Leslie Meyers, “The Sons of Eve”

The Sons of Eve

Leslie Meyers

I did my best. God gave me two sons and I did my best with them. Abel was the kindest young man. I would watch him play in the meadow with the baby lambs and be reminded of how gentle and loving he’d always been since he was a boy. Cain also had a tender side. However, most of the time that side of him was masked in sullen moodiness. Cain had a temper that could leave deep wounds like a knife. Sometimes I would catch Cain staring at Abel as he tended to the lambs. There would be a sort of emptiness in his eyes. Every time I witnessed that look, my heart would catch slightly. What could I do? He was a man. He made his own choices. He made his own mistakes. I poured my heart out to God about him often. How could I not? He was my son. One night after supper I decided to speak with my firstborn; I left Abel to put out the fire and took Cain aside. We sat down in the middle of my favorite green meadow and I gazed up at the amazing twinkle light display above me. Cain laid his head on his knees and sighed. I reached over, rubbed his back, and asked the question I had been pondering for many nights. “What’s wrong, son?” Silence greeted me as I waited in the stillness for his response. His back began to slightly shake under my touch. I scooched close to him. His head fell lightly on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him. “You can tell me.” He let out a muffled sob he attempted to hold back with his hand. A minute later his entire frame became racked with sobs. After he calmed down and let out a violent sniff, his head lifted from my shoulder and turned to look me in the eyes. I met his gaze and asked again, “What’s wrong?” He blinked. His gaze then lifted to the vast canopy of bright stars dancing above us. “Mom, do you ever feel like God made a mistake in making me?” I recoiled in shock. How could these words come out of my precious baby boy? “Son, why would you even say such a thing to me? You know God loves you.” “I know, Ma, but sometimes it feels like God gave you one perfect son and He made a mistake by making me. I’ve always known I could never be like Abel. I don’t talk and act like him. I have a lot of anger inside me. Sometimes all I want to do is hurt him for being so perfect. I hate myself for feeling so worthless around him.” “Son, God loves us all the same. He doesn’t love Abel more because he is maybe more mild-mannered than you. He loves both of you equally. He appreciates the strengths of both of you and understands your weaknesses too.”

“But Mom, the big sacrifice is coming up tomorrow and I’m afraid of what might happen.” “Why would you say that?” “What if God doesn’t like what I give Him?” “Son, just give God your best. That’s all He asks of you.” Cain nodded his head and sighed. I didn’t know

what to say or do. I didn’t know how to actually help my son. So, I just continued to hold him and tell him how much I loved him. Several minutes passed and then we slowly plodded back to our tents and went to sleep. The following morning dawned just like any other and as the sun woke up I arose, remembering what day it was and where my boys were about to head off to. I cooked some recently harvested potatoes. Soon I was greeted by the smiling face of Abel and the gaunt and drawn one of Cain. They ate quickly and kissed me goodbye before exiting our campsite and heading off to offer up their gifts to God. Several hours soon passed. The offerings weren’t supposed to take this long. But I decided to ignore the thread of worry that began to wiggle its way into my heart. I instead worked at weeding the garden and collecting firewood for the evening meal. All of a sudden, a powerful scream sliced through the still midday air and my heart stopped beating for the longest second of my life. I was stricken motionless. Only after that moment had finally passed did my heart jolt back into action. I dropped the sticks and logs from my arms and broke into a sprint. I flew to the clearing where the boys went to make their sacrifices. I frantically looked around me for any sign of them. Seeing a forest on the far side of the clearing from where I stood, I rushed into the dense foliage. The only thing that met me there was darkness. It threatened to encapsulate my very soul the moment I stepped into it. I searched and called out for my sons to answer me. Only silence responded. After several minutes of hasty searching I was finally able to locate the form of my precious baby boy sprawled limply on the leaf-strewn forest floor. Blood was pooling from his abdomen. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t make a noise. I remained frozen until every fiber of my being screamed at me to go to my son. As I bent over him one fleeting thought stuck out in my mind. Could this have been Cain? An image of them playing together between the vegetable beds when they were just children popped into my mind. Endless hours of hide-and-seek were spent there. Could one brother possibly do this to another? Could Cain be hurting so deeply he would resort to such cruelty? I collapsed on the floor by Abel’s body and cradled his head in my arms. I rocked back and forth as the sobs came swift and free. Did God care? Was He here with me? Everything was so much easier when I was able to see Him with my own eyes. I needed Him to tell me how I failed my sons. I needed to know what I did wrong! This must’ve somehow been my fault. Cain wouldn’t just do this. My thoughts stabbing at my mind like tiny knives, I cried out to God, longing for answers, but the answers never came.