The Dating Game: TalkinG Blood, Swipe & Tears

their ideal partner for more than a decade-and-a-half— nding love is an inside job.

Love coach KarennaAlexander guides clients through the Match Game hellscape. |

By Mitch Rustad

In these turbulent times, more and more people are seeking therapists, life coaches, support groups and gurus to bolster their mental health. And for those looking for love, the search can seem especially daunting. The sheer number and scope of dating apps—swipe le , swipe right, on and on and on—can be overwhelming. As a certi ed life coach myself, I notice that most people just want to be happier, more joyful and ful lled. Part of that for many, of course, includes nding romance, love connections and ultimately that dream partner.

But according to love and dating coach Karenna Alexander—a certi ed matchmaker who’s been helping people nd choice words author of A Woman’s Guide To Understanding Men: Dating Secrets Most Women Don’t Know, “and it’s o en because they’re giving too much, too soon and not having healthy boundaries.”

“Self-love is a big thing,” says Alexander, who works with clients throughout the Hudson Valley, New York City, Connecticut and even internationally via Zoom, phone or even text message sessions. “The lack of it o en prevents people from nding love. That’s why coaching can be really helpful.” Ironically, it was her own romantic troubles that led the former journalist and public relations exec to pursue her rather unconventional profession.

“I had dating problems of my own and I read books and had some great mentors, and that really helped me,” Alexander says. “I had this problem, and I solved it and that made me want to help others. It’s a real passion.”

Is there a common denominator most of her lovelorn clients share? “Many people come to me because they’re getting hurt, and don’t know what to do,” says Alexander,

Alexander suggests the following if you’re hitting a romantic snag: “Give the person space, try to avoid nagging, bossing or telling them what to do and put the focus on yourself.” But how does looking for love involve a focus on yourself? “I’m big on the idea of choosing happiness, because it’s an important choice I make every day,” Alexander says. “That means striving to be your higher self and choosing to focus on happiness now, no matter what.”

Alexander warns of buying into the idea of a partner who’s seemingly got it all: “Stop seeking this fantasy of perfection, that’s one way to self-sabotage,” she says. “My rst goal with clients is for them to nd someone who treats them right.”