In the News This Week

15th February - 21st February

15/2/2001 - First draft of the complete human genome is published in Nature.

16/2/1923 - Howard Carter unseals the burial chamber of Pharaoh Tutankhamun.

17/2/1980 - Mount Everest, 1st Winter Ascent by Krzysztof Wielicki and Leszek Cichy.

18/2/1478 - George, Duke of Clarence, convicted of treason against his older brother Edward IV of England, is executed in private at the Tower of London.

DoWN

1) Building (9)

2) Abraded (6)

3) Festive fir (9, 4)

4) Lesson-giver (13)

5) Lingers uncertainly

(6)

6) Ovum (3)

10) Rigging support (4, 5)

14) Steps (6)

15) Poltroon (6)

17) Cultural period (3)

Last Week’s Solution across: 6) Pad, 8) If you say so, 9) Ask, 11) Speeder, 13) Petty, 14) Terry, 15) You can’t fool me, 16) Shout, 18) Inane, 19) Pungent, 20) Ebb, 23) Commercial, 24) Van.

DoWN: 1) Mix, 2) Eye, 3) Jumpy, 4) Name of the game, 5) Asset, 7) Assortment, 10) Xenophobia, 11) Stuck-up, 12) Recount, 17) Tutor, 18) Inert, 21) Wit, 22) All

19/2/1878 - Thomas Edison patents the phonograph.

20/2/1877 - Tchaikovsky’s ballet Swan Lake receives its première performance at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow.

21/2/1952 - The British government, under Winston Churchill, abolishes identity cards in the UK to “set the people free”

Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it never use it.

I just quit my job at the helium factory. I won’t be spoken to in that tone.

At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is ‘Mr. Compromise”. It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?

He’s fully recovered.

My Dad told me he always struggled with three subjects in school.

Maths, and he couldn’t remember the other one.

Went to the chippy the other day, I asked “Do you do fish cakes?”

“Yep we do.”

“Good cos it’s his birthday tomorrow.”

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs. I called it the second hand second hand store.

I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest.

It’s his altar ego.

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It’s really time consuming, especially if you go for seconds.