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( C O U G H ) T H E O S C A R S O F H AT AWA R D S , I N M E M O R I A M & T H AT S TA N K Y B A R B E L .
CHECK OUT… … FLY FISHING NATION’S TOP HATS FOR 2022. Forgive us if we sound like breathless fashion bloggers for a moment, but we’re happy to be on the other side of the media picture for once and we want to own this #humblebrag. In film and social media behemoth Fly Fishing Nation’s recent round-up of the Top Hats for 2022 - along with the iconic Boina/Berets of South American gauchos, Western Gaucho hats, fedora/cowboy style hats, tweed caps from former speycasting world champion Eoin Fairgrieve’s brand Salar and Patagonia’s truckers – you will find our legendary Tailgunner Grunter and Yella Fella Truckers. You’ll also find them at themissionflymag.com
BRING BACK… …THE SIMMS SURF TOP. With three-layered construction, fully taped seams, an adjustable neoprene waist and double sleeve cuffs (100% neoprene inner cuff) with hook-and-loop straps, a large handwarmer and a flap-covered gear pocket with drainage grommet plus a security pocket with waterproof zipper, this jacket was perfect for fishing the surf for kob, striped bass or whatever it is that frequents your coastline. But for some reason it disappeared from the Simms catalogue years ago, never to be replaced or updated. Sniff.
THE BABER SCOPE YOUR FISHING FUTURE ACCORDING TO YOUR STAR SIGN AS READ BY BABERMAN, THE LEGENDARY GRUMPY CATFISH. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Wotcher oh randy Sea-Goat, do we have news for you! You know how people are always admiring how conscientious and hard-working you are? And you know how you never give yourself enough time to do the things you want to do like get a back-sack-and-crack or go on that fly fishing trip of a life time? Well, your pubes are your own, life is short and people die all the time. So do you want to be the hard-working grunt forever or do you want to enjoy the time you have left on this planet (could maybe 5 minutes, could be 80 years, are you feeling lucky)? We suggest selling everything and embarking on a round-the-world fly fishing trip with no definite end point. The Mission gave you permission to do so. What’s the worst that can happen?* Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You cheerful bastards have that eternal optimism thing down to a fine art. No matter that we are on the last fishing day of a dismal trip - you pipe up about being certain that our luck will change as hail obliterates our camp and our cars get stuck in a flash flood. “I’m sure we will catch tomorrow!” And weirdly enough, we often do. Your purity of thought means you should become a Kindergarten teacher, or write Tenkara manuals. I swear, by the third barbel on the right side of my face, that this year your collective positivity will change the world for the good. Or you’ll all do a Jonestown-Kool-Aid-Fest. It’s unclear. * Quite a lot it seems. This is probably terrible advice.
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