METRO SPIRIT Dec. 11-17 Vol. 15 No. 19
Augusta’s Independent Voice
Partnership or Power Trip?
AUGUSTA’S NEW CIVIC ARENA
Ho! Ho! Ho!
As Santa’s newest helper, I want to give you $500 cash to spend however you like…. Dear Homeowner, It’s true! I’ve just received word from the North Pole that I’ve officially been named as one of Santa’s Helpers. With this special assignment comes the power for me to do something very special for you …. From now until December 25, I am going to give you an immediate $500 cash rebate on any new furnace you buy from me. This is cash you can use to pay for holiday gifts, travel -- whatever you like. Think about this. If your furnace is 10 years old or older -- even if it’s still running -- you’re probably heating your home on borrowed time and paying more for utilities than you need to. But at this time of year, who really wants to think about buying a new furnace, right? That’s why I’m pleased Santa has asked for my help. In addition to the $500 instant cash-in-your-pocket rebate, here’s what else I’m going to give you: • $500-$1000 off the regular list price of a top-of-the-line furnace and air conditioning system
• $0 down, 0 interest, 0 payments for 6 full months -- you don’t pay a penny all winter. Call 722-5304 right now to make an appointment for your no-cost, no-obligation Needs Analysis and Replacement Estimate. The sooner you call, the sooner I’ll hand you that $500 you can use any way you want as an early present from Santa. So, if your furnace is 10 years old or older, don’t let buying holiday gifts keep you from buying the furnace you need to keep your family safe and warm this winter. Buy a furnace before December 25 and get… • $500 cash rebate to spend however you want • $500-$1,000 off the regular full price of a premium furnace & air conditioner system • $0 down and no payments with 0 interest for 6 months • Lower heating bills for the rest of the winter because of new energy-efficient furnace Just call me Santa’s Helper and call me today at 722-5304.
722-5304 “FIXED RIGHT OR IT'S FREE™”
John Haynie, Owner
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SIDES MACARONI & CHEESE • GREEN BEANS • TURNIP GREENS FRIED OKRA • BLACK EYED PEAS RICE PILAF • LIMA BEANS BROCCOLI CASSEROLE FRENCH FRIES COLE SLAW • POTATO SALAD ONION RINGS GRAVY • POTATOES W/ GRAVY
Founder George Cunningham circa 1965
9 Area Locations Football Tailgating Headquarters
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Contents Metro Spirit
D E C . 1 1 - 1 7 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M
ON THE COVER
5 M E T R O
It Will Get Cold Again, Won’t it?
Partnership or Power Trip? Augusta’s New Civic Arena By Stacey Eidson . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
S P I R I T
Mama Sophia’s Famous Pastries 19.99 for 24 pieces of Greek Desserts
Cover Design: Erin Lummen Cover Art: Courtesy of Scheer Game
FEATURES
Happy Cheesy Birthday: Velveeta Turns 75 By Brian Neill
Winter will come, you will feel the cold again and you will have to depend on your furnace for your comfort. On the first cold morning, our dispatchers at Advanced Air Technology usually schedule three weeks worth of service calls in 4 hours. Please call us for your fall furnace service early this year and avoid the panic of the first cold morning. We promise we’ll both be happier.
. . . . . . . .19
Opinion Whine Line .............................................................. 6 Words ..................................................................... 6 This Modern World ..................................................6 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ......................................8 Insider ...................................................................10
Baklava • Wedding • Cookies • Coffee Cookies • and More
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Bite
Sushi Chef Knows His Customers ..........................22
Wise Men and Women Shop at
Events
8 Days a Week .....................................................27
Arts Psychedelic Pet Paintings Pop With Personality......34 Christmas Adventures With Choral Groups .............36 Arts
Cinema
Movie Listings ......................................................37 Review: “Stuck on You” .........................................39 Review: “The Last Samurai” ..................................40 Movie Clock ..........................................................42
Music
12 Bands of Christmas Show and CD Spread Christmas Cheer ....................................................24 Fans of All Ages Can Enjoy Band Battle..................43 Music by Turner ......................................................44 Music Minis ............................................................46 Night Life ...............................................................47
Stuff News of the Weird ................................................50 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ................................51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle .......................51 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ...........................52 Date Maker ...........................................................53 Classifieds ............................................................55
Psychedelic Pet Paintings Pop With Personality . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34
EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Amy Fennell Christian, Rachel Deahl, David Elliot t, Chuck Shepherd CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow
METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809
1028 BROAD ST. • AUGUSTA, GA 30901
722-1028
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Whine Line H
ey, Democrats: No one believes your lies anymore. Your socialist Hillary Clinton spent eight years criticizing and trying to dismantle our intelligence apparatus and our military. Then she flies over to Afghanistan for a fake photo op with our troops. Our wonderful president, George W. Bush, totally upstaged her with a photo op of his own and slid into Baghdad, Iraq, and had Thanksgiving dinner with our soldiers on the ground there. Your Slick Willie didn’t even go visit the World Trade Center after it was bombed in 1993. You Democrats are a repulsive bunch of idiots. Shut up and get over it; Bush will be re-elected.
soldiers. You’ll have plenty of press then. This man is pathetic.
This is to the person out in Goshen Plantation that owns a white Maltese. I’m tired of your dog coming over to my yard (to potty). If you can’t keep your mutt in your own yard, then you don’t need it. In Richmond County there is a leash law, so if you don’t start keeping that little mutt out of my yard, then I’ll make sure the pound comes and picks it up.
Pits are the pits. Their owners got them to scare the hell out of everybody, intimidate everybody and to brag to everybody about their vicious pit. The crack dealers use them and bury their drugs under their pit bull’s chain area so local law enforcement cannot seize their main stash. License pit bulls like they are deadly automatic weapons; tax pit bulls like full acres of real estate because pits devalue an entire ‘hood. Find all of their owners who are caught failing to comply, and pay all our city bills. Two birds, one stone.
This is for commissioners Bill Kuhlke and Ulmer Bridges. I know you’re not very smart but the city workers are salary, so it’s no extra money out of the budget. Besides, we haven’t seen an increase in pay in a long time. The first of the year the insurance premiums are going up, but things like that don’t affect you because you have plenty of money to take care of your family and children during Christmas. Thanks a lot. This is a city employee. The cover last week, “Don’t Blame The White Man” was too sensational for me. A whiner raved about G.W. showing up for Thanksgiving for our troops. That’s great, I commend him … Except for the fact that he stopped off and picked up a FOX news crew. Hey George — show up to one funeral or memorial of our dead
Is the whole body piercing/tattoo fad just about over? I really hope so. You go on a date, and then you discover the piercings, and the tattoos underneath, and you wonder where her life went wrong. What is she rebelling against? Did Mommy and Daddy not approve of her hashish habit? Awww. I work every day with a guy who dresses like Little Lord Fauntleroy, and he didn’t seem to know how ridiculous it was to call people losers when he’s dressed like an Australian schoolboy. The only thing he’s missing is a bow tie and a giant lollipop. Grow up.
How dare you belittle those less fortunate folks who enjoy putting up Christmas lights. What kind of person associates a simple holiday tradition with financial status? I’ll tell you: a depraved moron, that’s who. I would be too embarrassed to even “whine” about such things; stray dogs must have raised you. It doesn’t cost squat to run those lights. This is to the person who liked how Ol’ G.W. spent Thanksgiving with our troops in Baghdad. You, Sir or Madam, are a jackass. That was a Hollywood moment. He is the reason that our troops are there. So he went over there and dished out some turkey and that’s supposed to make every-
Words “I heard everything he said. I was bored to tears.” — Augusta City Administrator George Kolb, as quoted in a gossip column in The Augusta Chronicle after Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams snapped a photo of Kolb allegedly sleeping during a commission meeting. Kolb told the paper he was bored by a lengthy talk by Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays. Ah, to be bored in a $127,000-a-year, taxpayer-funded job. George, we’re sorry the city’s business fails to hold your attention. Perhaps future meetings could be held on the golf course?
thing better and put a big Band-Aid on America. We have troops over there dying. I had people come into my club last night leaving today to go to Baghdad and Iraq to die. To go over there and die for what? So we can have more oil so G.W. can have more money and a bigger bankroll? Open your eyes: It’s a Hollywood moment. It was done for people like you and you bought right into it. To the person who said that the Pledge of Allegiance was brainwashing because it mentions God’s name: Well, 10 million cool points. If parents and their children don’t believe in God, then leave that part
out. But why should you call that brainwashing when there are millions of people obviously unlike yourself that think it’s respectable to mention this guy’s name? Next time, before you start saying “one nation under God” is brainwashing, realize this: People worship many different Gods: Jesus Christ, Buddha, Allah and whoever else. Maybe you should think about that next time before you offend someone else. Is anybody else sick of hearing about Paris Hilton? Who cares about a spoiled, continued on page 8
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That Operations Management International, Inc. (OMI), the company that oversees the county’s wastewater-treatment plant, recently donated 30 computers to the Richmond County school system. Richmond County School Superintendent Charles Larke, in a
••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• •••••
Thumbs Down That a recent, informal sampling of toys at Target revealed that one would be hard-pressed to find any toy, ball or plastic gizmo that did not bear a “Made in China” label. Even the old American standard, Scrabble, had at
continued from page 6 bratty little rich girl whose biggest dilemma in life is deciding whether to use your diamond- or emerald-studded cell phone? Give me a break! With all the poverty in the world, we are focusing our attention on this. Come on people. I could say a whole lot in reply to the person who finds the Pledge of Allegiance so offending and “brainwashing,” but maybe the bumper sticker of the ‘60s speaks volumes: “America: Love it or leave it.” I am sick to death of the bleeding hearts trying to make me feel bad for loving America and the American way of life.
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press release, said ... Oh, who really cares what he said? The main fact is that students who may not have otherwise had access to computers, now do. OMI officials encouraged other local industries to follow suit.
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It’s a pity that some people do not want to know the truth about how their state taxes may have been wasted by the state Department of Education when Linda Schrenko awarded contracts under $50,000 near the end of her term in office. Laurie Ott and Channel 12 should go one step further and seek copies of the contracts. If the contractors have not delivered the products as outlined in the contracts, they should be held accountable by the state. I hope Laurie Ott does not lose any sleep over the few viewers saying they would stop watching her newscasts. These people must want to hear/see only news items that they agree with and not news that should be important to every taxpayer. Laurie, keep the rest of us informed. They’ll never learn. Prior to Thanksgiving I had to delete three, that’s three, local stations from my car radio memory buttons because of their ridiculous idea that
least some of its parts made in the Asian country. Go ahead. Take a look for yourself as you’re navigating the shopping aisles at this, or any other, big-box retailer. What’s wrong with this picture?
we want to hear Christmas tunes 24-7. Why can’t they just interject a holiday tune every fourth or fifth song instead of going on X-mas autopilot? Maybe it’s a ploy to make you want to buy CDs as gifts, because we sure aren’t hearing the latest tunes on the radio. I think it’s time to look into satellite radio. I want to compliment you all on your wonderful article on Jerry Smith and his new book, and the proper sense that it promotes about not blaming the white man for all those tired old excuses of slavery and reparations. But I do have to ask Mr. Smith one thing: Where is your proof about the genetics of white inferiority? It would be interesting to hear about them. I wish family members would choose photos more carefully to be inserted in the newspapers. Some obituary photos are blurry, faded or less than complimentary. And to all you brides: Those sleeveless, strapless wedding gowns aren’t for flabby arms or full figures. Please take a second look at your pictures for publication. What kind of people take up two and three parking spaces with their new cars? Hope you have a nice Christmas anyway, Scrooge. — Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.
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Opinion: Insider
Some Southsiders Irked at Randy Hall
T
he ongoing friction between south Augusta and west Augusta politicos is well known. Many southsiders think the monied west Augusta power brokers disdain the southside while attempting to run the city from the Augusta Country Club. Conversely, many west Augusta political insiders don’t entirely understand the political dynamics of south Augusta. And so it goes. A case in point is the recent 8th District Augusta Commission election. It appears that several southside politicos are upset with state Sen. Randy Hall (R-23) for his support of candidate Robert Buchwitz over Smith. Ultimately, Randy Hall Smith defeated Buchwitz. According to sources, some south Augusta movers and shakers think Hall and other westsiders were “meddling” in south Augusta politics by supporting Buchwitz. Westsiders respond that while south Jimmy Smith Augustans carp about interference, they never complain about the campaign money that comes from the westside. One well-known political insider’s response to the “meddling” comment: “It takes west Augusta money to make South Augusta politics work.” Hall’s defenders point to the fact that Smith repeatedly told friends and politicians, Hall included, that he was not running for the seat. Smith committed his support to Buchwitz only to change his mind at the urging of several persuasive and powerful political deal-makers. Hall supporters say Smith changing his mind about running left Hall in a tough position. After all, Hall had given his word to Buchwitz. Regardless, this election should serve as a lesson for Hall. It is usually best for a sitting
politician to avoid becoming ensnared in someone else’s race. Inevitably, it angers one side or the other. Perhaps Hall should remain on the sidelines in future races. Many savvy sitting politicians claim neutrality when asked to become involved in another election campaign. Or, they claim to support both by giving a small donation to each side and keeping a low profile during the campaign. Hall faces a tough race next year in his district. He narrowly defeated former state Sen. Charles Walker in 2002 to gain the seat. He’s going to need all the support he can get. On the flip side, how many southsiders would actually work against Hall should Walker attempt to regain the seat as he has hinted? Not many. Get over it boys and girls. Potential Candidate for 3rd District Third district Augusta Commissioner Steve Shepard has made it known that he wants to replace Jim Wall as city attorney when Wall steps down on Dec. 31. He has also been lobbying for the job. While the politics of this situation have Steve Shepard yet to play out and Shepard’s choice is not a foregone conclusion, political insiders in the district have already found a candidate to run for Shepard’s potentially vacant seat. It appears that Barbara Sims is the chosen one. Local Republicans are pushing Sims to run and, according to reliable sources, she has agreed. Sims has been involved with Republican politics for several years. She serves as vice chairman of the Richmond County Republican Party and sits on the executive board. Sims is well liked and has helped in the political campaigns of state Rep. Sue Burmeister and state Sen. Randy Hall, as well as U.S. Congressman Charlie Norwood and Max Burns. Again, Shepard may not be selected as city attorney but if he is ... — The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
Bite a weekly feature in metro spirit
Notice to the Public Fair Housing, It’s Your Right! In cooperation with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, the City of Augusta, through its department of Housing & Neighborhood Development, is committed to promoting fair housing by informing Augusta citizens of their rights under the Fair Housing Act. In the upcoming months, HND will partner with the Augusta Human Relations Commission to disseminate information on fair housing, conduct training sessions, and promote awareness through ads and public service announcements. Every American has a right to fair housing. To live where we choose, to raise a family, and to own a home-in dignity and without fear of discrimination-is a fundamental right guaranteed to us all. It cannot be denied based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, family status, or handicap. The Department of Housing and Urban Development enforces the Fair Housing Act, which prohibits violations of housing rights.
The Fair Housing Act This Act prohibits housing discrimination on these bases: • Race or Color • National Origin • Religion • Sex • Family Status (including children under age 18 who live with parents or legal guardians, pregnant women, and people securing custody of children under 18) • Handicap The Act covers most housing. In some circumstances, however, it exempts owner-occupied buildings with no more than four units, single-family housing sold or rented without use of a broker, and housing operated by organizations or private clubs that limit occupancy to their members. Are You a Victim of Discrimination? Discrimination is often not obvious, so don’t be fooled by a smile or handshake. If you inquire about housing, and hear: • We had an apartment, but someone just put a deposit on it. • Sorry, we just rented the last apartment. • The apartment won’t be available for several months. • You probably won’t like it here. • This apartment is a little expensive, isn’t it? • We can’t make an appointment for you now. Why don’t you call back? It may be a case of discrimination based on race or color! If you hear: • I know of a nice area where more people speak your language. • We can’t have three generations living in one apartment. It may be a case of housing discrimination based on national origin! If you hear: • I think there’s a synagogue a few miles from here. You might want to try that area. • You do go to church, don’t you? It may be a case of housing discrimination based on religion!
If you hear: • The rental deposit for male tenants is a little higher because they don’t keep the place as neat. • We like to keep it “males only,” because we don’t want any “trouble.” • What income do you have besides child support and alimony? • I might have a vacancy … how bad do you want it, honey? It may be a case of housing discrimination based on sex!
What to tell HUD-
If you hear: • We don’t allow children on the second floor. • We need a higher security deposit for tenants with small children. • There’s no place for kids to play here. • The apartments are too small for kids. It may be a case of housing discrimination based on familial status!
Where to write or call: Send a letter to the fair housing office nearest you or, if you prefer, call the office directly. (The direct dial and TTY numbers for the hearing impaired are not toll free.)
If they say: • We can’t waive our “no pets” policy, not even for your service or guide dog. • I’m sorry. We rent to working people only. • Your income must be at least four times the rent. • We can’t allow you to widen any doorways to accommodate your wheelchair. • You have to wait for the first available parking place, and we can’t guarantee you the space outside you unit. It may be a case of housing discrimination based on disability! What You Can Do Housing discrimination is not only unfair, destructive, and degrading-but also illegal. Any concerned citizen can report it. If you think your rights have been violated HUD is ready to help solve problems with housing discrimination. So, if you or someone you know should suspect housing discrimination, please write or telephone the HUD office nearest you. You have just one year after an alleged violation to file a complaint with HUD. So you should file as soon as possible.
• Your name and address • The name and address of the Respondent (the person being complained about.) • The address or other identification of the housing involved. • A short description of the alleged violation (the incident you think was a violation of your rights) • The date(s) of the alleged violation(s).
Fair Housing Enforcement Center U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development Five Points Plaza 40 Marietta St., NW, 15th Floor Atlanta, GA 30303-9812 (404) 331-5140 1 (800) 440-8091 TTY (404) 730-2654 If you still have questions after you have contacted your nearest HUD office, you may contact HUD as follows: US Department of Housing and Urban Development Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity 451 Seventh St., SW, Room 5204 Washington, DC 20410-2000 (202) 708-0836 1 (800) 669-9777 TTY 1 (800) 927-9275 If you are disabled, HUD provides: • A TTY phone for the hearing impaired (see the above list for the HUD office nearest you) • Interpreters • Tapes and braille materials • Assistance in reading and completing forms Augusta Georgia Commission Housing and Neighborhood Development Department 1-10th St., Suite 430 Augusta, GA 30901 (706) 821-1797
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MetroBeat
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Making Life Hard for the Lynx
By Stacey Eidson
A
s the Augusta Lynx’s list of complaints against the civic center continues to grow, the hockey team’s patience appears to be quickly running out. Two weeks ago, Lynx General Manager Paul Gamsby asked the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority to provide the hockey team with funding from the civic center’s $40,000 marketing and promotions account to support what the team called Sunday “Kids’ Day” at the civic center. The event would allow area kids into the Lynx’s Sunday games for free, but the authority decided to turn the proposal down flat. Gamsby told the authority he was “sorry” that his request was denied, but that he was getting used to disappointment when dealing with the civic center. Prior to the November 25 authority meeting, Gamsby said he was informed by Civic Center General Manager Larry Rogers that the board also did not support the Lynx’s idea for a “Thirsty Thursday.” “Thirsty Thursday” would allow patrons attending Thursday hockey games to purchase a beer for $1. A number of authority members told Gamsby that they had never heard of his proposal. “Well, I went to Larry (Rogers) and he told me that the board voted no,” Gamsby said on November 25. Rogers said he never said any such thing. “Yes you did, sir,” Gamsby responded. Gamsby continued to inform the authority that the Lynx were experiencing a number of problems this year at the civic center, including items being stolen from the arena. The Lynx were also amazed to learn that Rogers was going to charge the team for the use of spotlights during the games. “Five years have gone by and we never paid that before, ever,” Gamsby said. “Mr. Rogers is now going to bill us for the spotlights.” Rogers called the use of the spotlights a “pass-through cost” and therefore the Lynx were responsible for the bill. “I didn’t see in their contract where it says they got free spotlights,” Rogers said. As Rogers and Gamsby continued to debate the issue, it was clear that the
“They just don’t want to do anything to help the Lynx, so they keep twisting the hockey team’s arm.” — Authority member Bill Maddox
Lynx’s relationship with the civic center was rapidly deteriorating and, by the board’s Dec. 8 special called meeting, tension between the hockey team and Rogers had apparently worsened. Authority member Joe Scott demand-
ed the board get some answers as to what was causing this feud. “I want to know what’s going,” Scott said on Dec. 8. “Paul Gamsby called me and told me that during either Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving week-
end the hockey team wanted to practice in the arena and they were told they couldn’t. Is that true or not?” Rogers said that Scott’s information was incorrect. “I don’t know anything about Thanksgiving weekend,” Rogers said. “I was informed that the Lynx wanted to practice Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Well, the building is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so we told the hockey team that they could practice, but if we had to bring people in on a paid holiday then they would have to pay them the timeand-a-half rate.” Authority member Annie Rogers said she felt it was unfair for Gamsby to complain to Scott about problems the hockey team was having with the civic center. “If he had a problem with the facility, out of courtesy, I would think he would have called the general manager first,” she said. Scott informed Rogers that, according to Gamsby, that was part of the problem. “I was told Paul attempted to reach Larry several times and no phone calls were returned,” Scott said. “And let me say this: if Paul wants to call me and tell me something or if any citizen wants to call me and tell me something is wrong at the civic center, I’m going to listen to what they say.” Authority member Bill Maddox agreed, stating that if the primary tenant in the civic center is having trouble scheduling practice times in the facility, the board should be informed of the situation. “People on this board should want to know,” Maddox said. “We need to treat these people right because if you look at the past (financial) records ... the hockey team is the best thing to happen to this arena.” Authority Chairman Billy Holden laughed and shook his head in disagreement. “You can say all you want to, Billy,” Maddox said, raising his voice, as Holden slammed down his gavel and told Maddox he was out of order. “You don’t tell me to shut up Billy,” Maddox said. “You’re not big enough.” “Aw, hush,” Holden responded. “You’re out of order.” Maddox, who was Augusta’s fire chief for almost 23 years, did not intend to back down.
“You think you can ram everything down people’s throats, but you can’t do it Billy,” Maddox continued. “You’re trying to loud-mouth everybody on this board. You don’t want anybody to discuss stuff but you. But we’re going to discuss this, and you can say I’m out of order all you want to.” Maddox said he was also informed by Gamsby that Rogers refused to return his phone calls. “Now, if Paul called Larry, and the Lynx are the only tenant we’ve got, and Larry doesn’t show him enough respect to return his calls, then we can do something with Larry,” Maddox said. Rogers said he returned Gamsby’s calls. Maddox also said if Rogers told Gamsby that the board turned down his “Thirsty Thursday” proposal, that was a “total lie” because he personally supports the idea, especially since Gamsby was planning on chartering a bus to Fort Gordon to bring soldiers to the hockey games. “Here we are trying to save Fort Gordon and I don’t know how many soldiers would come, but at least it’s a good PR thing,” Maddox said. “But Paul said Larry told him we turned it down. Now, somebody needs to check into it on this board and find out whether Larry is lying or Paul’s lying and get it straightened out.” Rogers said he spoke to a number of board members who did not support “Thirsty Thursday.”
“Who did you speak to on the board?” Maddox asked. Rogers said he spoke to authority members Millard Cox, Wayne Frazier and Holden. “That’s only two or three people,” Maddox said. “You’ve got 12 people on this board.” Rogers said he thought he was acting in the authority’s best interests. “If I made a decision incorrectly then I apologize for that,” Rogers said. “But I didn’t think that I was hired by the coliseum authority to give away concession money.” Maddox told Rogers that the next time the hockey team or anyone else makes a request to the board, he expects to be informed of the proposal. “I want to be told, I’m telling you that right now Larry,” Maddox said. “And if it happens again, I promise you, I’ll make a motion you won’t like.” After the meeting, Maddox said he refuses to allow a handful of authority members to run the civic center into the ground. “There are a couple of people here that are trying to do business and exclude all other board members,” Maddox said. “It’s just like this ‘Thirsty Thursday’ proposal. Some of them are talking about it losing money, but that’s a hidden agenda. They just don’t want to do anything to help the Lynx, so they keep twisting the hockey team’s arm. That’s wrong and I’m going to put a stop to it.”
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14 M E T R O
Partnership or Power Trip?
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Courtesy of Scheer Game
AUGUSTA’S NEW CIVIC ARENA By Stacey Eidson
I
f at first you don’t succeed in Augusta, reappraise the town’s political picture and try again. That must be the logic behind a new proposal by local businessmen William S. Morris III and Frank Lawrence to build a $94 million regional sports and entertainment arena at the vacant Regency Mall site in south Augusta. Just last year, Morris, as chairman of the Augusta Futurity and the National Barrel Horse Association, and Lawrence, as owner of Augusta’s now-dormant arena football team, desperately tried to convince Augustans to support building a then-proposed $89 million arena off River Watch Parkway to replace the existing downtown civic center. Both Morris and Lawrence insisted that over the last 20 years, the current civic
center has slowly transformed into the Achilles’ heel of Augusta. In a public presentation last November, Morris and Lawrence released the results of a $200,000 feasibility study on a new arena, conducted by ScheerGame Sports Development, LLC from Jacksonville, Fla. According to the study, the existing arena is not only undersized, noncompetitive, financially inefficient and losing valuable tenants, but it also has a terrible public image and is basically being run into the ground. This new plan presented by Morris and Lawrence proposed a 12,000-seat arena that would include 20 suites, 500 club seats, a press box, a club lounge and a privately funded equestrian facility with 600 permanent horse stalls, a covered outdoor arena and cattle-holding pens. While it didn’t take much to convince
most Augustans that the existing civic center, under the leadership of the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority, was a colossal nightmare, few believed that a new $89 million arena in west Augusta was the answer. Following the November 2002 presentation, the proposal was immediately viewed as a “Billy Morris project.” It seems sometimes it’s tough being one of the wealthiest men in town. There’s no denying the fact that a portion of citizens in Augusta have a tendency to be very critical of plans presented by Morris, CEO of Morris Communications Corp. and publisher of The Augusta Chronicle. Whether it’s because he owns a significant amount of property downtown or simply that he has a lot of political influence locally, it’s difficult to define
why some people are such skeptics, but when Morris is involved in projects, people pay attention. And last November, people weren’t impressed. Many Augustans seemed to take exception to the fact that, even though Morris had proposed investing approximately $9.9 million in the arena’s equestrian center, they felt Morris was using his political influence and the pages of his newspaper to pressure the city into paying for his pet project. Also, a number of local officials from neighboring areas like Columbia and Aiken counties were angered to hear ScheerGame’s suggestion that they should contribute financially in building the arena when many of them were not even invited to the 2002 presentation and had no knowledge of the project.
Everything just seemed to go downhill from there. A few months following ScheerGame’s presentation, the project was dead in the water. But now, almost exactly one year later, Morris and Lawrence are back with a new proposal: Build a $94 million arena in the heart of Augusta — the former site of Regency Mall. On Nov. 25, Morris and Lawrence held a meeting at Julian Smith Casino to present their idea to potential investors in the company they formed called Augusta Entertainment LLC. This is the same company that recently purchased the Augusta Lynx hockey team. The meeting reportedly was attended by more than 60 local, potential investors. Since the Metro Spirit was mistakenly left off the meeting’s invitation list, Paul Simon, spokesperson for Augusta Entertainment LLC, agreed to personally explain the details of the company’s proposal and outline why this project should be important to all Augustans. “This is a project that is good for the entire community,” Simon said, sitting in his home in west Augusta. “It’s good for south Augusta because it will be a strong economic development project out there and it will be good for all of Augusta because we do badly need a new civic center. I don’t think anybody could argue that.” Simon explained that after the arena football team, the Augusta Stallions, spent two years playing at the current civic center, Lawrence approached Morris about making a change. The two traveled to Greenville, S.C. to visit its arena, the BI-LO Center, which is managed by ScheerGame. The two were extremely impressed by the BI-LO Center, but more importantly they were blown away by ScheerGame. “ScheerGame develops and operates
centers like that, so Billy and Frank met with representatives from the company and asked them to come to Augusta,” Simon said. “They wanted them to do a study for a new arena in Augusta, which Billy and Frank agreed to pay for out of their pocket.” That’s how the November 2002 study came about. “They came back and recommended a site out on River Watch Parkway,” Simon said. “And that was floated around, but didn’t have much interest. So, we took the information they gave us and started looking around and then all of a sudden we realized here is this prime site out at Regency Mall. “We thought, politically, that would be a better location and it would also get the support of south Augusta and bring something to that area because Regency Mall is an eyesore and it needs to come down.” The more Morris and Lawrence reviewed the Regency Mall site, the more they believed the location would work. “When you start looking at the location, it’s only 38 minutes from Waynesboro; it’s eight minutes from downtown; it’s 40 minutes from Thomson; and it’s 35 minutes from Aiken,” Simon said. “It’s right in the center of the region.” While the Regency Mall site is a convenient location to area residents, Simon acknowledged that the location isn’t quite as ideal for traveling shows or out of town visitors as the previously proposed River Watch site. “I don’t think there’s any question that, from the point of view of Aiken or Columbia County, that River Watch was a better site, but when you put everything into the mix — the cost of the property, the politics and the great economical potential of the Regency Mall location — then this works out fine,” Simon said. “Now, a lot of folks continue to think the continued on page 16
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new arena ought to be on the west side (of Augusta), but it just wouldn’t work there. It would cost a lot more and we just didn’t have the support we needed.” Once Morris and Lawrence had agreed on the Regency Mall site, they had to come up with a proposal that would be both publicly and politically supported. “For something like this to get done you’ve got to have a group of people to get together to make it happen,” Simon said. “So, what we have done, first of all, we organized a company called Augusta Entertainment that, at the moment, is owned half by Frank (Lawrence) and half by Billy Morris. It’s the same company that just bought the Lynx.” And what Lawrence and Morris have proposed to do is sell shares in the company to local investors at $1,000 a unit, with the goal of raising enough money to pay off the $1 million loan used to purchase the hockey team, fund approximately three years of the company’s operations and also help promote developing the new arena. Buying shares in this company would not mean investors would own the new civic arena, Simon emphasized. The new $94 million arena would be owned by the city of Augusta because public funds are being proposed to build the facility. Augusta Entertainment has suggested that the Augusta Commission ask voters to support spending $60 million of special purpose local option sales tax money on building a new arena at Regency Mall. Citizens are expected to vote on Phase V of SPLOST funding in July 2004. Augusta Entertainment is also asking the city to underwrite $24 million in excise tax bonds and $10 million in revenue bonds. In addition, Morris and Lawrence have requested that, if the new civic arena is built, Augusta Entertainment be allowed to contract with ScheerGame to privately operate and manage the facility, thereby eliminating a governing public body like the coliseum authority. “So, what we will be asking the county to do is support a plan which would include the following: Number one, they would agree to provide, through the sales tax referendum, $60 million. Number two, they would also be approving $24 million in excise tax bonds to be issued by the county and be serviced by the current hotel-motel tax,” Simon said, explaining that the hotel-motel taxes that project organizers are asking for is the same revenue that is currently being allocated to the coliseum authority. “And finally, there would be another $10 million that would be issued as project revenue bonds. “In other words, the revenue from the arena itself — let’s say money from the sale of the tickets or operations — that would service the $10 million bond. And we are projecting that the project will be profitable.” Simon said it was too early to predict how profitable the arena could be, but last November, when Morris and Lawrence
“Let’s be honest. I think if other people in this community were planning the same type of project, there would be scrutiny from all sides from a lot of people. So, we need more information.” — Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays gave their first presentation for a new arena, Steven Stern, CEO of ScheerGame, told the audience, “This building could make up to $1.5 million a year before contributing to debt service.” Speaking of debt service, the existing civic center currently has approximately $6 million left to pay on its bond. Simon is proposing that the city pay off the bond indebtedness, tear down the existing facility and consider building the proposed $74 million judicial site in the current civic center’s parking lot. So, obviously, the city of Augusta would play a major role in Augusta Entertainment’s proposal for a public/private partnership, but where exactly do the private investors come into play? “What we are trying to do is raise $2.4 million from the public,” Simon said, explaining that, with financial investments made by Morris, Lawrence and ScheerGame, Augusta Entertainment’s value will be approximately $3 million. “The way it works, ScheerGame, as part of their fee to run the civic center — and I’ve already negotiated with them their fees on developing the arena and also a fee as to what they charge to operate it once it’s up and running — but part of that fee will be a five percent interest in this company to start with,” Simon said. “If we are successful in getting the sales tax referendum passed, which means ScheerGame has to go to work to help get that done, then they get another five percent.” Therefore, ScheerGame could potentially own 10 percent of Augusta Entertainment. “Now, Billy (Morris) and Frank
(Lawrence) each have put up money. I can’t give you the exact number because they are paying (the hockey team’s) expenses as they go along, but it’s over $100,000 apiece that they’ve already put in it,” Simon said. “Well, they are going to put in the difference between whatever that number is that they’ve already paid in expenses to date and $150,000. “So, they will have paid their cash, equal to $150,000 each. So, each of them would have five percent of the company.” Therefore, approximately $2.4 million, or 80 percent of the company, would be available for the public to purchase. “Anybody can buy as many units as they want at $1,000 each. My hope is we get a lot of $1,000 (shares sold) because that means you’ve got a lot of people involved and have a lot of support for the new arena,” Simon said. “But what they own now, and we need to make this clear, is not the facility itself. Again, that will be owned by the county. “They will have an interest in two things: One is the hockey team. And the second interest they would have is, if all of this works out, they would have an interest in an agreement, a contract to run the facility.” Investing in Augusta Entertainment is not something that citizens should take lightly, Simon said. “What I tell people, and I’ll tell anybody, ‘This is a very risky investment,’” Simon said. “We are telling people, ‘Here is what we are trying to accomplish, but all I can promise you is you’re going to own an interest in the hockey team.’ “In other words, if we fail on the SPLOST vote or we can’t get the county
to go along with it, then, in the end, you may own an interest in the hockey team that is losing money at the current civic center. That’s the worst side of it.” But Simon said he’s asking citizens to look at this investment in a different light. “What I’m asking is for you to consider an investment in the community because that’s what it really is,” Simon said. After the Nov. 25 meeting, Simon said he got a call from a number of people interested in his proposal. In fact, someone wanted to purchase $150,000 worth of shares and have an equal amount of ownership as Morris. “But we can’t accept any money yet,” Simon said. “Under the SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) rules, I think we have to wait 40 days or something before we even accept any money.” Those investors interested in the proposal were asked to fill out an information sheet and will be sent an offering circular early next year. Simon said he hopes to collect the $2.4 million by February or March so Augusta Entertainment can push to get the SPLOST passed in July. “This is a real community project,” Simon said. “I want to really emphasize this to you: This company is not going to be made up of a few people who are going to get something out of it. Billy (Morris) and Frank (Lawrence) are interested as citizens because they want to have a new arena in Augusta. “Of course, they may have a little more interest in that because they have shows and teams involved with the current civic center. But, if Augusta builds a new civic center, they are going to pay their fair rate for the time they spend in the arena. And as an investor, they will be treated like everybody else. Billy Morris being equal to anybody who owns five percent.” One of the reasons the new plan does not include Morris’ equestrian center is because he didn’t want it to be seen as a “Billy Morris project,” Simon said. “You don’t see any horse barns in the artist’s rendering of the arena,” Simon said. “There aren’t any Billy Morris horses out there. They are going to leave the horses over there at the Hippodrome in North Augusta, which is owned by the (Morris) company. “Now, I won’t say to you that it’s not more convenient to have your barns and all out here at Regency Mall, but if that ever happens, it will be a private investment that will come later. There would be no public money going toward Billy Morris’ horses.” Of course, no matter how much planning or promotion Augusta Entertainment does on this proposal, Simon said everyone realizes its completely up to the Augusta Commission to either make or break this deal. “It all hinges on the county commission because they have to support it. They’ve got to be behind it,” Simon said. “If they don’t, the project is dead.” But approving this proposal may not be so easy for Augusta commissioners when they are considering more than $500 million worth of Phase V sales tax
requests. Augusta Entertainment’s request for $60 million of the sales tax money for a “quality of life” project may not sit well with some commissioners. Even Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek, who has been a strong advocate of bringing economic development to the Regency Mall site, has some reservations with Augusta Entertainment’s proposal. “We desperately need something to happen in that area and I like the way they are talking about having a professional company come in and run the arena for profit so we can avoid the mess that we currently have with the coliseum authority,” Cheek said. “But, while the comments I’ve heard about the public/private partnership all sound good, it seems to be more a case of the public building it and them running it. I’m not sure if that’s an equal partnership.” Instead of having an authority govern the new arena, Augusta Entertainment has suggested the city agree to a “memorandum of understanding” that would turn over the operations of the facility to Augusta Entertainment for 30 years. The city and the investors would then split any profit resulting from the operations of the facility after the debt service on the bond is paid. “The way we split it up right now is, first, you have your profits. From that you would pay your service debt on the bond,” Simon said. “After that, we would take some money (approximately $250,000 a year) and put it into a reserve
cash account for maintenance of the building. “After that, whatever is left, and we project that there will be money left, a third of that would go to repay the 15-year bonds and the remaining part of money would be split with the county getting half and this company getting half.” Simon also assured the public that any future contract that Augusta Entertainment will have with the city will provide financial reports and audits of money spent and collected by and for the new arena. “I’m hoping we don’t want to get back to where we are now with some kind of authority,” Simon said. “Instead, what I’m hoping is, through these contracts, we can have various restrictions or whatever covenants the county wants to put in the agreement to make this organization do what they want us to do. “And if we don’t do it, the city can then get somebody else. They can run us off. “But during our negotiating with the commissioners, if it is determined that it is in everybody’s best interest to have some kind of committee or something, all of that is open for consideration,” Simon added. “We are not saying that that wouldn’t work. What I am saying is, we don’t want to get back to where we are now.” Cheek said he personally would support putting the initiative on the SPLOST ballot if the proposed funding for the arena was broken out from the regular sales tax list.
Sensational!
Simon said separating funding for the arena from the rest of the sales tax list could seriously jeopardize the project. “I think it needs to be all together, under one umbrella,” Simon said. “In other words, if you start breaking things out, it becomes a problem, I think.” Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson, whose district includes the Regency Mall site, said he absolutely agrees with Simon. “I would rather see it on one ballot and bring it to the voters to vote up or down,” Hankerson said. “I think the proposed plan they have for the sports arena is beautiful and it will get rid of that eyesore out there.” The only concern that Hankerson had with the project was he also felt that the city should have more say in the operations of the arena if it is going to contribute such a large amount of money. “I think with the level of monies from the SPLOST, I think there is going to have to be some representation from the government,” Hankerson said. “There’s going to have to be with the way the financing is currently being presented.” Coliseum Authority Chairman Billy Holden said he is astonished that the Augusta Commission is even considering giving Augusta Entertainment that much money without having some type of public board overseeing the arena’s operations. “The whole thing about this new arena is those proposing it just don’t like to deal with the people running a public
facility,” Holden said. “They want to take the public money and run it themselves and I don’t think that’s a very good deal.” Authority member Bill Maddox said the community, as well as the coliseum authority, should consider what Morris and Lawrence are proposing, but he was skeptical about their projections that a new arena would make money. “No matter where you build it, you are not going to fill the arena up,” Maddox said. “Certain people in this town will support hockey and other events and certain of them won’t. So, when they talk about, they are going to pay off the debt from the profit of the arena, I can tell you, that is not going to happen. There is not going to be any profit.” Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays said that those types of public concerns need to addressed. “I think there are a lot of questions that have to be asked, but there are a lot of things that sound and look good,” Mays said. “The thing that concerns me is, you have a large amount of public money that will go towards a project that will basically be run privately, so I think the general public needs to know the full plans here. Because let’s be honest. I think if other people in this community were planning the same type of project, there would be scrutiny from all sides from a lot of people. So, we need more information. “Right now, my mind has not been made up.”
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Happy Cheesy Birthday: Velveeta Turns 75 By Brian Neill
I
t was always there, that yellow, elongated, rectangular box just to the right of the milk and behind the see-through container of green fruit Jell-O and the pickle jar. You pulled off the box top and lifted out that cool, firm mass of comfort wrapped in silver foil with the word “Kraft” printed over and over again on it in blue letters like some kind of crazy, institutional wallpaper. As the space between the inner-box end and folded-down foil continued to increase with each successive encounter with the butter knife (more crude cuts) or cheese slicer (incisions of orangeyyellow perfection) you didn’t worry. Somehow, instinctively even, you knew they’d make more. Your dad would try to tempt you with that cheese made by Trappist monks in Kentucky the friend of the family would always send around Christmas. Or the stinky, blue-veined Stilton he’d bring back from the occasional trip to England.
“That’s not cheese; here, try some real cheese,” he’d say, holding forth a wedge of the stuff that smelled like a case for the expiration-date authorities. Instead, you clung firmly to the foilwrapped obelisk, knowing that it was superior and, more importantly, better smelling than those hoity-toity imposters in their misshapen packages. No, this was ... real cheese. Sitting-in-front-of-the-TV cheese. Break-between-playing-army cheese. White bread-and-mayo cheese. This was Velveeta. Just listen to how it rolls off the tongue: Vel-vee-tahhh. And this year, that miracle “cheese food” in a box turned 75 years old. That’s right. For three quarters of a century this epicurean marvel, the velveteen Velveeta, has graced the kitchens of American families. Well, some American families, anyway. Although Velveeta has made countless melted cheese sandwiches and gone into
untold gallons of queso dip, it seems to get little respect, often being corralled into the pseudo-food corner with Spam and Vienna sausages. You won’t find Velveeta at the Fresh Market, a deli manager there said, although the store does carry more than 200 varieties of other cheeses. You also won’t find it in the kitchen of local restaurant, Bistro 491. “I tell you what, it makes a damned good cheese dip for nachos. That’s about all I know about Velveeta,” said Todd Schafer, head chef and owner of the restaurant. “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t put it on a cheese cart or anything. I guess it fits its purpose for, you know, whatever.” Whatever, indeed. Velveeta actually owes its existence to an entrepreneurial cheesemaker from Switzerland by the name of Emil Frey. Frey had been employed by the Monroe Cheese Company in Monroe, N.Y., and had much success in developing a cheese
called Liederkranz, according to an historical account on the Web site for the town’s annual Cheese Festival. Frey came up with the formula for making Velveeta cheese through experimenting on his home stove. The result was the birth of the Velveeta Cheese Company, which was incorporated in February of 1923. Alyssa Burns, a spokesperson for Kraft, said the company purchased the Velveeta Cheese Company in 1925 and applied the Velveeta name to Kraft’s internally developed product in 1928. Until the mid 1940s, Velveeta was sold in wooden boxes. Current boxes of Velveeta require no refrigeration until they are opened and can last on the store shelf or in the kitchen pantry for seven months (210 days to be exact), Burns said. Burns said Kraft doesn’t discuss how much Velveeta is sold each year, but continued on page 20
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judging by the number of recipes on the Web that call for it, one would guess, a lot. Though foodies consider it sacrilege to refer to Velveeta as cheese, the product is actually described by Kraft as a pasteurized, process cheese loaf that’s a mixture of Colby, Swiss and Cheddar. See, you get a little bit of everything. But that could make pairing Velveeta with wine a challenge. Fortunately, Andrew Benjamin, coowner of Wine World in North Augusta, was willing to help. “If you’re going to go really cheesy, the Velveeta palate is a special thing. So, you probably want to do something like the Andre Cold Duck sparkling wine, which is fairly priced at $3.99,” Benjamin said. “We have a Goats do Roam ($8.99), which of course is a cheesy take-off on Cotes du Rhone. But this is from South Africa and it’s a white wine, and it’s a blend and it’s very nice.” However, Benjamin said he realizes Velveeta is often not eaten alone, but incorporated into other dishes. “Sometimes people might melt it on their hamburger, so we thought a red might go good,” Benjamin said. “It is (Velveeta’s) birthday, and it’s 75 years old, so we thought that the Old Fart red ($7.99) might be a good one. It’s a French wine. We thought originally that we should choose only American wines, but then we thought, well, Velveeta is truly an international problem at this point. “All of those I think would go well with
the food suited, except for this Andre (Cold Duck). I don’t know if it goes well with anything. But I don’t know if Velveeta goes well with anything, so they might make a nice pair.” So, leave the good china where it is, substitute a cozy, plastic tumbler for those long-stem glasses and sit down for an easy, cheesy dinner. Following are a few Velveeta recipes, including a couple from my dear, old mother: Stuffed Hot Dogs 1 package hot dogs 1 jar wedged dill pickle strips (as opposed to the flat, thin kind) Velveeta cheese Regular mustard Slice the hot dogs lengthwise, but not all the way through, leaving a V to receive the stuffing. First, run mustard down the center of the hot dogs. Then, add the pickle strips (slice them down the middle if too thick) and top with thin chunks of Velveeta. Place on a cookie sheet in an oven preheated to 350 degrees. Cook until the hot dogs appear done and the cheese has melted. Source: Mom. Cheese-Smothered Cauliflower 1 head of cauliflower 4 cups (approximately) whole or skim milk 1/2 loaf (approximately) of Velveeta
10 oz. T-Bone
Remove excess leaves and bottom stem from cauliflower head and boil or steam until cooked through. Meanwhile, add about 2 cups of milk to a medium-sized deep pan or pot over medium-low heat. Add several large chunks of Velveeta and continue to stir as it melts, monitoring heat to prevent scalding. As the cheese sauce melts, continue to add more milk and/or Velveeta as needed to render a thick consistency that can still be poured. You want to make enough cheese sauce to completely cover the cauliflower head and also form a small reservoir surrounding it on a large, deep dish or bowl. Place cooked cauliflower head in the middle of the dish or bowl and pour the melted cheese sauce over the top and down the sides. Serve. Source: Mom. Velveeta Fudge 3/4 lb. (12 oz.) Velveeta or Velveeta Light Reduced Fat Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product, cut up 1 cup (two sticks) butter or margarine 6 squares Baker’s unsweetened baking chocolate 2 Tbs. light corn syrup 2 16-oz. packages powdered sugar (about 8 cups) 1-1/2 cups chopped Planters pecans 1 tsp. Vanilla
minutes and stir. Microwave an additional minute and stir until well blended. Add chocolate mixture, in batches, to a large bowl containing the sugar. Beat each addition of the chocolate mixture well until the whole bowl of ingredients is well-blended. Stir in pecans and vanilla. Pour into a greased, 13x9-inch pan. Smooth top with spatula and cover. Refrigerate several hours or until firm. Cut into 96, 1-inch squares. Source: Kraft. Cheesy Beer Soup 1/2 cup finely chopped onion 1 clove garlic, minced 1 Tbs. butter or margarine 1 pound Velveeta, cut up 3/4 cup milk 1/2 cup beer 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce A few drops hot pepper sauce Cook and stir onion and garlic in butter in large saucepan on mediumhigh heat until tender. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add the Velveeta, milk, beer, Worcestershire sauce and hot pepper sauce and cook, stirring constantly, for five minutes or until the Velveeta is melted and the soup is hot. Serve garnished with green onion slices. Source: Kraft.
Place Velveeta, butter, chocolate and corn syrup in a large, microwaveable bowl. Microwave on high for two
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Bite
Sushi Chef Knows His Customers
By Amy Fennell Christian
I
t’s a recent Friday night at Kurama, and a customer asks for a pair of chopsticks. The young guy is obviously a regular at Sushi Chef Tony Runger’s bar, but the request still comes as a bit of a shock to both Runger and the wait staff. The chef, who has a few minutes to spare, leans against the bar near the teenage customer who has begun to struggle with the utensils. Alternately surveying the room and checking on the teen’s progress, Runger looks more than a little amused as he accuses the customer of cheating by spearing the food rather than using both sticks to pick it up. Finally, after much ribbing, Runger finally turns back to making sushi, but not before saying, “I think you killed it.” Such exchanges are typical at Kurama’s sushi bar, where regular customers have become as fond of Runger’s good-natured sarcasm as they have of his food. Kurama opens each day at 4:30, but Runger can be found at the bar usually about three hours before opening — preparing 20-pound hunks of tuna, assessing and restocking the bar’s inventory and making sushi rice, something he says is as important, if not more so, than the star ingredients. When the restaurant opens, however, Runger is ready for business in his trademark white headband. His memory is astounding: Many times he’ll order for his regulars, naming off the dishes they usually like as they nod in agreement. He carefully spaces out orders so that another dish magically appears just as the previous one is finished. And the menu choices are always terrific, especially the Tuna Carpaccio. The thin slices of purplish-maroon colored fish are doused with a dressing Runger said many local restaurants have tried to imitate and topped with small chunks of avocado. It’s a beautifully simple dish that is perfect with a cup of sake or hot tea. But enough about the food — what about Runger himself? The Metro Spirit somehow managed to get this private person, who often responds to questions simply with a smile or a shake of the head, to talk, and here’s what we found out about one of the most popular sushi chefs in Augusta. When did you first decide to become a sushi chef? I didn’t really think about it until my boss asked me if I wanted to try something new and I said, “Sure.” Does the thought of your customers constantly watching you make you nervous? When I first began learning how to make sushi, yeah, I got nervous. After a little while, I got used to it really. The only difference in my job is I have to prepare everything in front of the customers after they order. We don’t make anything beforehand. You’ve developed a lot of regular customers. Is it because of you or the food? I think it’s a little bit of both. I even have customers from other states. They come in for business once or twice a year and they never forget to stop here.
Do you have favorite customers? I think everybody has favorite customers, but I’m not going to tell you who they are. Do you help customers who have never had sushi before? It’s very hard to tell, really — it depends on the customer. Sometimes customers will even tell me if they’ve never had sushi before and will ask me to work with them, what kind of sushi is best for them to try. The best way is to get the sushi combo. It’s a little bit of everything and you can try and see what you like. What are good sushi starter dishes? Tuna or yellowtail. Those are the main things everybody likes to try first because they’re very mild and they’ve got a good flavor to them. Which are for a more advanced sushi connoisseur? Sea urchin, salmon eggs. Those kinds of things people are more afraid to try out. But if they’d try them, they’d probably like them. Do you ever do anything special for your customers? A lot of customers will come in and say, “Hey Tony, make me something — I don’t care what.” If they say, “Hey, I want to try something new,” that’s the fun part — making something they never had before and seeing if they like it. Do you ever take it personally when someone doesn’t like something? Not really, but it depends. If some people like it and some don’t that means it’s not because of me. Everybody’s got their own tastes. Do you give advice about other sushi restaurants? I don’t like to tell my customers what I think about other restaurants. I want them to judge for themselves. I’m not going to say, “Don’t go here; don’t go there.” It’s a free country. They have to try it out and see what the differences are because every restaurant is different. So what other restaurants do you like to go to? That’s a tough question. Sometimes I don’t go any place at all. Sometimes after a weekend when I’m busy, I don’t want to go anyplace at all. What’s the best part of being a sushi chef? Meeting all kinds of different customers and making them happy.
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Arts
& Entertainment
12 Bands of Christmas Show and CD Spread Christmas Cheer
I
f you haven’t already purchased your copy of “The 12 Bands of Christmas: Volume 1,” there’s still time to pick one up and get in the Christmas mood before the 12 Bands of Christmas show Dec. 21 at the Imperial Theatre. The local compilation features both new and old holiday tracks by the bands that will be gracing the Imperial’s stage to raise money for the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Joe Stevenson, an Augusta musician and one of the hosts of 95 Rock’s “Homegrown,” is one of three people who coordinated this year’s event and CD release. “Coco (Rubio) has always headed up the concert and been responsible for lining the bands up, and (Ruskin) Yeargain and I are old friends,” says Stevenson. “I think I was talking to him about the lack of local Christmas music for my radio show and how cool it would be to put together a compilation CD of local Christmas songs. I kind of threw it out on the radio back in August or so. I got together with Ruskin, who basically had the idea of talking to Coco to see if he was interested in tying together 12 Bands with a compilation.” The album, so far, is doing well, Stevenson says. About 700 copies were pre-sold to over 50 local vendors. “What I’ve found is that a lot of the vendors have already sold out or are close to selling out the CD,” says Stevenson. “ I would say I don’t think there’s another local release that’s come close to selling so quickly.” One of the things Stevenson attributes
Daze of Haze
the album’s success to is Yeargain’s polished production work. “The bands have been very impressed with Ruskin’s work,” says Stevenson. “That’s the challenge in having so many different bands on the CD — how do you get it sounding consistent? And really, the number one thing is you record it in all the same place and you have the same guy produce it. We had, really, three weeks to get all the bands recorded and bands are different, too. It’s not like they’re the same setup.” A limited number of “The 12 Bands of Christmas: Volume 1” CDs will be available at the show. Other 12 Bands merchandise will be on hand, including Tshirts and autographed posters. Proceeds from those sales will also go to the MCG Children’s Medical Center. “We kicked around a lot of ideas, and we wanted (to benefit) a local charity and we wanted it to have to do with children,” Stevenson says. “The Children’s Medical Center was kind of a recurring suggestion from potential sponsors. It just kind of seemed like the right thing. … I think that it was just a good match. “The other thing that’s unique about this, this is not just your typical fundraiser. It’s using the music community, showcasing their talents. It costs nothing to the band. Our whole idea was for the bands not to have to pay a dime. All the costs of recording are covered; all the licensing fees are covered. We wanted the artists to really benefit from this on a different level. I think it’s going to make a lot of people happy on a lot of different levels.”
Pat Blanchard
Stevenson also hopes that, with the 12 Bands of Christmas show, musicians can change how Augusta audiences buy tickets to concerts. “Augusta is such a walk-up town, and we’re trying to do a lot of different things outside of doing a good deed by raising money for MCG,” he says. “We’re trying to change the mentality and show Augusta, hey, there are some great bands in this community and try to get people to order tickets in advance. I think what people don’t realize is, if you can consistently sell tickets in Augusta, more bands come through. How great would it be if this show was considered a sell-out? 850 tickets, I think, is sell-out capacity. That shouldn’t be a problem.” As a supplement to the audience support the 12 Bands show is expected to draw, the event and CD have already been supported by a hefty number of local sponsors. “This really wouldn’t be possible at the magnitude that we’re doing it without the sponsors that have come on board. We’ve had some really good major sponsors. We’ve got to give a lot of credit because, obviously, it takes money to do these things,” says Stevenson. “It wasn’t real hard to pick the bands. The bands were, from what we all felt, ones that were doing a little something, and it was a pretty easy choice. Our plan is, next year, we’d like to do different bands every year. Really, bands, now’s the time to start thinking about it while you’re in the Christmas spirit. We’ve got some big plans to continue this every year.”
Livingroom Legends
By Lisa Jordan
The Show The 12 Bands of Christmas show begins at 6 p.m. Dec. 21 at the Imperial Theatre. Doors open at 5 p.m. Tickets are $6 and are available at the Imperial Theatre Box Office, by phone at 722-8341 or online at www.imperialtheatre.com. Performance schedule is as follows: Lives of Reily: 6:00-6:20 Daze of Haze: 6:30-6:50 Joe Stevenson: 7:00-7:20 Livingroom Legends: 7:30-7:50 Impulse Ride: 8:00-8:20 Shaun Piazza: 8:30-8:50 Patrick Blanchard Band: 9:00-9:20 Deathstar: 9:30-9:50 Tara Scheyer and the Half-Shirt Leroys: 10:00-10:20 Turtleneck: 10:30-10:50 Hellblinki Sextet: 11:00-11:20 Jemani: 11:30-11:50 The CD For a complete listing of vendors selling “The 12 Bands of Christmas: Volume 1,” visit www.12bandsofchristmas.com. CDs are $10 apiece. All proceeds from the show and the CD benefit the MCG Children’s Medical Center.
Hellblinki Sextet
25
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Arts
Auditions
AUDITIONS FOR “EVITA” 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11-12 and 11 a.m. Dec. 13 at First Baptist Church of Nor th Augusta. Roles available for men and women ages 16 and up. All those auditioning must have a prepared solo. Contact the Augusta Players for more information at 826-4707. ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039. SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.
Education
THE PAINTERLY PRINT monotype demonstration by ar tist Phillip M. Garret t and informal gallery talk with ar tist Edward Rice 2 p.m. Dec. 14 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admission. 724-7501. ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pottery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Gertrude Herbert, call 722-5495. The Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include voice lessons and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Call 731-0008 for details.
Exhibitions “R ABIN REMEMBERED” photographic exhibition highlighting the life and accomplishments of Prime Minister Yitzchak Rabin at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Free admission. 228-3636. PAINTINGS BY LINDA BAACK will be at the Gibbs Library throughout December. 863-1946. ANNUAL DOLLS EXHIBITION through Dec. 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. For additional information, visit www.lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. AT BROADSTROKES ART GALLERY in December: works by Marilyn Landers and Jim Fir th. For more information, call Broadstrokes at 774-1026.
“CITY COWS AND COUNTRY DOGS” exhibit of works by Rober t Marinich at the Banker Dearing Gallery through Dec. 31. Call 823-1060. HOLIDAY EXHIBITION featuring the works of 21 ar tists through Dec. 21 at the Mar y Pauline Galler y. Call 724-9542. THE POTTERY OF NELLIE ANDREWS PIERCE will be at the Ar t Factory through Jan. 9. Call 731-0008 for info. “LET’S PLAY: PASTIMES FROM THE PAST” through Feb. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. For more information, call 722-8454. “ANGELS ALL AROUND” exhibit through Dec. 31 at Aiken County Historical Museum. For information, call (803) 642-2015. “THE LOW COUNTRY: PAINTINGS BY PRESTON RUSSELL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Jan. 11. For more info, call 724-7501. “BABY-BOOM DAYDREAMS: THE ART OF DOUGLAS BOURGEOIS” will be on exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information. “EDWARD RICE: RECENT MONOTYPES” exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t runs through Jan. 4. Call 724-7501. “DEANNE DUNBAR: OBJECTS OF DESIRE” will be on display at the Rabold Gallery in Aiken through Feb. 14. For more information, call (803) 641-4405 or e-mail raboldgallery@bellsouth.net.
AT THE ETHERREDGE CENTER through Dec. 19: Billy S. exhibits in the Upper Gallery, Ar thur Lien exhibits in the Lower Gallery. (803) 641-3305.
Dance
THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.
Music
“STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN” at the Bell Auditorium has been rescheduled for Jan. 17. Tickets are $34 for floor seats and seating in parts of the balcony and $28 in the rest of the balcony. Call 722-3521.
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“TWO PAINTERS AND A POTTER” holiday exhibition with works by Bea Kuhlke, Elizabeth Moretz-Brit t and David Stuar t Dec. 11, 6-10 p.m., in the Nor th Tower of Enterprise Mill. Call (803) 279-7813.
AVIS LYLE AND MARY ALICE LOCKHART exhibit in the ar t hall at Sacred Hear t Cultural Center throughout December. Call 826-4700.
27
Ben and Keeter bring a holiday puppet show to the Maxwell Branch Library Dec. 13. Call 793-2020 for information.
Theater “‘TWAS THE LAST MAILING DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS” Dec. 31, 6:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church, 3500 Walton Way. Call 733-2236 for information. GARY CONR AD will be at For t Gordon Dinner Theatre for two shows Dec. 13. 7:30 p.m. show is G rated, while 10 p.m. show is rated PG-13. Cabaret seating includes cof fee and desser t. All tickets are $10. Call 793-8552. “COD ROASTER” will be at the Imperial Theatre Dec. 12, 8 p.m. VIP tickets are $25 and include admission to the after-show onstage reception. General admission tickets are $15. Call 722-8341 or visit www.imperialtheatre.com. “THE HOMECOMING” will be per formed by the Young Ar tists Reper tory Theatre Company Dec. 11-13 at Augusta Preparatory Day School. Dec. 11-12 per form-
ances include a dinner and desser t served before the show and Dec. 13 per formance is a desser t per formance. Tickets for dinner theatre are $20 adult, $18 seniors and $15 for youth 3 and up. Desser t theatre tickets are $14 adults, $12 children. Per formanceonly tickets are $10-$12. Reservations required; call 210-8915. “A SANDERS FAMILY CHRISTMAS” will be performed Dec. 12-13 at the Abbeville Opera House. Call (864) 366-2157 for information.
Attractions AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry.
are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission 28 Hours is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. M E T R O S P I R I T
Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440.
THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 D a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more E by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 C students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828. 1 AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF 1 2 0 0 3
HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variet y of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and militar y; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are t wo for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, virtual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quar ters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.
HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. Call 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.
Museums “ART AT LUNCH: A CAJUN CHRISTMAS” Dec. 19 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Docent Peggy Ruth Geren shares the traditions of Christmas, New Orleans-style. Program begins at noon. Enjoy Creole cuisine or bring a brown-bag lunch. Admission is $10 for members and $12 for non-members. Reservations required. Call 724-7501. “CELEBRATION OF FLIGHT” exhibit at Fort Discovery’s Knox Gallery runs through Jan. 31. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to Fort Discovery. For more information, visit www.NationalScienceCenter.org or call 821-0200. HOLIDAY ESCAPE 2-4 p.m. Dec. 21 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Enjoy holiday refreshments and live music by Jim McGaw. Free admission. 724-7501. THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the WalkerMackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Stor y,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local histor y. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discover y Galler y, where kids can learn about histor y in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the Histor y Theatre and hosts a variet y of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information.
THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.
Special Events CHRISTMAS AT EUDORA FARMS in Salley, S.C., 5 p.m. Dec. 19-20 featuring horse-drawn wagon rides, concer t, visit from Santa and more. Tickets are $6 per person; free for kids ages 2 and under. Call (803) 564-3305 by Dec. 14 to make reservations. “DIGISTAR LASER FANTASY” program Dec. 19-20, 2627 and Jan. 2-3 at the Dupont Planetarium in Aiken. Shows begin at 9 p.m. and ticket prices are $5.50 adults, $4.50 senior citizens and $3.50 students K-12. Call (803) 641-3769 or (803) 641-3654. “CHRISTMAS IN THE QUARTERS” ever y Saturday at Redclif fe Plantation in Beech Island. Program star ts at 2 p.m. with a guided tour through the plantation’s slave quar ters and stories about 19th centur y Christmas rituals. On Dec. 20, Kit t y Wilson-Evans will share stories, songs and games. Fee is $4 for adults and $3 for children. Call (803) 827-1473 for information. COMMUNITY CHANUKAH LATKE PARTY Dec. 14, 5 p.m., at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Cost is $7 for adults, age 14 and up, or $4 for children ages 313. Please RSVP by Dec. 11 at 228-3636.
2003 CHRISTMAS FANTASY PARADE on Broad Street in downtown Augusta beginning at 1:30 p.m. Dec. 14. Call 267-3833 or 733-8927 for information. FREE FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Librar y: Dec. 13 screening of “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” and Dec. 14 screening of “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.” Films begin at 2 p.m. Call 821-2600. “BUSINESS AT BREAKFAST” 7:30-8:30 a.m. Dec. 11 at Piccadilly Cafeteria. Cost is $5-$7 for Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce members and $8-$10 for nonmembers. Call 821-1300. AIKEN CHORAL SOCIETY HOLIDAY HOMES TOUR 4-7 p.m. Dec. 15 in Aiken. Map pickup location is The Iron Pony, 210 York St. Cost is $10 per person or $9 per person in advance. Group rates available. For info, contact Patricia Car ter Hall, (803) 649-9193. FORT GORDON ANNUAL CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING Dec. 12, 6 p.m., in Freedom Park. The U.S. Army Signal Corps band will per form and Santa Claus will visit. Free and open to the public. 791-9536. CHRISTMAS IN HOPELANDS 6-9 p.m. Dec. 13-17, 19-23 and 25-27 at Hopelands in Aiken. Light displays, ar tisans’ showcase and holiday concer ts. Free admission, but donations are appreciated. Shut tle buses run from the parking lot of the Goodwill Store on Whiskey Road and Winn Di x ie on York Street. (803) 642-7631. NORTH AUGUSTA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BUSINESS AFTER HOURS 5:30-7:30 p.m. Dec. 11. Call (803) 279-2323. HOLIDAYFEST FAMILY CELEBRATION is free and at Augusta Common noon-6 p.m. Dec. 14. For more information, contact Don Mathews, 826-0026. “WOMEN IN BUSINESS” Dec. 16 at Pullman Hall. Beauty control consultant Beverly Murphy will present a program entitled “WIB Holiday Special.” Cost is $12$15 for Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce members and $15-$18 for non-members. 821-1300. “‘TIS THE SEASON” show at the Dupont Planetarium Dec. 16, 19-20, 23, 27, 30 and Jan. 2-3 at 7 and 8 p.m. Prices are $4.50 adults, $3.50 senior citizens and $2.50 students K-12. Call (803) 641-3769.
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GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART HOLIDAY ARTISTS’ MARKET Dec. 10-13. Enjoy ar ts and craf ts, exhibits, live music, storytelling, ar tists’ demonstrations, cookie-decorating contest, wine and cheese reception and more. Free admission. Call 722-5495.
M E T R O
FANTASY OF LIGHTS at Augusta Golf and Gardens Dec. 12-14 and 17-24. Admission is $4 adults, $2 children. Kids in strollers admitted free. Call 724-4443 or 667-9695.
S P I R I T
BOOK SIGNINGS WITH STEVEN EUIN COBB Dec. 13, 2-6 p.m. at Borders Books and Music; and Dec. 20, 2-6 p.m. at Waldenbooks. Cobb will be signing copies of “Plague at Redhook.” Call Borders, 737-6962, or Waldenbooks, 737-4287, for information.
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MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com.
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COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020.
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RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.
Out of Town “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” will be presented at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta Dec. 11-21. Call (404) 874-5299. WORKS BY SHISHIR CHOKSHI AND RAOUL PACHECO will be on display at The Kalmanson Gallery in Swainsboro, Ga., through Dec. 23. Call (478) 237-2592 for information or 828-0334 for directions. ATHENS INSTITUTE OF CONTEMPORARY ART in Athens, Ga., welcomes submissions of Web site projects to be featured in ATHICA’s Virtual Art Gallery. Deadline is Dec. 21. Forward URL address of artist project, statement and art-based resume to Didi Dunphy, didi@athica.org. Call (706) 208-1613 for information.
Original Nashville musical “Cod Roaster” comes to the Imperial Theatre Dec. 12. For ticket information, call the box office at 722-8341.
THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY
Christmas Schedule 2003 A.D.
PENANCE SERVICE Tuesday, December 16 7:00 PM CHRISTMAS EVE Wednesday, December 24 Solemn Vigil Mass 4:00 PM Family Vigil Mass with Children’s Pageant 6:30 PM Festival of Carols 11:15 PM Solemn Sung Midnight Mass 12:00 Midnight
CHRISTMAS DAY Thursday, December 25 Solemn Mass for Christmas Day 10:00 AM ONLY NEW YEAR’S DAY SCHEDULE Solemnity of Mary Mother of God, World Day of Prayer for Peace Vigil Mass Wednesday, December 31, 2003 4:00 PM Thursday, January 1, 2004 12:15 PM
CHURCH OF THE MOST HOLY TRINITY “Georgia's Oldest Catholic Church” is located at the corner of 8th and Telfair St. in historic Downtown Augusta
722-4944
May you rejoice in God’s love at Christmas and throughout the New Year. You and your loved ones will be remembered in the celebration of the Mass at Christmas. Father Allan J. McDonald • Father Michael Lubinsky Sister Bernadette Quinlan, MFIC Dr. Janet Hunt, FAGO • Mrs. Barbara O’Grady Mr. Bill Harper • And parish staff
www.themostholytrinity.org
You wouldn’t want the Grinch seating you, or Him cooking for your Xmas party would you? Don’t bother with the other Nasties an Grinches for Xmas! Sautéed Veal Medallions with Black Pepper Spaetzle, Roast Garlic Buttered Brussels and a Spiced Apple Sauté - 18 Grilled Atlantic Swordfish with a Low Country Shrimp and Grits - 18 Sautéed Monkfish with a Creamy Crab and Parmesan Risotto and a Smoked Tomato Velouté - 17 Warm Smoked Duck Breast with a Crisp Potato Tower, Bistro Style Cabbage and the Chef’s Organic Vidalia and Scuppernong Jam - 17 Grilled Club Tenderloin of Black Angus with Horseradish Whipped Potatoes, Grilled Asparagus and a Caramelized Red Onion Soubise - 21
437 Highland Ave, Surrey Center • 706.737.6699 Fax 706.733.8644 • Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner
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Go Out In Style The Christmas in Hopelands display starts this weekend at Hopelands in Aiken and is open Dec. 13-17, 19-23 and 25-27. Call (803) 642-7631.
CHILDREN’S HEALTHCARE OF ATLANTA CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL OF TREES at the Georgia World Congress Center, Exhibit Hall A-1, through Dec. 14. Admission is $10 adults, $5 children, ages 2-12, and senior citizens, ages 65 and up. Proceeds benefit the AFLAC Cancer Center and Blood Disorders Service of Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. (404) 785-NOEL. “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” will be presented through Dec. 28 on the Alliance Stage in Atlanta as part of the Alliance Theatre Company’s Family Series. For ticket information, visit www.alliancetheatre.org or call (404) 733-4600. “ATLANTA BALLET’S NUTCRACKER” will be performed by the Atlanta Ballet through Dec. 27 at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. For tickets, call (404) 817-8700. “FANTASY IN LIGHTS” holiday light show at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Ga., through Dec. 28. For ticket info, call 1-800-CALLAWAY.
Basic tuxedo rentals $85 includes shoes & cumberbund
G I F T C E RT I F I C AT E S F O R T H E H O L I DAY S
Barksdale’s MENS WEAR Fury’s Ferry Station 228-1661
HISTORIC COLUMBIA HOUSE MUSEUM GUIDED TOURS through Jan. 4. Guided holiday tours are available ever y hour on the hour 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and 1-4 p.m. Sunday. Admission is $5 per house for adults and $3 per house for children ages 6-17. Children under 6 and members of Historic Columbia admit ted free. Combination ticket for all four houses is $18 on Saturday and Sunday. (803) 252-1770, ex t. 24. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Enchanting Modern: Ilonka Karasz, 1896-1981” through Feb. 8; works by Armin Landeck, Dec. 13-Feb. 8. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info. “THE HOLLY AND THE IVY” holiday celebration at Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C., through Jan. 4. For information, call 1-800-922-0046 or (828) 225-1333 or visit www.biltmore.com. “EDWARD HOPPER AND URBAN REALISM” will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art in Columbia, S.C., through Jan. 18. (803) 799-2810. “A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18, 2004, at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Ar tist” through April 4; “Af ter Whistler: The Ar tist and His Influence on American Painting” through Feb. 8; and “Verrocchio’s David Restored: A Renaissance Bronze From the National Museum of the Bargello, Florence” through Feb. 8 Call (404) 733HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.
Benefits “MAKE A DIFFERENCE NIGHT” at the Augusta Lynx game Dec. 20, 7:35 p.m. Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will sell $10 fundraiser tickets to benefit Camp TBI for children who have suf fered traumatic head injuries. Also, toys will be collected at the game for the “Walton Rehabilitation Center Lynx to the Children Toy Drive.” Collected toys will be given to children spending the holidays in Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. For ticket information, contact Judie Thompson, 823-8691, or James W. Helm, 724-4423. UNCF CHRISTMAS BREAKFAST to benefit Paine College 8:30 a.m. Dec. 13 at the Radisson River front Hotel. For information, contact Benjamin Saxon, 868-4610. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetar y donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.
Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Italian, Ar t for Beginners, Debt-Free Living, Financial Strategies, Taming the Wild Child, paralegal cer tificate course and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: QuarkXPress, A Prosperous Retirement, Intermediate Investing, All Things Dutch, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: Microsof t Cer tified System Administrator courses, health care courses, defensive driving and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.
FREE CHOLESTEROL TESTING for men ages 55 and over and women ages 65 and over. For details, call 860-3001.
BEN AND KEETER’S HOLIDAY PUPPET SHOW 11 a.m. Dec. 13 at the Ma xwell Branch Library. Call 793-2020.
AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. 737-9300.
SPECIAL HOLIDAY STORYTIME WITH SANTA Dec. 11, 10-11 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275.
FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course. Call 823-8691.
“EDIBLE WORKS OF ART” COOKIE DECOR ATING CONTEST Dec. 13 at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Bring your decorated cookies from 10 a.m.-noon to compete for Most Festive, Most Original and Best Use of Ar tistic Style prizes. 722-5495.
CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294. STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets the last Wednesday of the month, 1-2 p.m., in the outpatient classroom at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5213. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL of fers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Theraputic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Ser vices Clinic, Special Needs Safet y Seat Loaner Program, Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer sur vivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information. THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Dec. 2 lecture is on “504 and Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, Part II.” Call 721-6838 for information. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.
Kids PARENTS’ DAY OUT Dec. 20, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Aiken County Recreation Center in Graniteville. Christmas craf ts, carols and gif t-making will keep kids busy so moms and dads get a chance to shop or wrap presents. (803) 663-6142. SMITH-HAZEL CHRISTMAS CAMP 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 22-31 (no camp Dec. 24-25) at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Open to children 4-11 years of age. Cost is $50 per child and non-resident fees apply. Call (803) 642-7635. FAMILY Y HOLIDAY CAMPS held 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 19, 22-24, 26, 29-30 and Jan. 2. Early drop-of f and late pick-up available. On Dec. 24 and 31, camp hours are from 9 a.m.-noon only. Call 738-6678. BREAKFAST WITH SANTA Dec. 20, 8:30 a.m., at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Af ter break fast, children will be able to make a holiday craf t to take home. Admission fee is $1 per child. (803) 642-7631. FORT DISCOVERY HOLIDAY CAMP Dec. 22-23 and 2930. For information, visit www.nationalsciencecenter.org. STORYTIME WITH SANTA IN WINTER WONDERLAND Dec. 20 at Headquar ters Library. Free break fast from 9:30 a.m.-10:30 a.m. requires registration by Dec. 13. Stories, craf ts and family por traits from 10:30-11:30 a.m. Call 821-2623. STORYTIME WITH MRS. CLAUS Dec. 16, 4 p.m., at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Children 8 and under accompanied by an adult will enjoy a holiday book, refreshments, and will even get to take a book home. Free. (803) 642-7631.
“SURFIN’ WITH SANTA” HOLIDAY DIVE-IN MOVIE Dec. 12, 7-8:45 p.m. in the heated indoor pool at the Family Y’s Wheeler Branch facilit y. Par ticipants enjoy a family classic movie while floating in the pool. Please bring swimsuits, floats and towels. Parents must accompany children 12 and under. Fees are $3-$7; children under 6 are free. 738-6678. “‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS” will be presented by the Augusta State University Born to Read Literacy Center and Patchwork Players Dec. 11. Shows are at the Ma xwell Per forming Ar ts Theatre at 9, 10 and 11 a.m. Tickets are $3 per person. Call 733-7043 for reservations. AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to children of all ages who par ticipate or are interested in equestrian spor ts. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399. FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month from 911 a.m. at MCG Children’s Medical Center. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat. 721-KIDS. “TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” FALL SESSION through MACH Academy will be held through Dec. 18 at May Park Community Center or Fleming Tennis Center. Program includes homework assistance, computer instruction, tennis and fitness instruction, field trips and more. Fee is $50 per month. For information, call 796-5046.
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Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002
FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.
Seniors MEDICATION MANAGEMENT LITERACY WORKSHOP 10:15-11 a.m. Dec. 16 at the Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. 826-4480. HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Arthritis Aquatics and People With Arthritis Can Exercise. Call 823-5294 for information. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For
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Christmas is Thursday, December 25
2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875 405 Shartom Drive, Augusta • 706-868-9318 www.ladybugsflowers.com
Augusta Business Center behind Applebee's on Washington Rd.
The little shop where customers say WOW! Who really cares about what’s in there? CLOUD NINE! Come check out our latest products!
Treat yourself to a visit. We’ll treat you to the “Cloud Nine Experience.” We want you to try our products and see for yourself how wonderful they are before you choose the ones that best suit your skin type.
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GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.
Bring Christmas to the table. Teleflora’s Holly Bowl Bouquet
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Health
FAMILY Y YOUTH BASKETBALL REGISTR ATION through Dec. 12 at Southside Branch. League is open to boys and girls in grades 1-9. Fees per child are $31 for Family Y members, $46 for bronze members and $55 for non-members. Contact Wayne Ivey for details, 738-6680.
Soaps - Lotions Natural Radiance Body Butter Lip Balms Body Yogurt Tooth Powders Salt Glow Accessories 1036 Broad Street (706) 724-6423 10am-6pm Mon-Sat
Presents the
Georgia Golf Hall of Fame
2004 Induction Banquet Saturday January 10, 2004 6:30 p.m. Radisson Riverfront Hotel Augusta, Georgia
s: ductee lp n I 4 0 20 O obbins m D t e n a J eenbau r G y r r Je Stulb Eileen Open Seating $90 Per Person, Special Offer: Reserved Tables of Ten $800 Payment Guarantees Reservation Business Attire
706-724-4443 For More Information and Directions Visit www.gghf.org or Contact Dianne@gghf.org
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information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of 32 more Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. M E T R O
THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre S and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.
P I SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and R access to computer technology. Many different courses are I offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at T
(803) 641-3563.
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Sports THE AUGUSTA FLASH FAST-PITCH TR AVEL TEAM is looking for players for the 2004 season. Players must be at least 15 years of age as of Jan. 1, 2004. For tryout information, contact Jef f Towe, 868-8485, or Vicki Parker, 854-7711. THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com. AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES Dec. 12-13, 19-20, 28 and 31. For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.
Volunteer VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR SALVATION ARMY CHRISTMAS DISTRIBUTION Dec. 17-19, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Volunteers will assist in distributing toys, coats, groceries and gifts. For more information, call 826-7933. AARP TAX-AIDE is looking for volunteers to dedicate four or more hours per week from Feb. 1-April 15 assisting senior taxpayers. Five-day free training course for Tax-Aide volunteers begins in January. For more information, contact William J. Kozel at 210-3048. THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare ta x returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly ta xpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ex t. 341. AUGUSTA/CSR A HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open ThursdaySaturday year round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637. MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide suppor t for MACH Academy at the May Park Communtiy Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held MondayThursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and MondayTuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046. FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED for children and teenagers in Richmond County. For information, contact Luera Lewis, 721-3718. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to
Holiday Concerts “BEHOLD THE STAR” concer t with Creative Impressions Dec. 20, 6:30 p.m., at the Bell Auditorium. Ticket price is $50 and includes dinner and per formance. Proceeds benefit the Creative Impressions 2004 scholarship awards program. Black tie at tire is requested. To order tickets, call 722-3521 or visit www.ticketmaster.com. “CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT” with First Baptist Church Sanctuar y Choir and Orchestra Dec. 14, 6:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church, 3500 Walton Way. Call 733-2236 for info. “A VIENNESE CHRISTMAS” with the New Sigmund Romberg Orchestra 3 and 8 p.m. Dec. 19 at the Newberry Opera House in Newberry, S.C. (803) 276-6264. CHRISTMAS CAROLING at University Hospital Dec. 12. Call 738-2580 for details. “CHOR AL MUSIC FOR ADVENT AND CHRISTMAS” with the Augusta Collegium Musicum 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. Program is free to museum members and $5 for non-members. Please call 722-8454 for reservations prior to Dec. 12. “MESSIAH AND MORE” with the Augusta Choral Society, Creative Impressions and members of the Augusta Symphony Dec. 18, 8 p.m., at Sacred Hear t Cultural Center. Tickets are $20 adults, $16 seniors and students and $5 children under 12. Call 826-4713.
“EILEEN IVERS CELTIC CHRISTMAS” 8 p.m. Dec. 20 at the Newberry Opera House in Newberry, S.C. Call (803) 276-6264 for details. CHRISTMAS CONCERT WITH SELAH 7 p.m. Dec. 18 at First Baptist Church in Nor th Augusta. Augusta Dance Theatre and Jill Phillips will also per form. Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door and $20 ar tist circle. Charge by phone at 1-800-965-9324 or buy on the Web at www.itickets.com. “MESSIAH” will be per formed by the USCAiken Masterworks Chorale Dec. 13, 8 p.m., at the Etherredge Center. Call (803) 641-3305 for ticket information. AUGUSTA CHOR ALE CHRISTMAS CONCERT Dec. 14, 4 p.m., at the Gilber t Lambuth Chapel. Admission is $15 for adults and $5 for children. For information, contact Jayme Smalley, 733-7809. PIANO RECITAL WITH MARINA LOMAZOV and choral Christmas program with the Augusta Collegium Musicum Dec. 12. Choral program begins at 7:15 p.m. and recital begins at 8 p.m. Held at the Ma xwell Center for the Per forming Ar ts. Tickets are $20 for adults and $5 for students. Children under 6 not admit ted. 737-1453. HOLLY DAYS CONCERT SERIES Dec. 14 and 21 in downtown Aiken. For more information, call (803) 649-2221.
GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.
Meetings BEGINNER LEVEL VIDEO-MAKER CLUB meets the third Thursday of each month, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Library. Contact Louise Coe, 592-6464. EAST AUGUSTA MIDDLE SCHOOL SCHOOL ADVISORY COUNCIL MEETING Dec. 16, 11 a.m., in the lecture room of the East Augusta Middle School Media Center. The public is invited to listen to the council discuss issues involving the school and parental involvement. Call Dr. Cur tis, 823-6960, ex t. 200, or e-mail Dean Morris, dean.morris@dsm.com. AMERICAN LEGION POST NO. 63 MEETING 7:15 p.m. Dec. 15. For information, call 733-9387. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of every month at different restaurants in the area. Open to those who are single and 21 years of age or older. For information and meeting location, call (803) 441-6741. TURNING POINT INVESTMENT CLUB MEETING AND HOLIDAY CELEBRATION 1:30-3 p.m. Dec. 11 at the Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. Call 8264480 for information.
Weekly
OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Nor th Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156. NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 4145576, or Lionel, 860-0302. GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. 1-800-313-0170 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.
one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109. UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to suppor t terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSR A is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Ser vices are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks,
including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGR AM VOLUNTEER TR AINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com.
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419. SEX AHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recover y from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unit y, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.
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Arts: Visual
Psychedelic Pet Paintings Pop With Personality
H
ere in the office, we’ve been calling him the “psychedelic dog artist.” But Robert Marinich also paints psychedelic cows. And pigs, and the occasional cat. His work is an odd mix of precision and play. The piece “Sugar,” for instance, is a mass of green and blue swirls — the dog included. But when one compares the painting with the actual photograph of the dog, there is no mistaking the blue-andgreen image for anyone else. The features, the expression, everything about the dog, except the color, is exact. The essence is there. Chances are, there’s a very good reason for that; chances are, it has to do with his professional background. “I spent the early part of my career doing intricate hearts and livers,” he said. Marinich explained that he studied at the Medical College of Georgia, where he got a masters in medicine for the purpose of working as a medical illustrator. His undergrad degrees were in art and science, and he is originally from upstate New York. “I illustrated two or three surgical textbooks, then I got into educating doctors and consumers using technology.” But he didn’t stay with art. Because his work led him toward promoting medical
“Burton”
services, his career evolved toward the business end and away from the artistic end. Specifically, projects like helping create a CD-Rom for the Mayo Clinic and helping them launch the American Health Network, projects that centered around software design and development. In fact, that’s what he does for a living now. He owns a small software company, which has its eye on a patent for a software package it has designed. “I found my career very quickly went away from pure artwork,” he said. Eventually, he added, he realized something wasn’t quite right. Even though he was well aware that he had a wonderful wife and kids, something was missing. “I realized I hadn’t painted in years.” Then, one day in 1997 or ’98, something strange and magical happened. (Yeah, yeah, bear with me here.) Marinich found a canvas under his bed. “To this day,” he said, “I don’t remember how I got the canvas, where it came from.” But he also had some paints and with those he proceeded to create … a cow. “It had a bright orange background. My wife came home and said, ‘What have you done? We can’t afford artwork!’” So then he had to explain that he hadn’t bought it — he’d made it. And it had felt good.
“Charlie”
By Rhonda Jones
“I just started painting more cows, more dogs. The walls in my house started getting populated with my paintings.” People who came to his house started reacting to them. They wanted to know where the paintings had come from, and when he told them they were his, they told him he should sell them. At first, he wouldn’t hear of it. He told them it was just a hobby, something he did for himself. But the compliments didn’t stop. People insisted that he do something with this art, for crying out loud. So he did. “I put them in galleries in Atlanta, where I live,” he said. “But I wanted to get back to Augusta.” As it happened, he had a dog painting to deliver to a client in Aiken, S.C., and agreed to meet her one afternoon on Artists’ Row in downtown Augusta. While waiting for her, he wandered into the Banker Dearing Gallery on Broad Street and soon had arranged a 10-painting exhibit there. “I guess I did that a month and a half ago,” he said. I asked him why he experienced such a dramatic change in style when he got back into painting. “I’ll tell you what I did. When I was
“Kylie”
doing my medical stuff, it was very intricate and tiny. We would paint with brushes with only a few hairs on it. When I got back into painting, I wanted to paint big.” And, he said, he wanted colors. So I asked him about his colors. The painting “Charlie” for instance, which is the first he ever sold, is a foreshortened dog with his nose stuck into the camera. The painting doesn’t even hint at what the dog’s actual color is — in the painting, his front legs are red, his chest and back legs blue and purple, his side and part of his muzzle green. And his face contains all of those colors. But it works. And Marinich doesn’t really know how that happens. “For me it’s a great creative experience. How do you figure out what colors you’re going to use? I have no idea. I just get lucky. I think that’s the best part of it. When I’m having a great time, when I’m having fun, I think it translates out into the painting.” Check out Robert Marinich’s work at the Banker Dearing Gallery on Broad Street for the rest of 2003. The exhibit is called “City Cows and Country Dogs.” For hours and other info, call (706) 8231060. For more info about the artist, visit his Web site at www.robertmarinich.com.
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36 M E T R O S P I R I T
Arts: Music
Christmas Adventures With Choral Groups
By Rhonda Jones
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I
n case you haven’t noticed, Christmas is in full swing. Along with all the giftbuying, sweets-baking, house-decorating and such, you may want to take in a few holiday performances as well. For many people, Christmas music is best sung by a choir, and Handel’s “Messiah” is the be-all, end-all of holiday favorites. This year, Augusta Choral Society is bringing you “Messiah and More.” But that doesn’t mean you’re going to be sitting through several hours of choral pieces. It means you’re going to hear “Messiah” highlights and then a smattering of other Christmas favorites. Augusta Choral Society’s executive director Carolyn Dolen spoke about it recently with Metro Spirit. “All of ‘The Messiah’ is about a three-hour work,” she said. “The part called ‘the Christmas portion’ is a much shorter version: It’s a little over an hour. “But we’re going to cut it down a little more this year and do familiar choruses that people expect to hear from ‘The Messiah,’ but we’re not going to have any soloists come.” The entire program, she said, will last about an hour and a half. We asked her what it is about choral music that makes it such a Christmas tradition for so many people. “It is,” she agreed, “and it’s something that even people who don’t consider themselves singers and don’t sing very much — you might catch them singing a Christmas carol or two during the Christmas carol (portion).” And for that reason, she said, the program is actually going to be participatory for anyone who is interested. The group will provide lyrics in the program for certain selections so that any audience member who wishes to can sing along. “We’ve done that a time or two in the past and that seemed to be very popular,” Dolen said. Asked if Augusta Choral Society tends to draw more people to Christmas shows than other shows, Dolen said yes. “This is a program that people tend to look forward to, and they’re calling well in advance asking when we’re going to do it. Oftentimes it’s a family affair.” She said that, just days before, someone called for tickets for the entire family because their college student was coming home and the parents wanted a family outing. “Kind of like other people going to ‘The Nutcracker’ — it’s just kind of a Christmas tradition that people look forward to.” For the past few years, she added, the program has been held on a Thursday night so that it wouldn’t compete with weekend social obligations like office parties and other gatherings.
Creative Impressions perform at the Bell Dec. 20.
The Augusta Choral Society, joined by members of the Augusta Symphony and Creative Impressions, will perform “Messiah and More” at 8 p.m. on Dec. 18 in the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. General admission tickets are $20, with seniors and students paying $16 and children under 12 paying $5. For info, call (706) 826-4713 or visit www.augustachoralsociety.org. A Little Something Extra And just who are Creative Impressions, you ask? They are the next generation of choral singers, ranging in age from 13 to 19, and hailing from Richmond, Columbia and Taliaferro Counties. The group also employs dance, step routines, drama, instrumental and vocal improvisations — you name it, they do it. As far as the concert with Augusta Choral
Society goes, Dolen said, they are going to sing five Christmas spirituals. This will be a new experience for both groups. “This will be the first time that we’ve combined with that group,” Dolen said. “We’re looking forward to this. We like to try to do things with other groups when we can.” In the past, she said, Augusta Choral Society has joined forces with Augusta Children’s Chorale and Augusta Symphony, as well as others. “The program is set up so that the Choral Society will sing some pieces and then Creative Impressions will come on the risers and sing their five songs. Then all will join forces and be there together to do some things collectively as well. “So it kind of gives each group a chance to shine by themselves and do their own thing, then let everybody perform some things
together.” Then, if you decide that you just have to see Creative Impressions again, you will get the chance two nights later, when they perform “Christmas at the Bell: Behold the Star.” The performance is a sample platter of holiday music from around the world, including African dance and modern ballet. And speaking of sample platters, there will be a holiday dinner in the package as well. Dinner is served at the Bell Auditorium on Saturday, Dec. 20, at 6:30 p.m., with the performance beginning at 8 p.m. Tickets are $50 and may be ordered by calling the Bell Auditorium Ticket Office at (706) 722-3521 or by visiting www.ticketmaster.com. Proceeds to support the Creative Impressions 2004 Scholarship Awards program. For info, call (706) 798-6090 or visit www.creativeimpressions2002.net.
Cinema
37
“The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”
M E T R O S P I R I T D E C
Movie Listings stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless — "Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks, and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick of f this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bad Santa (R) — For very jaded kids and adults already sick of the holiday season but needing a cup of bile nog. If that is you, there is amusing alienation from Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic thief and cranky depar tment store Santa, Tony Cox as his rancid "elf" and Bernie Mac, Cloris Leachman and the late John Rit ter, directed with zip plot but a jingle of crass flippancy by Terry "Crumb" Zwigof f. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Beyond Borders (R) — “Beyond Borders” follows the romance between a medical student who finds work in international disaster relief and a wealthy socialite. The two keep meeting in times of disaster and war but still manage to forge a bond. Cast: Angelina Jolie, Clive Owen, Teri Polo, Linus Roache, Noan Emmerich. Brother Bear (G) — Latest Disney animated of fering about a young man, Kenai, who is transformed by The Great Spirits into a bear. On a quest to gain back his human form, Kenai befriends a bear cub, Koda, and evades his human brother, who, not realizing Kenai has been turned into a bear, is on Kenai’s trail on a revenge mission.Cast: Jeremy Suarez, Joaquin Phoenix, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas.
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Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the goofy features repor ter on a TV station in Buf falo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but af ter blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rif t with his sweet, please-marry-me girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buf falo the Almighty (Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Par t I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Cabin Fever (R) — Paul (Rider Strong) hopes that while on a week-long getaway in the woods, he and Karen (Jordan Ladd) will grow closer. Going along for the ride is self-centered Jef f (Joey Kern), par ty girl Marcy (Cerina Vincent) and boozer-jock Ber t (James DeBello). The five arrive at a time a mysterious plague is sweeping the forest. When a hermit (Arie Verveen) stumbles to their cabin looking for help, the five kill him by accident. He lands face-first into the town reservoir, contaminating the water supply. Af ter Karen is struck with the flesh-eating virus, friends become enemies as the group struggles to survive. Cast: Rider Strong, Jordan Ladd, Joey Kern, Cerina Vincent and James DeBello. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. (McCormick) ★ The Cat in the Hat (PG) — This bulldozing movie has about as much to do with Dr. Seuss’ wit ty and impressively drawn kids' books as Adam Sandler has with Molière. It's a brash defilement of Geisel's most famous work, yet so compulsively cheery that people might try to ignore the obvious. Mike Myers plays the Cat in a big hat and costume of fake fur that stifles his amusing features. He's supposed to be the spirit of wild, impish fun, helping lif t the depressed scamp Conrad (pudgy, likable Spencer Breslin) and his control-freak sister, Sally (Dakota Fanning), a dwar fish
Columbia Pictures
“Something’s Gotta Give”
RATINGS
★★★★ — Excellent.
New Line Cinema
Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent,
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total woman who star ts of f each day by making a list. Director Bo Welch's technique is to just keep hurling (both senses of the word apply). His tireless approach is astoundingly tiresome. Cast: Mike Myers, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Spencer Breslin, Kelly Preston. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Elf (PG) — Years ago, a human boy was adopted by one of Santa’s elves af ter sneaking a ride back to the Nor th Pole in Santa’s bag of presents. Now, he’s fully grown, his height and clumsy nature impeding his duties in the workshop. He decides it’s time to travel to the human world and search for his family. Taking a job as a depar tment store Elf, he inspires humans to believe in Santa Claus. Cast: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, Bob Newhar t, Mary Steenburgen. The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Darrin, a junior adver tising exec with secrets. He's nearly broke and he lied on his résumé to get his job. Then the worst-case scenario happens: His deception is discovered af ter he helps to land a major account for the company. Then he learns that his Aunt Sally has passed away and he's expected to at tend her funeral as her last surviving relative. Darrin learns that he'll gain a huge inheritance if he whips the church choir into shape in time for a gospel contest. This is where "The Fighting Temptations" falls into the pit of stupidity. What saves the movie from being a total stinker is the music. As for Gooding, he seems to have confused charm and enthusiasm for acting. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps, Melba Moore, Angie Stone, The O'Jays, Montell Jordan and Rue McClanahan. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (McCormick) ★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. Good Boy! (PG) — Owen Baker, an only child and the brainy son of ninnies, wants a dog — the one he gets is a mut t who proves to be space traveler Canine 2942 from the "dog star " Sirius. Soon the pooch, renamed Hubble, is talking to Owen and the dogs he walks. They talk back (moving lips and sitcom zings in the voices of Mat t Broderick, Cheech Marin, Brit tany Murphy, Delta Burke, etc.). Owen learns that dogs rule, above all the Sirian leader, The Greater Dane. This is no "Babe," or "Best in Show" for the sub-12 set, but Liam Aiken is an appealingly talented kid actor, the photography is glossy, the body function jokes are tame, and messages about love, home and species bonding peg in neatly. Go fetch. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a
★★★— Worthy.
★★ — Mixed.
★ — Poor.
house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed ef for t to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hourand-a-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) ★★ Honey (PG-13) — is like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugar-loaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature. Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bar tends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center. Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a music-video dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance. Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplif t has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embit tered cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured af ter impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time and has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki. Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — The last film in director Peter
Jackson’s trilogy features the final confrontation between good and evil forces struggling for control of Middle Ear th. Cast: Elijah Wood, Sir Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Sala Baker, Cate Blanchet t, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Viggo Mor tensen, Liv Tyler. Love Actually (R) — opens and closes with people hugging and kissing at London's Heathrow Airpor t. In between, you might yearn to fly away. Top confet ti is the prime minister: Hugh Grant with his sweetly sly grace, but so impishly weightless he seems fit to lead a croquet match, not a nation. Meanwhile, Colin Fir th is recovering from his wife's infidelity by slowly cour ting a Por tuguese housekeeper (Lucia Moniz); sulky Alan Rickman fondles the idea of cheating on his dear, sane wife (Emma Thompson); Liam Neeson, recovering from his wife's death, encourages the puppy love of his kid (Tom Sangster). This giggle-fest is a spree of gag situations, maudlin moments and aggressive pop tunes. If you like Christmas goose stuf fed with sequins, don't forget the chutney Spam with a warm side of chips. Cast: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Colin Fir th, Laura Linney, Keira Knightley, Rowan Atkinson, Alan Rickman. Running time: 2 hrs.,
0— Not worthy.
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“Love Don’t Cost a Thing”
“Honey”
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continued from page 37 8 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2
Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) — “Love
Don’t Cost a Thing” is a remake of the 1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an at tempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (PG-13) — The best film yet about men
fighting at sea under sail. Two of Patrick O'Brian's books have been beautifully transposed into a cogent and moving tale of the Napoleonic Wars. Capt. Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and his friend Dr. Maturin (Paul Bet tany) bond tightly despite amusing frictions and lead through storm and shot a stout crew against a French ship larger and bet ter built. It all fits and works like good seamanship under Peter Weir's direction, manly without fakery. Running time: 2 hr., 19 min. (Elliot t) ★★★★ The Matrix: Revolutions (R) — So much expectation, so much budget and now ... this? Yep, a grinding bore with more solemn neo-religious talk about savior Neo (Keanu Reeves), contending worlds (equally ugly) and video game (oops, action) payof fs that cost hugely, but of fer trite satisfaction (hordes of metallic bugs, a leaping fist fight in the rain). Nobody really acts, though Mary Alice is cute as a cookie-baking oracle. Hugo Weaving as the evil, grinning Agent Smith still seems like an FBI man hysterical about losing J. Edgar Hoover. It's a banal epic, for diehard fans only. Running time: 2 hrs., 9 mins. (Elliot t) ★ The Missing (R) — Cate Blanchet t is again superb, as a flinty frontier mom who rides hard across 1870s New Mexico, chasing a mostly Apache band that took her daughter, slowly making up with her long absent and "gone Injun" father (Tommy Lee Jones). Ron Howard directed with a true eye for detail and landscape, Eric Schweig is an alarmingly vicious sorcerer, the brutality is frequent and not for tender viewers. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) — Rober t Rodriguez is into roots rapture and giddy, boyish con-
fusion. His movie goes nowhere. Should we emphasize Antonio Banderas as the thick guitar Zorro called El Mariachi? No point in dwelling on doomed love Carolina (Salma Hayek), as she is barely around. Surely the key interest is not FBI agent Jorge (Ruben Blades). And what of CIA man Sands (Johnny Depp)? Af ter his eyes are drilled out, Depp looks like Michael Jackson as a Day of the Dead float, and he gets a street vendor kid to act as his gun eyes. Might as well focus on Willem Dafoe as drug hood Barillo, wearing such great Mexican makeup you can't decipher why he wants his face removed. Cheech Marin depar ts af ter the first scene, taking with him all hope for a genuine comedy. Cast: Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Johnny Depp, Ruben Blades, Eva Mendes, Willem Dafoe, Mickey Rourke, Danny Trejo. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Out of Time (PG-13) — John Billingsley stars as Chae, a drunken wiseguy and pathologist trades corkers with Police Chief Mat t Whitlock (Denzel Washington), who sloshes through his latest case. The chief is suddenly the big suspect in a double murder caused by arson, af ter his incriminating, illicit af fair with past girlfriend Anne (Sanaa Lathan). Whitlock hustles through a hot day covering up the clues that point to him, while the main detective sleuthing his trail is his vampy, almost ex-wife, Alex (Eva Mendes). Dynamic, but obsessively remote from reality, "Out of Time" is like a drive-in movie for a car junkyard. Cast: Denzel Washington, Sanaa Lathan, Dean Cain, Eva Mendes. Running time: 1 hr., 54 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a
shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geof frey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely
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unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geof frey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Radio (PG) — Ed Harris is Harold Jones, the coach of the high school football team in a small South Carolina town. Coach Jones takes pity on James (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a mentally handicapped young man who mutely pushes his shopping car t past the practice field every day, and makes him a kind of team, then school, mascot. Nicknamed Radio, he melts the hear t of almost everyone he encounters. A few antagonists enter and exit periodically. The schmaltz-intolerant would be wise simply to Fed-Ex seven bucks and a vial of tears directly to Columbia Pictures. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr. Ed Harris, Brent Sex ton, Riley Smith. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 The Rundown (PG-13) — The Rock stars as Beck, a sor t of bounty hunter. He goes to South America to bag the fugitive son of an L.A. thug. The grown kid is Travis (Seann William Scot t). Travis is the wiseof f in an Amazonian town, a hellhole, slave pit and diamond mine ruled by Hatcher (Christopher Walken). Rosario Dawson, her flesh like a sweat mirage, is Mariana, "barmaid by day, rebel leader by night." Sor t of an Indiana Jones jungle par ty for wrestling fans, "The Rundown" does have the Rock, who radiates benign composure — pure nice guy until pushed too far. Briefly we hear the late Johnny Cash: "Don't take your gun to town." Of course, every gun does come to town. Cast: The Rock, Seann William Scot t, Rosario Dawson, Christopher Walken. Running time: 1 hr., 36 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) — A New York music executive who generally dates young women has a hear t at tack while staying at the East Hampton beach home of his latest girlfriend’s mother, Erica. Since his girlfriend has already lef t for the city, he’s lef t in the care of Erica and a young doctor, with the two men finding themselves in competition for
Erica’s af fection. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Amanda Peet, Jon Favreau, Frances McDormand, Paul Michael Glaser. Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) — Now the boyish Juni Cor tez (Daryl Sabara) is a private investigator, the rest of his family away spying, and Juni is pulled into the evil video game empire of the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). He must rise through levels, liberate sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) and prove himself as The Guy. Mostly he must sur f through gaudy storms of computerized ef fects, of ten in 3-D (yes, you wear glasses). There are robots and blue-tongued monsters and frantic chases. For a while, leathery grandpa Ricardo Montalban is liberated by animation from a wheelchair to clank around in a huge metal suit. Montalban is always a kick, but the movie is about as Hispanic as a pinata made in Taiwan. Cast: Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Sylvester Stallone, Ricardo Montalban, Salma Hayek. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Stuck on You (PG-13) — Comedy about a pair of conjoined twins sharing nine inches of skin and a liver, who have always used their conjoined status to their advantage. When one twin decides to go to Hollywood and become a television star, the other one has no choice but to follow. They land a role on a sitcom starring Cher, which leads to instant fame but may also drive the two apar t. Cast: Mat t Damon, Greg Kinnear, Cher, Eva Mendes, Meryl Streep. Timeline (PG-13) — Using actual smoke and mirrors (yes, believe it), time-trippers go through a "wormhole" to turbulent France, 1357. Big men, big swords, catapults firing flaming balls, a princess falling for a modern hunk, David Thewlis wearing an American accent like armor, Billy Connolly being Scot tish, Paul Walker looking ready to head home for sur fing, Richard Donner hacking away as director: fun for boys and aging fans of 1950s MGM. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.
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Cinema: Review
Punchlines Fall Flat in “Stuck on You” By Rachel Deahl
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nown for outrageous slapstick comedies like “There’s Something About Mary” and “Dumb and Dumber,” the Farrelly Brothers have always displayed love of hokey Americana within their yarns about wellmeaning idiots who seems to find themselves in the most unusual and hilarious situations. Their latest, “Stuck on You,” an ode to the bonds of brotherhood that stars Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as conjoined twins, highlights this solemn side of the Brothers and it winds up trying to tug at your heart strings more than strike your funny bone. The one running joke in “Stuck on You” fades relatively quickly, and rarely even takes off. Bob (Damon) and Walt (Kinnear) Tanner live a quiet life together on Martha’s Vineyard running a burger joint. Bob is an accomplished athlete who’s not so smooth with the ladies, while Walt is a regular Romeo who displays his acting chops at the local theater. Good-looking, congenial, upbeat guys, Bob and Walt lead a pretty regular life, except for the fact that they share a liver and are literally stuck together. A formidable force on the hockey team (they play goalie), beloved local chefs (the gimmick at their greasy spoon is that they can fulfill any order in less than a minute), Bob and Walt seem to get by pretty well for two guys in their situation. But, when
Walt admits that his dream is to make it in Hollywood as a “real” actor, Bob agrees to make the trip with him and the two head for Los Angeles. Once in Tinseltown, Walt inadvertently lands a role on a low-grade TV series after a chance encounter with Cher (playing herself), while Bob finally meets the woman he’s been romancing via the Internet for the past three years. As Walt becomes a cult celebrity and Bob struggles to hide the secret of his physical oddity from his new love, the two brothers confront the fact that their lives are taking them in different directions, even if their body won’t allow it. Aside from a surprisingly funny turn from Cher — who has some of the best material in the film as an angry diva with a dying career who hires Walt in an attempt to sabotage the TV show she’s been contracted to star in, “Honey and the Beaze” — and Seymour Cassel, who has a small role as Walt’s crooked, geriatric agent, the jokes about the difficulties of living two lives in essentially one body really aren’t the highlight here. In shots of the brothers doing everything from playing football, taking a shower to having sex (Walt gets lucky early on in the film), the punchlines fall flat. And, without a barrage of funny scenarios, “Stuck on You” becomes a predictable tale about the ties that, er, bind.
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A SOLO PIANO CONCERT West Acres Baptist Church Thursday, January 29th, 2004 at 7:30PM 555 Gibbs Rd., Evans, GA 30809
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Cinema: Review
It’s Arrows vs. Bullets in “The Last Samurai” By David Elliott
I
f you had told John Ford in 1943 that, in 60 years, a lavish American movie would exalt the Japanese warrior class and toss aspersions at the U.S. military, the great director would have hurled you from his office in a fit of Irish temper. But odds are, Ford would actually like “The Last Samurai.” He would like the ceremonial and manly romanticism of this movie from director Edward Zwick and the solid craft of its construction. He would savor the stoical bravura of Ken Watanabe, as the last samurai warlord in a Japan modernizing in the 1870s. And he would probably enjoy Tom Cruise who, like John Wayne, is a better camera subject than actor (though Wayne was better at both). Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embittered (by a massacre of Indians) cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Soul pain is not a major Cruise specialty, but he is now 41 and not so boyish and here restrains his killer smile; he achieves the troubled dignity of a disillusioned warrior needing a cause. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured after impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the “barbarian” has a tiger within. Both men have a serious streak of the quixotic and even suicidal (and it’s the kind of movie where Real Men can absorb bullets or major sword cuts but keep on fighting). The movie has breadth and beauty, and a Japanese zeal for quality in details. You’ve got to respect the dignity of an action film in which the killings really matter, and in which the sexy scene involves Algren being dressed by the elegant widow (acted by one-named
Koyuki) of a man he had killed. The samurai redoubt, full of old skills and virtues, is a sort of Zen Brigadoon, almost absurdly pretty. In the Ford spirit, the movie is nostalgic and reactionary. It says that Japan had to change but might have been better off as a sort of theme park of feudal purity, even though few leaders are ever so pure as Katsumoto and (as Kurosawa showed us long ago) many samurai were hired thugs. But because Algren is awed and transformed, enlisting in the gallant Last Stand, we are pulled into his dream. It’s rare to see a film about arrows vs. bullets, and in the best scene, a frantic escape at night, the archers gain the upper hand. Zwick is no Ford or Kurosawa, but he is able to stage action with these contrasting forces. He likes it so much that he repeats an ambush scene in slow motion. “The Last Samurai” bides its time, has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Not much is truly fresh but not much is very stale, and there are good extras: amusingly macho kids; Timothy Spall as a jolly English photographer, loosely based on Felix Beato; the scene when Algren is given a great sword, which unintentionally echoes the impish reverence of the sword gift to Uma Thurman in Tarantino’s “Kill Bill.” Of course, there is a topping slaughter, staged with all the ritual display of a rich boy’s game with gorgeous tin soldiers, if not with Tarantino’s violent verve. It has what may be the most chilling film testimony to the brutal power of machine guns since “Paths of Glory.” By then, Algren and Katsumoto are in the exalted realm of blood brothers forever, and death has lost its sting. There is a kicker. The young emperor is moved to re-assert the old Bushido code. In fact, there was a young emperor with a gentle manner who loved the Bushido tradition, and, as a result, his loyal warriors went on a cruel rampage from 1935 to 1945. Nostalgia, anyone?
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Bad Santa (R) Fri: 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; SatSun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; Mon-Tues: 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 The Missing (R) Fri: 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 9:30; Mon-Tues: 9:30 Love Actually (R) Fri: 3:40, 6:55, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:40, 6:55, 9:35; Mon-Tues: 3:55, 6:55, 9:35 Gothika (R) 7:50, 9:55 The Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri: 3:00, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 12:50, 3:00, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15; Mon-Tues: 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Master and Commander (PG-13) Fri: 3:50, 6:40, 9:20; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 3:50, 6:40, 9:20; Mon-Tues: 3:55, 6:40, 9:20 Elf (PG) Fri: 2:50, 5:00, 7:35, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:35, 9:45; Mon-Tues: 5:00, 7:35, 9:45 Brother Bear (G) Fri: 3:15, 5:20; Sat-Sun: 12:45, 3:15, 5:20; Mon-Tues: 5:20 Radio (PG) 4:10, 7:00
REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 12/12 - 12/18 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Tues: 12:01 a.m.; Wed-Thur: 10:50, 11:20, 3:10, 3:40, 7:30, 8:00 Stuck on You (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 1:10, 3:35, 4:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 10:00, 12:15, 12:45; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 1:10, 3:35, 4:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:30, 10:00 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 12:40, 1:40, 3:45, 4:45, 6:55, 7:40, 9:50, 10:45 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 12:35, 2:35, 4:10, 5:10, 7:10, 7:55, 9:40, 10:15, 12:10; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 12:35, 2:35, 4:10, 5:10, 7:10, 7:55, 9:40, 10:15 The Last Samurai (R) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 1:00, 3:30, 4:30, 7:00, 8:05, 10:30, 11:25; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 1:00, 3:30, 4:30, 7:00, 8:05, 10:30 Honey (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 12:50, 2:35, 3:05, 4:55, 5:25, 7:30, 8:10, 9:55, 10:25, 12:05, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 12:50, 2:35, 3:05, 4:55, 5:25, 7:30, 8:10, 9:55, 10:25 Timeline (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:05, 3:40, 6:55, 9:35, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 1:05, 3:40, 6:55, 9:35 The Missing (R) 1:20, 4:25, 7:25, 10:40 Haunted Mansion (PG) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 9:25, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 9:25 Bad Santa (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:05, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:05 Gothika (R) 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 8:15, 10:35 The Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:20, 4:30, 7:05, 9:20, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:20, 4:30, 7:05, 9:20 Love Actually (R) 1:15, 4:15, 7:35, 10:20 Master and Commander (PG-13) 12:25, 3:55, 7:15, 10:25 Matrix Revolutions (R) Fri-Sat: 6:45, 9:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 6:45, 9:45 Elf (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:30, 2:55, 5:15, 7:50, 10:10, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:30, 2:55, 5:15, 7:50, 10:10 Brother Bear (G) 11:50, 2:05, 4:35
MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/12 - 12/16 Stuck on You (PG-13) Fri: 4:45, 7:30, 9:50; SatSun: 1:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Tues: 4:45, 7:30 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 7:00, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:40; Mon-Tues: 4:15, 7:00 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri: 4:30, 7:45, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 2:00, 4:30, 7:45, 10:00; Mon-Tues: 4:30, 7:45 The Last Samurai (R) Fri: 5:00, 8:00; Sat-Sun: 1:50, 5:00, 8:00; Mon-Tues: 5:00, 8:00 Honey (PG-13) Fri: 5:15, 7:50, 9:55; Sat-Sun: 2:45, 5:15, 7:50, 9:55; Mon-Tues: 5:15, 7:50 The Haunted Mansion (PG) Fri: 5:20, 7:40, 9:45; Sat-Sun: 3:15, 5:20, 7:40, 9:55; MonTues: 5:20, 7:40 The Cat in the Hat (PG) Fri: 5:10, 7:35, 9:35; Sat-Sun: 3:00, 5:10, 7:35, 9:35; Mon-Tues: 5:10, 7:35
EVANS 14 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/12 - 12/16 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Tues: Midnight Stuck on You (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:15, 4:45, 7:25, 9:50; Mon-Tues: 4:45, 7:25, 9:50 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) Fri: 4:30, 7:10, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:30, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40; MonTues: 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 7:40, 10:05; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 4:00, 7:40, 10:05; Mon-Tues: 4:00, 7:40, 10:05 The Last Samurai (R) Fri: 2:00, 4:15, 5:30, 7:45, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 2:00, 4:15, 5:30, 7:45, 9:15; Mon-Tues: 4:15, 5:30, 7:45, 9:15 Honey (PG-13) Fri: 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; SatSun: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Mon-Tues: 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 The Haunted Mansion (PG) Fri: 3:30, 5:45, 7:55, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 7:55, 10:00; Mon-Tues: 5:45, 7:55, 10:00
REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/12 - 12/18 Spy Kids 3-D (PG) 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:10 Out of Time (PG-13) 2:15, 4:30, 7:15, 9:20 Once Upon a Time in Mexico (R) 2:20, 4:35, 7:20, 9:25 Good Boy! (PG) 2:45, 5:05, 7:40, 9:50 Freak y Friday (PG) 2:40, 5:00, 7:35, 9:45 The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:35 Beyond Borders (R) 1:55, 4:25, 7:00, 9:30 The Rundown (PG-13) 2:10, 4:20, 7:05, 9:15 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 2:00, 4:55, 7:45 Cabin Fever (R) 2:35, 4:45, 7:30, 9:40 Bad Boys 2 (R) 1:55, 4:50, 7:45 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 2:25, 4:40, 7:25, 9:35
Movie listings are subject to change without notice.
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43
Music
M E T R O S P I R I T
Fans of All Ages Can Enjoy Band Battle
D E C 1 1
By Lisa Jordan
2 0 0 3
W
hat could be better than nine local bands duking it out for not one, but two prizes? One answer might be to open up such a battle of the bands to fans of all ages. Josh Newman, a local musician and independent concert promoter, is doing just that with an all-ages battle of the bands he’s pulled together for Dec. 19-20 at the Hangnail Gallery. “One of the main reasons why I’m doing what I’m doing is because these kids need a place to see shows, a safe place to hang out,” he says. For music lovers who are not yet 21, it’s the perfect opportunity to sample the musical offerings of some local bands all in a night or two. For those patrons over 21 who often get the chance to hear live local music, it’s a chance to come out and support your favorite bands — in a very tangible way. “This year, there’s two categories,” says Newman. “I also have a fan favorite category. Each person that pays to get in can vote for their favorite band … This is the show for the fans, and the fans control everything. They control how much the bands can win. This show is all about the fans and trying to get the fans’ opinion on all the bands.” In addition to the fan favorite category, bands can also win in the judges’ pick category. Four local musicians will award up to 50 points for things like musical talent, originality, stage performance, crowd response and how long it takes each band to set up and break down. “The way it works is, all the bands, we’re going to have a pre-show meeting, and we’ll draw numbers out of a hat and whatever number you pick, you get to choose which timeslot you have,” Newman says. Even though the order that the bands are taking the stage is yet to be determined, the bands that are playing each night are already set. So, if you want to see Cycle, Thicker Than Blood, The Sixth Hour, Turtleneck and Gearbox, make sure you’re at the Hangnail Gallery on Friday night. And if Estrela, Diary of December,
Turtleneck
The Sixth Hour
Siclid Siclid and Back-Up Plan are more your style, go on Saturday. Or you could just go both nights for the full battle of the bands effect. Also, out of town band The Residence will play on Saturday night, but will not be participating in the battle. “It’s a very diverse show as far as bands go,” says Newman. “A lot of it’s heavy, but it’s all different styles, really. There’s a punk rock band playing, there’s pro-
gressive music, stuff like that playing, radio-type music.” This is the third year for Newman’s battle of the bands, a tradition he started to help counter the death of the all-ages music scene in Augusta. “I pulled everything together myself. I know all the bands, so it wasn’t that difficult. This is actually my third year in a row doing this. The first year, we had
about 125 kids each night and then last year we had around 100 both nights,” he says. “Both of those shows had no radio advertising whatsoever. It was all flyers and the Internet.” The all-ages battle of the bands will be at the Hangnail Gallery Dec. 19-20. Admission is $5 each night at the door. For more information, visit www.headabovewater.cjb.net.
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44
Sunday Night
M E T R O
ENTROPY From Athens, GA
S P I R I T
Funky Groove
D E C
MUSIC BY TURNER
D
1 1 2 0 0 3
Monday Open Mic 8-10
Music at 10 pm 21 & Up after 10 pm $2 HAPPY HOUR Mon-Fri 4:30-7:00 Sat & Sun 3:00-7:00 LIVE MUSIC EVERY SUNDAY!
Corner of 12th & Broad :::: Downtown Augusta :::: 828-5578
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eath and the music biz. Sure, when almost anyone popular in the entertainment industry passes away, sales increase as the pot of curiosity is stirred. BUDDY HOLLY, TUPAC, JIM CROCE and even OTIS REDDING all reached their commercial peaks long after the final hymn had been sung. As previously written in these pages, death can be great for business but, unfortunately, you can only do it once. Unlike the early days of pop, rock, jazz and soul, most musicians in the last three decades or so have entertainment lawyers. Of course, one of their duties is to insure that their clients’ demise won’t mean an end to the royalties for the heirs of the musician’s estate. Forbes magazine recently published a top 10 list of deceased musicians and their 2003 estimated earnings and, this year, there are a few surprises. As usual, ELVIS led the pack with $40 million, followed by JOHN LENNON and GEORGE HARRISON with $19 and $16 million respectively. BOB MARLEY and Tupac also placed in the top 10. Come Out and Play Dept. THE OFFSPRING release their seventh album, “Splinter,” this week. The band, celebrating their 18th year, worked with BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN’s latest producer BRENDAN O’BRIEN on the disc. The Offspring experiment with new sounds but can still punk it out with the best of them, as evidenced by their current single “Hit That.” A few extras are included on the disc including new videos and other surprises.
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Longtime fans of ELVIS COSTELLO aren’t surprised at all over the recent Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame member’s latest offering, “North.” It’s a sultry, ballad-filled affair that reminds one immediately of DIANA KRALL — who these days is Costello’s wife. A short U.S. tour set for this winter is being mapped, with the closest gig to Georgia being Feb. 24 at the historic Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. The world-famous BRODSKY QUARTET will accompany Costello at the show. I wonder what ERNEST TUBB would have thought of that?
One has to really admire that PAUL SIMON and ART GARFUNKEL have engaged the services of DON and PHIL EVERLY as the opening act on their current reunion tour. S&G have long admired the Everlys, whose sweet, twopart harmonies were also the template for John Lennon and PAUL MCCARTNEY’s dual vocal stylings. The Everlys’ hit “Bye, Bye Love” was one of the very few songs that Simon and Garfunkel recorded (from the “Bridge Over Troubled Water” album) that was not penned by Simon. They’ll bring their tour to Philips Arena in Atlanta Dec. 20. Turner’s Quick Notes Jazz great SONNY ROLLINS was named the number one tenor sax player this year by “Down Beat” magazine readers. Rollins will visit Atlanta in early April ‘04 … Guitarist TINSLEY ELLIS performed long, soulful sets last weekend at the Blind Pig in downtown Augusta … A new ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND DVD, “Live at the Beacon,” is out … INDIGO GIRLS return in February with “All That We Let In,” with JOAN OSBOURNE guesting … Tickets for the “12 Bands of Christmas” Dec. 21 benefit concert for MCG are going fast. Pick up the accompanying CD today and be there in fabulous downtown Augusta. Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. Kool and the Gang, Al Green, The Statler Brothers and Urge Overkill contributed to this movie’s soundtrack. Q. What is “Pulp Fiction”?
DECEMBER 12TH
The Offspring
BY
ED TURNER
Cocktail Hour Nightly
metro
45
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STARTING THANKSGIVING NITE!
sat 13 $5 BACARDI RUMTINI NIGHT
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Bluegrass in Broad Daylight w/ Eryn Eubanks & The Fold
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THURSDAY DECEMBER 11TH 8 pm SHOWTIME
Chicken Wings during game courtesy of in Daniel Village
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M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 1 1 2 0 0 3
46 M E T R O
MUSIC MINIS
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF FUN! THURS 12/11 Red Hit
S P I R I T
FRI & SAT 12/12 & 13 Playback featuring TuTu D’Vyne
D E C
TUES 12/16 Jam Session with Pat Blanchard & Friends
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WED 12/17 Pat Blanchard Band
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y T e a vern r r u S 471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221
When Historical Figures Attack Rosa Parks – the woman who made her stand for civil rights in 1955 when she refused to give up her seat to a white man and move to the back of a public bus, the woman who became the catalyst for the end of segregation on public transportation – has been told by the U.S. Supreme Court that she may proceed with her plans to sue rap group OutKast. The fight is over their hit song bearing her name which appears on the 1998 album “Aquemini.” Ms. Parks is 90 years old. Ozzy Breaks Neck Keep your fingers crossed for the Madman. He’s been through an ATV crash in which he broke a vertebra in his neck, his collarbone and eight ribs. Though his injuries are not life-threatening, according to reports, he did have to have emergency surgery to get that collarbone off a major artery that shuttles blood to his arm, and to deal with some bleeding into his lungs. (Good to know that hemorrhaging lungs aren’t life-threatening.) Wife Sharon speculated for the press that he “hit something and he fell and the bike landed
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on top of him.” Yikes. Doctors are saying that it will take a while for Oz’s injuries to heal, but that there should be no lasting damage. At the time of this writing, he was in ICU and doctors were planning to keep him on a ventilator for one more day, but he should be off by the time you read this. But it gets better. Osbourne had just issued a statement to the Los Angeles Times that he had been prescribed too many anti-psychotic drugs and tranquilizers and his resulting 42-pill-a-day habit was responsible for cursing and other odd behavior on MTV. Now, does he not realize that there have been television cameras in his home for the past year and a half? Did Eminem Threaten GW? No, but the Secret Service briefly considered investigating the rapper after learning about a song circulating on the internet that uses the lines “…I don’t rap for dead presidents/I’d rather see the president dead.” A Secret Service spokesman said the organization is concerned about the possible unintended impact of the song, but has no plans to launch an investigation.
COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources.
Soul Bar Productions Presents:
The 12 Bands of Christmas Concert benefiting the MCG Children’s Medical Center
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2003 at the Imperial Theatre Doors @ 5pm, Music @ 6pm
Tickets available now at the Imperial Theatre box office or online at www.imperialtheatre.com
The 12 Bands of Christmas CD compilation NOW AVAILABLE! Please visit www.12bandsofchristmas.com for vendor locations.
featuring
LIVINGROOM LEGENDS JOE STEVENSON DAZE OF HAZE TARA SCHEYER AND THE HALF-SHIRT LEROYS JEMANI HELLBLINKI SEXTET IMPULSE RIDE PATRICK BLANCHARD LIVES OF REILY SHAUN PIAZZA TURTLENECK DEATHSTAR
coverage you can count on
www.12bandsofchristmas.com
www.soulbar.com
www.bordertownmusic.net
2003
47
Night Life
M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 1 1 2 0 0 3
Left: Red Hit comes to the Surrey Tavern Dec. 11. Right: The Lady Chablis performs at Club Argos Dec. 12.
Thursday, 11th Adams Lounge - Keith “Fossill” Gregory The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This! Blind Pig - Broad Street Jams with Pat Blanchard and Friends Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par ty with DJ Daddy Bear Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - 212 D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Dead Poetic, Calico System, Alber t React, Estrela The Helm - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Karaoke Night with Tim Ba xlet Joe’s Underground - Clif f Bennet Last Call - Jell-O Wrestling, DJ Rana Locals - Preston and Weston Metro Coffeehouse - Per formers from Cod Roaster Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - The Comedy Zone Playground - Open Mic The Pourhouse - Karaoke with The Pourhouse Friends Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Serendipity Cafe - Lakeside Fall Poetry Review, David Owen Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Soul Bar - The Wheels Stillwater Tap Room - Sibin
Surrey Tavern - Red Hit Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog
Friday, 12th Adams Lounge - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Projections and Selections with DJ Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Club Argos - The Lady Chablis Coliseum - Brazia’s Bir thday Bash Cotton Patch - Sabo and the Scorchers Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Pit Boss, Nobody’s Fault D. Timm’s - The Section Eagle’s Nest - Christmas Par ty Finish Line Cafe - DJ Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Spoken Word, Open Mic, Dance Par ty with DJ Dick Joe’s Underground - John Last Call - Christmas with Elvis Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Ted For tenberry CD Release Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Kari Gaf fney, Jef f Williams The Pourhouse - Karaoke with The Pourhouse Friends Red Lion - Molly Hatchet, Pit Boss Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - ‘80s Night: Louder Than Bombs
Stillwater Tap Room - King Wilkie Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog
Saturday, 13th Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with Moniker Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Cafe Du Teau - James McIntyre Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Drew’s Bir thday Par ty with Lauren Alexander and Co. Coliseum - Petite DeJonville Cotton Patch - Live Enter tainment Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Toys for Tots Benefit with The Six th Hour, Kill Radius D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Midnight Creeps, No Regard, Siclid, Bloody Sunday, Thumbs Up, In Due Time, Three the Hard Way Jeremy’s Nightclub - Open Mic Joe’s Underground - Sabo and the Scorchers Last Call - DJ Richie Rich, DJ Rana Locals - Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Ted For tenberry Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars The Pourhouse - The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass
Red Lion - The Big Mighty Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Ron Young Tribute to Elvis Soul Bar - Soul on Ice, DJ Stillwater Tap Room - County Farm Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog
Sunday, 14th Adams Lounge - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Mellow Mushroom - Entropy Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Serendipity Cafe - Anna Grace Car ter The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s - Roulet te Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck T.G.I. Friday’s - Pat Blanchard Wheeler Tavern - Karaoke with DJ Dog
Monday, 15th Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Michael Baideme Mellow Mushroom - Open Mic Michael’s - Mike Swif t
continued on page 48
48
D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Evergreen Terrace, Embrace Today, Scarlet, Mor tal Treason The Helm - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Last Call - Karaoke with DJ Rana Michael’s - Mike Swif t Playground - Karaoke The Pourhouse - Mic Fright Therapy Night with Edmond “The Lurch” Kida Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rusty Shannon’s - Christmas Par ty with Bar t Bell, Allen Black Somewhere in Augusta - Brandon Bower Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard Band
M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 1 1 2 0 0 3
Upcoming
Catch Sibin at Stillwater Tap Room Dec. 11 or at Metro Coffeehouse Dec. 16. continued from page 47
Tuesday, 16th
Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session with Pat Blanchard and Friends
The Bee’s Knees - 12*Tone Lounge Blind Pig - The Richie Brothers Blues Band Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t
Wednesday, 17th The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig - The Backus Brothers with Candice Hurst Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band
The Soundmen - Surrey Tavern - Dec. 18 Park Bench Blues Trio - Soul Bar - Dec. 18 Acoustic Christmas Toys for Tots Benefit with Josh Kelley, Lillix - Imperial Theatre Dec. 19 Jingle Bell Rock - Crossroads - Dec. 19 Argos Christmas Par t y - Club Argos - Dec. 19 Bat tle of the Bands - Hangnail Galler y - Dec. 19-20 Malcolm Holcombe - Stillwater Tap Room Dec. 20 The 12 Bands of Christmas Benefit - Imperial Theatre - Dec. 21 The Goodies - Soul Bar - Dec. 27 Newsong’s All-New Winter Jam - AugustaRichmond Count y Civic Center - Jan. 8 Willie Nelson - Augusta-Richmond Count y Civic Center - Feb. 28
Elsewhere Mannheim Steamroller - The Arena at
Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Dec. 13 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 13 That ‘80s Band - Rox y Theatre, Atlanta Dec. 13 Jennifer Daniels - Eddie’s At tic, Atlanta Dec. 19 Barenaked Ladies - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Dec. 20 Simon and Gar funkel - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Dec. 20 Jim Brick man - Macon Ci t y Audi torium, Macon, Ga. - Dec. 23 Derek Trucks Band - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 26 Sister Ha zel - Rox y Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 26 Dave Mat thews Cover Band - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 27 Trans-Siberian Orchestra - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Dec. 28 Winter fest - Liber t y Universi t y, Lynchburg, Va. - Dec. 30-Jan. 1 Drive-By Truckers - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 31 Gomez - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 24 moe. - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 31 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at w w w.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Pla za. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.
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Weird T
he man convicted of blowing up the Pan Am flight over Lockerbie, Scotland, in 1988, killing 270 people, lives in relative luxury in a private four-room suite in Glasgow’s Barlinnie prison, according to a November report in Britain’s News of the World. Abdelbaset al Megrahi, serving a minimum 27-year sentence, has a color TV, VCR, stereo, personal computer, kitchen, floral curtains, framed art and unlimited telephone access. A prison official said the man must be isolated because of the nature of his crime, but that Barlinnie had a limited choice of such facilities. Things You Didn’t Know Were Problems Britain’s Industrial Christian Fellowship of religious scholars complained in September that people’s prayers go disproportionately for teachers and nurses and said it would distribute a set of prayers for the underblessed financial sector under the heading “When did you last pray for your stockbroker?” Crybabies Joseph Tomaino of Neptune, N.J., won $3 million from a jury because a side effect of penile surgery was an erection that lasted for three days, which an appeals court later found did not interfere with most of his daily activities. (The trial judge, who wanted to give Tomaino even more money, had the case taken away from him by the appeals court in November.) And passenger Ivette Jones, who said she was traumatized in the October Staten Island ferry collision and couldn’t sleep because she was so distraught, filed a $200 million lawsuit against New York City, $80 million more than claimed by a woman who lost both legs in the accident. Can’t Possibly Be True • The Oakland (Calif.) Tribune reported in November that a City of Oakland building inspector’s employee, fired in February 2002, took a government car (with logo) with her when she left and that no one noticed it was missing for 18 months, until the ex-employee had accumulated $1,500 in traffic tickets. At that point, the owner of the car was called to get the car out of the impound lot. • Angela Bridges filed a lawsuit in June against the Washington County (Ga.) Regional Medical Center and a doctor for failing to clean her wound properly. She fell into some shrubbery in her yard in 2002, cut her leg and reported to the emergency room for cleaning and suturing. Nine months later, another physician found that a small boxwood twig, with five thriving green leaves, had broken through the sutured skin. Inexplicable • In November, the town of Bolinas, Calif., voted 314-152 to adopt the following ballot measure (the official wording): “Vote for Bolinas to be a socially acknowledged nature-loving town because to like to drink the water out of the lakes to like to eat the blueberries to like the
bears is not hatred to hotels and motor boats. Dakar. Temporary and way to save life, skunks and foxes (airplanes to go over the ocean) and to make it beautiful.” A San Francisco Chronicle reporter attributed the town’s support for it to the fact that its sponsor, artist Jane “Dakar” Blethen, is a beloved, though eccentric, local character. • Police in Sandwich, Mass., are so far stumped why Daniel L. Kelleher, 48, was found covered head-to-toe with roofing tar, lying in a water-filled bathtub in a room at the Sandwich Motor Lodge on Nov. 11. Kelleher, a carpenter, apparently purchased the tar and caulking guns, and he had rented the same room a week earlier and left tar in the bathroom, but he has refused to answer detectives’ questions. Least Competent Criminals • Jason Cody Jones, 27, was arrested in Florence, Colo., in November and charged with suspicion of theft in connection with $110,000 missing this year from J.P. McGill’s casino, where Jones was a security guard. Jones called attention to himself by purchasing a motorcycle with 300 $20 bills and a pickup truck with a similar array of small bills, and for spending $35,000 during a six-month period this year while having earned only $6,400. • In October, about $450,000 worth of marijuana plants were discovered in a downtown Chicago apartment after police noted an overpowering scent that wafted the length of the building’s hallway. They arrested a Navy Pier worker and five students, one of whom voluntarily answered the police knock to inadvertently reveal marijuana plants covering almost every surface in the front room (as well as one room air freshener, which an occupant had optimistically placed near the door). Update In 2000, News of the Weird reported that a major plank in the platform of a Montana man running for the U.S. Senate was to encourage the space program to build and use an “elevator” to lift satellites into orbit, rather than the far more expensive rocket ships. An October 2003 Associated Press report disclosed that a dozen or more scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory so deeply believe in the elevator that they work on their own time on studying and promoting its feasibility. The elevator would be a cable shaft about 50,000 miles long, lowered to Earth from a conventional spacecraft and docked to a land station. The shaft would be made of “carbon nanotubes” (many times stronger yet lighter than steel), but the main problem is that, so far, science only knows how to make nanotubes a few feet long. Also, in the Last Month A sophisticated fake-report-card scheme was busted when several students insisted on boosting their Ds all the way up to As, provoking their parents to call the principal to see why their kids weren’t on the honor roll (Salem, N.H.). A 43-year-old man said he’d plead guilty in December to his fourth shoplifting conviction in two years, each one involving grocery store pork products (East St. Louis, Ill.). A bank robber who had forgotten to cut eye holes in his mask (and who kept lifting it to peek out) nonetheless escaped with his loot but not before banging into a steel door frame on his way out (Modesto, Calif.). — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate
Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Six miles from Maui is a Hawaiian island that tourists never visit — Kahoolawe. The U.S. Navy seized it in 1941 and used it as a target range for decades. After years of protests by native Hawaiians, the Navy finally stopped bombing and began a clean-up campaign. Last month it formally turned control of the island over to the rightful owners. “You can get a feel on Kahoolawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at the time of our ancestors,” says native Hawaiian Davianna McGregor. “We can practice our traditions there without it being a tourist attraction. It’s one place we can go to be in communion with our natural life forces.” Every one of us has a personal version of Kahoolawe, Aries: a part of our psyche that has been stolen or colonized by hostile forces. It’s a perfect moment for you to take back yours.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Three billion years ago, the Earth’s original singlecell organisms thrived in a carbon dioxide-rich atmosphere. As a byproduct of their metabolism, however, they released an abundant amount of oxygen. It was a pollutant that ultimately made their environment uninhabitable for them, though it prepared the way for the oxygen-breathers that now dominate the planet. Now let’s meditate on how this might be a useful metaphor for you, Taurus. Is there any “pollutant” produced by the person you were in the past that could be valuable for the person you will become in the future?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Vanessa Lucero, a 14-year-old New Mexico girl, is your role model this week. In October, she was named homecoming princess at her high school. On the weekend of her reign, she also played in a game for the football team, becoming the first female in school history to score a touchdown. During the span of a few glorious hours, she wore both a helmet and a tiara. Like Vanessa, you Geminis now have the
ACROSS
potential to notch triumphs in two separate spheres using different sets of skills.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
The world’s most famous Cancer, U.S. President George W. Bush, has described his relationship with newspapers this way: “I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who read the news themselves.” Please don’t imitate Bush’s approach as you gather information in the coming days, my fellow Crabs. It’s crucial that you never rely on third-hand reports as you penetrate to the root of every unfolding plot. You know how journalists sometimes bury really interesting and mysterious details at the end of their stories? That’s what life will do. After a study found that a majority of heterosexual men dive into sexual intercourse without any warmup, Britain launched its first annual National Foreplay Day last July. How about if we borrow this holiday for your use, Leo? I’m not saying you’ve been remiss in your approach to maximizing erotic pleasure, but there’s always room for improvement. Besides, from an astrological perspective this is a favorable time to expand your mastery of the arts of love. In fact, let’s borrow another British holiday, National Orgasm Day. I hereby proclaim this Universal Foreplay and Orgasm Week for all Leos.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
31 Not fond of dirty 62 Ancient
New York Times Crossword Puzzle
ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE B E T A
I M A C
T A T I
M E T R O
U S H E R
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I saw the Acura commercial on TV tonight. The car was driving through a remote high desert. Through the magic of computer graphics, it seemed to be creating the road as it moved, laying down paved blacktop where before there was only dirt. I thought of you immediately, Sagittarius. You’re in a comparable situation, right? There’s no path where you’re going, so you’ll have to make it for yourself as you proceed.
This week’s horoscope features the poetry of U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Delivered at a news briefing, it provides a perfect frame for the current state of your fate. “As we know,” he said, “there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” You, Virgo, are very close to discovering at least two of your personal unknown unknowns.
jokes, surely 32 Relaxed for short 4 Trapper’s prize 35 Le Mans event 8 Ordered around 36 Dual-purpose family room 14 Unofficial device promissory note 37 European 15 Ointment nomad ingredient 41 Nuke, maybe 16 Put a new face 43 Concerning on, say 44 Seating option 17 Thanksgiving 46 Walk faster than follower: Abbr. 49 Cinerary 18 Dual-purpose container kitchen device 50 Tarot card, with 20 Dual-purpose “The” office device 53 Plastic surgery 22 Light shades targets 23 Title character 54 Final Four grp. in a Pushkin 56 Dual-purpose drama bedroom device 24 Kemo ___ 59 Dual-purpose 26 “I didn’t know laundry room that!” device 27 Picks up on 61 Say in a 29 Playwright Rice postscript
A N O N
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Like every species, harmful microbes evolve over time in response to environmental conditions. Syphilis, for example, was far more lethal and fast spreading 500 years ago. It killed its human victims relatively quickly, which diminished its ability to proliferate in new hosts. Ultimately, a milder variety developed to ensure the survival of the species. An infected person lived longer and could spread the syphilis strain further. I propose that you adopt this model as a metaphor for dealing with your bad moods, aberrant behavior and temporary attacks of insanity. Cultivate your relationship with the milder forms of these pathologies, confident that this will make the nastier versions obsolete.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
1 Backyard party,
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
My Libran friend John was constantly harassed and shamed by his father over trivial issues when he was growing up. A typical scenario often occurred in the kitchen as John scanned the refrigerator for an appetizing snack. “You idiot!” his dad would scream at him. “How many millions of times have I told you not to hold the refrigerator door open so long?” John would immediately close the door and leave in silence, feeling humiliated and hungry. When he told me this story today, here’s what I advised him to do: Keep his refrigerator door open for as long as it takes to wipe away the pain of his father’s inane cruelty. To the rest of you Libras I say: Rebel in a way that will heal a wound from childhood.
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Macedonian city with noted tombs 63 Where a rabbit punch lands 64 U.N. donor ___ Turner 65 Make extracts from by boiling 66 Symbols of industry 67 Winding road part
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Single Erstwhile of TV’s “___ Doone” 42 Little helper “Sabrina” Mock words of 44 House of 33 New Deal enlightenment games program: Abbr. 57 Color used in 45 Momentarily 34 Outer: Prefix four-color processing 36 Powerful person 47 Discarded in Iran, say 48 Hector or Rusty 58 Probability 38 Come before of 70’s baseball 60 PC key 40 Gusto
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Each week I give my readers homework. A recent assignment was to finish the sentence, “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is __________.” Many respondents filled in the blank with “my fears.” Other common answers were “lack of money,” “my spouse” and “my obsession with everyone’s images of me.” But the best contribution was from Ann-Marie at www.getunderground.com. She said, “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is people’s reluctance to lick patent leather.” By not taking herself too seriously, she showed that nothing can keep her from being herself. Drawing inspiration from her sterling example, Pisces, finish this sentence in a more humorous way than you normally might: “The one thing that keeps me from being myself is __________.” — © Rob Brezsny
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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“So many of us are not in our bodies, really at home and vibrantly present there,” says dancer Gabrielle Roth. “Nor are we in touch with the basic rhythms that constitute our bodily life. We live outside ourselves — in our heads, our memories, our longings — absentee landlords of our own estate.” Does any of that description fit you, Aquarius? If so, here’s good news: The months ahead will provide you with the best opportunity ever to come home to your body, to inhabit it with robust awareness and gratitude. And it all starts now. To show you’re ready, find a place to be alone in the dark, put on music that moves you and dance yourself all the way back into your body.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Capricorn actress Drea de Matteo’s career is in full bloom. Besides her regular role on HBO’s “The Sopranos,” she has been in nine movies since 2001. To what should we attribute her success? Lots of talent, for one. A playwright mother who exposed her to the theater early, for two. During her recent appearance on Carson Daly’s “Last Call” TV show, she revealed a
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ballsy magic that constitutes a third ingredient. She told Daly she keeps the testicles of her Great Dane, which she had neutered a few years ago, in a jar of formaldehyde by her bed. Take inspiration from her example, Capricorn. It’s high time you acknowledged the fact that skill and hard work may not be enough to get you where you want to go; you also need mojo.
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ZZZ JR ER[ FRP Experience Christmas at New Hope as the Worship Arts Ministry presents: “New Hope for the Holidays,� an evening of celebration and reflection, sharing the miracle of God’s love in the lives of His people.
Sun., Dec. 21st, at 6:30 PM Mon., Dec. 22nd, at 7:30 PM
I-20 at Belair Road (Exit 194) • 706-868-6410 • www.nhwc.org
GREAT GOLF & MORE
Low Weekly & Weekend Rates (call call for tee times) Gift Certificates Beautiful Clubhouse Equipped for Banquets & Parties Private Golf Lessons
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Santa Blood Drive Friday, December 19 • All Shepeard Blood Center locations 1533 Wrightsboro Road 9am - 6pm, 112 Davis Road 10 am - 3pm, 1019 Pine Log Road, Aiken 10am - 6pm
• Santa will be at each location from 11am -3pm
M
y boyfriend just confessed that he feels “intimidatedâ€? by my attractiveness! He said he’s had relationships in the past with less attractive women and felt more secure. Is this ridiculous, or what!? — Pretty Dumfounded The supermodel does not lie down with the superstore clerk. There is no stampede from the Victoria’s Secret photo shoot to the bar where all the Jack-In-The-Box cashiers hang out. And here’s an “In Styleâ€? caption you’re never going to read: “Monica Bellucci and Salma Hayek escorted into The Academy Awards on the arms of Walt Morton, night manager, Ace Wholesale Plumbing Supply.â€? Don’t stick the blame on the superstarlets. Just as water seeks its own level, so do the fry cook, the dishwasher repairman and the bowling shoe rental dude — if they’re smart. Let’s say some Ăźber-beauty, bored with European royalty and movie demigods, wakes up craving a little downmarket fun. Hello, Joe Average! Of course, for her, the utterly average is utterly exotic: “Say it again,â€? she’ll beg: “‘Do you want fries with that?!’â€? After Mr. Average gets bored congratulating himself on his stellar good luck, he may come to realize exactly how unlucky he is. See, what you’ve never had, you don’t miss. And, that’s the key here. Because, as with “shtetl chicâ€? — the unfortunate trend that has “Vogueâ€? cover girls dressing like turn-of-the-century eastern European street urchins — whims in downwardly mobile dating fly by faster than models can turn $8,000 of pretend-poor couture into dust wipes. The same goes even when the person on the high end of the status gap is more likely to catsit than cat-walk. In other words, your boyfriend’s no dope. A slew of studies bears out his fears. Psych prof David Buss sums them up in “The Dangerous Passionâ€?: “Those who are lower in desirability are more vulnerable to getting unceremoniously dumped. The person higher in mate value comes to feel ‘under-benefited’ in the relationship, sensing ... better possibilities elsewhere. People act on these feelings.â€? Maybe you have no intention, now, of trading up to a European race car driver from your current North American rat race contestant; but, if you really are his much, much better half, you remain a flight risk. The way he sees it, maybe the sun was in your eyes when he handed you his business card, and you misread his title as
“Lover� instead of “Loser.� He’s not sure why you’re still hanging around, but he suspects it’s only a matter of time before Something Better comes along and carts you off on a hand-truck. Beauty may be truth, but one approach to this problem could be making your looks lie a little. Apply to be the first case of reverse plastic surgery on reality TV. Your issue will certainly take producers by surprise: “How ugly do I need to be to keep my boyfriend? Add a hook nose? Eye bags? A weak chin? And maybe hire a trainer — a pie-eating contest coach to help me pack on some pounds.� If you favor a non-surgical solution, try convincing him that you’re with him for good reason. Show him you want him in the way you jump him when he comes to the door. Be specific about what you like and love about him. Rinse, and repeat. Ironically, making an effort in this relationship might mean lazing around in a shapeless gray T-shirt with rollers in your hair. Ultimately, no matter what you do, your boyfriend’s low opinion of himself may doom the relationship. Beauty talks, but from the insecure guy’s perspective, ugly seems more likely to stick around to make lasagna next Tuesday night. _____________________________________ I’m 33, and perpetually single. When I date a man, I like to wine him, dine him and give him gifts, but my efforts are never appreciated or returned in kind. In fact, I’m usually stood up, and left feeling heartbroken and used. What am I doing wrong? — Nice Girl Finishing Last You have to decide whether you want to be Santa or somebody’s girlfriend. If you’d like to go for girlfriend-hood, your objective, when you’re on a date, should be exchanging witty banter, period. The point is seeing whether you have a connection with someone, not bribing them into coming back for more: “Date your way to a new car!� (Why not just scrawl “Desperate!� in red lipstick on your forehead?) Finally, keep in mind that a guy might want to have a role in the date, too. Your current dating style is a bit like throwing a ball to your dog and making him stay while you run and fetch it. While it’s nice to avoid treating men like walking wallets, all your wining, dining and gifting doesn’t leave much for your date to do — well, beyond rolling over and playing dead while you hold up both ends of the conversation.
— Š 2003, Amy Alkon
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Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 • e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com
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To respond to ads using a STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5’8”, 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. ☎321666 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN Honest SWF, 5’4”, long dark brown/hazel, would like to meet a trustworthy SWM for a good, honest, open relationship. I smoker, so another smoker is preferred. Grovetown. ☎111411 BE MY FRIEND Attractive SWF, 29, 5’7”, 129lbs, brown/brown, N/S, no kids, never married, seeks SWM, 20-37, in shape, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎945103 SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE SBCF, 50, 165lbs, Scorpio, N/S, church-goer, mother of one, seeks outgoing, christian SBM, 50-60, N/S, with good heart, who is serious, for LTR. ☎885036 GOOD GIRL Attractive SWF, 38, 5’4”, 145lbs, blonde/hazel, N/S, Pisces, enjoys outdoors. Seeking tall SWM, 30-42. ☎864247
OPEN-MINDED, EASYGOING SWM, 27, 5’8”, 125lbs, blond/blue, smoker, loves pizza. Seeking WF, 25-45, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎819355 FUNNY GUY SBM, 30, 5’9”, brown/brown, medium build, N/S, into sports, movies, dining out, friends, quiet times. Seeking down-to-earth, romantic SF, 29-35, who knows what she wants. ☎718864 DARE YOU TO ENJOY LIFE SWM, 35, 5’10”, with above-average looks, military officer, N/S, loves travel. ISO an exciting, adventurous woman, 22-50, N/S, who likes to have fun. ☎830590
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OPEN-MINDED GUY SBM, 5’11”, 20, well-groomed, Capricorn, N/D, N/S, enjoys basketball, friends, dining, music. Seeking nice, real woman, 18-25, for LTR. ☎800701 STARTING OVER Non-smoking SM, 19, 5’11”, 155lbs, brown/brown, medium build, likes movies, travel, sports, reading, quiet evenings at home. Seeking outgoing, adventurous SF, 1821, N/S, for LTR. ☎752673 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 34, 6’2”, 235lbs, N/S, loves cooking, and loves to romance you. Seeking woman, 20-40. If you’re reading this ad, let’s hook up. ☎815532 DO YOU LIKE 2 TRAVEL SM, 59, sociable and fun, enjoys bingo, dining out, movies, travel, more. Seeking sincere, happy, spontaneous lady for possible LTR. ☎774081 A LOT TO OFFER easygoing SWM, 5’ 11”, Athletic build, 23, Cancer, N/S, seeks woman, 18-35, for friendship, possible romance. ☎761055 DONT PASS ME BY SWM, 41, Sagittarius, smoker, who enjoys cooking. Seeking Attractive WF, 30-50, to date. ☎752123 ACTUAL NICE GUY Independent, professional SBM, 5’ 9”, Average build, 30, Pisces, with a nice smile, N/S, seeks woman, 27-37, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. ☎751873 CALL ON MY Active, fun and intellectual SBM, 5’ 11”, Slim build, 20, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks woman, 20-24, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎755250
Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES
COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. ☎810309 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym. Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. ☎807679 ADVENTUROUS MOM SBF, 29, Cancer, N/S, loves beaches, horror movies, and horseback riding. Seeking man, 25-40, N/S, strong-minded, who loves kids. ☎808682 LOVES TO BOWL WF, 48, petite, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys Chicano cuisines. Seeking WM, 46-59, N/S, very outgoing, for LTR. ☎806136 HI! I’m a 49-year-old SWF and I WLTM a onewoman’s man, very lonely person. I WLTM a gentleman who would to be good to me and treat me w/kindness and gentleness. ☎793024 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. ☎421273 NEVER SAY NEVER SWF, 41, 5’2”, blonde/blue, cuddly, new to area, Kentucky girl, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys cooking, waterfalls, kissing, long walks. Seeking WM, 38-46, for friendship, and who knows? ☎686314 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. ☎511453 SEEKS SIMILAR SWF, 23, Capricorn, N/S, 5’2”, 190lbs, brown hair, enjoys sports, walks, dining, cuddling. Seeking SWM, 20-33, N/S, for possible relationship. ☎800318 A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? ☎777612 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. ☎323553 AQUARIUS SEEKING SWF, 46, 5’6”, smoker, enjoys cuddling, movies, gardening. Seeking honest, handsome SWM, 40-50, with similar interests, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎759515 MY OTHER HALF! SF, 46, 5’9’’, loves art, camping, fishing, animals, just getting away, relaxing. Seeking SM, 40-50, with the same interests. ☎732412
THE LORD, ABOVE ALL SBCF, 38, Pisces, N/S, in the medical field (works private duty), would like to meet SBCM, 38-50, who shares my love of the Lord, for LTR. ☎727626 TRAVEL, ANIMALS... and movies make me happy. SWF, 53, Capricorn, N/S, loves the fall and spring and visiting Gatlinburg, TN. Seeking WM, 55-56, for LTR. ☎728854 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. ☎707742 SOUND IN MIND SWF, 40, 5’6’’, brown/green, mother, Pisces, N/S, N/Drugs, seeks attractive, good guy, sound in mind, body, and soul, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎701180 I LOVE ROSES SBF, 31, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports, music. Seeking SBM, 31-40, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎675623 SOMEONE YOU KNOW? Full-figured SBF, 62, 5’11”, H/W proportionate, brown/brown, loving, likes church, singing, movies. Seeking a good man who knows what he wants. ☎676011 SOUTHERN BELL SBF, 50, with a pretty face, wants to meet a BCM, who loves to dance, shop and needs more fun in life. ☎660334 SINGLE MOM Plus-sized female, 29, 5’3”, brown/hazel, cute, independent, enjoys conversation, movies, dining out. Seeking a man with a life of his own and would like to share mine as well. ☎634069 FIRST TIME AD Attractive SBF, 27, light-complected Pisces, non-smoker, seeks BM, 26-30, non-smoker, who is honest and interested in a long-term relationship. ☎603443 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, down-toearth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. ☎582549 I’D LIKE TO HEAR... what you have to say. SBF, 18, 5’5”, darkskinned, pretty, Aries, N/S, enjoys shopping, vacations, and movies. Seeking a man, 20-28. ☎578781 RAINY DAYS AND COOKING... are a few of my delights. DBF, 38, 5’5”, 125lbs, pecan tan complexion, laid-back, down-toearth, Aquarius, smoker, N/D, seeks BM, 3045. ☎569952 JUST BE THERE FOR ME SBF, 23, 5’2”, Pisces, N/S, enjoys traveling. Seeking a romantic WM, 25-31, N/S, for LTR. ☎576613 MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY Loving, intelligent SBF, 34, seeks SBM, 3545, for companionship, long walks, movies, dining out and more. ☎550597 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. ☎532672 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. ☎463610 DON’T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5’1”, 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. ☎463061 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter. Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627
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M B D F H C LTR
Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship
G W A S J P N/D N/S
Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker
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54 M E T R O
1 1 2 0 0 3
HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎556440 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954
SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports. Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. ☎824261 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping. Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. ☎769411 FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. ☎764332 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities. Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. ☎737679 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. ☎627150 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. ☎708544 A LOT TO OOFER Outgoing SWM, 5’ 10”, average build, 44, Capricorn, smoker, seeks WM, 40-50, smoker, to date and enjoy a lifetime companionship. ☎691527 DONT MISS OUT Fun-loving GWM, 24, likes sports, dining out, movies, quiet evenings at home, music. Seeking romantic, affectionate GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎675371 SPRINGTIME BLOOM SWM, 33, with an education in business, seeks a man who loves country music, karaoke, springtime, and making a connection with a good person. ☎659296 ROAM IF YOU WANT TO SWM, 42, loves cool weather and the renewal of Spring. Seeking a man who is strong both physically and emotional. ☎661792 SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5’7”, 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. ☎647347 LOOKING FOR LOVE Outgoing, spontaneous, loving, down-to earth SBM, 24, Sagittarius, non-smoker, seeks man, 19-50, to date and enjoy life. ☎602634 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700
How do you
A NEW START Retired, fit, outgoing GWM, 44, enjoys walks, movies, sports, reading. Seeking outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527836 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707
1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. ☎830500
PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades. NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. ☎818596 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. ☎818908 DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music. Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎808179 GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel. Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. ☎803723 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489 A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎749660 A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 2150, for LTR. ☎751226 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110
JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. ☎730225 SEEKING STRONG FRIENDSHIP BiWF, 27, 5’8’’, 145lbs, student, enjoys romantic comedies, fall, quiet restaurants. Seeking female for clubbing, shopping, dancing, dining, movies, television. ☎700095 LOOKING FOR A FRIEND GBF, 38, black/brown, medium build, N/S, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports. Seeking kind, sweet, honest GBF, 30-38, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎695904 ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. ☎646271 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177
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© 2003 TPI GROUP
CAN WE TALK ? Spiritual SWM, 44, Capricorn, smoker, who enjoys the Fall. Seeking AF, 30-50, for LTR. ☎755341 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’ 11”, Average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling. Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR. ☎733850 HERE I AM! SM, 43, likes playing golf, the outdoors, nature, country music, some rock-n-roll. Would like to get together with a young lady, 27-45, who likes the same things. ☎703650 COMMITMENT-MINDED SWM, 5’7”, slim build, new to area, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking SF, 25-47, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎695638 SEEKS WARRIOR QUEEN Warrior SBM, 29, likes movies, horseback riding, travel, romantic evenings. Seeking warrior queen, 18-29, with similar interests. ☎695792 LOOKING FOR YOU SWM, 43, Taurus, smoker, likes funny movies. Seeking WF, 29-35, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎693348 GETTING TO KNOW YOU SWM, 54, Libra, N/S, loves baseball, jogging, and swimming. Seeking WF, 40-55, for friendship, possible romance. ☎685199 A SMILE SAYS IT ALL Easygoing SBM, 32, new to area, enjoys dining, sporting events, quiet times home. Seeking SF who enjoys sports and doesn’t always need to be on the go, for romance, LTR. ☎683984 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 ARE YOU LOOKING 4 LOVE? you’ve found it! Honest, trustworthy SM, 33, enjoys drives, cruises, quiet times at home, time with friends, good conversations. Seeking communicative, outgoing, intelligent lady to share friendship and maybe relationship. ☎681924 HANDY MAN Medium-built, tolerant, clean, financially secure DWM, 48, 5’10”, Aquarius, smoker, with a good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, house work, gardening, reading, music, cuddling. Seeking woman, 35-55, for long-term relationship. ☎607612 PRINCE CHARMING SM, 25, 6’, 180lbs, brown/brown, truck driver, likes movies, reading, dining out, dancing, sports, travel. Seeking mature, outgoing woman who knows what she wants. ☎675675 SINGLE DAD Attractive, outgoing SWM, 27, 5’6”, 160lbs, likes movies, dining out, travel, conversation. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-35, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎677721 WAITING FOR YOU SBM, 19, with a brown complexion, wants to meet a woman who is through with games, for the fun stuff of life. ☎656637 OUT OF THE ORDINARY SWM, 21, smoker, likes Nelly, break dancing, ideal date would be dinner followed by something out of the ordinary, such as time at the shooting range, seeks SBF, for LTR. ☎651750 ALL EARS SBM, 26, Gemini, N/S, very outgoing, loves working out, easygoing, loves to have fun, seeks outgoing woman, 19-31, who likes to have fun. ☎654007 MAKE ME LAUGH SWM, 19, 5’10”, 165lbs, dark features, goodlooking, seeks very outgoing woman who can adapted to most any situation, possible relationship. ☎631029 SEEKING CHRISTIAN WOMAN Friendly, committed, independent SBCM, 43, 5’11”, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, committed, independent SBCF for friendship, possible LTR. ☎796760
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AUGUSTA CLEARANCE CENTER 2705 Peach Orchard Rd. (Now Open Sun).706-798-8882 AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 274 Rob’t C. Daniels Pkwy................................706-667-8008 CENTRAL AUGUSTA 617 15th Street (Now Open Sun)..........................706-724-5800 EVANS CROSSING 4359 Washington Rd. ...............................................706-210-8010
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3 YEAR ALIGNMENT PLUS 3 FREE OIL CHANGES
69
$
99
See store for details
Most vehicles • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 1-3-04
RADIATOR FLUSH
39
$
99
• Inspect system and pressure test for leaks • Flush and chemically clean system • Refill with correct amount of coolant • Add sealant/lubricant
Most vehicles • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 1-3-04
ENGINE DIAGNOSIS
29
$
99
• Does your car hesitate? • Have poor acceleration? • Is your Check Engine light on?
Most vehicles • Shop supply fees in the amount of up to 6% will be added to all services • Expires 1-3-04
We Honor Most National Accounts
HEPHZIBAH 2601 Tobacco Rd. ...............................................................706-790-0977 MARTINEZ 3849 Washington Rd. .............................................................706-860-6303 N. AUGUSTA 404 E. Martintown Rd. (Closed Sun) .................................803-278-4466