Metro Spirit 07.25.2013 by Metro Spirit

CONTENTS

o metIrRIT SP

WHINE LINE

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT

04 06

METRONEWS AUGUSTA TEK FEATURE CROSSWORD

08 10 14 17

EVENTS CALENDAR JENNY IS WRIGHT SIGHTINGS

18 26 27

SLAB THE 8

28 31

WHINE LINE

Continues on page 34

I will be so glad when the indie folk string band fad has passed. It can’t come soon enough. Everyone and their mother is starting up bands just like Mumford and Sons, Lumineers, Avett Brothers, etc. Please, make it stop already.

Teaching hate only leads to more ignorance. Teach yourself and your kids patience, understanding, and tolerance.

A couple things to last week’s “speak English” whiner: If your speech is anything like your writing, it’s no wonder those Mexicans couldn’t understand you. And, just to be clear: Because we live in America, no one can ever speak another language? Or would you cut me some slack because I’m white?

Sorry to interrupt your New Black Pantha Pahty

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

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Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU Laura3HUU\_YROXQWHHU KristinHawkins|editorial intern

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Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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Alcohol consumption encourages risky behaviors and loss of motivation, which can keep you from reaching your full potential and goals.

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Breathing Uneasy What a difference a year makes — especially when it’s a year closer to an election. Last year, when the push for a smoking ban had little public awareness and possibly even less public support, Corey Johnson was all over it. Now, while he’s planning ways to be seen as a compassionate leader, he says he hasn’t had enough time to talk to his fellow commissioners about it. Huh? Unlike last year, when the pro-‐ban side consisted of a bunch of hired guns from Atlanta and Savannah and a vocal but rambling group of locals, this year the pro-‐ban lobby has made a very public display of gearing up for a fight. They’ve been hitting public events and have even organized a concert to spotlight their desire to see a smoke-‐free Augusta. Yet still Johnson seems to have been caught unprepared. Sure, a lot of people have problems with the idea of a smoking ban, but obviously Johnson wasn’t one of them. So it seems like he’s done nothing but succeed at letting down those who thought they could count on him and fail at taking take the Captain’s Chair on an issue whose time, it would seem, has maybe come. Wonder why?

A Taxing Situation It’s funny how when Sheriff Roundtree proposed reinstituting a downtown Business Improvement District it was called a “new tax.” Technically, of course, it would be, but it’s not like most of the same area hadn’t voted to pay it before — and for what nearly all would agree was far less than what they’d get from this one. Yet taxes are taxes and all are leery. As one city official put it, it all comes down to what you think that guy from Hephzibah ought to be responsible for. Should he, being someone who pays for his own law enforcement the way those in the BID area pay for their own law enforcement, be made to pay for extra law enforcement for the BID area? That’s what would happen if the cost of those enhanced services fell on the rest of the taxpayers. After all, he enjoys the restaurants and bars in the downtown BID area — doesn’t he share in a civic responsibility to keep the area extra safe? Or, should those who actually own property in the area, those who stand to gain or lose depending on the condition of the area, be the ones responsible for investing in something that would make their area extra inviting? The people who live in the area will eventually be able to vote up or down on the tax, but should they vote no and the commission then decides that the enhanced law enforcement presence is a necessity and not a luxury, the rest of the taxpayers won’t have that same opportunity, will they?

Once More, With Feeling The Richmond County Board of Education is playing brinksmanship with another superintendent. Apparently, that fun just never gets old. This time, the BOE is waiting until the August meeting to discuss whether or not to keep Frank Roberson, who’s had the post since August 2010, but missed more than a year and a half recuperating from a brain injury. The last time, the board got sideways with Dana Bedden by not offering him a contract when he thought he should have received it. Consequently, Bedden applied for a job in Texas and left to take a superintendent’s position in Irving. Early this month, Bedden resigned from that position. Though Bedden received considerable praise while in Augusta for his no-‐nonsense approach to discipline issues on school campuses, he was seen by many as an opportunist who jumped ship before some of the inevitable financial and accountability problems became his. Roberson has impressed with his calm leadership, especially his ability to maneuver through the last grueling budget process, but he’s been gone so much, it’s hard to give him a proper evaluation. Does everybody like him? No. Has the BOE shown patience through his illness and the well publicized lack of information given through much of it by his family? Yes. Still, wouldn’t any doubts or frustrations or concerns have been more effectively addressed before everyone had their backs against the wall? Aren’t students supposed to study all semester and not just for the final?

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Racism Clear in Rhodes’ Column Dear Metro Spirit Editor: This is in response to Austin Rhodes’ article titled “Strange Dichotomy Emerges in Controversy.” Rhodes wrote, “Trayvon could have gotten the message that skulking around looking like a thug in that neighborhood was not a good thing for a smart guy to do. Clearly, he did not know that. The Retreat at Twin Lakes should have invested in some serious signage, and perhaps even a mandatory community covenant that all residents would have to sign, acknowledging that their streets were being aggressively patrolled, and that failure to cooperate with said patrols would result in an immediate call to the police, and that the summoned law enforcement personnel could be expected to handle the situation further. Had Trayvon Martin been made aware of such a policy, I doubt he would have made the same choices he did that fateful night.” First, I want to thank Austin Rhodes for clearly demonstrating it was ignorance and racism which led to Trayvon Martin’s unfortunate death. First, Rhodes mentioned Trayvon was skulking around. Skulking means to move or go about in a stealthy manner; sneak. However, it was clearly reported Trayvon was leisurely walking through the neighborhood trying to get to his destination. But, I guess in the ignorant, racist mind he was stealthy and sneaking. Second, Rhodes mentioned Trayvon was looking like a thug. Thug means cruel or vicious ruffian, robber or murderer. Ruffian means tough lawless person; brutal bully. Again, it was clearly reported Trayvon was not a ruffian, robber or murderer on the night he was killed by Zimmerman. He was just a black teen walking in a neighborhood. However, in the ignorant, racist mind, all black teens walking at night are thugs. Therefore, it was perfectly okay for Zimmerman to stalk, confront and kill the black unarmed teen. Obviously, Austin Rhodes and those who are like-‐minded saw the verdict as justice for George Zimmerman and justification for killing a black teen thug. Kevin Palmer Martinez

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Mirror, Mirror Maybe you should take your own advice, Austin

This weekend, I did something I don’t usually do (aside from working five shifts in three days): I actually read Austin Rhodes’ column. I did this for two reasons, one causal and one intentional: regarding the former, I wanted to do a little reading but was incredibly weary of both body and mind, and the ethereal prose of Tom Clancy seemed a bit of a challenge, so I had to scale it back a bit. Regarding the latter, I didn’t have time to dream up any sort of whack-‐a-‐doo essay-‐length metaphor about the parallels between the career trajectory of Keijo Niinimaa and the advent of social media as a viable news outlet. Actually, I’m just kidding. The day I read a piece of Tom Clancy literature that isn’t the instruction manual to Rainbow Six: Vegas is the day I write one of these damn things without falling back on a meandering prologue. So yeah, I read through Austin’s “Dichotomy” piece. And then I read it again. And again, and again, and again, until my brain began to crawl out of my ear and my contacts slipped beneath my eyeballs. In some respects, it’s difficult to take offense — or at least to articulate why offense is taken — at Rhodes’ thread of logic and initial call for nonviolence and peaceful dialogue. It’s like yellow ribbons on lapels and bumpers, or Halle Berry topless in “Swordfish:” who can argue with a plea for the reasonable exchanging of ideas, gripes and grievances between parties of wholly different backgrounds? You can’t be against that. And then the bottom drops out. And by “the bottom drops out,” I mean that Austin Rhodes proceeds to treat the idea of well-‐informed commentary like a horny lobotomy patient treats a beanbag chair. Just a few of the things Rhodes fails to mention: 1. Zimmerman had been in trouble before, exhibiting something of a violent tendency at worst, and a proclivity for impetuous decision making at best. He had been accused, at 21, of physically assaulting an officer who was questioning a friend of Zimmerman’s regarding drunken behavior, and Zimmerman’s ex-‐ fiancée filed a restraining order against him in 2005, alleging domestic violence, charges that could not be corroborated. Everyone’s allowed a few mistakes, and Zimmerman’s actions at the age of 21 are not all that far off from a 17-‐year-‐old Trayvon Martin’s somewhat ill-‐ advised aggressive behavior towards Zimmerman. I say this because defenders of Zimmerman and/or his actions will bring up his relatively young age as something of a justification. To put this in perspective, Trayvon Martin was 17, not an age generally associated with calm and rational behavior. But Zimmerman was 29 when he shot Martin. He’s a grown man, and he should know better. And, hey, speaking of Zimmerman’s poor decision-‐making… 2. Zimmerman ignored the orders of police, and continued to follow Martin after being ordered not to. During his initial call to police to report Martin’s “suspicious” behavior, the officer on the line told Zimmerman to back off, and that a police car was on the way. Zimmerman chose, for whatever reason, 6

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

to ignore the officer and to continue following Martin, which prompted the teenager, understandably so, to in turn become suspicious of Zimmerman, and ask why he was being followed. The situation, as we know, then escalated. I don’t know why Zimmerman made the decision to proceed against police orders. Was his blood up? Was he drunk or high (no sobriety test of any kind was performed on him, and if right-‐wing bigots can crucify a teenage shooting victim for having trace amounts of marijuana metabolites in his system, then I am all out of f***s to give)? Was the severity of his justice-‐boner such that he needed to avenge the law upon any perpetrator, real or imagined? Who knows? But he did, and it was George Zimmerman’s own stupid ass, not Trayvon Martin, that started this whole mess. And while we’re on the subject of messes… 3. Look, the “Stand Your Ground” law is pretty much the worst thing ever. As the rulebook currently stands, you are allowed — if you have a permit for concealed carry — to shoot another human being if at any point you believe that your life is in danger. It’s like 19th century Texas, but with more racism. It has been shown in two different studies — by Texas A&M and Georgia State — to foster a marked increase in homicide rates. The Stanford Law Review concluded the same. The law is incredibly stupid for a good many reasons, not least of which is that it legally and mortally empowers knee-‐jerk reactions to perceived danger, even and often when there turns out to be none at all. Zimmerman, somehow, believed at the time that Trayvon Martin was about to murder the hell out of him with a packet of Skittles, and the state of Florida deems that reasonable justification for murder. On top of that, the law isn’t even applied equally across the board. Recently, a Florida woman was sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing a handgun into the air — which you’ll recognize as being not into someone’s chest — in an attempt to scare away her abusive ex — which you’ll recognize as not being a 17-‐year-‐old on his way home to enjoy some Skittles. If you haven’t read the whole story, I won’t spoil it by telling you what race the woman is, but it rhymes with “black.” Also, Austin: profiling is immoral and lazy, so the assertion that Trayvon Martin should have known better than to be “skulking around looking like a thug” holds precious little water. In the end, though — and with the first half of your column in mind here — maybe you can learn to take your own advice: If you don’t want to risk being taken to task for making ignorant, half-‐assed statements, then maybe you shouldn’t skulk around these pages making ignorant, half-‐assed statements. On a more diplomatic note, I have to say that “Stirrer of Pudding” would be a great handle if you ever decide to get into World of Warcraft.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-‐intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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ERICJOHNSON

Promoting What’s There

Maybe taking the Jessye Norman Amphitheater private is the way to go

Augusta native Jessye Norman continues to rake in the honors, including the NAACP’s Spingarn Medal, the organization’s highest honor for achievement, but the Riverwalk amphitheater named in her honor sits largely empty. “We don’t really promote it,” Robert Levine, the new recreation director, told commissioners a couple of weeks ago. “It’s just kind of word of mouth.” Local restaurateur and promoter Brad Usry wants that to change. “Some private entity should take it and run with it for at least a year,” he said. “Somebody that has the knowledge of the business and has a vested interest in the downtown.” That somebody, he said, could be him. He’s talked with Commissioner Mary Davis and others about the possibility of taking over management of the venue. Administrator Fred Russell doesn’t object to the idea. “Obviously, if we had somebody that was specifically marketing that venue, you might get more use out of it than doing it the way we do,” he said. Levine admitted the special events office off the Common doesn’t do a lot of marketing and promotion. They handle the bookings and deal with the people who are interested in using it for different things, but, unlike Columbia County, which actively promotes the Lady Antebellum Amphitheater as well as the smaller amphitheater behind the Evans 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Library, they basically just fill requests. “But we do have a departmental goal to increase the usage of the Riverwalk in its entirety,” he said. “We’re always looking for partners and people who want to work with us and people we can collaborate with, so if it turns out that there is a private event promoter who is interested in doing this, we could entertain conversations with them to bring in more activity.” Davis agreed that bringing more people to the Riverwalk is a key to rebuilding its image as the sightseeing destination of Augusta. “If we work on cleaning up the Riverwalk, which we’re doing as far as landscaping and lights, and if we get the sheriff on board with some kind of new or better security plan and our amphitheater is booking shows every week, then we’ve helped the downtown,” she said. “People make it safer, and hopefully that brings revenue and hopefully more retail.” Sheriff Richard Roundtree, of course, has proposed the controversial Continually Patrolled District, a business improvement district that, if passed, would assess an extra tax on downtown residents for expanded law enforcement service. He also recommended closing the Riverwalk overnight, something he has since backed away from. Bringing in additional events to the Jessye Norman Amphitheater might be an expensive proposition, however, since all seem to agree the facility

needs to be upgraded. Usry, who as a promoter has brought in acts like Widespread Panic and Corey Smith, said the facility needs a self-‐contained ticket booth, as well as some way to section it off and a better way for musicians to set up their equipment. “That’s a nightmare because there’s no access without driving down the little sidewalk of the Riverwalk,” he said. “And there are no permanent concessions, either.” It’s also not ADA-‐compliant. The Americans with Disabilities Act protects the rights of people with disabilities to access places of public accommodation. “It was built at a time when that wasn’t one of the major considerations,” Russell said. “As we continue to move forward, that is something we’re going to have to look at, and it’s going to be an expensive fix at this particular point in time, if you could do it at all. I don’t know if you could put restrooms at the bottom level because of the flooding issues, and I don’t know how you would get people up and down without some additional ramps and such. That’s going to be a tough one.” He said remodeling over a certain percentage would trigger the new standards, and at that point it might be cost prohibitive. “It’s going to cost us X number of dollars to bring it up to current standards,” he said. “What’s the return on that investment?”

Usry, a member of the Coliseum Authority, said that while a venue should be competitive, it’s never going to make money no matter how well it’s managed. “I don’t know if it will ever make money just like the civic center would never make money,” he said. “That’s just one of those lifestyle things, but you want to cut your losses, you’d think, and bring some folks downtown.” Usry thinks second-‐tier acts that can’t necessarily draw 5,000 people to a civic center but can bring 1,500 to an outdoor venue are tailor made for the amphitheater. “You can sell that ticket for $15 rather than demanding $35 or $40 a ticket, which makes it affordable for families to come,” he said. Another asset, he said, is the fact that the TEE Center’s parking deck is so close, which alleviates the parking issues he used to deal with when he was bringing shows in before. “Music is a natural for that place,” he said. “It’s certainly not a sure thing, but it’s worth testing the waters. I know I’ve had events there that were very successful, and I’ve done events where it was thundering or spitting rain or threatening and instead of having 1,500 people we had 500. I did Widespread Panic there a few years ago and there were more people in boats watching than people actually in the seats.”

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Kickstarted Into a Theater Near You Website offers creative arts funding both locally and nationally

With movies like “Despicable Me 2” and “Man of Steel,” we’ve seen the release of quite a number of respectable movies. Of course, nothing is perfect.

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Some of you are probably disappointed with “World War Z” or are not sure that “Smurfs 2” is going to live up to the hype. (Insert Smurf “La-‐La-‐La” song here.) In the past, not many options were available to disgruntled moviegoers like yourself. But like everything else, the Internet is beginning to change that, too. Does anyone remember a detective show called “Veronica Mars” that played on the CW a few years ago? The show featured a teenaged Kristin Bell in the title role. The show was a critical success and developed a niche following. Ultimately it was cancelled after three seasons. Rumors for a movie persisted for a couple of years, but eventually those died out as well. Fast forward to 2013 and this nifty little thing called Kickstarter. Series creator Rob Thomas and Kristin Bell never let go of the movie idea. As part of the deal to persuade Warner Bros. to make the movie, Thomas and Bell put out a call on Kickstarter for investors. If they could raise $2 million, the Veronica Mars movie would become a reality. Kickstarter works like this: First, you have an idea for a creative project. Art, music, technology, fashion — it’s your project to decide. In this case, Thomas and Bell wanted to make a Veronica Mars movie. Second, you decide how much investment you need to make your project a reality, and create different levels of rewards for those who pledge more to fund your project. Veronica Mars needed $2 million to get the studio on board. Backers of the movie received anything from autographed movie posters to tickets to the premiere. One guy actually received a speaking role in the movie in exchange for a $10,000 pledge. Finally, create your Kickstarter page and begin to get the word out about your project. If folks believe in your project, they pledge funds to help. Only when your goal is met do the funds become available. According to Kickstarter, 44 percent of all proposed projects have reached their goals. Over 91,000 backers pledged a total of $5.7 million to the Veronica Mars movie project. See you at the movies, marshmallows! Kickstarting Augusta — Since we are talking Kickstarter, I just want to give a quick shout out to Joe Stevenson. His old band, People Who Must, is currently funding a project to record a new album, “The Silver Screen EP.” It’s their first one in 14 years. If you want to help him, go to Kickstarter and search for him. Good luck, Joe! Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chieft rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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ERICJOHNSON

Ghostly Arrival

Paranormal Convention hopes to draw curious to hands-on experience Oddly enough, this weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dixie Ghostland ParaCon, a two-â&#x20AC;? day paranormal convention attended by some of the most recognized personalities in the field, began when Aiken business owner and event producer Mel Minitor stumbled across some Native American artifacts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I had presented to the Beaver Creek Tribe a very large shadow box filled with spearheads and various other artifacts that I found,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The head of Indian Affairs in the state of South Carolina came down, as did a guy from the U.S. Geological Service, and according to the guy using the ground penetrating radar, we found the Holy Grail of burial mounds.â&#x20AC;? Careful not to disturb the find, they marked the site with a grid pattern and did nothing more invasive than run over it with that ground penetrating radar. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when things got strange. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One of the girls had this app,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not all that convinced by the technology used by some of the paranormal investigators, but sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s using this app and says thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a woman here and some children. So they put three little spray dots down on the ground at those locations and, later, the ground penetrating radar found at those exact

spots what appears to be the graves of two small children and an adult woman.â&#x20AC;? Coincidence or evidence? Whatever your take on the paranormal, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of those head scratchers that keeps the door open at least a crack. Because this was more or less the genesis of the event, Minitor and representatives of Haunted Entertainment, the company co-â&#x20AC;? producing the event, are using the convention to help raise money to preserve this particular burial mound. During the event, Native American chiefs are going to do a ceremony and then they are going to allow people to participate in a ghost hunt around the burial mound. It is one of four ghost hunts scheduled for the convention, which starts at 10:30 a.m. Saturday, July 27, at Horse Creek Banquet Hall on Highway 1 in between Augusta and Aiken. For more information, visit their website at lightstreamers.com/LSMedia/ Dixie-â&#x20AC;?Ghostland-â&#x20AC;?ParaCon.html. Other ghost hunts will be at the Carriage Inn, the Aiken County Museum and the unidentified home of a famous Aiken author, which is full of historic artifacts and, perhaps, former residents. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know every room of this house

personally,â&#x20AC;? Minitor says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have seen doors close out of nowhere and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not an air conditioner kicking in. There are people who claim they walk by the house and see an old lady looking out the dining room window, but that old lady has been dead 20 years.â&#x20AC;? Local paranormal investigator Josh Wilmoth, case manager for the South Coast Paranormal Society, says he and his organization were approached to speak at the event, but the cost â&#x20AC;&#x201D; $45, which includes the entertainment, speakers and ghost hunts, but not food â&#x20AC;&#x201D; was too high, especially since the group is attempting to put on a similar event for free. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely something weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking at doing at some point,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like Comic-â&#x20AC;?Con, where they can charge those prices and get away with it. C A R E E R

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still a taboo subject, especially here in the South. Charleston and Savannah have accepted it because they found out they can make money on it.â&#x20AC;? According to Minitor, however, the personalities are what will make the experience memorable. The weekend event includes appearances by author Andrea Perron, SyFyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Deep South Paranormal and Keith Age, who also produces several paranormal programs and is considering coming back in September to film a movie. And just to shake things up a bit, Minitor has a computer science professor coming in from Tennessee Tech to try to debunk some of the technology as well as two parapsychologists. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is going to make for a quite interesting event,â&#x20AC;? he says. E D U C A T I O N

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ERICJOHNSON

Good Catch

Competitive angler takes critical look at sport, ESPN

Though Hank Parker is a television personality known for his long-‐running fishing show and his impressive career as a tournament bass fisherman, he’s got a lot to say about tolerance and acceptance and getting along, which is undoubtedly why he was selected as the main speaker for the second annual Augusta Outdoor Expo, put on by Augusta Outdoor Ministries, an offshoot of Warren Baptist Church. As one of the all-‐time greats in a sport where competitive impulses sometimes obscure sportsmanship and good manners, Parker has become a critical voice in favor of community. “The first thing you’ve got to do is you’ve got to love fishing,” he says. “You’ve got to love the sport itself and then, if you want to incorporate your abilities as a tournament fisherman, that’s a whole different set of circumstances and that’s fine, but still — it’s the sport of fishing that you love, and that’s what’s important.” Speaking by phone after a long morning filming in North Carolina, Parker was candid about the sport’s shortcomings, always making it clear that the shortcomings come from the competitive bass fishermen, not from fishing in general. “That’s why it’s always very, very important to respect a person, whether that person is a crappie fisherman or a bass fisherman or a catfish fisherman or a bluegill fisherman,” he says. “It doesn’t matter — he’s a fisherman, and we all ought to respect him and we ought to respect the water and have camaraderie in the fact that we all have this thrill for the water.” Bass fishermen aren’t always known for being courteous. He likes to tell people that if you really pay close attention, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a two-‐year-‐old girl with a bluegill and a bobber or it’s a 90-‐year-‐old man catching a 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

catfish or everyone in between — every time someone catches a fish, they smile. “We can’t lose that,” he says. “That is so incredibly important, and don’t do anything ever to discredit or take away or feel that because you’re an accomplished bass fisherman that you’re better than the person who fishes for whatever. Don’t disrespect them by running too close to them with your boat and don’t do those rude things that are ‘in your face’ the way they were being promoted by ESPN. It was a bad deal. That’s not who we are. That’s not what we do.” More about the ESPN comment in a bit, but if you don’t follow professional bass fishing, there are a couple of things you need to know first about the professional bass fishing world. For years, it was dominated by the Bass Anglers Sportsman Society (BASS), an organization that’s now got up to 500,000 members. You’ve probably seen the blue and gold shield with the jumping bass stuck to the back window of an old pickup or on the windscreen of a fiberglass bass boat. That sticker and a subscription to Bassmaster Magazine were perks of membership. Along with articles detailing the most effective ways to catch bass, the magazine also gave you the latest information about the Bassmaster tournaments and the personalities that fished them, including Parker, who won the 1979 and 1989 Bassmaster Classic championships, as well as the coveted Angler of the Year before retiring after 17 years. For those who wanted even more detailed information about the tournament trail, you could subscribe to an additional publication, BASS Times. “Collectively, those two publications pretty much had a monopoly on all that wealth of information, and now

that’s not the case at all,” Parker says. “It’s wide open, and the reports come right down the internet, and of course all those fisherman are out trying to get as much publicity as they can to promote themselves in order to give their sponsors a value, so they’re willing and ready and able the minute they come off that water to grant anybody an interview.” Parker was one of the first professional anglers to create a brand, but it was a far different era. “Really and truly, when I tried to become a brand and started doing things that would help me build my brand, we didn’t have a lot of options,” he says. “There wasn’t a lot of money being paid at the time.” Unlike now, where the winner of one of the Elite Series tournaments takes home a cool $100,000, Parker’s wins would earn him $5,000 and a boat, which was difficult, when he was spending $30,000 a year to fish the tour. It was a good learning experience, however, though many anglers now don’t want to take that risk. “People say all the time — I’m going to go fish on the tournament circuit, but I’ve got to get my sponsors first,” he says. “But it doesn’t work that way. It’s like building a business. You’ve got to make that investment and work it and work it and work it.” Somewhere along the way, though, the sport changed, which brings us back to the ESPN comment. Parker says that while there have always been different personalities with different sets of backgrounds and values and points of view, there was always that sense of camaraderie until ESPN 25JULY2013

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purchased the organization. “Bass fishing is a neat sport in that there can be camaraderie even among the most fierce competitors because you never really compete against the other anglers,” he says. “You always compete against the lake and the fish. If I beat the lake, I’m going to win.” ESPN, however, had built an empire on personalities and attitudes, and when they got involved with BASS they felt like everyone needed an attitude. If you don’t have an attitude, the idea was, you’re not interesting. And if you’re not interesting, you don’t make money with sponsors. “All of a sudden they tried to create this rivalry and this attitude game that had never existed before,” he says. “There was a lot of encouragement by ESPN, by the rules and by all the people that were trying to create all this publicity, and that’s when fishing really changed.” Instead of beating the lake, anglers were trying to beat the pants off their competitors… and saying so in increasingly outrageous ways. Ironically, however, by trying to make the sport interesting to the audience they wanted to attract, they alienated much of the audience they already had. ESPN sold BASS two years ago, and while Parker says the new owners are working hard, “once you take the pavement off the road, it takes a little bit of time to repave it.” Though he still loves to fish and considers himself as competitive as ever, Parker has no desire to get back into the tournament arena, choosing instead to continue filming his long-‐running fishing show on TV. “My objective every time they turn the television cameras on and I grab a fishing rod is that I want this to be fun and I want to do some recruiting,” he says. “Fishing is a sport that will allow you to communicate with your parents. It will allow parents to talk about intimate things with your children. It just creates that environment for smiles, and when you’re smiling you’re a lot happier than when you’re caught up in a video game.”

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ERICJOHNSON

Now What?

Photo by: Evan Grantski

The implications of all that rain

By now, just about everyone is sick of hearing about the rain, the river and the flooding. Sick of hearing about it. Sick of reading about it. Sick of seeing it. But just because the river is receding and the photos have stopped popping up on Facebook doesn’t mean the story’s over. No matter how easy it might be to go back to forgetting that Augusta has a river, the implications of the record summer rains will continue to be felt in ways most of us can’t imagine, from the pocketbook to the landscape to the very makeup of the natural world around us. Welcome to a new Augusta. Walking down to the waterline from her office next to the Boathouse, Savannah Riverkeeper Tonya Bonitatibus kneels down and dips her hand into the water. Out in the channel, the current is swift, almost angry. Here, beside the flooded ramp, though, the water is still. Beneath the surface you can see the top of a wall. The ramp itself is deeper, obscured by the dark water. When it’s dry, the wall keeps the bank from collapsing on the boat ramp. Her fingers barely touch the submerged grass beside it, and the grass scrapes off the surface of the ground like slivers of confetti. “All the grass is dying, and it’s taken us years to get this grass to grow,” she says. 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“The reason we’ve been trying so hard to get this grass to grow is because it’s the only thing holding the bank together.” She fears that when the river finally recedes back into its banks, especially if it falls suddenly, the weight of the water-‐ saturated ground will push the wall onto the ramp. “It’s been a long time since this river has come up and stayed at this level for such a long period of time,” she says. “It’s still going to be a couple of weeks, and it’s just going to keep soaking in and soaking in, and once the water comes back down, you’ve got all that weight behind these metal walls, you’ve got all the weight underneath the cement, and once this starts pulling back out again, and once all that water no longer has that water on the other side of it, that water wants to go somewhere.” The mud left behind, she says, is just part of living on the river. But this other stuff is more complicated. Recreation Director Robert Levine is experiencing the same thing. Though he says he doesn’t expect the water to do too much damage along the Riverwalk, Lock and Dam Park has experienced a significant amount of water. Both the park and the boat ramp are closed. “Lock and Dam Park is completely underwater,” he says. “Several trees have

come down and the drinking fountain has been upended.” The park could be closed 30 to 45 more days as the water recedes and crews begin to assess the damage, which includes some issues like the ones Bonitatibus worries about around her boat ramp. “My understanding is there are some sheet piling walls that might get washed out behind them or undermined,” he says. “We’ll see what happens when the water goes down. We’ve had a really brief conversation with the engineering department, but we’ll need their help through the inspections.” As for the cost of the clean up and repairs, Levine says it’s still too early to give a thorough accounting. “In the day to day, with a little debris here and there, we would just manage with our regular crews,” he says. “Clean up of the Riverwalk might just be done with our regular crews on an overtime basis if we’re running out of time or we want to get something done more quickly. It’s really going to play out more in the next five or six or seven weeks.” Though heavy rains washed material into the pathways of several of the inland parks, causing some disruptions and the cancelation of many recreation league sporting events, he says these disruptions

were more routine in nature. “I don’t think there were any major washouts, but more of the type of thing that we’ll have to take care of with our regular maintenance crews,” he says. “It may require some additional materials, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Bonitatibus expects several of the down river boat ramps to be destroyed by the flood. Not only does the river get smaller below the lock and dam, the velocity picks up, especially around the ramp in Jackson, South Carolina. “I talked to some folks that were down there, and you can’t get within a mile of the boat ramp by road,” she says. “The river is already a mile back because it’s so flat back there.” Though most people are focusing on the destructive nature of the high water, Bonitatibus is careful to point out that such a narrow outlook is only considering part of the story. “It’s great for the river,” she says of the flooding. “It’s just what it does to the manmade structures that we put in place.” Great for the river? This? Oscar Flite, vice president for research at the Southeastern Natural Sciences Academy at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park, says the high water is going to cause significant changes to the natural world 25JULY2013

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that will be noticed in the short term as well as the long term. It’s neither good nor bad, he says. It’s just a change, a very tangible example of cause and effect. Cause and effect is a big thing in Flite’s world. Because the rising Savannah River starts pushing back up Butler Creek when it reaches a certain level, the gates at the levee were closed. Because they were closed, everything that drains through Phinizy Ditch and Beaver Dam Ditch and Rocky Creek and Butler Creek is all flowing into Phinizy Swamp and holding there, forming a kind of reservoir. So much water is being held in the swamp that the iconic boardwalk leading to the nature park is under water, something Flite has never seen in his 12 years with the organization. Because the water doesn’t have anywhere to go, it’s actually becoming very stagnant, since there is only inflow. And because the water in the swamp is at a standstill and is spread across the floodplain, the dissolved oxygen is going down because all of the bacteria are now eating all of that brand new organic material, which robs the water of oxygen. It’s that dissolved oxygen concentration 25JULY2013

in the Savannah Harbor that is one of the major issues being dealt with by regulatory agencies and environmental groups, and it’s kind of ironic that the swamp is dealing with the same issue. “It’s a neat dichotomy on either side of the levee right now,” Flite says. “You’ve got good flow on one side and you’ve got no flow on the other side of the levee, and you’ve got decent dissolved oxygen concentration and you’ve got zero dissolved oxygen concentration.” And the simple fact of adding more organic material to the food web is going to cause a big pulse in the food web itself. Think about a largemouth bass, Flite says. A largemouth bass sits high up in the food web, but it still relies on the base of the food web, which is that organic material. The organic material goes into the water and something like an insect eats the organic material. The smaller fish will eat that aquatic insect and the bass will eat the smaller fish. Remember the old woman who swallowed a fly? It’s kind of like that. “So just simply having more organic material in the river, which is now coming from the floodplain, is bringing a lot more food into the system,” Flite says. “It actually will have a cascading effect

eventually on the whole ecosystem, so you could potentially see more fish in the system. Obviously, it’s not going to be instantaneous, but at some point if there are more aquatic insects, there are going to be more small fish and there are eventually going to be more largemouth bass.” Rivers typically go through such pulses, Flite says, but because the Savannah River has been dammed and managed for so long, the pulses have occurred less often and less dramatically. “If you put more water out on the floodplain, you’re going to grow more vegetation once that water goes back into the channels,” he says. “The dynamic of the plants will change in the floodplain. If there’s more water on the floodplain, you’re going to grow more wetland plants. As the water goes back in, you’ll have more upland plants.” These pulses not only shake things up, some species actually require them. The bald cypress, for example, needs to have its seeds moved around by river water. So what are the practical implications for the area? “For the Butler Creek floodplain, it’s probably going to be very, very green next spring,” Flite says. “It’s going to be

very good for the floodplain. There’s going to be more vegetation than anyone’s ever seen, probably.” Another interesting thing that’s going to happen — when the gates finally open and the water recedes, Butler Creek’s channel will likely have changed from the force of the flowing water, something Bonitatibus expects to happen on the Savannah as well. “This river has been traditionally known as one of the most treacherous rivers in the United States to navigate,” she says. “Not because of the rocks — rocks stay in place and you can figure out where the rocks are. It’s because of sandbars and trees. They don’t stay in place, and this river is loaded with them.” With so many trees heading downriver right now, navigation is dangerous, which is why the ramps are closed and the fire department is discouraging river traffic. But the shifted sandbars increase the potential for problems in the future. “When you’re flying in your wakeboard board in an area where you used to have plenty of water, you’re going to hit sand,” Bonitatibus says. And that’s another cause and effect. Because the river has been relatively constant for so long, people have AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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forgotten that the river needs to be respected. “We’ve lost that touch with nature, which makes people do stupid things,” she says. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed, but I think we’ll really be lucky if we get out of this without somebody drowning. You’ve got people who think they know what they’re doing, but I liken it to when there’s an inch of snow in Augusta. They’re just not used to it.” She also says that, politically, it’s important for those impacted by the river flood to document it, because the lake people aren’t feeling the negative effects of the policy changes she says have allowed the lake to fill up to the level where the Corps of Engineers had no choice but to let the water out. “This is the other side of when we don’t pay attention and we let one part of our basin scream,” she says. “Yes, it’s rained more. Yes, we should be in flood. But we should probably not be flooding for 30 days straight.”

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SHOW ME THE MONEY! By Daniel A. Finan / Edited by Will Shortz

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Holiday attraction at a mall Inaugurated Fame Astronomical distances: Abbr. Eventually Yiddish laments Faunus’s Greek counterpart Beef Ukr., e.g., once Certain lap dogs, informally ___ moons French film award The shortest one has only two verses It appears at the top of a page Instruments played with mallets Bit of corporate attire Quotation sources, once Unrecoverable investment expenses More swanky Confab Robert of “The Sopranos” Draft status Trying to pull a fast one Certain Beef Corp. V.I.P.’s

DOWN 1 Pellet propeller 2 University town named after a Penobscot chief 3 Some liquid assets 4 Ones unlikely to write memoirs? 5 Lacoste offering 6 Gets around 7 #2s, e.g. 8 Director Lee 9 Patient’s liability 10 Wilson of “The Internship” 11 Small role in “Austin Powers” movies 12 Ticket to the World Series 13 En ___ 14 Source of the line “Thy money perish with thee” 15 Melted Popsicle, e.g. 16 Spot on a demand curve 17 Fully blacken 18 Half-‐kiss? 24 Musical with the song

26 28 Fame Texas 32 34 38 39 40 41 43 44 46 47 49 51 53 56 58 61 62 63 65 66 67 68 69 70 73 74 75 77 79 80 82 84 86 88 90 94 96 98 99 100 101 103 104 106 107 109 111 112

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“Not a peep!” Fool What best friends keep Church section Song classic “___ to Be Unhappy” Kids’ outdoor game Baptism, e.g. Glowing Head across the Atlantic Big, in ads Ancient Greek coins Convinced It’s a legal thing Designer Mizrahi See 62-‐Down Australian beer brand With 58-‐Down, financial topic of 2012-‐13 Feudal figures Horrifies Bar selections ___ alike Texans are part of it, in brief Certain bank deposits Key business figure AA or AAA, maybe Opera part Disavow South of 79-‐Down? See 77-‐Down Briefing spot Warhol’s specialty Squirts Without a contract Crazies Shoulder bone Lead-‐in to 88-‐Down Danish bread Plays miniature golf Constellation next to Taurus Unionize? Social level Bottle unit Arizona sights Lamblike Ship’s keel, e.g. Radio station on TV Automaker since 1974 [as written]

PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

ACROSS 1 City south of West Palm 5 Old man 9 Give for free, slangily 13 Heckle or Jeckle of cartoons 19 Stoker who created Dracula 20 Womb, jocularly 21 Painful boo-‐boo 22 Winter stash, of a sort 23 Investing in a growth company 25 High-‐risk investments 27 Hardly parade-‐worthy, say 28 Antics 29 Ltd., in Lille 30 Hanging piece 31 Like one trying to hit a piñata, often 33 Pronged, as an electrical plug 34 Norwegian P.M. Stoltenberg 35 Vardalos of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” 36 Buttonhole, e.g. 37 Big picture: Abbr. 38 Con target 39 Shocked 42 Bolognese bride 45 Sprint, e.g. 48 It should have no effect 50 “No bid” 52 Not so smooth 54 Without 55 Somewhat 57 One-‐third of Neapolitan ice cream: Abbr. 59 Like the right third of Ireland’s flag 60 Announcer Hall 61 Mrs. Capp and others 62 Add-‐on features 64 “Cómo ___?” 65 Money … or a hint to how six crossings in this puzzle are to be represented, superimposing one letter over another 68 Ora pro ___ 71 Bully’s coercive comeback 72 Places for picks, informally 73 Admonishment to a puppy 76 Ticks off 78 Gospel singer Winans 79 “That’s nuthin’!” 80 Bead maker? 81 Request from a guest over an apartment intercom

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D A P T I M O U P T O N L A N E S A C T M O R E I T O N B A L T G L O R E S M E B A I T I N E M M O R E T R A A O N M E R O K I R E S E S T

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Bike and Car Show Get your motor running at the CSRA Bike and Car Show Saturday, July 27, at Augusta Harley Davidson. Prizes will be awarded for the top three cars and bikes, best in show and best paint. There will also be a special category for classic bikes. Winners will be announced at 2:30 p.m. There will also be food, beverages, customization vendors, a 1940s pin-up girl contest at 1 p.m. and music by the Psycho DeVilles. $20 per car and $10 per bike. Call 706-651-0444 or visit augustahd.com

Arts

What’s in the Box? Beads and Seeds is Thursday, August 1, at 10 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Participants will learn about southern craft and create a work inspired by the exhibition “Tradition/Innovation” with help from a surprise in the box. Registration required. Museum family members and parents are free; non-members are $4. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Dollar Dog Days runs through the month of August at the Augusta Museum of History. All month, admission is $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Blast From the Past is on display at Augusta Museum of History to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Live Country Music at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1999 Scott Road, is every Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. Admission is $5. Call 706-790-8040.

Local Legends is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Maxwell Morning Book Club meets Thursday, July 25, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Maxwell Branch Library. “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout will be discussed. Visit maxwellbookclub.worldpress.com.

Protect and Serve, an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706- 737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Delightful Decanters is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Theater

Corks & Canvas painting classes for adults 21 and over are held every Tuesday and Thursday night beginning at 7 p.m. and last 2-3 hours. Painting materials provided. Bring your own wine and clothes to paint in. $30; $25 with military I.D. Pre-registration required. Call 706-868-0990 or visit pstudio.com.

Music

Exhibitions

Soul Explosion is Saturday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Special guest is Tony Award-winner Melba Moore. Call 706-7228454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Mascaro’s Studio Artists exhibition is Wednesday, July 31, through Friday, August 30, at the Kroc Center. Showcasing the work of artists from Mascaro’s Studio & Gallery, artists include David Mascaro, Sharon Fausnight, Linda Lavigne, Miriam Katz, Linda Hardy, Alford Yong Ae, Gwen Urbanik, Terry Smith, Bonnie Lowery and Nancy Tussey. Free. Call 706364-KROC or visit krocaugusta.org. Exhibition for artists Cathy Armstrong, Linda Hardy and Susan Porterfield will be on display through August 30 at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Free. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. “Capturing the Canal” Art Show will exhibit through July 30 at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-KROC or visit krocaugusta.org. Augusta’s African-American Pioneers will exhibit through August 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. The exhibit will feature many of the personalities that make Augusta special, from Lawrence Fishburne to James Brown, the Pilgrim Health and Life Insurance Company to the home of John and Rosa Tutt, and captures much of Augusta’s African-American heritage. Visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. The Godfather of Soul James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Literary

246th Army Jazz Band will perform Thursday, July 25, at 7 p.m. at the Verandah at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park Series. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org.

Saturday Special: Drum Circle is Saturday, July 27, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Presented by Not Gaddy from IDrum2U. There will be refreshments. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Courtland Saxon & Desire will perform Sunday, July 28, at 8 p.m. as part of the Candlelight Jazz series. Participants are invited to bring their own seating and picnics. $6; free for children under 13. Visit gardencityjazz. com. The Ken Gabriel Band performs Monday, July 29, at 7 p.m. at the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage at Hopelands Garden in Aiken as part of the Hopelands Summer Concert Series. Free. Call 803-643-4661 or visit facebook.com/experienceaiken. Thursday Night Jazz at the Willcox takes place every Thursday at the Willcox in Aiken. Visit thewillcox.com. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364- 4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

“Social Security” is Friday, July 26, Saturday, July 27, and Thursday, August 1-Saturday, August 3, with dinner at 7 p.m. and the show beginning at 8 p.m. at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre. $30-$45. Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com/theatre.php. “Footloose the Musical” is Friday, July 26, and Saturday, July 27, at 7:30 p.m. at Greenbrier High School. The performance is presented by the Augusta Jr. Players. Tickets are $12 and $8 for children under 13. Call 706-826-4707 or visit augustaplayers.org. Acting Workshop is Saturday, July 27, from noon-2 p.m. at Le Chat Noir. Professor Douglas Joiner will run down the finer points of Michael Chekhov’s acting method. $25 for non-students, $20 for students and free to cast members of Le Chat Noir’s production of “Les Miserables.” Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. Auditions for “Unbroken: A Musical” are going on now by appointment. Producers are looking for four African-American male actors/singers, ages 17-40, and two male actors. Rehearsals have already begun for the show, which will be performed in early October. To set up an appointment for an audition, email Director Kris Byrd at unbroken.musical@gmail.com.

Dance

Augusta Christian Singles holds dances every Saturday night, beginning at 8 p.m., with free dance lessons at 7 p.m. Dances are held at Ballroom Dance Center, 525 Grand Slam Drive (off Evans to Locks Road) in Evans. $10. Admission includes light meal or heavy refreshments, desserts, soft drinks and coffee in an alcohol/smoke free environment, and music includes country, shag, oldies and more. Dress is casual (jeans are fine). All singles 18 years old and up are welcome. Visit christiandances.org. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek and 25JULY2013

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Wallace libraries. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 (Euchee Creek), 706-722- 6275 (Wallace) or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-394-5535 or 706-399-2477. Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be on the following dates and locations, from 8 a.m.-3 p.m.: Thursday, July 25, at the Jenkins County Hospital; Friday, July 26, at the Lamar Medical Center; Monday, July 29, at Willis Memorial Hospital; Tuesday, July 30, at Internal Medicine Partners; Wednesday, July 31, at SRS Area B; and Thursday, Augusta 1 at University Hospital. Free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706-7744149 or visit universityhealth.org. Introduction to Infant CPR is Thursday, July 25, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. This class provides an opportunity to learn and practice infant CPR on mannequins and also learn other aspects of

Medical Center and is a free weekly support group for new mothers. All new moms and newborns are welcome. The Health System will supply an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant/Educator /Perinatal Nurse to answer your questions and offer resources. Call 706-721-8283 or visit grhealth.org. Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:45-9:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642- 7631.

Flix

Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email sbeasley@ augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html.

Outdoor Movie Night is Saturday, July 27, at dusk at Reed Creek Park. A movie under the stars at Reed Creek Park in which participants can bring blankets, beach chairs and snacks to watch “Antz” on the big screen. The movie will start at dusk, but come early to stake your ground and enjoy the pre-movie dance contest. $2. Call 706210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Family Movie Matinee is Wednesday, July 31, at 1 p.m. at the Evans Branch Library Theater. “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” will be shown. Free. Call 706-3121358 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-members, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Special Events

“California Gems” Tasting Seminar is Friday, July 26, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. Harriss Cottingham of Republic National will lead an examination of a number of California’s great classic wines, which will also be tasted, along with some very appealing “new wines.” $15. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every first and third Monday at 6 p.m. and every second and fourth Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). The class will explain some of the causes of vascular disease as well as early warning signs. There will be information about changes you can implement today to prevent heart attack and stroke. Vascular diagnostic exams as well as advanced metabolic and genetic lab work are offered to develop a personalized plan for you to prevent disease. Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org.

CSRA Bike and Car Show is Saturday, July 27, at Augusta Harley Davidson. Prizes will be awarded for the top three cars and bikes, best in show and best paint, and there is also a special category for classic bikes. There will be food, beverages, customization vendors, a 1940s pin-up girl contest at 1 p.m. and music by the Psycho DeVilles. $20 per car and $10 per bike. Visit augustahd.com.

Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Dixie Ghostland ParaCon is Saturday, July 27, and Sunday, July 28, at the Horse Creek Banquet Hall, 1897 Jefferson Davis Hwy., Warrenville, S.C. Visit lighstream-media.com. Augusta Outdoor Expo is Saturday, July 27, from 10 a.m.9 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. There will be over 100 vendors, exhibits, a guest speaker, door prizes and more. $10-$20. Visit augustaoutdoorexpo.com. Karaoke Night is Saturday, July 27, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. It’s Freestyle Night, so participants can choose music from any genre. Ashley Brown is the guest emcee. Free. Call 706-312-1358 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. First Thursday is Thursday, August 1, from 5-8 p.m. at the Central Avenue, Kings Way and Troupe Street intersection on the Hill in Augusta. There will be entertainment by Bill Karp, free tours of Fire Station #7, free childcare at the Hill Baptist Church and discounts in the shops. Call 706-733-1788. Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through October 24 from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking and fitness demos, as well as education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:306:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through November 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com. Wine Tastings are the first Friday and third Thursday of each month from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $5. Call 803-279-9522. 25JULY2013

infant safety. Pre-registration required. Free. Call 706-722-9011 or visit universityhealth.org. Weekend Childbirth Education is Friday, July 26, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, July 27, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at the University Hospital Education Center, third floor. Also included is a follow-up evening at the W.G. Watson, M.D., Women’s Center at University Hospital for a tour, question and answer session, and review. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-9011 or visit universityhealth.org. Childcare and Babysitting Safety is Saturday, July 27, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital. Course content includes playtime, hand-washing, telephone calls, child feeding, diapering, sleep time and providing emergency care. This one-day clinic is designed for students ages 11-14. $30. Call 706481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Fresh Start Smoking Cessation is Tuesday, July 30, from 6-7 p.m. at the University Hospital cafeteria. Sponsored by the American Cancer Society, with University Hospital instructors, this class will help people give up all forms of tobacco. Four-week sessions are offered each month. Registration is required. Free. Call 706-774-8094 or visit universityhealth.org. The Daddy Class is Tuesday, July 30, from 7-9 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. This class is for dads only. Taught by an experienced dad, this class talks about the joys and challenges of fatherhood, and ways to support mom. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally-challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; nonmembers, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Eating Disorders Anonymous meets Tuesdays at 7 p.m. at Metropolitan Community Church, 557 Greene St. Call 706-871-1384 or visit edaaugusta.com. Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509. Alcoholics Anonymous meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org.

Moms Connection is every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Regents AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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First Thursday is Thursday, August 1, from 5-8 p.m. at the Central Avenue, Kings Way and Troupe Street intersection on the Hill in Augusta. There will be entertainment by Bill Karp, free tours of Fire Station #7, free childcare at the Hill Baptist Church and discounts in the shops. Call 706-733-1788

Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.

Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636.

Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-7850006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/behavioral-healthservices.

Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors- hospital.net. Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706-721- 8299 or visit gru.edu. Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Celiac Disease Support Group. Open to anyone who has celiac disease, is gluten intolerant or on a gluten free diet. Group meets on the third Tuesday of each month from 7-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in Room 120 of the Summerville Professional Building adjacent to the Hospital. Visit trinityofaugusta.com. The Chatterbox Club of Augusta, a support group for individuals and their families who have experienced a laryngectomy, meets the second Sunday of each month (except June and July) at 3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room. Call 706481-7359 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org.

20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu. GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855- 2419.

English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Bereavement Grief Support for Adults meets the first Wednesday of each month from noon-1 p.m. At Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ cafeteria dining room A. Registration is required. Call 803-641-5389.

Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to the public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org.

Alzheimer’s Support Group meets the second Tuesday of each month from 11 a.m.-noon at the Cumberland Village Library in Aiken. Visit aikenregional.com.

Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@ cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org.

Education

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Your Tech, Your Way Workshop is Monday, July 29, from 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Participants can bring their laptops or portable devices — tablets, smartphones, e-readers, etc. — and receive one-on-one assistance from library staff and volunteers. Registration required. Free. Call 706772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustaga.org.

Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Sports-Outdoors

Herbs and Wild Edibles is Saturday, July 27, from 2-3 p.m. at Mistletoe State Park. Par ticipants will not only learn about a lot of wild edibles, but will get a chance to sample lots of tasty treats. $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks/ Mistletoe. Wild Gourmet Dinner is Sunday, July 28, from 2-3:30 p.m. at Mistletoe State Park. Every dish must contain at least one wild ingredient. Nothing to bring? Come anyway; par ticipants will learn to identify safe, natural foods and enjoy tasting the treats nature provides. $5 parking. Call 706-5410321 or visit gastateparks/Mistletoe. I’m Possible Training Summer Basketball Camp is Monday, July 29, through Thursday, August 1, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Augusta Christian Schools. The camp is open to boys and girls from 4th-12th grades. Players are split appropriately into their own age/skill levels. $175 registration includes lunch, T-shir t and one month of online training. Call 706-627-4528 or visit possibletraining.com. Augusta GreenJackets home games are as follows: Monday, July 29-Wednesday, July 31, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Rome Braves at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com. Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through October 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com. Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; non-members $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.com. Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of Nor th Augusta. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy. org. Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

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Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Raeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706- 556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries. org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shor ts and a T-shir t. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Par ticipants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in Nor th Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at For t Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and WednesdayFriday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, firstserved basis, and par ticipants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride star ting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit for tgordon.com. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at For t Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit for tgordon.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. 25JULY2013

by Andrew Bergman

,WN[ Ĺ&#x2013; #WIWUV &KPPGT R O ^ 5JQY R O Directed by Richard Justice Featuring $GVV[ 9CNRGTV Ĺ&#x2013; 5VGXG 9CNRGTV Ĺ&#x2013; #XGT[ 8KNNKPGU Ĺ&#x2013; 6GF 0GYVQP Ĺ&#x2013; )GPG *QYCTF Ĺ&#x2013; -C[ )TQUU Two married art dealers struggle with a visit from the wifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goody-goody sister, her uptight CPA husband, and eccentric sour-ball-spitting mother who are there to save their collegestudent daughter from running wild. The play is a hoot, and better yet a sophisticated, even civilized hoot. This show is full of laughs and good humor! â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The New York Post

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TICKETS

Civilians: $43 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $40 Active-Duty E6 & below: $35 | Show only: $25

For reservations, call 706-793-8552 Not recommended for children. Some adult humor. Produced in cooperation with the Army Entertainment Program and Samuel French, Inc.

AUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Â INDEPENDENT Â VOICE Â SINCE Â 1989 Â

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Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-7228878. BlazeSpor ts Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids-Teens

Just Dance! Tournament is Thursday, July 25, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Dance for fun and to win prizes. Best for ages 11-17. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Death by Chocolate is Thursday, July 25, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Eat, drink and play with chocolate at this event. Open to rising 6-12 graders. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Sidewalk Games Family Night is Thursday, July 25, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Come to the side parking lot for sidewalk chalk, games and a performance by the Twin Dragons Mar tial Ar ts Demo Team. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Touch-a-Truck is Friday, July 26, at 11 a.m. at the Nor th Augusta Branch Library. Get up close and personal with a backhoe and another big rig provided by the South Carolina Depar tment of Transpor tation. Free. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Duke” will be shown Friday, July 26, at 1 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. When a war veteran’s dog requires the attention of a veterinarian, the veteran leaves it anonymously at an animal clinic. Soon after, the community seeks to find the veteran and reunite him with his dog. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Puppy Love” will be shown Friday, July 26, at 3 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. A single mom lets her little girl, Caitlin, adopt a big, unruly shelter dog named Jake and he ends up trashing her home. Then a ball-player shows up, claiming Jake is his dog, but Caitlin wants to keep Jake. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. The Classics Cafe: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is Sunday, July 28, from 2-3 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” will be shown Sunday, July 28, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” will be shown Monday, July 29, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Super Surprise Skype is Monday, July 29, from 3-3:30 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Susan DelRosario of tutor.com demonstrates the free tutoring services available to ECGRL cardholders. RSVP Required; Groups (especially camps and summer programs) welcome. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Silent Library is Monday, July 29, at 7 p.m. at the Nor th Augusta Branch Library. Free. How quiet can you be while given crazy activities to try? First person to laugh is out. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib. org. 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

MarioKar t for Kids is Tuesday, July 30, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Play for fun or enter the tournament. Tournament top finishers win prizes. Best for ages 5-10. Registration required. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” will be shown Tuesday, July 30, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Officer Bethune will read stories and talk about safety Wednesday, July 31, from 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Free. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org. Touch-a-Truck is Wednesday, July 31, at 2 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. See, touch and hear all kinds of vehicles from Public Safety, Public Works, the ABBE Bookmobile and more. Free. Call 803642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” will be shown Wednesday, July 31, at 2 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. The Classics Cafe — Canterbury Tales: The Miller’s Tale is Wednesday, July 31, from 6-7 p.m. at the Headquar ters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Post It Mural for Teens is Thursday, August 1, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Help create ar twork for the library with Post It notes. Open to rising 6-12 graders. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. YA After-Hours Par ty is Thursday, August 1, from 5-7:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. This event is for all YA Summer Reading finishers and YA Summer Reading volunteers. This event will include food, games, crafts, music and prizes. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Paws to Read is every Tuesday in July from 11 a.m.-noon at the Aiken Branch Library. Struggling readers in grades K-5 can register to read to a trained therapy dog who loves to listen to stories. Registered children will have a weekly 20-minute session with a dog and handler. Pre-registration and a signed permission slip is required for this event. Stop by the first floor circulation desk to register. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706595-7777, email mzupan@hickory-hill.org or visit hickory-hill.org. DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in July are “Explorers of Mauna Kea” at 8 p.m. and “Digistar Laser Fantasy” at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-6413654. Georgia Connections Academy, a free vir tual public char ter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit connectionsacademy.com/georgia-school/ enrollment/home.aspx. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, Nor th Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. 25JULY2013

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Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

non- member prices. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov.

Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Creative Ar ts offered at the Family Y of Nor th Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; non-members, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese mar tial ar ts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-3940590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html.

Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquar ters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for

25JULY2013

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s depar tment of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; nonmembers, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:3011:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo. com.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at Nor th Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in Nor th Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706733-9491.

Seniors

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Mudpuppies, an ar ts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Silversneakers strength and range of movement class is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday

Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 23

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at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

706-394-0590 visit augustameditation.com/taichi. html.

Computer Classes for Seniors are taught at The Kroc Center Mondays and Thursdays. Registration required. Visit krocaugusta.org.

Dancin’ with the Young at Heart, an event geared toward those ages 50 and older although anyone is welcome, is each Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the Aiken DAV. In addition to dancing to Yesterday’s Sounds, there will also be prize drawings, snacks and drinks. $6. Call 803-292-3680.

Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. $27 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers members. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. $31 for 10 tickets; free for SilverSneakers Swipe Card members. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:306:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silver Sneakers, a senior exercise class, meets each Wednesday and Friday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta. org. Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday 9-10 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. and on Fridays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Tai Chi for Seniors is held 11 a.m.-noon every Thursday at Augusta Jewish Community Center. Call

Hobbies

Qigong classes are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4 p.m. and Saturdays at 10 a.m. Ages 13 and up. $10 for residents and members; $12 for others. Bingo at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1999 Scott Road, is at 1:30 p.m. on Sundays, and at 6 p.m. on Mondays and Thursdays. Call 706-7908040. Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364- 5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at Nor th Augusta Church of Christ on W. Mar tintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org. Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706495-3219.

Spiritual

“Hands of the Spirit” is Friday, July 26, Saturday, July 27, Friday, August 2, and Saturday, August 3, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. This musical story of passion, vision and art is adapted from the book “In the Hand of the Holy Spirit — the Visionary Art of J.B. Murray” by Mary Padgelek. $15-$20. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteer

DECLASSIFIED

Youth Day in the Park is Saturday, July 27, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at Wood Park on Parkway Dr. in Augusta. Volunteers are needed for setup, to serve food and to supervise inflatables and games. Call 706-737-9829.

24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Dogwood Park Spay and Neuter Clinic, a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization, offers volunteer oppor tunities for those interested in helping animals in need. Applications available at Dogwood Park, 6100 Columbia Rd. Grovetown, GA, 30813. Email info@dogwoodparkclinic.com. Hospice volunteers needed at Alliance Hospice to provide comfor t, companionship and emotional suppor t to patients and families, as well as assisting with chores and clerical duties and using other talents to benefit patients. Training provided. Call 706-447-2461, email mwhite@ alliancehospice.com or visit alliancehospice.com. Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional.com. The Georgia Regents University Cancer Center is looking for volunteers, especially those who are cancer survivors or caregivers. Adult program for those 18 and older; after-school program open to high-school juniors and seniors who are 17. Applications available at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. Visit gru.edu/ volunteer or call 706-7213596. The Greater Augusta Ar ts Council offers volunteer oppor tunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Ar ts in the Hear t, First Friday and special concer ts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaar ts. com. Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@msa-corp.com. MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic suppor t and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held Monday-Thursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy.com. Miracle League Baseball, held by the Family Y, is looking for volunteers. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org. Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@uh.org.

Have you Aerated your yard?

Reed Creek Park offers oppor tunities to volunteers interested in collecting impor tant data each month on the health of a local stream for the state of Georgia. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs- pruitt.com.

Elsewhere

Karate is offered at The Family Y of Thomson 130 Center and Family Y of Nor th Jefferson for all skill levels. Members, $43 a month; non-members, $63 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy. org. Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays. Call 706465-2656. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org. Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m. Fridays for preschoolers. Call 706-554-3277 or visit ecgrl. org. Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m. Fridays. Call 478-589-7825 or visit ecgrl.org. Gymnastics Lessons offered at the Family Y of Thomson Center for a combination of age and ability levels. Members, $43 per month; nonmembers, $63 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Ar t and Music Classes offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for all ages. Members, $25 per month; non-members, $35 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Frida

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No Wimps Allowed “Just” a mom? Hardly!

on your mind. Twenty-‐four-‐seven. A few times recently and many times over the past 20 or so years, I’ve heard it referred to as “just being a mom.” As if having kids is a good fall back. In case this job or that career doesn’t work out or is too stressful. Let me tell you something: if your current job stresses you out or seems too hard, and you’re considering “just” having a kid, buckle up. Parenting will completely blow your mind. I’m not a chronic worrier. We don’t helicopter parent. We always ask our kids to try first, and if they still can’t, we’ll help. I often wonder if I’m too laid back with things — like, am I missing something? Should I be more concerned about this? Still, every day, I wonder if I’m screwing them up somehow. It might not be anything big. Did they get enough fruit with lunch? Should I buy organic milk or is that too obsessive? Those are the Daily Things. Not enough to cause true anxiety, but thought-‐ provoking nonetheless. There are Medium Things, too. Just this week, The Boy has been in trouble for sneaking extra screen time playing the one game worse than Candy Crush — Minecraft. I try to limit them, without setting a timer or anything, to a small amount of time playing games, hunched I didn’t go to the University of Georgia to with the intention of getting my over those little devices. He’d play all day MRS degree. I wasn’t really thinking about a husband or babies for most if I let him. Electronics and technology of my time there. When asked what I wanted to do with my life, though, are inevitable, but so is the “you’ll rot the answer was always the same. “I hope to stay home when my babies are your brain” lecture. It’s so easy to let an little. I want to be a mom.” entire day slip away, having played games Some people got it, but many replied with, “That’s all?” and watched movies, without stepping Looking back, I didn’t completely get it myself then, and I won’t fully outside once. understand for many more years, but there’s no “that’s all” about it. He loves the game. I dislike it because It doesn’t matter whether you stay home full-‐time or also work outside of it renders my child a zombie. It allows for the home, parenting is a full-‐time gig. There isn’t any paid vacation, and creativity and organizational skills. It’s still sick leave is laughable. Even if someone else has your children, they’re still a video game. I’d just like to see some

balance. Will he still be able to entertain himself outside? Of course he will. No amount of reason or logic prevents these thoughts, though. When you add them all together, the Daily and Medium Things can be rather overwhelming. They’re only part of it, though. Enter, the Major Stuff. When The Boy was just five weeks old, he got sick. He was so sick he needed surgery. For a day or so, we wondered whether we should take him to the doctor. After that, we contemplated and eventually visited the ER. There’s nothing like watching a nurse trying to insert an IV into your especially small and now dehydrated baby. When Dr. Howell, who is part of the beyond talented pediatric surgical team here in Augusta, took him back for surgery, I worried. He was in excellent hands. Nothing prepares you for the Major Stuff. It’s not that a job outside the home can’t elicit the same level of passion. There’s simply something about caring for another that takes it to a whole new level. For now, I’ll make them eat their broccoli and wear sunscreen. I hope I deal with the Medium Things well enough. We haven’t even reached the Major Stuff like dating and leaving for college. Don’t get me started on puberty and driving. I like “just” being a mom. I take full advantage of happy hour and occasionally sneak a coffee break. Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. Wimps need not apply.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her

husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

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Michael Johnson

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Tiffany and Curtis Justice with Kelly Ray at Robbieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Bar.

SIGHTINGS

Aubrey Hudman, William Langstraat, Ashley Sandel and Matthew Peterson at Limelite Cafe.

Celeb, Morgan and Lucas Pillow at Buffalo Wild Wing.

SIGHTINGS

Matt Calcutt, Sara Levine and Edward Hallex at Soul Bar.

Seated: Nikki, Curt and Elijah Osborn; standing: Paulette Long and Chris Knopp at Pizza Joint downtown.

Brad and Jana Ashing with Josh Holman at Stillwater Taproom.

SIGHTINGS

Neisha Boddie, Laura Benoit, Hailee Brady and Kimberly DiDominicus at Limelite Cafe.

Ginger McGahee, Irene Hadden and Mary March Banks at Bar West.

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Allison Pacus, Megan Bryant, Logan Bryant and Presley Salmon at Blue Sky Kitchen.

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The Highlander Butt Naked Trivia Thursday, July 25

The Highlander

:m[ckfgjl k bucksnortscigars.com 215 Edgefield Road (866) 561-85 33

Mellow Mushroom Trivia Tuesday, July 30

Fatman's fatmans.com 1450 Greene St (706) 733-1740

Manuel's Bread Cafe manuelsbreadcafe.com 505 Railroad Ave (803) 380-1323

Sky City Black Tusk Wednesday, July 24

Taste eatattaste.com 465 Railroad Ave (803) 341-9881

Stillwater Taproom Burning Angels Friday, July 26

Knuckle Sandwiches 1149 Broad St (706) 828-4700

Farmhaus Burger Ko]]l Dgm k ;jYZk`Y[c farmhausburger.com sweetlouscrabshack.com 1204 Broad St 13th & Broad (706) 496-8771 (706) 922-1699 :gYj k @]Y\ HmZ Frog Hollow Tavern theboarsheadpublichouse.com froghollowtavern.com 1135 Broad St 1282 Broad St (706) 723-5177 (706) 364-6906 1102 Pizza Joint 1102 Broad St thepizzajoint.net (706) 364-4075 1245 Broad St (706) 774-0037 Metro Coffee House 1054 Broad St Mellow Mushroom (706) 722-6468 mellowmushroom.com 1167 Broad St The First Round (706) 828-5578 210 11th St. (706) 364-8278 Sky City skycityaugusta.com Whiskey Bar (Kitchen) 1157 Broad St whiskeybarkitchen.com (706) 945-1270 1048 Broad St (706) 814-6159

28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

The Highlander abritishpub.com 133 Georgia Ave (803) 278-2796

>gp k DYaj She N She Friday, July 26

Soy Noodle House soynoodlehouse.com 1032 Broad St (706) 364-3116

Soul Bar soulbar.com 984 Broad St (706) 724-8880

HYmd]q k Kl]Yc`gmk] pauleyssteakhouse.com 1022 Broad St (706) 364-3512

Playground 978 Broad St (706) 724-2232

Eros Bistro erosbistro.com 1002 Broad St (706) 303-8641 :]] k Cf]]k beeskneestapas.com 211 10th St (706) 828-3600 Jggkl]j k :]Yc feedyourbeak.com 215 10th St (706) 364-2260 Blue Sky Kitchen blueskydowntown.com 990 Broad St (706) 821-3988

FY[`g EYeY k nachomamasaugusta.com 976 Broad St (706) 724-0501 Stillwater Taproom 974 Broad St (706) 826-9857 New Moon Cafe newmoondowntown.com 936 Broad St (706) 823-2008 The Loft 927 Broad St (706) 828-6600 Bar on Broad www.baronbroad.com 917 Broad St (706) 955-7954

Candlelight Jazz at the Common

Courtland Saxon & Desire Sunday, July 28

Bg] k Mf\]j_jgmf\ AcostA Saturday, July 27

Club Rehab 913 Broad St (706) 849-2265

:]Yea] k J]klYmjYfl 865 Reynolds St (706) 724-6593

Bg] k Mf\]j_jgmf\ 144 8th St (706) 724-9457

The Boll Weevil Cafe thebollweevil.com 10 9th St (706) 722-7772

Imperial Theater imperialtheatre.com 749 Broad St (706) 722-8341 Tipsey McStumbles 214 7th St (706) 955-8507 =Y_d] k F]kl 640 Broad St. 706-722-5541 The Sports Center 594 Broad St (706) 724-9307 Dma_a k www.luigisinc.com 590 Broad St (706) 722-4056

Cotton Patch eatdrinkbehappy.com 816 Cotton Ln (706) 724-4511 Mi Rancho 2 8th Street (706) 724-3366

Fox's Lair thefoxslair.com 349 Telfair St (706) 828-5600 The Bell Auditorium augustaentertainmentcomplex.com 712 Telfair St (706) 724-2400 James Brown Arena augustaentertainmentcomplex.com 601 7th St (706) 722-3521 Augusta Commons Broad St. between 9th and 8th street

@ad\]ZjYf\l k 226 6th St (706) 722-7756 209 Restaurant & Music Lounge 566 Broad St, (706) 722-9692 La Maison on Telfair lamaisontelfair.com 404 Telfair St (706) 722-4805

25JULY2013

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- G ;dg[c :akljg Funk You Sunday, July 28

The Hill

Surrey Tavern Danielle Howle and the Firework Show Friday, July 26

Club Argos Dance Party and Show Saturday, July 27

5 O'Clock Bistro 5oclockbistro.com 2111 Kings Way 706-922-9560

Crums on Central crumsoncentral.com 1855 Central Avenue 706-729-6969

Oliviana's 399 Highland Ave (706) 723-1242

The Pi Bar & Grille French Market Grille partridgeinn.com thefrenchmarketgrille.com 2110 Walton Way 425 Highland Ave (800) 476-6888 (706) 737-4865 Sheehan's Irish Pub @]d_Y k sheehansirishpub.com 2015 Central Ave 2571 Central Ave (706) 736-2880 (706) 364-1234

Bistro 491 491 Highland Ave (706) 738-6491 bistro491.com Calvert's Restaurant calvertsrestaurant.com 475 Highland Ave (706) 738-4514

Indian Queen 2502 Wrightsboro Rd (706) 303-8723

Club Argos 1923 Walton Way (706) 481-8829

Surrey Tavern augustasurreytavern.com 471 Highland Ave (706) 736-1221 Takosushi takosushi.com 437 Highland Ave Augusta GA

Evans/Martinez Tavern at the Bean Ladies Night Thursday, July 25

Augsburg Haus 4460 Washington Road 706-667-818 Chevys Nightclub 3328 Washington Road 706-250-3261 Columbia County Amphitheater 7022 Faircloth Dr Evans (706) 868-3349 ;m] f :j]o 2852 Washington Rd (706) 737-6008

Surreal at Surrey surreal-at-surrey.com 469 Highland Ave 706-496-2036

Lauras Backyard Tavern 218 S Belair Rd (706) 869-8695

W. Augusta

Pizza Joint A slice & a beer l`Yl ogf l k]l qgm back a whole lot.

Lady A. Amphitheater evanstownecenterpark.com 7016 Evans Town Center Blvd. 706-650-5005 Mai Thai 4272 Washington Rd (706) 210-9008

Rhineharts beyondcasual.com 305 N Belair Rd (706) 868-6850

Mellow Mushroom mellowmushroom.com 4348 Washington Rd (706) 364-6756

The Tavern at the Bean beanbaskette.com 4414 Evans to Locks Rd (706) 447-2006

Pizza Joint thepizzajoint.net 4301 Washington Rd (706) 447-4992

Sidetrack Bar and Grill sidetrackbarandgrill.com 4027 Washington Rd (706) 863-8951

Country Club Larry Frick Saturday, July 27

Wild Wing Mama Says Thursday, July 25

Bar West Augusta 3631 Walton Way Ext. Ste 3 (706) 736-0021 Bird Dog Grille 3851 Evans To Locks Rd (706) 814-5007 Buffalo Wild Wings buffalowildwings.com 120 Robert C Daniel Jr Pkwy (706) 736-1778 Cadwalladers Café 106 Davis Rd (706) 860-7444

25JULY2013

Carolina Ale House carolinaalehouse.com 203 Robert C Daniel Jr (762) 333-0019

Double Tree doubletree.com 2651 Perimeter Pkwy (706) 855-8100

The Country Club augustacountry.com 2834-F Washington Rd 706-364-1862

Edgars Grille edgarsgrille.com 3165 Washington Rd (706) 854-4700

Crazy Turks crazyturkspizza.com 2910 Washington Rd (706) 922-7299 Cue and Brew 2852 Washington Rd (706) 737-6008

Takosushi takosushi.com 1202 Town Park Ln (706) 863-0606 Tbonz tbonzofaugusta.com 2856 Washington Rd (706) 737-8325

S. Augusta Coyotes Maggie Rose Thursday, July 25

Coyotes

Somewhere in Augusta L`] Mfe]flagfYZd]k Saturday, July 27

Allie Katz Bar & Grill 3112 Washington (706) 667-9801

Retreat Tapas Bar 4446 Washington Rd (706) 250-3717

Limelite Café 1137 Agerton Ln (706) 731-0220

Robbie's Sport Bar 2834 Washington Rd (706) 738-0866

Rack and Grill 3481 Old Petersburg Rd (706) 855-7534

Shannons 300 Shartom Dr (706) 814-7760

Rae's Coastal Café 3208 W Wimbledon Dr French Market Grille West (706) 738-1313 frenchmarketwest.com Rhineharts 368 Furys Ferry Rd beyondcasual.com (706) 855-5111 3051 Washington Rd (706) 860-2337 Hooters hooters.com Road Runner 2834 Washington Rd roadrunnercafe.com (706) 736-8454 2821 Washington Rd (706) 364-3525

Coyotes coyotesaugusta.com 2512 Peach Orchard Rd (706) 560-9245

Road Runner Café 2508 Peach Orchard Rd (706) 790-8177

Villa Europa villaeuropa.com 3044 Deans Bridge Rd (706) 798-6211

Sheraton sheratonaugusta.com 1069 Stevens Creek Rd (706) 396-1000

TGI Fridays www.tgifridays.com Somewhere in Augusta 2800 Washington Rd somewhereinaugusta.com (706) 736-8888 2820 Washington Rd (706) 739-0002 The Snug Steak & Grill thesnug.net 240 Davis Rd (706) 863-1118

Wild Wing Café wildwingcafe.com 3035 Washington Rd (706) 364-9453

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Real hook ups, real fast.

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We specialize in tree cutting and limbing, landscaping, lot clearing, stump grinding, and much more!

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Michael Murray : 706.691.8832 Thomas Prince : 912.531.7079

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Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+ www.livelinks.com

MONEY

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25JULY2013

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The Eight

BOX TOPS

That’s a lot of “Part 2”s behind this week’s creepy winner. RANK

TITLES

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

THE CONJURING

$41,855,326

DESPICABLE ME 2

$24,906,360

$276,006,395

TURBO

$21,312,625

$31,015,384

GROWN UPS 2

$19,872,150

$79,38,,026

RED 2

$18,048,422

“Turbo”

EMILYWITT

Very little fancy or imagination in Disney’s latest outing

“Turbo” is the story of a snail named Theo who just wants to race in the Indy 500. It’s an animated movie, and Theo is an animated snail, but still just a snail, living a life of drudgery disposing of rotten tomatoes at a tomato plant. The tomato plant is a plant in two senses of the word, with whistles and lunch breaks, just as Theo is an animated snail in both senses of animated. His routine life does not appeal to him, nor the daily commute to the plant, where crows periodically pick off the traffic-‐bound snails. Conscious of his fragile mortality, Theo therefore longs to do something. “No dream is too big; no dreamer too small,” he tells himself. You have seen this movie before: the oxymoron that resolves its fatal discrepancy to achieve fame and satisfaction. In “Turbo,” the oxymoron — the accelerative snail — is resolved by magic. One night, after a bad day at work, the young snail goes out for a nighttime ooze and wishes upon a star that turns out to be an airplane. Tumbled into a whirlwind in the wake of the plane, Theo is blown into the bowels of a retrofitted dragster, falling through its churning pistons and receiving a deep infusion of nitrous oxide. Instead of producing a giggle fit, the nitrous oxide turns Theo’s beating heart a luminous blue. The first indication of his metamorphosis happens when he realizes he can turn his eyes into high beams, that he’s armed with an alarm and that he can transmit the full genrecized array of Clear Channel radio stations (Note to parents: Theo shuddering through his radio stations was the only scene in this movie that made the children in the theater laugh.) Most importantly, Theo discovers he can rev and zoom, leaving only exhaust patterns of cold blue light. At first unable to control his newfound power, Theo causes an accident at the tomato plant that gets both him and his brother fired. Cast out of the garden, the

In Theaters July 25 DRAMA

“Blue Jasmine,” rated PG-‐13, starring Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Peter Sarsgaard, Andrew Dice Clay, Louis C.K. Wow… that’s an odd assemblage of actors for a Woody Allen movie. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that Louis C.K. gets some action. After all, what could be more awkward? Oh yeah, it could be Andrew Dice Clay. That would definitely be more awkward. 25JULY2013

snails face destruction on the mean concrete swathes of Van Nuys, California. Then a young man named Tito, a taco truck owner whose blood sport is racing snails, rescues them. After realizing he has a winner on his hand, and to promote his failing strip mall taco business, Tito enters his snail in the Indy 500. The denouement: “Free tacos for everybody!” A snail is a difficult creature to anthropomorphize. The challenge of determining the gender of a snail provided some weak jokes, and it never felt quite right to watch them embrace each other with their eye stalks. As for the animated humans, here there is no deviation from the standard Disney repertoire. Theo’s main rival, a French-‐Canadian racecar driver named Guy Gagné, is like “Beauty and the Beast”’s Gaston hybridized with “Talladega Nights”’s Jean Girard: same French accent, same alliterative Gs, Frieda Kahlo-‐villain-‐brows, and cleft chin. The typecast voice actors perform as expected: Ryan Reynolds as the chirpy irrepressible Turbo; Paul Giamatti as his neurotic older brother Chet; Samuel L. Jackson as a leader of a snail racing gang; Michael Peña as the affable Tito. If what one seeks from an animated children’s film is a sequential presentation of rote formulas, then “Turbo” is satisfactory, but there’s little in the way of fancy or imagination. The most inspired creative choice turns out to be the strip mall setting, with its nail salon and its hobby shop, the place where immigrant entrepreneurialism meets the Americana kitsch of an Ed Ruscha photograph. Here, at least, was something original.

COMEDY

“The To Do List,” rated R, starring Aubrey Plaza, Bill Hader. Directed by Maggie Carey, of “Funny or Die Presents…” notoriety, from her own screenplay, this summertime teenage sex romp stars two TV favorites. Don’t let us down, Aubrey and Bill!

ACTION

“The Wolverine,” rated PG-‐13, starring Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen. Has seeing Hugh Jackson without a shirt become passé? It would seem so, given the lack of buzz this summer release superhero movie has gotten so far. Or maybe audiences are just tired of seeing Wolverine “confront his own demons.” If a superhero can’t conquer his own demons, how’s he supposed to protect the rest of us? AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Sibling String plays a farewell show Saturday, July 27, at Sky City with special guests the Kenny George Band and Sara Masterson. Where are they going? You’ll have to come WR WKH VKRZ WR ÀQG out. Doors open at 8 p.m. and music begins around 9:30. Admission is $5. Visit skycityaugusta.com.

Thursday, July 25 Live Music

Coyotes - Maggie Rose The First Round - Traverser MAD Studios - Singer/Songwriter Soapbox Maude Edenfield Park (North Augusta) - 246th Army Jazz Band and Art Show Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Polo Tavern - Riley Williams Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Somewhere in Augusta - Dallas Duff Soultry Sounds - King Ruffin Surrey Tavern - Steve Cheeks Piano Party Wild Wing - Mama Says

What’s Tonight?

Bar on Broad - Liddle Ugleez Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Sky City - Musica Latina w/ DJ Jose Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Tavern at the Bean - Ladies Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

Friday, July 26 Live Music

Country Club - Jared Ashley Doubletree - Jazz The First Round - The Six Shot Revival Fox’s Lair - She N She Joe’s Underground - Keith Gregory Laura’s Backyard Tavern - John Berret’s LaRoxes MAD Studios - Joey Banks, Dale Lewis Jr. Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Psycho DeVilles PI Bar & Grille - Live Jazz Polo Tavern - Southern Meltdown Sky City - The (Joel Cruz) Method Somewhere In Augusta - Storm Branch Band Stillwater Taproom - Burning Angels Surrey Tavern - Danielle Howle and the Firework Show Tavern at the Bean - Musicians Hangout w/ Nine Local Arts Performing Wild Wing - Stereotype

What’s Tonight?

100 Laurens - Shag Night w/ DJ Murl Augustine Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - Mix Masterson Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke 32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - ‘90s Night Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

Saturday, July 27 Live Music

100 Laurens - Eli Montgomery The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Columbia County Library Amphitheatre - Karaoke Night Country Club - Larry Frick Joe’s Underground - AcostA MAD Studios - Fourth Saturday Jazz Series Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - Cranford & Sons P.I. Bar and Grill - Smooth/Vocal Jazz Sky City - Sibling String Farewell Show, the Kenny George Band, Sara Masterson Somewhere In Augusta - The Unmentionables Surrey Tavern - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Wild Wing - TX Clergy

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Karaoke The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ Ender and DJ Fugi Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, July 28 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Funk You Candlelight Jazz - Courtland Saxon & Desire MAD Studios - J Edwards Partridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Kolbeck The Willcox - Live Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

Monday, July 29 Live Music

Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) - Ken Gabriel Band Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, July 30 Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Karaoke Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia Mi Rancho - Cornhole Carolina Meeting The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson

Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

Wednesday, July 31 Live Music Joe’s Underground - Jerod Gay Wild Wing - AcostA

What’s Tonight?

100 Laurens - Trivia Night with Moose Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Chris Killian and Sid Davis Stillwater Taproom - Pub Quiz Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Upcoming

Weaving the Fate, Kelen Heller, F.O.C.U.S. - Sky City August 3 Tony Williams & Blues Express - Candlelight Jazz August 4 Aiken Big Band - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 5 Mindless Behavior All Around the World Tour w/ OMG Girlz & CoCo Jones - Bell Auditorium August 8 Black Iron Gathering - Stillwater Taproom August 9 Preston & Weston - Candlelight Jazz August 11 Aiken Brass - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 12 Dank Sinatra - Sky City August 15 Era 9, Right to Fall, False Flag - Sky City August 16 Mississippi Kites - Stillwater Taproom August 16 The Darnell Boys, Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom August 17 Sounds Unlimited - Candlelight Jazz August 18 Fort Gordon Band - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 19 Mother’s Finest, Greg Hester - Sky City August 23 Monkeygrass Jug Band - Stillwater Taproom August 23 Will McCranie - Stillwater Taproom August 24 25JULY2013

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3035 WASHINGTON ROAD

W W W. W I L D W I N G C A F E . C O M AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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THUMBS UP

Best comment (so far) about Panda Watch… er, Royal Baby Watch: “Wait, aren’t we supposed to be morally outraged when two people who live off the government have a baby?”

DOWN

Worst comment: “The so-called ‘royal family’ are descendants of murderers and thieves.” Investigate anybody’s family tree, commenter, and you can probably say that.

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

WhineWhineWhine The “news” on tv should go back to the 1960s in length. 15 minutes a night. Anything more is overkill. Irony: When you tell an xian that you don’t believe in the bible, they try to convince you with bible passages! SMH That busybody from Lincoln County doesn’t just butt into Augusta’s affairs, he is also the one responsible for making sure Evans did not create a true town center. So now Evans Town Center is mostly Big box sprawl thanks to the meddler from Lincoln County. That’s a good idea to have a curfew on the Riverwalk. Any night cameras would cost more and people have more and safer outlets at more decent hours. We just cannot patrol 100% of places 100% of the time. Considering the fact that homeowners can be fined for their house being an “eyesore” or for their yard looking a mess, I would think the smart thing to do would be to provide enough garbage pickup each week. Augusta as a whole, should be embarrassed by the flies, maggots, overflowing garbage receptacles and HORRIBLE odors near homes and businesses. I was mad and scared after researching geoengineering and chemtrails on the internet. How can they, and why would they spray deadly chemicals out of planes into the air that we breath. Every nation does it and we just let them. Shame on me and shame on us for letting them hurt our health. What about our children.

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

The moaning over the loss of a fireworks show is ridiculous! The military in economic hardship has better things to do than to perform expensive shows for the public at virtually no charge or even little charges. They are a fighting force so no priority should be placed on entertainment. And there is a local big fireworks show already anyway.

Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” Really, Pat, really? Perhaps Pat should talk to a Holocaust survivor.

On Mothers Day May 2013, I was stopped at Old Petersburg and Baston Road. I asked the driver in the car next to us where he purchased the stick-on compass. He then took it off his windshield and here I don’t need it. Thank you!

There’s very little that “Caustic” Rhodes writes about with which I agree. Today is a rare day, and I shall mark my calendar. In his most recent column - which was, superficially, about the Trayvon Martin case, but really (as usual) about himself - he actually got something right: He most certainly IS “Augusta’s most obnoxious media personality.”

To the lady in her 50’s who complained about the increase in taxes to cover school system shortfalls because she didn’t have any kids, remember that our kids will be the ones covering your Social Security and staffing your nursing home when you’re in your 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Perhaps that will help you understand the importance of supporting them now and setting an example of social responsibility that you’d better hope they learn before you need to rely on them.

Once again Richmond county has made changes to my garbage service and once again I recieved a brand new garbage can. I noticed that every new can I recieve is smaller than the one before! It seems someone is taking cues from the grocery stores ...ice cream,coffee , ketchup mustard ,just to name a few have slipped us the smaller container at the same price. let’s do the math ..smaller can+ reduced pick up Days=taxpayer getting the shaft....

I was at the Sirens bout July 14 and It was embarrassing; the blockers did almost nothing to help our Jammers. Asheville was a great team, no doubt. But I feel that if our Sirens had a little more professionalism ... Pick a team by their abilities and not some crappy vote and get a coach that has actually played the sport and we might actually have a team that we can be proud of. Pat Robertson said, “It is the Democratic Congress, the liberalbased media, and the homosexuals who want to destroy the

Why was SO much media attention focused on the Zimmerman/ Martin saga? Were there no other newsworthy events for the past 18 months? Or no other crimes committed in the United States? How about focusing on terrorism or the economy or jobs? Enough of the Florida snafu, please!

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Black & White Copies only $25.00 25JULY2013