (Feb 28) Systems Administrator, Leth ~ BlackBridge Networks (Jan 31) Supervisor, Taber ~ Hire Standard (Lamb Weston) (Jan 31) Communications Officer, Cardston ~ Westwind School Division (Feb 3) Senior Development Officer, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Jan 20) Instructional Technology Manager, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Jan 20) Crop Production Advisor, Sedgewick ~ Crop Production Services (Jan 27) Agronomist, Taber ~ Crop Production Services (Jan 27) Engineering Associate, High River ~ Cargill (Jan 27) Business Development Rep, Cgy ~ Uniglobe Beacon Travel (Jan 29) Alumni Relations Specialist, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Feb 3) Corporate Account Executive, Cgy ~ SHI International Corp (Feb 3) GIS Technician, Edm ~ Paragon Soil & Environmental Consulting (Jan 31) Crop Scout, Leth ~ Parrish and Heimbecker (Apr 20) Oilfield Herbicide Applicator, Red Deer/Drumheller/SherwoodPark ~ Pioneer Vegetation Services (Mar 2) Field Foremen-Vegetation Management Specialist, Red Deer ~ Pioneer Vegetation Services (Feb 3) Outside Sales Rep, Leth ~ Sysco (Feb 4) Marketing Coordinator, Red Deer ~ Stantec (Feb 4) Customer Service Rep, Leth/Cgy ~ Mr. Lube (Feb 5) Account Manager, Cold Lake ~ GE (Jan 22) CEO, Standoff ~ Blood Tribe Administration (Jan 30) Resource Teacher; Special Education, New Westminster ~ Make a Future (Feb 7)

• • • • •

•

Software Developer, Salmon Arm ~ USNR (Jan 20) New Graduate Opportunities, Cgy ~ AltaGas (Feb 3) Packaging Supervisor, Leth~ Maple Leaf Foods (Feb 9) Flash Content Creator, Cgy ~ eCompliance (Apr 1) Youth Housing Worker; Housing Support Worker; Senior Community Engagement Worker, Cgy ~ Boys & Girls Clubs of Calgary (Feb 15) Support Center Tech, Cgy ~ DataDrill Communications (Feb 29)

Temporary • • • • •

Course Development Assistant, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Jan 19) General Support Worker I, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Feb 10) Service Specialist II, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Jan 20) Administrative Support I, Leth ~ University of Lethbridge (Jan 24) Sales Analyst, Cgy ~ Lafarge Canada (Jan 27)

INTERNATIONAL • • • • • • •

Teach English in South Korea, South Korea ~ Avalon English (Feb 3) Au Pair, United States ~ Scotia Personnel (Jan 20) Children’s Camps 2012, United States ~ Scotia Personnel (Jan 20) Software Development, Washington ~ Microsoft (Feb 1) C++/Java Junior Developer, Seattle ~ PCO Innovation (Feb 3) CATIA V5 Junior Consultant, Seattle ~ PCO Innovation (Feb 3) Youth Ambassador, Tanzania ~ Youth Challenge International (Feb 8)

For details of the postings and information on the application processes go to www.uleth.ca/ross/ ces and check out the WorkopolisCampus Postings section.